After a long day at work, there's nothing like coming home and smearing a little peanut butter on your child's cheek and letting your dog lick it off.

Gross? Nah. Just some really great video footage that's great to listen to over and over again. Turns out there is a whole movement of the "Peanut Butter Game" on YouTube, inspired by the movie "Funny People" with Adam Sandler.

If you haven't tried this with your kids yet, give it a go. And don't forget to come back and tell us about it.

When my children are miserable, I am miserable. The South Florida summer heat has been testing my family lately. It’s so hot that I’ve begun to compile a list of things to do that can keep my kids cool and occupied even if it’s 95 degrees outside with a humidity level so thick you can dip chips in it.

Here are my top five. What are yours? Please share:

Water parks: The only parks I’m going to these days must have the word “water” in front of them. And one of the perks of living in South Florida -- there are plenty of options for water parks. My two favorite are Paradise Cove at CB Smith Park in Pembroke Pines and Castaway Island at TY Park in Hollywood. Food, shade and water slides. What more do you need? Want more options? Check out SunSentinel.com’s list of South Florida water parks.

Skating rinks: There are both ice skating and roller skating options throughout South Florida, and I’m determined to try a few this summer. Just because you’re indoors doesn’t mean your kids can’t be doing exercise. I plan to introduce my five-year-old son to both ice skating and roller skating before the summer is over. Wish me luck.

Get messy at home: The other day, I took my kids to the art supply store to buy an ample supply of finger paints and big banner paper. Both loved getting messy in the (screened, ceiling-fan equipped) back patio. My son made an American flag, and my 9-month-old daughter just had fun making a big, fat mess. A nice bubble bath followed.

Be a tourist: Sure I know South Florida like the back of my hand. But my kids don’t. A boat and a nice view of our beautiful waterways can be a nice distraction for everyone in the family. Fort Lauderdale has the Jungle Queen. Miami’s Bayside has the Island Princess.

Indoor attractions: There is a selection of museums, of course, but there’s so much more: Wannado City in Sunrise, Playmobil Fun Park in Palm Beach Gardens, and the new LEGO store in Aventura, to name a few.

Twice in the last month I’ve had to play Facebook cop. On two separate occasions, I came across photos from the children of two childhood friends of mine. With a simple click, I was not only able to see the most recent photos they tagged on Facebook but all of their photo albums. I shouldn’t have been able to. I’m not friends with them on Facebook.

In both cases, they were young teenage girls, which meant they had their share of photos where they tried their best to look 25. I messaged both of their mothers and politely suggested that they check their daughters’ privacy settings. My guess was the teens had their albums set to be viewed by “friends of friends” as opposed to just “friends.”

Both of my friends quickly responded with a big thanks. They had not realized there was an open window to their kids’ accounts. I just hope I have friends who return the favor one day when my kids are teens.

There has been lots of chatter lately about Facebook and its privacy settings. All parents should take steps to keep their kids safe on the social networking site. Here’s where I would start. What do you have to add?

First, get on Facebook. Don’t just open an account and never use it. Become “Friends” with your kids. Learn to use and love Facebook. Become familiar with its applications. It’s only when you become a skilled user that you’ll be able to inform your children on how to behave and use Facebook.

Sit down and go over all of the account and privacy settings with your teen. (Facebook rules dictate you must be at least 13 to open an account; I’m sure there are many kids who get around that.) Become familiar with how to block someone, how to secure photo albums, wall posts, etc. Be sure to check back regularly. Facebook has changed its privacy settings several times in the last year.

Enlist your close friends to help keep your kids safe. Ask them from time to time to try to access your child’s account. If they are not “Friends” with your child, they should not be able to see anything that is posted on your child’s page. If you see something wrong with your friends' children's accounts, be sure to reach out to the parents and let them know.

If my husband and I had met when we were in grade school (technically impossible, I like to point out, since we’re nine years apart), we probably would not have been in the same class. He was “gifted.” I was not.

As our son gets ready to enter kindergarten, we now find ourselves wondering where he might fall on the IQ spectrum. Most parents think their kids are the smartest, cutest, (enter superlative). But is your child gifted?

How and when my son should be tested is an ongoing debate in my household. As we wrangle with the issue, we find ourselves vacillating between the need to be our son’s best advocate and the desire to avoid placing too much emphasis on a label.

Here are things my husband and I are considering as we make our decisions. What’s your take?

Look for signs: Trust your instincts as a parent and consider your child’s teacher’s observations. Look online for some of the checklists experts have compiled that can help parents informally identify if their child exhibits characteristics often associated with giftedness. One website to check out: The National Association for Gifted Children.

Getting tested: Most experts recommend testing a child no younger than 5 years old because results could be unreliable if done too early. Many suggest the ideal range is somewhere between 5 and 9. You can go through your child’s school, which is often free but may not be administered when you want it. Many parents these days (several that I know) go the route of hiring licensed psychologists to conduct the test. Be warned: Doing so can typically cost $500-$800. Be sure to check out a recent post by fellow blogger Lois Solomon on the topic.

Life beyond gifted: If you decide to postpone the test or if the results aren’t what you had hoped, don’t panic. Being gifted does not ensure that your child will be successful – academically or in life. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t sting at the time when I was tested for gifted and was told I didn’t make the cut. Perhaps that’s when my natural drive kicked into overdrive. One of my greatest joys throughout childhood and throughout my career has been to achieve what I was told I couldn’t. Nothing motivates me more than someone telling me I can’t do something.

The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. So here I am to announce it to the world: I am addicted to my smart phone.

I sometimes take it to the dining table in case an e-mail drops into my inbox that needs an immediate response. I will take it outside to my children’s playground and multitask -- push the swing and post to Facebook at the same time. I’ll take it to the beach on the weekend and check on SunSentinel.com.

A recent New York Times article pointed out the possible perils of staying plugged in while parenting. Experts have found that children may begin to act out if they feel they are constantly competing for a parent’s attention. Experts also warn that wired parents may be talking to their young children less, which over time could affect a young child’s vocabulary development.

My iPhone and I have become so glued to each other, my five-year-old son is starting to resent the technology – and he is a fan! He inherited my husband’s old iPhone and now uses it to watch videos, play with apps and take pictures. So it speaks volumes when he tells me, “No iPhone,” as a rule when we’re off to go do something.

(BTW, I just checked my e-mail on my phone.)

So I have decided I need some intervention to put my tech use in check. It’s a delicate balance because my job as the editor in charge of SunSentinel.com requires me to be available 24-7 if emergencies come up. (And “emergencies” are loosely defined.) I also know that I have technology to thank for the fact that I don’t have to go rushing into the office if there is an emergency. The beauty is that I can handle things remotely, which means I could actually be spending more time with my kids than perhaps I would be if it weren’t for the technology.

Here are a few steps I have taken that you might want to consider if you too find that your new best friend is a handheld device with an unlimited media plan:

Talk to your children and explain your demands from work. I’m a big believer that the more you engage your children in those types of conversations, the more they’ll learn to appreciate what you do and develop aspirations of their own about what careers they’d eventually like to pursue. When my husband and I took the kids to the beach earlier this month, I explained to my son that I was working to resolve a problem at work. That prompted a few questions from him that I gladly answered (while I was e-mailing, texting and checking the website on the phone).

Create phone-free periods of time. For some folks, it may be setting specific blocks of time when you’re not plugged in. For others, like me, it may be committing to focusing on certain activities (going on the playground, playing ball outside, having dinner etc.) without having the phone present.

Avoid using the phone while in the car. Yes, we all know you shouldn’t text and drive – and even talking on the cell phone can be hazardous. But try to disconnect even if you are a passenger and instead enjoy the journey by starting a conversation with your kids or just enjoy the scenery.

Parents rarely get it all right the first time. We make mistakes: We’re anxious. We’re impatient. We’re overeager. And, usually, it’s the oldest child who pays the biggest price for our flaws.

Subsequent children are like a do-over – they are our chance to correct our behavior and make things right.

Now that I am a mom of two, there are some things I am doing differently with the second child. And it generally comes down to micromanagement, or what some experts call “helicopter parenting.”

A study published earlier this month in LiveScience says overly protective parents may unintentionally raise neurotic children who are unable to solve their own problems as they enter adulthood and have trouble adapting to new ideas or situations. The study, conducted on college freshmen, came about after college admissions counselors around the country began seeing an uptick in the number of parents who were intervening on behalf of their grown children to solve problems that previously had been handled between the university and the student.

The study is far from being the definitive word on the effects of helicopter parenting. There are plenty of kids who are better for it, I’m sure. But it got me thinking about some of the changes I have made the second time around in parenthood.

Here’s my “do-over” list. What’s yours?

Let them figure it out themselves. My husband and I look back with some disappointment at how much we intervened in my son’s early years. The best of intentions, of course, but was it really necessary, say, to show a one-year-old how to correctly play with that Fisher-Price tree house? If he was holding his spoon or cup incorrectly, we’d jump in constantly to make it right. You name it, and we corrected it in the spirit of showing how things should be done the “right” way. And we wonder why our son now despises doing something if he can’t do it right the first time.

I’ve found with my 8-month-old daughter that less really is more. And it’s mostly a function of me having less time to obsess over the little things (and understanding that it all really works out in the end). I let her play freely and inevitably she figures things out for herself. She’s already holding a sippy cup by herself, in large part because I don’t have time to sit down and hold it for her the entire time.

Ease up on the schedule. I am still a big believer in routines. Predictability makes for happier babies, no doubt about it. But flexibility does not necessarily lead to chaos, as I once believed. When my son was an infant and toddler, I stuck to his routine like glue. Any deviations were cause for stress. He had to eat at a certain time, nap at a certain time, and bathe at a certain time.

My daughter, on the other hand, has had to adjust her schedule constantly to fit to our changing routines and her older brother’s needs. Beginning at three weeks old, she was carted around to soccer or Tball practices and games that sometimes interfered with her naps or feeding schedule. And guess what? She survived. She adapted. She was happy. Amazing.

Germs are inevitable. Good hygiene remains at the top of my list. And I still make sure I always have Purell on hand. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that germs are unavoidable. No matter how hard you try, your kids will get sick. So why turn them into germaphobes? Again, my husband and I took things a bit to the extreme with my son to the point where he refused to get his hands dirty in class. Finger-painting was cause for stress. My son hated it at first. (And, frankly, he can still do without it.)

I’m guessing my daughter’s immune system will be like Teflon thanks to all the germs she’s inevitably exposed to purely by having an active older brother.

I’m still in the honeymoon phase of raising two children. My five-year-old son absolutely adores his seven-month-old sister. He can’t get enough of her. In fact, the other day he told me: “I want her to grow faster.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I want her to follow me around.”

Be careful what you wish for, I thought. I have a feeling challenges are on the horizon as my son begins to adjust to a life where he is not always the center of attention. I already see little glimmers of what lies ahead.

I can’t film my daughter without my son imposing himself into the camera lens. I hand her a toy and inevitably he’s grabbing it. A friend comes over to see the baby and my son persistently interrupts.

My husband and I are conscious of the transition he’s going through. At the same time, we want to make sure our daughter isn’t robbed of special moments because her brother wants the spotlight. What to do?

Come up with a plan. Here are some steps we’re taking:

Schedule one-on-one time. My husband and I will alternate outings with our son. I’ll take him to a movie, just the two of us. My husband might plan a trip to the park. We do the same with the little one. We intentionally split up so each can get undivided attention. My son, I know, is happier for it.

Nip tattling in the bud. If you have a preschooler, this is one milestone you’d love to skip. No infraction is too small. If my son feels wronged – or if he notices his baby sister is not following the “rules” – he tattles. The positive is that he understands there are rules and there is right and wrong. The problem is there are no shades of gray, no understanding that she is a baby, and he is five years old. We’re working with him to distinguish between when something is dangerous (“She’s putting her head in the oven.”) and when he’s just irritated (“She took my toy.”)

It’s quality not quantity. Back to my first point. As much as it’s nice to schedule special outings with each child, don’t focus on the amount of time. If you do, you’ll feel like a failure. The truth is if you spend 10 minutes of quality time with your child, doing something he/she really wants to do (and free of distractions like cell phones) it’s better than an hour of multitasking.

Memorial Day is just around the corner. If you’re planning to travel with your kids, good luck.

As a parent, you never know what a road trip or cross-country flight will bring. Constant stops at service plazas to load up on stale snacks and unload little bladders? Fits of crying during takeoff and landing while those little ear drums pop?

I’ve traveled enough with my son (and now daughter) to understand that it takes a certain attitude and perseverance to brave an extended amount of time in tight quarters with kids. So make your life easy (or tolerable) and prepare.

Here are a few tips I have learned can make all the difference when vacationing. Would love to hear some of yours. You can never have too many.

Be prepared for an emergency. I know, that’s a downer of a first tip. But it’s so important. I learned this one the hard way. Bring all the medicine you hope you won’t need. More importantly, locate and get directions to the nearest hospital or urgent care clinic. Don't wait, like I did, until you’re in the midst of a crisis at 3 a.m. with a child who’s battling a 103.5-degree fever that appears resistant even to ibuprofen.

Traveling by air? Consider your location on the plane depending on the age of your child. I swear by the back of the plane if you have a mobile toddler. Children can actually get up and move around without bothering a lot of people. Don’t make the rookie mistake and go for the emergency exit row. The seats don’t recline (your children will remind you of this every minute of your flight). And there’s a good chance you’ll be seated next to passengers without kids who may not be as understanding as you’d like when your little one starts to scream.

Save yourself some money and buy gifts before you leave. This works like a charm for vacations to Disney World. Toys at gift shops at the parks cost a small fortune. Buy a couple of must-haves ahead of time and pull them out right on queue.

It happens to the best of parents: Over time -- as a result of exhaustion, frustration or both -- our children get away with behavior that we’re too tired to correct. Before you know it, you’re dealing with a kid who can only eat dinner while watching TV, goes to bed late and believes picking up toys is the equivalent of Chinese water torture (if only he knew what Chinese water torture really was).

Breaking bad habits can be painful for everyone involved. So from one parent to another, here are a few things I’m learning along the way that you might want to keep in mind to have any fighting chance of success:

Mom and Dad need to get on the same page. And do so on your own time – not in the midst of a situation. My son is only 5 years old and already has perfected the art of playing us against each other. Fortunately, he’s still at the age where he’ll announce what he’s doing before he’s actually doing it, so I can play interference a little more effectively before any real damage is done. It goes something like this:

“Time to pick up your toys,” I announce.
“But I don’t want to,” he says.
“Before you take out another toy, you’re going to have to put these away.”
“But they’re too heavy. I can’t pick them up.”
“I’ll help you with a few. Let’s go.”
“I’m going to ask Dad.” (Queue dragging feet.) “‘Dad, is it OK if I play with these toys?’”
“Of course. Maybe after we can play Wii,” my husband responds, oblivious to the situation.

Be consistent. If you really want meaningful results and a true change in habits, you must commit. No sense in having three straight nights of TV-free family dinners only to have the fourth night, in a moment of weakness, hosted by Dora the Explorer, as happened to us tonight. Now we have to start from scratch.

As much as possible, try to make it fun. I keep learning this the hard way. It takes more energy and patience on your part, but the payoff is so much bigger and better. After a week’s vacation when we recently had several out-of-town family members staying in our home, my son grew accustomed to staying up later than usual. Moving up bedtime again wasn’t easy. After a few failed attempts, I got creative. About 30 minutes before I knew I wanted him asleep, I asked my son if he wanted to have a late-night picnic in his bedroom. We brought fruit, snacks and a few toys to his room. Before he knew it, we were reading his bedtime story and off to sleep he went -- happily and seemingly on his own terms.

What works for you?

My husband loves gadgets. If it runs on batteries, plugs into a wall or lights up in any fashion, he is smitten. Nothing makes him happier than to open a box of new electronic equipment. This is what happens when you’re married to a consumer columnist.

The problem? His love of tech can taint his gift buying. For this Mother’s Day, he came up with a list of gadgets husbands can buy for their wives, the mother of their wonderful children.

But with all due respect, Mr. Consumer, I don’t want a gadget for Mother’s Day. How ‘bout peace and tranquility at home while you take the kiddos to the zoo? I’ll settle for ice cream. Just enough time for me to sleep in past 6:30 a.m., take a shower without being interrupted and eat a breakfast that consists of more than a frosted-covered Pop Tart.

If I want a smart phone, an iPod or even a digital camera, I’ll budget it into my household expenses and buy it. A true gift – especially one that commemorates all that we mothers do, often without any recognition – doesn’t have to come with an instruction manual. It doesn’t even have to be expensive. Get creative husbands of the world!

I’m here to help. Here is my list of Mother’s Day presents that should make many moms happy this Sunday. I’d love to hear your list:

Take on some additional chores for a week or, if you’re really ambitious, a month. That means washing the dishes and making dinner with a smile. It means doing ALL of the laundry. Not just throwing some clothes in the wash, adding detergent and calling it a night. You dry; you fold; you put away. And please don’t expect brownie points or leverage for getting out of doing other things later on.

Do something fun with the kids, and give Mom some time to lounge around the house. It’s not about keeping the kids away all day. Too much time apart from their kids and many moms will start to feel guilty. But having time that is all our own is truly a gift – and rare. Note to husbands: The key here is doing something “fun” with the kids. Not just falling asleep on the couch while the kids find ways to entertain themselves.

Consider a spa day or gift certificate if you’re going to spend some money. Take the extra step of making the appointment for that special woman in your life and making the necessary arrangements with the kids. Take the planning out of her hands. Book the massage, the pedicure, the hair styling. You might even consider a date night to end the day.

Do all of the above. Do that, and you’ll have one very happy Mom.

I threw away more than $50 worth of children's medication this weekend. In case you missed it: McNeil Consumer Healthcare recalled more than 40 infant and children's medications late Friday.

This includes Infant Tylenol, Children's Tylenol, Children's Motrin and Children's Benadryl. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration is now investigating.

What's the problem? Here's the answer straight from McNeil's website: "Some of the products included in the recall may contain a higher concentration of active ingredient than is specified; others may contain inactive ingredients that may not meet internal testing requirements; and others may contain tiny particles. "

Not only did I give my son several doses of Children's Tylenol about a week ago (from a bottle on the recall list), but I also had several unopened bottles that I had to toss into the garbage. My children's medicine cabinet is now empty.

Before you purchase your next dose of children's medicine, be sure to take this recall list with you. It includes all of the affected lot numbers, which is a number that usually looks something like this: NDC-50580-143-30

My proudest parent moments are when my son does something honorable without my prodding. Earlier this week, my visiting sister-in-law from California tagged along when I dropped off my five year old at school. We entered the classroom and before I knew it, my son was introducing his aunt individually to each of his friends:

“Drew, say hi to my Aunt Debbie,” he started. “Aunt Debbie, this is Drew.”

He repeated the introduction at least several times over and finished by introducing his teacher. My sister-in-law was impressed and so was I. It made me think that these past years of trying to teach manners are beginning to pay off ---without the need of constant reminders.

Here’s my Top Five list of manners all parents should teach their children starting at a very young age. I’d love to hear your list:

1) Say, “Please” and “Thank you” often. And if your child is thanked, teach him or her to say, “You’re welcome.” After four years of pushing this one, I feel like my son gets it. And if he happens to forget, I’ll gently remind him.

2) Wait your turn and do not interrupt other people when they are speaking. This is tough one, and I’ve only recently made a breakthrough with my son. It seemed whenever I took a phone call or began to have a conversation with anyone other than him, my son would want (demand) my attention. Over the last couple of weeks, he has begun to say, “Excuse me, Mommy…” Music to my ears. And, frankly, it makes me want to stop what I’m doing to respond.

3) Clean up after yourself. Teachers drill this in at school, so why not make sure it happens at home? Teach your children to help clean the table after a meal or put away their toys when they’re done playing with them.

4) Practice good sportsmanship. My son is not a gloater, but he also hates to lose. If he sulks, I tell him we won’t play again until he learns how to lose graciously.

5) Exit/entering etiquette. Kids can’t help it. They always want to be first – for everything. My son and I now play a silly little game when we enter Target. “After you,” I tell him. “No, after you,” he replies. We repeat it a few times and it always makes him smile. Now he’s doing it elsewhere on his own. So what if the unsuspecting people at the receiving end don’t realize he’s playing a game? At least my son is being polite.

My five-year-old son thinks I choose not to pick him up from school every day. Several times a week, he asks if I’m going to pick him up that day. It doesn’t matter that I take him to school practically every day. It’s often my husband’s job to do pick-up.

“Can you race Daddy today and win?” he asks.

After countless failed attempts at explaining myself, I now usually reply, “I’ll race him, but Daddy might be faster than me today.”

As I see it: Better my son think I’m a really slow driver than a mom who, according to him, doesn’t want to pick him up.

It’s these types of struggles that I think make Take Your Child to Work Day on Thursday worthwhile. And for working moms, it’s finally an event that you don’t have to try to rearrange your schedule to accommodate. You’re actually cool for going to work away from home. No guilt.

If you’re still on the fence about bringing your son or daughter to work with you, here’s my list of reasons to go for it.

* Chances are your child has no concept of all that you do in a day’s work. For all he or she knows, when you go to “work” you spend the day doodling on a notepad and eating Cheetos. (I go to plenty of meetings and have seen my share of both.)

Giving little Johnny or Jenny a real taste of your daily obligations at work could go a long way in helping them appreciate all that you do when you finally make it back home and start your second shift.

* Shadowing you for a day can help your kids learn why going to school is important. It can help them connect the dots and realize there is an end result to seemingly countless years sitting in a classroom. It can also spark a conversation about going to college, which is never too early to start.

* It reinforces you as a role model. I love that my son and daughter will grow up watching Mom and Dad break traditional gender roles. I enjoy watching my son help Dad when he’s doing the laundry. I think it’s great for my kids to see where I work and aspire to a career when they’re older.

Take advantage of the day to talk to your kids about what they’d like to be when they grow up. My son, as of late, has said he wants to be a scientist --or a reporter who “works for the Big S (Sun Sentinel Co.).” Wonder how long that will last.

My son and I took our first dip in the pool last week. I was nervous: It had been a good seven months since my son last went swimming. Would he remember how?

Fortunately, the swimming lessons of the past two years had staying power. But as fellow Sun Sentinel writer and occasional daddy blogger Nick Sortal pointed out in a story this week, knowing how to swim doesn’t make a child drown-proof. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission gives the following tips for pool season:

- Install barriers to the pool to limit access. Fences should be at least four-feet high.

- Learn CPR. Check out local community colleges and universities or the YMCA for classes.

- Avoid pools that have broken drain covers. New, safer drains are usually dome shaped.

- Parental supervision: Nothing tops that.

The perils of parenting.

Sitting in a basket in my living room are toys for my 6-month-old. I just learned that one of her favorites, a soft wind chime, is a hazard. So much of a hazard, in fact, that toymaker Tiny Love recently announced a voluntary recall of the toy and others like it because young children can break them and expose dangerous metal inside.

A lot has changed since my son was born five years ago. Today, there are high-profile recalls of cribs, strollers, high chairs and toys containing unsafe levels of lead. Making matters worse, my daughter is inheriting a lot of her older brother’s toys and equipment. The crib, high chair, activity saucer, toys -- including the dangerous wind chime mentioned above.

What’s a parent to do? Be vigilant.

Check your cribs: More than 700,000 cribs have been recalled just since the beginning of this year, including models responsible for at least four child deaths. If you’re a second-time parent like me, chances are your baby is sleeping in the crib an older sibling used. New or old, keep up on the latest crib recalls by visiting the appropriate section of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s website.

Check your toys: I remember going out and buying lead testing kits when there were the spate of toy recalls a couple of years ago. We actually had to part with one of my son’s favorite dye cast metal cars, which made a recall list. And as my discovery this week shows, it’s not just lead you have to worry about. There are choking hazards or toys that come apart and can scratch, scrape or otherwise injure your little one. Put your toys through a test and pull, shake and smack them on the floor, just like a child would, to see what happens. And regularly check the CPSC list of toy hazard recalls.

Check your baby bottles: Only five years ago, it was considered the norm to nuke your baby’s bottles in a microwave sanitizer container. That’s what I did, as did my sister, in-laws and friends. Today, you’ve got to be aware of recent studies that say clear plastic baby bottles can leach a harmful chemical when exposed to intense heat, say a dishwasher -- OR a microwave sanitizer container! Time will tell if millions of babies, my oldest included, get sick as a result of potential exposure. The substance known polycarbonate apparently gives off small amounts of bisphenol A, called BPA, which has been shown to cause tumors, reproductive problems and developmental damage in some animals.

When my baby was born, I switched bottles to a brand called Born Free, which markets itself as a safe, BPA-free product.

Summer is right around the corner. If you’re a working parent, you feel like you’re now racing against the clock to find the right camp for your child.

For parents of young children, it’s about finding quality daycare that doesn’t feel like daycare. The last thing you want is for there to be no discernable difference between pre-school and camp. What fun is that?

That’s why I love the Mailman Segal Institute’s Summer Fun Camp at Nova Southeastern University. They transform the place into a unique summer experience, with sing-alongs, “camp fires” and lots of water and playground fun. Last summer, my son came home every week with a repertoire of new songs and art projects.

If you haven’t already, be sure to check out the SunSentinel.com summer camp guide, which lists hundreds of South Florida camps. And to help get you started with your search, here are a few tips worth considering:

- Ask for a group discount. If you have more than one child who will be enrolling in a camp, ask for a price break. It’s also worth asking if you get a group of your kid’s friends to enroll.

- Faith-based groups, city parks and recreation departments, and YMCAs usually offer camps that are reasonably priced.

- Ask about scholarships. Some camps work with foundations that set aside some money to be available to families in need.

- Find out about fieldtrips. Do they have any? I prefer MSI's approach: Bring the fieldtrips to camp. Doing so gives parents more peace of mind that the little ones aren't being shuttled around by others.

- Organize play-date swaps. Check with the parents of some of your child’s friends to see if they’re interested in alternating days or weeks to watch over a small group of kids.

My son has been going to daycare or preschool since he was 20 months old. He’s no stranger to socializing with other kids, listening during circle time or keeping track of his lunchbox.

That’s why I thought the transition to kindergarten would be anticlimactic. I wouldn’t have one of those tearful first days. My son is an old pro.

Silly me. There’s so much to worry about – and worry about five months before my son has to step foot in his new school. Just the other day my husband and I were reminded by a teacher at my son’s preschool that, “Kindergarten is the new first grade.” I’ve heard that before, but it’s starting to sink in: homework, tests, projects.

If you wait to prep yourself and your child for kindergarten right before the school year starts, you’ll be too late. Start now. That’s what I’ve been doing.

Here’s my short list to get started. For those parents who’ve already been through this rite of passage, what would you add?

Brush up on academics: For a five year old, that means everything from holding scissors the correct way to being able to write his or her name. The list can seem endless and will be different depending on whom you ask. Here’s one list that seems to cover a lot of the basics I know my son has been learning in his preschool class.

Refine those social skills: Can your child share? Take turns? Wait in line? Keep his hands to himself? You’ll save your child a world of hurt by working with him or her on social skills now. If your child is not in preschool, find opportunities to join a play group or go to a park regularly and encourage your child to play with others.

Register: Check your school district’s web site for information on what you need to register your child. (Here’s a link to Broward County schools' site.) Birth certificate, proof of residence, vaccination forms.

The other night while my husband and five-year-old son were playing Connect Four, I asked if I could play next. My son turned me down.

“No, Mom, I want to play with Dad because I want to win,” my son explained.

Apparently, I’m too competitive and don’t let my son win enough. Either that or my husband is a softie who is so worried about shattering my son’s self confidence that he over-compensates by allowing my son to believe that he is great at everything. We are probably both guilty.

But what about the value of practice? Learning that it takes hard work to achieve something? Realizing that life is filled with ups and downs?

Learning those life lessons are some of the reasons I enrolled my son in soccer and TBall. (And for more on this topic, read a great post from fellow blogger Brittany Wallman.) I’m not trying to groom a new David Bekham or Jose Canseco. (Sorry, those were the first two names that popped in my mind.) I just want a well adjusted, confident kid who doesn’t cry because he didn’t win or stops trying because it’s too hard.

My son came a long way during his first two seasons playing team sports. Sure, he danced with his shadow on the field during some of those night games and played with dirt while playing third base. But what he’s learning, even if he doesn’t realize it, is invaluable. Among them:

Learning to lose: It was tough watching my son’s disappointed face when he didn’t win that first “game ball.” (Only one is handed out after each game by the coach.) Or the second. Or the third…But when finally did, he treasured that ball above all else. And I have a feeling it will be a long-lasting memory for many years to come. Learning to lose makes winning so much sweeter.

Teaching good sportsmanship: My son is learning to cheer on his teammates. Their successes are his successes. Their disappointments are his disappointments. One of my favorite moments was when one of my son’s teammates wanted to quit playing in the middle of a soccer game because he didn’t think he was fast enough to get the ball. With no prodding from us, our son gently took him by the shoulders and told him: “You can do it. All you have to do is keep trying.”

Playing by the rules: As much as my son would like an extra turn at bat, he is realizing that there are rules even during playtime. If he played first base during the last inning, he needs to give another player a chance the next inning. If he doesn’t want to wear his baseball cap, he can’t go out on the field. And it helps him to see teammates following the rules – and taking note of the consequences for those who don’t.

Letting go is an inevitable step in the life of a parent. But it’s emotional and downright scary when that step comes all too early.

Many working parents dread the word daycare. I used to, when I first gave birth to my son five years ago. But thanks to an absolutely wonderful daycare/preschool that my son will be graduating from this year, I no longer loathe the word.

In fact, I enrolled my five-month-old daughter at the same school last month. There were no tears -- from her or me. (Babies take their cues from their parents. If you’re OK, chances are they’ll be OK.) I know my daughter is in good hands. And that peace of mind is worth every penny I spend on daycare. (And, yes, we’re talking LOTS of pennies.)

So for all of you parents out there who are contemplating daycare, here is my personal checklist (beyond the obvious) for what to consider:

Parent policy: Do they have an open-door policy for parents who want to stop by and visit? If the answer is anything less than, “Yes, absolutely, of course!” you should look elsewhere.

Nurturing: Checking the credentials of the staff and school, as well as the student-teacher ratio should be a given (which is why I didn’t think I needed to explicitly list it). What I’m talking about is that X factor that so often cannot be taught. Do the teachers genuinely love taking care of children? Or is this just a job? The only way to really gauge this is by visiting the place and observing the teachers yourself. I know my daughter’s teachers can never love my girl the way I do – but I want them to come very close.

Stimulating environment: Infant care is more than cribs and infant-care gadgets (like swings or bouncy seats). You want your child to be able to move around (or be moved around until they can do the moving themselves) in an environment that piques all of his or her developing senses. My baby is happiest when she’s observing or engaged in an activity. Ask your center if there’s a curriculum. Yes, even young children can benefit from one. And the most important no-no? The use of television in the classroom. TV is never a substitute for stimulating activity and doesn’t belong at daycare.

Cleaning policy: Good hygiene has always been high on my list. My son knows the first thing he does when he comes home (from anywhere) is wash his hands. When he was little, I made sure to clean his toys after a play date. I expect nothing less from my daycare. So ask about the classroom policy on cleaning toys and tables. In my daughter’s class, toys are cleaned three times a day. And objects that become chew toys for a little one immediately get set aside for cleaning. Another plus: You must remove your shoes before entering the room (or wear a pair of those disposable shoe covers).

My family celebrated a birthday last week. We cut a cake, blew out candles, and took a few pictures. We sang happy birthday.

The birthday boy? Our beagle. Or as my husband and I often refer to him -- our first child. My 5-year-old son has always proudly talked about his “brother.” It usually takes teachers a while to figure out his brother has spots, fur and four legs.

Some of my first memories as a child involve pets. (Rabbits, ducks, chickens, dogs) And I always knew I wanted my children to grow up respecting and appreciating animals. For parents, it’s often one of those key decisions: How? When? What?

Here are a few things to consider:

New baby: If you already have a pet (such as a dog), be sure to take steps even before the baby is born to introduce the change to the animal. My dog was three years old when my son was born. We knew there would be an adjustment period for a dog that had had our undivided attention for three years. So we took it slowly and used the nine months of my pregnancy to get our dog used to changes in his routine and surroundings. (Lots of areas in the house became off limits.) When the baby was born, my husband brought home a baby blanket from the hospital to allow our dog to sniff it.

Age-appropriate pets: The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty (ASPCA) to Animals recommends small pets, such as guinea pigs, for preschoolers (3-5 years old.). They like to be held, seldom bite and will whistle when excited or happy. Who wouldn’t like that? I guess this is why they tend to be common classroom pets too. Avoid reptiles, though, since kids this age are more susceptible to contracting salmonella because of poor hand-washing habits. Also if you do decide to get a dog after your children are born, be sure to pick a breed that has a reputation of being good around children. And it’s not about size. Chihuahuas, for example, can be very temperamental. Ditto for Lhasa Apsos. (I have a scar on my face to prove it.)

Pets as teachers: Pets can help teach children responsibility. Let your child learn to feed, bathe or care for the pet by cleaning out its cage or taking it for a walk. Having a pet like a dog or cat can also help your children learn to build trusting relationships and develop compassion and empathy.

My five-year-old son faces a lifetime of discrimination. Not racial, age or gender discrimination -- handedness discrimination. He’s a lefty and most of the world is a righty (including my husband and me).

In practical terms, what does that mean? It means my son has to adapt to unwitting coaches who assume he kicks or bats right. It means he has to adjust to desks and notebooks designed for right-handed students. It means I have to call seven sporting goods stores in order to find a right-hand glove for my son to play T-Ball.

It’s not fair, but I’m learning it’s not impossible. Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way:

Teach the value of being different. Let your child know that he/she is special and should speak up if a teacher or other assumes he is right-handed. Only about one in 10 people are left-handed. And a bit of trivia that could help boost your little one’s perspective: U.S. presidents are disproportionately left-handed. According to various sources, five of the last seven presidents (Obama, Clinton, Bush Sr., Reagan and Ford) have been left-handed.

Don’t push one hand over the other. Avoid placing an object directly in your child’s hand. Instead place the item (such as a crayon, for example) at the center and let your child choose with which hand to grab the object.

Develop fine-motor skills. For years, my son favored his left hand but constantly switched from left to right when writing or using scissors. (He’d write with his left hand on the left side of the page and then switch to the right hand for the right side of the page.) What happened? He fell behind in developing those fine-motor skills you need in order to write. Thankfully, his teachers gave my husband and I a list of activities that have helped tremendously, such as writing on a chalkboard mounted on a wall, grasping objects with tweezers or clothespins and playing certain games that promote dexterity. (Think Operation, Legos or Light Brite.)

It may not be all or nothing. Your left-handed child may prefer to do some things with his/her right hand. My son, for example, now prefers to hold scissors with his right hand. But he writes, kicks and throws with his left.

Whew. I did it. I have successfully returned to work after my maternity leave. Baby is in daycare; my 5 year old is in preschool; and I am back in the office feeling like I now work three jobs:

1) The hectic mornings: Involves getting baby and 5 year old dressed, fed, redressed (for the baby who inevitably dirties her outfit before I’m out the door), packing lunches/bottles, putting baby down for a cat nap (to help ward off complete exhaustion at daycare), and, lastly, getting dressed for work in an outfit that a) fits, b) doesn’t have spit-up on it, and c) can handle the wear-and-tear of juggling baby and preschooler.

2) At the office: I’ve always been organized and efficient. Having my son took me to another level. The birth of my daughter makes me feel like an air traffic controller on steroids. Not a minute of my time is wasted.

3) The busy evenings: Feed the baby, get dinner ready for the rest of the family (unfortunately, lots of takeout these last two weeks), bathe the kids, get them ready for bed. Then comes “me” time, which involves relaxing while I’m sterilizing bottles, washing dishes and prepping for the next morning. I’m also responding to e-mails and putting out fires for my job that truly is 24-7.

So how did I survive the transition?

I could probably come up with an endless list of tips for returning to work after maternity leave. Here are the ones at the top of my list:

Continue reading "Returning to work after maternity leave" »

Every mother has what I call a Mommy DNA –comprised of past experiences that shape who you are as a parent.

I was reminded of mine last week, when I spoke with the family of my childhood friend Shannon Melendi. Her parents, sister and U.S. Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen launched a petition drive to keep Shannon’s confessed killer, Colvin C. “Butch” Hinton, III, behind bars when he comes up for parole. (You can sign the petition here.)

Shannon’s kidnap and murder are never far from my mind as I raise my two children. If it could happen to a smart, independent 19 year old on a Saturday afternoon at a busy softball park in suburban Atlanta, it could happen to anyone.

I live with that reality. And that makes me different than a lot of parents who go through life thinking such cruelty only happens to “other” people.

My Mommy DNA makes me a protective mom. Some might call me overprotective. When I take my son to the park, I don’t just plant myself on a bench and engage in conversation with other moms. I move around to keep my son in sight. When he’s older and asks to spend the night at a friend’s house, I’ll say no. When we have a quiet moment, every once in a while, I fill the silence by asking him what he would do if someone he didn’t know asked him to get into a car.

No matter your Mommy DNA, you can take three simple steps that can go a long way in keeping your children safe.

Make sure you carry a recent photo of your child. That will help authorities should your child go missing. Even better, store it on your phone. Also, have your child fingerprinted and keep the card in a safe place.

Locate sex offenders near your home and kid’s school. There is a lot of information out there. Why not arm yourself with it? Two sites that I’d recommend: The Florida Department of Law Enforcement (FDLE) “offenders” site and familywatchdog.us.

Talk to your kids about staying safe. Make sure it’s age appropriate. For younger kids, role playing helps. For older kids, it’s about keeping an open line of communication. Start early so that they grow comfortable talking to you about their day at school and friends.

Expect the unexpected when you’re expecting.

That’s my new motto, after giving birth to my second child last month. I had spent much of my pregnancy free of the worries and concerns that marked my first pregnancy. Been there, done that, I thought.

Little did I know there were some curveballs waiting for me this time. Here are a few that took me by surprise, things all expectant moms should keep in mind – even pregnancy veterans.

Check up on your doctors. I blogged just before giving birth that my doctor’s office informed me at the last minute that there was a real possibility that my doctor may not deliver my baby and that the only way to guarantee it would be to schedule a C-section. (She didn’t deliver my baby.)

I didn’t think I’d also be in for a surprise with my pediatrician. About a week before giving birth, I called my pediatrician (my son’s doctor) to let him know that my due date was quickly approaching. That’s when I was told that his medical group was not contracted with the hospital where I was giving birth. What? So who would examine my newborn baby at the hospital? Who would perform the circumcision if I had a boy? (I had a girl.)

In the end, it was the pediatrician on duty at the hospital who checked on my new baby girl. And it may have been for the best (see my second point). But it’s best to sort out these questions well before your due date to avoid a mini-breakdown (like I had) when your hormones are all out of control.

Bones break. I made it through my five-hour labor; held my new baby daughter; heard her first cry. It wasn’t until hours later when one of the nurses whisked away my little girl for yet another battery of routine tests that they returned with the shocking news: My daughter’s right clavicle broke during birth. (Thanks to the neonatal specialist who stood in for my pediatrician for discovering the break, which can go undetected in many newborns.) The doctors chalked it up to her being a big baby. No one looked worried. They seemed more concerned with how I would take the news.

I’m just glad this was my second child, not first. I’ve learned the hard way how resilient babies and children can be. I asked what I needed to do. They said, “Nothing.” Nothing? That’s right. The bone would heal itself and within 3-4 weeks she’d have full range of motion in that arm. I didn’t really believe it. But now, at five weeks old, my daughter is stretching both of her arms up high and pulling my hair so hard it makes me want to cry (literally).

Pay up. Babies are expensive. In all, I’ve paid a total of 8 bills related to my daughter’s birth. Just the birth, not the check-ups that came before or since. Before I left the hospital, I called my healthcare company to make sure it added my daughter to my plan.

As is standard, two days after leaving the hospital, I brought my daughter to my pediatrician for a check-up. After countless conversations and several phone calls, I had to pay out-of-pocket for the visit because my daughter was not yet showing up on my insurance plan. I’m still waiting to get reimbursed. Lesson here: Set aside some money for unexpected bills.

I couldn’t believe it when I heard it: An office assistant in my doctor’s office told me over the phone that the only way I could guarantee that my doctor would deliver my baby is if I had a scheduled caesarean section. Otherwise, I’d be subject to whoever was on call. Maybe my doctor; maybe not.

Hmm…And people wonder why C-sections are at an all-time high nationally and in Florida?

After the initial shock, I got mad. I’m not opposed to having a C-section – if I actually medically require one. In fact, I almost had an emergency C-section five years ago during labor with my son. I was carted away as nurses walked while dressing my husband in scrubs. My doctor zoomed into the operating room and in one swift movement someone handed him a scalpel. When he realized I hadn’t had an epidural, he decided to re-check the baby’s vital signs. They were up. He stopped and told me that I could have one more chance to deliver naturally. If the vitals dropped one more time, he would operate. I trusted him, and I gave birth within the hour.

Little did I know that my doctor’s decision – and the choice he gave me – few other doctors would make. Recent state figures show that 43 percent of births in Broward County and 41 percent in Palm Beach County were done by C-section in the year ended June 30, 2008. That’s far above the national average of 31.8 percent and greater than the state average of 39 percent.

Experts attribute the rise to fears of malpractice lawsuits, a rise in diabetes and obesity in pregnant women (which may lead to having bigger babies) and the medical belief that once a woman has a C-section, all subsequent births should be delivered via C-section.

Some things expectant moms should consider and discuss with their doctor should the word “C-section” come up during a visit:

Contrary to popular belief, C-sections actually cause more complications and side effects for the mother and baby than do natural births, according to researchers. And don’t forget: Recovery time after delivery is longer for C-sections.

The cost of a C-section is typically twice as much as a natural birth because it is a surgical procedure and requires a longer hospital stay.

The vast majority of women in Florida who deliver a baby via caesarean will likely deliver future babies through C-section. That’s because it’s rare to find doctors who will perform “vaginal birth after caesarean.”

You’d think parenting and Guns N' Roses don’t go together. But when I think about raising my soon-to-be five-year-old son and soon starting over with a newborn, I can’t seem to get the chorus of one of the ‘80s band’s songs out of my head: “All you need is just a little patience…” Queue the whistling…

Before my son was born, I knew I’d need help in the patience department. I’m naturally impatient. So in the words of a wise blue dog preschoolers love, I learned to “stop, breathe and think.” (Thanks, Blue's Clues.)

Some parents have a different mantra: “stop, threaten and spank.” My parents spanked – well, mostly threatened to spank. Just one sting of my dad’s slipper was enough to remind my siblings and me that we should listen to our parents before they walked to the closet. There’s endless debate about the effects (or lack thereof) of spanking. Here is one more to consider. I don’t put too much stock in these studies because there are so many other variables to consider, which a study’s author typically concedes.

My husband and I made the conscience decision not to spank. But what to do instead? What’s more effective?

I took a six-week class at the Mailman Segal Institute at Nova Southeastern University when my son was two years old. Called the STEP program (Systematic Training for Effective Parenting) for children under six, the course gave me a lot to think about. Mainly: Discipline and punishment are NOT the same thing. You want to correct bad behavior, not a bad child. And knowing the difference can not only relieve your stress level but also help foster self esteem in your child.

Here are a few of the key takeaways when a child is misbehaving:

Distract: If your toddler insists on playing with that fragile vase sitting in your living room, grab a toy and direct him to another corner of the room. Do it calmly and without making a big fuss.

Ignore: When my son yells across a room to ask me for some cheese and crackers, I don’t respond. It might take a few times, but he eventually understands and will walk up to me and ask politely, even adding a “please” for good form. Obviously, if your kid is about to run into a busy street, ignoring the behavior is NOT an option. Use common sense.

Set routines: Children need limits. It helps them learn what to expect. Make a routine for the morning, mealtimes and bedtime. Doing so can save you quite a few battles and headaches in the long run.

Give choices: Control the situation, not the child. This is particularly important for older toddlers or preschoolers, who want to feel some control. When my son interrupts me while I’m on the phone, I let him know he can stay and play quietly or leave the room. His choice. When he insisted tonight that he didn’t want me to comb his hair in the morning, I explained to him that I could leave the knots in his hair or gently smooth them out. His choice. (He ultimately didn’t like the idea of going to school with knots in his hair.)

Fresh on newstands today is Children’s Health magazine’s ranking of “The 100 Best (and Worst) Places to Raise a Family.” Just skip right to the bottom of the list and there we are. Representing Florida, in all its glory: Miami, #99 (just ahead of dead-last Detroit, Michigan); Orlando, #98; and Tampa, #94.

As a native Miamian who moved from San Jose, Calif. (#39) back to South Florida after starting my family a few years ago, I’m upset. Yes, I know the analysis of FBI, U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and other expert sources researched more than 30 factors parents consider important, such as crime and safety, education and health. But stats alone don’t tell the story of a place as vibrant, unique and culturally rich as Miami.

I was born and raised in the greater-Miami area, the daughter of Cuban immigrants, a product of the public school system, a graduate of its public university. While I now live 40 minutes north in Broward County, my parents, siblings (and their kids) and extended family still live in Miami. My son knows the city well, since we make the drive down the Turnpike almost every weekend.

"We know not every city is bad from A to Z," said Joel Weber, one of the authors of the study, who explained that Miami's high violent crime rate, high number of sex offenders and high number of missing children per capita contributed to the city's poor ranking. "Every city has its charm."

In that spirit, here is my list in favor of raising your family in Miami:

Diversity: It’s not until I moved across the country that I came to appreciate Miami’s cultural diversity. (At least during my time in the Golden State, Californians had a very skewed sense of race and demographics.) In Miami and South Florida, in general, you can come into contact with different parts of the world just by the people you meet, the places where you worship, the places where you eat. The schools, while far from perfect on a number of levels, force you to mingle with others not like you. I want my son to appreciate that as much as I have.

Big lights, big city: If New York is the city that doesn’t sleep, Miami is its sexy cousin. And while nightlife is certainly not on the top of the priority list for many parents when it comes to raising kids, having easy access to a variety of cultural activities to broaden the minds of young ones is a must. In Miami and South Florida, you’ve got plenty of museums, concert venues, arts festivals – and they’re bigger and better than in many cities across the country.

The beaches: I will never forget my summer internship in Boston when I met a fellow intern from Denver who, at 20 years old, had never seen the ocean. (In all fairness, I had never seen snow at that point.) The ocean breeze, the sand in between your toes, the seashells. Like so many who grow up in South Florida, I took it all for granted. No more. Once I had my son, I promised myself I would give him the same wonderful childhood memories I had at the beach. He loves it, and I love watching him play in the crashing waves.

So speak up: What are your reasons for raising your family in South Florida?

When it comes to pregnancy, everyone is an expert. All you need to qualify is to have successfully survived the first year of a baby’s life. (Some might say first few months.) The flurry of information from family, friends and co-workers can make a mom-to-be downright dizzy.

And then there are the books: I spent my first pregnancy reading what amounted to a small library collection of parenting guides. Fortunately, the second time around, I’m just skimming the ones that actually worked.

So let me save you some time. If you’re expecting your first baby or you know someone who is, make sure they pick up "The Happiest Baby on the Block,” by Harvey Karp, M.D. It’s a quick, entertaining read. But here is the big takeaway: Swaddle, Side, Shushing, Swinging, Sucking. You execute those 5 “S’s” in combination, and your little crying machine will learn the joys of serenity.

Swaddle: When my son was born, I became a master swaddler. For the first 3-4 months of his life, I wrapped him tighter than a burrito when it came time for rest. He didn’t like it at first. But persistence pays off. So does the right technique. What worked best for me was using a large, square blanket made of stretchy, waffle-like cloth. Dr. Karp walks you step-by-step in the book on how to fold and wrap.

Side/stomach: When it comes to holding your baby, the side or stomach position can be most comforting to the baby. Many unsuspecting parents hold their baby on its back.

Shhh: I remember searching Sears for the “loudest” air cleaner in stock. The salesperson helping me thought I was kidding. Improved technology over the years has resulted in ever-quieter machines. I wanted a white noise machine that also served a greater purpose, though any kind of white noise could work (think loud static on the radio).

Swinging: Be it in your arms or in a baby swing, make sure your swinging is “vigorous,” according to Dr. Karp.

Sucking: Some parents are adamant against using pacifiers. My son found it hugely comforting. I quickly weaned him off it during waking hours and made it purely a sleeping aide. During the first three months, I actually removed it from his mouth as I lay him in his bassinet or crib. (Didn’t want him dropping it until he knew how to put it back in his mouth.)

Tell us: So what book or technique worked best for you?

We know we are flawed as parents. It’s a universal truth you learn to accept very early on after the birth of your child.

So what happens when you argue in front of your kids? Are you scarring them for life? Or teaching them how to handle conflict? (Click here to read an earlier post from a fellow blogger.)

Apparently, it’s all about how you argue that makes the difference, according to a recent study by researchers at the University of Rochester. The study, published in the Journal of Child Psychiatry earlier this year, suggests that children might actually benefit from watching their parents resolve arguments.

The key is determining whether your argument style is constructive or destructive. Researchers who studied 235 families with children ages 5 to 7 said destructive conflict includes things like name-calling, cursing, physical aggression, crying and “the silent treatment.” Historically, studies have shown that such behavior can make children depressed, withdrawn or aggressive. On the other hand, the University of Rochester study showed that children whose parents argue in a manner that is not demeaning or nasty tend to be friendly to other kids, show more empathy when others are upset and express concern for others.

I wondered about this over the weekend when my parents argued in front of the grandkids. (For once, my husband and I weren’t the guilty ones.) The argument was heated on both sides, unusual in that my mother normally retreats to simmer in silence. My sister and I did our best to keep the kids away, though at ages 6 and 4, they had a pretty good idea of what was going on.

Here are some tips on how to communicate and argue effectively, according to family relations experts at the University of Minnesota:

- Decide on a code word for when things get stressful in front of the children. If you feel tensions rising say the code word so you can stop and discuss the problem in private later.

- Never involve children in arguments. It is extremely unfair and upsetting for children to feel that they are forced to take sides against one parent, no matter how strongly you feel that your spouse or partner is wrong.

- Let them see you make up. Apologize to one another and then sit down and explain to your children how even Mommy and Daddy sometimes make mistakes.

- Consider counseling: If arguing becomes a regular habit, talk to a counselor to learn better ways to communicate.

There is a reason babies are irresistibly cute. It’s nature’s way of keeping parents (and potential parents) from thinking about how much it actually costs to raise a kid from birth to adulthood.

I took a spin through Baby Center’s “Cost of Raising Your Child Calculator” and learned that raising my five-year-old son will cost me well over $200,000 by the time he turns 17. And this is a conservative outlook: It estimates childcare/education costs at a little more than $2,000 a year. I could only wish good childcare was that kind of a bargain.

Baby No. 2 will cost me almost $12,000 in the first year alone. And that’s not including what the Baby Center calls “one-time costs,” such as bouncy seat, high chair, crib, etc. I am forever grateful that my husband and I decided to store all of my son’s baby equipment rather than get rid of it. According to a recent Time article, parents with only one child spend 25% more per child than those with two children. The power of hand-me-downs.

So with that in mind, here are my top three ways to save money. What are yours?

Consider a childcare flex account: These are typically offered by employers and they allow you to set aside up to $5,000 before taxes for dependent care costs. You can then use the money to pay for at-home care (like a nanny or babysitter) and for outside care like daycare. One thing to keep in mind: Be careful how much money you set aside for the flex account because you stand to lose any remaining money that you fail to use during the calendar year.

Get a library card: I wish I would have done this sooner with my son. Not only can you get countless books that your child can select for himself, but libraries also have DVDs for rent. Making a trip to our nearest branch is now a special event – and often comes at the request of my son. Just be careful with those late fees. They can add up! (I learned this the hard way with the DVDs.)

Open a 529 savings account: It’s never too early to start saving for college. The longer you wait to save, the more it’ll cost you in the long run. With a 529 plan, you set aside money for your child’s education and watch it grow tax-free. Unlike pre-paid tuition plans, you can use it at any accredited college or university in the country.

As if hurricanes aren’t stressful enough, it seems the last thing you’d want to do is sleep under a desk in a crowded hospital to wait out the storm.

That’s what my very pregnant friend had to do as Hurricane Wilma bore down on South Florida in 2005. Doctor’s orders. (The hospital; not the sleep-under-the-desk part.)

I am now in my 34th week of pregnancy, at the height of hurricane season. South Florida dodged a Category 4 bullet this week with Hurricane Bill. But it got me thinking. (It doesn’t take much; I thrive on worrying.) Why and when do pregnant women become a concern during a hurricane?

There is widespread debate about whether a rapid and steep drop in barometric pressure -- the weight of the atmosphere pushing on the surface of the Earth -- can induce labor in women who are at or near term. The lower the barometric pressure, the more intense the storm. And, according to several local hospital accounts in past years, the higher the number of deliveries. Broward General Medical Center received 17 babies in a 24-hour period during Hurricane Frances. Holy Cross Hospital delivered 21 babies in one day.

Official studies are inconclusive. But, in my humble arm-chair estimation, I can see how there’d be some kind of effect with such a dramatic change in pressure. Right now, I feel like I’m headed for the delivery room every time I stand up quickly after sitting down for a long period of time.

In any case, if you’re pregnant, here are some things to keep in mind before and immediately after a hurricane:

- Talk to your doctor well in advance about what precautions you should take. I called my doctor’s office this week, and they faxed me a notice from my hospital stating that pregnant women who are considered high risk or are within 1-2 weeks of their due dates are encouraged to sit out an approaching hurricane in the hospital lobby. The main concern is that you avoid having to travel during a storm if you go into labor. Hospitals usually don’t allow spouses and others to stay during a storm.

- Careful what you drink. Everyone needs to be mindful of boil-water advisories that tend to pop up following big storms. But pregnant women, in particular, are at greater risk of complications if they get sick, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Better just to stick with bottled water.

- Carbon monoxide poisoning. The CDC, in its advisory on hurricanes and pregnant women, warns moms-to-be of steering clear of generators, kerosene heaters or camp stoves indoors. Those pieces of equipment should not be used in a closed space. The colorless, odorless gas is toxic for anyone. And it can poison both you and your baby.

In less than seven weeks – or thereabouts – my life will change dramatically as my husband and I welcome baby No. 2 into the world. The change, though, may be more dramatic for my almost five-year-old son, who has only known life as an only child.

He has been plenty excited about the upcoming event: He already treats my bulging belly as if it’s a full member of the family. He kisses it goodnight, shows it off to his friends as if it’s a new toy and suggests watching funny cartoons to make the baby inside giggle. He also is doing something he has struggled with as an only child – sharing. Already, he is willingly (and without prodding from mom or dad) setting aside some of his “baby” toys that he thinks his brother or sister will like and that he has outgrown.

As much as I love being pregnant, I’ve loved even more watching my son morph into the role of big brother. It’s a life-changing transition that has deeper effects than I have considered. According to a recent US News & World Report article, siblings impact our lives in ways good and bad – and far more than most people give them credit for.

Here are a few highlights:

THE GOOD

Help us deal with our peers: All of that sibling rivalry that moms and dads instinctively want to squelch may actually serve a purpose, according to experts. It can help kids learn how to interact with friends and how to resolve conflict. Millions of thanks, then, to my older sister and brother for molding me into a well-adjusted adult.

Stress relief: It’s great to have someone who can truly understand what you’re facing at home: Overbearing mom, angry dad, divorce, illness, whatever the case may be. My siblings and I are immediately on the phone with one another as soon as a new health concern arises with my aging parents. I don’t remember us all being so close and on the same page early in life, but it’s nice to know our shared childhood greased the wheels for later in life.

They make us more hip: This is particularly true for younger siblings, who benefit from the experience of an older brother or sister. My taste in music – and knowledge of lots of different genres – is definitely a byproduct of my brother and sister. Long before I learned my math tables, I could name members of rock bands most kids my age hadn’t yet even heard of. My husband, the youngest of seven, also has a unique appreciation of oldies music that dominated radio long before he was born.

THE BAD

Modeling bad behavior: Bad habits or choices can be passed down to younger siblings: Drinking, smoking, early pregnancy, etc. On the other hand….

Make us want to be different from them: This could be good if the behavior mentioned above is what you’re trying to get away from. But it’s not so great when it stems from mere competition with your sibling: Your sister is the brainiac, so you decide to let your grades slack. Experts say it’s a greater issue for siblings close in age, where competition is more fierce.

What do you say? How have siblings affected your lives or your children?

Warning: What you are about to read may gross you out. No, let me rephrase that: It will gross you out.

I nearly lost my lunch the other day when I read a first-person Time magazine article about a new mother’s pursuit to eat her own placenta to ward off the possibility of post-partum depression. Yes: Eat. Her. Own. Placenta. (Those with strong stomachs can read the article here. Those with REALLY strong stomachs can watch the video of the “placenta cooking lady” here.)

So it got me thinking, as I head into the final stretch of my second pregnancy: Would I eat my own placenta?

This week during a routine check-up, I decided to ask my doctor about the practice, officially referred to as placentophagy. I worked up my nerve at the very end of my appointment. My doctor was about to stand up when she heard my question, then sat back down:

Continue reading "Fight the baby blues without eating your own placenta" »

My post last week about sexual predators and the series of arrests at several major Florida water parks in the past month sparked some good discussion. Quite a few of you mentioned Adam Walsh and how his disappearance and murder in 1981 changed your perspective on the world and is now shaping you as parents.

My seminal moment came in 1994, when my childhood friend, Shannon Melendi, disappeared from a softball field in Atlanta on a Saturday afternoon. She was an Emory University sophomore, 19 years old, wise beyond her years and the daughter of smart, loving parents. Twelve years later, the man long suspected of abducting and murdering Shannon confessed in horrifying detail to the macabre crime.

That’s my story. That’s why I shift in my seat every time my four-year-old son moves out of view on a playground. It’s why I ignore small talk with other parents at a birthday party at a local water park in order to carefully track my son’s whereabouts.

But a parent’s vigilance can only go so far. Talking to your children about personal safety needs to happen early and often, well through the teen years. How to do it can be tricky. Here are a few tips I’ve culled from personal experience and reliable sources, such as the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Continue reading "Talk to kids about safety early and often" »

There seems to be a new haven for sexual predators: Water theme parks. In the past month, police have arrested five men on charges of molestation at an Orlando-area water park.

The men, some local and some out-of-towners, have fondled young girls and boys at places such as Disney’s Typhoon Lagoon, Universal’s Wet ‘n Wild and Sea World’s Aquatica water park. The latest incident involved the arrest of a man late Thursday who inappropriately touched a 13-year-old boy while in the wave pool at Typhoon Lagoon. According to investigators, the man admitted to touching young boys in the wave pool as an “experiment.”

As a parent, this news has to make you rethink how to handle these public places. My son is four years old and won’t ever be far from me at a water park. But I have quietly panicked when I momentarily have lost sight of him while he goes down one of the dozen kiddy slides at Paradise Cove at C.B. Smith Park in Pembroke Pines.

Where do you draw the line between freedom and overprotection with your kids?

I’m not much of a hypochondriac. But the latest cases of swine (H1N1) flu involving pregnant women has me wanting to spend the rest of my pregnancy inside a bubble, free of germs.

The first reported Swine Flu death in Palm Beach County last week was a 25-year-old pregnant woman, whose newborn survived. The state’s health department is awaiting official results on another pregnant woman, 27 years old and 26 weeks pregnant, from Wellington who now lies in a medically induced coma to help fight off the illness.

What gives? Hard to say if the women had any pre-existing health issues prior to contracting the flu. But it’s hard to miss what they certainly have in common.

So what’s a pregnant woman to do?

My 4-year-old son’s pre-school has twice in recent weeks sent home notices about Type A flu, including one confirming that a child at the school was positively diagnosed. State epidemiologists are saying that chances are on the high side that those coming down with the flu likely involve the H1N1 strain. That’s because it’s rare to see so many cases during summertime. And to be clear: Most patients recover.

But my bulging belly has me worried if: 1) I’m more at risk and 2) whether I can do anything to fight it if I do become ill. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), pregnant women can develop more serious complications from the illness because of changes in their heart, lungs and immune systems during gestation. The World Health Organization on Monday announced that a Swine Flu vaccine wouldn't be ready for wide distribution until the end of the year.

Here are some steps you should take if you or someone you know is pregnant and worried about contracting swine flu:

Continue reading "Pregnant women at risk for swine flu" »

My 4-year-old son and I have a common exchange when I give him the one-minute warning.

“You’ve got one more minute, and then it’s time to (eat dinner, get out of the pool, go to bed, etc.)” I tell him.

“Is a minute a long time?” my son asks with complete sincerity.

“It’s 60 seconds,” I tell him.

“Oh, cool. Thanks, Mom.”

He’s happy. I’m happy. And, best of all, I didn’t have to lie.

According to a recent Redbook survey, 84 percent of the magazine’s readers said they lie to their kids about once a month. But they’re not proud of it: 76 percent said they feel guilty about telling their child a lie.

As much as I try to avoid lying to my son, I too have been guilty. When the time came to wean him off a pacifier, I concocted the perfect plan: Upon our return from a trip to California to visit Grandpa, I told him we had accidentally left them behind. I got the queue from my Mom, who 30 years earlier turned me off to pacifiers by telling me we lost them outside and then “found” them, dripping in mud. Disgusted, I gave those suckers up cold turkey that night.

Childhood experts seem to agree that, generally speaking, white lies parents tell their kids don’t scar them for life. In fact, those tall tales we tell our kids to foster belief in the Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus, for example, can actually fuel their imagination.

But resorting to lying on a regular basis is not the way to build trust between you and your child and could create a sticky situation if you’re caught in the act. Many kids usually learn to lie by age 3, and most learn by copying Mom and Dad. Best to nip that habit in the bud; otherwise, you might end up with a teenager who thinks lying is perfectly OK.

Here are a few tips from my arsenal of trying to avoid lying to my son:

Explain yourself. Instead of trying to convince your child that the M&Ms are old or rotten, tell him that eating too many of them is not healthy. They don’t make you strong the way fruits and vegetables do.

Of course, it’s important to know your audience and understand what your child is developmentally ready to handle. When my husband and I told our son that I was pregnant and expecting Baby No. 2 one evening, he woke up the next morning with lots of questions.

“Is your belly going to get bigger and bigger and then will pop so the baby can come out?” he asked.

“No, my belly won’t pop,” I assured him.

“Will the baby come out of your mouth?” he followed up.

“Don’t worry. The baby is going to grow in my belly, and when it’s time, it’ll come out,” I answered, as I walked toward his playroom to find some great new toy to take his mind off the topic.

Which brings me to my second point:

When in doubt, distract. When you’re heading to the checkout counter and you want to avoid your child spotting that must-have candy, give her the opportunity to swipe your credit card in the machine. Even better, let her press the buttons! Chances are she won’t even notice those M&Ms sitting there.

It’s OK to say you don’t want to talk about something. Remember, you set the rules. The same way you can and should put a stop to your child eating too much cake, you can stop a conversation nicely and directly.

The time has come. I am about to become a Soccer Mom (minus the mini-van). My husband and I are planning to enroll our son in his first sports league. We figure soccer is a good start for an energetic kid who collects so many bruises and scrapes running around that his teacher has coined him “Boo-Boo Boy.” Might as well give him a good excuse!

But I’d be lying if I said we weren’t proceeding with caution. Figuring out the right time to start, balancing the practice schedule with daily life, and deciding – if it comes to that – when is it OK to quit is enough to send any parent running for the bench.

And let’s not forget those diehard parents who make heckling at a ref at their kid’s Little League game a sport. As I see it, parents fall into one of two categories: Those who want to enroll Little Johnny in a sport for his personal development. (Think learning cooperation, teamwork, responsibility.) Or those that are hoping to groom a star college athlete or Olympian. (Think multiple travel teams, intense pressure, little free time.)

My husband and I definitely fall into the first camp. And we both played competitive sports as children. So we’re no couch potatoes.

There’s a lot to consider before taking the plunge. Here are a few points I’ve found important. Would love to hear some of yours:

Continue reading "You're out! Find the right time for a child to start a sport" »

My 4-year-old son is about to get his own iPhone. When Dad upgrades his phone, he has decided to pass down the old one to our pre-schooler (sans the SIM card).

I thought the idea a bit strange at first, but I’ve come around. My son became an iPhone whiz before his third birthday. He knows his way around the apps, the videos and even the camera, teaching my husband and me a few things along the way (like how to get a screen grab from the phone).

As far as debates between my tech-junky husband and me go, the what-to-do-with-the-old-iPhone one was pretty easy. We’ve butted heads before on the issue of wiring our kid.

How much is too much too soon?

Here are a few of the tech debates we’ve had in the Vasquez household. Would love to hear some of yours:

TV in the bedroom. Just say no. Really. What child who has spent more than half of his life in diapers needs a TV in the bedroom? My husband thought it’d be a great idea. In addition to the common sense argument, I have legions of pediatric professionals on my side. As it is, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends children under the age of two watch no TV. And those older than two watch no more than one or two hours of quality programming. Granted, they are tough guidelines to abide by. (I loved those Baby Einstein videos when my son was a toddler.) But a TV in the bedroom at this age is like walking off a cliff. Our compromise? We put a TV in my son’s playroom, which, frankly, doesn’t get a fraction of the use as the one we all watch together in the family room.

Video games. I am a huge fan of educational gadgets like those made by Leapster. My son has a Leapster L-Max handheld video game player that is teaching him math, writing and problem solving. I’m convinced the player (and its stylus pen) is the reason he can now write numbers that actually look like real numbers. He is now fascinated by addition and subtraction. He also has a Smart Cycle by Fisher Price that incorporates peddling a bicycle with educational games. I think it helped encourage him to practice riding the real thing.

I’m less enthused about game players like Playstation and the Wii. Yes, they’re very cool. And I fully expect that at some point down the road, my son will start playing them. But right now? I’d rather he go swimming in the pool or play with friends outside. And my son is not all that interested. My husband tried to get him to play a Lego Star Wars game on an old Playstation 2 console. It’s sitting gathering dust.

Computer. It’s inevitable that your child will show a growing interest in working on a computer. Getting children to understand how computers function is more a necessity than a luxury. My six-year-old niece who is in kindergarten already gets homework assignments via e-mail and the Internet. So the question here is really: When? When do you start making it a regular habit? When do you buy your kids (if you can afford it) their own computer?

My husband and I are still wrestling with this one. There are some great educational websites that we allow our son to check out on our computer with our supervision. A recent favorite is colorwithleo.com, which has all sorts of geometric games, puzzles and art-driven activities designed to bring out the Leonardo da Vinci in young children.

My husband is already talking about getting my son his own laptop. But I’m thinking: Let’s first buy him a bicycle with training wheels. Am I wrong?

It’s wedding week at SouthFlorida.com/LIVE, and it got me thinking…

There are seminal moments in a young couple’s life: There’s the day you meet, the day you move in together, the day you get married (which can coincide with No. 2), and the day you become parents.

Each one is both blissful and stressful. Perhaps none more than becoming Mom and Dad. If you’re smart, you’ve talked about family planning before you walk down the aisle. And if you’re really smart, you keep talking about it long after the honeymoon.

It’s not as simple as knowing whether or not you both want kids one day. That’d be way too easy. Life is much more complicated than that. So here’s my list of questions any couple on the cusp of marriage should be asking each other. I encourage readers of this blog to add ones I may have missed.

How many? My husband and I quickly settled on two. We both have siblings and couldn’t imagine having an only child. Three kids and we’d be out numbered. Not to mention broke. My sister is now a working mom of three. My brother-in-law jokes about having a fourth. She doesn’t think it’s funny. She’s plenty happy with a party of five.

Where will you live? Before I got married, I knew I wanted to own a home before a little one arrived. Not only that, I knew I’d want to eventually move back to live close to my family in Miami. My husband, a California native who really loved our seven years living in the Golden State, definitely would have been in for an unpleasant surprise if I kept either of those two expectations to myself.

What if you can’t conceive? Admittedly, this one didn’t come up for us until after we had our first child. We just assumed we’d have two kids. Little did we think Mother Nature may not work in our favor exactly when we had planned. Two miscarriages and more than a year of trying, we finally decided we were blessed with one child and grew at peace with our new reality. No fertility treatments. No adoption. A few weeks later, we learned we were pregnant with Baby No. 2, who is due this fall.

Keep the faith? We’re still wrestling with this one. My husband was raised Catholic. I am Methodist. We both quickly decided to baptize our son but knew we didn’t want parochial school. Now we’re torn about Sunday school. What church? What faith? We’ve put it off long enough.

How will you deal with change? You can plan until your face turns blue. More important than any answer to my questions above is coming to an understanding that things could change. You may want that home with a white picket fence but can’t afford more than your two-bedroom rental. You may vow against fertility treatments but later realize you couldn’t live with yourself without trying every possible solution.

Just keep talking, and you’ll figure it out.

Getting on an airplane with small children can strike fear into the hearts of parents. (And, yes, fellow passengers.)

I know the feeling too well. My four-year-old son has made cross-country flights on an annual basis since he was born.

Before he (I) blew out the candle on his first birthday cake, he had already racked up considerable mileage by flying San Francisco-to-Miami three times. As if traveling with a two-month-old wasn’t challenging enough for our inaugural flight, my husband and I decided to bring our beloved beagle along (inside the cabin). By the time we reached the departure gate, we were breaking a sweat, thanks to the Olympic maneuvers required to get through security while juggling baby, car seat, stroller, carry-on bags and doggy carrier. And then we had a five-hour flight to endure. I’m tired just thinking about it.

But we survived. And so can you. As your little one gets older, the challenges will change, and you’ll need to adjust. With the summer travel season now officially underway, here are a few tips to keep air travel stress free:

Buy a seat for the baby. Sure, right now you think saving the money and having baby sit on your lap for the entire flight is a grand idea. Chances are it won’t be comfortable for either of you. And if it’s a long flight, it’s a recipe for disaster. You can no longer count on having an open seat next to you. Airlines are packing their planes while offering fewer flights. Extra tip: Ask the airline if they have discounted airfare for infants. Most do.

Choose a direct flight. Even if it means leaving from an alternate airport or it costs a little more. Just picture yourself bobbing through a crowded airport (with a child who is tired, cranky, hungry or in need of a diaper change) trying to make a connecting flight. It isn’t pretty.

Consider sitting at the back of the plane. If you have a toddler or pre-schooler who can’t sit still for long, you’ll want some space. Usually, the seats at the back of the plane are situated near the flight attendant station, which can provide a little bit of walking space without disturbing the majority of passengers. Extra tip: You’ll also be closer to the bathroom.

Do not underestimate the power of distraction. DVD player? Toys? Books? Lunch box filled with goodies? Pack all of the above. I also bring one new toy as a surprise present that I break out if all else fails.

Make nice with fellow passengers. This one comes from a former colleague of mine who proudly told my husband and me of a peace offering he made with surrounding passengers on his first flight with the baby to his native Argentina. As everyone settled into their seats, he and his wife passed out ear plugs. They also bought a round of drinks for those closest to them.

So tell me: What’s your plan for traveling with kids this summer?

Two years ago, in this very space, I wrote about how my husband and I were worlds apart when it came to parenting styles.

We’re now two years wiser, our son two years older (4+), and guess what? We’re still exactly where we were two years ago. The scenarios are slightly different, but our roles remain the same: He’s still the “fun” parent. I’m the rule maker.

One key change? I’ve learned to embrace our differences. (Do not interpret that to mean that I don’t get annoyed with the differences. I’ve just learned to accept them, like the stack of dirty dishes sitting in my kitchen sink right now while said husband snoozes on the couch after promising to wash them.)

Acceptance is liberating. But so is realizing that – as much as you’d hate to admit it – Dad’s approach may actually work. A story I read recently reminded me of that. Here are the big takeaways for me:

Thou shalt accept allowing your kids to take risks: Dads tend to be more at ease with letting their children get banged around a bit. That scraped knee may be painful now, but Dad is betting next time Little Danny won’t climb the playground with two toys in hand. My tendency? Tell Danny to put down the toys before he starts climbing.

Thou shalt accept that less-than-perfect is OK: So what if Dad dresses Danny in an outfit even a colorblind person wouldn’t put together? And will my son even notice that his shirt is on backwards? It’s not the end of the world. The time Mom spends correcting Dad’s behavior could probably be better spent just enjoying the moment with the family.

Thou shalt accept that acting like a kid has its benefits: My husband has mastered the art of distraction. My son won’t jump in the bathtub? Dad pretends to start taking off his own clothes and runs to the bathroom to beat my son to it. My son doesn’t want to go to bed? Dad secretly steals a few of his toys and mysteriously places them in the hallway leading to his bedroom. Both work like a charm. And if I tried either, my son would see right through it. Dad has the magic touch.

What’s your parenting style? And if you’re wondering where you and your significant other fall on the parenting spectrum, take this test.

Remember when summer meant the start of relaxation? If you’re a working parent, the word “summer” can be a dreaded term.

Figuring out how to keep your children busy while mom and dad are working full-time pulls at both your heart and wallet. Your heart, because as much as you want to “enrich” your children with all of these wonderful gymnastics, tennis, arts & crafts camps, you also realize that there are benefits to having some time to just veg out and do as little as possible. Your wallet, because the reality is Little Johnny can’t stay home alone, and the camps you’ve checked out amount to a sizeable car payment.

I consider myself one of the lucky ones. My son’s pre-school has a built-in camp option, so I’ve been paying for the upcoming summer sessions all year long. I’m putting off worrying about what to do when he enters kindergarten and actually has the summer off like most regular kids. My neighbor is going the smorgasbord route for her pre-schooler: Gymnastics camp for three weeks; general-interest camp at a different location for three weeks; then back to school for a camp to transition her daughter into the start of the school year. My sister-in-law, who is a personal trainer, is considering two weeks of soccer camp for her son. The rest of the summer, he’ll just have to tag along with her when she meets with clients. And my sister, the lucky one, is relying on Abuelo and Abuela to watch her three kids this summer.

If you’re one of those parents dreading the summertime blues, be sure to check out the Sun Sentinel’s online summer camp guide. And here are a few of my own tips to keep in mind:

- Ask for a group discount. If you have more than one child who will be enrolling in a camp, ask for a price break. It’s also worth asking if you get a group of your kid’s friends to enroll.

- Faith-based groups, city parks and recreation departments, and YMCAs usually offer camps that are reasonably priced.

- Ask about scholarships. Some camps work with foundations that set aside some money to be available to families in need.

- Organize play-date swaps. Check with the parents of some of your child’s friends to see if they’re interested in alternating days or weeks to watch over a small group of kids.

Much has been written recently (including in this blog) about the two Palm Beach County moms who went on Oprah to talk about their kids’ sex lives. I’ve always been a consummate planner, so it got me thinking: When is the right time to talk to your child about sex?

Forget going to the bookstore to pick up a hardback on the topic. I took my research into the 21st Century and did what any respectable Gen Xer would do: I posed the question to my elaborate network of friends on Facebook. After all, as this blog so often reminds you, it’s the advice from parents in the throes of childrearing who can offer the best words of wisdom.

Here’s some of what I heard:

Take it slow. You don’t need to cram everything into one BIG talk. Instead, have ongoing discussions and make them short. One of my friends thinks the car is the best place. That way, her daughter can look out the window and pretend to stare off into space while Mom is driving.

The “right” age is relative. Everyone, though, seems to agree that if you wait until your kids are teenagers, chances are they’ve already started learning on their own. And the basics start early: Talking to kids about their bodies (and overall gender differences) begins when kids learn to talk. My pre-schooler right now has lots of questions.

Split up the work. If you live in a two-parent household, ask your spouse or partner to help. My friends from California decided early that Mom would handle talks with their daughter and Dad with their son. The talks began around ages 9-10. The kids are now 13 and 11, and they have grown accustomed to Mom’s and Dad’s talks. At the beginning of the conversation, daughter always says: “Awkward.” And Mom replies with: “For me too! Get over it…”

How this generation of parents deals with the sex talk will differ greatly from how our parents handled the situation. (I don’t think I ever had a “talk” with anyone in my family as a teen. The closest I came to one was a 5-minute conversation initiated by my older sister on a flight to Paris for a family vacation.)

What’s your plan?

What a difference a year makes.

A year ago, I wrote about my guilt over being a working mom, in response to an innocent Mother’s Day questionnaire completed at school by my then-three-year-old son. He told his teachers that his “Mommy loves to _(work)_.”

For this Mother’s Day, teachers again posed the question to my son. Only this time he answered: “My Mother likes to _(cook)_.”

No, I didn’t quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom.

But I did make a New Year’s resolution that I would make sure we had more family dinners at home. I rearranged my son’s night schedule, so that I had a better chance of making it home in time for dinner. And I started preparing meals early. Sometimes days early. Just to give myself a fighting chance to actually succeed.

Despite lots of talk in recent years about a phenomenon coined mothers “opting out” of the workplace and returning home to take care of the kids and household, a study last year showed that more women with children (not fewer) are working full-time -- and logging longer hours.

There has always been pressure to live up to an unrealistic idea of what motherhood can and should be. Just think about all the moms on the silver screen and TV shows: How many can you recall featured a working mom who didn’t always get it right? Who struggled to get dinner on the table, failed to attend PTA meetings or never made it to a weekday soccer game?

Help me come up with a list. I’ll talk about it Wednesday morning on the new SouthFlorida.com/LIVE morning show.

I am expecting Baby No. 2 this fall. Now that I’m well into my second trimester, you’ll be hearing from me on a variety of issues – from medical tests to preparing older brother for the baby.

I must admit that, at first, I almost felt like I needed to explain why my husband and I chose to have a baby in this economy. But that’s nonsense. A baby is a blessing at any time. And think of all the other potential benefits…

Top 5 reasons a recession is as good a time as any to be pregnant:

-- Forget your credit card bills for a moment. This is one “due date” that you can actually look forward to.

-- Keep the family together. Rather than focus on your plunging home value, you can instead fantasize about your little one actually being able to afford a home near you one day.

-- Help stimulate the economy. Just think about what millions of moms buying loads of diapers, baby products, cans of formula could do to help bring the economy out of this slump.

-- A sense of accomplishment. Layoffs are a fact of life these days, but having a baby is a lifelong project you can help guide well into old age, if you’re lucky.

-- No one can tell the difference between whether you are overeating because of stress or simply “eating for two.”

If this video doesn’t pull on the heartstrings of parents everywhere, you probably need to have your heart checked.

An anti-smoking campaign commercial shot in a busy Australia bus station pictures a little boy who is separated from his mother amid the bustling scene. The boy looks sincerely lost. The cameras capture a very real moment where he turns from surprised to scared to just plain sad, with tears streaming down his face.

Queue the somber music, followed by an ominous voice: “If this is how your child feels after losing you for a minute, just imagine if they lost you for life.”

The ad by Quit Victoria, a nonprofit established by a local government in Australia, is creating a buzz.

Parents are asking whether it was appropriate to put the little boy in a situation where he very seemingly believed he had lost his mother. Quit’s executive director appeared on the Today Show this morning and said the boy and mother were actors who were coached for the commercial. Still she came short of denying that the scene, captured in one take, was anything but real for the little boy.

My question: Is it wrong to try to evoke a real response from child actors? Matt Lauer seemed to think so. But is it so different than the photographer who tries to capture a few alligator tears for the camera? (My parents have one of those shots of my sister when she was just a few months old.)

I didn’t come to know about Jade Goody until she became the symbol of cervical cancer as the young mother of two little boys. I didn’t watch her on Big Brother U.K. And I didn’t watch her on yet another reality series as she got the news that she was dying of the disease.

But her story has captivated me since she chose to die on television, selling exclusive rights to filming her final days of life. Goody died over the weekend.

As a mother, I can’t stop thinking about her little boys. What they must be going through. And that they had to go through this very tragic time in the spotlight of television cameras. In a flash, those little boys were forced to grow up and deal with a painful reality many adults have yet to experience.

I’ve wondered if given the chance, would I make the decision Goody made to die in front of the cameras. I’m glad I don’t have to make that choice. Goody’s decision was apparently a financial one: The money she received in exchange for her access would go a long way in providing for her children and paying for their education long after she was gone.

But at what cost to the children? I guess the millions could also go toward paying for the kids’ counseling, as well, because they’ll surely need it.

I had one of those “light bulb” moments the other day when my 4-year-old son tagged along for a quick trip to the salon. As I sat in the chair and chatted with my hairstylist, my son played his video games contently.

Before long, we started talking about the economy: The slumping real estate market. People losing jobs. 401(k)s disappearing. We must have used words, such as “bad,” “scary,” and “sad” in what amounted to a three-minute conversation.

My son stopped playing his game and put an end to it: “Stop talking, Mommy!” He said it firmly, with an intensity that was more concern than childish.

Shocked, my hairstylist and I quickly changed the subject and quietly wondered if my son actually understood what we were talking about. He may not know what being “underwater” on your mortgage means, but he certainly knew Mommy was not talking about happy things.

The experience really made me appreciate the degree to which young children can worry about issues that are far beyond their years. That afternoon, I saw my son in a different light. And I vowed to be more mindful of how and when I talk about sensitive topics.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has prepared tips for parents and caregivers when it comes to talking to kids about the economy. Among other things, they recommend limiting TV and other media time; talking to your pediatrician if your child shows signs of stress; and choosing your words carefully.

What tips do you have about talking to your kids about the economy?

One of my New Year’s resolutions sounds simple, but it's not: eating dinner as a family more often.

Because of our work schedules, my husband often eats dinner with our four-year-old son during the week. I arrive shortly after, if I’m lucky. I do my best to make it home in time at least once or twice during the workweek. The weekends are my time to cook and hopefully leave enough leftovers to last a few days.

But it’s just not good enough. Countless studies have explored the benefits of a family dinner for children of all ages. That time around the table purportedly guards against obesity, results in better grades at school, and helps prevent teens from engaging in illicit behavior.

Forget the studies. I don’t need a report to tell me that spending quality family time together has lasting benefits. So I’ve decided to alter my son’s schedule. We now eat dinner a little later and moved up my son’s bath time. We’ve only tried it for a few days, but it seems to be working.

And I can tell my son enjoys the special time together. Just last night, he turned to me in between bites of his fricase de pollo and said: “Mom, you’re the best cooker!”

How do you make dinnertime work for your family?

I’m starting to appreciate what it means to be left-handed in a right-handed world. I first suspected my son was favoring his left hand when he began putting baby rattles in his mouth.

The doctors told me to forget about it until he was 3 years old. Many kids don’t have a dominant hand until that age. Three years went by, and guess what? My son still favored his left hand. Wait until he’s 4 years old, then you’ll know, my son’s doctor said.

Danny turned 4 last month and – surprise – he prefers to write, cut, kick and ride a scooter with his left. Fortunately, my son’s teacher is left-handed and is very cognizant of how she teaches my son.

But what should I be doing as a parent? Or, more importantly, what should I not be doing?

Both my husband and I are right-handed. Teaching our son to trace, write and cut are already a challenge. I can’t imagine how we’ll tackle teaching him to tie his shoelaces!

Visiting your neighborhood park with your children should not be a lesson in profanity.

I still remember when I took my son to one of our favorite haunts in Davie, and he came across some graffiti on the side of the playground.

“What does that say, Mommy?” my three-year-old asked.

I diverted his attention elsewhere and seethed at the thought of delinquents destroying the recently refurbished playground. I should have reported it to the city.

That’s what some parents in Coral Springs are doing as they patrol their area parks. Called Park Moms, they check to see if the garbage is picked up, equipment is functioning properly and the playground is graffiti-free. (You can read about them in today’s Sun-Sentinel.)

If only there was a Park Moms in every city. Now there’s an idea…

Tell us what you think, and share your playground stories.

My son is finally at the age where he can enjoy (and sit through) a movie at the theater. We've seen Kung Fu Panda, Speed Racer and Horton Hears a Who in the past year.

Now the movie my son has been waiting for opens this weekend -- Wall-E, a lovable little robot tasked with cleaning up the mess that is Earth in the distant future. Judging by the review, it should be well worth the wait.

Will let you know what my son thought of it next week. At what age did you start taking your son/daughter to the movies?

The sting from Mother’s Day is slowly subsiding. Yes, Mother’s Day.

For the special occasion, my three-year-old son answered a series of questions posed by his teachers for a special, keepsake memento for Mommy. Questions like:

“My mother’s eyes are _(green)___ . My mother’s hair is _(brown)__ . My mother’s favorite color is _(red)__ .”

Cute, harmless stuff. Then came the zinger, the one I can’t get out of my mind and has fueled both tears of laughter and sadness.

“My mother loves to _(WORK!!!!)_.”

OK, he didn’t actually yell the answer to his teachers (the caps and exclamation points are how I read it). But he might as well have. His answer gets to the heart of insecurity for most working moms I know. And it breaks my heart to think “work” is what first came to his mind.

My husband and my son’s teacher both worried I might take it the wrong way. I’m sorry: What good way is there to take it? Yes, I’m sure at three years old, my son said it as matter-of-factly as, “The sky is blue.” Still doesn’t make me feel any better. (That said, I’m sure I feel better than the mom whose son said: “My mother loves to ___(put me in time out.)_”)

A colleague at work, hearing my telling of the story, offered some insight that poured salt on the wound: “It’s not where you want to be that matters to children. It’s where you are.”

Leave it to my son to be the one to make me feel better. He overheard me reciting the Mommy questionnaire on the phone to my mother.

“You’re never going to believe what he said,” I told my mom.

“Your mother loves to …..” I continued.

Then my son chimed in: “Bake cookies!”

I looked at him, put the phone down and ran across the room to give him a big, fat kiss.

And then I wondered if permanent marker was a bit much to add a footnote to my cherished memento.

Dry drowning. Ever heard of it?

I hadn't until my brother passed along the following link. A 10-year-old from South Carolina died this week, more than hour after he had gone swimming.

Apparently, during his day at the pool, water accumulated in his lungs. He walked home with his mother, talking normally, and then went to bed because he felt very tired. He never woke up.

About 3,600 Americans died from drowning in 2005, according to the latest figures by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). An estimated 10-15 percent of those were classified as "dry drowning," in which death occurs up to 24 hours later because of water entering the respiratory system.

As the summer swimming season kicks off with the end of school this week, I'm keeping this story top of mind. My hope is to teach my 3-year-old to swim this summer.

Any tips on good private instructors or classes for pre-schoolers?

Just in time for Mother’s Day, a Bal Harbour plastic surgeon is releasing a new children’s book: “My Beautiful Mommy.”

The illustrated book helps walk little kids through understanding why Mommy wants that tummy tuck, breast augmentation or nose job.

“But you’re already the prettiest Mommy in the whole wide world!” reads an excerpt from the book by Dr. Michael Salzhauer posted on Newsweek's Web site.

No matter. Mommy doesn’t feel that way.

I’m doing my best not to pass judgment. (I’ll leave that to all of you transPARENT readers and those of the parenting bloggers at our sister newspaper, Orlando Sentinel.) Not my job.

Let me just say I’m happy I have a son. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a young girl to deal with a Mom who is struggling with body image issues.

Believe me, I have my share of those. But my son is more interested in cars and robots than whether Mommy is upset that she still can’t get into her pre-pregnancy jeans. I have often thought about how mindful I would have to be about making seemingly innocuous comments (“Do I look fat in this outfit? I look pregnant!”) if I had a daughter.

For all you mothers of daughters out there: How have you handled the issue of body image? Any inadvertent missteps?

Last week, our parenting blog colleagues at the Orlando Sentinel began a discussion about children and music. (One parent worried about her young daughter coming home singing the lyrics to a rap song. ) And at transPARENT, fellow blogger Matthew Strozier lamented that he had to give up his hope (at least for now) of introducing grown-up music to his two-year-old. His son loooves Raffi.

My three-year-old son did too. But then he discovered Avril Lavigne. And Alicia Keys. And Journey.

I thank the iPhone and the fact that I love to sing in the car on the 40-minute drive down to my parents’ house in Miami each weekend.

And in some cosmic sense, maybe the fact that my son was born to a mix CD my husband and I made for the special occasion has something to do with it. Officially, our son was born to Sade’s “By Your Side.” A few seconds earlier, and he would have been born to the Santana/Rob Smith 1999 hit “Smooth.” (How I remembered this amid a non-medicated birthing process is beyond me.)

You never know whether your kid is going to be a music aficionado. My advice? Expose him or her often and early. And, as much as possible, engage in the music. Sing and dance together. Be silly. Make it fun.

To this day, I still insist on dancing to the Go Diego Go! song before each episode. I can’t think of a time when my son – even in the worst of moods – didn’t want me to pick him up and twirl him around.

He also pulls out his Fisher Price piano every time he’s inspired: Usually when he sees former Journey frontman Steve Perry play the piano in the “Don’t Stop Believin’” video we downloaded from iTunes. My son quickly learned how to navigate my husband’s iPhone and likes to replay his favorite songs and videos over and over again.

As for other grown-up music, he learned on those trips down to Miami to request certain songs: There’s the CD that has some oldies like “Sugar” and “Buttercup.” And the Indigo Girls CD, which has, according to my son, the “Mommy and Daddy” song. (Our wedding DVD, which my son loves to watch, has as part of its soundtrack the IG song “Closer to Fine.”)

But, by far, my son’s favorite, No. 1 request, several months running, is “No One,” by Alicia Keys. In my household, it’s better known as “Special Music Song.” That’s the term my son coined the first time I played the song for him and told him: “I have a special song for you.”

Hot Wheels in hand, head bobbing to the beat, he does his best to sing the song. Just last week, as we were listening to the song on the way to school, he told me he wanted to sing it to his friends. A cute notion, but one I thought he’d soon forget.

He didn’t.

As soon as he stepped into the classroom, he found his best friend and started:

“No one, No one, No wa-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-n, (mumble, mumble, mumble) feel for you,” he began. Then he skipped to his favorite part: “Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, Oh (oh), Oh (oh), O-o-oh.”

Now that’s music to my ears.

Want to look smart and tech savvy without actually doing something more than a third-grader could do?

I’m a little late this year, but I’m planning to design my 2008 personalized calendar online. Ever since my son was born, I’ve used Shutterfly.com to produce a number of keepsakes, including photo books, birthday cards and -- my favorite – calendars.

The best part about the calendar is you can make it start and end at any point in the year. So don’t worry if you’re a procrastinator or that we’re already in Spring. My calendar this year will be April 2008–April 2009, which actually follows my March 2007–March 2008 calendar. (Hey, I’m a busy working mom.)

Don’t be afraid to hunt online for other sites. I know Snapfish.com and Kodak.com also have similar capabilities.

The benefits are huge. Of course, you’ll have a calendar that you can keep for years, much as you would a photo album. Even better: Fill it with little notes about what you did on a particular day.

Some gems I had on my calendar this past year: Jan. 22, 2008: “Danny went to school in underwear for the first time!” June 9, 2007: “My new alarm clock: ‘Wake up, Mommy! I said ‘wa-a-a-ke up!’” October 6, 2007: “Danny says his favorite song is “Hey, Hey, You, You,” which means “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavinge.”

I’m convinced my three-year-old son is a budding musician. Not the classically trained kind. He’s more of a pound your fists on the Fisher-Price piano and play the harmonica while trying to brush your teeth kind of kid.

For Christmas, my husband desperately wanted to buy our son the Blue Man Group keyboard and drums. He was very disappointed when Santa drew the line on expensive gifts at a 5-speed miniature Corvette, which said husband also desperately wanted for our son. (Starts to make me wonder whom the Christmas gifts are for.)

Now’s my chance to see if those Blue Man instruments are worth the investment. The Blue Man Group brings their How to be a Megastar Tour 2.1 to the BankAtlantic Center in Sunrise on Saturday. Tickets aren’t cheap, but it’ll be the closest thing to a “date night” I’ve had in months.