Recently, a friend of The Kid asked if he had his driver's permit yet.

Needless to say, the question gave me pause - and I did everything in my power not to slam on the breaks - not out of anger or anything - more out of worry and shear horror.

I was driving the children at the time.

Gosh - these kids are younger than the blades of grass in our yard for cryin' out loud!

And what's the rush anyway?

Isn't it kind of nice to be chauffeured? Sure, our "passengers" are a captive audience as we adults drive them everywhere--the service comes complete with lectures and conditions.

And we get to spend time together. I get to meet his cohorts - in person no less!

But at some point, kids-my son included, are going to be in the driver's seat. And the best we can do, short of never, ever letting them out of our site, is to empower them with the right tools, starting with good driving instruction.

You can download AAA's Choosing a Driving School pamphlet here.

It's a guide for parents of beginning drivers. There is a check list of questions to ask, things to look for in a driving school. There are tips on how you can supplement what they'll be learning with additional information and experience.

It seems like only last year, I let him ride his bike - as long as he's wearing the helmet, knee pads, has reflectors, lights....

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If your child was out sick from school, home with a cold, or flu, maybe a fever, would you insist they do their school work?

I did.

The Kid is under the weather. We baby him when that happens. It just one more excuse to spoil him even more.

Homemade chicken soup is just the beginning. He’s been reading, sleeping and relaxing. His house chores are on hold.

Still the biggest worry – probably more for us than him – is his getting behind in his school assignments.

Life goes on: when he gets better – he’s going to feel worse about all the homework that piled up.
Class work will become homework. Homework will be added to homework. And he has a few projects coming up.

So we give him a cup of warm soup, hot tea, crackers to much on – and pen and paper to get cracking on his studies.

Nice, huh.

What’s your philosophy when the kid is down and out with the occasional bug -- Do you give them the total spa treatment – or keep them on task with school work?

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Much has been made lately about kids getting themselves from one place to another by themselves. There's the mom who let her 9-year-old ride the New York subway alone. That set of a fire-storm last spring. Lenore Skenazy, the mom, has become something of a stop-the-madness voice for children and families who don't want to live in fear all the time. Her blog is called Free-Range Kids -- "Give our kids the freedom we had without going nuts with worry."

The New York Times followed up with a story on Sunday about how parents struggle with letting their kids walk to school. One mom in the story relates how a neighbor DROVE her 7-year-old child home, five houses away. That's just crazy, and lazy.

My kids started walking to their friends' house down the street at a young age. I'd stand in the driveway and watch them go. Then retrieve them later (I didn't DRIVE!). Eventually, they were doing it on their own. There were lessons learned along the way: "No, you cannot walk around the block." "No, it's too dark." In time, the rules loosen, the parameters grow.

We live close enough to stores and restaurants that the next step was inevitable. This summer my son would hop on his bike with friends to grab some lunch somewhere. They'd walk to Blockbuster to pick up a video. Once he called me in a panic before a trip that he needed socks. I told him to ride his bike to the store and buy some.

Next will be driving. And college. And, hopefully, studying abroad. All of the little steps along the way have been preparing them for that.

So yes, whenever possible, parents should let their kids walk down the street and to school and beyond. What do you think? Are you a free-range parent?

Photo: Forum Publishing Group

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I know. I know!

You're young and brash. You're witty. You make good grades. You're a little bit bad. You make your friends laugh. You're the master of all that is known and unknown.

But you're also only 14 years old - give or take a few years.

This is for certain - once you click SEND or hit that ENTER button, just like saying something out loud, you can't "take it back."

It could be worse - your missives are out there on the Internet for all the world to see - for a long time. Those here-and-now communications via photos, blogs, text messages and MySpace/FaceBook could come back to haunt. That includes inappropriate or illegal downloads.

People you have yet to meet might even run into your digital antics along that information highway- like a future employer for example. But it's often, and unfortunately - a hard concept for kids - and many adults - to process.

That's why AT&T and iKeepSafe partnered to create a series of online safety education tools and projects, in conjunction with American School Counselor Association, to teach students how to protect their privacy and reputation online.

Parents should check out the MySpace tutorial. And if you do nothing else, listen and watch- with your child of any age-to first hand stories of students victimized by Cyber-bullies.

Your awareness needs to equal or exceed your child's level of social networking activity.

Together, parents and young kids can watch a Faux Paw cartoon adventure on illegal downloads. But supplement that with some real conversation.

AT&T's Stay safe. Stay connected, suite of resources provides tips for home phone, television and wireless safety tips and well as links to other resources.

Because, before tapping or clicking that send button - kids need to think about their future, their reputation, they could be deleting.

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Diane Viere and her husband, Gordy, are life-long residents of Minnesota (but plan to one day soon be snowbirds). They are the parents to three birth children and have parented 21 foster children during their 35 years of marriage. Diane has partnered with author Allison Bottke and is the Director of Group Communications in Setting Boundaries, LLC. In that capacity, she joyfully helps parents of dysfunctional adult children find hope and healing through the 6 Steps to SANITY and 12 Weeks to Freedom: SANITY Support Program.

An insidious thing happened on the way to my son’s 18th birthday—he learned to believe that I was responsible for his life.

He was born with learning disabilities, and I advocated for him at every turn. When children teased him at school, when coaches didn’t let him play, when doctors and teachers seemed indifferent – I did not rest until the wrongs were made right. It was my purpose and my passion.

In spite of my good intentions, I never allowed my son to learn how to fail while living in the safety of our home. He had learned as a child that Mom and Dad would bail him out of any situation. Why, then, was I shocked when he began to live irresponsibly as a young adult?

“How did this happen?” As a SANITY Group Facilitator, I am asked this question often when I meet with parents. “We only tried to help her,” they tell me. “How did he miss the importance of responsibility? We have worked tirelessly to help him!”

To understand the answer to this heartfelt question, we must first understand the critical difference between helping and enabling.

In Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents, author Allison Bottke defines this critical difference:

Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling is doing for someone what he could and should be doing for himself.

An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to continue with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.

What does enabling look like when you are the parent of an adult child?

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We already know the dangers of multi-tasking and cell phones.

But the jury is still out as to the extent of brain tumors and cancer connected to cell phone use - especially with regards to children using them.

It’s a heated debate: studies, seminars and more studies abound, but are often inconclusive.

Reuters and the Huffington Post reported on a two-day symposium on the topic that will take place in Washington DC Sept 13 - Sept. 15.

A blog post on foodconsumer.org emphasizes study flaws: that health risks of cell phone use is underestimated.

Last year ScientificAmerican addressed the issue – ultimately without concluding one way or another the health risks of cell phone usage.

There are already a lot of negatives stacked against cell phone users --kids or adults: driving and using cell phones, expense, time management and etiquette.

But health seems to also be an issue one should take into consideration.

Maybe - if we share that information with our children, they might opt IN for good old fashioned face to face conversations!

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Let's talk about Obama's speech to schoolchildren today.

First, I have to get this off my chest. There is no way I would pull my child out of school to avoid a 20 minute speech by the president -- any president. But if a parent wants to keep the kids at home, that's their right.

Parents send their kids to school with a lot of faith that they will be safe and that they will be educated. We entrust our precious babies to strangers who, in the best of situations, become our allies. Between the first and the last bell, a lot happens that parents can't control -- and I know that drives some parents crazy. I've met them.

Here's my question: Can one speech change a child's outlook either way? Or is a family's influence stronger? At what point does a child begin to see the world in their own way? Third grade? 7th grade? Senior year?

My siblings and I think differently from our parents, politically, though we share many many values. But my sibs' grown children tend to think like their own parents. Why is that?

I have no idea whether my kids will be watching Obama's speech today. Either way is fine with me. If their teachers feel they have the time to spare and can turn the speech into a healthy discussion, great. If they have other curriculum to teach, even better.

Today, my daughter's more concerned with finding a good science fair project and a big math test later this week. My son has benchmark testing. This curiculum is far more important to me than a presidential speech.

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What do you do when your daughter’s new college roommate is John?

According to an Associated Press article I came across recently, there are about two dozen colleges and universities in this country that allow young men and women to share a room on campus.

Dubbed the mixed-gender housing movement, students have a choice to room with the opposite sex. Officials at most of these colleges reportedly say romantic relationships among these roommates are discouraged. And some say having a choice is just another example of how they are tearing down walls.

But as if dealing with a new roommate, a total stranger, isn’t hard enough, I can’t imagine wanting to make the situation even more complex by having to live with a roomie in college who is of the opposite gender.

Back in my day (which was not that long ago) we couldn't dare think of sharing a bedroom on campus with the opposite sex. Back then having a co-ed dorm seemed like a big deal. And although we had coed dorms, men and women were separated by floors.

While I have no qualms with adults rooming with whatever sex they choose, I have some doubts about these arrangements on a college level, especially among young college students.

While some say they’re just roomies, get over it, the parent and former college student in me, has second thoughts.

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When I was a kid, I heard about presidents. We read about presidents. We saw them on the news. Some presidents were republican, some democrat.

We had civics lessons, learned about the value of voting and learned about the value of, well, people having different values!

But one value is important to most parents regardless of politics – and that is getting an education.

Next Tuesday at noon on C-SPAN and broadcast through the White House Web site, President Obama will give a speech telling children that succeeding in school is important. He'll stress they are responsible for taking an active role in their learning and education.

Oddly, some parents are opposed to having their children watch/listen to Obama’s talk.

I wonder, do those same parents cut out the portions of or hide pages of the newspapers and magazines on which Obama’s name or image appear?

Do they change the channel or turn off the radio or television when news mentioning the president of the United States is mentioned? Censorship sure takes a lot of energy, time and focus.

Getting good grades, working hard at learning and being a responsible school student also takes a lot of time and focus, and isn’t anyone party’s political agenda.

First Lady Nancy Reagan promoted the “Just Say No to Drugs” program. I think she was addressing both republicans and democrats, and everyone in between.

Visit the Dept. of Education to read about Obama’s upcoming speech.

Some parents say this is brainwashing – but if that includes inspiring, instilling and reinforcing being a good, responsible student-- then brainwash away.

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Our biggest challenge the first week of school was --getting The Kid to school.

Well, it really wasn't our challenge - it was the bus driver's. Alternately, the bus was early, on time, or very very late. But by Friday morning, the bus was waiting for him for a change.

That pretty much sums up our week because that was the most unpredictable part.

The Kid got up each morning at 5 a.m. on his own - except for one time.Another time, he had to wake us up.

I think teamwork played a big role in our success. We support one another. As much as we love to spoil him - we also make it clear that it's up to him to stay on task, to be a self-starter, to go that extra mile.

The next step is the extra activities - should we wait to start up martial arts again? How will he manage homework and after school club stuff? He also has to find the time to volunteer.

We're looking forward to a weekend of downtime. Yeah, right. We'll be back to the store shopping for lunch food. We have to get The Kid some long pants - he grew out of every pair over the summer. He has to get a few more school supplies.

Oh, he has to review his assignments to see what projects he has to begin - and he'll hang out with his friends at some point. For that, he always manages to find some time.

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Now that my kids are 14 and 7, I got the Phillips head screwdriver out on Sunday and removed the child-proof latches from the bathroom cabinets.

Freedom!

But now apparently I need to apply some kind of latch to the vodka, maybe to prescription meds in the house, and quite possibly to any cigars my husband might have lying around. Why? Because as I said at the beginning, I have a 14 year old.

A few weekends ago, I was in bed reading a book (John Steinbeck's The Red Pony, about an innocent young boy and his beloved horse), when I heard an ambulance, and sirens. Sounded like they were heading our way.

They were.

A group of young teens, my son included, were at a friend's house a block down the road, and her mom wasn't home. Some of them guzzled the vodka. One of the teens passed out, several vomited. A neighbor checked on them, found the grisly scene, and called 911. The sober kids, my son among them, were told that one of their friends "might not make it.'' Three of them were taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Did they learn a lesson? I hope they did. And so did we, the parents.

A lot of the important work raising kids is done by the time your child is 14. You've built the foundation, and when your kid's a teen-ager, you find out how sturdy it is.

Is there anything you can really do to stop a teen from drinking?

Will a child-proof latch work?

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There I stood, in the courtyard outside my son's PreK class, sobbing. He was fine inside the classroom. He'd been a full-time daycare baby since he was 3-months-old, so it's not like I wasn't used to saying goodbye to him every morning.

But I was a mess. It was hot and I was sweaty. And to top it all off, I was holding my 5-month old, whose diaper had exploded in a dramatic, vivid way -- all the way up her back.

Yet I stood there, tears and sweat streaming. Pathetic.

Three years later, I sent my baby girl off to the same PreK fate. And, because she's a victim of second child syndrome, I don't really recall any drama.

Good thing I snapped this picture. And I've been snapping ever since.

This year is a big one. He starts high school, she starts middle school. I will take a picture and try to coax a smile out of them.

I suspect there will be a few tears (mine). But I guarantee: no exploding diapers.

To share your first day of school photos, go to SunSentinel.com/firstday.

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Lots -- and lots -- of books cross my desk. But this one really caught my eye:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School.

Bingo! My daughter Erika is starting sixth grade. That's a big enough deal. But she's also going to a school with absolutely nobody she knows. (Except her dad, who teaches there.)

Sixth grade. Big school. No friends. Ugh.

As I flip through this handy guide, I see all kinds of useful advice: "How to Play It Cool When You Don't Know the Answer." "How to Survive a Massive Mess-Up." "How to Survive Mean Girls." "How to Survive a Crush Without Getting Crushed."

I really wish I had had this book back when I was that age. Maybe I would have known how to actually, you know, talk to boys. Maybe I could have avoided that haircut (there's a chapter in the book). Maybe...sigh. It's too painful to even think about middle school.

So I give the book to Erika with instructions to mark up the parts that are particularly handy. She flips through it. Gives it a good look. And yawns.

Anything helpful? "No," she says. "It's all so obvious."

Uh-oh. The girl must be deluded. Have I sheltered her? Have I not given her the skills she needs to find her way through the trecherous hallways of .... middle school?

Or maybe, just maybe, she's .... confident. She's always had a pretty thick skin -- a byproduct of having an older brother.

But I'm going to keep the book handy in case she ever has a crisis of confidence. Or in case, you know, she needs my advice.

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If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a controversial doll that allows children to breastfeed.

Released by Spanish toymaker Berjuan, the doll “bebe Gloton,’’ which means gluttonous baby, comes with a pink and green halter that kids can strap to their chests.

The halter has flowers in the place of nipples and when the child presses the doll’s mouth against the fake nipple, the doll makes a sucking sound.

I came across this doll in an article in the New York Daily News. There is video demonstrationg how to use the doll.
Debates about this doll are lighting up the parenting blogosphere.

A lot of parents have been on the attack, saying the doll will promote teenage pregnancy and is too mature for little kids.

My immediate reaction to this doll was: how creepy. But now I can’t help but wonder if parents are taking their criticism of the doll too far.

For one thing, it seems kind of hypocritical to me that in a society that promotes breastfeeding as the best option for babies, we slam a doll that actually gives kids some sense of how it’s done.

Children like to pretend. Having a doll, no matter what method you use to feed it, is already introducing kids to the grown-up concept of becoming a parent.

And there is a lot of fascination around the whole concept of breastfeeding. So what’s the big deal?

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Hydration and sunblock. If you are a kid who plays sports in South Florida, you cannot avoid being lectured -- by coaches and moms and random sideliners -- about drinking plenty of water and spraying it on thick.

Alec came home from basketball camp at the University of Florida with this little tidbit: If your urine is like lemonade, you're hydrated. If it's like apple juice, you are dehydrated. Call the medics!

We are a protective generation of parents. Notice I didn't say OVER-protective. Avoiding heat stroke is a good thing. (Bad mommy confession: I once sent Erika to soccer camp without water, or lunch.)

But I tend to agree with Atlantic High coach Andre Thaddies who said, “The heat isn’t new here in South Florida. The kids are outside and living in South Florida. Their bodies adapt." By the time an athlete is in high school, he or she has been drilled on the subject for 10 years or more.

It starts at the earliest ages with the post-game snacks and drinks (don't get me started on the tyranny of that ritual!) By the time they've played a few years (soccer, football, baseball, what-have-you), these little button-pushers learn how to tap into the fear of prostration (usually it's Mommy's fear), especially if they are tired and/or having a bad game and/or losing. "Coach, I'm dehydrated, I need to sit." To which a coach is inevitably muttering that the kid is "out of shape." Funny, kids rarely want to sit when the score is in their favor or they are on a hot streak.

Erika has been practicing soccer at 8 a.m. Saturdays this summer. Her little round face is beet red and her clothes are soaked by the time practice is done at 9:30. She's wiped out. But each week she gets stronger. She's adapting.

Don't get me wrong: Running laps at 3 p.m. in 98 degree heat is no fun and probably best avoided. ESPECIALLY for those kids who are aren't in shape or have other underlying health issues.

The best we can do as parents is supply our kids with knowledge. Give your little athletes that lemonade/apple juice test so they can learn to pay attention to their own bodies. And don't forget to send them to practice with a jug of water.

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I'm all for teachable moments. But does my family have to watch penis enhancement commercials during prime-time news?

The commercials are for ExtenZe, a pill that promises larger and harder erections. I have been secretly hoping my kids have no idea what the commercials are talking about.

The Viagra and Cialis commercials were more subtle and easier to ignore. But the ExtenZe ads are pretty direct, promising to "make a man larger" and increase "the size of a certain part of the male body."

Let these commercials run in the middle of the night!

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The "family reunion" has become an industry unto itself. There are websites, magazines and books. You can buy invitations and t-shirts and save-the-date magnets. You can create playlists and themes. We didn't do that. We're just not that kind of family.

But our vacation qualified as a family reunion because we drew 23 people from seven states -- four gerations from my 84 year old dad to the nearly 2 year old great granddaughter (we were missing seven). We were spread over three cabins for four nights in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

The last time we all gathered in this particular location, Papa spent a great deal of time in the pool with a bunch of kids younger than 10. This time, those same kids are all in their 20s, and Papa isn't as agile as he was then. There have been marriages and babies and college degrees and global travels along the way.

When we gather like this every couple years -- the last time for my niece's wedding -- the dynamics change. But we've learned a lot along the way, especially about keeping the peace. Here's what works for us -- what works for you?

1. Don't over plan. The only activity we do as a group is dinner. Trying to get that many people to agree on anything is fraught with peril. So during the day, we go our own ways to the sights or to nap. As it turned out, small groups would form for a particular adventure -- caving one day, horseback riding another. So we all spent a little bit of time with everyone else.

2. Share dinner responsibilities. It's too expensive to eat out all the time. And nobody wants to get stuck with all the dinner planning. So we assign nights to family groups -- from the shopping and cooking to cleanup. Over happy hour, we share our adventures from the day. We play a few games -- dominoes or bocci ball. The kids kick a soccer ball around. It's a nice way to unwind.

3. A campfire is a essential. And not just for the 'smores. This is when the family stories are passed down, when the far-flung cousins rebuild their bonds, when the younger generations get initiated into broader family dynamics. The last campfire is always the best -- by then our guards are down and the laughs are loudest.

4. Humor Grandma. If Grandma says we're going to the cowboy dinner and sing-along, by gosh, we're going. And we're going to enjoy it. And don't be late. Just do it. And if Grandma wants to play word games and give out prizes, so be it. It's the least we can do to play along...and wouldn't you know, it's fun.

5. Realize families change. Every reunion, there's a newbie who gets a little gentle hazing. This time, my nephew brought his girlfriend. That Emily...she held up pretty well! When my husband was the newcomer, he got stuck babysitting some rambunctious tots who tortured him with dog piles and pillow fights. Now, 20 years later, he's offering advice to those same kids about how to tolerate all the family togetherness when they'd rather go into town. And yes, 20somethings will sneak away to the liquor store. When they were little, all they needed was a swimming pool to keep them happy. Things change.

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My daughter cooked dinner for us last night.

She and her little brother spent the day getting the meal ready. When we came home from work, all that was left for us to do was to sit down and eat.

We talked about all kinds of things around the dinner table: music, jobs, shopping, getting married one day.

Only, this time, though she's my baby daughter – she’s not a little girl any more.

Our gourmet meal consisted of artichoke-leek soup for starters. Turkey Milanese on a bed of arugula mixed greens followed. Homemade cupcakes added the final touch.

She’s getting married in December. We planned a shopping trip for this weekend. She works – sometimes two or three jobs at the same time – and she’s getting her master’s degree.

She’s one busy gal – I’m thankful I took the time I did to spend it with her – we had mother/daughter slumber parties. We spend hours at bookstores, parks and playing in the yard. We camped once or twice (she wasn’t impressed.) Together, we got our ears pierced.

But as we laughed and smiled about all the stuff we’ve done – and the crazy few months ahead before her wedding, I began to wonder, silently to myself, of course – where did she get her incredible cooking skills? Must have been the Easy Bake Oven way back when. Who knew!

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ForbesWoman just released it first examination of the “Best Cities For Working Mothers.” Why am I not surprised that Miami/Fort Lauderdale came in at No. 43 out of 50? New York (New York!) topped the list.

It's so easy to explain away the results -- we are transient, a party city, lots of retirees, lots of immigrants with families back home. "This list fairly reflects how the rest of the country views Miami," said ForbesWoman writer Heidi Brown, who edited the list.

What? We're not family friendly? Maybe so. Although most of the families I know are friendly enough.

To come up with the list, ForbesWoman ranked 50 of the largest continental U.S. metropolitan statistical areas (that's Miami/Fort Lauderdale) by categories: earnings, unemployment, cost of living, violent and property crimes, healthcare, per-capita expenditure per pupil, the number of daycare and preschools, and park acreage. They used data from the U.S. Census Bureau, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Dartmouth Atlas and other reliable sources.

Surprisingly, Miami/Fort Lauderdale ranked No. 3 in the child care category. But keep in mind that quantity, not quality was evaluated. Brown said that in the population area of 2.4 million, we have 709 daycare centers. That doesn't sound like a lot to me. "Perhaps this shows how dismal daycare is around the country," she said.

Another surprise was our low rank in parks: No. 48. Really? In the sun and fun capital? (Jacksonville ranked No. 1.) This data came from the nonprofit Trust for Public Land, as well as the various cities. Come to think of it, I know that recreational sports teams are always competing for limited practice space throughout Fort Lauderdale.

Other notable rankings: No. 12 in the number of pediatricians, No. 20. in school quality and No. 20 in per pupil spending. Not bad.

But there's women's income: No. 43. Cost of living: 43. Violent crime: 48. Property crime: 49. Ouch.

Making matters worse, Miami/Fort Lauderdale is actually the highest ranking Florida city. Jacksonville is 44 overall, Tampa, 46, and Orlando is 49. Las Vegas is No. 50.

"Maybe this is a wakeup call to city leaders," Brown said. I couldn't agree more.

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Yes, I had a good laugh when pictures of President Obama donning “mommy jeans” hit the airwaves not too long ago.

The president wore the infamous jeans when he threw the first pitch at an All-Star baseball game about a week ago. The media labeled them the “mommy jeans.’’

It’s not every day you see your president at a baseball game in pleated jeans that seem a little too short and a little too feminine!

But I realized the reason I laughed so hard was because I could recognize a pair of mommy jeans instantly.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve become a huge fan of mommy denim, as I like to call it. These are jeans I would not have been caught dead in before I had my daughter.

They’re super faded. Some of mine are high waters, barely reaching my ankles. And they have a way of flattening out everything. They are the kind of jeans that can make Jennifer Lopez look curve-less.

But I’m a mommy jeans advocate because they’re roomy and comfortable.

When I’m running late for my daughter’s dance class I can slide into my mommy jeans, no problem. When I’m heading to a long ballgame, I opt for my mommy jeans.

Ketchup, sweet-and-sour sauce, ice-cream, bring it on. My mommy jeans can handle it.

Every now and then when I want to shake things up, I wear my mommy jeans to a party or a club. While all the women in their skinny jeans and high heels are on the sidelines trying to look cute, I’m on the dance floor getting down in my mommy jeans.

We’re moms, after all. While some people sit back and listen to the music, we’re busy dancing to the music.

Thank you mommy jeans for allowing us to dance more comfortably.

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Divorce parties seem to be the thing these days.

Parting partners are ordering fancy ‘’just divorced’’ cakes, hosting divorce spa parties and in some cases going as far as to have their divorce soirees catered at a banquet hall.

While I can fully understand how these parties can be cathartic, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a bad thing for the children of the divorcee to attend.

On one hand, it might be good for older kids to see that their parent can celebrate their split. Parties are associated with happy times, right?

On the other hand, if a child is hurt by their parents’ divorce, is it pouring salt on their wound to have a whole bunch of friends over and pop open the champagne?

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When I look at my kids' beds each day, I feel like a failure.

Their blankets are strewn in all sorts of mysterious positions: at the foot of the bed, in the space between the bed and the wall, on top of their pillows. I hit the roof recently when my youngest daughter began tossing hers on the floor.

I guess I could start withholding allowance, computer time, TV time and food. But then I wonder if it's worth it. Does it really matter if they make their beds?

The mistake I made is not drilling in the bedmaking habit when they were little. Warning to parents of little ones: Teach your kids the advantages of a neat bed. They will be able to find things better! It looks good! And visitors will be impressed!

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Although I love social networking sites and give them much credit for reuniting me with some 200 friends of the past, I don’t have any pictures of my daughter on Facebook.

Call it the paranoid mommy in me, but I worry about the security on some of these sites. I don't want my six-year-old's picture posted on some random page that I can't control.

I know it's common to share photos via Facebook and other sites these days. But I think it's good social networking practice to get clearance from a parent before you post another child's photo.

This way everyone is on the same page. What side of the fence are you on when it comes to uploading children’s pictures on Facebook?

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I have really matured in the past year.

Last summer, I sent my 13-year-old and his buddy cross-country on a plane all by themselves. We worked diligently with the other parents to find a flight that didn't require changing planes. We paid the extra fees for flying as unaccompanied minors. We got them official picture IDs from the police department. We had lists of phone numbers stashed in their bags. Phone calls flew back and forth between all the parents and both boys when they had a layover in Austin. My sister took time off from work to be at the gate in plenty of time to pick them up in San Francisco. (Then she had a flat tire on the Bay Bridge, but that's another story.)

This summer, my son is flying alone. He has to change planes twice. I figure he can pass for 15 so we didn't have to pay the exorbitant unaccompanied minor fair. Since the rest of us will have already left, I'm not entirely sure how he's going to get to the airport in Fort Lauderdale. In fact, I'm not entirely sure how he's getting back from the out-of-town baseball tournament he'll be playing in. (We do have a great network of friends and neighbors to help.) When we pick him up on the other end, we have to time it just right so our seven-hour car ride across South Dakota ends just when his plane touches down in Rapid City. Piece of cake.

What could possibly go wrong?

Ok...as I typed those words. I shuddered. Is it getting hot in here? Why am I breaking out in a sweat?

But here's the deal. When I was 15, I flew to Hong Kong by myself. Alec has a good head on his shoulders. He's observant. He's responsible. He's...mature.

Right?

What do you think?

PHOTO: Associated Press/Frank Augstein

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Women who have given birth looo-oo-ove to talk about it. They love to talk about all the gory details, they love to play "top that." Over drinks, on the soccer sidelines, at PTA events eventually and inevitably, there's a chorus of "when my water broke during the board meeting.....I pushed for 48 straight hours....and then my idiot husband....and the baby's head was as big as....."

OK, ok, since you asked. My favorite part was when I heaved myself over the hospital admissions desk and the idiot nurse, in her whiny stupid voice asks, "Are you in labor?" and I say, "No sh-- Sherlock." That was fun! Or some hours later when I screamed, "GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!!!" And the nurse screams back, "IT'S TOO LATE!!!" That wasn't as much fun.

But my stories are NOTHING compared to what you'll see on TLC network's new series: I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. This series promises to reveal "the astonishing stories of women who conceive and carry their babies all the way to labor and delivery, while never even knowing they were pregnant."

I'm still sitting here slack-jawed. There are enough women to make a SERIES out of this phenomenon?? Are you kidding me? It's been several years and the painful memories do fade, but lemme tell ya, I can still conjure up those backaches and swollen ankles and, well, I'll spare the details here. I can't imagine NOT KNOWING!

Tonight's debut episode at 9 p.m. sounds intriguing: "Nicci, a 31-year old mother of three goes into labor and gives birth at home with some surprising help from her 10-year-old son - and she didn't even know she was pregnant!" This is a woman with experience in these matters!

So you know where I'll be tonight at 9 p.m....pass the popcorn and the Chardonnay.

PHOTO: Photos.com

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I was in the car with my daughter when I got the news about Michael Jackson.

For me it was personal. Not only did we lose the “King of Pop,” I lost my very first pop icon.

I had the “I Love Michael” buttons. Every inch of my wall was filled with Michael Jackson posters. When my parents bought me my first record player (yes, record player), they threw in the “Super Freak” single by Rick James and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album.

I still love Michael to this day. Despite his tarnished image in the media, I put on “Man in the Mirror” and I feel inspired. And a party just isn’t a party without one or two Michael Jackson jams to close it out.

At least back then I was allowed to just love Michael without having to think about all his personal dilemmas. Too bad our kids aren’t allowed the same luxury.

My daughter already knows Chris Brown did something bad to Rihanna, as she put it. She knows Lindsey Lohan’s battles. And I’ve had to set the record straight on some of the Hannah Montana rumors.

It’s sad that with all the gossip on television and the Internet it’s almost impossible for our kids to embrace an artist for their music and their talent and leave it at that.

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I confess I watch many of the shows about giant families, including Jon & Kate Plus 8 and 18 Kids and Counting.

In "18 Kids and Counting," you can sense some chemistry between the married couple, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. But in "Jon & Kate Plus 8," I could never understand how they loved each other and remained married.

So I'm not at all surprised they revealed on Monday night's show that they are getting divorced. You could see in their body language they almost disdained each other.

Tabloids and blogs have had a field day blaming one or the other. But I believe you could see from the outset that this marriage was not meant to last.

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I have become addicted to "Whatever, Martha!"

It's a show on Wednesday nights on the Fine Living Network in which Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis, and her friend, Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, make fun of old Martha Stewart shows, which ran from 1991 to 2004. I find myself laughing out loud as they take apart Martha's obsessive and controlling personality and find sexual innuendo in her every offhand comment.

They mock Martha's clothing, body language, choice of words, choice of projects, choice of guests: everything Martha says and does is subject to their ridicule.

I laugh -- sometimes -- when my kids make fun of me, but this skewering takes Mom-mocking to a new level. Still, I wasn't surprised to learn the idea for "Whatever, Martha!" was Martha's, a way to revive interest in her old shows.

We all know she is a savvy businesswoman, but now we learn she has a terrific sense of humor. Here's to mothers who don't take themselves too seriously.

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What do you say, what do you do, if your child says he or she wants to change their gender?

If it takes a famous person like Chastity Bono to openly go through the process to create dialog, that's great. But not everyone is so lucky to have a built in fan-base, financial reserves, good connections. And not everyone is an independent adult.

Your questioning child still depends on you.

It's a complicated issue for those on the outside looking in.

But "complicated" doesn't even come close to describing the process for the individual going through it. How does he or she even begin to articulate it to others?

Think about this: a female wants to transition to male (F2M). Would that person want to be with females (straight) or other males (gay)? Conversely, would a male, transitioning to female (M2F) want to be with males (straight) or other females (lesbian)?

Is it even that simple? I think not.

Several articles and blogs have discussed one family where the parents are letting their 8-year-old son openly live life as a girl.
Here is one report.

For more insight, read this account of a woman whose son came to her and said "Mom, I need to be a girl."

Lots of organized information is available.

In this post Transproud helps parent navigate the reality that their child just announced they have a gender conflict.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is a voice within the school community to ensure a safe environment to GLBT youth and create open discussion.

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Our children completed another year of school. But that doesn’t mean they’re any smarter about online safety.

Just because its summer vacation doesn’t mean rules are on vacation either, especially when it comes to kids and their online Internet activity.

Some kids are going to find they have a lot of time on their hands because many parents can’t afford to send their child to camp, or for other reasons simply choose to have the kids stay home. Other kids looked for summer jobs but didn’t get one.

TV, playing video games and surfing the net will fill a lot of that time. Facebook, MySpace, e-mail, Twitter, online games and draw people into communities online --with total strangers.

My son will be pretty busy with a marine school magnet program and martial arts. But he does go online. I’m pretty confident though, he’s very safety savvy. He’s extremely diligent about the sites he visits.

He implemented programs to protect his data. He does not veer from his usual book marked favorites. He runs software that prevents random sites from popping up. He does not use Facebook or MySpace. He only rarely e-mails family members and friends.

In fact, I’ve learned a lot of online tips from him. We are constantly sharing information about something we’ve learned.

When he first started going online, I constantly repeated these safety tips – and they’re good for anyone of any age:

1. Never give out personal information like your name, telephone number, address, e-mail, or school name.

2. Be cautious: people you chat with online may not be who they say they are.

My top two tips can be found at

Mcgruff.org

What rules and safety tips have you and your children discussed and implemented?

Add your ideas to the list of safety tips with your comments.

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I have a confession. Before I became a mom, I actually enjoyed spending time alone.

A new J. California Cooper book and a comfortable pillow were all I needed to get me through a Sunday afternoon.

That kind of time is rare these days. Most of the weekend is spent doing kids’ stuff. But I’ve found a few inexpensive ways to get “me time” and reconnect with the loner in me.

Visit to Ikea. The Swedish furniture store has free baby-sitting for shoppers. There’s one in Davie. You don’t have to buy anything, and my daughter looks forward to going to their play area. They limit you to about 45 minutes, which can fly by, but it’s nice to have uninterrupted time to look at fabrics and scope out designing ideas.

The gym. My gym charges an extra $5 a month for its kids’ club and it is money well-spent. You get to work out alone, with no distractions while your kids play with others.

The park. Instead of cuddling up on my battered green couch like I used to, I take my magazines and books to the park and read while she plays.

Do you know of any other low-budget ways to get time alone? Do share.....

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Anthony is a creative type. He likes to draw and pal around with younger kids.

The 12 year old is one of nearly 1,000 children in Florida in need of a stable family life.

Taking in a child from foster care is an awesome thing to do. If you're considering opening your home to a child now in the state's care, check out the traveling exhibit Children's Trust Heart Gallery on Saturday at Dave & Busters in Hollywood from 4 - 6 p.m.

During the exhibit, potential parents can "meet" some of the children available for adoption and get answers to some pressing questions, such as what financial and emotional support is available, how long does the adoption process take, do the birth parents have rights?

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McMommy has tales.

The McMommy Chronicles tracks the 30-something mother of two who says she has no clue how to parent, but tries to anyway. Here's her take on the most-used parenting excuse:

While on vacation recently, I dared to make the thoughtless remark of "OK kids, five more minutes in the pool and then we'll get out to clean up for dinner, OK?"

Have you ever made that remark to a young child?

If not, you better duck and cover, my friend. Because first you will get pummeled with "WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! MomIDon'tWannaaaaa!! Waaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! No! No! NO!!! YOU ARE SO MEAN!"

And then they will proceed to throw the World’s Biggest Tantrum right there before your very eyes.

And as you are pulling your water-logged children out of the pool, kicking and screaming and limbs flailing, you look around to everyone and mouth one of the most famous parental phrases in parenting history: "I'm sorry. They are so tired!"

If you are a parent, you cannot sit there with a straight face and tell me you have never used that line before. It truly is the perfect catch-all for any childhood tantrum thrown in public.

The kicker? It doesn't even matter if it's true or not.

My children could have just woken up from a nap 20 minutes ago, and I'll bust that line out if they have a meltdown.

I don't care.

Because uttering this phrase:

A.) Causes others around you to nod their heads sympathetically instead of throwing looks of disgust your way.

B.) Gives off the vibe "I totally know what I'm doing as a parent" and you look in complete control of the situation.

When in actuality you have no flipping clue as to why your kids have turned into little monsters.

Of course, there are variations of the famous phrase:

• “Someone’s ready for a nap!”

• “He’s just cranky because he went to bed late last night.”

• “Early bedtime for you tonight, Mr. FussyPants!”

All work remarkably well.

It’s also the one phrase that can be used no matter what the age of the child. You can be a parent for a mere couple of hours and if that baby starts wailing, throw out a simple: “Oh, you must be so tired after the morning you’ve had!”

Nice, you are off the hook. Everyone around you will murmur “Look at her parenting instincts! Oh, she is such a natural!” and applause, applause . . . you come off looking like a mothering genius.

And truly, isn’t that all we ever want as parents? To come across looking like we know what we’re doing when in reality, we are just flying by the seat of our spit-up stained pants.

Next time, I’ll cover the second-most famous saying in the history of parental excuses: “He’s just overtired now.” (What does that even mean? No clue, but guess who just said it 20 minutes ago?)

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Our toddlers don’t watch much TV. We limit it, on most days, to about 20 minutes of their favorite on-demand show, which is usually Thomas & Friends or Bob the Builder. We need them to sit still long enough to prepare dinner. And it works, providing us a respite from the chaos that usually surrounds these adorable but spirited little boys.

So I understand why preschool and day care teachers sometimes turn on the TV. I need a break with two kids; they endure 10 or so little ones for hours on end. It’s a long day, and plopping them in front of a TV probably seems like a way to regain one’s sanity. And I fully support sane teachers for my children. That said (and you see where this is going): What’s an acceptable amount of TV in preschool or day care? Our boys are 3 and 18 months.

My wife and I have debated this recently as we noticed that our 3-year-old seemed increasingly familiar with cartoon characters. Some he learned at a friend’s house, but others clearly are coming from TV sessions at his school – either during aftercare or the normal school day. We’ve raised this issue before with school folks, but I wonder how far to push it. What would you do?

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Time to put some faces to our Tweets, blogs and comments.

Let's meet - in person.

We're in the planning stages and are hopeful that our first Moms & Dad's event will be held in June at the Young at Art Children's Museum, in Davie.

For future events, we want to blend the best of networking, seminars and mingling with guest speakers and activities.

Let us know when it would be a good time for you to attend.

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This is an amazing story.

Wait, this just in: Update - earlier today, there was a report about a newborn about to undergo surgery to remove an undeveloped fetus from its mouth, in Miami. After a news conference, reporters learned it's NOT a twin.

At this point, I am also reframing my post to be more reflective of the new information.

A child was born with a tumor covering the face. Here is the story about the recent surgery and recovery of the now two-month-old child

Our hearts tug at stories about children and families facing challenges.

Operations for any child can overwhelm every family member.

KidsHealth.org provides some guidance of how to prepare your family - and you - for hospital experiences such as visits and surgery

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A few weekends ago my 6-year-old met her dad’s girlfriend, for the first time.

When she returned home she had a string of questions. She wanted to know when daddy and I would get back together, why he had a girlfriend, and why wasn’t I mad?

I explained to her that daddy and I love her very much and told her that we should be happy that daddy found someone he cares for. I’m also in a committed relationship, and I told her I wanted daddy to find that same joy.

I’m fortunate that my daughter has a really great dad. We both co-parent, with very little drama.
But I realized that in addition to knowing my feelings, she needed reaffirmation that her space in her dad’s life wasn’t being threatened.

I grew up in a two parent household, with my mom and dad. I didn’t have to wrestle with these questions at six. These days, in a world where a lot of single parents have a relationship status that’s “complicated,’’ how do you break it down to kids in simple terms?

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Death and dying are horrible topics for children to talk about. It’s really scary for them to imagine a life without you.

But it could happen, and you should have age-appropriate conversations with them.

Don’t be Morbid Mom or Downer Dad about the topic.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with a bit humor, if you can manage it.

Regardless of your discussions with your children – you must have conversations with the other adults in your and your children’s lives – about the aftermath of your or your partner’s or spouse’s passing.

Single or married – get wills.
Step parents, same-gender couples – get wills.
Divorced parents – get wills.

The process of making a will causes you to address other topics too: guardianship; medical advocacy and end of life issues -all these issues will affect your children.

Begin with Liz Pulliam Weston’s MSN Money column. She asks Who will take care of your kids if you die? That will get you thinking and organized.

Next, look at this Florida Bar tip sheet that starts off with the question: Do you have a will?

Get additional information from the Florida Bar on what and why you should initiate other directives.

Doing some homework upfront will give you starting talking points when you meet with your attorney to get the paperwork done – and basically make you aware of what you DON’T know and why you need to know it.

Local law firms. such as Molder Legal Group P.A. in Plantation, can educate you on Florida-specific laws and procedures beginning with its 3-part series blog on parents and estate-planning.

Fort Lauderdale attorney Robin L. Bodiford of the Law offices of Robin L. Bodiford PA co-authored A Simplified Guide to Creating a Personal Will.

Both law firms help single people and same-gendered couples navigate the often confusing and not very friendly legal landscape related specifically to their circumstances.

Ask your lawyer what the costs will be. It can vary for a single individual to a couple. It depends on if you just do the will, or if you are going to do trusts, living wills and other directives. Ours began with starting costs at around $2,000 and go from there.

Last year, I blogged about my experience getting a will. I’m not for one moment sorry I went through it – or put my family through it.

It’s never too late.

And if you need an occasion (I chose Valentine’s Day because ‘I heart’ everyone) then consider the upcoming Memorial Day holiday, or Father’s Day in June.

Or how about just a: I-love-my-family-everyday Day?

You can also follow Cindy Kent on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

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If you co-parent you know the phone is like a lifeline.

My daughter’s dad lives out of state and he calls her almost every evening to chat. There are some evenings when she runs to the phone and there are those other nights, when she is simply not up for talking.

I know it’s not easy having your child treat you like a bill collector. But I think some parents go about getting their child to open up on the phone all wrong. Some tips I picked up while observing others:

1. Believe it or not, some children don’t want to talk about themselves all the time. They want to know what happened in your day. Share with them something funny that happened on the job, or a joke you heard.
2. Keep the conversation short sometimes. It shouldn’t seem like a chore for your child. Try to gauge if your child is losing interest.
3. I often ask my six year old two questions that get her on a roll. What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? Yes, more often than not, more time is spent on the worst part, but I’m guessing that’s human nature.
4. Try to stick to a scheduled time when you’re expected to call, every night. Some of my friends complain that they can’t get to speak to their kids when they call their child’s mother or father, but they call at all random hours. Custodial parents often have hectic schedules.
5. Come up with a funny sign off.
If you have some tips to keeping a conversation going, do share....

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It was bound to happen.

We parents are saving the world -- or managing our children -- one Tweet at a time -- as long as we can do it in 140 characters or less

MomsRule: hey-you better be following me. Yes, I mean you. Your room has to be clean by the time I get home

MomsRule: RT @awwDoIHaveTo? I love you too. There is a special surprise snack in the fridge, AFTER you get your homework done

MomsRule: No @please,mom?

MomsRule: No @IpromiseI’llBhomeOnTime

MomsRule: They have homes and mommies of their own. We can’t always be feeding the neighborhood.

MomsRule: You broke WHAT? @IDidn’tMeanTo @Sister @Brother @TheNeighbor’sKid

MomsRule: How many times have I told Umath is a ladder subject. U can’t skip steps. Here is really cool website 4 U 2 get some good geometry help

MomsRule: RT @Icantbeinbothplacesatonce You’ll have 2 ask 1 of the other mothers 4a ride and dinner. Can one of the moms help you with that assignment?

MomsRule: RT @Whereisit? Right where you left it – I didn’t move a thing. You put it in the top right-hand drawer next to the scotch tape

MomsRule: No

MomsRule: RT @WaitUntilIGetHomeYouAreSoGrounded On your report card? Every class? What’s your principal's Twitter name?

MomsRule: I’ll gv U Ur $$ if all Ur chrs R dne N tme 4 Us to …4get it – pick up fone-that’s me calling 2Tlk 2U!

(Tips on talking to your little person - in person can be found on FamilyEducation.com

Advice on long distance/virtual parenting can be found here.)

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Lucas Emilio turned 1 last week. We invited a handful of friends over very informally for a small party. We made sure to tell people not to bring gifts. Yet every one of the guests brought something.

Don’t get me wrong. We appreciate their generosity and thoughtful gifts. But we really meant it. We just wanted to have people over to celebrate my son’s milestone birthday.

We’re guilty of doing it too. My wife and I both have brought gifts to parties when the host said don’t do it.

That got me thinking of how do you get the message across in the future that we are sincere in our request without being overbearing.

It’s all in how you explain your wishes to guests, according to an etiquette expert the Emily Post Institute. Simply saying “please no gifts” won’t work.

“You’re really trying to change a tradition,” said Cindy Post Senning, who has a new book coming out next week, “Table Manners for Kids”.

If you’re inviting guests over the phone or in person, she said, tell them that you’re trying to start a new tradition in your family. You want to make birthdays about a celebration and not gifts. In a written invitation, add a sentence to the “no gifts please” note saying the same thing.

There will still be gift givers. Senning said, but don’t open the presents at the party. That would make for an awkward situation for others who listened to your wishes and didn’t bring gifts. She suggests telling the gift givers that you plan to save the gift and give it to your child at another time.

Maybe we’ll try this for Ana Isabel’s upcoming birthday. She turns 4 in August. We’ll see if it works.

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Here are three applications every iPhone/iTouch-equipped parent should have.

1 A distraction for the kid(s). My 2-year-old likes KidArt, which allows her to choose from 10 colors and four "canvases" for finger-drawing. Drawings are limited to stick figures and outlines. Cost: 99 cents.

Other kid distraction options:

Koi Pond. See three koi swim, "feed" the fish by shaking the iPhone/iTouch and watch them snap up the food. Cost: 99 cents.

Art Gallery is a mobile museum. For younger children it's a good tool for identifying shapes, animals and colors. For older kids, it's a good introduction to popular artists and art forms. Cost: Free

2 Something for the home. I've fallen head over ladle for All Recipes.com's DinnerSpinner. Select a dish type (appetizer, entree, breakfast), an ingredient (vegetable, fish, grain), and how long you want to be in the kitchen cooking (20 minutes or less, 45 minutes or less). Presto, a meal option is presented.

I made the pineapple chicken (substituting pork) last night, which was ready in 40 minutes.

Other home app options:
A "virtual" friend at the Palm Beach Post recommended Zenbe, which allows users to share task and grocery lists with family/co-workers. Cost: $1.99.

Grocery IQ has made shopping for groceries much easier with its favorites, history and list queques. I simply check off the grocery item as I pluck it off the shelf. I've seen a reduction in impulse buys when using the gizmo. Cost: 99 cents.

3 A distraction for you (and your partner). During intermission at a theater production, my sister and I passed the time playing air hockey courtesy of FS5 Hockey. Cost: Free.

Other adult distraction apps:
Word Warp has kept me and my husband busy while out at restaurants during the lag between ordering and diving into the grub. Cost: Free.

A friend swears by Scrabble, but I can't imagine plucking down $4.99 for an app. Yet.

What's your favorite app for distracting the kids, or the one you and your beloved get a kick out of? Let me know!

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Mani-pedis for 4-year-olds?

Um, I don't think so!

Or so was my initial reaction to the Miami Herald story about kiddie salon Le Petite Youth Spa.

But the girly-girly mamas, clearly with a credit line that is stronger than mine, have swayed me. It's just for fun. It helps the girls with self-image, they say.

I mean how can you argue with Mom's perspective: "At school, they do what they see. But here she learns how to be different, like not running [inside] a place like a little boy.''

Plus, the salon doesn't cut cuticles -- just puts pretty paint on teeny toes and fingers.

The girls are playing dress-up. No harm, right?

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This hurts.

Read this today in MassLive.com:

SPRINGFIELD - Hundreds of people filled the Alden Baptist Church Monday for the funeral of Carl J. Walker-Hoover, the 11-year old boy who hung himself last week after complaining of bullying by classmates at the New Leadership Charter School.

"Our prayers are that this crisis will make Springfield a better community," said the Rev. Hugh A. Bair, who delivered the eulogy that capped the 2.5-hour service.

"The name calling must stop; the bullying must stop," he said, resulting in applause from the overflow crowd.
...
His mother said he suffered taunts and threats from other students who made fun of him, insulted the way he dressed and called him gay since he began attending the school in September, Walker said. Read the rest here.

I had a very difficult time reading this article because it’s so senseless and painful, to know people can be so unenlightened and cruel.

I am sorrowful for the mother, for young Carl. I'm sad for all of us. In the death of this 11-year-old boy, a victim of harassment and bullying, who hanged himself, we're all victims, regardless of our sexual orientation.

There are untold numbers of victims in this case: Those who fear coming out about their sexuality; those who fear helping; those who have LGBT friends and family members. Those who just want to ask questions.

This month, a local church is hosting a workshop that many people can benefit from.

Riviera Presbyterian Church is hosting “Gender Identity and Our Faith Community,” a public workshop from 1p.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 26.

This is Riviera's promotion about the event:

Do you know what 'gender identity' means to you? Have you ever wondered what struggles transgender people face? Do you have questions about where our ideas of 'appropriate' gender expression stem? Do you feel called as a person of faith to stand with those who are marginalized, but are not sure how to advocate politically from a religious voice? If you answer yes to any of these questions than we have a FREE workshop for you!

Please join Riviera Presbyterian Church on Sunday, April 26th from 1 pm to 4 pm for a moving discussion on 'Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities' sponsored by the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign. We will be joined by HRC staff member and transgender educator, Allyson Robinson, who will lead us from acceptance to advocacy on issues of gender identity and LGBT equality. This workshop will challenge us, liberate us, and help us grow as a community committed to justice for everyone.

Address: Riviera Presbyterian Church, 5275 Sunset Drive, Miami. The free workshop is open to the public. RSVP: Phone: 305-666-8586. E-mail: rivierachurch@bellsouth.net. Website.

There are resources all over the country as well as locally.
Volunteers and experts are dedicated to getting the word out about nonviolence, LGBT issues, mentoring and more.

Pridelines Youth Services

YES Institute

Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians

Compass Community Center, Palm Beach.

Gay, Lesbian Community Center, Fort Lauderdale.

There are many opportunities to embrace, to learn, to understand issue that surround sexuality and gender orientation.

People of all ages can learn a thing or two –and they should. It’s OK to reach beyond what you know, beyond your comfort zone.

Sometimes that might mean hearing what you don’t want to hear. It might be being with folk that aren’t like you.

But nothing is quite like making yours and your child’s world bigger – through understanding and knowledge.

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Its' a no-brainer, really.
When you acknowledge the spirituality of others, you learn more about yourself. You gain insight.

That's what we told The Kid when we explained why we were hosting a Passover dinner in our home this week.

Our guest list included Jewish people and Christians. We invited friends, neighbors and co-workers to a "Gentile Passover". Everyone was touched by our invitation. One said she had been thinking about what she would do this holiday.

We made Matzo Ball soup, from scratch; and roasted chicken and lamb. Our neighbor cooked a brisket.

All of us, including The Kid and his friend, listened as one of the guests explained the meaning of the opening plate and what the food on it signified.

Everyone brought something to the table.
But the main courses were inclusiveness, love, respect and friendship.

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He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

Yes, I tried to explain that giving water to a newborn is not generally a good idea. We talked to our pediatrician about Leo's formula because he seemed to be spitting up a bit. We are following our pediatrician's advice, which brings us back to rejecting my mother's advice.

And then Leo has another hiccup.

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

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Baby needs a brand-new pair of shoes. Always. Put can you afford to fork over $40 for a pair of leather sandles or sneakers that your child will outgrow in months?

Heck yeah with this deal!

Shoe retailer Stride Rite is rolling back prices to what they were in 1999. The strings attached include the deal being good only for online purchases, the first 1,999 buyers, shoes in stock and those purchased through StrideRiteToledo.com

At checkout, enter the promotional code: 1999.

For more details, visit the Stimulus Sale page.

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When I was in school, we never had a "Pull Up Your Pants Day." Never needed one.

But today, Plantation High School made such a designation.

Seems the trend of young men wearing pants barely above the hips began in the 1980s as a way for gang members to indicate they'd spent time in jail. It caught on as way to show "coolness," independence and defiance.

Broward County public school officials stated their mission in this news release:

“In an effort to reach out to young men and increase their self-esteem and self-image, school administrators and teachers are following President Barack Obama’s call to, 'Men of America – Pull up Your Pants.'"

The program included community leaders, mentors, and alumni handing out belts donated by WalMart to students. Guests attended a luncheon with students involved in the Mentors for Tomorrow’s Leaders Program, followed by a forum and panel discussion facilitated for students and staff. My colleague Gregory Lewis wrote about the event here.

It’s good to put a spotlight on what many people see as a negative message, and the behaviors that accompany it. It was clever and wise to create this program off of current events. Hopefully kids listen.

Rod Hagwood shares his fashion sense on the matter here.

And DetentionSlip has his take on the issue.

Still, I’m a little disturbed – students are rewarded by the attention of good people for what is essentially dressing badly.

When I mentioned the designated day to my son, he said, “Wow, that’s good, because to dress that way is so lame.” I asked him what he meant by that. “Kids don’t even know what that means,” he said. "It’s just stupid. They don’t know why they are even wearing their pants like that.”

Let me be clear, my son has lots of friends who wear their pants low.

I’m thinking now, which is dangerous.

I should give a few community leaders a call and ask them to go have lunch with my son.

They’ll recognize him by how well-dressed he is – he wears his pants around his waist. And he's never gotten any attention for following the rules. That would be nice for a change!

But instead of donating a belt, (he has one, and uses it) maybe they could hook him up with a new backpack — a few zippers are busted on his old one from carrying lots of school books and folders.

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We did what any parent must eventually do – we cut the cord.

Only in this case, we canceled the cable service for television. It’s very liberating - we aren’t tethered to it anymore.

Admittedly, it’s more of an adjustment for us rather than The Kid. We adults had become lay-a-bouts. We’d be the ones to mostly say, “wait, after this show I’ll [fill in the blank: help you with your homework; cook dinner; clean the house; put out the fire, etc.]

The Kid does lots of other things already. His withdrawal symptoms will be much less than ours. He plays video and board games, card games; he reads and practices Tae Kwon Do; hangs out with his friends and does his homework.

But I think us big people will survive too. This week, one of us focused more on graduate course homework and the other did more housecleaning.

Though the true catalyst for disconnecting from pay television and switching to rabbit ears was driven by cutting expenses, we’ll gain so much more than loose change. We already have, we’re re-connecting with each other.

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Free your mind and the rest will follow. En Vogue, anyone? (If you don't remember the earworm, here's a sample.)

There's a campaign underfoot to get folks to get more green. Clorox has even jumped on the bandwagon with biodegradable cleaning products. The march continues with getting folks to rely less on disposable napkins and paper towels and more on reusable cloths.

There are some easy ways to make the transition, read the McClatchy Tribune story here.

I made the switch from my beloved, fruit-colored sponges to nubby, reusable cloths for washing the dishes. Instead of dumping three sponges every two months into the Great Landfill, I wash, and wash, and re-wash my dish towels.

I'm still reaching for the paper towels to clean up messes. But after downgrading from Viva to Bounty to save a few pennies, I'm ready to invest in some bar towels for mopping up spills.

But I think the real test of a committment to free (disposable) napkins comes at party-time. Is there anyone out there who solely uses cloth napkins for entertaining a crowd for a birthday party of cocktails?

Tell me, are you ready to free the napkin?

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Free your mind and the rest will follow. En Vogue, anyone? (If you don't remember the earworm, here's a sample.)

There's a campaign underfoot to get folks to get more green. Clorox has even jumped on the bandwagon with biodegradable cleaning products. The march continues with getting folks to rely less on disposable napkins and paper towels and more on reusable cloths.

There are some easy ways to make the transition, read the McClatchy Tribune story here.

I made the switch from my beloved, fruit-colored sponges to nubby, reusable cloths for washing the dishes. Instead of dumping three sponges every two months into the Great Landfill, I wash, and wash, and re-wash my dish towels.

I'm still reaching for the paper towels to clean up messes. But after downgrading from Viva to Bounty to save a few pennies, I'm ready to invest in some bar towels for mopping up spills.

But I think the real test of a committment to free (disposable) napkins comes at party-time. Is there anyone out there who solely uses cloth napkins for entertaining a crowd for a birthday party of cocktails?

Tell me, are you ready to free the napkin?

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What’s wrong with a few drinks during Spring Break? Plenty if you’re under-age.

And youth ages 14 to 20 have lots to say about it in the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation’s 2009 “Why Not?” Spring Break Video Contest.

Participants submitted videos on why they choose not to make alcohol a part of spring break plans: It’s unsafe, is the prevalent theme.

Using YouTube.com and SchoolTube.com, the initiative provided peer-to-peer communication through the Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco’s education and prevention efforts. The partnership also incorporated the Department of Education that encouraged educators throughout the state to share the contest with students.

The emphasis is a good year-round topic: after all, we have holidays, weekends and summers too!

Make it a family time moment when you check out the 30-second spots at MyFloridaLicense.com.

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Who doesn’t want their kid to be adventurous?

We want our young man to brave his new world, make it bigger, and try new things. He's turning 14 years old in a few weeks.

We want him to actually visit family – in other states – for extended periods of time: a week, a summer month, a holiday - without us along.

It's all good stuff – he should spread his wings.
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Only, should he spread his wings alone – that is – fly solo?

Independent Traveler.com , basically tells a horror story of a child flying unaccompanied by an adult.(There is a happy ending) The article goes on to give advice and some things to consider when booking a flight.

Just about every commercial airline website addresses the issue of a minor flying solo. They post their policies and provide tips.

There are websites, such as Forms4Parents.com where I can purchase a form and fill it in with detailed information. I can include instructions, identification and contact information.Then I can tuck the paperwork into The Kid’s pocket and keep my fingers crossed.

I can pack him off with a cell phone.

I know, I know, but this is also an emotional decision.

Do I hop on the plane and fly out with him and at the end of the visit, go out and come back with him?

Maybe I just ought to let him visit family via Facebook, from the safety of our own home.

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She bounces on the bed. I yell. She keeps bouncing.

This is a common lament from parents of step children. Not the bouncing on the bed part, but the fact that orders are ignored.

A Miami mother is struggling with how to discipline her 3-year-old stepdaughter. Wise parents who've been there and done that, we need your help.

What steps should she take in disciplining her stepchild?

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I had one of those “light bulb” moments the other day when my 4-year-old son tagged along for a quick trip to the salon. As I sat in the chair and chatted with my hairstylist, my son played his video games contently.

Before long, we started talking about the economy: The slumping real estate market. People losing jobs. 401(k)s disappearing. We must have used words, such as “bad,” “scary,” and “sad” in what amounted to a three-minute conversation.

My son stopped playing his game and put an end to it: “Stop talking, Mommy!” He said it firmly, with an intensity that was more concern than childish.

Shocked, my hairstylist and I quickly changed the subject and quietly wondered if my son actually understood what we were talking about. He may not know what being “underwater” on your mortgage means, but he certainly knew Mommy was not talking about happy things.

The experience really made me appreciate the degree to which young children can worry about issues that are far beyond their years. That afternoon, I saw my son in a different light. And I vowed to be more mindful of how and when I talk about sensitive topics.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has prepared tips for parents and caregivers when it comes to talking to kids about the economy. Among other things, they recommend limiting TV and other media time; talking to your pediatrician if your child shows signs of stress; and choosing your words carefully.

What tips do you have about talking to your kids about the economy?

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My wife has a line about schools: “I don’t want our kids to be the ‘only only.’” By that she means the only brown-skinned kid in the class. Our two boys are biracial. I’m white; my wife is black.

The question has arisen lately because we are considering new schools or day cares for both boys. (One is 16 months; the other is almost 3.) What’s interesting is defining how much racial diversity is enough. And what happens if a school gradually shifts while your child is there – say it loses most of its black, or white, students over several years. Do we notice?

South Florida is interesting in this regard. People often extol this area for its rich mix of people and races. And it’s true: that does exist. And, compared to Northern cities, it’s still a relatively “new” metropolis, so social divisions are not as entrenched. So what does this mean? Well, we have friends who resemble our extended family – black and white, working-class and well-to-do, with international connections mixed in here and there. My kids have more Spanish-speaking friends than would have had in New York.

But still I wonder. It’s easy to create social worlds that look exactly like us. And honestly, I find there’s a voice in my head that says: “But if it’s a great school, then its racial makeup can take a back seat.” Easy for me to say, perhaps, since I’m white. So that leads me back to the question: how much diversity is enough?

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As a city slicker, I fantasized about summer camp.

There would be campfires by a sparkling pond. Dinner plates heavy with sweets -- Who eats real food during camp? Secrets shared between bunks.

And then I went to camp. We had the campfires with throngs of mosquitos. We had dinner plates heavy with greasy lasagna and even greasier rolls. We had no privacy to swap secrets at night because the camp counselor slept in the same cabin.

Before you send you child off to camp, bust their bubble as mine should have been. South Florida Parenting's March issue is a guide to camps and includes tips on how to ensure a great camp experience for you and your child. On the list: Talk about dealing with peer pressure.

Read the other tips, here.

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Getting dinner to the table within an hour of getting home is a nearly impossible feat.

But I've found that casseroles, cooking on weekends and supplements go a long way to getting dinner made in short order.

And by supplements, I mean the cooked rotisserie chickens at grocery stores, the order of ribs from a favorite restaurant, the frozen shrimp purchased -- on sale -- by the bag.

Filling in the edges of the meal with fresh vegetables, microwaved potatoes or steamed rice is much easier.

So grab a rotisserie chicken tonight and make a Chicken Avocado Pecan salad, Fast Chicken Black Bean Chili, Tortilla Soup with Shredded Chicken and Diced Avocado or Chicken Pot Pie. (The links take you to the recipes as they appeared in today's paper.)

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Headache, schmedache - send the kid to school.

Or should you?

There's times we send our 13-year old to school even when he complains of a headache, stomach ache - or might - just might have an ever so slight fever.

I know. That's so cold. KidsHeatlh has some good pointers, tips and advice on the matter.

Still - we don't want him to stop the world just because he isn't feeling 100 percent. And only this week, we actually did let him stay home two days.

After all, how many times do we go to work when we'd rather be home because we feel a little "under the weather?"

So, which is it in your house: pamper him or her with their favorite blankey, hot tea and cozy pillows?

Or like me, pack 'em up and ship 'em out with a pat on the head for encouragement? (Wouldn't want to kiss them in case they're contagious!)

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Wow, homework is a hot topic.

We’re only looking out for our kids’ interests, from many points of view.

My last blog entry This just in: Kids assigned too much homework? elicited a lot of reaction from South Florida parents.

Eliza felt strongly that teachers are overly micromanaged: “We tie teachers' hands and continually lower the bar for our kids regarding their education.”

And Julie presented another perspective: “Yes, they need to learn discipline to enter the workforce, however, do adults spend most weekends and evenings doing work? or do adults go home from work and golf, ski, hike, go to movie, etc? I work full time, but I don't work every night for 2 hours and every weekend for 6 hours.”

Somewhere in the middle is balance - and truth. An elementary school student bringing home two hours worth of homework begs the following questions: Why? What happened in class that day? Does the student have difficulty paying attention? Is it really class work that was not completed? Is it really a 30-minute assignment but you are having trouble keeping your child on task? Maybe there is some fessing up to be done.

And teachers just might possibly appreciate the guidelines. I’d love to hear from some. Is every homework assignment graded? What's the value in giving homework - it's just more work for you too.

I agree trips and getaways are tricky to plan when there is homework to be done.

So, what grade would you give the Broward County School Board for this initiative:
Broward County School Board sets homework limits.

What do you like about it, what would you change?

[UPDATE:] Take a look at today's March 20th story by Akilah Johnson: Education Debate Bringing home too much work?

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I have the saddest cell phone plan in the land: No text messaging, no free calls. So I was plum happy to find a money-saver for when I needed to call for information.

Google is offering a free 411 service and it works like a charm. At least it did for me on Friday, when I wanted to place a takeout order for shrimp fried rice.

I dialed the Google number, and told the Dude (an automated voice) the name of the restaurant, city and state of its location. I had part of the name wrong, but Dude corrected me and then connected me.

Whoopee!

Save this number in your cell, and let me know how it works for you. Of course, normal cell phone fees apply if you have a limited cell phone plan as I do.

The number: 800 GOOG 411 (that's 800-466-4411).

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I can vouch for the influence parents have over their communities.

When I was way too young to remember, my dad was on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He represented white people pushing for change, he represented his faith as a Presbyterian minister, and ultimately, he simply represented his family.

Recently, one of my brothers found this clip about him from an old 1961 edition of Jet Magazine. He was quoted, “Let me tell you of several incidents when Jesus was caught in the act of sitting-in,” said Henry Warren Kunce. I cannot begin to express my pride!

So it’s not a stretch for me to see the value in National Parent Leadership Month that honors and celebrates parents for the vital roles they fill in their homes and communities.

But, not everyone has the opportunity to take on a mission like the one my dad did.

Still, other issues are just as noble, like Prevent Child Abuse Florida. For many, it’s a cause way too close to home.

The organization engages parent leaders in developing program strategies and public awareness materials through its Florida Circle of Parents program, to prevent child abuse and neglect through mutual, self-help parent support groups.

Based on shared leadership, mutual respect, and inclusiveness, the free, confidential and non-judgmental groups are open to anyone in a parenting or care-giving role.

There are 54 groups throughout Florida.

Find a Florida Circle of Parents support group in your area.

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At the end of a long work day, the last thing I want to do is make a nutrious meal for my 23 month old.

On those days, I usually rely on party foods to make a meal without making a meal. The crackers come out its sleeve, the block of cheddar gets sliced and topped with pre-sliced, bagged apples.

But the other day I rediscovered how to get a fuller meal to the table without lifting a finger: have hubbie make a casserole.

We've eaten severals meals from the one-dish wonder of chicken/rice/broccoli. And I've committed myself to making TWO casseroles this weekend to serve during the week when energy is in short supply.

If you want the recipe, click below. Otherwise, share a link to your favorite casserole recipe for other time-strapped parents to use.

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Like the rest of the country, I am reading every word about Nadya Suleman, the California mother of six who just gave birth to octuplets.

The lurid details continue to fascinate: She is single. The first six were also born by artificial insemination. One of the first six is autistic. Her mother is refusing to help her anymore.

But for me, the key questions are: How could the doctors allow this? Who is paying for the babies' hospital care (taxpayers?)? Who will support these children financially (a book deal)?

At the end of this report is a good quote from a Parkland psychologist, Judith Horowitz, who works on fertility issues: "This woman could not comprehend the ramifications of having eight children of the same age at the same time...After Pampers stops delivering the free diapers, then what?"

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Priority #1: Safety. Hands down, when it comes to our children. But somehow, we let our guard down in the process of making child care decisions.

Parents of children under the age of 6 are most concerned about safety when choosing child care, according to a recent survey. The report, Parents' Perceptions of Child Care in the United States, highlights other top issues: learning environments with trained child care providers, and cost. Zogby International conducted the telephone poll of 1,004 parents in November for the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The report also revealed that parents assume a lot: that there is governmental oversight to ensure child care safety; that background checks are conducted and employees do get training on child development, CPR, child guidance and discipline, and can recognize signs of child abuse.

Sometimes, we parents are naive, just like our children. We place complete trust and faith in the system, just as our children do us. The report went on to say parents believe that state governments license and inspect all child care programs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The NACCRRA reports that only about half of the states inspect child care settings only once a year or less.

The report details its findings on cost and other child care issues. The NACCRRA provides links, facts and score cards.

If you had been asked - and other than safety – what is your biggest child care concern?

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So what if the kid gets good grades? That's his job. He's supposed to. If he gets bad grades - he's grounded until his next report card. It's a hardball philosophy, but we stick with it.

He's set up for success. He has his own room, a desk, a computer and good lighting. He has shelves full of books, paper and pencils. He gets three square meals a day. He has time and space to do his study and homework. He has free time, friends and sport activities.

We acknowledge his good work and grades with a dinner or by going out somewhere special. He'll get a little surprise like a t-shirt or a few bucks so he can by something. I don't think any of that is overly extreme. It's consistent, which is what we are teaching him - constancy.

But what about kids who seem to need extra motivation? I know of one person who would give their child about $200 for a report card with no "Cs" on it. But since the child did get Cs this quarter, there was no reward. It kind of produced a "don't matter" result.

To me, there is so much wrong with that kind of dangling carrot: it devalues the teacher and the spirit of personal growth. It certainly goes against the idea of constancy.

It's an age-old question, with answers that come from various angles. A Kiplinger's Newletter columnist says it's a slippery slope.

A blogger at Queercents.com agrees its a bad deal. Comments for and against the practice follow her post.

Listen to an NPR interview that features Mocha Moms on the topic of cash incentives schools are beginning to implement.

Assuming you checked in with everyone involved in your child's education, but your child were still performing poorly - grade-wise - in school, what motivational push would you give?

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My four-year-old son is a walking commercial.

My husband and I recently decided that it was OK for him to watch a few cartoons that were previously off limits – SpiderMan, Ben 10, Phineas and Ferb. He’s enjoying the more sophisticated dialogue (Albeit the occasional “stupid” reference, which we have explained is a “bad word.”)

The real problem is the commercials. These new shows are riddled with ads, and my son just eats them up.

In the past week, here are a few of the exchanges my son and I have had:

“Mom, look! Bendaroos! I want those,” he explains to me with the excitement of opening a Christmas gift. “If you buy one, you get another free!”

Ouch.

Last night, my son asked me to take off my sweatshirt, suggesting instead that I use a blanket to stay warm. I explained to him that blankets aren’t as practical because you can’t wear them around the house the way you wear a sweatshirt. It’ll just slide off my arms.

“You can buy a snuggie. Right, Mom?” he said, completely oblivious that he sounded like a pitchman for As Seen on TV products. “That’s a good idea.”

Oh, no.

The icing on the cake came at bedtime, when my son squeezed in a few more minutes of playtime with his Bionicles (which are a new line of Lego toys).

“New, from Bionicles,” he said as he lay them down next to his bed.

That’s it. From now on we are going to Tivo the shows and fast forward through the commercials.

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Baby needed a new pair of shoes, so I headed to Stride Rite at Broward Mall.

And before I could enter the store, I had a WTF moment. There was three shelves of shoes by Jessica Simpson, for girls.

GIRLS.

And, yes, I'm talking about that tart Jessica Simpson who has taken being blond, busty and a bumbling idiot to the bank.

What kind of message is this sending to our girls. Have you gotten these shoes as a gift from the clueless aunt? Or did you, gasp, buy them yourself for your little darling in a moment of weakness??

Let's talk!

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The time is coming for my husband and me to do our biennial ritual: Give our daughter a bat mitzvah party.

Our three girls are two years apart, and no. 2's bat mitzvah will be in September. We are wrestling with how much to spend when we don't have money to splurge.

My first daughter's party was not an expensive affair, but it was good enough. However, we have even less money now for the upcoming event.

We went to a bar mitzvah this past Saturday night and saw a performance by The Amazing Bottle Dancers, which I really enjoyed. I would love to have something like that at our party, but extras like that are out of the question because of the cost, whatever it is.

Got any money-saving tips for putting on a classy event on a low budget?

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One of my New Year’s resolutions sounds simple, but it's not: eating dinner as a family more often.

Because of our work schedules, my husband often eats dinner with our four-year-old son during the week. I arrive shortly after, if I’m lucky. I do my best to make it home in time at least once or twice during the workweek. The weekends are my time to cook and hopefully leave enough leftovers to last a few days.

But it’s just not good enough. Countless studies have explored the benefits of a family dinner for children of all ages. That time around the table purportedly guards against obesity, results in better grades at school, and helps prevent teens from engaging in illicit behavior.

Forget the studies. I don’t need a report to tell me that spending quality family time together has lasting benefits. So I’ve decided to alter my son’s schedule. We now eat dinner a little later and moved up my son’s bath time. We’ve only tried it for a few days, but it seems to be working.

And I can tell my son enjoys the special time together. Just last night, he turned to me in between bites of his fricase de pollo and said: “Mom, you’re the best cooker!”

How do you make dinnertime work for your family?

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The police reports so far are mind-blowing: A mother may have purposely set the fire that killed her 11-month-old daughter. She and her 2-year-old escaped.

Could this just all be a terrible mistake? Did she intend to burn down the home, but not injure her children??

What do you think?

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It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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Our readers appear to be torn over who should be blamed for the sex scandal at Glades Middle School in Miramar.

It's important to note that not all facts on the case have been revealed. Here's what we do know:

Three 7th graders have been suspended and face expulsion for alleged "inappropriate sexual conduct." The school district on Wednesday used the word "perpetrators" to describe the three students (two boys, one girl). A short time later, police issued a news release indicating there were others involved in the case who were described as "victims."

School district spokesman Keith Bromery said Wednesday that two teachers were reassigned as part of the investigation because the behavior is alleged to have occurred in their classrooms.

And that's one part of the story that seems to have parents upset. To put it delicately, what exactly was this "inappropriate sexual conduct," and how could it have taken place in a classroom without a teacher noticing? The more serious the misconduct, the harder it is to believe a teacher didn't notice it.

So how serious was it?

Meanwhile, other readers who are responding to the story think we should be blaming the parents of the three suspended students. Teach them right from wrong, they argue, and we won't be reading about sex in the classroom.

That may be true, but it doesn't account for teenage rebellion. I mean, if Franklin Graham could go through a period of rebellion (despite the efforts of his father -- a preacher named Billy whose name you might recognize), how can anyone automatically blame the parents when teens go astray?

"Not only do kids rebel -- kids need to rebel," said Jaclynn Faffer, chief executive officer of Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca, which runs a hotline for teens who need counseling.

Unfortunately, she said, sometimes teen rebellion can go too far, particularly when parental influence is outweighed by other factors. "Once kids are entering adolescence, peer groups have much more influence than parents," she said. Add to that a pervasive media and the Internet, and the job of keeping kids in line becomes more difficult for even the most involved parents.

Not that Faffer lets parents off the hook: "There is still the reality that parents need to spend time with their kids, talk to them, open a dialogue. And that needs to start at a young age."

Other readers are blaming school administrators, the principal and even the alleged victims, who didn't begin reporting the incidents until last Thursday.

Blame the perpetrators? Blame the victims? Blame the teachers? Blame the parents? Blame the school?

We know the old saying: it takes a village to raise a child. Is the whole village, then, to blame?

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What do we tell our kids about why people are protesting our governor's wedding on Friday?

According to GaySoFla.com, members of Impact-Florida will protest Gov. Charlie Crist's wedding to Carol Rome at a St. Petersburg church and will follow the reception to the Renaissance Vinoy.

The protesters want to point out that Crist, who voted for Amendment 2, has the right to marry, a right they believe gays and lesbians should also have.

After the demonstration, participants plan to gather at the Green Iguana, a bar in Tampa where Crist hung out as a bachelor.

Although I want to be up front with my kids about sexual issues, I often get tongue tied after the first sentence or two. I found some good suggestions here on how to keep the conversations on gay marriage simple and direct.

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OK, moral dilemma here. Someone on the condo board asked me recently what I think about the building’s “no pets” policy. There's a movement afoot to reconsider the policy, and as a board member, I might have some sway in the matter.

So here’s the question: Is it OK to support changing the policy to benefit my kids if I wouldn’t otherwise? I grew up with pets, and it’s generally made me a better person (or at least I hope). There are also practical benefits, like cats keeping mice away. Still, truth be told, I don’t want everyone to get a pet. I just want one for my kids. Even then I wonder how a cat or a dog would fit in our condo.

As you can see, I’d like the option for my kids. But as an owner, I worry about people failing to take care of their animals, both for the sake of the animal and the building. So it’s the personal vs. the collective good here. In the immortal words of Bernie Mac, America, what should I do?

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The Sun Sentinel reported that a first-grader wielding a kitchen knife robbed a 6-year-old classmate of one dollar at a Pembroke Pines school.

What is wrong with our children, their parents?? I'm looking for seriously constructive advice, here. Parents of reformed bullies speak out: what did you learn from the experience?

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Among the many details that have emerged about the murders of almost 200 people in Mumbai, including Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and his wife, Rivkah, is that two of their children have suffered from Tay-Sachs, a deadly genetic disease.

It's a lipid storage disorder often found among Jews of Eastern European descent. The children become blind and deaf and their muscles atrophy. There is no cure and they die at a young age.

The Holtzbergs had one son who died of the disease and another who is currently being treated for it in an Israeli hospital. Rivkah Holtzberg was pregnant when she was killed. The couple also has a two-year-old son, Moshe, who apparently witnessed the murder of his parents but was rescued by his nanny.

Clearly the couple knew they were carriers, but as Orthodox Jews, they likely believed God commanded them to have many children. It's a devastating dilemma that many of us have to go through to different degrees in our own lives.

There's a Boca Raton-based foundation, the Matthew Forbes Romer Foundation, that assists people with questions about genetic disorders. Click here for more information.

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I love the Rev. Ed Young's acronym for KIDS: Keeping Intimacy at a Distance Successfully.

Young, pastor of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, created the "Seven Days of Sex" program, in which he encourages his churchgoers to have sex every day for a week. He promises it will improve their relationships. There's a branch of Young's church in South Miami.

Young says kids are often used as an excuse for couples not to have sex. This is not news to anyone who is married, although few want to admit it. It takes a lot of work to maintain an intimate life in the face of jobs, house payments, a sour economy, whining kids and a million other commitments.

So I think Young, pictured here with his wife, is on to something with this "sexperiment," as he calls it. It will be interesting to see if it leads to a happier congregation or even more divorces.

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We just started researching pre-K for my three-year-old Ana Isabel.

Talk about daunting. There's hundreds of programs out there. So we've started by asking for recommendations from friends. We plan to visit some sites. And then we turned to the Internet.

That's when I came across the State of Florida Department of Education Voluntary Prekindergarten (VPK) Program Provider Kindergarten Readiness Rate Website.

A mouthful, for sure. But basically it rates VPK programs. It measures how well VPK providers prepare children for kindergarten using state standards.

You can check out one program, all providers in a city or the entire state for that matter.

I did a quick check of those that were recommended to us. It raised a question or two about one. But we'll still visit, ask those question and then make a decision.

Just for fun, I downloaded all the VPK providers in Broward and Palm Beach counties and then did a quick ranking.

The top score, or readiness rate, is 300, That means 100 percent of the students in that program were deemed ready for kindergarten. Those programs with low scores are required to provide an improvement plan to the state. And some programs, while listed, didn't have enough students for the state to measure.

Take a look. See how the program where you send your kid, or want to send or kid, did.

Broward County Palm Beach County

If nothing else, it's a starting point for questions for your VPK provider.

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Teens who are more comfortable talking about their problems electronically might prefer this new counseling service offered by the Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca.

Teen Talk offers professional therapy for troubled teens no matter where they live. They can communicate by e-mail (markc@rrjfs.org) or phone (561-852-3333 or 800-393-5397) with a licensed clinical social worker.

The site is cited in the November issue of YouthToday, a national newspaper for people who work with kids.

It's a great idea. How many teens make an appointment with their school counselor when they have a problem? Or ask their parents if they can talk privately with a therapist? This way, they can remain anonymous and unload on a professional who will make sure they get quality help in a style they're comfortable with.

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This has become a familiar line in the household. Our sons, ages 1 and 2-and-a-half, are taking to taking their frustrations out on each other. You’d think that it would be driven by the older one, but no, both engage in this age-old sibling tradition. I never expected to order my 1-year-old to “stop hitting.” I mean, he can’t even say the word! It seemed like that parental refrain would be saved for later years.

My question is whether, psychologically, they can understand at this age that it’s wrong. We can tell them not to do it, and that will have an effect. We remove treats, take away fun trips and put them on a time out. So maybe the association of hitting-leading-to-disappointment is what we hope for at this point. But I wonder: How can we get toddlers to understand that hitting is inherently bad? What worked for you?

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I remember when the Internet and other new technologies started becoming popular around 15 or so years ago and everyone thought it would cause families to communicate less and become isolated from each other.

A study released this week by the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that not only wasn't that true, the opposite happened. The technology has allowed us to have a "new connectedness."

Cell phones, e-mail and texting allow us to keep in touch when we're not together. Families go on-line together; I am always asking my kids to show me how to find things on the Internet and visa versa.

But the technology can also create tensions. "Those with multiple communication devices are somewhat less likely to eat dinner with other household members and somewhat less likely to report high levels of satisfaction with their family and leisure time than are families with lower levels of technology ownership."

Have you found technology has aided you in relating to your kids? Or is it more a source of friction?

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As a kid, I felt very insecure when my parents would tell me about their cash-flow problems. What was I supposed to do with that information? So I have been hesitant to talk to my girls about our national and personal financial challenges.

Despite my hesitations, the news is almost impossible to avoid. I am trying to figure out the best way to begin the conversation.

I told my nine-year-old she could no longer take gymnastics at her favorite place because it is too expensive ($97 a month for a weekly lesson). I could see she felt bad, and confused. To her, the idea that it is "expensive" is pretty meaningless. And she wasn't sure what to do with the fact that a place she loved was putting a burden on the family. I found another gym that was less costly, but she declined.

Parenting Web sites, such as ParentCentral.ca, tell you this national crisis is a good time for kids to learn the value of money and how to economize. Sure, they can start saving their pennies. But how much do you tell them to convey the enormity of the crisis? It just seems like a heavy load for young kids to absorb.

What kind of economic conversations have you been having with your kids?

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Atlanta's gas crisis appears to be over, but for some reason I am fearful that our South Florida stations also will run out of gas.

Every time I pass the cheapest gas station near my house now, I fill up, even if I only need a quarter of a tank.

Metro Atlanta stations ran out of gas after Hurricane Ike late last month. Experts said the pipeline that brings gas to "the Southeast" (not sure why it didn't affect us here) got disrupted. So Atlanta stations started placing limits on how much gas you could buy. Many ran out of gas and didn't get refills for days, creating miles-long lines at stations that did have gas.

My state of panic is not helped by my gas-guzzling minivan. It means I have to top off my car every three or four days! Please help me calm down and allay my fears that we will always have plenty of gas in South Florida (ha!).

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