A British survey found that more than 8 percent of parents regret the name they gave their child.

I can’t say I’m surprised. There are many among us who thought we had a one of a kind names picked out for our daughter or son only to learn the first day of school that there were three or four others in the same class!

Or worst yet, some celebrity with the same name as your precious little one surface, leaving big shoes to fill.

A mom recently posted in a Jamaican newspaper that she regretted naming her child Beyonce because it elicits raised eyebrows and smirks.

The survey on name regret was done by yourbabydomainname.com.

According to the survey, girls names to avoid include: Apple, Chardonnay, Peaches and Madonna. Boys names included: Beckam, Axl, Kai, Kester, Jordan and Joaquin.

My daughter and her cousins wrote out their Christmas wish lists a few days ago. I couldn’t wait to look at it. I figured it would give me some clues about which aisles to hit first in the toy section.

But to my surprise my seven-year-old’s wish list had everything on it except toys. I had to chuckle as I scrolled down her sheet of paper. Her wish list looked more like mine, and I’ve only shared mine with the friends in my head.

High up on her list—a refrigerator with an ice machine. I had to ask why? Our refrigerator is a decent size and our ice trays seem to do just fine. At least, I thought so.

But I’ve come to learn after spending time at her cousin’s house and getting used to simply pushing her glass against a lever and getting ice, my daughter think it’s time for an upgrade.

Also on the list is a car with a television. I guess my NPR on the car radio in the mornings is simply not cutting it. She’d like to watch TV and preferably have cable in the car, since our house is a no cable zone.

She’d also like Santa to bring her a driver’s license. What use is a car with a TV if you can’t drive it anywhere?

I must say looking at her list was a wake-up call. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’m allowing her to get too wrapped up into a materialistic world. But a big part of me knows my daughter likes to play house and pretend and some of these things are what a mom, even a make-believe-mom, would want.

If she wonders why none of those things are under the tree on Christmas day, I have my lines ready. Santa can’t fit a fridge and a car in his sleigh!!!!!

I went to visit a friend recently. Her baby is about six months and needless to say I was shocked to find that she already had stacks of his clothes set aside to be donated.

Some of it was newborn stuff he outgrew. Some of it was clothes friends and relatives had bought, which she said doesn’t match his style. I didn’t know six-month-old babies had a style, but that’s another story.

All in all I had to commend her for her diligence. She’s a true minimalist and she had no problems parting with his little onesies and booties and all of his little baby clothes that just scream CUTE.

She said she had enough pictures with him in his outfits to keep the memories alive. And if and when she goes down the mommy path again, she’s prepared to start afresh with a whole new wardrobe for that baby.

I’m all for donating clothes so that other children who really need them could make use of them. But I’m also super sentimental when it comes to my daughter’s stuff. I look at a pair of tap shoes that no longer fit and so many memories run through my mind.

I still like to hold on to some of the clothes she wore at three months. They remind me of just how much she’s grown.

Don't get me wrong, I’ve given away a great deal, but I’ve held on to a great deal, also.

I take comfort in knowing that i'm not extreme. I have a friend who has a walk-in closet crammed with her daughter’s baby clothes and her daughter is 12. And an aunt with a garage full of baby clothes that her four daughters once wore.

I can understand. I know everyone has their own comfort level. But I left my minimalist friend’s house feeling somewhat inspired to get rid of more. Rather than invest in more plastic containers to store adorable clothes she'll never wear again, I’ve invested in another memory card for my camera.

Middle schoolers who can't tie their shoelaces, teens who don't know how to get ice out of an ice tray. Children who don't know the first thing about using a can opener.

I came across this article which studies the plight of this generation and I just had to share it.

This article resonates with so many of us because as parents we have to ask ourselves if we're slacking off at teaching our kids the basics.

Our parents didn't do everything for us, so why are so many of us babying our sons and daughters to the point of no return. Do, share your thoughts.

Here's the link to the article:http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-us-fea-parenting-nincompoops,0,1762020.story

Parents, you know the feeling.

There are those mornings when you’re driving your child to school and get stuck behind a huge truck or someone out for a leisurely drive at 8:30. They’re holding up traffic and in the back of your mind you can only think, why me? Of all the routes in the world, why did you have to take mine?

Well, I know we have school zones and all. But I was thinking wouldn’t it be nice to have a parent zone, that covers about a half mile around your child’s school, where only school employees, bus drivers, parents, caregivers and their children can travel between certain times of the day.

In Europe I noticed there were all these congestion zones, where everyday traffic wasn’t allowed during rush hour.

Well I imagine something like that here. But a little different. Zones where if you’re caught driving without a child or proof you have some connection to a school during morning and afternoon rush hour, you get a hefty ticket or your car towed.

I know there are a lot of kinks to work out. Some people may resort to putting large dolls in their cars so they can get in the zone. But if this concept brings some peace and sanity to the parents trying to navigate rush hour traffic in the mornings on their way to their child's school, it’s worth a try.

I’m pro-breastfeeding like many others. But at some point we have to be careful about the measures we take to get this precious supplement to our babies.

A colleague, who is super busy and spends a lot of time on the road, shared with me that when she returned from maternity leave she would sometimes pump her breast in the car during heavy traffic.

How she managed to do this is still beyond me. While as busy moms we find ourselves multi-tasking like crazy, this can be dangerous. My advice to her was to at least pull over the next time around.

Anyways, hearing her story made me think about all the weird places I had to stop and pump during my day. I still remember trying to discreetly pump in a dark conference room once. That didn’t work out too well. Needless to say, I wasn’t inspired.

You would think in this day and age there would be more designated breast pumping stations, so we wouldn’t have to hideout to take care of something so basic.

I won’t be strolling through the aisles this year looking for composition notebooks. I have no plans to track down the perfect set of safety scissors and plastic folders.

My daughter’s PTA is handling it for me.

The PTA announced a few months ago that it would handle the feat of buying school supplies for elementary students, for an extra few bucks, as a fundraiser. Needless to say I signed up immediately.

All they basically needed to know was my child’s name, age and grade.

I think it’s a great idea. While it takes some coordinating more PTAs should try it. They charged between $35 and $40 depending on the grade. But the cost included everything on your child’s list and a school shirt.

I know there’s going to be some extra supplies needed when we get her teacher’s list but I’m OK with that. We still have uniforms, bookbag and the new lunch box to get. And I will report back on if things were as smooth as planned.

For now, the way I see it, it’s a win-win. I don’t walk out of Target with a whole bunch of stuff we don’t need but always seem to pickup when we go back-to school shopping and my daughter’s school will have a few extra bucks.

When I signed my daughter up for summer camp last year, I was given a note that basically said it’s your child’s responsibility to apply sunscreen during the day.

At the time my daughter had just turned 6. I knew no matter how much I tried to drill the concept into her, there was no way she would remember to reapply her sunscreen. On really hot days when campers would go to the pool, my daughter would come home looking like a lobster.

Recently my friend’s daughter, who’s the same age as my daughter, got so badly sunburned on an outing during summer camp that her burns became blisters and she had to be taken to her doctor.

While I know it might be too time consuming for camp counselors to apply sun block to all of their campers— and some places forbid it because they don’t want to be liable for touching little girls and boys— there has to be a better way to keep our kids from getting badly burned.

When campers are going to water parks and other outdoor outings, it should be mandatory that counselors remind kids to apply their sunscreen and supervise them as they do it. If they notice a child is developing a burn, they should see to it the child is taken to a shaded area or indoors.

During these sizzling summer days, not doing more to prevent sunburn among these campers is like standing back and watching a child touch the stove without giving them a warning that it’s on.

I’ve learned that you have to tread carefully when bringing up certain issues to parents. Most parents don’t want to hear that their disciplining skills need work. Few want to know that their child is spoiled.

And a child’s weight is often seen as a taboo subject you just don’t touch.

But what do you do when you're friends with a parent whose child is extremely overweight, and yet they’re constantly feeding them unhealthy fast food?

On one hand, by sitting back and saying absolutely nothing aren’t you silently watching a parent put their child at risk?

We know the rate of obesity among children has been on the steady rise since the 70s. Obese children are much more likely to display risk factors for heart disease, high cholesterol, diabetes and blood pressure.

Yet, still, this is still a subject parents try avoid among each other.

Rather than preaching to a parent, I think you have to open up a dialogue with a few questions and hear them out. Maybe they’re searching for some help but don’t know where to turn.

Why not start healthy-eating potlucks and invite that parent over? Make sure play dates involve something physical where kids are getting exercise. And skip the fast-food drive thru -- we can all benefit from that.

Rather than telling a parent the obvious, we can show them alternatives that may just help.

It’s not fair, my friend belted out to me the other day.

She’s upset. Her son and his live-in-girlfriend just welcomed their first child. It’s my friend’s first grandchild and she was under the impression that she would get endless time with her granddaughter.

But lately she’s feeling left out big time. She said while the maternal grandmother, who is also local, gets to stop in and see the baby whenever she wants, she doesn’t have that access.

She’s not alone. A lot of grandmothers who are related on dad’s side don’t get the same privileged access mom’s mom get.

In this case, my friend’s son is at work during the days. And the girlfriend is often unavailable when she tries to call to see if she can come by. Most of her visits are therefore limited to the weekend.

She tried to just drop in without calling once and the response was chilly.

She tried to bring up this issue of needing more time with the baby with her son and his girlfriend, but it hasn’t helped much. She feels like a stalker, she says, texting and calling to get some face time with the baby. She'd like to see the baby practically everyday, if she could.

I told her not to worry. She's also mom to three young women. None of them have children yet, but she’s close to all three and I can guarantee if and when they have kids, she will have a lot more access to those kids.

I think it’s natural for women to feel more comfortable around their mom, (if they have a close relationship) especially in the beginning when they're new to parenting.

While new moms should try to be fair, I think grandparents have to learn not to take it personal. New moms may gravitate to their own parents more in the beginning, but at some point they’ll reach out for more help.

I happened to be watching an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey recently.

On the show, one of the ritzy moms tried to get her teenage daughter to go visit with a life coach. She thought it would help her indecisive teen make up her mind about what she wants to do with herself.

Her daughter struck down the idea, and needless to say mom was all disappointed.

The whole storyline made me wonder though, just how soon is too soon to see a life coach?

I struggle with this one. I can’t help but wonder sometimes what my life would have been like had I sat down with a decent life coach and hammered out a life plan at 18.

And I don’t have a teenager, so this is not a dilemma I’m facing at the moment. My daughter is only seven and her goal in life, changes day to day. The last time I checked she wanted to be a veterinarian, a makeup artist and a cheerleader. And my advice to her was to do all three. (How's that for coaching?)

But on a more serious note I can't help but wonder if we are asking too much of teenagers these days. If you’re mid-30s and you can’t figure out what you’d like to do with yourself, I’d say you need some coaching. If you’re a teenager and you can’t figure out precisely what your career goal is, I’d say, for the most part, you’re a teenager.

I know the role of a coach is to give others the tools they need to reach their ultimate potential. And in many ways a coach can motivate a child on levels sometimes a parent just can’t get to.

But rather than trying to get our children on one narrow path, shouldn't we encourage them to explore as much as they can in college or by working in the real world and then let them use some of that experience to carve out their niche.

How much can these "life coaches" teach these young men and women about life, when these teens have barely lived any life?

We come across their stories on talk shows all the time.
Men who thought they were the biological father of a child only to learn years later that they were duped.
But with technology these days, men and expecting moms are confirming doubts even before the child is born.
Prenatal Paternity tests are becoming more common, it seems. These services are widely advertised online.
An OB-GYN can get a DNA sample from the unborn child either by amniocentesis or some other tests.
That can be matched against the potential father’s DNA.
It's a sticky issue. Expecting moms should know that there are risks associated with an amnio. Getting a sample from a potential father can be difficult in some cases.
But for some men and women getting this kind of crucial information confirmed early can save a lot of people further heartache years later.

I’m feeling it for a friend of mine. She just had a baby girl. Her little bundle of joy is only a few days old.

My girlfriend is an organic buff who practically lives at Whole Foods. She bought only organic clothes for the baby. She was the first one to introduce me to organic baby oil for moms.

Nowadays though, her dilemma is that while she planned to breastfeed all along, her breasts aren’t producing enough milk and the doctor has recommended that she supplement with formula.

She’s not alone. A lot of women realize after their child is born that breastfeeding can be difficult. Not every new mom is able to fill bottles upon bottles with breast milk in the beginning. It takes time for babies to latch on. And pumping can seem like torture.

Making it worst, some family members stress new moms out even more by pressuring them to give the baby more and more formula rather than encouraging breastfeeding.

I recommended my friend meet with her lactation specialist to get some more tips.
I begged her not to stress out, since stress can only hinder the ability to breastfeed even more.
And I warned her that it’s going to take some patience.

She started researching organic baby formula. But we both know it doesn’t get more organic than breastfeeding.

My daughter came across one of her old baby diapers the other day and immediately started to laugh.

In her mind she couldn’t imagine that she was actually that small. Which is weird since almost every night, when I tuck her in, it’s hard for me to grapple with the fact that she’s grown so big.

My daughter was an extreme preemie. She came into this world, almost three months before her due date, weighing only one pound, 13 ounces.

The first time my mother saw her, she turned to me and said, “She looks like a little bird.’’
It was true. Her skin was fuzzy; her bones were small and fragile.

Because of her prematurity, I didn’t get to hold her for the first time until she was five-days-old.

With all the wires attached to her in the incubator and other preemie factors, she didn’t wear clothes for the first time until she was about three-weeks old.

She was fed by tubes the first two months. It wasn’t until she was almost three months that she drank from a bottle.

Time really flies.

She recently turned 7. She’s one of the tallest girls in her first grade class. She’s a ball energy, a smart cookie (if I say so myself) and she loves to dance. Believe me, Justin Bieber is in fast rotation at my house.

Nowadays I look at her doing cartwheels and I can’t help but think of the long nights in the neonatal intensive care unit at Plantation General Hospital, where I prayed for her to breathe on her own, to make it through another night, to gain another ounce. Those prayers were answered in abundance.

By now most of us have gotten wind of the Tennessee woman who put her 7-year-old adopted son on a plane by himself and sent him back to Russia, on grounds that he was mentally unstable.

Her actions has set off some serious debate within adoption communities here and abroad and has Russia looking to temporarily halt adoptions by U.S. citizens until certain policies are changed, according to a recent Reuters article.

Can you blame them?

When I first heard this story reported I thought in my heart that it couldn’t be true. How could a mother take a child that they promised to love and care for and put them on a plane with a note and send them back to Russia?

Since then, I’ve heard some parents say that the incident highlights the need for more services for parents who adopt internationally.

On a radio show recently, some parents said they were deceived by agencies in the past and were not made aware of the full extent of their adopted child’s illness, in some cases.

They spoke out against this woman's behavior, still some said it raises a serious issue that needs attention.

While I think more resources for parents can only help, I still can’t fathom how one parent could be so cold and return a child in this manner. People need to understand that when you enter this journey called parenthood you don’t decide all the variables and you can expect some serious challenges.

No child is perfect. Every parent is tested at times--- some more than others. But what if we were to all head to an aiport or a bus station and leave our child for someone else to deal with?

These are human beings we’re dealing with. Some say the incident has given the U.S. a black eye. I’d say for most parents, it has left us with a broken heart.

I have a thing for shopping for baby clothes. There's something about those tiny dresses that make me want to buy the whole rack. Time seems to fly when I'm running around in a store looking for stuff to bring to a baby shower.

A friend of mine, who is expecting, recently posted her registry, and I couldn't help but notice that she wanted mostly organic baby clothes. I know organic cotton is the thing these days, but her organic picks were quite costly compared to non organic clothing. An organic bib for $16, some organic onesies for $25 each, and some baby yoga sets for 50 bucks.

While I'm all for giving a baby a healthy start, I can't help but wonder if these organic baby clothes are just another way to pump more money out of new-age moms.

I can see spending a lot of money on organic baby food, but does Baby Sam really need to have an organic bib to spit up on?

And once you start your baby out on organic clothing do you run the risk of having to keep them in organic gear throughout their childhood? I gave in and got my friend one of her organic picks, a yellow onesie with some matching socks.

It was hard to resist, organic or non-organic, baby clothes are just so cute.

Let’s face it with the economy the way it is right now landing a good job is not easy. Many, who run their own businesses, have seen traffic slow down. Finding a lead on a job opening can be tough.

But should parents see the moms and dads at their child’s school as prospective clients or leads, or should they limit their contact to school related matters only.

I can see how this can be touchy. For one, you don’t want to rub a parent the wrong way and make them feel like you only sparked conversation with them to share your unemployment woes.

But what’s so wrong with throwing out to another parent that you’re job hunting or looking for a sale of some sort?

Every day deals are made on the golf course. Should we add the kindergarten recital to that list?

I’ll be the first to admit that I had some reservations about the concept at first. But in a free parenting class I took recently, they suggested that parents should have their children help with setting the rules of the house.

I took it a step further and had my daughter makeup up each and every rule.

We started with bedtime. To my surprise my six-year-old daughter wanted to move her bedtime up to make it a half hour earlier. She thought of more rules than I could have imagined and suggested some pretty stiff consequences if certain rules were broken.

Her rules ranged from “no shouting,’’ to “no interrupting while singing Justine Bieber songs.’’

Her consequences included, “no candy for a week,’’ if she breaks one of her rules and “pushing mommy into the pool after she’s had her hair done,’’ should I break one of mine.

It actually turned out to be a fun little exercise and afterwards we posted the pink paper with the rules and consequences on a bulletin board near our computer.

So far it's making bedtime easier. When my daughter gets out of line I walk her over to the rules, written in her own handwriting, to give her a gentle reminder of the consequences.

I can see now why teachers often make students class monitors. My daughter has become a stern enforcer of her own rules, and I'm enjoying it.

With internet dating the thing these days, I couldn’t help but notice a strange pattern. So many single moms and dads post pictures of their kids under their profile. Go to match.com and you can’t help but wonder why there are so many toddlers on there.

It’s a bizarre trend if you ask me. While I know some single parents may want their prospective internet mates to know it’s a package deal, why is it necessary to have your child’s picture right beside yours?

Your child isn’t looking for someone to kill time with, you are. Plus, in some cases when there are about a dozen pics of the child and only one or two of the mom or dad, I can’t help but wonder if they're using these adorable kids as bait.

I think parents should exercise more caution online in this day and age. If you really can’t wait to show off that cute little girl or boy to your prospective partner, wait until the first or second date and bring a couple of photos.

Right about now, “Sexy in Miami” is looking for love-- there’s no reason to bring little “Soggy in diapers,’’ along for the ride.

My six-year old has had her eyes on a Nintendo DSi for a couple of months now. I’ve put off buying her one in part because of the cost, but also because I’m worried that she’ll lose it.

It’s one thing to come home and forget your lunchbox or your folder, which is still something we’re working on in my house. But I don’t know if I’m ready to hear that the $169 Nintendo DSi has vanished.

Some people say let your child use it only when you’re around. I have to be honest, with the million things I have to track day to day, I really don’t want to add tracking the Nintendo DSi to my list.

My best friend, who happens to be my daughter’s godmother, said I should give in and buy it. It will be a good test of how responsible she’s become, she says. I sure hope that’s the case.

I’m still tempted to take out some DSi insurance!!!!

Recently Baby Einstein announced that it is extending refunds to some parents who purchased the company’s DVDs.

According to reports a group had threatened Disney, Baby Einstein’s parent company with a class-action lawsuit over what the group called, implied claims that the videos are educational.

On Baby Einstein’s website it states that the company makes no such claim. It also states that they’ve always had a refund policy in place.

I’m no Einstein, but I can’t fathom how any parent would think sitting their baby in front of a television for any extended period of time would make them a genius.

Yes, children can learn from television. But if any one program or CD could create an Einstein it would be flying off the shelves.

What’s sad to me is that some parents are so determined to have “the smartest,’’ baby that they spend time and money on products they think will get them on the fast track rather than fully enjoying their child’s development.

I have friends who used to listen to all sorts of music but now play nothing but classical at home because they want their baby's mind to be stimulated.

Some have latched on to companies promising to have children reading at two. Others have their toddlers in so many enrichment classes you would think they were a full time student.

Oh Please. There’s nothing wrong with introducing your child to educational tools, but let a child be a child. Let a baby be a baby.
After all, in some way or the other, we all have a Little Einstein.

Remember when true body odor didn’t hit until you were a teenager? It seem like those days are gone.

The other day my aunt came over and discreetly asked me if I had introduced my daughter to deodorant.

At six? Isn’t that too early? I thought.

But after raising this sensitive topic to some of my friends with young children, I learned that many of them have scoured the Internet looking for some form of child-friendly deodorant for their five and six-years-olds.

Some said they wanted to ask other parents about how they dealt with this prickly issue, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

I know enough to know that there have been reports of health risks linked to using deodorant too early. Some experts say don’t do it, and to instead have your child bathe more often, wear loose fitting clothes and use some form of talc powder.

Some of my "organic only" parents said they have their children using deodorants from the health food stores that tend to have fewer chemicals. But is that harmless?

While no one wants their child to stand out because of their odor, we need to start taking a look at why our young children are developing so fast. Something is not right about having to introduce a first grader to deodorant.

What’s next, deodorant for toddlers?

I know celebrities in general get a lot of attention. But I’ve noticed these days when a celebrity mom declares she’s a single mom she’s elevated to another level of stardom.

Kate Gosselin from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" seem to be on every single-mom blog these days. There are blogs out there strictly dedicated to the celebrity single mom and their trials and tribulations.

I’m sorry, but while I know being a single mom is not easy for anyone, I don’t see why celebrity single moms should be given any special accolades. Most of these celebrities have a team of support staff helping them raise their kids.

They don’t have to worry at 5:30 when they’re asked to work late who will pick up their child from aftercare at school. They don’t have to stress about whether there’s enough in their budget to keep their children at a good daycare.

When I think of inspirational single moms, I think of a young mom I met recently, who works the early morning shift at my local supermarket. She has to get her nine-year-old son and her two-year-old daughter up everyday by 5 a.m. and shuttle one to preschool and the other to her sister's house before traveling almost an hour to work.

I think of all my single moms, who despite the work/life challenges manage to put in a full day at work, volunteer at their child’s school when they can and make a decent dinner at night, with no dad or partner to help.

I think of my single moms doing it day in and day out, without a t.v. crew or gang of paparazzi capturing their every step.

While I’m happy that celeb single moms are helping to shed the stigma sometimes associated with being a single mom, I’m not looking their way for inspiration.

I took my daughter to the Caribbean Carnival in Miami yesterday.

I knew from the beginning that this would be different for her. In her mind carnival is a place where you go on rides, eat cotton candy and play games.

But this was a Caribbean Carnival, a parade with thousands of masqueraders, steel pan music and Caribbean food.

There were no roller coasters, no candy apples, no cheese fries.

It was a totally new experience for my six-year-old. At times she watched the masqueraders in their huge sequined costumes with pure amazement. She wanted to know about the stilt walkers and how they kept their balance so long. She tried to catch the rhythm of the soca music.

As the sun was going down we shared some jerk chicken and festival, a traditional Jamaican dish.

And I thought about when I was her age and my dad would take me to the West Indian Day parade in Brooklyn. There are pictures of him and I in a sea of strangers. It didn’t matter that we didn’t know many of the people we posed with in pictures. They shared his immigrant experience, and he wanted me to feel like I was a part of that too.

I’m thankful that he exposed me to that side of his culture. As parents, if we don’t expose our kids to their culture who will?

When my daughter and I left the parade yesterday we were hot and tired. I thought maybe I overloaded her with a little too much in one day.

Then I heard her talking to her little cousin last night about all that she saw, and I realized when it comes to culture, there’s no such thing as over-exposure.

I was talking to a mom with twin girls this weekend and the conversation about school came up. My daughter and her fraternal twin daughters are both first graders.

I immediately wanted to know if they were in the same class.

I’m realizing there is a lot of debate around this issue. The mom I spoke to on Saturday said she wanted to keep her girls together in the same class but that arrangement was not allowed at the school they attend locally.

Her girls don’t look that much alike. They each have their own identities and sibling rivarly is not a big issue at her house. From a practical standpoint, she thought having them in the same class would cut down on homework time since they would both have the same work and could guide each other through it.

But she wasn't given that choice. I can't help but wonder how many other parents are in the same boat.

It seems there is no definitive answer about whether splitting twins up at school is a good thing.

The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club publishes the book “Placement of Multiple Birth Children in School,’’ which highlight some factors to consider.

Some parents and experts say it really depends on the twins. While some twins look forward to being apart at school, there are others who are not ready for this kind of separation, which can prompt anxiety, experts warned.

My feeling is that there should not be a blanket policy for all twins. In the end, parents should get the final say on this one.

As single moms, sometimes you can’t help but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

There are times after a hard day at work when you’re exhausted and can’t help but think about what it would be like to have a partner to work on homework with your son or daughter while you cook dinner.

But imagine what life is like when you have a partner and you still have to imagine what it would be like to have help with your child.

On the blog singlemommyhood.com a number of moms were recently expressing how frustrating it is when they have to assume all the parental duties and their husbands don’t pitch in to help.

Some women said their husbands were workaholics who never made enough time for the kids. Others said it wasn’t until their marriages ended that their spouses stepped up to the parental plate.

The blog prompted me to think of some of my friends who are in similar situations. Moms and dads with to-do lists longer than there are hours in the day, because the other parent isn’t pitching in.

The worst part is that married single parents don't get the same support true single parents get because most people assume their spouse is helping with the kids.

I wonder how many parents are dealing with this? I think if both parents are in good health mentally and physically, a married parent shouldn’t have to feel like they’re raising their kids on their own.

While some moms clamor to get a coveted chaperone spot on their child’s field trip, it appears that in many cases dad is Missing In Action.

I learned recently that schools are trying to do more to encourage fathers to become chaperones. In some cases teachers are reserving one spot on a trip specifically for a dad and some teachers plan to do some serious recruiting.

One teacher I spoke to over the weekend said it really helps to have at least one dad on a trip with the younger children, since the kids often need to take bathroom breaks and the boys have to be accompanied by an adult.

But beyond that, going on a field trip with your child is such a rewarding experience. For one, most young children feel like they’ve hit the jackpot when they see their mom or dad on that yellow bus with the rest of the class.

And having gone a few trips myself, you walk away with an added appreciation for what these teachers do day in and day out.

With so many working moms and working dads, moms shouldn’t have to be the only ones cashing in their vacation days at work to head on a class trip. Dads, step up to the plate.

What do you do when your daughter’s new college roommate is John?

According to an Associated Press article I came across recently, there are about two dozen colleges and universities in this country that allow young men and women to share a room on campus.

Dubbed the mixed-gender housing movement, students have a choice to room with the opposite sex. Officials at most of these colleges reportedly say romantic relationships among these roommates are discouraged. And some say having a choice is just another example of how they are tearing down walls.

But as if dealing with a new roommate, a total stranger, isn’t hard enough, I can’t imagine wanting to make the situation even more complex by having to live with a roomie in college who is of the opposite gender.

Back in my day (which was not that long ago) we couldn't dare think of sharing a bedroom on campus with the opposite sex. Back then having a co-ed dorm seemed like a big deal. And although we had coed dorms, men and women were separated by floors.

While I have no qualms with adults rooming with whatever sex they choose, I have some doubts about these arrangements on a college level, especially among young college students.

While some say they’re just roomies, get over it, the parent and former college student in me, has second thoughts.

Filling out school forms for your child is never easy, but for parents who have remarried it comes with an added burden—figuring out where to squeeze in information about a stepmom or stepdad.

I was filling out some required enrollment forms for my daughter last week when I noticed that while there were two or three lines allotted for information about the child’s mother and father there was no space specifically allotted for step-parents.

There was space further down on the forms for “Emergency contacts,” which is where I suspect some folks list a step-parent.

But in this day and age with so many blended families I’m surprised public school forms in general haven’t been modified to reflect our changing demographics. I know some forms ask about custody arrangements, but few ask for any specific information about step-parents.

While some may argue that it’s a private matter that doesn’t deserve ink on a school form and that in some cases it could get too complicated, I think it would help schools to know all of the primary caregivers in a child’s life, beyond mom and dad.

In a lot of households it’s stepmom or stepdad who is picking up a child consistently from school or the first point of contact should the child get sick.

Don’t they deserve to be recognized?

My daughter starts first grade today. She shared with me a few things she plans to do differently now that she’s a BIG girl.

Her thoughts led me to thinking that mommy could make some changes also. So here’s my back to school pledge.

• I pledge not to hold up the car line at my daughter’s school. I will not brush my daughter’s hair, search for her socks or sign permission slips while other anxious parents waiting to drop off their kids are behind me.

• I pledge to read every piece of paper that comes home and not wait until the night before her school project is due to comb the stores looking for glitter.

• I pledge to be a more stringent enforcer of bed time, so that we can both wake up more cheerful in the morning.

• I pledge not to become an over-involved mom, who wants to hold her daughter’s hand every step of the way, but to let her grow and learn by experience with some things. (notice I said “some.’’)

• I pledge not to over schedule my daughter’s after-school life with too many extra-curricular activities and to cherish the down time when we’re doing absolutely nothing.

Have you pledged to do things differently this school year? After all, the great thing about the first day of the school is that it's a new beginning for parents too!!!!

If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a controversial doll that allows children to breastfeed.

Released by Spanish toymaker Berjuan, the doll “bebe Gloton,’’ which means gluttonous baby, comes with a pink and green halter that kids can strap to their chests.

The halter has flowers in the place of nipples and when the child presses the doll’s mouth against the fake nipple, the doll makes a sucking sound.

I came across this doll in an article in the New York Daily News. There is video demonstrationg how to use the doll.
Debates about this doll are lighting up the parenting blogosphere.

A lot of parents have been on the attack, saying the doll will promote teenage pregnancy and is too mature for little kids.

My immediate reaction to this doll was: how creepy. But now I can’t help but wonder if parents are taking their criticism of the doll too far.

For one thing, it seems kind of hypocritical to me that in a society that promotes breastfeeding as the best option for babies, we slam a doll that actually gives kids some sense of how it’s done.

Children like to pretend. Having a doll, no matter what method you use to feed it, is already introducing kids to the grown-up concept of becoming a parent.

And there is a lot of fascination around the whole concept of breastfeeding. So what’s the big deal?

Those who co-parent know the challenges. When your child spends one week with you and one week with your ex, it’s often hard to keep track of everything-- the homework, the school uniforms, the ballet shoes.

I hear these days more families are trying a concept called “nesting.’’ When you nest, it’s mom or dad who leaves the house and the kids stay put.

Some ex-partners get along so well that mom goes over to dad’s place for the week and vice versa. These are parents who don't live with partners, of course.

My daughter's dad lives out of town so it's geographically impossible for us to try this.

But I'd like to hear more about co-parenting arrangements that work. I came across the nesting concept in the book Shared Parenting: Raising Your Children Cooperatively After Separation.

I can see how it would benefit the kids. They don't have to be uprooted from their friends on a weekend and can keep better track of their things. But are most parents willing to make the sacrifice?

Yes, I had a good laugh when pictures of President Obama donning “mommy jeans” hit the airwaves not too long ago.

The president wore the infamous jeans when he threw the first pitch at an All-Star baseball game about a week ago. The media labeled them the “mommy jeans.’’

It’s not every day you see your president at a baseball game in pleated jeans that seem a little too short and a little too feminine!

But I realized the reason I laughed so hard was because I could recognize a pair of mommy jeans instantly.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve become a huge fan of mommy denim, as I like to call it. These are jeans I would not have been caught dead in before I had my daughter.

They’re super faded. Some of mine are high waters, barely reaching my ankles. And they have a way of flattening out everything. They are the kind of jeans that can make Jennifer Lopez look curve-less.

But I’m a mommy jeans advocate because they’re roomy and comfortable.

When I’m running late for my daughter’s dance class I can slide into my mommy jeans, no problem. When I’m heading to a long ballgame, I opt for my mommy jeans.

Ketchup, sweet-and-sour sauce, ice-cream, bring it on. My mommy jeans can handle it.

Every now and then when I want to shake things up, I wear my mommy jeans to a party or a club. While all the women in their skinny jeans and high heels are on the sidelines trying to look cute, I’m on the dance floor getting down in my mommy jeans.

We’re moms, after all. While some people sit back and listen to the music, we’re busy dancing to the music.

Thank you mommy jeans for allowing us to dance more comfortably.

Divorce parties seem to be the thing these days.

Parting partners are ordering fancy ‘’just divorced’’ cakes, hosting divorce spa parties and in some cases going as far as to have their divorce soirees catered at a banquet hall.

While I can fully understand how these parties can be cathartic, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a bad thing for the children of the divorcee to attend.

On one hand, it might be good for older kids to see that their parent can celebrate their split. Parties are associated with happy times, right?

On the other hand, if a child is hurt by their parents’ divorce, is it pouring salt on their wound to have a whole bunch of friends over and pop open the champagne?

It’s tough out there for job hunters. It’s getting even harder for those looking for nanny work.

I’ve noticed more and more job postings are requiring nannies to have a college degree. Some nanny agencies won’t look at you unless you have a Bachelor’s degree under your belt.

Just yesterday I came across a mom looking for a nanny for her fraternal twins. Under her list of skills--“college degree preferred.’’

I think these parents and agencies are totally off base.

While earning a college degree is a major accomplishment it doesn’t mean you know squat about parenting or caring for kids.

As a working single mom, I relied heavily on nannies and babysitters when my daughter was much younger.

The nanny my daughter loved the most was a high school dropout with three grown kids. She cared for my daughter for two straight years until it was time for her to start pre-school.

She was loving, playful and creative. But she was also stern, disciplined, and organized. She knew my daughter so well she called my attention to things her pediatrician missed.

When I panicked about certain behavior, she was able to tell me from her own parenting experience, not to worry, it was a phase. And she was flexible, which was a big plus in my line of work.

I’m grateful for having found her. She’s no longer our nanny, she’s a family friend. To my daughter she will always be “Tia."

Had I narrowed my nanny pool to college graduates, we would have never met and our family would have missed out.

Although I love social networking sites and give them much credit for reuniting me with some 200 friends of the past, I don’t have any pictures of my daughter on Facebook.

Call it the paranoid mommy in me, but I worry about the security on some of these sites. I don't want my six-year-old's picture posted on some random page that I can't control.

I know it's common to share photos via Facebook and other sites these days. But I think it's good social networking practice to get clearance from a parent before you post another child's photo.

This way everyone is on the same page. What side of the fence are you on when it comes to uploading children’s pictures on Facebook?

I was in the car with my daughter when I got the news about Michael Jackson.

For me it was personal. Not only did we lose the “King of Pop,” I lost my very first pop icon.

I had the “I Love Michael” buttons. Every inch of my wall was filled with Michael Jackson posters. When my parents bought me my first record player (yes, record player), they threw in the “Super Freak” single by Rick James and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album.

I still love Michael to this day. Despite his tarnished image in the media, I put on “Man in the Mirror” and I feel inspired. And a party just isn’t a party without one or two Michael Jackson jams to close it out.

At least back then I was allowed to just love Michael without having to think about all his personal dilemmas. Too bad our kids aren’t allowed the same luxury.

My daughter already knows Chris Brown did something bad to Rihanna, as she put it. She knows Lindsey Lohan’s battles. And I’ve had to set the record straight on some of the Hannah Montana rumors.

It’s sad that with all the gossip on television and the Internet it’s almost impossible for our kids to embrace an artist for their music and their talent and leave it at that.

Your child doesn’t listen to you. You make excuses for your child’s behavior. You do your child’s chores. You feel like a nag.

You repeatedly threaten, warn and count to three. You explai,n on and on, everything you ask of your child. Much of the time, parenting feels like driving an out-of-control race car.

According to psychologist and author Richard Bromfield, author of “How to unspoil your child fast,’’ these are just some of the signs that you are a parent who spoils your child.

Bromfield has an extended list of symptoms. I’m only mentioning a few.
For a working single parent, it can be a struggle at times to stay on your children about the rules. There are times when I feel like a true nag.

"Get out of the pool!"

"Pick up your crayons!"

"Brush your teeth!"

And it goes on. It can wear you down if you’re not strong.

But Bromfield offers some suggestions to unspoiling and goes into quite a bit of detail.
Grab your child’s attention, stand firm on your rules and follow through, he suggests.

After all, he asks, who made the child the head of the household? Some parents are giving in to their children way too much.

According to Bromfield, and I quote, “You’re an educated adult who’s had sex, backed into a tree and lost money on lottery tickets. She hasn’t even finished kindergarten. What does she know?’’

I thought we had it all worked out.

My daughter started summer daycamp this week and seemed to like it. She went swimming, raved about an animal show she saw with her fellow campers, and even came home with some colorful artwork.

But today she started her boycott. The very first thing she said to me this morning was that she didn’t want to go back to camp. She couldn’t pin down what she didn’t like, she just kept saying she didn’t want to be there.

Of course we went back today. I talked to the counselors about how she felt, they listened, and after some serious sobbing, she waved goodbye. We didn’t have this issue when she started kindergarten last year.

Now I’m wondering if I may have set the expectations for camp too high. For weeks I’ve been talking to her about summer camp and all that she had to look forward to.

My friends say it’s just a matter of her making friends. But if you have any suggestions on how to make this transition a little easier send them my way.

There is a debate stirring among some of my single mom friends about who should pick up the tab for baby-sitting.

While no one expects a first date to pitch in for someone to watch your child, when you’ve been dating someone consistently for a few months, I think the cost of baby-sitting should come up in conversation at some point.

Often, parents don’t want to expose their children to the person they’re dating until the relationship is serious, which makes sense. But what happens when baby-sitting fees start to cut into your budget?

A friend of mine recently shelled out $200 to a baby sitter who watched her daughter while she was out with someone she’s been seeing regularly. That’s two week’s worth of groceries in my house.

For those with family and good friends to lean on, this isn’t an issue. But for single parents who have to pay a baby sitter, dating can get pretty expensive.

I have a confession. Before I became a mom, I actually enjoyed spending time alone.

A new J. California Cooper book and a comfortable pillow were all I needed to get me through a Sunday afternoon.

That kind of time is rare these days. Most of the weekend is spent doing kids’ stuff. But I’ve found a few inexpensive ways to get “me time” and reconnect with the loner in me.

Visit to Ikea. The Swedish furniture store has free baby-sitting for shoppers. There’s one in Davie. You don’t have to buy anything, and my daughter looks forward to going to their play area. They limit you to about 45 minutes, which can fly by, but it’s nice to have uninterrupted time to look at fabrics and scope out designing ideas.

The gym. My gym charges an extra $5 a month for its kids’ club and it is money well-spent. You get to work out alone, with no distractions while your kids play with others.

The park. Instead of cuddling up on my battered green couch like I used to, I take my magazines and books to the park and read while she plays.

Do you know of any other low-budget ways to get time alone? Do share.....

A few weekends ago my 6-year-old met her dad’s girlfriend, for the first time.

When she returned home she had a string of questions. She wanted to know when daddy and I would get back together, why he had a girlfriend, and why wasn’t I mad?

I explained to her that daddy and I love her very much and told her that we should be happy that daddy found someone he cares for. I’m also in a committed relationship, and I told her I wanted daddy to find that same joy.

I’m fortunate that my daughter has a really great dad. We both co-parent, with very little drama.
But I realized that in addition to knowing my feelings, she needed reaffirmation that her space in her dad’s life wasn’t being threatened.

I grew up in a two parent household, with my mom and dad. I didn’t have to wrestle with these questions at six. These days, in a world where a lot of single parents have a relationship status that’s “complicated,’’ how do you break it down to kids in simple terms?

If you co-parent you know the phone is like a lifeline.

My daughter’s dad lives out of state and he calls her almost every evening to chat. There are some evenings when she runs to the phone and there are those other nights, when she is simply not up for talking.

I know it’s not easy having your child treat you like a bill collector. But I think some parents go about getting their child to open up on the phone all wrong. Some tips I picked up while observing others:

1. Believe it or not, some children don’t want to talk about themselves all the time. They want to know what happened in your day. Share with them something funny that happened on the job, or a joke you heard.
2. Keep the conversation short sometimes. It shouldn’t seem like a chore for your child. Try to gauge if your child is losing interest.
3. I often ask my six year old two questions that get her on a roll. What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? Yes, more often than not, more time is spent on the worst part, but I’m guessing that’s human nature.
4. Try to stick to a scheduled time when you’re expected to call, every night. Some of my friends complain that they can’t get to speak to their kids when they call their child’s mother or father, but they call at all random hours. Custodial parents often have hectic schedules.
5. Come up with a funny sign off.
If you have some tips to keeping a conversation going, do share....

Is your best friend a single mom? Mother’s Day is a great time to let a hardworking single mom know you appreciate her, and you don’t have to run to the mall to do it.

My top 7 gifts for a single mother:

1. A weekend of baby-sitting. Single moms often have very little “Me” time. You can get creative and make your own baby-sitting coupon and stick it in a card.

2. Offer to take some pictures of your friend with her little one, and create a photo collage. I have so many pictures of my daughter, but so few of us together. It’s nice to have someone capture some of those everyday moments.

3. A manicure and pedicure gift certificate. (But again, offer to baby-sit so she doesn’t have to drag the kids to the salon)

4. Get a calendar and fill it with free summer activities for kids happening in the area. Every time that mom is short of ideas she can reach for the calendar.

5. A CD or downloads of inspirational songs that celebrate motherhood. (I like Fantasia’s “Baby Mama”)

6. Offer to help her organize. Homework, bills, junk mail. She might appreciate having someone she trusts help her purge.

7. Cook a few family size meals and zap them in her freezer.