Recently Baby Einstein announced that it is extending refunds to some parents who purchased the company’s DVDs.

According to reports a group had threatened Disney, Baby Einstein’s parent company with a class-action lawsuit over what the group called, implied claims that the videos are educational.

On Baby Einstein’s website it states that the company makes no such claim. It also states that they’ve always had a refund policy in place.

I’m no Einstein, but I can’t fathom how any parent would think sitting their baby in front of a television for any extended period of time would make them a genius.

Yes, children can learn from television. But if any one program or CD could create an Einstein it would be flying off the shelves.

What’s sad to me is that some parents are so determined to have “the smartest,’’ baby that they spend time and money on products they think will get them on the fast track rather than fully enjoying their child’s development.

I have friends who used to listen to all sorts of music but now play nothing but classical at home because they want their baby's mind to be stimulated.

Some have latched on to companies promising to have children reading at two. Others have their toddlers in so many enrichment classes you would think they were a full time student.

Oh Please. There’s nothing wrong with introducing your child to educational tools, but let a child be a child. Let a baby be a baby.
After all, in some way or the other, we all have a Little Einstein.

> Please comment

Remember when true body odor didn’t hit until you were a teenager? It seem like those days are gone.

The other day my aunt came over and discreetly asked me if I had introduced my daughter to deodorant.

At six? Isn’t that too early? I thought.

But after raising this sensitive topic to some of my friends with young children, I learned that many of them have scoured the Internet looking for some form of child-friendly deodorant for their five and six-years-olds.

Some said they wanted to ask other parents about how they dealt with this prickly issue, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

I know enough to know that there have been reports of health risks linked to using deodorant too early. Some experts say don’t do it, and to instead have your child bathe more often, wear loose fitting clothes and use some form of talc powder.

Some of my "organic only" parents said they have their children using deodorants from the health food stores that tend to have fewer chemicals. But is that harmless?

While no one wants their child to stand out because of their odor, we need to start taking a look at why our young children are developing so fast. Something is not right about having to introduce a first grader to deodorant.

What’s next, deodorant for toddlers?

> Please comment

I know celebrities in general get a lot of attention. But I’ve noticed these days when a celebrity mom declares she’s a single mom she’s elevated to another level of stardom.

Kate Gosselin from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" seem to be on every single-mom blog these days. There are blogs out there strictly dedicated to the celebrity single mom and their trials and tribulations.

I’m sorry, but while I know being a single mom is not easy for anyone, I don’t see why celebrity single moms should be given any special accolades. Most of these celebrities have a team of support staff helping them raise their kids.

They don’t have to worry at 5:30 when they’re asked to work late who will pick up their child from aftercare at school. They don’t have to stress about whether there’s enough in their budget to keep their children at a good daycare.

When I think of inspirational single moms, I think of a young mom I met recently, who works the early morning shift at my local supermarket. She has to get her nine-year-old son and her two-year-old daughter up everyday by 5 a.m. and shuttle one to preschool and the other to her sister's house before traveling almost an hour to work.

I think of all my single moms, who despite the work/life challenges manage to put in a full day at work, volunteer at their child’s school when they can and make a decent dinner at night, with no dad or partner to help.

I think of my single moms doing it day in and day out, without a t.v. crew or gang of paparazzi capturing their every step.

While I’m happy that celeb single moms are helping to shed the stigma sometimes associated with being a single mom, I’m not looking their way for inspiration.

> Please comment

I took my daughter to the Caribbean Carnival in Miami yesterday.

I knew from the beginning that this would be different for her. In her mind carnival is a place where you go on rides, eat cotton candy and play games.

But this was a Caribbean Carnival, a parade with thousands of masqueraders, steel pan music and Caribbean food.

There were no roller coasters, no candy apples, no cheese fries.

It was a totally new experience for my six-year-old. At times she watched the masqueraders in their huge sequined costumes with pure amazement. She wanted to know about the stilt walkers and how they kept their balance so long. She tried to catch the rhythm of the soca music.

As the sun was going down we shared some jerk chicken and festival, a traditional Jamaican dish.

And I thought about when I was her age and my dad would take me to the West Indian Day parade in Brooklyn. There are pictures of him and I in a sea of strangers. It didn’t matter that we didn’t know many of the people we posed with in pictures. They shared his immigrant experience, and he wanted me to feel like I was a part of that too.

I’m thankful that he exposed me to that side of his culture. As parents, if we don’t expose our kids to their culture who will?

When my daughter and I left the parade yesterday we were hot and tired. I thought maybe I overloaded her with a little too much in one day.

Then I heard her talking to her little cousin last night about all that she saw, and I realized when it comes to culture, there’s no such thing as over-exposure.

> Please comment

I was talking to a mom with twin girls this weekend and the conversation about school came up. My daughter and her fraternal twin daughters are both first graders.

I immediately wanted to know if they were in the same class.

I’m realizing there is a lot of debate around this issue. The mom I spoke to on Saturday said she wanted to keep her girls together in the same class but that arrangement was not allowed at the school they attend locally.

Her girls don’t look that much alike. They each have their own identities and sibling rivarly is not a big issue at her house. From a practical standpoint, she thought having them in the same class would cut down on homework time since they would both have the same work and could guide each other through it.

But she wasn't given that choice. I can't help but wonder how many other parents are in the same boat.

It seems there is no definitive answer about whether splitting twins up at school is a good thing.

The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club publishes the book “Placement of Multiple Birth Children in School,’’ which highlight some factors to consider.

Some parents and experts say it really depends on the twins. While some twins look forward to being apart at school, there are others who are not ready for this kind of separation, which can prompt anxiety, experts warned.

My feeling is that there should not be a blanket policy for all twins. In the end, parents should get the final say on this one.

> Please comment

As single moms, sometimes you can’t help but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

There are times after a hard day at work when you’re exhausted and can’t help but think about what it would be like to have a partner to work on homework with your son or daughter while you cook dinner.

But imagine what life is like when you have a partner and you still have to imagine what it would be like to have help with your child.

On the blog singlemommyhood.com a number of moms were recently expressing how frustrating it is when they have to assume all the parental duties and their husbands don’t pitch in to help.

Some women said their husbands were workaholics who never made enough time for the kids. Others said it wasn’t until their marriages ended that their spouses stepped up to the parental plate.

The blog prompted me to think of some of my friends who are in similar situations. Moms and dads with to-do lists longer than there are hours in the day, because the other parent isn’t pitching in.

The worst part is that married single parents don't get the same support true single parents get because most people assume their spouse is helping with the kids.

I wonder how many parents are dealing with this? I think if both parents are in good health mentally and physically, a married parent shouldn’t have to feel like they’re raising their kids on their own.

> Please comment

While some moms clamor to get a coveted chaperone spot on their child’s field trip, it appears that in many cases dad is Missing In Action.

I learned recently that schools are trying to do more to encourage fathers to become chaperones. In some cases teachers are reserving one spot on a trip specifically for a dad and some teachers plan to do some serious recruiting.

One teacher I spoke to over the weekend said it really helps to have at least one dad on a trip with the younger children, since the kids often need to take bathroom breaks and the boys have to be accompanied by an adult.

But beyond that, going on a field trip with your child is such a rewarding experience. For one, most young children feel like they’ve hit the jackpot when they see their mom or dad on that yellow bus with the rest of the class.

And having gone a few trips myself, you walk away with an added appreciation for what these teachers do day in and day out.

With so many working moms and working dads, moms shouldn’t have to be the only ones cashing in their vacation days at work to head on a class trip. Dads, step up to the plate.

> Please comment

What do you do when your daughter’s new college roommate is John?

According to an Associated Press article I came across recently, there are about two dozen colleges and universities in this country that allow young men and women to share a room on campus.

Dubbed the mixed-gender housing movement, students have a choice to room with the opposite sex. Officials at most of these colleges reportedly say romantic relationships among these roommates are discouraged. And some say having a choice is just another example of how they are tearing down walls.

But as if dealing with a new roommate, a total stranger, isn’t hard enough, I can’t imagine wanting to make the situation even more complex by having to live with a roomie in college who is of the opposite gender.

Back in my day (which was not that long ago) we couldn't dare think of sharing a bedroom on campus with the opposite sex. Back then having a co-ed dorm seemed like a big deal. And although we had coed dorms, men and women were separated by floors.

While I have no qualms with adults rooming with whatever sex they choose, I have some doubts about these arrangements on a college level, especially among young college students.

While some say they’re just roomies, get over it, the parent and former college student in me, has second thoughts.

> Please comment

Filling out school forms for your child is never easy, but for parents who have remarried it comes with an added burden—figuring out where to squeeze in information about a stepmom or stepdad.

I was filling out some required enrollment forms for my daughter last week when I noticed that while there were two or three lines allotted for information about the child’s mother and father there was no space specifically allotted for step-parents.

There was space further down on the forms for “Emergency contacts,” which is where I suspect some folks list a step-parent.

But in this day and age with so many blended families I’m surprised public school forms in general haven’t been modified to reflect our changing demographics. I know some forms ask about custody arrangements, but few ask for any specific information about step-parents.

While some may argue that it’s a private matter that doesn’t deserve ink on a school form and that in some cases it could get too complicated, I think it would help schools to know all of the primary caregivers in a child’s life, beyond mom and dad.

In a lot of households it’s stepmom or stepdad who is picking up a child consistently from school or the first point of contact should the child get sick.

Don’t they deserve to be recognized?

> Please comment

My daughter starts first grade today. She shared with me a few things she plans to do differently now that she’s a BIG girl.

Her thoughts led me to thinking that mommy could make some changes also. So here’s my back to school pledge.

• I pledge not to hold up the car line at my daughter’s school. I will not brush my daughter’s hair, search for her socks or sign permission slips while other anxious parents waiting to drop off their kids are behind me.

• I pledge to read every piece of paper that comes home and not wait until the night before her school project is due to comb the stores looking for glitter.

• I pledge to be a more stringent enforcer of bed time, so that we can both wake up more cheerful in the morning.

• I pledge not to become an over-involved mom, who wants to hold her daughter’s hand every step of the way, but to let her grow and learn by experience with some things. (notice I said “some.’’)

• I pledge not to over schedule my daughter’s after-school life with too many extra-curricular activities and to cherish the down time when we’re doing absolutely nothing.

Have you pledged to do things differently this school year? After all, the great thing about the first day of the school is that it's a new beginning for parents too!!!!

> Please comment

If you haven’t seen it yet, there’s a controversial doll that allows children to breastfeed.

Released by Spanish toymaker Berjuan, the doll “bebe Gloton,’’ which means gluttonous baby, comes with a pink and green halter that kids can strap to their chests.

The halter has flowers in the place of nipples and when the child presses the doll’s mouth against the fake nipple, the doll makes a sucking sound.

I came across this doll in an article in the New York Daily News. There is video demonstrationg how to use the doll.
Debates about this doll are lighting up the parenting blogosphere.

A lot of parents have been on the attack, saying the doll will promote teenage pregnancy and is too mature for little kids.

My immediate reaction to this doll was: how creepy. But now I can’t help but wonder if parents are taking their criticism of the doll too far.

For one thing, it seems kind of hypocritical to me that in a society that promotes breastfeeding as the best option for babies, we slam a doll that actually gives kids some sense of how it’s done.

Children like to pretend. Having a doll, no matter what method you use to feed it, is already introducing kids to the grown-up concept of becoming a parent.

And there is a lot of fascination around the whole concept of breastfeeding. So what’s the big deal?

> Please comment

Those who co-parent know the challenges. When your child spends one week with you and one week with your ex, it’s often hard to keep track of everything-- the homework, the school uniforms, the ballet shoes.

I hear these days more families are trying a concept called “nesting.’’ When you nest, it’s mom or dad who leaves the house and the kids stay put.

Some ex-partners get along so well that mom goes over to dad’s place for the week and vice versa. These are parents who don't live with partners, of course.

My daughter's dad lives out of town so it's geographically impossible for us to try this.

But I'd like to hear more about co-parenting arrangements that work. I came across the nesting concept in the book Shared Parenting: Raising Your Children Cooperatively After Separation.

I can see how it would benefit the kids. They don't have to be uprooted from their friends on a weekend and can keep better track of their things. But are most parents willing to make the sacrifice?

> Please comment

Yes, I had a good laugh when pictures of President Obama donning “mommy jeans” hit the airwaves not too long ago.

The president wore the infamous jeans when he threw the first pitch at an All-Star baseball game about a week ago. The media labeled them the “mommy jeans.’’

It’s not every day you see your president at a baseball game in pleated jeans that seem a little too short and a little too feminine!

But I realized the reason I laughed so hard was because I could recognize a pair of mommy jeans instantly.

I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve become a huge fan of mommy denim, as I like to call it. These are jeans I would not have been caught dead in before I had my daughter.

They’re super faded. Some of mine are high waters, barely reaching my ankles. And they have a way of flattening out everything. They are the kind of jeans that can make Jennifer Lopez look curve-less.

But I’m a mommy jeans advocate because they’re roomy and comfortable.

When I’m running late for my daughter’s dance class I can slide into my mommy jeans, no problem. When I’m heading to a long ballgame, I opt for my mommy jeans.

Ketchup, sweet-and-sour sauce, ice-cream, bring it on. My mommy jeans can handle it.

Every now and then when I want to shake things up, I wear my mommy jeans to a party or a club. While all the women in their skinny jeans and high heels are on the sidelines trying to look cute, I’m on the dance floor getting down in my mommy jeans.

We’re moms, after all. While some people sit back and listen to the music, we’re busy dancing to the music.

Thank you mommy jeans for allowing us to dance more comfortably.

> Please comment

Divorce parties seem to be the thing these days.

Parting partners are ordering fancy ‘’just divorced’’ cakes, hosting divorce spa parties and in some cases going as far as to have their divorce soirees catered at a banquet hall.

While I can fully understand how these parties can be cathartic, I can’t help but wonder if it’s a bad thing for the children of the divorcee to attend.

On one hand, it might be good for older kids to see that their parent can celebrate their split. Parties are associated with happy times, right?

On the other hand, if a child is hurt by their parents’ divorce, is it pouring salt on their wound to have a whole bunch of friends over and pop open the champagne?

> Please comment

It’s tough out there for job hunters. It’s getting even harder for those looking for nanny work.

I’ve noticed more and more job postings are requiring nannies to have a college degree. Some nanny agencies won’t look at you unless you have a Bachelor’s degree under your belt.

Just yesterday I came across a mom looking for a nanny for her fraternal twins. Under her list of skills--“college degree preferred.’’

I think these parents and agencies are totally off base.

While earning a college degree is a major accomplishment it doesn’t mean you know squat about parenting or caring for kids.

As a working single mom, I relied heavily on nannies and babysitters when my daughter was much younger.

The nanny my daughter loved the most was a high school dropout with three grown kids. She cared for my daughter for two straight years until it was time for her to start pre-school.

She was loving, playful and creative. But she was also stern, disciplined, and organized. She knew my daughter so well she called my attention to things her pediatrician missed.

When I panicked about certain behavior, she was able to tell me from her own parenting experience, not to worry, it was a phase. And she was flexible, which was a big plus in my line of work.

I’m grateful for having found her. She’s no longer our nanny, she’s a family friend. To my daughter she will always be “Tia."

Had I narrowed my nanny pool to college graduates, we would have never met and our family would have missed out.

> Please comment

Although I love social networking sites and give them much credit for reuniting me with some 200 friends of the past, I don’t have any pictures of my daughter on Facebook.

Call it the paranoid mommy in me, but I worry about the security on some of these sites. I don't want my six-year-old's picture posted on some random page that I can't control.

I know it's common to share photos via Facebook and other sites these days. But I think it's good social networking practice to get clearance from a parent before you post another child's photo.

This way everyone is on the same page. What side of the fence are you on when it comes to uploading children’s pictures on Facebook?

> Please comment

I was in the car with my daughter when I got the news about Michael Jackson.

For me it was personal. Not only did we lose the “King of Pop,” I lost my very first pop icon.

I had the “I Love Michael” buttons. Every inch of my wall was filled with Michael Jackson posters. When my parents bought me my first record player (yes, record player), they threw in the “Super Freak” single by Rick James and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album.

I still love Michael to this day. Despite his tarnished image in the media, I put on “Man in the Mirror” and I feel inspired. And a party just isn’t a party without one or two Michael Jackson jams to close it out.

At least back then I was allowed to just love Michael without having to think about all his personal dilemmas. Too bad our kids aren’t allowed the same luxury.

My daughter already knows Chris Brown did something bad to Rihanna, as she put it. She knows Lindsey Lohan’s battles. And I’ve had to set the record straight on some of the Hannah Montana rumors.

It’s sad that with all the gossip on television and the Internet it’s almost impossible for our kids to embrace an artist for their music and their talent and leave it at that.

> Please comment

Your child doesn’t listen to you. You make excuses for your child’s behavior. You do your child’s chores. You feel like a nag.

You repeatedly threaten, warn and count to three. You explai,n on and on, everything you ask of your child. Much of the time, parenting feels like driving an out-of-control race car.

According to psychologist and author Richard Bromfield, author of “How to unspoil your child fast,’’ these are just some of the signs that you are a parent who spoils your child.

Bromfield has an extended list of symptoms. I’m only mentioning a few.
For a working single parent, it can be a struggle at times to stay on your children about the rules. There are times when I feel like a true nag.

"Get out of the pool!"

"Pick up your crayons!"

"Brush your teeth!"

And it goes on. It can wear you down if you’re not strong.

But Bromfield offers some suggestions to unspoiling and goes into quite a bit of detail.
Grab your child’s attention, stand firm on your rules and follow through, he suggests.

After all, he asks, who made the child the head of the household? Some parents are giving in to their children way too much.

According to Bromfield, and I quote, “You’re an educated adult who’s had sex, backed into a tree and lost money on lottery tickets. She hasn’t even finished kindergarten. What does she know?’’

> Please comment

I thought we had it all worked out.

My daughter started summer daycamp this week and seemed to like it. She went swimming, raved about an animal show she saw with her fellow campers, and even came home with some colorful artwork.

But today she started her boycott. The very first thing she said to me this morning was that she didn’t want to go back to camp. She couldn’t pin down what she didn’t like, she just kept saying she didn’t want to be there.

Of course we went back today. I talked to the counselors about how she felt, they listened, and after some serious sobbing, she waved goodbye. We didn’t have this issue when she started kindergarten last year.

Now I’m wondering if I may have set the expectations for camp too high. For weeks I’ve been talking to her about summer camp and all that she had to look forward to.

My friends say it’s just a matter of her making friends. But if you have any suggestions on how to make this transition a little easier send them my way.

> Please comment

There is a debate stirring among some of my single mom friends about who should pick up the tab for baby-sitting.

While no one expects a first date to pitch in for someone to watch your child, when you’ve been dating someone consistently for a few months, I think the cost of baby-sitting should come up in conversation at some point.

Often, parents don’t want to expose their children to the person they’re dating until the relationship is serious, which makes sense. But what happens when baby-sitting fees start to cut into your budget?

A friend of mine recently shelled out $200 to a baby sitter who watched her daughter while she was out with someone she’s been seeing regularly. That’s two week’s worth of groceries in my house.

For those with family and good friends to lean on, this isn’t an issue. But for single parents who have to pay a baby sitter, dating can get pretty expensive.

> Please comment

I have a confession. Before I became a mom, I actually enjoyed spending time alone.

A new J. California Cooper book and a comfortable pillow were all I needed to get me through a Sunday afternoon.

That kind of time is rare these days. Most of the weekend is spent doing kids’ stuff. But I’ve found a few inexpensive ways to get “me time” and reconnect with the loner in me.

Visit to Ikea. The Swedish furniture store has free baby-sitting for shoppers. There’s one in Davie. You don’t have to buy anything, and my daughter looks forward to going to their play area. They limit you to about 45 minutes, which can fly by, but it’s nice to have uninterrupted time to look at fabrics and scope out designing ideas.

The gym. My gym charges an extra $5 a month for its kids’ club and it is money well-spent. You get to work out alone, with no distractions while your kids play with others.

The park. Instead of cuddling up on my battered green couch like I used to, I take my magazines and books to the park and read while she plays.

Do you know of any other low-budget ways to get time alone? Do share.....

> Please comment

A few weekends ago my 6-year-old met her dad’s girlfriend, for the first time.

When she returned home she had a string of questions. She wanted to know when daddy and I would get back together, why he had a girlfriend, and why wasn’t I mad?

I explained to her that daddy and I love her very much and told her that we should be happy that daddy found someone he cares for. I’m also in a committed relationship, and I told her I wanted daddy to find that same joy.

I’m fortunate that my daughter has a really great dad. We both co-parent, with very little drama.
But I realized that in addition to knowing my feelings, she needed reaffirmation that her space in her dad’s life wasn’t being threatened.

I grew up in a two parent household, with my mom and dad. I didn’t have to wrestle with these questions at six. These days, in a world where a lot of single parents have a relationship status that’s “complicated,’’ how do you break it down to kids in simple terms?

> Please comment

If you co-parent you know the phone is like a lifeline.

My daughter’s dad lives out of state and he calls her almost every evening to chat. There are some evenings when she runs to the phone and there are those other nights, when she is simply not up for talking.

I know it’s not easy having your child treat you like a bill collector. But I think some parents go about getting their child to open up on the phone all wrong. Some tips I picked up while observing others:

1. Believe it or not, some children don’t want to talk about themselves all the time. They want to know what happened in your day. Share with them something funny that happened on the job, or a joke you heard.
2. Keep the conversation short sometimes. It shouldn’t seem like a chore for your child. Try to gauge if your child is losing interest.
3. I often ask my six year old two questions that get her on a roll. What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? Yes, more often than not, more time is spent on the worst part, but I’m guessing that’s human nature.
4. Try to stick to a scheduled time when you’re expected to call, every night. Some of my friends complain that they can’t get to speak to their kids when they call their child’s mother or father, but they call at all random hours. Custodial parents often have hectic schedules.
5. Come up with a funny sign off.
If you have some tips to keeping a conversation going, do share....

> Please comment

Is your best friend a single mom? Mother’s Day is a great time to let a hardworking single mom know you appreciate her, and you don’t have to run to the mall to do it.

My top 7 gifts for a single mother:

1. A weekend of baby-sitting. Single moms often have very little “Me” time. You can get creative and make your own baby-sitting coupon and stick it in a card.

2. Offer to take some pictures of your friend with her little one, and create a photo collage. I have so many pictures of my daughter, but so few of us together. It’s nice to have someone capture some of those everyday moments.

3. A manicure and pedicure gift certificate. (But again, offer to baby-sit so she doesn’t have to drag the kids to the salon)

4. Get a calendar and fill it with free summer activities for kids happening in the area. Every time that mom is short of ideas she can reach for the calendar.

5. A CD or downloads of inspirational songs that celebrate motherhood. (I like Fantasia’s “Baby Mama”)

6. Offer to help her organize. Homework, bills, junk mail. She might appreciate having someone she trusts help her purge.

7. Cook a few family size meals and zap them in her freezer.

> Please comment