Women who have given birth looo-oo-ove to talk about it. They love to talk about all the gory details, they love to play "top that." Over drinks, on the soccer sidelines, at PTA events eventually and inevitably, there's a chorus of "when my water broke during the board meeting.....I pushed for 48 straight hours....and then my idiot husband....and the baby's head was as big as....."

OK, ok, since you asked. My favorite part was when I heaved myself over the hospital admissions desk and the idiot nurse, in her whiny stupid voice asks, "Are you in labor?" and I say, "No sh-- Sherlock." That was fun! Or some hours later when I screamed, "GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!!!" And the nurse screams back, "IT'S TOO LATE!!!" That wasn't as much fun.

But my stories are NOTHING compared to what you'll see on TLC network's new series: I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. This series promises to reveal "the astonishing stories of women who conceive and carry their babies all the way to labor and delivery, while never even knowing they were pregnant."

I'm still sitting here slack-jawed. There are enough women to make a SERIES out of this phenomenon?? Are you kidding me? It's been several years and the painful memories do fade, but lemme tell ya, I can still conjure up those backaches and swollen ankles and, well, I'll spare the details here. I can't imagine NOT KNOWING!

Tonight's debut episode at 9 p.m. sounds intriguing: "Nicci, a 31-year old mother of three goes into labor and gives birth at home with some surprising help from her 10-year-old son - and she didn't even know she was pregnant!" This is a woman with experience in these matters!

So you know where I'll be tonight at 9 p.m....pass the popcorn and the Chardonnay.

PHOTO: Photos.com

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I was in the car with my daughter when I got the news about Michael Jackson.

For me it was personal. Not only did we lose the “King of Pop,” I lost my very first pop icon.

I had the “I Love Michael” buttons. Every inch of my wall was filled with Michael Jackson posters. When my parents bought me my first record player (yes, record player), they threw in the “Super Freak” single by Rick James and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album.

I still love Michael to this day. Despite his tarnished image in the media, I put on “Man in the Mirror” and I feel inspired. And a party just isn’t a party without one or two Michael Jackson jams to close it out.

At least back then I was allowed to just love Michael without having to think about all his personal dilemmas. Too bad our kids aren’t allowed the same luxury.

My daughter already knows Chris Brown did something bad to Rihanna, as she put it. She knows Lindsey Lohan’s battles. And I’ve had to set the record straight on some of the Hannah Montana rumors.

It’s sad that with all the gossip on television and the Internet it’s almost impossible for our kids to embrace an artist for their music and their talent and leave it at that.

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I confess I watch many of the shows about giant families, including Jon & Kate Plus 8 and 18 Kids and Counting.

In "18 Kids and Counting," you can sense some chemistry between the married couple, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. But in "Jon & Kate Plus 8," I could never understand how they loved each other and remained married.

So I'm not at all surprised they revealed on Monday night's show that they are getting divorced. You could see in their body language they almost disdained each other.

Tabloids and blogs have had a field day blaming one or the other. But I believe you could see from the outset that this marriage was not meant to last.

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I have become addicted to "Whatever, Martha!"

It's a show on Wednesday nights on the Fine Living Network in which Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis, and her friend, Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, make fun of old Martha Stewart shows, which ran from 1991 to 2004. I find myself laughing out loud as they take apart Martha's obsessive and controlling personality and find sexual innuendo in her every offhand comment.

They mock Martha's clothing, body language, choice of words, choice of projects, choice of guests: everything Martha says and does is subject to their ridicule.

I laugh -- sometimes -- when my kids make fun of me, but this skewering takes Mom-mocking to a new level. Still, I wasn't surprised to learn the idea for "Whatever, Martha!" was Martha's, a way to revive interest in her old shows.

We all know she is a savvy businesswoman, but now we learn she has a terrific sense of humor. Here's to mothers who don't take themselves too seriously.

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What do you say, what do you do, if your child says he or she wants to change their gender?

If it takes a famous person like Chastity Bono to openly go through the process to create dialog, that's great. But not everyone is so lucky to have a built in fan-base, financial reserves, good connections. And not everyone is an independent adult.

Your questioning child still depends on you.

It's a complicated issue for those on the outside looking in.

But "complicated" doesn't even come close to describing the process for the individual going through it. How does he or she even begin to articulate it to others?

Think about this: a female wants to transition to male (F2M). Would that person want to be with females (straight) or other males (gay)? Conversely, would a male, transitioning to female (M2F) want to be with males (straight) or other females (lesbian)?

Is it even that simple? I think not.

Several articles and blogs have discussed one family where the parents are letting their 8-year-old son openly live life as a girl.
Here is one report.

For more insight, read this account of a woman whose son came to her and said "Mom, I need to be a girl."

Lots of organized information is available.

In this post Transproud helps parent navigate the reality that their child just announced they have a gender conflict.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is a voice within the school community to ensure a safe environment to GLBT youth and create open discussion.

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Our children completed another year of school. But that doesn’t mean they’re any smarter about online safety.

Just because its summer vacation doesn’t mean rules are on vacation either, especially when it comes to kids and their online Internet activity.

Some kids are going to find they have a lot of time on their hands because many parents can’t afford to send their child to camp, or for other reasons simply choose to have the kids stay home. Other kids looked for summer jobs but didn’t get one.

TV, playing video games and surfing the net will fill a lot of that time. Facebook, MySpace, e-mail, Twitter, online games and draw people into communities online --with total strangers.

My son will be pretty busy with a marine school magnet program and martial arts. But he does go online. I’m pretty confident though, he’s very safety savvy. He’s extremely diligent about the sites he visits.

He implemented programs to protect his data. He does not veer from his usual book marked favorites. He runs software that prevents random sites from popping up. He does not use Facebook or MySpace. He only rarely e-mails family members and friends.

In fact, I’ve learned a lot of online tips from him. We are constantly sharing information about something we’ve learned.

When he first started going online, I constantly repeated these safety tips – and they’re good for anyone of any age:

1. Never give out personal information like your name, telephone number, address, e-mail, or school name.

2. Be cautious: people you chat with online may not be who they say they are.

My top two tips can be found at

Mcgruff.org

What rules and safety tips have you and your children discussed and implemented?

Add your ideas to the list of safety tips with your comments.

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I have a confession. Before I became a mom, I actually enjoyed spending time alone.

A new J. California Cooper book and a comfortable pillow were all I needed to get me through a Sunday afternoon.

That kind of time is rare these days. Most of the weekend is spent doing kids’ stuff. But I’ve found a few inexpensive ways to get “me time” and reconnect with the loner in me.

Visit to Ikea. The Swedish furniture store has free baby-sitting for shoppers. There’s one in Davie. You don’t have to buy anything, and my daughter looks forward to going to their play area. They limit you to about 45 minutes, which can fly by, but it’s nice to have uninterrupted time to look at fabrics and scope out designing ideas.

The gym. My gym charges an extra $5 a month for its kids’ club and it is money well-spent. You get to work out alone, with no distractions while your kids play with others.

The park. Instead of cuddling up on my battered green couch like I used to, I take my magazines and books to the park and read while she plays.

Do you know of any other low-budget ways to get time alone? Do share.....

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Anthony is a creative type. He likes to draw and pal around with younger kids.

The 12 year old is one of nearly 1,000 children in Florida in need of a stable family life.

Taking in a child from foster care is an awesome thing to do. If you're considering opening your home to a child now in the state's care, check out the traveling exhibit Children's Trust Heart Gallery on Saturday at Dave & Busters in Hollywood from 4 - 6 p.m.

During the exhibit, potential parents can "meet" some of the children available for adoption and get answers to some pressing questions, such as what financial and emotional support is available, how long does the adoption process take, do the birth parents have rights?

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McMommy has tales.

The McMommy Chronicles tracks the 30-something mother of two who says she has no clue how to parent, but tries to anyway. Here's her take on the most-used parenting excuse:

While on vacation recently, I dared to make the thoughtless remark of "OK kids, five more minutes in the pool and then we'll get out to clean up for dinner, OK?"

Have you ever made that remark to a young child?

If not, you better duck and cover, my friend. Because first you will get pummeled with "WHAT?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! MomIDon'tWannaaaaa!! Waaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! I'M NOT HUNGRY!!!! Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! No! No! NO!!! YOU ARE SO MEAN!"

And then they will proceed to throw the World’s Biggest Tantrum right there before your very eyes.

And as you are pulling your water-logged children out of the pool, kicking and screaming and limbs flailing, you look around to everyone and mouth one of the most famous parental phrases in parenting history: "I'm sorry. They are so tired!"

If you are a parent, you cannot sit there with a straight face and tell me you have never used that line before. It truly is the perfect catch-all for any childhood tantrum thrown in public.

The kicker? It doesn't even matter if it's true or not.

My children could have just woken up from a nap 20 minutes ago, and I'll bust that line out if they have a meltdown.

I don't care.

Because uttering this phrase:

A.) Causes others around you to nod their heads sympathetically instead of throwing looks of disgust your way.

B.) Gives off the vibe "I totally know what I'm doing as a parent" and you look in complete control of the situation.

When in actuality you have no flipping clue as to why your kids have turned into little monsters.

Of course, there are variations of the famous phrase:

• “Someone’s ready for a nap!”

• “He’s just cranky because he went to bed late last night.”

• “Early bedtime for you tonight, Mr. FussyPants!”

All work remarkably well.

It’s also the one phrase that can be used no matter what the age of the child. You can be a parent for a mere couple of hours and if that baby starts wailing, throw out a simple: “Oh, you must be so tired after the morning you’ve had!”

Nice, you are off the hook. Everyone around you will murmur “Look at her parenting instincts! Oh, she is such a natural!” and applause, applause . . . you come off looking like a mothering genius.

And truly, isn’t that all we ever want as parents? To come across looking like we know what we’re doing when in reality, we are just flying by the seat of our spit-up stained pants.

Next time, I’ll cover the second-most famous saying in the history of parental excuses: “He’s just overtired now.” (What does that even mean? No clue, but guess who just said it 20 minutes ago?)

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Our toddlers don’t watch much TV. We limit it, on most days, to about 20 minutes of their favorite on-demand show, which is usually Thomas & Friends or Bob the Builder. We need them to sit still long enough to prepare dinner. And it works, providing us a respite from the chaos that usually surrounds these adorable but spirited little boys.

So I understand why preschool and day care teachers sometimes turn on the TV. I need a break with two kids; they endure 10 or so little ones for hours on end. It’s a long day, and plopping them in front of a TV probably seems like a way to regain one’s sanity. And I fully support sane teachers for my children. That said (and you see where this is going): What’s an acceptable amount of TV in preschool or day care? Our boys are 3 and 18 months.

My wife and I have debated this recently as we noticed that our 3-year-old seemed increasingly familiar with cartoon characters. Some he learned at a friend’s house, but others clearly are coming from TV sessions at his school – either during aftercare or the normal school day. We’ve raised this issue before with school folks, but I wonder how far to push it. What would you do?

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Time to put some faces to our Tweets, blogs and comments.

Let's meet - in person.

We're in the planning stages and are hopeful that our first Moms & Dad's event will be held in June at the Young at Art Children's Museum, in Davie.

For future events, we want to blend the best of networking, seminars and mingling with guest speakers and activities.

Let us know when it would be a good time for you to attend.

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This is an amazing story.

Wait, this just in: Update - earlier today, there was a report about a newborn about to undergo surgery to remove an undeveloped fetus from its mouth, in Miami. After a news conference, reporters learned it's NOT a twin.

At this point, I am also reframing my post to be more reflective of the new information.

A child was born with a tumor covering the face. Here is the story about the recent surgery and recovery of the now two-month-old child

Our hearts tug at stories about children and families facing challenges.

Operations for any child can overwhelm every family member.

KidsHealth.org provides some guidance of how to prepare your family - and you - for hospital experiences such as visits and surgery

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A few weekends ago my 6-year-old met her dad’s girlfriend, for the first time.

When she returned home she had a string of questions. She wanted to know when daddy and I would get back together, why he had a girlfriend, and why wasn’t I mad?

I explained to her that daddy and I love her very much and told her that we should be happy that daddy found someone he cares for. I’m also in a committed relationship, and I told her I wanted daddy to find that same joy.

I’m fortunate that my daughter has a really great dad. We both co-parent, with very little drama.
But I realized that in addition to knowing my feelings, she needed reaffirmation that her space in her dad’s life wasn’t being threatened.

I grew up in a two parent household, with my mom and dad. I didn’t have to wrestle with these questions at six. These days, in a world where a lot of single parents have a relationship status that’s “complicated,’’ how do you break it down to kids in simple terms?

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Death and dying are horrible topics for children to talk about. It’s really scary for them to imagine a life without you.

But it could happen, and you should have age-appropriate conversations with them.

Don’t be Morbid Mom or Downer Dad about the topic.

In fact, there is nothing wrong with a bit humor, if you can manage it.

Regardless of your discussions with your children – you must have conversations with the other adults in your and your children’s lives – about the aftermath of your or your partner’s or spouse’s passing.

Single or married – get wills.
Step parents, same-gender couples – get wills.
Divorced parents – get wills.

The process of making a will causes you to address other topics too: guardianship; medical advocacy and end of life issues -all these issues will affect your children.

Begin with Liz Pulliam Weston’s MSN Money column. She asks Who will take care of your kids if you die? That will get you thinking and organized.

Next, look at this Florida Bar tip sheet that starts off with the question: Do you have a will?

Get additional information from the Florida Bar on what and why you should initiate other directives.

Doing some homework upfront will give you starting talking points when you meet with your attorney to get the paperwork done – and basically make you aware of what you DON’T know and why you need to know it.

Local law firms. such as Molder Legal Group P.A. in Plantation, can educate you on Florida-specific laws and procedures beginning with its 3-part series blog on parents and estate-planning.

Fort Lauderdale attorney Robin L. Bodiford of the Law offices of Robin L. Bodiford PA co-authored A Simplified Guide to Creating a Personal Will.

Both law firms help single people and same-gendered couples navigate the often confusing and not very friendly legal landscape related specifically to their circumstances.

Ask your lawyer what the costs will be. It can vary for a single individual to a couple. It depends on if you just do the will, or if you are going to do trusts, living wills and other directives. Ours began with starting costs at around $2,000 and go from there.

Last year, I blogged about my experience getting a will. I’m not for one moment sorry I went through it – or put my family through it.

It’s never too late.

And if you need an occasion (I chose Valentine’s Day because ‘I heart’ everyone) then consider the upcoming Memorial Day holiday, or Father’s Day in June.

Or how about just a: I-love-my-family-everyday Day?

You can also follow Cindy Kent on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

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If you co-parent you know the phone is like a lifeline.

My daughter’s dad lives out of state and he calls her almost every evening to chat. There are some evenings when she runs to the phone and there are those other nights, when she is simply not up for talking.

I know it’s not easy having your child treat you like a bill collector. But I think some parents go about getting their child to open up on the phone all wrong. Some tips I picked up while observing others:

1. Believe it or not, some children don’t want to talk about themselves all the time. They want to know what happened in your day. Share with them something funny that happened on the job, or a joke you heard.
2. Keep the conversation short sometimes. It shouldn’t seem like a chore for your child. Try to gauge if your child is losing interest.
3. I often ask my six year old two questions that get her on a roll. What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? Yes, more often than not, more time is spent on the worst part, but I’m guessing that’s human nature.
4. Try to stick to a scheduled time when you’re expected to call, every night. Some of my friends complain that they can’t get to speak to their kids when they call their child’s mother or father, but they call at all random hours. Custodial parents often have hectic schedules.
5. Come up with a funny sign off.
If you have some tips to keeping a conversation going, do share....

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It was bound to happen.

We parents are saving the world -- or managing our children -- one Tweet at a time -- as long as we can do it in 140 characters or less

MomsRule: hey-you better be following me. Yes, I mean you. Your room has to be clean by the time I get home

MomsRule: RT @awwDoIHaveTo? I love you too. There is a special surprise snack in the fridge, AFTER you get your homework done

MomsRule: No @please,mom?

MomsRule: No @IpromiseI’llBhomeOnTime

MomsRule: They have homes and mommies of their own. We can’t always be feeding the neighborhood.

MomsRule: You broke WHAT? @IDidn’tMeanTo @Sister @Brother @TheNeighbor’sKid

MomsRule: How many times have I told Umath is a ladder subject. U can’t skip steps. Here is really cool website 4 U 2 get some good geometry help

MomsRule: RT @Icantbeinbothplacesatonce You’ll have 2 ask 1 of the other mothers 4a ride and dinner. Can one of the moms help you with that assignment?

MomsRule: RT @Whereisit? Right where you left it – I didn’t move a thing. You put it in the top right-hand drawer next to the scotch tape

MomsRule: No

MomsRule: RT @WaitUntilIGetHomeYouAreSoGrounded On your report card? Every class? What’s your principal's Twitter name?

MomsRule: I’ll gv U Ur $$ if all Ur chrs R dne N tme 4 Us to …4get it – pick up fone-that’s me calling 2Tlk 2U!

(Tips on talking to your little person - in person can be found on FamilyEducation.com

Advice on long distance/virtual parenting can be found here.)

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Lucas Emilio turned 1 last week. We invited a handful of friends over very informally for a small party. We made sure to tell people not to bring gifts. Yet every one of the guests brought something.

Don’t get me wrong. We appreciate their generosity and thoughtful gifts. But we really meant it. We just wanted to have people over to celebrate my son’s milestone birthday.

We’re guilty of doing it too. My wife and I both have brought gifts to parties when the host said don’t do it.

That got me thinking of how do you get the message across in the future that we are sincere in our request without being overbearing.

It’s all in how you explain your wishes to guests, according to an etiquette expert the Emily Post Institute. Simply saying “please no gifts” won’t work.

“You’re really trying to change a tradition,” said Cindy Post Senning, who has a new book coming out next week, “Table Manners for Kids”.

If you’re inviting guests over the phone or in person, she said, tell them that you’re trying to start a new tradition in your family. You want to make birthdays about a celebration and not gifts. In a written invitation, add a sentence to the “no gifts please” note saying the same thing.

There will still be gift givers. Senning said, but don’t open the presents at the party. That would make for an awkward situation for others who listened to your wishes and didn’t bring gifts. She suggests telling the gift givers that you plan to save the gift and give it to your child at another time.

Maybe we’ll try this for Ana Isabel’s upcoming birthday. She turns 4 in August. We’ll see if it works.

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Here are three applications every iPhone/iTouch-equipped parent should have.

1 A distraction for the kid(s). My 2-year-old likes KidArt, which allows her to choose from 10 colors and four "canvases" for finger-drawing. Drawings are limited to stick figures and outlines. Cost: 99 cents.

Other kid distraction options:

Koi Pond. See three koi swim, "feed" the fish by shaking the iPhone/iTouch and watch them snap up the food. Cost: 99 cents.

Art Gallery is a mobile museum. For younger children it's a good tool for identifying shapes, animals and colors. For older kids, it's a good introduction to popular artists and art forms. Cost: Free

2 Something for the home. I've fallen head over ladle for All Recipes.com's DinnerSpinner. Select a dish type (appetizer, entree, breakfast), an ingredient (vegetable, fish, grain), and how long you want to be in the kitchen cooking (20 minutes or less, 45 minutes or less). Presto, a meal option is presented.

I made the pineapple chicken (substituting pork) last night, which was ready in 40 minutes.

Other home app options:
A "virtual" friend at the Palm Beach Post recommended Zenbe, which allows users to share task and grocery lists with family/co-workers. Cost: $1.99.

Grocery IQ has made shopping for groceries much easier with its favorites, history and list queques. I simply check off the grocery item as I pluck it off the shelf. I've seen a reduction in impulse buys when using the gizmo. Cost: 99 cents.

3 A distraction for you (and your partner). During intermission at a theater production, my sister and I passed the time playing air hockey courtesy of FS5 Hockey. Cost: Free.

Other adult distraction apps:
Word Warp has kept me and my husband busy while out at restaurants during the lag between ordering and diving into the grub. Cost: Free.

A friend swears by Scrabble, but I can't imagine plucking down $4.99 for an app. Yet.

What's your favorite app for distracting the kids, or the one you and your beloved get a kick out of? Let me know!

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Mani-pedis for 4-year-olds?

Um, I don't think so!

Or so was my initial reaction to the Miami Herald story about kiddie salon Le Petite Youth Spa.

But the girly-girly mamas, clearly with a credit line that is stronger than mine, have swayed me. It's just for fun. It helps the girls with self-image, they say.

I mean how can you argue with Mom's perspective: "At school, they do what they see. But here she learns how to be different, like not running [inside] a place like a little boy.''

Plus, the salon doesn't cut cuticles -- just puts pretty paint on teeny toes and fingers.

The girls are playing dress-up. No harm, right?

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This hurts.

Read this today in MassLive.com:

SPRINGFIELD - Hundreds of people filled the Alden Baptist Church Monday for the funeral of Carl J. Walker-Hoover, the 11-year old boy who hung himself last week after complaining of bullying by classmates at the New Leadership Charter School.

"Our prayers are that this crisis will make Springfield a better community," said the Rev. Hugh A. Bair, who delivered the eulogy that capped the 2.5-hour service.

"The name calling must stop; the bullying must stop," he said, resulting in applause from the overflow crowd.
...
His mother said he suffered taunts and threats from other students who made fun of him, insulted the way he dressed and called him gay since he began attending the school in September, Walker said. Read the rest here.

I had a very difficult time reading this article because it’s so senseless and painful, to know people can be so unenlightened and cruel.

I am sorrowful for the mother, for young Carl. I'm sad for all of us. In the death of this 11-year-old boy, a victim of harassment and bullying, who hanged himself, we're all victims, regardless of our sexual orientation.

There are untold numbers of victims in this case: Those who fear coming out about their sexuality; those who fear helping; those who have LGBT friends and family members. Those who just want to ask questions.

This month, a local church is hosting a workshop that many people can benefit from.

Riviera Presbyterian Church is hosting “Gender Identity and Our Faith Community,” a public workshop from 1p.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 26.

This is Riviera's promotion about the event:

Do you know what 'gender identity' means to you? Have you ever wondered what struggles transgender people face? Do you have questions about where our ideas of 'appropriate' gender expression stem? Do you feel called as a person of faith to stand with those who are marginalized, but are not sure how to advocate politically from a religious voice? If you answer yes to any of these questions than we have a FREE workshop for you!

Please join Riviera Presbyterian Church on Sunday, April 26th from 1 pm to 4 pm for a moving discussion on 'Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities' sponsored by the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign. We will be joined by HRC staff member and transgender educator, Allyson Robinson, who will lead us from acceptance to advocacy on issues of gender identity and LGBT equality. This workshop will challenge us, liberate us, and help us grow as a community committed to justice for everyone.

Address: Riviera Presbyterian Church, 5275 Sunset Drive, Miami. The free workshop is open to the public. RSVP: Phone: 305-666-8586. E-mail: rivierachurch@bellsouth.net. Website.

There are resources all over the country as well as locally.
Volunteers and experts are dedicated to getting the word out about nonviolence, LGBT issues, mentoring and more.

Pridelines Youth Services

YES Institute

Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians

Compass Community Center, Palm Beach.

Gay, Lesbian Community Center, Fort Lauderdale.

There are many opportunities to embrace, to learn, to understand issue that surround sexuality and gender orientation.

People of all ages can learn a thing or two –and they should. It’s OK to reach beyond what you know, beyond your comfort zone.

Sometimes that might mean hearing what you don’t want to hear. It might be being with folk that aren’t like you.

But nothing is quite like making yours and your child’s world bigger – through understanding and knowledge.

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Its' a no-brainer, really.
When you acknowledge the spirituality of others, you learn more about yourself. You gain insight.

That's what we told The Kid when we explained why we were hosting a Passover dinner in our home this week.

Our guest list included Jewish people and Christians. We invited friends, neighbors and co-workers to a "Gentile Passover". Everyone was touched by our invitation. One said she had been thinking about what she would do this holiday.

We made Matzo Ball soup, from scratch; and roasted chicken and lamb. Our neighbor cooked a brisket.

All of us, including The Kid and his friend, listened as one of the guests explained the meaning of the opening plate and what the food on it signified.

Everyone brought something to the table.
But the main courses were inclusiveness, love, respect and friendship.

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He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

Yes, I tried to explain that giving water to a newborn is not generally a good idea. We talked to our pediatrician about Leo's formula because he seemed to be spitting up a bit. We are following our pediatrician's advice, which brings us back to rejecting my mother's advice.

And then Leo has another hiccup.

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

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Baby needs a brand-new pair of shoes. Always. Put can you afford to fork over $40 for a pair of leather sandles or sneakers that your child will outgrow in months?

Heck yeah with this deal!

Shoe retailer Stride Rite is rolling back prices to what they were in 1999. The strings attached include the deal being good only for online purchases, the first 1,999 buyers, shoes in stock and those purchased through StrideRiteToledo.com

At checkout, enter the promotional code: 1999.

For more details, visit the Stimulus Sale page.

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When I was in school, we never had a "Pull Up Your Pants Day." Never needed one.

But today, Plantation High School made such a designation.

Seems the trend of young men wearing pants barely above the hips began in the 1980s as a way for gang members to indicate they'd spent time in jail. It caught on as way to show "coolness," independence and defiance.

Broward County public school officials stated their mission in this news release:

“In an effort to reach out to young men and increase their self-esteem and self-image, school administrators and teachers are following President Barack Obama’s call to, 'Men of America – Pull up Your Pants.'"

The program included community leaders, mentors, and alumni handing out belts donated by WalMart to students. Guests attended a luncheon with students involved in the Mentors for Tomorrow’s Leaders Program, followed by a forum and panel discussion facilitated for students and staff. My colleague Gregory Lewis wrote about the event here.

It’s good to put a spotlight on what many people see as a negative message, and the behaviors that accompany it. It was clever and wise to create this program off of current events. Hopefully kids listen.

Rod Hagwood shares his fashion sense on the matter here.

And DetentionSlip has his take on the issue.

Still, I’m a little disturbed – students are rewarded by the attention of good people for what is essentially dressing badly.

When I mentioned the designated day to my son, he said, “Wow, that’s good, because to dress that way is so lame.” I asked him what he meant by that. “Kids don’t even know what that means,” he said. "It’s just stupid. They don’t know why they are even wearing their pants like that.”

Let me be clear, my son has lots of friends who wear their pants low.

I’m thinking now, which is dangerous.

I should give a few community leaders a call and ask them to go have lunch with my son.

They’ll recognize him by how well-dressed he is – he wears his pants around his waist. And he's never gotten any attention for following the rules. That would be nice for a change!

But instead of donating a belt, (he has one, and uses it) maybe they could hook him up with a new backpack — a few zippers are busted on his old one from carrying lots of school books and folders.

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We did what any parent must eventually do – we cut the cord.

Only in this case, we canceled the cable service for television. It’s very liberating - we aren’t tethered to it anymore.

Admittedly, it’s more of an adjustment for us rather than The Kid. We adults had become lay-a-bouts. We’d be the ones to mostly say, “wait, after this show I’ll [fill in the blank: help you with your homework; cook dinner; clean the house; put out the fire, etc.]

The Kid does lots of other things already. His withdrawal symptoms will be much less than ours. He plays video and board games, card games; he reads and practices Tae Kwon Do; hangs out with his friends and does his homework.

But I think us big people will survive too. This week, one of us focused more on graduate course homework and the other did more housecleaning.

Though the true catalyst for disconnecting from pay television and switching to rabbit ears was driven by cutting expenses, we’ll gain so much more than loose change. We already have, we’re re-connecting with each other.

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Free your mind and the rest will follow. En Vogue, anyone? (If you don't remember the earworm, here's a sample.)

There's a campaign underfoot to get folks to get more green. Clorox has even jumped on the bandwagon with biodegradable cleaning products. The march continues with getting folks to rely less on disposable napkins and paper towels and more on reusable cloths.

There are some easy ways to make the transition, read the McClatchy Tribune story here.

I made the switch from my beloved, fruit-colored sponges to nubby, reusable cloths for washing the dishes. Instead of dumping three sponges every two months into the Great Landfill, I wash, and wash, and re-wash my dish towels.

I'm still reaching for the paper towels to clean up messes. But after downgrading from Viva to Bounty to save a few pennies, I'm ready to invest in some bar towels for mopping up spills.

But I think the real test of a committment to free (disposable) napkins comes at party-time. Is there anyone out there who solely uses cloth napkins for entertaining a crowd for a birthday party of cocktails?

Tell me, are you ready to free the napkin?

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Free your mind and the rest will follow. En Vogue, anyone? (If you don't remember the earworm, here's a sample.)

There's a campaign underfoot to get folks to get more green. Clorox has even jumped on the bandwagon with biodegradable cleaning products. The march continues with getting folks to rely less on disposable napkins and paper towels and more on reusable cloths.

There are some easy ways to make the transition, read the McClatchy Tribune story here.

I made the switch from my beloved, fruit-colored sponges to nubby, reusable cloths for washing the dishes. Instead of dumping three sponges every two months into the Great Landfill, I wash, and wash, and re-wash my dish towels.

I'm still reaching for the paper towels to clean up messes. But after downgrading from Viva to Bounty to save a few pennies, I'm ready to invest in some bar towels for mopping up spills.

But I think the real test of a committment to free (disposable) napkins comes at party-time. Is there anyone out there who solely uses cloth napkins for entertaining a crowd for a birthday party of cocktails?

Tell me, are you ready to free the napkin?

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What’s wrong with a few drinks during Spring Break? Plenty if you’re under-age.

And youth ages 14 to 20 have lots to say about it in the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation’s 2009 “Why Not?” Spring Break Video Contest.

Participants submitted videos on why they choose not to make alcohol a part of spring break plans: It’s unsafe, is the prevalent theme.

Using YouTube.com and SchoolTube.com, the initiative provided peer-to-peer communication through the Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco’s education and prevention efforts. The partnership also incorporated the Department of Education that encouraged educators throughout the state to share the contest with students.

The emphasis is a good year-round topic: after all, we have holidays, weekends and summers too!

Make it a family time moment when you check out the 30-second spots at MyFloridaLicense.com.

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Who doesn’t want their kid to be adventurous?

We want our young man to brave his new world, make it bigger, and try new things. He's turning 14 years old in a few weeks.

We want him to actually visit family – in other states – for extended periods of time: a week, a summer month, a holiday - without us along.

It's all good stuff – he should spread his wings.
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Only, should he spread his wings alone – that is – fly solo?

Independent Traveler.com , basically tells a horror story of a child flying unaccompanied by an adult.(There is a happy ending) The article goes on to give advice and some things to consider when booking a flight.

Just about every commercial airline website addresses the issue of a minor flying solo. They post their policies and provide tips.

There are websites, such as Forms4Parents.com where I can purchase a form and fill it in with detailed information. I can include instructions, identification and contact information.Then I can tuck the paperwork into The Kid’s pocket and keep my fingers crossed.

I can pack him off with a cell phone.

I know, I know, but this is also an emotional decision.

Do I hop on the plane and fly out with him and at the end of the visit, go out and come back with him?

Maybe I just ought to let him visit family via Facebook, from the safety of our own home.

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She bounces on the bed. I yell. She keeps bouncing.

This is a common lament from parents of step children. Not the bouncing on the bed part, but the fact that orders are ignored.

A Miami mother is struggling with how to discipline her 3-year-old stepdaughter. Wise parents who've been there and done that, we need your help.

What steps should she take in disciplining her stepchild?

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I had one of those “light bulb” moments the other day when my 4-year-old son tagged along for a quick trip to the salon. As I sat in the chair and chatted with my hairstylist, my son played his video games contently.

Before long, we started talking about the economy: The slumping real estate market. People losing jobs. 401(k)s disappearing. We must have used words, such as “bad,” “scary,” and “sad” in what amounted to a three-minute conversation.

My son stopped playing his game and put an end to it: “Stop talking, Mommy!” He said it firmly, with an intensity that was more concern than childish.

Shocked, my hairstylist and I quickly changed the subject and quietly wondered if my son actually understood what we were talking about. He may not know what being “underwater” on your mortgage means, but he certainly knew Mommy was not talking about happy things.

The experience really made me appreciate the degree to which young children can worry about issues that are far beyond their years. That afternoon, I saw my son in a different light. And I vowed to be more mindful of how and when I talk about sensitive topics.

The American Academy of Pediatrics has prepared tips for parents and caregivers when it comes to talking to kids about the economy. Among other things, they recommend limiting TV and other media time; talking to your pediatrician if your child shows signs of stress; and choosing your words carefully.

What tips do you have about talking to your kids about the economy?

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My wife has a line about schools: “I don’t want our kids to be the ‘only only.’” By that she means the only brown-skinned kid in the class. Our two boys are biracial. I’m white; my wife is black.

The question has arisen lately because we are considering new schools or day cares for both boys. (One is 16 months; the other is almost 3.) What’s interesting is defining how much racial diversity is enough. And what happens if a school gradually shifts while your child is there – say it loses most of its black, or white, students over several years. Do we notice?

South Florida is interesting in this regard. People often extol this area for its rich mix of people and races. And it’s true: that does exist. And, compared to Northern cities, it’s still a relatively “new” metropolis, so social divisions are not as entrenched. So what does this mean? Well, we have friends who resemble our extended family – black and white, working-class and well-to-do, with international connections mixed in here and there. My kids have more Spanish-speaking friends than would have had in New York.

But still I wonder. It’s easy to create social worlds that look exactly like us. And honestly, I find there’s a voice in my head that says: “But if it’s a great school, then its racial makeup can take a back seat.” Easy for me to say, perhaps, since I’m white. So that leads me back to the question: how much diversity is enough?

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As a city slicker, I fantasized about summer camp.

There would be campfires by a sparkling pond. Dinner plates heavy with sweets -- Who eats real food during camp? Secrets shared between bunks.

And then I went to camp. We had the campfires with throngs of mosquitos. We had dinner plates heavy with greasy lasagna and even greasier rolls. We had no privacy to swap secrets at night because the camp counselor slept in the same cabin.

Before you send you child off to camp, bust their bubble as mine should have been. South Florida Parenting's March issue is a guide to camps and includes tips on how to ensure a great camp experience for you and your child. On the list: Talk about dealing with peer pressure.

Read the other tips, here.

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Getting dinner to the table within an hour of getting home is a nearly impossible feat.

But I've found that casseroles, cooking on weekends and supplements go a long way to getting dinner made in short order.

And by supplements, I mean the cooked rotisserie chickens at grocery stores, the order of ribs from a favorite restaurant, the frozen shrimp purchased -- on sale -- by the bag.

Filling in the edges of the meal with fresh vegetables, microwaved potatoes or steamed rice is much easier.

So grab a rotisserie chicken tonight and make a Chicken Avocado Pecan salad, Fast Chicken Black Bean Chili, Tortilla Soup with Shredded Chicken and Diced Avocado or Chicken Pot Pie. (The links take you to the recipes as they appeared in today's paper.)

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Headache, schmedache - send the kid to school.

Or should you?

There's times we send our 13-year old to school even when he complains of a headache, stomach ache - or might - just might have an ever so slight fever.

I know. That's so cold. KidsHeatlh has some good pointers, tips and advice on the matter.

Still - we don't want him to stop the world just because he isn't feeling 100 percent. And only this week, we actually did let him stay home two days.

After all, how many times do we go to work when we'd rather be home because we feel a little "under the weather?"

So, which is it in your house: pamper him or her with their favorite blankey, hot tea and cozy pillows?

Or like me, pack 'em up and ship 'em out with a pat on the head for encouragement? (Wouldn't want to kiss them in case they're contagious!)

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Wow, homework is a hot topic.

We’re only looking out for our kids’ interests, from many points of view.

My last blog entry This just in: Kids assigned too much homework? elicited a lot of reaction from South Florida parents.

Eliza felt strongly that teachers are overly micromanaged: “We tie teachers' hands and continually lower the bar for our kids regarding their education.”

And Julie presented another perspective: “Yes, they need to learn discipline to enter the workforce, however, do adults spend most weekends and evenings doing work? or do adults go home from work and golf, ski, hike, go to movie, etc? I work full time, but I don't work every night for 2 hours and every weekend for 6 hours.”

Somewhere in the middle is balance - and truth. An elementary school student bringing home two hours worth of homework begs the following questions: Why? What happened in class that day? Does the student have difficulty paying attention? Is it really class work that was not completed? Is it really a 30-minute assignment but you are having trouble keeping your child on task? Maybe there is some fessing up to be done.

And teachers just might possibly appreciate the guidelines. I’d love to hear from some. Is every homework assignment graded? What's the value in giving homework - it's just more work for you too.

I agree trips and getaways are tricky to plan when there is homework to be done.

So, what grade would you give the Broward County School Board for this initiative:
Broward County School Board sets homework limits.

What do you like about it, what would you change?

[UPDATE:] Take a look at today's March 20th story by Akilah Johnson: Education Debate Bringing home too much work?

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I have the saddest cell phone plan in the land: No text messaging, no free calls. So I was plum happy to find a money-saver for when I needed to call for information.

Google is offering a free 411 service and it works like a charm. At least it did for me on Friday, when I wanted to place a takeout order for shrimp fried rice.

I dialed the Google number, and told the Dude (an automated voice) the name of the restaurant, city and state of its location. I had part of the name wrong, but Dude corrected me and then connected me.

Whoopee!

Save this number in your cell, and let me know how it works for you. Of course, normal cell phone fees apply if you have a limited cell phone plan as I do.

The number: 800 GOOG 411 (that's 800-466-4411).

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I can vouch for the influence parents have over their communities.

When I was way too young to remember, my dad was on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He represented white people pushing for change, he represented his faith as a Presbyterian minister, and ultimately, he simply represented his family.

Recently, one of my brothers found this clip about him from an old 1961 edition of Jet Magazine. He was quoted, “Let me tell you of several incidents when Jesus was caught in the act of sitting-in,” said Henry Warren Kunce. I cannot begin to express my pride!

So it’s not a stretch for me to see the value in National Parent Leadership Month that honors and celebrates parents for the vital roles they fill in their homes and communities.

But, not everyone has the opportunity to take on a mission like the one my dad did.

Still, other issues are just as noble, like Prevent Child Abuse Florida. For many, it’s a cause way too close to home.

The organization engages parent leaders in developing program strategies and public awareness materials through its Florida Circle of Parents program, to prevent child abuse and neglect through mutual, self-help parent support groups.

Based on shared leadership, mutual respect, and inclusiveness, the free, confidential and non-judgmental groups are open to anyone in a parenting or care-giving role.

There are 54 groups throughout Florida.

Find a Florida Circle of Parents support group in your area.

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At the end of a long work day, the last thing I want to do is make a nutrious meal for my 23 month old.

On those days, I usually rely on party foods to make a meal without making a meal. The crackers come out its sleeve, the block of cheddar gets sliced and topped with pre-sliced, bagged apples.

But the other day I rediscovered how to get a fuller meal to the table without lifting a finger: have hubbie make a casserole.

We've eaten severals meals from the one-dish wonder of chicken/rice/broccoli. And I've committed myself to making TWO casseroles this weekend to serve during the week when energy is in short supply.

If you want the recipe, click below. Otherwise, share a link to your favorite casserole recipe for other time-strapped parents to use.

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Like the rest of the country, I am reading every word about Nadya Suleman, the California mother of six who just gave birth to octuplets.

The lurid details continue to fascinate: She is single. The first six were also born by artificial insemination. One of the first six is autistic. Her mother is refusing to help her anymore.

But for me, the key questions are: How could the doctors allow this? Who is paying for the babies' hospital care (taxpayers?)? Who will support these children financially (a book deal)?

At the end of this report is a good quote from a Parkland psychologist, Judith Horowitz, who works on fertility issues: "This woman could not comprehend the ramifications of having eight children of the same age at the same time...After Pampers stops delivering the free diapers, then what?"

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Priority #1: Safety. Hands down, when it comes to our children. But somehow, we let our guard down in the process of making child care decisions.

Parents of children under the age of 6 are most concerned about safety when choosing child care, according to a recent survey. The report, Parents' Perceptions of Child Care in the United States, highlights other top issues: learning environments with trained child care providers, and cost. Zogby International conducted the telephone poll of 1,004 parents in November for the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The report also revealed that parents assume a lot: that there is governmental oversight to ensure child care safety; that background checks are conducted and employees do get training on child development, CPR, child guidance and discipline, and can recognize signs of child abuse.

Sometimes, we parents are naive, just like our children. We place complete trust and faith in the system, just as our children do us. The report went on to say parents believe that state governments license and inspect all child care programs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The NACCRRA reports that only about half of the states inspect child care settings only once a year or less.

The report details its findings on cost and other child care issues. The NACCRRA provides links, facts and score cards.

If you had been asked - and other than safety – what is your biggest child care concern?

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So what if the kid gets good grades? That's his job. He's supposed to. If he gets bad grades - he's grounded until his next report card. It's a hardball philosophy, but we stick with it.

He's set up for success. He has his own room, a desk, a computer and good lighting. He has shelves full of books, paper and pencils. He gets three square meals a day. He has time and space to do his study and homework. He has free time, friends and sport activities.

We acknowledge his good work and grades with a dinner or by going out somewhere special. He'll get a little surprise like a t-shirt or a few bucks so he can by something. I don't think any of that is overly extreme. It's consistent, which is what we are teaching him - constancy.

But what about kids who seem to need extra motivation? I know of one person who would give their child about $200 for a report card with no "Cs" on it. But since the child did get Cs this quarter, there was no reward. It kind of produced a "don't matter" result.

To me, there is so much wrong with that kind of dangling carrot: it devalues the teacher and the spirit of personal growth. It certainly goes against the idea of constancy.

It's an age-old question, with answers that come from various angles. A Kiplinger's Newletter columnist says it's a slippery slope.

A blogger at Queercents.com agrees its a bad deal. Comments for and against the practice follow her post.

Listen to an NPR interview that features Mocha Moms on the topic of cash incentives schools are beginning to implement.

Assuming you checked in with everyone involved in your child's education, but your child were still performing poorly - grade-wise - in school, what motivational push would you give?

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My four-year-old son is a walking commercial.

My husband and I recently decided that it was OK for him to watch a few cartoons that were previously off limits – SpiderMan, Ben 10, Phineas and Ferb. He’s enjoying the more sophisticated dialogue (Albeit the occasional “stupid” reference, which we have explained is a “bad word.”)

The real problem is the commercials. These new shows are riddled with ads, and my son just eats them up.

In the past week, here are a few of the exchanges my son and I have had:

“Mom, look! Bendaroos! I want those,” he explains to me with the excitement of opening a Christmas gift. “If you buy one, you get another free!”

Ouch.

Last night, my son asked me to take off my sweatshirt, suggesting instead that I use a blanket to stay warm. I explained to him that blankets aren’t as practical because you can’t wear them around the house the way you wear a sweatshirt. It’ll just slide off my arms.

“You can buy a snuggie. Right, Mom?” he said, completely oblivious that he sounded like a pitchman for As Seen on TV products. “That’s a good idea.”

Oh, no.

The icing on the cake came at bedtime, when my son squeezed in a few more minutes of playtime with his Bionicles (which are a new line of Lego toys).

“New, from Bionicles,” he said as he lay them down next to his bed.

That’s it. From now on we are going to Tivo the shows and fast forward through the commercials.

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Baby needed a new pair of shoes, so I headed to Stride Rite at Broward Mall.

And before I could enter the store, I had a WTF moment. There was three shelves of shoes by Jessica Simpson, for girls.

GIRLS.

And, yes, I'm talking about that tart Jessica Simpson who has taken being blond, busty and a bumbling idiot to the bank.

What kind of message is this sending to our girls. Have you gotten these shoes as a gift from the clueless aunt? Or did you, gasp, buy them yourself for your little darling in a moment of weakness??

Let's talk!

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The time is coming for my husband and me to do our biennial ritual: Give our daughter a bat mitzvah party.

Our three girls are two years apart, and no. 2's bat mitzvah will be in September. We are wrestling with how much to spend when we don't have money to splurge.

My first daughter's party was not an expensive affair, but it was good enough. However, we have even less money now for the upcoming event.

We went to a bar mitzvah this past Saturday night and saw a performance by The Amazing Bottle Dancers, which I really enjoyed. I would love to have something like that at our party, but extras like that are out of the question because of the cost, whatever it is.

Got any money-saving tips for putting on a classy event on a low budget?

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One of my New Year’s resolutions sounds simple, but it's not: eating dinner as a family more often.

Because of our work schedules, my husband often eats dinner with our four-year-old son during the week. I arrive shortly after, if I’m lucky. I do my best to make it home in time at least once or twice during the workweek. The weekends are my time to cook and hopefully leave enough leftovers to last a few days.

But it’s just not good enough. Countless studies have explored the benefits of a family dinner for children of all ages. That time around the table purportedly guards against obesity, results in better grades at school, and helps prevent teens from engaging in illicit behavior.

Forget the studies. I don’t need a report to tell me that spending quality family time together has lasting benefits. So I’ve decided to alter my son’s schedule. We now eat dinner a little later and moved up my son’s bath time. We’ve only tried it for a few days, but it seems to be working.

And I can tell my son enjoys the special time together. Just last night, he turned to me in between bites of his fricase de pollo and said: “Mom, you’re the best cooker!”

How do you make dinnertime work for your family?

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The police reports so far are mind-blowing: A mother may have purposely set the fire that killed her 11-month-old daughter. She and her 2-year-old escaped.

Could this just all be a terrible mistake? Did she intend to burn down the home, but not injure her children??

What do you think?

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It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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Our readers appear to be torn over who should be blamed for the sex scandal at Glades Middle School in Miramar.

It's important to note that not all facts on the case have been revealed. Here's what we do know:

Three 7th graders have been suspended and face expulsion for alleged "inappropriate sexual conduct." The school district on Wednesday used the word "perpetrators" to describe the three students (two boys, one girl). A short time later, police issued a news release indicating there were others involved in the case who were described as "victims."

School district spokesman Keith Bromery said Wednesday that two teachers were reassigned as part of the investigation because the behavior is alleged to have occurred in their classrooms.

And that's one part of the story that seems to have parents upset. To put it delicately, what exactly was this "inappropriate sexual conduct," and how could it have taken place in a classroom without a teacher noticing? The more serious the misconduct, the harder it is to believe a teacher didn't notice it.

So how serious was it?

Meanwhile, other readers who are responding to the story think we should be blaming the parents of the three suspended students. Teach them right from wrong, they argue, and we won't be reading about sex in the classroom.

That may be true, but it doesn't account for teenage rebellion. I mean, if Franklin Graham could go through a period of rebellion (despite the efforts of his father -- a preacher named Billy whose name you might recognize), how can anyone automatically blame the parents when teens go astray?

"Not only do kids rebel -- kids need to rebel," said Jaclynn Faffer, chief executive officer of Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca, which runs a hotline for teens who need counseling.

Unfortunately, she said, sometimes teen rebellion can go too far, particularly when parental influence is outweighed by other factors. "Once kids are entering adolescence, peer groups have much more influence than parents," she said. Add to that a pervasive media and the Internet, and the job of keeping kids in line becomes more difficult for even the most involved parents.

Not that Faffer lets parents off the hook: "There is still the reality that parents need to spend time with their kids, talk to them, open a dialogue. And that needs to start at a young age."

Other readers are blaming school administrators, the principal and even the alleged victims, who didn't begin reporting the incidents until last Thursday.

Blame the perpetrators? Blame the victims? Blame the teachers? Blame the parents? Blame the school?

We know the old saying: it takes a village to raise a child. Is the whole village, then, to blame?

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What do we tell our kids about why people are protesting our governor's wedding on Friday?

According to GaySoFla.com, members of Impact-Florida will protest Gov. Charlie Crist's wedding to Carol Rome at a St. Petersburg church and will follow the reception to the Renaissance Vinoy.

The protesters want to point out that Crist, who voted for Amendment 2, has the right to marry, a right they believe gays and lesbians should also have.

After the demonstration, participants plan to gather at the Green Iguana, a bar in Tampa where Crist hung out as a bachelor.

Although I want to be up front with my kids about sexual issues, I often get tongue tied after the first sentence or two. I found some good suggestions here on how to keep the conversations on gay marriage simple and direct.

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OK, moral dilemma here. Someone on the condo board asked me recently what I think about the building’s “no pets” policy. There's a movement afoot to reconsider the policy, and as a board member, I might have some sway in the matter.

So here’s the question: Is it OK to support changing the policy to benefit my kids if I wouldn’t otherwise? I grew up with pets, and it’s generally made me a better person (or at least I hope). There are also practical benefits, like cats keeping mice away. Still, truth be told, I don’t want everyone to get a pet. I just want one for my kids. Even then I wonder how a cat or a dog would fit in our condo.

As you can see, I’d like the option for my kids. But as an owner, I worry about people failing to take care of their animals, both for the sake of the animal and the building. So it’s the personal vs. the collective good here. In the immortal words of Bernie Mac, America, what should I do?

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The Sun Sentinel reported that a first-grader wielding a kitchen knife robbed a 6-year-old classmate of one dollar at a Pembroke Pines school.

What is wrong with our children, their parents?? I'm looking for seriously constructive advice, here. Parents of reformed bullies speak out: what did you learn from the experience?

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Among the many details that have emerged about the murders of almost 200 people in Mumbai, including Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and his wife, Rivkah, is that two of their children have suffered from Tay-Sachs, a deadly genetic disease.

It's a lipid storage disorder often found among Jews of Eastern European descent. The children become blind and deaf and their muscles atrophy. There is no cure and they die at a young age.

The Holtzbergs had one son who died of the disease and another who is currently being treated for it in an Israeli hospital. Rivkah Holtzberg was pregnant when she was killed. The couple also has a two-year-old son, Moshe, who apparently witnessed the murder of his parents but was rescued by his nanny.

Clearly the couple knew they were carriers, but as Orthodox Jews, they likely believed God commanded them to have many children. It's a devastating dilemma that many of us have to go through to different degrees in our own lives.

There's a Boca Raton-based foundation, the Matthew Forbes Romer Foundation, that assists people with questions about genetic disorders. Click here for more information.

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I love the Rev. Ed Young's acronym for KIDS: Keeping Intimacy at a Distance Successfully.

Young, pastor of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, created the "Seven Days of Sex" program, in which he encourages his churchgoers to have sex every day for a week. He promises it will improve their relationships. There's a branch of Young's church in South Miami.

Young says kids are often used as an excuse for couples not to have sex. This is not news to anyone who is married, although few want to admit it. It takes a lot of work to maintain an intimate life in the face of jobs, house payments, a sour economy, whining kids and a million other commitments.

So I think Young, pictured here with his wife, is on to something with this "sexperiment," as he calls it. It will be interesting to see if it leads to a happier congregation or even more divorces.

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We just started researching pre-K for my three-year-old Ana Isabel.

Talk about daunting. There's hundreds of programs out there. So we've started by asking for recommendations from friends. We plan to visit some sites. And then we turned to the Internet.

That's when I came across the State of Florida Department of Education Voluntary Prekindergarten (VPK) Program Provider Kindergarten Readiness Rate Website.

A mouthful, for sure. But basically it rates VPK programs. It measures how well VPK providers prepare children for kindergarten using state standards.

You can check out one program, all providers in a city or the entire state for that matter.

I did a quick check of those that were recommended to us. It raised a question or two about one. But we'll still visit, ask those question and then make a decision.

Just for fun, I downloaded all the VPK providers in Broward and Palm Beach counties and then did a quick ranking.

The top score, or readiness rate, is 300, That means 100 percent of the students in that program were deemed ready for kindergarten. Those programs with low scores are required to provide an improvement plan to the state. And some programs, while listed, didn't have enough students for the state to measure.

Take a look. See how the program where you send your kid, or want to send or kid, did.

Broward County Palm Beach County

If nothing else, it's a starting point for questions for your VPK provider.

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Teens who are more comfortable talking about their problems electronically might prefer this new counseling service offered by the Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca.

Teen Talk offers professional therapy for troubled teens no matter where they live. They can communicate by e-mail (markc@rrjfs.org) or phone (561-852-3333 or 800-393-5397) with a licensed clinical social worker.

The site is cited in the November issue of YouthToday, a national newspaper for people who work with kids.

It's a great idea. How many teens make an appointment with their school counselor when they have a problem? Or ask their parents if they can talk privately with a therapist? This way, they can remain anonymous and unload on a professional who will make sure they get quality help in a style they're comfortable with.

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This has become a familiar line in the household. Our sons, ages 1 and 2-and-a-half, are taking to taking their frustrations out on each other. You’d think that it would be driven by the older one, but no, both engage in this age-old sibling tradition. I never expected to order my 1-year-old to “stop hitting.” I mean, he can’t even say the word! It seemed like that parental refrain would be saved for later years.

My question is whether, psychologically, they can understand at this age that it’s wrong. We can tell them not to do it, and that will have an effect. We remove treats, take away fun trips and put them on a time out. So maybe the association of hitting-leading-to-disappointment is what we hope for at this point. But I wonder: How can we get toddlers to understand that hitting is inherently bad? What worked for you?

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I remember when the Internet and other new technologies started becoming popular around 15 or so years ago and everyone thought it would cause families to communicate less and become isolated from each other.

A study released this week by the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that not only wasn't that true, the opposite happened. The technology has allowed us to have a "new connectedness."

Cell phones, e-mail and texting allow us to keep in touch when we're not together. Families go on-line together; I am always asking my kids to show me how to find things on the Internet and visa versa.

But the technology can also create tensions. "Those with multiple communication devices are somewhat less likely to eat dinner with other household members and somewhat less likely to report high levels of satisfaction with their family and leisure time than are families with lower levels of technology ownership."

Have you found technology has aided you in relating to your kids? Or is it more a source of friction?

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As a kid, I felt very insecure when my parents would tell me about their cash-flow problems. What was I supposed to do with that information? So I have been hesitant to talk to my girls about our national and personal financial challenges.

Despite my hesitations, the news is almost impossible to avoid. I am trying to figure out the best way to begin the conversation.

I told my nine-year-old she could no longer take gymnastics at her favorite place because it is too expensive ($97 a month for a weekly lesson). I could see she felt bad, and confused. To her, the idea that it is "expensive" is pretty meaningless. And she wasn't sure what to do with the fact that a place she loved was putting a burden on the family. I found another gym that was less costly, but she declined.

Parenting Web sites, such as ParentCentral.ca, tell you this national crisis is a good time for kids to learn the value of money and how to economize. Sure, they can start saving their pennies. But how much do you tell them to convey the enormity of the crisis? It just seems like a heavy load for young kids to absorb.

What kind of economic conversations have you been having with your kids?

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Atlanta's gas crisis appears to be over, but for some reason I am fearful that our South Florida stations also will run out of gas.

Every time I pass the cheapest gas station near my house now, I fill up, even if I only need a quarter of a tank.

Metro Atlanta stations ran out of gas after Hurricane Ike late last month. Experts said the pipeline that brings gas to "the Southeast" (not sure why it didn't affect us here) got disrupted. So Atlanta stations started placing limits on how much gas you could buy. Many ran out of gas and didn't get refills for days, creating miles-long lines at stations that did have gas.

My state of panic is not helped by my gas-guzzling minivan. It means I have to top off my car every three or four days! Please help me calm down and allay my fears that we will always have plenty of gas in South Florida (ha!).

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For a while, there was an upside for us to the bad housing market. We live in a condo, and for several months we had no one next door or below us. This meant we spent less time trying to get our kids (ages 2 and 11 months) to be quiet “for the neighbors.” This is, of course, a mostly futile task. The older one listens briefly, but then is back to jumping off a bed or couch once we turn our heads.

But the “sound vacation” is over. We now have a couple (without kids) below us, meaning we are back to pleading with our kids to be quiet for the neighbors.

We’ve never gotten a complaint, and our neighbors seem to be patient and understanding. One former neighbor even said “that’s what babies do” when I warned her that our baby would be crying for long periods while he learned to sleep through the night.

Here’s the question: How do you deal with neighbors and noise? Do you talk to them beforehand about it? Do you apologize for particularly noisy days? Or do you let them address the issue to you? What’s worked?

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Our 2-year-old, Alexander, figured something out recently: If one parent says no, try the other.

We've tried to hold the line, but there's been at least one crack in the "we're united on discipline" front. I confess that I was to blame for that one. (Sorry!) But it's a fascinating process to watch unfold. He wants to know what buttons to push, and when to push them.

That got me thinking: How does this apply to your household?

So cast your vote below.

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Would you make your teen get married if she got pregnant?

We got an uncomfortably close view of this type of very personal teen drama when the pregnant Bristol Palin, 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and her "fiance," Levi Johnston, took the stage at the Republican convention last week.

I couldn't take my eyes off this young couple and kept wondering how their "engagement" came about. Were they going to get married anyway? Or is it being forced upon them for political expediency?

Studies show about half of teen marriages end in divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of adults who marry after age 25. So Bristol and Levi are likely to have a failed marriage on top of a baby in their teen years, not to mention immaturity issues (you probably read about Levi calling himself a "f----n redneck" and saying he didn't want kids on his MySpace page).

What are your thoughts on this shotgun marriage? Are Bristol and Levi doing the right thing?

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We celebrated my daughter finally learning to use the potty. She did it the week before her third birthday. What a relief.

Then came a wrinkle I really didn't think of until, well, my daughter had to go potty and her mommy wasn't around.

I went with Ana Isabel to the beach just us two for a little papi and daughter time. She loves the ocean. She played in the sand. And we had a ball in the small waves. Then came the moment: "Papi, I have to go potty!" she says.

After a brief second of panic, I blurted out: "We're at the beach, go right here." She looked at me with a blank stare and said it again. "Papi, potty." OK. That wasn't the best idea.

I picked her up and headed to the bathrooms, the public men's room. As I'm racing with Ana in my arms, I'm thinking: "Do I take her in the women's room?"

I know what most public men's rooms look like. I'd rather not take my daughter in there. As we approached the two bathrooms doors, a scraggly looking man walked out of the men's room.

"Anybody else in there?" I blurted out. He quickly answered, I think one other person. At least, it was not a public restroom full of grown men standing in front of urinals. We raced into the large wheelchair accessible stall. No one else in site.

Ana peed. I probably was more relieved than she was. Later in the day, we used a unisex bathroom at a restaurant. That was better.

I make it a point to do things with my daughter alone, especially since the arrival of Lucas Emilio four months ago. So I guess I'm going to be dealing with this dilemma for a while.

Any other suggestions for taking my daughter potty in public when mommy's not around?

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I'm all for women achieving the highest political offices. But at what point do you have too many kids to take on the nation's second, and potentially first, most important job?

Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin's kids are 19, 17, 14, 7 and four months. The four-month-old has Down syndrome. The 17-year-old is pregnant.

Palin's family issues have ignited debates among women across the country, sometimes switching stereotypes. Lots of normally conservative women are cheering her ability to juggle family issues and political life, while some normally liberal women are wondering whether she can handle so many heavy responsibilities.

What's your take? Can Palin be supermom and Vice President? Or are five kids too much for a VP to handle?

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Today is Ana Isabel's third birthday. Hard to believe. Seems to me like she just got here.

Funny thing with birthdays. For the third year in a row, my wife and I talked about an appropriate way to celebrate our daughter's annual milestone.

We discussed a party but decided against it. That to me seems, well, like a waste of time and money. I know that for many people it's the only way to go.

But here's what we're doing: Ana, her little brother and my wife went shopping for the ingredients to make her birthday cupcakes. They'll plan to spend today baking.

Tomorrow, they'll take the cupcakes to a monthly book club/playdate. And next week, I'm off of work and plan to spend time with her on my own and together as a family, going to the beach and maybe even a trip to Wannado City. And she's already received a ton of presents from family and friends.

We think all those activities are fun memorable ways to celebrate. Still, my wife said to me the other day that she feels funny when she tells others that we're not having a birthday party.

Maybe we'll have one next year when it'll mean more to my daughter. But for this year, I'm really looking forward to cupcakes, the beach, Wannado City and just spending time with Ana.

Is that so wrong?

An update: Last week, I blogged about Ana's reluctance to go on the potty. Well, two days later, she decided it was time. She went on the potty. We've had a few accidents. But there's progress. Thanks to those who gave us many tips. We have used some and it has helped.

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Watching your kid fall has to be the worst thing for a parent. That was me this week, as my 9-month-old tumbled off the couch head first. All I saw were his feet as he went overboard.

Rowan was fine, but the image of those feet keeps playing in my mind. So it got me thinking about falls. My father still has nightmares about the time my sister fell down the stairs. I have a friend who talks about the time she jerked backwards in her high chair and landed flat on her head. (The only thing it hurt, she jokes, was her math skills.) And I can’t even count the times I fell as a kid.

What do you do to avoid falls? We don’t, I’ll be honest, do much baby- or toddler-proofing of the house. My philosophy has been that they should learn to function safely in the space we have. Maybe that’s misguided. We cover the electrical outlets but we don’t block off rooms to the kids (ages 2 and 9 months). What has worked for you?

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I was in New York last week visiting family and friends. I took Rowan, our 9 month old. This meant many things, including: the Great Subway Lift. (That’s us in the picture). Yes, that arduous climb up -- or down -- the stairs with a stroller jammed with bags. It’s a moment when you want your kid to stop growing. Instead, your baby looks huge in front of the flights of stairs. It’s hot. No one wants to help you. And then you realize: this is only the first trip of the day.

This got me thinking. What is the South Florida equivalent of the Great Subway Lift? Here’s my answer: the walk to the beach. It’s brutal. You park and think, “We’re almost there.” But no! The journey has just begun. You corral the kids and gather the beach accoutrements, but part of you just wants to turn on your heels and go home. But like the subway, you plow on. Family compels you. You think, “This is fun.”

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With 139,000 miles and a constantly expanding list of problems brewing in my 2000 Toyota Sienna, the time is approaching for me to get a new car.

But what to buy? There are no hybrid minivans out there. Although the Sienna gets about 22 miles per gallon, I would like a car with better fuel efficiency. A new car is going to have to be smaller if I want better mileage. I'd have to find a way to squeeze in my kids and their friends.

Then again, maybe I should keep fixing this one. The latest repair it needs: a charcoal canister, canister valve and vacuum switch blade. Toyota says this repair will cost $996. I'm checking with my local mechanic to see what he would charge. But at a certain point, I'm going to have to say good-bye to this very reliable old minivan.

How do you decide when to get a new car?

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Big brother sticks his finger in baby Charlie's mouth and is surprised by the resulting pain.

This YouTube video was posted May 22, 2007 and has gotten nearly 43 million hits. Thanks to the co-worker who alerted me to this funny video.

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There are pictures of me as a little girl with hair past my shoulders and probably halfway down my back. But I haven't had long hair since junior high.

So I can't relate to my three girls, ages 9, 11 and 14, who refuse to even get their hair trimmed. The lengths range from the shoulders to the butt.

They are no longer at an age where I can make them go for haircuts. I have been thinking about bribery.

Why am I so obsessed with them getting their hair cut? It simply will look better. I think it will be more flattering to their faces. It will be easier for them to wash and brush. Why do they need to look exactly like everyone else? And on and on.

I know at some point I will have to give up on nagging and wait 'til they come to me and say they want a haircut. Any ideas for incentives in the meantime?

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A Newsweek article summed it this way: NO!

It details research that says people with no children, fewer responsibilities, more time and money for themselves, are actually happier than those with children. Sounds good, no?

It made me think back to my bachelor days and when Carrie Ann and I first got married. Sure, we went to more parties, traveled more and drank more wine together. It was nice, I must say.

Now try to imagine life without your kids. That means no Ana Isabel running up to me when I walk in the door, arms stretched out yelling papi. That means no watching Lucas Emilio grow from a newborn into cooing, smiling baby. That means no watching Ana try to read a book to her brother. Or no Lucas smiling as his sister tries to cuddle with him.

Thanks. But no thanks.

Being a parent is hard. No doubt. But can you imagine life without your children in it? I can't.

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By Cindy Kent

I want to be Dara Torres, the Parkland Olympic hopeful and oldest female swimmer in the history of the games -- and cool mom.

Very cool mom.

(Just a little aside here - we, the media, tend to string together her vitals every time she is mentioned. We don't profile men the same way - "that 41-year old dad and oldest male in the history of...")

Torres is fit and full of energy.

I can see it in the photos of her and her with her daughter.

She said she was doing this for her daughter. I get that.

Being devoted to something, the follow-through and discipline, getting in shape and staying healthy to be your best for your family - I get that too.

So - I think I measure up pretty darn well to my fellow mom.

Well, not in a bathing suit perhaps - but in spirit, for sure.

I am a great example to my kids. I have passion, enthusiasm and energy in just about everything I do - including housecleaning, the laundry and yard work.

Though I'm still trying to get the kids buzzed about doing even the most mundane, yet necessary things in life - I know they see my joy in being their mom. I like to think of myself as their personal Olympian!

(Hey, where are those kids--just when I'm looking to quote one of them here?)



Cindy Kent is a Fort Lauderdale mother of three

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As a child, social networking involved a red kickball. All it took was the sight of the ball being launched in the air by a neighboring kid's foot to get me outdoors and socializing.

How pedestrian.

These days kids socialize by logining on to a MySpace, or Facebook or uploading a video of said selves to YouTube.

And in this new social structure enters TotSpot, a place for pre-school kids to swap virtually boogers.

Does your wee one use TotSpot? Lifestyle reporter Liz Doup would like to hear from you. Send her a note at ldoup@sun-sentinel.com.

Or perhaps you frequent the site, famzam that is geared more to families wanting to share photos, videos, recipes, etc. Either way, Liz would love to talk with you.

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I had one of those “ah ha!” moments this week. I noticed that when I get up from meals, Alexander, our 2-year-old, tends to wander away as well. Obvious, right? But somehow it just made sense this week.

It might be that Alexander is growing more and more independent. He’s sleeping in a “big boy” bed now and learning to play on his own. So it makes sense that he’ll decide to get up from the table when he wants to. He’ll also follow our lead. If he feels like there’s fun to be had at the table, he’ll stay. So our job is to stay put as a family and eat a meal.

That’s easier said than done, of course. Our big meal together as a family tends to be breakfast, and that’s inevitably rushed. Unfortunately, I usually get home too late for dinner. This probably gets into the debate over “equally shared parenting” that Lois Solomon wrote about earlier this week. I’d love to give my kids the kind of fun, conversation-filled dinners I had growing up. But newspapers have a way of eating into evening hours. So perhaps I’ll try to set a start time for breakfast to avoid the coming and going. We’ll see if it works.

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It's hard to imagine a husband and a wife sharing child-care, financial and domestic responsibilities in a perfect 50-50 split.

But there's an organization out there, with a devoted following, dedicated to making sure parents split duties with perfect egalitarianism. Detailed in a New York Times article last Sunday that's been on the most e-mailed list for the past few days, the story explores how despite the best of intentions of our post-feminist generations, women inevitably end up doing more housework, curtailing their career ambitions and spending more time taking care of the kids.

That is my story, so of course I could relate to the statistics that showed the imbalance. I was intrigued, though, to see there are couples out there who don't accept that and have created detailed systems, with help from ThirdPath Institute, to divvy up responsibilities equitably and enthusiastically.

How have you split up child care duties with your spouse? Who cleans the house? Who makes more money?

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The sting from Mother’s Day is slowly subsiding. Yes, Mother’s Day.

For the special occasion, my three-year-old son answered a series of questions posed by his teachers for a special, keepsake memento for Mommy. Questions like:

“My mother’s eyes are _(green)___ . My mother’s hair is _(brown)__ . My mother’s favorite color is _(red)__ .”

Cute, harmless stuff. Then came the zinger, the one I can’t get out of my mind and has fueled both tears of laughter and sadness.

“My mother loves to _(WORK!!!!)_.”

OK, he didn’t actually yell the answer to his teachers (the caps and exclamation points are how I read it). But he might as well have. His answer gets to the heart of insecurity for most working moms I know. And it breaks my heart to think “work” is what first came to his mind.

My husband and my son’s teacher both worried I might take it the wrong way. I’m sorry: What good way is there to take it? Yes, I’m sure at three years old, my son said it as matter-of-factly as, “The sky is blue.” Still doesn’t make me feel any better. (That said, I’m sure I feel better than the mom whose son said: “My mother loves to ___(put me in time out.)_”)

A colleague at work, hearing my telling of the story, offered some insight that poured salt on the wound: “It’s not where you want to be that matters to children. It’s where you are.”

Leave it to my son to be the one to make me feel better. He overheard me reciting the Mommy questionnaire on the phone to my mother.

“You’re never going to believe what he said,” I told my mom.

“Your mother loves to …..” I continued.

Then my son chimed in: “Bake cookies!”

I looked at him, put the phone down and ran across the room to give him a big, fat kiss.

And then I wondered if permanent marker was a bit much to add a footnote to my cherished memento.

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Not much to report on the parenting front this week. The wife and kids are out of town. The boys, ages 7 months and 2, are with grandma in Connecticut while my wife travels for business. They left Thursday and return Friday.

So this is what it was like before the kids ruled the roost. Quiet. Things stay in the same place until I move them. In fact, the whole house stays still if I leave. I need to find things to do instead of thinking, “Remember when we went to the movies?” Or: “That would be fun if I had the energy for it.” When the kids are around, they are the activity. Tons of it. So much that I wait, longingly, for that glorious time of the day: naptime.

Breaks are good, and I’ve enjoyed mine. I’ve seen a movie – You Don’t Mess With The Zohan – and sat through a Marlins game – they lost. I’ve had a couple of realizations since they’ve been away, though, that apply here. First, I am struck by how much we, as parents, get done on an average day. It’s a daily whirlwind of tasks, games, meals and just plain silliness. On most days, I worry about what’s not getting done. It’s good to remember that the opposite is the case.

Second, as they saying goes, life is in the details. I miss my family for those little moments when you connect: the car ride, the funny game and the good meal. You experienced parents out there know this well. I’ve heard you tell me it many times. I’m just not sure I understood it until now.

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My almost three-old-year old daughter, Ana Isabel, caught a cold at Mommy and Me. And she brought it home, promptly sharing it with her little brother, Lucas Emilio, who is five weeks old.

Not exactly the kind of sharing we would like. Nonetheless, we never had to deal with a sick Ana at this age since she didn't have other little children brining home germs.

Lucas mostly sounds congested and he makes a lot of noises when he sleeps. Before this came on, he was sleeping in three and four hour stretches, which was great for a kid his age. Not any more.

We have a suction bulb that we use to clear his nose. And we prop up his body so the mucus can drain when he sleeps. I know some say a humidifier can help loosen up the congestion.

But is there anything else that we can do to deal with a cold in baby at this age? I know drugs are out. A tired and sleep papa would welcome any suggestions.

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With 137,000 miles on my 2000 Toyota Sienna minivan, it's going to be time soon to get a new car.

I want to get a hybrid so I can use less gas and feel less pain as it climbs past $4. But as far as I can tell, there are no hybrid minivans out there.

Toyota may be releasing a hybrid minivan next year, but according to Hybridcenter.org, a project of the Union of Concerned Scientists, they may not, even though they have some in Japan. I was intrigued to read Toyota received 18,000 signatures on a petition asking the company to bring a hybrid minivan to the U.S.

So if I can't get a hybrid minivan, what is the biggest car I can get with the best mileage to shlep the kids around town?

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I thought I knew it all regarding teaching my kids about who is allowed to touch them and how they should report it. But I have to admit I learned a lot while covering a presentation last week to kids by the Diocese of Palm Beach.

Kit Johansen, who directs the diocese's Office of Serving Children, offered several tips beyond the standard "tell an adult if someone touches you," including:

Don't make kids hug or kiss adults, even if they're relatives.

Have your child make lists of adults they feel comfortable with and adults who give them the creeps, and then have a conversation about these people.

Be familiar with the adults who hang out in community gathering places, such as parks, playgrounds, ball fields, swimming pools. These grown-ups could be casing out us parents to see how much attention we're paying to our kids.

Tell the kids to blame us if they want to get out of an uncomfortable situation. "My mother doesn't want me to" is a fine excuse.

The diocese, and all the dioceses across the country, are doing these presentations to make people more aware of sex abuse. It's in response to the priest molestation scandals that made big news in 2002. Although the seminars may not get to the core of the problem, at least they're getting parents to think about the many opportunities there are for kids to encounter creepy adults.

For more information and tips, go to this Web site: http://virtusonline.org/virtus/preview_pgc.cfm

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Lucas Emilio was barely two days old and already someone was pulling at momma’s and papi's heartstrings to spend money. The photographer in the hospital wanted to take pictures, which, of course, she would sell to us.

My wife didn't have the heart or the energy to say no. She was recovering from giving birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. (7 pounds 6 ounces and 19.5 inches long). So about the 15th time the photographer came in and just as we were getting ready to leave the hospital, I said no thank you. The woman seemed shocked. She actually made a pouty face.

Not that we didn't want to record the moment. We have a standard digital camera. I have taken hundreds and hundreds of pictures already. Some of them actually turned out pretty good. We're using three of them for the birth announcement and we're using one of the online photo sights to print it up and send it out. That's saving us the hundreds of dollars we paid for our daughter's birth announcement when she was born almost three years ago.

I guess we are just a little bit smarter the second time around on baby spending.

Do you have any other money saving ideas for that second child?

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We are just back from a long weekend visiting family and friends in Washington, D.C, New York and Philadelphia. It ended with a visit to my grandmother, Margaret, who turned 97 on Mother’s Day. She opted recently not to have major surgery for an apparently cancerous growth on her neck. This has spared her the pain of surgery, but it also means her time remaining with us is limited. She told me Sunday during a family dinner that she just “hopes it’s not complicated.” Then she changed the subject to ask about Florida; she’s not one to dwell.

Rowan, at 6 months, is too young to register much from the visit. Alexander, who is 2, was aware of much more. As we drove to my grandmother’s assisted-living center Monday morning, Alexander said again and again, “say goodbye to grandma Margaret.” This kind of repetition isn’t unusual for him, but I wondered if he sensed something more. He later told her he loved her. Did he know this visit was different? That it could be, as my father said, the last such weekend with her?

I don’t know. Nor do I know how long my grandmother will be with us. Months, the doctors say. We hope longer. She understands her choice, and is at peace with it. It will be my job to explain that choice to Alexander, and later Rowan. Here’s the truth: I have no idea what to say.

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So there I was in Macy’s with the kids, 2 and 6 months. We were buying a Mother’s Day present in the wristwatch section. (Don’t worry, my wife is getting her present early this year, so I’m not spoiling anything.) The process took some time, and the boys were in their double stroller – fidgety but content.

Then Rowan decided he had had enough. He was tired, and couldn’t get himself to sleep. So he let out a spirited cry, and didn’t let up. I was determined to get this present, so I picked him up and tried to soothe him. It didn’t work.

Here’s the punchline: This woman next to me got very nervous, and starting asking “if I had any milk for him.” I smiled and said he had just eaten. When I said he was just worn out, she looked at me and said, “Where’s mom?” Then she darted her head around as though she would recognize my wife. I was fine, and Rowan would be soon, but apparently this woman needed my wife to be there.

For the dads out there: This sound familiar? People assume that you’re with the kids because “mom’s away” or “you’re doing something special.” It’s often said in a kindly fashion, particularly when it's older women, but the underlying suggestion annoys me. Besides, it sets the bar ridiculously low for dads: Just spend a couple of hours with your kid and you’re a rock star!

Epilogue: Rowan went to sleep, and we got our present. When we returned after a walk, the same woman looked at me and said, “How’d you do it?”

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By Freida Frisaro

When her oldest daughter started kindergarten, my friend Lisa Holewa couldn’t believe how the teacher quickly took charge and settled the children into a routine of learning and following directions. After just six weeks in school, the 5-and 6-year-olds followed the teacher’s instructions, gliding from activity to activity and having fun in a learning environment.

Lisa, a mother of three who lives in Wisconsin, wanted to know how teacher Joan Rice was so easily able to guide the students through the day. A journalist for 15 years – including time spent as the Tampa correspondent for the Associated Press where I met her – Lisa started asking questions.

She ended up with a book, What Kindergarten Teachers Know: Practical and Playful Ways for Parents to Help Children Listen, Learn and Cooperate at Home, by Lisa Holewa and Joan Rice. The book, with a forward by author Jacquelyn Mitchard, is a Perigee Book and goes on sale May 6.

As she developed the idea for the book, Lisa spent afternoons with the teacher on a mission to finding out how parents could use the same techniques at home.

One of the best secrets she learned in Ms. Rice’s classroom was the “Not Done” pouch, where children could put work that wasn’t finished when it was time to move on to another task. Instead of whining that they weren’t done, the students knew they would have time to come back and finish the work. Most of the ideas were simple and involved a willingness to try different things and make sure the children were having fun.

She liked the way the teacher kept the children on task. In the afternoon, Ms. Rice would tell the children: “Go to your lockers. Put on your coats. Get your backpacks.” Then, holding up three fingers, the teacher would reinforce: “Locker,” touching the first finger, “Coat,” touching the second, and “Backpack,” holding the third.

In addition to Ms. Rice, Lisa interviewed a range of elementary and early childhood teachers. The book is filled with tips and ideas from teachers across the nation, explaining in simple terms the tricks they use with children and why they work.

The chapters range from helping your child listen and learn to organizing your home and your daily schedules.

The 197-page book is a quick read, filled with great tips. I only wish Lisa had written the book before my son Jacob hit middle school!

The book costs $13.95 and can be pre-ordered at Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble.

Freida Frisaro is an editor for the Sun-Sentinel's Community News sections.

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Everything in our lives right now revolves around the pending birth of Lucas Emilio. He's scheduled to arrive via C-section next week.

My wife, Carrie Ann, is at that point where she can't get comfortable in any position. I worry about having all the last minute errands done.

My daughter, Ana Isabel, well she seems to be the least worried. Of course, she'll be three in August. So her focus is playing with mommy or papi or a best friend she makes that day. Still, Ana knows she's going to become a big sister next week.

My biggest worry is how will Ana handle her mommy being in the hospital for a few days. My mother-in-law is flying in to help. And I'll be off of work. So hopefully, we'll keep her busy. But still, the hospital can be a traumatic place for adults. And it's the first time Ana and momma won't be sleeping under the same roof overnight.

So what do you suggest for keeping a nearly three-year-old child from being traumatized by a hospital experience?

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Just in time for Mother’s Day, a Bal Harbour plastic surgeon is releasing a new children’s book: “My Beautiful Mommy.”

The illustrated book helps walk little kids through understanding why Mommy wants that tummy tuck, breast augmentation or nose job.

“But you’re already the prettiest Mommy in the whole wide world!” reads an excerpt from the book by Dr. Michael Salzhauer posted on Newsweek's Web site.

No matter. Mommy doesn’t feel that way.

I’m doing my best not to pass judgment. (I’ll leave that to all of you transPARENT readers and those of the parenting bloggers at our sister newspaper, Orlando Sentinel.) Not my job.

Let me just say I’m happy I have a son. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a young girl to deal with a Mom who is struggling with body image issues.

Believe me, I have my share of those. But my son is more interested in cars and robots than whether Mommy is upset that she still can’t get into her pre-pregnancy jeans. I have often thought about how mindful I would have to be about making seemingly innocuous comments (“Do I look fat in this outfit? I look pregnant!”) if I had a daughter.

For all you mothers of daughters out there: How have you handled the issue of body image? Any inadvertent missteps?

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Last week I asked whether parents were to blame in the beating of a teenage girl at the hands of six teens.

There was a healthy discussion about individual responsibility, parents' roles in raising children, the amount of violence in society and media.

I want to thank everyone who spoke out about what went wrong in the case, and who may be to blame.

Now I think we should commit ourselves to improving the lives of one un-related child.

I intend to help nurture a friend's teenage son. He's well-behaved and a good student, but as we saw in the Lakeland case, being "good" isn't always enough.

I challenge you to share your time and sensibilities with a child -- be it formally (through groups like the Boys & Girls Clubs) or informally (taking a neighbor's child under your wing).

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I will never understand polygamy, but I can't help but sympathize with the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints mothers whose children were taken away from them last week in Texas.

The state believes there was a "systematic process at the ranch of sexually exploiting and abusing children," so obviously there was good reason for the government to go in and figure out what was going on.

Still, to throw 416 children into our society when they have been isolated on a polygamous ranch their whole lives has got to be a devastating culture shock. And to be separated from their mothers, however complicit they were in the abuse, has to compound the trauma.

Kids are resilient and I'm sure these kids will recover. But there must have been a more gentle way to handle this, although I'm not sure what it is.

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We're in the final countdown for my son, Lucas Emilio, to arrive. We're all very excited, including my daughter, Ana Isabel.

My wife and I are scrambling. I'm finishing up house projects to get everything ready. My wife is pulling out all the baby stuff. And family members have booked their flights since Carrie Ann has a C-section scheduled.

That brings me to Ana. We have been telling her for months about Lucas' arrival. She's two and a half years old and seems to get it that there will be a new addition to the family.

Still, I don't want her to feel left out. I'm planning on doing more daughter and papi things with her. And we've put aside a few presents for her as well from our generous family, friends and colleagues.

Any other suggestions for keeping the jealous-sibling syndrome at bay? Or should we just be prepared to face it?

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It has become a college sport to ask Chelsea Clinton, when she is campaigning for her mother at college campuses, about her father's affair with Monica Lewinsky.

She has been asked three times in the past two weeks. Each time, she gives a different but non-committal answer.

"I think that is something that is personal to my family. I'm sure there are things that are personal to your family that you don't think are anyone else's business, either," she said during a visit to North Carolina State University in Raleigh last week. "But also on a larger point, I don't think you should vote for or against my mother because of my father."

I kind of liked that answer. It was better than the "none of your business" answer she gave the first time at Butler University in Indianapolis.

How do you think Chelsea should answer these questions? Do you think they're out-of-line?

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The video clip is hard to watch. A teen girl being punched, slammed into a wall, taunted to fight back.

The Lakeland, Fla., beating happened March 30, and was released to the media on Tuesday.

The six girls, ages 14 - 17, have been arrested and may face charges as an adult.

According to news reports, the victim was lured to the home for the beating, to be aired on YouTube, after allegedly posting an offensive remark on a MySpace page.

This horrific beating begs the question: Who's to blame?

Should the parents of these alleged bullies be held accountable? Was the victim in the wrong? Is the media to blame?

Let's start talking about how we can prevent our kids from being the victim or bully . . .

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The new governor of New York, David Paterson, announced yesterday he had had several affairs. This comes right after it was discovered that the old governor, Eliot Spitzer, had hired prostitutes.

It seems like every day another male politician is caught in an out-of-marriage relationship. And for some reason, it is bothering me in the extreme.

I guess it's because I am seeing lots of marriages among my peers fall apart as we enter our 40s. People I know are having affairs, separating and getting divorced. Some of the tales are lurid, and others are simple: The couple just grew apart.

But I wonder if having an affair is becoming standard when couples are having problems. As Paterson put it: "We have a marriage like many Americans, maybe even many of you."

How about you? Have you had an affair? Did you go back to your marriage?

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If you have a brother or sister then you know how important it is to give a better cut-down than you receive.

My kids are 12 and 5. Recently I found out about a couple of doozies.

Lily came home this week telling us that her friend made her "pinky promise' not to tell anyone a big secret. The secret was that "Mrs. Hazell (at school) used to be named Mrs. Hazellbutt.''

Thus Creed told her she believes everything; she's gullible.

"I don't believe everything,'' she told me on our way to school. "I don't believe what Creed tells me, like when he says, "Mom doesn't love you. She wants you to run away to another family and live there.' "

Ahhh, those fun sibling fights. I grew up as one of four girls, so I know all about this subject.

She also asked me last week, "Mommy, am I normal?'' Yes, I told her. "Oh,'' she responded, " 'cuz Creed said I"m not.''

Lily is a very sensitive person, and doesn't go on the attack much. Plus she's only in kindergarten. So I was pretty impressed when I heard what she came up with in a recent squabble while Creed was babysitting her.

"God hates you!'' she screamed at Creed. Creed was appalled, and told me about it later.

She had a basis for this -- she said he was being mean to her, and that God "hates' mean people. Well her theology might be a little askew but I had to give her points for the large scope and depth of this cut-down.

I'm not inclined to stomp on their freedom of expression, as long as it doesn't include profanity or any slandering of their mother. People need to be able to defend themselves in this world, and don't you think that sibling rivalries are fertile training ground?

I don't allow physical abuse. But I think being verbally pummelled by a brother or sister, and learning how to shrug that off, can only prepare you for life in America.

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Check out this video to see highlights.

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I can't wait to hear what you guys think of this invention by a woman in Cooper City, that I've
just been emailed about.

Apparently this mom, Alexandra, was mortified when her little girl caught Rotavirus from a public toilet seat, she says, and so she had her daughter peeing into a urine specimen bottle from the pediatrician. But that bottle wasn't big enough, after awhile. So this mom created the PeePee Bottle. You buy these bottles for 10 bucks that look like water bottles, but in fact they are for your child to urinate in!

I still can't get over the fact that these look just like drinking bottles, in pink and blue. I don't know if my daughter could use one of these without making a mess, but according to the maker of the PeePee Bottle, these are quite convenient and hygienic and can be carried in your purse!

Um, I guess it might come in handy on a long car trip, as long as your kid only needs to go "Number 1.''

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By Cindy Kent

Here's a follow-up to my post earlier this month about discussing wills with your loved ones.

Since I brought up the topic before Valentine's Day, reactions have ranged from "Oh, that's nice," to "You guys are really smart to do that," to "Gee, how morbid." Of my three children, one said we didn't need to do wills -- but he really meant he'd rather not think about it.

Tom, the 12 year old, was trying to work out the implications and logistics in his head when he blurted, "How long would I have to wait to get your car?" He wasn't being selfish or greedy -- he was trying to figure it out.

"Hopefully, you'll have your own life and family and car by then," I smiled. He thought about it for a moment and then corrected himself.

"Wait," he said apologetically, " I mean, forget what I said."

"It's something we are sure we will not have to deal with for years and years," I explained. "And besides," I smiled, "By then, I'll have a Mercedes. That's the car you'll want!"

We laughed. Tom was relieved. Keeping the discussion to facts and adding a sense of humor has helped to keep the topic approachable.

Though we went to a lawyer to draw up our wills, there are a few Web sites that are helpful in beginning the discussion. Here are two: The Florida Bar, and Caring Connections, which provides forms that conform to state laws.

How have you dealt with the issue?

Cindy Kent is a reporter assistant at the Sun-Sentinel and a Fort Lauderdale mother of three children ages 12 to 28.

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It was a bad Monday morning. It started when my older daughter blatantly and repeatedly refused to do something I had ordered her to do: Wear her contact lenses to school.

Of course this went nowhere. Everyone knows that ordering a teen to do something she does not want to do is a very good way to ensure that it won’t be done.

It makes no sense to me why the girl will not wear her contact lenses, which she must have in order to play water polo. She has astigmatism, so the lenses take some getting used to. It’s not like your typical nearsightedness that can be corrected in an instant. No. When you have astigmatism, your eyes need time to adjust to the glasses or contacts. Then you see 20-20.

Besides, she looks great in her contacts. She has beautiful eyes, with think dark eyebrows like Brooke Shields. But my daughter is not a primper. It took six months to convince her to keep her hair brushed.

I’m her mama. I want my girl to look beautiful when she goes to school. So I nag. And sometimes I just lose it. What 16-year-old girl does not want to look pretty going to school, for heaven's sake?

Also, on a practical mothering note, I want her eyes to adjust to the lenses so that she can see while she’s treading water, fighting defenders and having a ball thrown toward her head. Call me crazy.

I certainly felt crazy this morning as I was lecturing at my daughter all the way to school over something as trivial as wearing contacts.

I really hate it when I’m like that. Usually our drive to school is much more fun. We listen to music together and talk about friends. Or we discuss something we read recently, or maybe the work she has to do for her classes. I like that 20 minutes most days.

Today I made her cry. When she said, “Mom, will you just let me finish my sentence?” I said, “NO!” And then, regretting, “yes.” She said she will wear the lenses three days a week. OK, I said, but it needs to be three days in a row.

It’s a start. Maybe if I can get her for three days, she’ll make it four. We'll see. We have to get one day first.

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There comes a time in parenting when you realize that when you go somewhere on a trip, it's not all about you, it's about the kids, and that if they have a good time, the trip is a success.

But I haven't reached that point yet, so I'm still hacked about my camping trip this weekend.

One of my colleagues, Ralph De La Cruz, wrote today about how hard it was to find a camping spot this weekend. But apparently he did not check out Peanut Island in Palm Beach County.
Or maybe he went on Saturday, the more popular day.

We went camping Sunday. After our recent campout in the middle of Florida at the awesome Kissimmee Prairie Preserve State Park, I was so revved up about camping I bought a new tent. I searched the calendar and promised myself that every three-day weekend, when the kids are out of school for whatever reason, we would go camping.

But now I know that not every campout is a soul-enriching experience. Why did I think that going to a beach packed with other South Floridians and surrounded by civilization on all sides would feel like a get-away?

Still, I have to recommend this place. Lots of people go there just for the day, to picnic. You take a water taxi over there from the Riviera Beach Marina. For camping, you can book it a few months ahead of time. The campsites are soft sand, with picnic tables, and grills. The bathrooms have hot water and showers.

Any time you can yank your kids away from the TV, it's good.

But I had a few setbacks that kind of fouled the mood. Never pack a bottle of whiskey in a bag of your youngest child's clothing, for one thing.

And if you take the family dog along, and the family dog is stronger than your youngest child, do not give the dog's leash to the youngest child to hold.

Also, it rained.

Apparently if you want to know if it's going to rain in a particular area on a particular day, just find out, "Is Brittany going camping there?''

I just have to keep telling myself that the kids had fun, and that's the important thing.

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By Laura Kelly
Sun-Sentinel Staff Writer

My daughter is a very active, boisterous and friendly first grader. And, it turns out, one of her male classmates is also very active, boisterous -- and very aggressive.

The last two days, Hayley came home from her extended-day program bruised and a little bloody. On Tuesday, when my mon picked her up, she had a bruise-y cut on her cheek. She said this certain boy had thrown the metal top of a toy container at her. She was holding an ice pack against it so I know an adult got involved at some point. My mom thought the cut was severe enough to warrant my placing a call to the boy's mother but I felt uncomfortable with that. I don't even know -- is that how parents deal with this these days?

On Wednesday, I picked Hayley up at extended day. Her left forearm was bloody and all scraped. She says the same boy dragged her when she wouldn't relinquish a jumprope he wanted. She said after he got the jumprope from her he left her there on the ground and returned to his friends. She laid there for awhile but no adults came to assist her. She says the boys were playing a game called "fling the jumprope at people."

I don't want to paint my daughter as a victim. I honestly think she was trying to play with the boys in her class. And she's not scared of this kid or feeling bullied or anything -- I questioned her specifically on that. She describes him as "the meanest kid in first grade" but I think she mostly likes playing with him when he's not injuring her.

Kids are going to play rough now and then. But her coming home bloody two days in a row from an aggressive act from the same boy has me nervous. I sent an email to Hayley's teacher and the manager of the school's extended-day program.

I feel like this should be brought up somewhere, somehow -- I am sure the boy's a good kid all around, but it seems he needs to be reminded that he can't physically injure his classmates for any reason. Hey, parents. Has anybody been here? What's the consensus on how to handle this?

Laura Kelly is a mother of two, ages 7 and 3. She lives in Martin County.

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