A British survey found that more than 8 percent of parents regret the name they gave their child.

I can’t say I’m surprised. There are many among us who thought we had a one of a kind names picked out for our daughter or son only to learn the first day of school that there were three or four others in the same class!

Or worst yet, some celebrity with the same name as your precious little one surface, leaving big shoes to fill.

A mom recently posted in a Jamaican newspaper that she regretted naming her child Beyonce because it elicits raised eyebrows and smirks.

The survey on name regret was done by yourbabydomainname.com.

According to the survey, girls names to avoid include: Apple, Chardonnay, Peaches and Madonna. Boys names included: Beckam, Axl, Kai, Kester, Jordan and Joaquin.

By Lisa J. Huriash

I am outraged over Target’s baby coupon policy.

Remember Seinfeld’s Soup Nazi? This is the equivalent of No Coupons For You!

Apparently Target has a baby mailer with oodles of coupons for diapers, formula, pacifiers, bottles, and baby food - among many other items.

The mailer comes to your house for years on end. My colleague’s daughter is 8 and she’s been getting the mailings (for diapers!) since the girl was a baby.

But the rub is you have to cross your fingers and get chosen for The List.

I first heard about the mailings from my national mom’s group where the ladies raved about it. Get a registry, they urged, to get on The List.

Continue reading "Target’s baby policy not on target" »

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released its new car seat guidelines for children. A “Today Moms” article summed up the changes:

• Children should ride rear-facing to age 2, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for their seat. (The old policy from 2002 cited age 12 months and 20 pounds as a minimum for when to turn a seat around.)
• Children should use a booster seat until they have reached 4 feet 9 inches tall and are between 8 and 12 years old.
• Children should ride in the rear of a vehicle until they are 13 years old.

I remember how happy I was the day I got to turn my 1-year-old son’s car seat around. I have a two-door car, which I have no plans of getting rid of because it’s paid off, and the bigger he got, the harder it was to lift him into a rear-facing seat. He is tall for his age, too, and I can’t imagine he would have been able to remain rear-facing until he turned 2. He’s just too tall, and his legs would have been crunched.

Some moms are having trouble accepting the guidelines. The “Today Moms” article quotes a mom of three who isn’t planning on following the new rules:

Carolyn Murray of West Milford, New Jersey, has already transitioned two of her three kids out of car seats. While Murray's 6-year-old son James still uses a booster, daughters, Samantha, 9, and Emily, 11, haven't had one for years.

Murray isn't planning on following the guidelines, saying that most of her driving is in town and not on highways, and she doesn't want the hassle of needing extra car seats when she drives her kids' friends.

Plus, she says she could never get her 11-year-old to comply: “She would fight it.”

"I agree it's probably safer with short children, since seatbelts can cut into their neck. But there's no way she is going to sit in a booster seat. It's an image thing."

Emily says sitting in a booster seat simply isn't cool. “My friends would laugh.”

Even though the guidelines seem inconvenient, I think it’s probably still better to follow them. I would never forgive myself I was in an accident, and my kids were injured because of my refusal to conform to rules that were created solely for their safety.

For more details about the guidelines, visit http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/carseat2011.htm.

What is it with toddlers wanting to eat only white foods? White bread, white pasta, white cheese… I am beyond frustrated that my 3-year-old son who once ate myriad foods now refuses anything that isn't a white carbohydrate.

Well, that's not entirely true - he does eat yogurt, fruit and cereal. But a child can't possibly be as healthy as can be with a diet consisting of only five or six foods.

Green vegetables have always been an issue, but at least he used to eat things I could hide them in - mashed potatoes, rice, etc. Now he won't even eat those foods, so I'm just completely out of ideas.

I think it has something to do with the texture and look of something. My son eats pizza, which has sauce, but he won't eat pasta with the same sauce. And he loves pasta, but only bow-tie pasta. Give him spaghetti, and he has a meltdown. The exception is macaroni and cheese. He'll eat that no matter the shape of the pasta.

I recently tried a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, but he didn't like the way it looked and wouldn't even touch it. I got him to eat some of it by tearing it up into pieces and hand-feeding him like I did when he was a baby. Every meal is like this. I have to chase him around with a bite of food because he refuses to eat it on his own. Sometimes he'll agree to take a bite of something but then chew it up and spit it out (usually with meat).

My pediatrician says to serve him his food and give no other options as to not create a monster. If he doesn't eat, then he goes to bed hungry. But it's hard for me to send him to bed hungry and say no to that sad little face when he asks for something else. I don't know if it's a control thing on his behalf or if he genuinely doesn't yet understand why he doesn't get the food he wants.

So what is a frustrated mother to do? Send him to bed hungry every night, send him to timeout, take away his favorite toy or give in and hope one day he outgrows his picky phase?

In Broward, Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties, public schools are in recess March 14 - March 18.

I was chatting with a co-worker who is still considering options - including taking the week off to be with her daughter and participate in a swimming program.

But for many parents, that's not a possibility.

In the past - I've enrolled my kid in tennis camp, martial arts and general park camps. He's spent school day holidays at a science museum; taking swimming lessons; and with family.

Depending on the child's age - parents of pre-K and early elementary age children might not want them in camps that go on field trips - or emphasize day-long outdoor activities.

But a half-day camp could be a problem for parents who lack transportation or flexibility with work and bosses.

Network with other parents of children who attend your child's pre-K/ elementary- or middle school. Ask where their kid is going to spend spring break. See if you can partner up on transportation and other resources.

South Florida has a wealth of venues and activities for kids of all ages.

Check out our own South Florida Parenting for its camp guide; and each issue is chockablock full of activities and resources for kids.

Admittedly, most people have moved on and are already planning on what to do with their kids for the summer break. And most camp ads are going to promote those programs.

So, are you still planning on planning what to do with you child for Spring Break? Then, what are you waiting for?

I was so happy to walk into day care and see one of my 3-year-old son’s male classmates in an apron during dress-up time. As I surveyed the room, I noticed a bunch of the boys were wearing similar items. My son went straight for the bucket of baby dolls, and he wasn’t alone.

It was refreshing that the teachers let the boys play with what they want, even if the things they choose are typically labeled as girl toys.

Masculinity oftentimes excludes things like playing with babies, cooking and cleaning. But I think it’s time we challenge those notions. Why should a boy be discouraged from playing with dolls? Just from watching the toddler boys gravitate to the “girly” cooking toys and baby dolls makes it clear that they have the same interest in those types of activities as girls do. And if they’re allowed to experiment with them as kids, perhaps they will continue to show an interest in those activities as adults.

I came across an interesting article about a mom who bought her son a play kitchen. She said her husband cooks, and her son wants to be like daddy. She said people teased her about buying such a “girly” toy for her son, but I applaud her for not trying to mold her son into what mainstream culture says he should be. Read the article here.

The same should go for girls. I’m having my baby girl in two months, and I plan to let her play with whichever of my son’s toys she wants. Why not let her explore all that’s out there? She may not even like his trucks, but she’ll have the chance to find out for herself.

Do you let your sons play with girl toys and vice-versa? Do you think it’s healthy or harmful?

Your kid could cook up his or her own college fund with a vegan dish.

Who knew a couple of peas and carrots could add up to $5,000?

Well, it can – if your kid has the right ingredients.

Check out this opportunity: South Florida high school seniors in Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties can enter the It’s Vegalicious Vegan Recipe Scholarship contest to win a $5,000 scholarship towards their college education.

Read more about it in John Tanasychuk’s SUP blog.

I wish my son was a senior. I’d have him in the kitchen so fast. Actually, he’s a self-described foodie – and he enjoys the restaurant of contest sponsor, Sublime. Whole Foods is co-sponsor.

Fortunately, my son has a couple of years to practice before he qualifies to enter the contest: He’s already perfected a spaghetti sauce and he makes awesome black beans.

What’s your child’s culinary specialty?

Follow me on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

It all began one day with a cold glass of lemonade….

When Demario Anderson’s grandmother announced to the family she got laid off from her job, about two years ago, he got her a cold glass of lemonade to help her relax. Soon, they settled into a deep discussion about the economy, how everything is connected. They talked about how bad decisions and get rich quick gimmicks make everyone suffer. They talked about how families are the true support system, how that translates into a strong and giving community, and how consumerism isn’t just about spending and buying, but it’s also about informed strategic planning.

That discussion set Demario on a nearly two-year odyssey of his own: to write a book: Young Economist: Simple Ideas to Help a Financially Hurting Country From a 12 Year Old; published 2010; $19.99 Paradise – MC, Memphis, TN. at Rhino's Nation or Amazon.

With the help and mentoring of his father, Dean Anderson, the book’s co-author, Demario, now a 14-year-old marine magnet middle school student in Fort Lauderdale, interviewed family,

What I read, was a book about a father and son, written from the heart.

Imagine as you read: it’s in the voice of 12-year old Demario hungering for knowledge, answers, justification. Like the constant tugging on one’s shirttail for attention, the questions are ceaseless. Picture a father and son on a walk and the son looks up to his father –but at the same time they’re side-by-side as they try to unravel why things are the way they are in the world.

“My dad is my friend and role model,” said Demario in a recent interview. “When I’m learning stuff, he’s always there to help me. He’s very patient.”

Together, the father/son duo take "field trips" to the library, grocery store and community centers. To get answers and perspective, they talked with local religious leaders and church members. They listened to the stories of their neighbors and family elders.

Chapter by chapter, Demario’s little-boy-dismay-over-misbehaving-adults is evident as he recounts a 2009 Time magazine article on how Hedge Fund players “took advantage of people’s lack of knowledge,” He’s incredulous over the human capacity for greed and uses Bernie Madoff as a prime example. He’s intolerant over the lack of common sense behaviors: that if people drove safer, acted more responsibly, that could ultimately mean reducing the cost of healthcare, utility bills, education; and in communities.

In the book, Demario’s youthful optimism voices throughout with solutions: save, learn: become informed; help out neighbors and in the community.

Families should eat their meals together to forge stronger bonds, writes Demario. Prevent domestic abuse by keeping the lines of communication open. Build entrepreneurial spirit: as a matter of course, challenge students to work together on outside-the-box creative ideas. Plan ahead: choose when to invest in home repairs over vacations or a night out on the town; Demario and his dad provide economical meal and snack ideas.

In closing, Demario’s poignant message is a call to action for all: walk arm-in-arm-to the finish line: as a family and as a community.

But the story doesn’t end there says Dean Anderson, who feels it was his absolute duty to support his son's journey.

“Each generation comes and goes,” Anderson said. “And if you want the world to change, you better be there for your kids. Sit down and listen, answer questions and talk to your sons and daughters."

UPDATE: Dean and Demario sent a YouTube link promoting the book.

My wife used to tell me that I had a problem hearing her when the TV was on. I mostly blew it off that she was exaggerating, until I observed the same behavior in my father shortly thereafter. Now I'm starting to see it in my daughter, and she is only seven. Yikes.

The morning routine in our house usually involves my wife and I taking turns getting up with the early risers, and the first step when we hit the couch is to turn on the TV. I have no problem with morning cartoons, but what I do have a problem with is how my daughter seems to be unable to focus on anything else while the TV is on. The constant "Payton! Put your shoes on!" and "Listen, please! Brush your hair!" has become such an issue for us that my wife and I are going to start banning TV in our morning routine.

I was glad to see this article today where a mother made her teens go 6 months without Internet, cell, iPod or TV as an experiment. Things went well for her, so I hope they will go equally well for us! I'll update on our progress soon. Have you tried this with your family?

Photo by Mykl Roventine

We all know how time flies.

Fast forward, and our youth is but a blur, compared to our daily lives now full of responsibilities.

So why rush it, right?

But my son has the opportunity to participate in a dual enrollment program: College Academy – when he graduates high school, he will also have completed his first two years of college and graduate with an Associates of Arts college degree.

The program begins when he enters 11th grade. He'll be on a college campus where he will finish up high school and be a college student at the same time.

I think that’s awesome. I see more advantages than disadvantages.

I’m not pushing him either way on this decision. That’s because it will be on him to continue his good grades and be successful.

I’m not pushing him on the decision because he’ll be the one leaving some friends behind. Sure, he’ll make new ones: and some of his friends will also join the academy.

I’m not pushing him on the decision because still, there is that voice inside me that says he shouldn’t give up what he knows. He’ll give up becoming the big man on campus, and having the opportunity to mentor younger students… in addition to hanging with friends.

What do you think? Should kids stick with their high school programs? Should they leave college to the big boys and girls? Will it stunt his social growth? Will it short-change his youth?

It’s a wonderful crossroads to be at: it’s nice to be able to mull over opportunities.

We’ll be attending an open house, question and answers session next week. And some of his friends have already encouraged him to go for it.

Whether you find it controversial or revolutionary, the recent talk about the Chinese mother vs. the Western mother, fueled by the recent “Wall Street Journal” article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” and a “Today Show” segment on the topic, has been getting a lot of mothers — and fathers — talking.

Amy Chua, the article’s author, refers to “the term ‘Chinese mother’ loosely.” She includes mothers from other countries, such as Korea, India, Jamaica, Ireland and Ghana, as well. The same goes for Western mothers.

The claim is that Western mothers aren’t as strict as Chinese mothers — that they believe pushing their children academically isn’t good for their children, while Chinese mothers believe pushing their children is exactly what they need because children inherently don’t want to work on their own. Chinese mothers believe that something is not fun until success is achieved and that praise should not be given until this point. Chinese mothers believe that learning does not have to be fun.

Chua also claims that Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can’t. Her example was when her father called her “garbage” when she showed disrespect. Where Western mothers would be concerned this would damage their child’s self-esteem, Chua claims it did nothing of the sort. It instead made her feel shame for her actions.

Here’s another example from the article:

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty—lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of “health” and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chua says Western parents have to deal with “their own conflicted feelings about achievement” and are “extremely anxious about their children’s self-esteem.”

As a mother of very young children, I have yet to experience the joys and trials of success in school and extracurricular activities, but the self-esteem issue has not been out of my sight. This is an issue for most Western mothers from the time their children are babies — not knowing how much praise to give infants for sitting up, clapping, eating and walking. I, for one, gushed over my son’s every new move as a baby; I just couldn’t help it. But self-esteem overload in children and teens is a different matter I have yet to tap into.

Chua says pushing your children past the “I just can’t do it” moments is key:

But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there’s nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn’t.

What do you think? Is the Chinese method better, is the Western method better, or are there values in both?

I went to a funeral this week that was sudden and awful and beautiful, all at the same time.

Robert was just 48. He left a wonderful wife and 15 year old daughter who is poised beyond her years.

At the viewing and at the funeral, young Hailey's friends -- so many! -- came with open arms for the grieving family. They were so respectful.

Hailey spoke with wisdom. Her close friends and cousins overcame their nerves to share very poignant thoughts about her father.

None of it was right. Kids shouldn't have to stand before a room of teary-eyed adults and help them understand their pain.

But there they were, these young men and women. Strong and articulate and genuine.

Robert must be so proud.

Day care often sends home memos in my son’s lunchbox. “Need more diapers, please.” “Tomorrow is pizza day.” “Please do not dress your child in superhero attire for school.” Wait. What was that?

My son doesn’t have any superhero T-shirts, but I was curious, so I asked the director about it. She said it affects the children’s behavior on the playground and in the classroom. They are more rambunctious and try to copy the actions of the particular superhero on their T-shirt.

I thought superheroes were supposed to teach us to love good and fight evil, so why are they making our children “evil” on the playground?

I don’t know about you, but most superhero movies I’ve seen are pretty mature and seem like they were made for adults. I haven’t watched many superhero cartoons, but the new Iron Man and Batman movies are most definitely adult movies.

What are the kids who watch these movies taking away from them? If they’re too young to grasp themes and concepts put forth in the movies, they must just be focusing on the action and violence. And if that’s the case, why are kids being allowed to see these movies?

The end of the memo reads, “Jesus is our superhero.” Sounds like a much more gentle approach.

Do you let your kids watch superhero movies? If so, do you notice any changes in their behavior?

While spending a weekend up in Daytona Beach, I came across an article about Flagler Palm Coast High School’s recent announcement that it will use a grant from the Florida Department of Health's Healthy Communities, Healthy People program to provide a room for nursing mothers, complete with a breast pump, seating, a refrigerator and access to a lactation consultant.

It’s exciting to see a grant like this going to encourage breast-feeding. I hope the concept catches on in more work environments.

I know it can be difficult for some new mothers to find a private, comfortable place to pump when they return to work after giving birth. I remember being moved from one empty office to another and feeling embarrassed that the person in the adjacent office could hear the sound of the pump through the wall, especially if that person was a man.

The article says it’s especially challenging for teachers because they need to find someone to watch their classroom while they pump.

The article quotes Pat Lindsey, a lactation consultant and president of the Florida Breastfeeding Coalition, who says many women don’t feel comfortable breast-feeding at work (maybe because there usually aren’t adequate accommodations for nursing mothers?) but that women who breast-feed are more productive and have lower health care costs than mothers who don’t breast-feed.

Also quoted was Deborah Saulsbury, a regional coordinator for Communities Putting Prevention to Work, a Department of Health and Human Services initiative, who said, “Everybody knows about the benefits, but people don't realize how that translates into dollars saved for the district because the teachers aren't absent as much.”

She added that most women whose workplace is not breast-feeding-friendly will switch to formula within about 30 days.

Lindsey said having a place to pump "is a necessity for a great deal of women in the workplace. More women have gone to work, and they are still mothers. They need to be able to be a mother and also be able to do what they need to do."

Read the full article here.

Sitting up, crawling, walking — easy. Learning how to count, memorizing the alphabet, spelling words — no problem. Potty training? Our worst nightmare.

My son, Copelan, will be 3 on March 24, and he won’t move up to the 3-year-old room at day care until he’s fully potty trained. No more training pants. Just underwear. I don’t think my son even knows what underwear is.

He’s an especially happy toddler. It takes a lot to get him mad or throw a temper tantrum. But if I want to make him upset, all I have to do is ask if he wants to sit on the potty. He literally runs away screaming. I’ve tried everything — child potty seat, a portable singing potty, an Elmo potty seat, potty DVD, potty books, bribery with candy, and anything else you can think of.

I don’t want him to fall behind and have to be separated from his friends because of his resistance to the potty. He is my first child, so I’m not familiar with when exactly most kids get fully potty-trained, but to me, 3 seems too young to be completely trained.

I know that Copelan understands the concept because he’s had a couple successes, but I think he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to just sit on a boring potty, especially if he doesn’t have to go. And it doesn’t help that I’m pretty clueless when it comes to spotting the signs that he has to go.

Does anyone have any special methods that have proved effective? And what are your thoughts on a reasonable age for a boy to be fully potty-trained?

We have friends who, despite all their planning and painstaking efforts to hide Christmas gifts - one of their kids found at least one. And it wasn't just any old stocking stuffer: it was the big daddy of the season - a video game system.

At first, the discoverer was feeling very victorious. But needless to say, everyone was upset - including the sibling who told on him. The parents were frustrated and a bit deflated. Still, they're giving him the present on Christmas day.

So, what gift-hiding tricks do you practice? Where is the best place to hide a gift? If your child discovered where the stash of presents were hidden - would you still give those gifts? Would you punish him or her?

If my kid discovered something meant as a gift for him - depending on the age - obviously I'd explain the concept of a surprise. As he gets older, I expect more common sense and sensitivity on his part.

I have to admit, sometimes I've hidden things in plain sight. And right now, I'm just hoping he doesn't decide he has to clean under his bed between now and Christmas!

If you’re a working parent, then you know that taking a few days off around a holiday can sometimes be more work than play — not just around the house with the kids home from school, but at work, too, trying to get everything done before you leave the office for a few days.

Lots of parents overwork themselves so they don’t feel guilty about taking a real break. I know that if I don’t get everything done on my list, I can’t fully relax.

Being busy and trying to do too much can make it hard to see what’s really important in life. Do as much as you can and learn to let go what can wait.

So if on Thanksgiving your mind is racing or if you’re stressed out with work or the holidays, try focusing on what’s in front of you, not what isn’t. Enjoy the extra time you have with your family all together, and worry about your to-do list later. Thirty years from now, when you look back on your life, you’ll wish you did.

Have a relaxed Thanksgiving!

Barbie’s latest commercial, which I saw for the first time last night, was pleasantly surprising. I loved playing with Barbie dolls as a kid, but as an adult, I found myself hating on Barbie because of how the dolls influence young girls to think they have to look a certain way to be beautiful and focus too much on looks.


But Barbie’s new commercial promoting its “over 125 careers and counting” slogan has me wondering if I was too harsh on Barbie. Maybe she’s just misunderstood and I judged her too soon. I never really looked at Barbie as a career woman.


I was curious about some of her career choices, so I went to Barbie.com to check them out. Her first career in 1959 was a teenage fashion model (typical Barbie), and in 1960, she got promoted to fashion editor (OK, she’s trying). While she added executive to her resume in 1963, it wasn’t until the 1980s that she ventured into careers traditionally dominated by men.


Culture probably had something to do with that, but in the past 10 years, her list of careers has really expanded. Highlights include presidential candidate, race car driver, computer engineer, news anchor and dentist. It seems Barbie is trying to change her message — that girls should strive to be all they can be — and it doesn’t hurt to look pretty along the way. (Why do women have to wear masculine-looking suits to be taken seriously, anyway?) Or maybe she’s just trying to get people to see her for the career woman she is.


But I wonder if I’m just an ignorant consumer letting a good marketing campaign fool me. Or maybe I should give Barbie another chance. Do you think Barbie is becoming a better influence on our young ones?

Continue reading "Cross-dressing kids on Halloween" »

That’s right – don’t forget – this year set clocks back one hour on Sunday, Nov. 7th.

Since a kid, I’ve remembered the phrase, "Spring forward, Fall back." It keeps me on track and on time.

Only, if “Fall back,” means 6 a.m. will become 5 a.m. – I can shut the alarm off and fall back into bed – right? And if I oversleep an hour, I really won’t be late to work, will I?

My son won’t have to rush to catch the bus – and he’ll have an extra hour for homework and chores! Not really, but I know it will seem like it to me at least for a while.

Getting littler ones to bed or getting them up and out might be more of a challenge.

In fact, if your child is at that “learning to tell time,” stage – this is a great opportunity to teach them how to tell time. Start with a nice big image of an analog clock.

Showing them how the “big hand” and “little hand” rotate around helps them to relate to the concept of time moving. (Don’t worry, they’ll pick up on the idea that “time flies,” soon enough, when they’re about our age.)

Be patient. You know that other saying: “What goes around comes around.”

Just when we’re getting in sync with our internal clocks, we’ll be resetting our external clocks again before you know it.

You can read more time change facts at About.com

There are a lot of resources for teaching/learning to tell time. Search the web for clock images to download and print for your child to color.

Go to YouTube and search for It Gets Better. Or go to ItGetsBetterProject.com.

There you will find an astonishing collection of videos of adults speaking directly to teens who are gay or confused about their sexuality, who feel different and are frequently bullied because of who they are. These videos are very simply telling kids: If you are feeling tormented in high school, hold on, don't do anything drastic: Life gets better.

The brainchild of radio host and columnist Dan Savage, the It Gets Better Project has taken on a life of its own on the Internet.

Hundreds and hundreds of videos, new ones being added every day, with the power to reach out and touch that kid sitting in his or her room, tormented and feeling alone. Parents of those kids who don't know how to help.

The recent news reports of bullied gay teens committing suicide prompted Savage and his husband Terry to make a video and post it on YouTube. Soon, other gay adults were making their own short messages. Celebrities have gotten on board, gay and straight.

There are videos by Chris Colfer of Glee and pop stars like Ke$ha and Jason Derulo. The cast of Wicked. Bishop Gene Robinson, an openly gay Episcopal church leader. This week President Obama added his message.

But the most powerful videos are from average folks. The kid from small town Iowa or the South. The videos from gay Christians, Mormons and Muslims, all saying, Don't feel alone. Know that I exist, too.

This is something every teenager, gay or straight, should see.

Working Mother magazine surveyed more than 4,600 working moms, stay-at-home moms, working dads and singles for its “What Moms Think: The Working Mother Report,” which came out this week.


Some of the main findings include: moms who view their jobs as a career rather than just a paycheck were more satisfied with life overall; male managers are big supporters of working moms; and men and women feel a deep ambivalence when wives out-earn their husbands.


But one finding in particular really got me thinking: Though moms view flexibility as a benefit, men are more likely to use it or have jobs that offer flexibility. I work from home two days a week. I’m grateful that I have co-workers and supervisors who understand and support the work-life balance. But not all working moms view working at home as a positive thing.


According to the report, women tend to “apologize” for taking time off work by using paid time off. It showed men were more likely to just leave work if they have to take a child to the doctor, while women would take official time off for the same activity.


Valerie Voorheis, an economics professor at the University of Massachusetts in Amherst, said it’s different for working moms. “Women don’t want to push it,” she said. “They don’t want to be stereotyped as moms, so they’ll miss the soccer game but stay home when the kids are sick.”
Carol Evans, president of Working Mother Media, said, “When a woman says she’s going to take her daughter to the dentist, people think she’s shirking her job. If the father takes her, people think, ‘Oh, you’re so great.’”


Are old-school conceptions of working mothers still entrenched in some deep part of the American mind? Do some people still believe that mothers are less reliable? Do some working moms subconsciously work extra hard or put in longer hours to prove that’s not the case? I think they do. People say feminism isn’t needed anymore, but I disagree. Sure, women have equal rights, but why then do many working moms sometimes feel like they have to “make up” for the fact that they have children?


For more on the report, visit www.WorkingMother.com.

Kids today (I know, I’m sounding like my parents here) have it too easy. They can blast out a message via Facebook or Twitter. They can send a text message or instant message to a buddy. They can chat via game systems.

And they don’t have to leave their couch, house, chair or the mall – or wherever they're hanging out. And now comes voting – early voting and even voting by e-mail.

I know early voting breaks tradition, but to me – at least for now – I cherish the process of going in person to vote.

There is value in being around others who exercise the freedom to vote, to gather in person to do so, despite our differences, opinions and politics.

My son should see this. He and his generation should never let the ease of technology minimize the process of thinking, choosing, doing.

It takes more effort that hitting “send.” It takes active participation.

It may be a new generation of iPad and iPod. But it’s still – I vote.

Check out the Broward County Supervisor of Elections for more voting and elections information.

Hosting a party for your teen is one thing, but 600 drunken kids in your house is complete lunacy. In case you haven't seen the story, a couple in Boca Raton allowed their 16- and 17-year-olds to host a homecoming party in their house. Fine. However, the parents claim that they never left their bedroom in their 17,000-square-foot house while 600 kids got wasted and puked all over their property. Sorry, not buying it. The "we didn't know" defense won't cut it, at least not in the court of public opinion.

Now, don't get me wrong, I went to plenty of parties when I was in high school. Heck, I even threw a pretty good one (albeit in my garage while my mom was out of the country, something I still haven't lived down over 20 years later). I completely understand the teen's point of view on this one, but what I'm missing is HOW IN THE HELL COULD THE PARENTS ALLOW THIS?!?! If they were out of town and didn't know, that is one thing, but these parents helped plan the damn thing! Kudos to them for hiring security and charter buses for sober cabs, but to claim that they had no idea kids were drinking and trashing their house is an insult to any parent.

Jose Lambiet from The Palm Beach Post has a few photos on his blog, as well as a copy of the police report.

I'm at a loss that the parents aren't in jail over this. How can the police find 600 underage kids drunk, but only arrest 8? Did they hand out any tickets for underage drinking? Four kids were taken to the hospital, for crying out loud!

I'm sure we're going to hear many more details about this party in the next few days, but I want to hear from parents out there. Would you ever allow your teen to host a party in your house and not check in? Do you believe the parents' claim of ignorance?

Photo © Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

We help our parents. We do for our kids. And at the end of the day, we get a good night’s sleep – mostly because we drop from exhaustion.

But we have to take time for ourselves. Sure the massage, pedicure and a glass of wine are on the top 10 of the list.

But getting an annual physical and mammogram should be #1 – though I happen to know it gets pushed way down to about #25.

Today, I took care of #1, me.

I got my annual mammogram.

Go take care of you. Whether it’s a physical and mammogram or just a physical, get it. You’ll feel better. Besides, what good is a sandwich without a middle?

Now I’m going to enjoy those other guilty pleasures, without the guilt.

I don't think there are many people out there who could argue the value of a stay-at-home mom (or dad), but how much would her salary be?

We are fortunate enough to have my wife at home to raise our kids instead of sending them off to daycare. As much as my wife says that she loves her job, it still comes with challenges like any other career. In fact, most times the issues surpass anything most of us would experience in the workplace. At least most of our coworkers can be reasoned with and don't cry when they don't get their way (note I said "most"). Any parent who is home with the kids has to be a housekeeper, teacher, cook, chauffeur, psychologist, janitor, nurse, CEO, entertainer — and there is no fancy school to prepare you for this job.

Well, the folks at MySalary.com have devised a Mom Salary Wizard to help you put an actual number to the job description. They based their calculator on survey responses from more than 28,000 mothers, so there is some solid research behind this. Take the survey and share your results with us. The average annual salary for the typical stay-at-home parent? $117,856 working 98.9 hours a week.

No matter what this calculator says, I think we all can agree that you can't really put a value on what mothers accomplish — it truly is priceless.

Hey Moms and Dads, Grandparents and babysitters, check out our new and improved South Florida Parenting website.

For 20 years, South Florida Parenting magazine has been the go-to guide for families, with an exhaustive calendar of events, articles, resources and more. You can pick up the monthly print edition at about 2,400 kids-oriented businesses around South Florida. The October edition is full of Halloween events and ideas.

The new webpage, produced in collaboration with the Sun Sentinel, has everything you'll find in print, and more. There's info on camps, party planning and schools. And it's constantly being updated.

You'll want to bookmark the page and come back regularly.

I’d give myself a B.

And like it or not – getting kids off to school – no matter what grade they are in – is a team effort.

A few times – I’ve slept in – just enough to allow him some extra snooze time –I’ve driven him to school on those days rather than him ride the bus.

But so far this year, he’s never been late to school. That’s a feat – considering he has to be at the bus stop which I drive him to – by 6 a.m.

Since there are already passengers on the bus by the time he gets on – I know there are parents and kids starting their day much earlier than we start ours.

Part of the success is about my son getting to bed early enough to wake up before dawn. He has to have his backpack organized the night before.

I have to have a cup of coffee in the morning.

Do you have any tips or routines that ensure your brood gets to school on time? (you getting to work on time is a whole other matter!)

How do you rate your Get ‘Em to School on Time performance so far this year?

I'm trying a new thing this school year. Menu planning! Throwing a few chicken nuggets in the oven just doesn't cut it anymore, especially since my son eats at least five meals a day. He needs real food, and a lot of it.

This week I did pretty well. We had halfway decent dinners -- lasagna, tacos, chicken with pasta -- that were easy to fix after I rushed in the house from a long day at work. But I need more ideas. And please don't tell me to spend all day Sunday cooking and putting things in the freezer. I'll do that occasionally, but I just don't have time for that kind of preparation every week.

Another issue: By this morning, we were out of milk. Out of bananas. Out of after-school frozen pizza snacks. Looks like I'm going to have to make another grocery run midweek, which really annoys me. I've always done big shopping on Sunday for the week ahead, but I can't stay a step ahead of my voracious teenager anymore.

Help! I need ideas.

We ran some good crockpot recipes in the Food section on Thursday. I can vouch for
Barbara Stein Fleckman's shredded beef brisket. Everyone in my house really liked it, even though my husband has vowed to cut back on red meat.

And I'm definitely checking out our family dining reviews of South Florida restaurants.

But I need new ideas for next week. Do you have a tip worth sharing? Or a recipe? Send me a family-friendly recipe you love and I'll give it a try. We may even print it in the Food section -- giving you proper credit, of course!

Just add it to the comments section, or email it to me a gbryant@sun-sentinel.com. Put "family friendly recipe" in the subject field.

Thanks for your help.

But commitment requires time and focus – often more than any of us – or our children have.

One thing my own parents have always stressed to me is to back off on over-booking my kids’ time. In fact, the more activities I’d say my kids were up to – the more concerned my dad would be.

“Are you sure it’s her that wants to do all those things?” he asks. I’d have my daughter booked in all kinds of activates so really his comment doubled as a warning. He’s right – Father [always] knows best!

A GeekDad blog post pleads with parents to let kids have kid-hang-out-doing-nothing-time. That’s what my dad always stresses.

My son who is entering 10th grade this year – he’s sticking to tae kwon do – it’s the single outside of school commitment. My dad approves of that.

It creates a focus – he’s not flitting about town rushing to do the next thing – and neither am I.

Scholastic offers up “12 Warning Signs That Your Child May Be Overscheduled.”

Whether it’s you or your kid that is clamoring for more things to do beyond their schooling - how will you balance providing “opportunities” for your child to grow into well-rounded leaders?

How do you manage your child’s time - which also means managing yours too.

Will you let your kid say enough is enough? Or will you be the one to push the too-much-is-too-much brakes?

You have all probably read the hot story this week where a man was accused of punching the father of a disruptive child at an Olive Garden in Boynton Beach. Turns out the child was autistic, and I think it is safe to say that the attacker has anger issues. Time will tell. However, this story raises some interesting points I wanted to discuss. It is ok to question another parent's ability to control their children in public?

Obviously this is a hot topic. I have memories of my father leaning over to nearby tables at restaurants and asking, "At what point did your child start controlling your life?" when he felt they were disruptive. I'm not a fan of that approach, but I think it is safe to say that we've all wanted to, at some point, give the parent of an obnoxious child a piece of our mind. However, is it appropriate? I've included a poll after the jump to help with our discussion. Let me know your thoughts.

Continue reading "Is it ok to question someone's parenting skills in public?" »

Pop prince Justin Bieber is in concert tonight at BankAtlantic Center, and I won't be there! Which is notable only because I have a 12 year old daughter --- who does not like Justin Bieber.

You read that right. We've been to several concerts together, she loves music, but has no interest in the Biebster.

Why would this chart-topper miss his mark with this small part of his target audience? I didn't quite get it, so I asked her what music she likes.

"I like the Beatles, U2 and Bruce." Who else? "Miley, Demi and Serena."

So you can see what's at work here: She likes the music her dad pumps into her head during their commute to school. And what Disney serves up on a continuous loop.

But what about the heartthrob factor? "I know of only one girl who likes him." Interesting.

Maybe it's because Erika still has puppy posters, but surely there's a pop star out there worthy of her bedroom wall. "Well, Zac Efron, but he doesn't count." (See, he's a movie star, not a pop star.)

I'm liking where this conversation is going. I'm appreciating her discerning taste. The fact that (Disney aside), the monster media hasn't gobbled her soul whole. That Justin Bieber doesn't have a hold on her.

But then there's this: "He has cool hair."

(Check out what my colleague Adam Eisenberg did with that 'do in our Justin Bieber photo gallery.)

Photo: Joshua C. Cruey, Orlando Sentinel

That’s the message former WCW female wrestler, Ann-Marie Rae, will convey to a group of youth at a free event Wednesday July 28.

Her presentation, geared primarily toward children entering middle school and older, will also feature some clips of her wrestling days.

Choosing sports as a way of being focused and active and working with local youth has long been a part of what defines Rae – before she became a professional wrestler, she worked at the North Lauderdale Boys & Girls Club and for Lauderhill Parks & Recreation.

Rae’s outline for children to build self-confidence: identify your strength and find a way to develop it. Envision your future. Forgive. Share your skills

It seems like sound advice– create an environment where one can grow to be well-rounded and confident. Sharing makes one’s world bigger. Forgiving allows us to move forward. And keeping an eye on what one wants to be with he or she grows up creates focus.

And it all takes a little of something Rae knows about – strength – of the mind kind.

For more information about her presentation call 954-943-3866.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com/mindingyourbiz or join her on Facebook

So it's hard to find a restaurant that pleases everyone. That's why when we do go out, we want to make sure we know what we're doing and we don't want to waste our money.

To the rescue: Our family dining reviews.

A couple months ago us Moms & Dads bloggers started reviewing restaurants with our families in tow. The reviews run every Thursday in the Food section, and you can find them all online at SunSentinel.com/familydining.

The beauty of this is: We are not food snobs. We are just regular moms and dads trying to get our families fed without too much time, money or effort invested.

I got to review Bellini's Coal Fired Pizza in Fort Lauderdale (I'd like to go back to with my girlfriends.) Chris Tiedje and his small brood had a blast at My Big Fat Greek Restaurant in Dania. Jon Burstein checked out the funky Mellow Mushroom in Delray Beach. But we aren't ignoring the chains (because, aside from my husband, that's how most of us eat).

But we'd really like to hear from you. Where do you go with your family? Share your ideas. Maybe one of us will go back later for a closer look.

And if you're one of those people who takes photos of your restaurant food (yes, husband does that, too) share those, too. We took the photo above at a little Mexican place in the Redlands. Can't even remember the name of the place, but it's attached to a Valero gas station.

Upload your restaurant food photos at SunSentinel.com/dining.

11 Year-Old YouTube star "Jessie Slaughter" was taken into police protective custody after her family began receiving death threats following this video post.

[WARNING - GRAPHIC LANGUAGE - NSFW]

I hardly know where to begin with this one. Are parents really so lax that an 11-year-old has unrestricted access to the internet with a webcam? Not to mention the things that are coming out of her mouth. Wow.

Just to show you how clueless the parents really are, they posted this response to the threats their daughter received via YouTube.

[WARNING - GRAPHIC LANGUAGE - NSFW]

And then they leave the room to allow their daughter to continue her video post. Seriously? Here is an idea, TAKE THE WEBCAM! How about moving the computer out of her room so that you can see what she's surfing? Maybe put some site restrictions on her browser so she can't access YouTube? Wow.

Lucky for me, my kids are too young to face these issues yet. Do you have rules for computer time in your house? Are certain sites restricted on your home computer? Share your thoughts with us.

Summer is a myth. All those "lazy days of summer" cliches. All those images of lounging in a beachside cottage. Falsehoods. Especially if you have kids. And double-especially if you work.

Getting kids up and dressed and packed with lunches for camp is just as trying as getting them ready for school. Organizing playdates, getting them to practices and games and volunteer jobs, catching up on doctors and dentist appointments -- it requires just as much coordination. And summer reading lists? Even more argument-producing than homework.

Somehow, things are even worse the older the kids get. They are more mobile, harder to keep track of. You'd think cell phones would help, but I've found that when there's a big Xbox tournament going on at someone's house, teenage boys don't answer calls from their mother. (My colleague Cindy Kent knows. She wrote about the gaming phenomenon earlier this week.)

I'm exhausted. Thank goodness for our support system. What would we do without Maria, Magali, Rick, Kenny, Georgie, Dennis, Chris, Ralph, Pamela, Denise and all the others who help me and my husband keep track of our kids and get them to where they need to be. Thanks everyone!

I hope every parent has a network of friends and family to help out. "It takes a village" is a cliche I believe in.

I still get a chuckle thinking about that great line in the Christmas Story movie – where the boy’s wish for a bb gun is insatiable.

He’s rebuffed with the comment: “You’ll shoot your eye out, Kid.”

It’s funny, but not really.

Just like fireworks – they’re awesome, but that doesn’t make them safe to be around.

July 4th isn’t the time to teach your kid how to light a match – torch a wick and throw it in the air – all in one smooth motion. In fact it’s downright dangerous – adults – professionals - have perished doing just that. (I’m still very cautious when I light the BBQ grill)

So remember safety first this July 4th – no matter your child’s age. Even picking up spent fireworks requires caution – make sure they are hosed down, or soak them in water, before touching if the kids are on clean-up duty to pick up the sparkler sticks and other small fireworks.

If you’re headed out for an evening of community fireworks (I don’t mean a homeowners association meeting, I really do mean the good old-fashioned fireworks) then there are still a few things to consider.

Some children hate the noise – it seems to truly hurt their ears. Be prepared to lay the blanket farther rather than closer to the source of the explosions. Another advantage to doing that is with some distance, you can avoid the raining debris fallout that some fireworks produce.

Check out KidHealth for lots of good no-nonsense common sense fireworks safety advice.

And check out our Crime & Safety blog on the topic.

photo credit: Sun Sentinel, Mark Randall

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Summer can be a real page-turner. Even getting the kid to read can be a real adventure.

It’s that time of year, a field trip to shop for the dreaded Summer Reading list. That's the list of required reading his school requests from selected book titles.

It’s my favorite thing to do – go to a book store and buy books for my son’s summer reading list.

He has to come with us. That’s part of the fun – because frankly, he dreads it and then by the time we’re leaving the store – he’s a happy camper. He even thanks us! It’s that transformation from dreary task to enthused reader that is fun to witness.

We usually make an evening of it, and he ends up exploring the entire store.

It’s on our schedule of things to do this week.

What about you – did you already get the books required? Or do your create your own summer reading list for your child.

Do you tap into local resources like the library – or do you make it a shopping spree?

photo credit: Les Bryant/flickr Undercover Reader AKA Secret Readers Original Oil Painting on 11 x 14 Hand Streached Canvas

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

If I left it up to our cats to teach our son a thing or two…. he’d have a PhD in Sleeping, (see photo) before the summer is over.

It seems that when school’s out –sleeping is in: staying up until 3 a.m., and snoozing until noon the next day is my son’s idea of enjoying the summer.

Well – that’s just not going to happen – no lay-a-bouts here! And I’m inclined to nip it in the bud.

Yes, I’m going to let him have his late nights and sleep-in mornings.

Sometimes. We’ve told him, it’s the exception – not the rule.

He has to get out and ride his bike, do chores, keep up with martial arts and follow up on some volunteer stuff.

There is no doubt, hanging with friends is good – in fact, it’s important.

And they’re going to stay up late some nights and sleep in – which is fine, but not day in and day out – not on my watch.

I have to admit I am a little hard-pressed for an answer when he asks why he has to get up so early (8 a.m.-9 a.m.-ish.) After all – if I had the time, I might take advantage of a late night/ late morning myself–but only for a while.

Besides reminding him that as the parents we set the rules, I tell him I don’t want his schedule turning upside down – that it will be very difficult to get back on track for school.

I don’t think I’m too hard on him. He’s got more down time that planned time this summer – which is a first.

What are your kids up to this summer – are they over-booked? Hanging out? Or balancing their time with spurts of activities with nothing to do in between?

Photo credit: Cindy Kent/Houdini and Zoe demonstrate the art of chillaxing

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Now that you have joined the ranks of momminess – you are the mother of a lot of ideas – aren’t you?

Well, Huggies thinks you are. The Kimberly-Clark brand is launching a grant program - Huggies MomInspired - to provide inventive moms with the seed capital they need to help transform viable ideas into successful new businesses.

After all, Huggies says moms are “often creative problem-solvers that typically embody natural entrepreneur characteristics on a daily basis.”

To be considered for a grant moms, 21 years or older, residing in the United States, must submit an application online, outlining a unique baby or child care product idea that addresses an unmet parenting need.

Winners will be awarded with up to $15,000 per grant to help fund their product ideas.
Hurry up, the deadline is June 9.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Mostly, you could say I was not nervous about the idea of high school... not as nervous as my parents were!

Many of my friends were either already at the high school I was going to go to, or were headed there for the first time along with me.

For me the biggest problem you could say is to stay on point until you get your work done. Then you can play!

A Brief Message to All Eighth Graders…

High school is a blast, and my freshman year has been fantastic, but the transition from junior high to high school can be difficult. Still, if I had been forewarned about certain aspects of school life, it would have been a smoother transition. Here are a few tips that I wish I had known as an incoming freshman.

First, do your homework right when you get home. (That means, listen to your parents!)

This might sound cheesy, but seriously don’t procrastinate; even if you have block scheduling, or your teacher allotted you multiple days to complete an assignment - do it at once. I have found this technique to be the most efficient in completing homework, sometimes I’ll forget or just slack off if I don’t live by this golden rule. I am not saying you cannot have a snack or something, just don’t start playing video games, etcetera.

Let’s see, another useful tip is to take all assignments seriously.

High school is where it really counts!

Depending on how well you do in high school will determine where you get your degree of higher education, if any. Colleges are very strict in terms of applicants accepted, thus you must perform to the best of your ability if you wish to get into your desired college - one’s degree of higher education is what qualifies them for their desired job.

Lastly, you all have probably already heard this, but I will reiterate it.

Teachers in high school are not as lenient as they are in junior high. If you have not learned to show some respect to your teachers yet, you better learn before the school year ends.

The teachers in a high school have trust that you will act mature on your own accord, and if you don’t - DETENTION!

Hope you will take my kid-to-kid advice into consideration.
- Thomas Kent

Thomas Kent, a student at South Broward High School, considers his first year as a high school student a success.

My wife and I had some friends over recently for a play date, and as usual the house was utter mayhem. The parents were enjoying some social time, while the kids were swimming and playing on the swing set. As the evening started to wind down, the mosquitoes came out and forced everyone inside. The crowd started to thin, and the one family of kids that was left wandered into my daughter's room. Her room is a bit small and she has a lofted bed, which always makes me nervous when friends come over to play. I decided to stay close to the door to make random checks on behavior. Good thing I did.

About the fourth peek into the room I witnessed some of her friends preparing to leap from the lofted bed into a pile of pillows on the tile floor. I gave them a nice warning, telling them calmly that this was not acceptable and if it happened again they would not be able to play in her room any more. I walked away thinking I had solved the potential disaster. No luck.

Upon my next peek into the room, I came across the same scene with the same kids. I made good on my threat and kicked them all out of her room.

Since the hour was getting late and bedtimes were fast approaching, this move was enough to have the parents call it a night. We said our goodbyes, and put the kids to bed.

A few weeks go by, and my wife realizes that the friends who children were leaping off of my daughter's bed had "unfriended" us on Facebook. After seeing them post on another friend's wall, my wife asked them what had happened. She later received a long email explaining that they were extremely upset with me for "yelling at and touching their children". Wow. Talk about a wake up call.

This was a couple who I considered to be pretty good friends. We had been camping with them, plus many birthday parties and dinner dates. This was really unexpected, especially since I was searching my mind to try and figure out what I had done wrong.

As I replayed the events of that night back in my head, I remember working with my friend to corral our kids out of my daughter's bedroom. At one point I remember my friend saying "don't touch my kid" as I was guiding his son out, and I honestly thought he was kidding.

As they were packing up to go, I was helping him gather his things and get the kids to their minivan. The kids were ignoring their dad and started banging on our piano on their way out. I once again thought I was helping by steering the boys out the front door. This time the "Don't touch my kid!" was more firm, and I realized he wasn't kidding. I apologized and we said our goodbyes.

I guess my offenses were enough to end our friendship, but I'm honestly at a loss here. We regularly have large gatherings in our house with many kids, and it is not uncommon for any of the parents to have to do a little crowd control. I guess this is where parenting methods can lead to determining who you're most compatible with as a parent.

Have you ever ended a friendship over parenting styles?

Would you let your child have- or go -to a sleep-over slumber party?

At what age do you consider your child too young or too old for sleep-overs?

What if your 15 year old child was invited to a co-ed sleepover? Yep, I mean the kind where boys and girls will sleep in the same house – would you let yours go?

A very unscientific survey I conducted at work resulted in a nearly 50/50 split of pros and cons; from a resounding “absolutely not,” to “it depends on who would be going,” and “I did let my son.”

On one hand, why would a group of just girls be more trustworthy than a bunch of just boys at a sleep-over? And if parents overseeing the group of snoozers are the issue – wouldn’t those concerns and trust in that parent (s) to handle any situation: to be there, be alert and be involved be the same regardless of the mix?

And on the other hand, for as long as time remembered, parents have been setting boundaries – so, it’s OK for parents to say “No,” as well.

When it comes to our kids, everything has risks--from curfews, to safety on the road and in the home; to whom your kid hangs out with; to where they spend their time.

There is one thing I do know – regardless if the kids are hanging at the mall, going to a party, the beach, or a sleep-over-- you have to have the conversation -with your child, with his or her friends and with the parents. Rules have to be clearly conveyed. Frankly, I’d be about as nervous, maybe more, with my kid at a beach party.

At this point, I am not dead set against the idea of a co-ed sleep-over – I know the kids that will be there. Really, I see more positives than negatives – but I’m still in the discovery phase.

The girls will sleep upstairs at an upcoming sleep-over to which my son was invited. The boys will sleep downstairs. The mom of the invitee will be there. I’ll be calling her soon so we can talk about it.

I’m still wondering too – how is she going to get comfortable sleeping on those steps!

By now most of us have gotten wind of the Tennessee woman who put her 7-year-old adopted son on a plane by himself and sent him back to Russia, on grounds that he was mentally unstable.

Her actions has set off some serious debate within adoption communities here and abroad and has Russia looking to temporarily halt adoptions by U.S. citizens until certain policies are changed, according to a recent Reuters article.

Can you blame them?

When I first heard this story reported I thought in my heart that it couldn’t be true. How could a mother take a child that they promised to love and care for and put them on a plane with a note and send them back to Russia?

Since then, I’ve heard some parents say that the incident highlights the need for more services for parents who adopt internationally.

On a radio show recently, some parents said they were deceived by agencies in the past and were not made aware of the full extent of their adopted child’s illness, in some cases.

They spoke out against this woman's behavior, still some said it raises a serious issue that needs attention.

While I think more resources for parents can only help, I still can’t fathom how one parent could be so cold and return a child in this manner. People need to understand that when you enter this journey called parenthood you don’t decide all the variables and you can expect some serious challenges.

No child is perfect. Every parent is tested at times--- some more than others. But what if we were to all head to an aiport or a bus station and leave our child for someone else to deal with?

These are human beings we’re dealing with. Some say the incident has given the U.S. a black eye. I’d say for most parents, it has left us with a broken heart.

As I was trolling through my morning reading ritual of scanning headlines, I stumbled across this on CBS News: "911 Dispatcher: Boy's Call 'Unbearable'" Needless to say, I had to read it. I still have goosebumps from listening to the audio clip.

The part of the story which stuck out for me was the part about the 7-year-old's ability to remain calm because his mother used to make him practice calling 911 in case of an emergency. Brilliant! This kid's parents were being held at gunpoint right outside the bathroom where he was hiding, and yet this kid knew what do to and held it together. He probably saved all of their lives. Amazing.

I don't know about you guys, but I will be going straight home to start practicing this with my 6-year-old. I hit Google to try and find some good resources, and came across this great site on emergency preparedness featuring the Sesame Street gang. There are videos, PDFs in English and Spanish and links to other helpful sites. Do you know of any other good resources? Share with us in the comments.

Hopefully you'll never need it, but I think this story shows that it is better to be prepared.

I like to think that I'm prepared for just about anything when it comes to parenting. My wife and I have already been through this legendary age with one girl and one boy, so we should know what we're up against. Right?

HA! As any child psychology expert will tell you, every child is unique, and our youngest is currently giving us a run for our money. He has even decided to get a head start and hit the famed "terrible twos" three months early. Just our luck.

Last weekend I took him to Costco with his big sister to do some shopping. He fell asleep in the car on the way to the store, so he was a bit groggy. When we got inside, he insisted on being held the entire time. If you've ever been to Costco on a weekend, then you know how hard it is to navigate the mayhem even with two hands on a cart—let alone when you're carrying a 25 pound kid. At one point I had to put him down in the cart, and that did it...complete public meltdown. Screaming, crying, kicking, the works. I never experienced this with my other two kids, and I must admit I was at a loss. I chose to ignore him and the disgusted looks from the other shoppers and finish our errand. After he calmed down a bit, I managed to bring him back to reality with the promise of pizza when we were done checking out. By the way he ate that slice I'm guessing hunger was the issue, but WOW was that ugly.

In an effort to bring back a bit of peace and quiet to our home (or at least less screaming), I did some poking around on other parenting blogs. Usually I don't find much of value on the big corporate sites, but I must admit I was pleasantly surprised on this post I found on Parents.com about discipline.

I will be trying some of these methods on our little hellion, and will report back in the comments if we have any luck. My poor wife is the one who has to deal with this all day while I'm at work, so I really hope this works for her sake.

What worked for you when your little one hit this stage? Share your stories with us.

No, it’s not his grades. He has over a 4.0 GPA. The Kid is a fantastic, kind and smart person, but he's not perfect.

It's not drugs --he lectures me on the dangers of even too much coffee. But, he has an addiction.

Call it by any other name - a fad, a trend, a phase. To me, his obsession with an online video game is an addiction.

So immersed in the game, he often opts out of playing with real-life friends; the ones who show up on his door step.

Instead, he would mike himself up and “play” with friends on-line. That is the kind of social networking I don’t want to see. I want to see social skills, in person, with live real people.

He says that his “friends” can stay up as late as they want on school nights. They have TV’s in their room. That is just too isolated and lacks structure for a person who gets up at 5 am for school.

Besides, long ago, I made the decision, no TV in a kid’s bedroom. I want to see what my kid is doing, what is he playing, and for how long. Plus, he learns to share - this is not a household were we duplicate the family electronics in every room. It's one family - so we have one TV.

When he isn’t playing the game, he ‘s “researching “ it on You Tube for more tips and tricks. That’s the wrong kind of research. I want to see school work reviewed, studied and researched with that much attention to detail.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for balance and down time. I don’t mind that he plays this particular game – I don’t mind the online interface either. Interestingly, not only does he stay in touch with his classmates- but he has reconnected with some of the kids that go to other schools. I trust him on this - it's not about who he is connecting with - it's the volume of time he is re-directing to online gaming.

I do mind the single focus, the tunnel vision, it creates. After many reminders to watch the time, do the homework do some chores and gentle reprimands to not ignore his real friends – or us - we had it out recently.

At one point, he was not allowed to play the game for a week. He needed some specific guidelines that have helped - somewhat - since.

Especially because I am not a strong disciplinarian - the guidelines we set, put the responsibility of his behaviors back on him: he must limit play to one hour a day. No day is a guarantee that he can play because homework, in-person friends and other activities are a priority. He has to use a timer.

What are the consequences? Right now, no play the next day if he goes over the time. If he plays the game in lieu of doing school assignments - I'll help him realign with his priorities by taking the game privilege away for an appropriate amount of time.

Stay involved with your kid’s life and don’t worry if they don’t like it - as my Mom always says, this isn't a popularity contest with your kid - you're not their friend, you're their parent.

That's a good thing for parents to remember no matter what generation - no matter what technology is out there: There is no “re-set button” in life. You’re the boss of the game.

Valentine's Day is all about romance: chocolates, wine and soft music. Even for parents.

In fact, what I learned from my mom, a mother of five children, is that the most important relationship in a family is the one between the adults - the couple, the parents of the household.

Their strength enables family stability, mom says. If they're happy as a couple, the family is happy, the kids are secure and the environment is nurturing for everyone.

Mom is also very pragmatic. I got that gene from her. So I'd like to take a few minutes here to discuss the business of loving your family.

A few years ago for Valentine's Day, I put my affairs in order

As a follow up, I suggested some tips and resources.

And later, I emphasized the importance of really taking on the task of getting wills.

No one got the warm fuzzys over wills that year. But we did get some peace of mind, we ensured as best we could, the continuity of the family (see above).

This year, I feel like I can be in a more playful mood.

We will celebrate Valentine's as a couple and as a family. We'll have an extra special dinner that includes The Kid.

We'll celebrate as a couple too - we always try to take advantage of "alone time," big people time," throughout the year.

But this year, instead of reaching into our purses and wallets for expensive gifts, we'll tap into our "inner Don Juan," and "inner Cleopatra" for a very special Valentine's evening.

I’ll be the first to admit that I had some reservations about the concept at first. But in a free parenting class I took recently, they suggested that parents should have their children help with setting the rules of the house.

I took it a step further and had my daughter makeup up each and every rule.

We started with bedtime. To my surprise my six-year-old daughter wanted to move her bedtime up to make it a half hour earlier. She thought of more rules than I could have imagined and suggested some pretty stiff consequences if certain rules were broken.

Her rules ranged from “no shouting,’’ to “no interrupting while singing Justine Bieber songs.’’

Her consequences included, “no candy for a week,’’ if she breaks one of her rules and “pushing mommy into the pool after she’s had her hair done,’’ should I break one of mine.

It actually turned out to be a fun little exercise and afterwards we posted the pink paper with the rules and consequences on a bulletin board near our computer.

So far it's making bedtime easier. When my daughter gets out of line I walk her over to the rules, written in her own handwriting, to give her a gentle reminder of the consequences.

I can see now why teachers often make students class monitors. My daughter has become a stern enforcer of her own rules, and I'm enjoying it.

My Dad didn't grow up camping. He grew up in North Miami and probably wasn't introduced to camping until he joined the Army. But he bought a pop-up camper and he and my mom took me and my three sisters camping all over the state parks of Iowa.

Don't let unhappy faces fool you. Camping is fun!

As anyone who was brought up camping understands, I arrived at adulthood feeling this compulsion to buy a tent.

We've been camping a lot over the years, and those weekends are some of the most memorable we've had as a family. Raising my son in Cub Scouts, we camped all over Florida. My daughter was sleeping in a tent as an infant.

Every New Year, I think about camping. I make a resolution to get the family out in the tent at least once, maybe three or four times.

For something new this year, I forced the family to go camping on New Year's Eve. Creed being a teen-ager, we let him bring his friend, Alex, along. We found a tent site at John Pennekamp Coral Reef State Park in Key Largo. If you're looking for a campsite, just search this site, Reserve America. It's easy.

I've been talking to a few parents lately about camping. Some have camped in cabins at places that have heated pools and bounce houses. In other words, you don't have to totally rough it if your spouse wants to camp and you'd rather be at a bed-and-breakfast.

On our trip to Key Largo, we grilled steak and lobster, we had hot showers, we rented canoes. We drank champagne, the kids drank bubbly apple cider. We hiked in the light of the full moon. We even played badminton. As others were partying back home in South Florida, we were sitting at a picnic table listening to a guy play John Denver's "Take Me Home, Country Roads'' on his guitar. I cannot think of a better way to ring in a New Year. No TV, no ball drop, no mob of drunk people. Just the family and a tent.

When Lily returned to school after the two week Christmas break, her second-grade teacher asked each child to report to the class about what they'd done during the vacation.

We'd taken Lily to Miami Seaquarium, to Jacksonville, to Port St. Lucie, to the beach at Las Olas, to the movie Avatar, and a whole lot of other things. And the camping trip was just a 24-hour deal. But when asked to sum up what she did over the break, that's what she said. "I went camping.''

Do your family a favor this year and buy a tent. It'll cost you less than one night in a hotel room.

Not sure where to begin with this one. First, you have the issue that these kids have other parents who were not involved in the decision. Second, you have the health implications from using the same needle for all of the kids. Third, you have basic common sense. A tattoo on a ten year old?!?! Someone help me figure this one out.

My son said you're not supposed to have "negative'' New Year's Resolutions.

This was after I announced that my No. 1. resolution this year is to "stop keeping the house so clean.''

Did someone say the living room is messy?
I can't see it from this comfortable chair.

He did a rapid-air-intake gasp of disgust when I said it. Ever since he became a teen-ager, he's been concerned with cleanliness. Nevermind that his own bedroom is a pit, and that he probably thinks you can sanitize something by spraying a third of a can of Axe cologne on it.

"The house never has been clean!'' he said to my New Year's resolution announcement.

This was after I had cleaned the living room. And his Dad had tossed one pair of dirty socks on the floor, to mark the space as his.

"I'm just not going to drive myself crazy trying to keep the house clean,'' I explained to Creed, my 14-year-old, as I chopped vegetables and lettuce to fulfill my No. 2 resolution ("Eat more salad.'') "I'm going to accept the mess,'' I told him.

This exchange was just days after a New Year's Eve campout in Key Largo -- planned, shopped, packed and executed by me -- during which he complained bitterly that I had not brought paper plates on which to eat the lobster, steak, scallops and baked potatoes I'd brought along.

"And your top resolution,'' I advised him, "should be to pay more attention to the hard work your father and I put in to make your life better.''

He went on and on in a teen-agerish way about us not teaching his 7-year-old sister to keep her belongings in her bedroom, about the supposed fact that none of his friends' homes are as messy as ours, that even when they are in the midst of cooking dinner, his friends' kitchens are spotless, and on and on. So I gave up.

But I've already left my mark. On the refrigerator is a new magnet I bought during the Christmas break, at Miami Seaquarium (annual passes!).

I took down all the photos, the A+ spelling test, the cutesy drawings of Mommy. And on this clean slate I put up one ceramic, square magnet. It has a fake button on it, kind of like a doorbell, and it says "Press button for maid. If no one answers, Do it Yourself!''

The sad thing is, everyone in the family, including my husband, actually pushed on the fake button. They looked around the kitchen, but there was no maid. Only me. And I'm accepting the mess.

Ring in the new year.

Wait - I do have a few more days to continue my current bad habits, before my 2010 Attitude Adjustment.

For 2010 - my New Years resolution is to use my time more wisely. Everything else will fall into place:

I'll be more organized, the house will be cleaner, therefore the child will eat better-and because he'll be more nourished and have more energy: his grades will improve; he'll grow, he'll do more chores-the chain reaction of successes will be endless, merely due to my one humble effort.

OK-I'm good.

Now-on to the child - It will be a joy to remind him of his "promises" throughout the year - only so far I haven't been able to get him to make any new year resolutions.

Do you make new year resolutions? Do your kids?

What special activities or traditions does your family celebrate to ring in the New Year?

Is there a special treat or meal (we have a black-eyed peas dish with our meal) that is a part of your New Years activities.

Have a Happy New Year - but first, share your ringing-in-the-New-Year tips, advice and traditions!

One, as in one early Christmas gift.

Of course, I have to admit, it's actually a family tradition that the adults in my house started - so we don't really blame the kids for asking and begging to open an early Christmas gift.

Actually, the asking starts soon after Thanksgiving - and its kind of fun to torture the child.

"Maybe," is our single-worded answer until the day before Christmas when our answer changes to "possibly," and finally - "yes."

The choice is ours - we pick out the gift to get unwrapped early. That's also part of the fun.

Though no gift is a dud - sometimes we give what he'll perceive to be the "blandest" of the bunch (and serves as merely another fun parenting moment!)

Do you let kids open early Christmas gifts? Is there a tradition or purpose behind your Christmas Eve early unwrapping? To be honest, I couldn't come up with a good reason as to why we do either.

Merry Christmas!

For the first time EVER, my husband and I both have Christmas week off. I'm so excited. Typically, since he's a teacher, he holds down the fort while I work, and I squeeze in holiday prep when I can.

But next week will be awesome! I made dentist, orthodontist and doctor appointments for the kids. They both have school projects to work on. Have to finish gift shopping and mail the cards. Plus wrapping. Bake delicate Scandinavian goodies -- since the weather will be cool enough. Have to clean the house. Get a new air conditioning system installed (which means taking apart a closet and putting it back together again.) Take the car in.

Sounds a lot like work.

But, we've vowed to do something fun every day as a family -- nothing too extravagant. But something. Watch a movie. Go somewhere different for lunch. Take the dog to the bark park. Play a boardgame.

In my imagination, this is how families spend time together -- everybody is smiling and laughing and drinking warm apple cider, and the teen wants to play board games instead of Modern Warfare on his XBox.

Is this your reality? If you are lucky enough to have time off over the holiday break, tell me how you plan to carve out some family time. I need some ideas -- and a reality check.

When my colleague, Joy Oglesby, whimsically took a photo of a sign I hung on my cubicle wall and playfully Tweeted it, it gave me pause to actually consider the message between the lines - not too seriously mind you, but it inspires today's missive.

The sign reads: "Dear Santa, Define Good."

As a kid growing up, I learned that back in the day, St. Nicholas would put coal in stockings of children he deemed undeserving of any other gift that year. I wondered, could the poor soul have redeemed him or herself with a last minute good deed?

What about giving? I don't believe for one minute that as we shop for holiday gifts each year, it's completely without judgment. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I think we do consider how our children behave. We recall how our friends treated us all year long. We decide if other family members have been naughty or nice.

I think most parents are in year-round, is-my-kid-good behavior-assessment mode anyway. How good are the kids' grades? Do they do their chores with grace? (I know, that is a lofty idea!). Are they polite to the grandparents, friends and us?

But as the holidays loom, and we haven't had a chance to do early Christmas shopping, another opportunity for us parents arise: to further define good by looking at even smaller behaviors!

As I brave the crowds of other harried and over-stressed consumers, I know I'll be asking myself: do the kids pout-did they shout? Do they cry? They better not have- at least not from around Halloween on through the holiday shopping season. Because us parents are doing enough of that ourselves waiting in lines to purchase stuff.

What is my son’s race? He’s going to ask me someday.

There’s a census coming around next year, and I’m fairly certain questions about race will be on the form. What are they going to make of my family? And when the time comes for Leonardo to answer that one on his own, what will he say?

I am Hispanic. But Hispanic is not a race. There are black Hispanics and white Hispanics. Roberto Clemente and Celia Cruz were Hispanic. So is Martin Sheen, the all-American man who played John F. Kennedy and Josiah Bartlet.

So telling you I’m Hispanic tells you nothing about my race.

I am brown, a descendant, likely, of European settlers, African slaves and the “indigenous” population of the Caribbean, which according to anthropologists migrated to the Western Hemisphere from Asia.

I am the white descendant of Europeans, the black descendant of Africans, the Native American descendant of Asians. For some reason, when the counting is done, the easiest thing to do is to say I am Hispanic, as if a word that does nothing to describe “race” can somehow eliminate the need for further discussion.

And my son is Hispanic.

But wait. His mother is not.

His mother is one-hundred-percent Italian. And another hundred percent Scottish, and Polish… There’s a heritage there that, like mine, is rich and beautiful. There is a history of struggle, determination, migration and immigration. There are achievements that should be celebrated, and some that serve as history’s warnings against pride or the lust for power. Just like my heritage. And yours, I’ll bet.

My son is descended from white Europeans. And black Africans and Native American Asians. As the brown-skinned son of a brown-skinned father, he’ll probably identify comfortably with the “Hispanic” label, as much as it will miss the point. He’s lucky, in one sense. When idiots tell him to go back to where he or his people came from, he can pick from pretty much anywhere in the world.

What is my son’s race? He’s going to ask me someday.

Maybe I’ll tell my son to answer the way my college professor, Bob Martinez, answered. Check all the boxes that apply. Which is to say: check all the boxes.

What is my son’s race? He’s going to ask me someday.

And I’m going to answer.

Human.

The greatest golfer in the world has proven that he is a mere mortal. We've all heard the news by now that the man whom many held in the highest regard has committed what in this writers eyes is the worst of all sins — adultery. Now I'm not a religious man, but there is nothing in the world more precious to me than my wife and children. I cannot imagine for one minute that any affair with even the hottest of supermodels is worth hurting my family. Call me crazy.

I'm not trying to say that I am perfect by any stretch of the imagination, nor am I saying that this is anyone's business but the Woods family, but the cat is out of the bag and what seemed to be an idyllic family image is shattered. I sincerely hope the best for them and hope that they can work things out for the sake of their kids.

We all probably know someone who has had their family damaged by an unfaithful spouse, and unfortunately it is usually the children who pay the price. I found this article titled "How Infidelity Affects the Child" which talks about how kids learn from their parents — for better or for worse. A child who experiences infidelity is more likely to become a homewrecker themselves.

I hope for the sake of Tiger's kids, Sam and Charlie, that they are too young to be changed by these events.

Do you know someone whose life has been affected by an affair? Anyone have any advice on how to soften the blow on the children? Share your thoughts with us.

Though we've vowed to take it easy this gift season, there's still been a lot of talk in my house lately about wish lists. My husband wants camping and hiking gear. My son wants a new Xbox and games. My daughter wants a laptop (not a chance) and socks (this I can handle).

Me? Aside from what my mom has always wished for -- "I just want us all to be together as a family" -- my needs and wants are very simple.

10. Towels to be used more than once.
9. Shoes that put themselves away.
8. I want my children to like the same foods, particularly fruits and vegetables.
7. A self-filling dishwasher.
6. I want my questions to get answers of more than one syllable.
5. Chores to be completed without having to say it twice.
4. I want to remember everything I thought I would never forget about my kids.
3. More time in the day.
2. Peace and understanding.
1. An iPhone.

This morning I was checking my Facebook page and I found a note from a very good friend. His wife had just given birth! However, this normally celebrated occasion was a bit tempered as the baby is extremely premature. Weighing in at only one pound, the child has been given a 40% chance of survival by her team of doctors. I told him "congratulations", but it just didn't sound right.

After hanging up the phone, my mind started wandering back to my own experience with the birth of my first child. Although nowhere near as severe, my daughter was 6 weeks premature and weighed only 4 lbs. 15 oz. I remember the 18 days we spent in the hospital as if they were yesterday. The support we had from friends, family, and coworkers made all the difference in coping. It is amazing what the power of positive energy can do. My daughter just turned six, and we have celebrated every minute of her life.

I've seen my family go through the other side of this experience as well. My cousin had twins and there were serious complications. Long story short, only one of her daughters survived. Today is actually the anniversary of her daughter's passing. Listening to her and her husband speak at their infant daughter's funeral was one of the most heartbreaking things I have witnessed. Their story really showed me that every single second of life is precious.

Please help me send positive energy (prayers, if that is your thing), thoughts, and words out to this child who is only hours old and is fighting for her life. Share your stories with us if you've had similar experiences, and hug your kids tight!

If your baby, toddler or child of any age is crying - you want to know why, right?

For instance, if your car were acting up, you might look under the hood before taking the vehicle to the mechanic. If your computer suddenly froze up - you're likely to push a few buttons or scoot the mouse around the pad.

So if your infant or baby is all red-faced, teary-eyed, fit-to-be-tied-bawling-his-or-her-eyes-out -- get over it - by checking it out the old-fashioned way: touch, hold, cuddle, sooth, coo, hug and in general assess the situation of said tiny being.

But wait, forget all that - don't trouble yourself - here's an App for that. I'm sorry to be the one to break the news to you.

The Cry Translator, according to promotional verbiage is, "an easy to use iPhone app that quickly identifies the five distinct cries made by infants: hungry, sleepy,annoyed, stressed or bored. These five cries are universal to all babies regardless of culture or language."

Wow. I'm speechless. Don't get me wrong - there are a few apps I am a huge fan of - Paper Toss is my fav.

But just imagine, you hear the child cry and you approach gingerly. Finally, thinks baby, I'll get some food or be held [insert other need/want here]. Instead, Baby sees tiny microphone held to face area. The outstretched arm is merely a tease. Baby increases wailing.

How will the app translate that?

Well, once is does, there are some suggestions on how to care for the child - which means while the Baby continues to cry, you begin reading a paragraph or two on what to do next.

Frankly, you really need to just put down your gadgets and pick up the child. It's called communication. What ever happened to consulting with the co-parent; Neighbors, people at work, on play dates in the park, grandparents, etc?

A 16-second Saturday Night Live skit says it all. Gosh.

Please, if you have this app - don't tell me. It'll make me want to cry.

Staff writer Megan O'Matz reports:
My nephew, age 9, left me a message one night, saying he needed to talk to me about something important. I figured he wanted me to buy stuff, like wrapping paper, from him for a school fundraiser. The next morning I called him.

“Hi, kiddo! What’s up?”

“I know there’s no Santa,” he said.

“What?”

“I know Santa’s not real.”

I’m thinking: #$*(S!

“Of course he is!” I insisted.

“Aunt Megan, I know. Seriously. I know.”

Continue reading "A lump of coal for this aunt" »

My kids are obsessed with reruns of "Jon & Kate Plus 8," so my ear perks up whenever I hear news of the reality TV stars, a former couple with twins and sextuplets, Jon and Kate Gosselin.

They are said to be divorcing, and Jon has been seen with various women in public. In the latest twist, he is getting counsel from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, former advisor to Michael Jackson and other stars.

I went to hear the Orthodox rabbi last year when he was giving a talk in West Palm Beach. I was impressed with his theme of how we are driving our kids crazy by pressuring them to be the people we want them to be, not who they are.

Sounds like he is driving a similar moral point home to Jon Gosselin. According to CNN, Gosselin is asking "the public to please understand the challenges I face in living under constant public scrutiny, even as I am aware that I have at times courted that scrutiny."

I tend to say "he/she asked for it" when celebrities complain about the spotlight. But Gosselin seems to be showing true remorse at what his life has become. I hope Rabbi Shmuley keeps setting him right.

Staff photo by Scott Fisher

The Pride Center at Equality Park, along with other supportive agencies, is seeking to open up an exchange of ideas and solutions to help the community understand the needs and social circumstances of gay, lesbian and transgendered youth in Broward County.

So, this Friday, the GLCC Pride Center is hosting a conference from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.at their new location: 2040 N. Dixie Highway, in Wilton Manors.

Co-hosts include SunServe, the YMCA of Broward County, Safe Schools South Florida and Equality Florida. “Trapped in the Margins: Challenges of Meeting the Needs of Broward’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth,” will highlight issues and challenges; provide information and create dialog as a way to assist our GLBT youth.

Medical and clinical professionals, elected officials, youth service providers, business owners[ legal and protective service professionals and the general public will present case studies and speeches.

For more information about the symposium call 954-463-9005. To learn more about The GLCC Pride Center and their programs visit www.glccsf.org

With Halloween past, the official Christmas/Hanukkah season has started. The TV ads are being unveiled. The catalogs are filling the mailbox. The pumpkin pie filling and cranberries are lining grocery store shelves.

But I'm not feeling it. Are you?

Unemployment in Florida is at 11 percent. And I have too many friends and family who fall into that number, or who got pay cuts this year. It's still rough out there.

Many kids have had to deal with the reality of doing with less. A study released earlier this week suggested up to 50 percent of U.S. kids will be on food stamps sometime during their childhood. That's astounding.

For more about the impacts of the recession on kids, read an excerpt from a speech this week by the director of the White House Office of Management and Budget.

We are fortunate to have a two-income household, but my kids know that this has been a tough year for a lot of people. So we are going to really dial it back during the holiday season.

We'll concentrate on giving to others in need, and spending time, rather than money, on friends and family.

One recent vacation meant spending time without The Kid.

It was nice, I won't lie. But I missed him. I won't lie about that either.

I can survive without my children around (but only for a while). Still, we had adult time for days in a row. And over the summer, he had a vacation without us. And he's already participated in overnight school field trips.

And frankly, I'm the clingy one - every once in a while, I check the blog Free-Range Kids, to help me become more of a free-range mom, to be honest!

We were only a phone call away and he could have called us everyday. We called him a few times to chat. We sent postcards too.

The Kid truly has developed a confidence about his independence - or maybe it's me that is growing. I never took time away from his older brother or sister. And I didn't let them out of my sights.

But I think it is a healthy and normal part of growing up. I spent time away from my family as a kid. A summer camp here, visiting grandma there - overnight sleepovers at friends. IAnd many Saturdays, I even walked from my house to a major mall, as a kid.

Still, there were great things about our vacation: Back at home, The Kid made his school lunch everyday, did his homework, took out the trash, fed the pets and did the dishes. And not once did the adult staying with him have to ask him to do any of that.

I think giving children day to day responsibilities and having expectations about how those are carried out help to build a foundation for when they really are on their own.

But then, there's always coming home. That's nice, wonderful, actually, and I won't lie about that either!

Recently, an old friend posted something on Facebook asking for advice. Her son was turning 13, and she wasn't sure what to expect.

All the helpful comments were about communication. Particularly, about how this was an age when boys clam up. Information is on a one-way highway right through those adolescent ears. Blah blah blah.

Now that my own son is almost 15 and a freshman in high school, I've had to devise ways other than actual talking to seek information. And I still feel extremely uninformed. So if you have ideas, please share.

First, employ a spy. A younger sister can be effective, if she's paying attention and willing to divulge. But you can't abuse the relationship. Mostly, I've gotten tidbits he would find simply embarrassing. Nothing truly valuable. Like the time some girls yelled across a playground that they thought he was "hot." Whatever.

Second, the surreptitious backpack search. I was one of those parents who kept all the little reports from daycare about diaper changes. I diligently went through the backpack every single day through elementary school. I read all the school and PTA newsletters. I talked to or emailed teachers. I was informed. Now, I know nothing. It was weeks after the fact that I learned that school pictures had already been taken and the deadline for buying pictures long past. Somehow, hmmm, the form had vanished. So when I have a moment alone in the house, and the backpack just happens to be sitting out, well....I'm not above a little search. Mostly, I've found crumbs and empty bags of chips. Sometimes, the lack of evidence is very comforting.

Electronic surveillance. This one is tricky, because you can be caught. If you read his text messages, he'll know. My colleague Brittany Wallman mulled this option recently when her son's cell phone was taken away from him in school. My feeling: She had a perfect excuse to invade her son's privacy as part of his "punishment." But you can check your phone bill online to determine exactly what time of day your child is sending and receiving texts. My son still hasn't figured out how I knew those girls were texting him at 2 in the morning!

Online grade books. This is the club hanging over his head. If his grade falls below my comfort level, I get an email. And he knows that if a grade falls, his computer privileges will be severely restricted.

Facebook. He does not want to be my friend. And I can kinda understand that. I don't like it, but he hasn't given me a reason to go to battle over it. But...he's friends with his 20something cousins -- they'll be on the watch. And, I am friends with one of his friends, so sometimes I get a little glimpse into his world. Lemme tell you, it's pretty lame.

The school website. My son's school posts the daily announcements, and they are a gold mine of information about clubs he doesn't want to join and tryouts he doesn't want to go to. At least it gives me something to talk to him about. Not that he's listening.

Here we go again. For the second time this month, a mother in South Florida has been caught passed-out drunk in her car with her kids. Can anyone fathom how a person's life could come to this? Really!?!?! Is getting loaded more important than your child's safety? Something is WAY out of whack here.

The first case was back on October 2 when Brenda Lee Duclos was found passed out behind the wheel of her minivan in her own driveway. The worst part is after she passed out, her 3-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter got out of the car and started wandering the neighborhood barefoot. The cops found FOUR empty bottles of wine in the car. When the police talked to the kids, one of them said "Mommy is drunk". Nice.

The most recent incident happened on Saturday when Joanne Martinez was found passed out in her boyfriend's SUV after drinking tequila at a family party Friday night. She apparently tried to drive home with 3 kids in the car, her 4 and 6 year-old children as well as her 7-year-old nephew. She was so drunk that when the cops woke her up she vomited. Who at this "family party" thought it was a good idea to let her drive?!?! Honestly?!

Maybe a MADD or an AA meeting complete with photos of bloody car wrecks would sober them up? Maybe the fact that the CDC reported that 68 percent of children killed in alcohol-related crashes in the United States between 1997 and 2002 were riding in the same vehicle as the drinking driver would be a wake up call?

I don't know whether to be sad, pissed off, or just plain disappointed that this seems to be happening more and more. Obviously both of these women have serious drinking problems, and that is nothing to make fun of. I hope for the sake of their children that they get the help they need.

Remember when true body odor didn’t hit until you were a teenager? It seem like those days are gone.

The other day my aunt came over and discreetly asked me if I had introduced my daughter to deodorant.

At six? Isn’t that too early? I thought.

But after raising this sensitive topic to some of my friends with young children, I learned that many of them have scoured the Internet looking for some form of child-friendly deodorant for their five and six-years-olds.

Some said they wanted to ask other parents about how they dealt with this prickly issue, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

I know enough to know that there have been reports of health risks linked to using deodorant too early. Some experts say don’t do it, and to instead have your child bathe more often, wear loose fitting clothes and use some form of talc powder.

Some of my "organic only" parents said they have their children using deodorants from the health food stores that tend to have fewer chemicals. But is that harmless?

While no one wants their child to stand out because of their odor, we need to start taking a look at why our young children are developing so fast. Something is not right about having to introduce a first grader to deodorant.

What’s next, deodorant for toddlers?

For those of you not familiar with this case, Somer Thompson is the 7 year old girl who disappeared while walking home from school on Monday. After a massive search and a nationwide outcry, her body was found yesterday in a Georgia landfill near the Florida state line.

The police report states that she got into a fight with another girl at school. While walking home with her sisters and some friends, she ran off ahead of the group and was never seen again. Imagine how they're feeling?

Reports are saying that the family lived near 161 registered sex offenders. Do you know how many live in your neighborhood? You should. Check the state database here.

Is knowing where the sex offenders in your neighborhood live enough? The latest reports say that none of the offenders in Somer's neighborhood are suspects, so what as parents can we do to protect our children?

Personally, I have experienced the loss of children close to me. My cousin recently gave birth to twins, and due to complications one of the girls did not survive. Listening to her speak at her daughter's funeral was one of the most moving events of my life. No matter how tragi