By Jennifer Jhon

When my son was an infant, he made the cutest baby sounds, most starting with “da.”

One day, instead of crying in his crib, he wailed out a string of un-intelligible syllables, and I laughed. “He’s yelling at us,” I told my husband. “I can’t wait until he talks!”

My friends and acquaintances would smile when I talked about wanting my son to speak. “He’ll start soon, and then you won’t be able to shut him up” they all said.

That “soon” turned out to be further away than we expected.

At first, we didn’t think much of it. He used a few words: mommy, daddy, car, plane. He could identify the pictures in his bedtime stories: cat, dog, one, two, etc. So we thought his not talking might be a boy thing.

But after he turned 2, people started to comment. When I picked him up from Sunday school one day, my son said “mommy,” and a school worker who had been working with him for weeks said “Oh, he talks!”

As my son’s 3rd birthday approached, everyone was getting concerned. His preschool noted his speech and behavior issues and sent us off for testing, a lengthy process that we still have not completed.

But we made a vital discovery right away: My son had hearing loss due to a buildup of fluid in his ears.

It was good news. It explained why my son ignored most commands, and the fluid buildup was something that could be corrected.
Since we got tubes in his ears two months ago, my son’s progress has been dramatic. My husband and I have been thrown back into the “wow, look at my kid” phase that most parents experienced at age 1.

My husband asked my son a few weeks ago where his shoes were, and my son said “I don’t know.” My husband and I looked at each other and beamed. “Did you hear that!?”

We share those moments 2-3 times a week now, just amazed at what our son is able to communicate. He has even started singing in the house, which he rarely used to do.

His teacher shared her own joyful moment about a month after the surgery. “He said my name today for the first time!” she told me. “He is doing so well!”

She is right -- he really is a different kid.

We’ve gone from tense reports of time-outs and office visits to glowing reports of excellent listening skills and helpful behavior.

It is amazing what being able to hear clearly can do.

Now that my son can share what he is thinking, we have discovered that he is wildly imaginative, compassionate and creative -- things we only guessed at before.

Being able to know him on this level has been such a gift, one I think most parents take for granted.

While I feel fortunate to know him so much better now, I’m also a little sad. I have missed communicating with my son for years now. I have a lot to make up for.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released its new car seat guidelines for children. A “Today Moms” article summed up the changes:

• Children should ride rear-facing to age 2, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for their seat. (The old policy from 2002 cited age 12 months and 20 pounds as a minimum for when to turn a seat around.)
• Children should use a booster seat until they have reached 4 feet 9 inches tall and are between 8 and 12 years old.
• Children should ride in the rear of a vehicle until they are 13 years old.

I remember how happy I was the day I got to turn my 1-year-old son’s car seat around. I have a two-door car, which I have no plans of getting rid of because it’s paid off, and the bigger he got, the harder it was to lift him into a rear-facing seat. He is tall for his age, too, and I can’t imagine he would have been able to remain rear-facing until he turned 2. He’s just too tall, and his legs would have been crunched.

Some moms are having trouble accepting the guidelines. The “Today Moms” article quotes a mom of three who isn’t planning on following the new rules:

Carolyn Murray of West Milford, New Jersey, has already transitioned two of her three kids out of car seats. While Murray's 6-year-old son James still uses a booster, daughters, Samantha, 9, and Emily, 11, haven't had one for years.

Murray isn't planning on following the guidelines, saying that most of her driving is in town and not on highways, and she doesn't want the hassle of needing extra car seats when she drives her kids' friends.

Plus, she says she could never get her 11-year-old to comply: “She would fight it.”

"I agree it's probably safer with short children, since seatbelts can cut into their neck. But there's no way she is going to sit in a booster seat. It's an image thing."

Emily says sitting in a booster seat simply isn't cool. “My friends would laugh.”

Even though the guidelines seem inconvenient, I think it’s probably still better to follow them. I would never forgive myself I was in an accident, and my kids were injured because of my refusal to conform to rules that were created solely for their safety.

For more details about the guidelines, visit http://www.aap.org/advocacy/releases/carseat2011.htm.

We received that chilling phone call on a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago. My daughter had been at a friend's house for a birthday party, and was climbing a tree in their back yard. She was about 10 feet up when she stepped on a dead branch and fell. It was moments after the kickoff of the Bears vs. Packers game. We had a house full of people, and our two boys were still napping in their bedroom. We shot out the door in an instant, leaving our good friends in charge, and sped off to meet the ambulance at the hospital.

A million thoughts were running through my head as we sped to our daughter's side. My wife and I comforted each other knowing she was in good hands at our friend's house, and the EMTs were taking good care of her. We both tried to make light of the situation realizing that our girl is a daredevil and - as cautious as we could be - something was bound to happen eventually. All the while our hearts were racing and our stomachs were doing flips.

Continue reading "Your child has been hurt. Meet me at the hospital." »

My wife used to tell me that I had a problem hearing her when the TV was on. I mostly blew it off that she was exaggerating, until I observed the same behavior in my father shortly thereafter. Now I'm starting to see it in my daughter, and she is only seven. Yikes.

The morning routine in our house usually involves my wife and I taking turns getting up with the early risers, and the first step when we hit the couch is to turn on the TV. I have no problem with morning cartoons, but what I do have a problem with is how my daughter seems to be unable to focus on anything else while the TV is on. The constant "Payton! Put your shoes on!" and "Listen, please! Brush your hair!" has become such an issue for us that my wife and I are going to start banning TV in our morning routine.

I was glad to see this article today where a mother made her teens go 6 months without Internet, cell, iPod or TV as an experiment. Things went well for her, so I hope they will go equally well for us! I'll update on our progress soon. Have you tried this with your family?

Photo by Mykl Roventine

While spending a weekend up in Daytona Beach, I came across an article about Flagler Palm Coast High School’s recent announcement that it will use a grant from the Florida Department of Health's Healthy Communities, Healthy People program to provide a room for nursing mothers, complete with a breast pump, seating, a refrigerator and access to a lactation consultant.

It’s exciting to see a grant like this going to encourage breast-feeding. I hope the concept catches on in more work environments.

I know it can be difficult for some new mothers to find a private, comfortable place to pump when they return to work after giving birth. I remember being moved from one empty office to another and feeling embarrassed that the person in the adjacent office could hear the sound of the pump through the wall, especially if that person was a man.

The article says it’s especially challenging for teachers because they need to find someone to watch their classroom while they pump.

The article quotes Pat Lindsey, a lactation consultant and president of the Florida Breastfeeding Coalition, who says many women don’t feel comfortable breast-feeding at work (maybe because there usually aren’t adequate accommodations for nursing mothers?) but that women who breast-feed are more productive and have lower health care costs than mothers who don’t breast-feed.

Also quoted was Deborah Saulsbury, a regional coordinator for Communities Putting Prevention to Work, a Department of Health and Human Services initiative, who said, “Everybody knows about the benefits, but people don't realize how that translates into dollars saved for the district because the teachers aren't absent as much.”

She added that most women whose workplace is not breast-feeding-friendly will switch to formula within about 30 days.

Lindsey said having a place to pump "is a necessity for a great deal of women in the workplace. More women have gone to work, and they are still mothers. They need to be able to be a mother and also be able to do what they need to do."

Read the full article here.

If you’re a working parent, then you know that taking a few days off around a holiday can sometimes be more work than play — not just around the house with the kids home from school, but at work, too, trying to get everything done before you leave the office for a few days.

Lots of parents overwork themselves so they don’t feel guilty about taking a real break. I know that if I don’t get everything done on my list, I can’t fully relax.

Being busy and trying to do too much can make it hard to see what’s really important in life. Do as much as you can and learn to let go what can wait.

So if on Thanksgiving your mind is racing or if you’re stressed out with work or the holidays, try focusing on what’s in front of you, not what isn’t. Enjoy the extra time you have with your family all together, and worry about your to-do list later. Thirty years from now, when you look back on your life, you’ll wish you did.

Have a relaxed Thanksgiving!

I don't know about the rest of the parents out there, but I'm already at the end of my Halloween candy tolerance. Our family tries not to indulge too much in sugary treats, but when this holiday rolls around we always bend the rules for awhile. My usual routine is to take all of the leftovers and bring them into the office. Around the newsroom, candy seems to disappear pretty quickly. Then I heard on the radio about a local dentist who was collecting candy to send to our troops overseas. BRILLIANT! After a little research, I found the Halloween Buy-Back Program website. The video below is from last year, but you get the point.

I can't think of a much better cause, and I'm really anxious to get the crazy pile of sugar out of my house! What do you do with all of your candy leftovers?

According to Bernie Siegel, M.D. on the Huffington Post site, bad parenting can lead to health problems for the children later in life. Here is a quote from the article:

Studies verify what happens to children who grow up unloved and experiencing indifference, rejection and abuse -- by midlife if they haven't killed themselves and others while seeking revenge and experiencing guilt related to their actions, almost 100 percent of them have experienced a major illness, while loved children have one-fourth the serious illness rate.

Wow! Talk about the power of love. The article goes on to make many other various points on the health care debate, but this quote was what really caught my attention. What is the connection? Mostly the fact that modern medicine tends to treat the immediate illness and not the underlying cause. For example: We hold birthing classes for expectant mothers, but not parenting classes?!? Don't you think both are equally important?

I think it is safe to say that most people reading this sincerely care about and love their children (why else would you be reading a parenting blog?), but there are still many neglected kids in our area. If you have some spare time and good parenting skills to boot, then consider helping with our local kids who may not be getting the care they need. Check out Kids in Distress or the Boys and Girls Clubs for opportunities to help our youth, and remember to give your kids a big squeeze.

Photo courtesy of © Fernando Cortés | Dreamstime.com

Go to YouTube and search for It Gets Better. Or go to ItGetsBetterProject.com.

There you will find an astonishing collection of videos of adults speaking directly to teens who are gay or confused about their sexuality, who feel different and are frequently bullied because of who they are. These videos are very simply telling kids: If you are feeling tormented in high school, hold on, don't do anything drastic: Life gets better.

The brainchild of radio host and columnist Dan Savage, the It Gets Better Project has taken on a life of its own on the Internet.

Hundreds and hundreds of videos, new ones being added every day, with the power to reach out and touch that kid sitting in his or her room, tormented and feeling alone. Parents of those kids who don't know how to help.

The recent news reports of bullied gay teens committing suicide prompted Savage and his husband Terry to make a video and post it on YouTube. Soon, other gay adults were making their own short messages. Celebrities have gotten on board, gay and straight.

There are videos by Chris Colfer of Glee and pop stars like Ke$ha and Jason Derulo. The cast of Wicked. Bishop Gene Robinson, an openly gay Episcopal church leader. This week President Obama added his message.

But the most powerful videos are from average folks. The kid from small town Iowa or the South. The videos from gay Christians, Mormons and Muslims, all saying, Don't feel alone. Know that I exist, too.

This is something every teenager, gay or straight, should see.

We help our parents. We do for our kids. And at the end of the day, we get a good night’s sleep – mostly because we drop from exhaustion.

But we have to take time for ourselves. Sure the massage, pedicure and a glass of wine are on the top 10 of the list.

But getting an annual physical and mammogram should be #1 – though I happen to know it gets pushed way down to about #25.

Today, I took care of #1, me.

I got my annual mammogram.

Go take care of you. Whether it’s a physical and mammogram or just a physical, get it. You’ll feel better. Besides, what good is a sandwich without a middle?

Now I’m going to enjoy those other guilty pleasures, without the guilt.

Last night I had the joy of spending hours going through the steps to delouse our house because our friend found head lice on one of our kids. Yuck.

My first reaction was to be embarrassed. Even though someone at her school was the source, it still felt originally like we must've done something wrong as parents. After a little research on head lice on WebMD, I felt a little better. This is my favorite quote from their slideshow:

"Head lice are not a scourge of the lower classes, nor a sign of poor hygiene. They affect children across all levels of income, social class, and cleanliness. The bugs can survive underwater for up to six hours, so kids who bathe regularly are just as vulnerable. The good news is lice are not carriers of any disease."

That information did not change the task we had in front of us — decontamination of three kids. I stopped at CVS on my way home from the office to pick up the treatment. The full kit was a whopping $25 (here is a coupon for $2 off) which includes the shampoo, the gel & comb, and the spray for their rooms. I only bought one kit to treat the whole family. After dinner, my wife and I split up to our respective tasks. She started the shampoo on our daughter, while I decided this was a prime opportunity to give the boys buzz cuts. We washed all of their sheets and pillows, sanitized all of their combs and brushes, sprayed their rooms, and used that tiny little comb on all of them. WOW, what a process. We still managed to get them to bed at a reasonable hour, but I sure hope that we don't have to go through this again.

Have you ever had this problem with your kids? Did I miss any steps? I'm scratching my head just thinking about it.

Stupid mom confesion: When my firstborn was brand new, I discovered some suspicious crystals in his diaper. I immediately turned to my library of reference books -- otherwise known as my guides to paranoia -- and learned that he had some kind of horrible kidney problem.

Naturally, I rushed him to the pediatrician. As I explained the dire situation, the very kind and patient doctor looked intently at me and calmly said: "You just need to change his diaper more often. It's soaked, and that's the stuffing in the diaper."

What I learned from this is that the pediatrician is your friend. And 15 years later, I'm still asking questions. Most recently, when I was sure my second born had had swine flu for a couple days, the good doc called me back to assure me that, given the symptoms I relayed, she didn't.

Today, we're giving you the chance to ask any silly question you might have. Dr. Noel Alonso will be on hand at noon today for an online chat with readers about back-to-school health issues. Don't be shy!

Go to SunSentinel.com/healthchat

That’s the message former WCW female wrestler, Ann-Marie Rae, will convey to a group of youth at a free event Wednesday July 28.

Her presentation, geared primarily toward children entering middle school and older, will also feature some clips of her wrestling days.

Choosing sports as a way of being focused and active and working with local youth has long been a part of what defines Rae – before she became a professional wrestler, she worked at the North Lauderdale Boys & Girls Club and for Lauderhill Parks & Recreation.

Rae’s outline for children to build self-confidence: identify your strength and find a way to develop it. Envision your future. Forgive. Share your skills

It seems like sound advice– create an environment where one can grow to be well-rounded and confident. Sharing makes one’s world bigger. Forgiving allows us to move forward. And keeping an eye on what one wants to be with he or she grows up creates focus.

And it all takes a little of something Rae knows about – strength – of the mind kind.

For more information about her presentation call 954-943-3866.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com/mindingyourbiz or join her on Facebook

Use of digital drugs is said to be on the rise with our kids, and there is still little we know about the long-term effects of binaural beats. "i-Dosing", as it is called, is when you put on headphones and listen to music or tones that are designed to alter brainwave activity. The result is a supposed drug-like euphoria similar to alcohol or marijuana. The website i-Doser.com has tracks with titles like Cocaine, Opium, and Peyote. They even have an ad telling you that you can "earn big money selling i-Doser digital drugs." Nice.

This is a video clip which I found on a recent story from The Oklahoman on the subject...

I think the fact the major universities have done studies which have been "inconclusive" is reason enough for us to be worried. That along with the fact that the websites who sell these tracks (for no cheaper than $16.95) also push "Legal Bud", "Mood Pills" and "Legal Hash".

Granted this isn't as bad as The choking game, but still something we need to be aware of in order to be responsible parents. Have your kids had experiences with this?

I still get a chuckle thinking about that great line in the Christmas Story movie – where the boy’s wish for a bb gun is insatiable.

He’s rebuffed with the comment: “You’ll shoot your eye out, Kid.”

It’s funny, but not really.

Just like fireworks – they’re awesome, but that doesn’t make them safe to be around.

July 4th isn’t the time to teach your kid how to light a match – torch a wick and throw it in the air – all in one smooth motion. In fact it’s downright dangerous – adults – professionals - have perished doing just that. (I’m still very cautious when I light the BBQ grill)

So remember safety first this July 4th – no matter your child’s age. Even picking up spent fireworks requires caution – make sure they are hosed down, or soak them in water, before touching if the kids are on clean-up duty to pick up the sparkler sticks and other small fireworks.

If you’re headed out for an evening of community fireworks (I don’t mean a homeowners association meeting, I really do mean the good old-fashioned fireworks) then there are still a few things to consider.

Some children hate the noise – it seems to truly hurt their ears. Be prepared to lay the blanket farther rather than closer to the source of the explosions. Another advantage to doing that is with some distance, you can avoid the raining debris fallout that some fireworks produce.

Check out KidHealth for lots of good no-nonsense common sense fireworks safety advice.

And check out our Crime & Safety blog on the topic.

photo credit: Sun Sentinel, Mark Randall

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Now that you have joined the ranks of momminess – you are the mother of a lot of ideas – aren’t you?

Well, Huggies thinks you are. The Kimberly-Clark brand is launching a grant program - Huggies MomInspired - to provide inventive moms with the seed capital they need to help transform viable ideas into successful new businesses.

After all, Huggies says moms are “often creative problem-solvers that typically embody natural entrepreneur characteristics on a daily basis.”

To be considered for a grant moms, 21 years or older, residing in the United States, must submit an application online, outlining a unique baby or child care product idea that addresses an unmet parenting need.

Winners will be awarded with up to $15,000 per grant to help fund their product ideas.
Hurry up, the deadline is June 9.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

I’m feeling it for a friend of mine. She just had a baby girl. Her little bundle of joy is only a few days old.

My girlfriend is an organic buff who practically lives at Whole Foods. She bought only organic clothes for the baby. She was the first one to introduce me to organic baby oil for moms.

Nowadays though, her dilemma is that while she planned to breastfeed all along, her breasts aren’t producing enough milk and the doctor has recommended that she supplement with formula.

She’s not alone. A lot of women realize after their child is born that breastfeeding can be difficult. Not every new mom is able to fill bottles upon bottles with breast milk in the beginning. It takes time for babies to latch on. And pumping can seem like torture.

Making it worst, some family members stress new moms out even more by pressuring them to give the baby more and more formula rather than encouraging breastfeeding.

I recommended my friend meet with her lactation specialist to get some more tips.
I begged her not to stress out, since stress can only hinder the ability to breastfeed even more.
And I warned her that it’s going to take some patience.

She started researching organic baby formula. But we both know it doesn’t get more organic than breastfeeding.

Get your little lions and tigers outdoors – after all - it’s National Wildlife Week, through March 21.

And since our children, by nature, are nature lovers – it’s also a good time to teach them the value of wildlife and enjoy the great outdoors.

That’s what the National Wildlife Federation -sponsored week is all about. This year’s theme: Be Out There At Home, School and Play

A few fun facts: The first National Wildlife Week observance took place more than 70 years ago.
Today’s average child spends only 4-7 minutes outside each day. Compare that to the 7 hours and 38 minutes per day the average kid spends engaged with electronic media, according to the Kaiser Family Foundation.

There are activities for all ages and links to resources here:

Get active: National Wildlife Week

Locate venues: NatureFind

For teachers: Educator Activity Guide

Now, go on, go outside! (Just like how Mom says)

It's hard to imagine a hotdog coming in any other shape but the current one.

But the American Academy of Pediatrics, calling a hotdog bite "the perfect plug for a child's airway," is recommending a redesign of the dog to prevent choking.

We've all cut up hotdogs into tiny pieces, knowing about the choking potential of this food, which is so unhealthy anyway. But it seems impossible to imagine it in a circle or a square, or as a paste or thin like a piece of turkey.

Send over your ideas!

Michael Cardona, a junior at South Tech Academy in Boynton Beach, won the statewide Act-Out for Health contest. Now, his billboard (above) promoting Florida KidCare, can be seen at Boynton Beach Boulevard and U.S. 441.

Florida KidCare is a state and federally supported health insurance program for children.

In addition to Michael's winning design, three Palm Beach County students were regional winners. Grant Grillo and Hailey Mears from Seminole Ridge Community High School Loxahatchee won in the commercial PSA category. Sebastian Specer, of South Tech Academy, was a regional winner in the billboard category.

South Tech graphic design instructor Mickey Schemer had his students research the KidCare program, then they learned how to make a billboard effective for a specific audience. "With that in mind, they worked hard to create a message and design that would capture people's attention," he said.

To view all of the winning billboards and television PSAs, click here.

I've known it was coming for a while, and we have been preparing our finances. But when my daughter got a "crossbow" installed in her mouth yesterday, it became official: We have entered "Phase 2," the infamous and incomprehensible second stage of orthodonture in America.

She finished Stage 1 about two years ago by getting her braces off and getting a retainer. Now, at 13, she gets more braces, beginning with the crossbow, which resembles a medieval-style torture device cemented to her molars, with springs that are supposed to realign her jaws.

I have never gotten a clear answer as to why there are two phases of orthodonture for so many kids. Each stage costs about $5,000, obviously a major investment for everyone I know. As I said in a previous post, every kid I know goes to the orthodontist and needs braces. When you think about how much it's costing each of us, you've got to question whether the lengthy process is a necessity or a luxury.

Photo courtesy Pink Sherbet

Not sure where to begin with this one. First, you have the issue that these kids have other parents who were not involved in the decision. Second, you have the health implications from using the same needle for all of the kids. Third, you have basic common sense. A tattoo on a ten year old?!?! Someone help me figure this one out.

Not quite as nice as being diaper free, but our first few days without having bottles around has really been liberating. Needless to say, this did not come without a price.

Let me set the stage a little. Both of our boys sleep in the same room, and both would go to bed with full bottles in hand. We know it's not a good habit, but this is where we ended up. Our routine would consist of filling up bottles to keep them happy during the night. Not good for any of us.

Giving up the bottle was not a big deal for our 19-month-old. We "lucked out" that he was cutting a few teeth at once and couldn't take the pacifier or bottle. Since that few days of screaming, we have not had to worry about him needing any accessories.

Now the two-and-a-half-year-old, that is a completely different story. Mind you, he only gets the bottle when he naps and goes to bed. I have been trying to convince my wife that we needed to pull the bottle and pacifier from him for some time, but she is of the "he'll do it when he's ready" school of thought. Since she is the one home with all three kiddos, she gets to make those calls. Her idea was to set him up with a date and give him fair warning when we would take the bottle from him, so we set our sights on the new year.

When the big day came, the bribe (sorry, "incentive") of a trip to the "Goo Goo" store was presented. Translation: Goo Goo = Choo Choo = Train = The Hobby Superstore. I let him know that he could pick out a really big toy if he agreed to no more bottles. He was very excited and agreed while jumping up and down. After a quick scare that the store might not be open on New Year's Day (thankfully it was), he decided on Cranky the Crane for his wooden Thomas the Train set. I told him that he couldn't take Cranky out of the box until he had taken a nap and gone to bed without his bottles. That was the easy part.

I've heard about what it is like to see someone go through heroin withdrawal, and it can't be much worse than this. "I want my baa baa!" was the cry which would come from his bed for the next hour before we gave up trying to have him nap. He was fine the rest of the day, despite not having his usual rest. However it was no surprise that the same "I want my baa baa!" cry would dominate our entire sleepless night. We gave up keeping Cranky in the box around 2am thinking it might give us a moment's peace — no luck. We all tossed and turned, but he made it through.

We celebrated his success by building a huge train track on the living room floor for his new toy. Since then the cries have died down, and we are all finally enjoying a full night's rest.

This morning I was checking my Facebook page and I found a note from a very good friend. His wife had just given birth! However, this normally celebrated occasion was a bit tempered as the baby is extremely premature. Weighing in at only one pound, the child has been given a 40% chance of survival by her team of doctors. I told him "congratulations", but it just didn't sound right.

After hanging up the phone, my mind started wandering back to my own experience with the birth of my first child. Although nowhere near as severe, my daughter was 6 weeks premature and weighed only 4 lbs. 15 oz. I remember the 18 days we spent in the hospital as if they were yesterday. The support we had from friends, family, and coworkers made all the difference in coping. It is amazing what the power of positive energy can do. My daughter just turned six, and we have celebrated every minute of her life.

I've seen my family go through the other side of this experience as well. My cousin had twins and there were serious complications. Long story short, only one of her daughters survived. Today is actually the anniversary of her daughter's passing. Listening to her and her husband speak at their infant daughter's funeral was one of the most heartbreaking things I have witnessed. Their story really showed me that every single second of life is precious.

Please help me send positive energy (prayers, if that is your thing), thoughts, and words out to this child who is only hours old and is fighting for her life. Share your stories with us if you've had similar experiences, and hug your kids tight!

The Pride Center at Equality Park, along with other supportive agencies, is seeking to open up an exchange of ideas and solutions to help the community understand the needs and social circumstances of gay, lesbian and transgendered youth in Broward County.

So, this Friday, the GLCC Pride Center is hosting a conference from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.at their new location: 2040 N. Dixie Highway, in Wilton Manors.

Co-hosts include SunServe, the YMCA of Broward County, Safe Schools South Florida and Equality Florida. “Trapped in the Margins: Challenges of Meeting the Needs of Broward’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth,” will highlight issues and challenges; provide information and create dialog as a way to assist our GLBT youth.

Medical and clinical professionals, elected officials, youth service providers, business owners[ legal and protective service professionals and the general public will present case studies and speeches.

For more information about the symposium call 954-463-9005. To learn more about The GLCC Pride Center and their programs visit www.glccsf.org

The public health messages about mammograms have never been more confusing.

For years, we were told every woman over 40 should get a mammogram every year so doctors could detect breast cancer before it became widespread. Although the American Cancer Society is continuing that recommendation, they admitted last month that mammography can “miss cancers that need treatment, and in some cases find disease that does not need treatment.”

That means women are going through chemotherapy and radiation for tumors that don't need intervention. Unfortunately, doctors can't tell the difference yet.

I've had a couple of mammograms over the years but let my prescription for the last one lapse because I've been reading so much about the controversy over their usefulness. I have an appointment next week with my ob-gyn and definitely will broach this topic.

Here we go again. For the second time this month, a mother in South Florida has been caught passed-out drunk in her car with her kids. Can anyone fathom how a person's life could come to this? Really!?!?! Is getting loaded more important than your child's safety? Something is WAY out of whack here.

The first case was back on October 2 when Brenda Lee Duclos was found passed out behind the wheel of her minivan in her own driveway. The worst part is after she passed out, her 3-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter got out of the car and started wandering the neighborhood barefoot. The cops found FOUR empty bottles of wine in the car. When the police talked to the kids, one of them said "Mommy is drunk". Nice.

The most recent incident happened on Saturday when Joanne Martinez was found passed out in her boyfriend's SUV after drinking tequila at a family party Friday night. She apparently tried to drive home with 3 kids in the car, her 4 and 6 year-old children as well as her 7-year-old nephew. She was so drunk that when the cops woke her up she vomited. Who at this "family party" thought it was a good idea to let her drive?!?! Honestly?!

Maybe a MADD or an AA meeting complete with photos of bloody car wrecks would sober them up? Maybe the fact that the CDC reported that 68 percent of children killed in alcohol-related crashes in the United States between 1997 and 2002 were riding in the same vehicle as the drinking driver would be a wake up call?

I don't know whether to be sad, pissed off, or just plain disappointed that this seems to be happening more and more. Obviously both of these women have serious drinking problems, and that is nothing to make fun of. I hope for the sake of their children that they get the help they need.

Remember when true body odor didn’t hit until you were a teenager? It seem like those days are gone.

The other day my aunt came over and discreetly asked me if I had introduced my daughter to deodorant.

At six? Isn’t that too early? I thought.

But after raising this sensitive topic to some of my friends with young children, I learned that many of them have scoured the Internet looking for some form of child-friendly deodorant for their five and six-years-olds.

Some said they wanted to ask other parents about how they dealt with this prickly issue, but wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.

I know enough to know that there have been reports of health risks linked to using deodorant too early. Some experts say don’t do it, and to instead have your child bathe more often, wear loose fitting clothes and use some form of talc powder.

Some of my "organic only" parents said they have their children using deodorants from the health food stores that tend to have fewer chemicals. But is that harmless?

While no one wants their child to stand out because of their odor, we need to start taking a look at why our young children are developing so fast. Something is not right about having to introduce a first grader to deodorant.

What’s next, deodorant for toddlers?

What would possess a woman to take joy in not shaving her legs or underarms for months, when she always had, and in fact - simply stopped using shampoo?

That same woman even got her eyebrows tattooed, started working out and shaved her head.

That's because this mother/daughter was getting ready for the battle of her life - fighting breast cancer. And October marks the annual National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

It's been nine years since --Doris Pastl, now also a grandmother, and owner of the Boynton Beach-based Specialty Advertising Inc. was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. That's when she entered her own personal, self-imposed boot camp of readiness: creating a support group around her, a positive attitude, purpose, focus, and humor.

She underwent treatments and surgery. She endured wigs, hospital gowns, no hair, nausea, fear, strength, laughing and crying. She chronicled "This is My Story," in a pamphlet-style book with photos, short cutlines and lists.

Pastl lists feelings, advantages of being bald (you never have a bad hair day) and disadvantages (if you've had a face lift, the scars will show).

Pastl's simple presentation makes it an easy read despite the fact that it is about someone's real life emotional and physical roller coaster. Any woman: aunt, sister, mother, grandmother facing the challenge could sit with a child to read "This is My Story."

But Pastl also knows the experience is different for every one. So she wants other women to share with her, to add to her lists. Pastl wants people to read her story and share it with others. To obtain copies, to add to her lists, call Pastl at 800-433-7452.

For a donation, you can have a hot pink hair extension woven into place as another way to recognize Breast Cancer Awareness and as fundraisers. Find out here where PINK Extensions are available at participating hair salons throughout the month.

Do you have a breast-cancer survival story to share with the Sun Sentinel?

UPDATE: Find out about fundraisers this month on Rod Hagwood's Fashion calendar blog. Some events, starting around Oct. 18, are specifically geared to breast cancer awareness.

Earlier this week, it was announced that Broward public schools, and the county health department, would vaccinate students against H1N1, for free. This is quite a convience for parents.

But I wonder how many will opt out?

A recent AP-Gfk poll revealed that 38 percent of parents nationally would not give permission for their children to be vaccinated at school. Some are concerned about the side effects; some say the swine flu threat is no greater than any other flu.

There are those who eschew any kind of vaccination for fear of all sorts of terrible things; and then there are the germ phobes who would vaccinate their children against other humans if possible.

I'll probably let my kids get vaccinated, but that's mostly because I'm lazy. It's free and I don't have to schlepp them to the doctor. What's not to love about that?

What are you going to do? Take our poll here.

If your child was out sick from school, home with a cold, or flu, maybe a fever, would you insist they do their school work?

I did.

The Kid is under the weather. We baby him when that happens. It just one more excuse to spoil him even more.

Homemade chicken soup is just the beginning. He’s been reading, sleeping and relaxing. His house chores are on hold.

Still the biggest worry – probably more for us than him – is his getting behind in his school assignments.

Life goes on: when he gets better – he’s going to feel worse about all the homework that piled up.
Class work will become homework. Homework will be added to homework. And he has a few projects coming up.

So we give him a cup of warm soup, hot tea, crackers to much on – and pen and paper to get cracking on his studies.

Nice, huh.

What’s your philosophy when the kid is down and out with the occasional bug -- Do you give them the total spa treatment – or keep them on task with school work?

We already know the dangers of multi-tasking and cell phones.

But the jury is still out as to the extent of brain tumors and cancer connected to cell phone use - especially with regards to children using them.

It’s a heated debate: studies, seminars and more studies abound, but are often inconclusive.

Reuters and the Huffington Post reported on a two-day symposium on the topic that will take place in Washington DC Sept 13 - Sept. 15.

A blog post on foodconsumer.org emphasizes study flaws: that health risks of cell phone use is underestimated.

Last year ScientificAmerican addressed the issue – ultimately without concluding one way or another the health risks of cell phone usage.

There are already a lot of negatives stacked against cell phone users --kids or adults: driving and using cell phones, expense, time management and etiquette.

But health seems to also be an issue one should take into consideration.

Maybe - if we share that information with our children, they might opt IN for good old fashioned face to face conversations!

Can you imagine spending quality time with each of your 19 kids?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar insist they will be able to do this, as they announced yesterday their 19th child is scheduled to be born in March.

They've gotten quite a franchise going, with a new book, "The Duggars: 20 and Counting," a reality show on TLC, and various things they promote, such as a "financial freedom seminar" on their website.

They seem so happy and functional on their TV show. Michelle is the epitome of calm and never seems to age, and Jim Bob seems dedicated to the family. This story in People magazine shows how they distribute the workload: Each of the older kids has some serious responsibilities, basically raising the kids and taking care of the house to free up the parents to have more kids.

At first I was quick to judge them; who needs 19 kids? But if they're not on welfare and are creating law-abiding citizens, more power to them.

I have three girls, but I always wondered what I would do if I had a boy and the circumcision issue came up.

I'm sure I would go through with it, but I can't help thinking about its barbarity.
Now experts are thinking of recommending routine circumcision for all boys born in the United States as a way to prevent HIV.

Almost 80 percent of American males have been circumcised, but public health officials still think routine surgery could take a jab at the virus that causes AIDS.

They admit, though, that circumcision wouldn't make a dent in one of the major groups affected by AIDS: homosexual men. The surgery appears to curb the spread of the virus only in heterosexual men.

Did you have any second thoughts about circumcising your son?

It’s time to get serious now, we’re talking school lunches.

Bring ‘em or buy ‘em, either way, school lunches deserve a parent’s focus and consideration.

I’m as interested in packaging as I am ingredients.

On most occasions, I pack The Kid’s lunch in a brown paper bag. He folds it up and closes it between pages of a book after lunch, that way, he isn’t carry a bulky empty object. He re-uses the bag til the thing basically dies – up to a month or more sometimes. I wrap his sandwich in wax paper sheets. (I love the wax bags but can never find them.) Sometimes his drink is a water in a bottle he re-uses, or box drinks.

Whole Foods Market even partnered with the Fort Lauderdale Museum of Science and Discovery by providing nutritional snacks with environmentally low-impact packaging to summer camp attendees.

When I shop for food, just about everywhere you look, there are great simple recipes using produce, fish, meats, grains and dairy products.

For some upfront investment in prep and cooking time – you can send your kid packing with fresh, cool (as in hip), filling and healthy snacks and lunches.

If you rely on school-provided lunches, this just-released news today about another Whole Foods initiative might interest you:

Renegade Lunch Lady” Chef Ann Cooper will partner with Whole Foods Market to launch the Virtual Lunch Box Web Portal, which will enable administrators and like-minded “lunch ladies” throughout the country to reform their meal plans by offering the necessary tools and resources. The portal will serve as the most comprehensive, easily accessible, and free set of resources available, offering scalable recipes, training resources and educational tools.

Links to the joint projects enlighten us parents to the daunting task of what’s involved in the planning and feeding a mass of kids in a smart yet affordable manner.

The School Food Project – Boulder, CO

Sundance Channel: Grains of Change

If you’re on Twitter, follow other concerned parents to ask questions, share ideas and resources beginning with @SSParents and @lunchboxbunch and @WFMFtLauderdale

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

As I walked through Town Center Mall in Boca Raton with my 15-year-old, a guy at a kiosk asked us if there was a smoker in our family who sought an alternative.

He was peddling electronic cigarettes, which deliver nicotine in a cigarette shape without tobacco smoke. My daughter disagreed with me, but I couldn't help but think he was sending a subtle message to teens that there is a new kind of cigarette out there that is "healthier."

How timely that the FDA announced last week that electronic cigarettes are close to poisonous. They not only contain cancer-causing nitrosamines; they have diethylene glycol, the toxic ingredient in antifreeze.

Unfortunately the FDA is not taking smokeless cigarettes off the market. In the meantime, watch out as mall workers try to lure you in with claims, such as this description on the Smoking Everywhere website, that you can avoid "the fire, flame, tobacco, tar, carbon monoxide, ash, stub, smell and all the other chemicals found in traditional cigarettes." Right, instead you can inhale a different set of cancer-causing chemicals.

The amazing ability of swine flu to spread like wildfire hit home for me this summer, when my kids' sleepaway camp was canceled due to an outbreak among the counselors just before camp started.

So I am reading with interest about the federal government's preparations for more potential outbreaks when school starts next month.

Children ages 5 to 17 will be among the first to be offered a new vaccine, scheduled to be available in October. It will be interesting to see if schools start to require the new shot and refuse to allow kids who aren't inoculated.

I hope not. From what I've read, if you're healthy, swine flu will knock you out for a few days but
then you get better, just like any flu. So I would hesitate to vaccinate my kids with a quickly developed, largely untested vaccine against an illness from which they likely would recover quickly with no long-term effects.

I’m not much of a hypochondriac. But the latest cases of swine (H1N1) flu involving pregnant women has me wanting to spend the rest of my pregnancy inside a bubble, free of germs.

The first reported Swine Flu death in Palm Beach County last week was a 25-year-old pregnant woman, whose newborn survived. The state’s health department is awaiting official results on another pregnant woman, 27 years old and 26 weeks pregnant, from Wellington who now lies in a medically induced coma to help fight off the illness.

What gives? Hard to say if the women had any pre-existing health issues prior to contracting the flu. But it’s hard to miss what they certainly have in common.

So what’s a pregnant woman to do?

My 4-year-old son’s pre-school has twice in recent weeks sent home notices about Type A flu, including one confirming that a child at the school was positively diagnosed. State epidemiologists are saying that chances are on the high side that those coming down with the flu likely involve the H1N1 strain. That’s because it’s rare to see so many cases during summertime. And to be clear: Most patients recover.

But my bulging belly has me worried if: 1) I’m more at risk and 2) whether I can do anything to fight it if I do become ill. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), pregnant women can develop more serious complications from the illness because of changes in their heart, lungs and immune systems during gestation. The World Health Organization on Monday announced that a Swine Flu vaccine wouldn't be ready for wide distribution until the end of the year.

Here are some steps you should take if you or someone you know is pregnant and worried about contracting swine flu:

Continue reading "Pregnant women at risk for swine flu" »

What do you say, what do you do, if your child says he or she wants to change their gender?

If it takes a famous person like Chastity Bono to openly go through the process to create dialog, that's great. But not everyone is so lucky to have a built in fan-base, financial reserves, good connections. And not everyone is an independent adult.

Your questioning child still depends on you.

It's a complicated issue for those on the outside looking in.

But "complicated" doesn't even come close to describing the process for the individual going through it. How does he or she even begin to articulate it to others?

Think about this: a female wants to transition to male (F2M). Would that person want to be with females (straight) or other males (gay)? Conversely, would a male, transitioning to female (M2F) want to be with males (straight) or other females (lesbian)?

Is it even that simple? I think not.

Several articles and blogs have discussed one family where the parents are letting their 8-year-old son openly live life as a girl.
Here is one report.

For more insight, read this account of a woman whose son came to her and said "Mom, I need to be a girl."

Lots of organized information is available.

In this post Transproud helps parent navigate the reality that their child just announced they have a gender conflict.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is a voice within the school community to ensure a safe environment to GLBT youth and create open discussion.

Are you getting bugged this summer by insects?

Perhaps, after reading the item posted today by my colleague Brittany Wallman on the virtues of having a dog for a pet - you'll run out and get one this weekend.

So, here are a few things to consider:

If your children are playing outdoors and getting bitten by mosquitoes, chances are the family pet is too.

Mosquitoes, fleas and ticks are right there keeping up with your family on picnics, on walks, at ball games and while doing yard work.

Barry the Bug Guy at Truly Nolen offers tips on how to keep pets bug-free on The Insect Inquirer.

And yes, I did mention yard work. Here's an idea - a yard work party. Get the kid to invite friends over.

Then announce that before the video games, there are a few things that have to be done outside. (I've never seen kids rake so fast. They haul trash, cut branches and pull weeds at lightening speed.)

After a glass of lemonade, they feel well-paid and happy!

But be sure your kids are protected from insects too! KidsHealth has some pointers on how to handles bites and stings.

This is an amazing story.

Wait, this just in: Update - earlier today, there was a report about a newborn about to undergo surgery to remove an undeveloped fetus from its mouth, in Miami. After a news conference, reporters learned it's NOT a twin.

At this point, I am also reframing my post to be more reflective of the new information.

A child was born with a tumor covering the face. Here is the story about the recent surgery and recovery of the now two-month-old child

Our hearts tug at stories about children and families facing challenges.

Operations for any child can overwhelm every family member.

KidsHealth.org provides some guidance of how to prepare your family - and you - for hospital experiences such as visits and surgery

It’s not just a summer thing.

However, any excuse to highlight the dangers of children around water is good enough.

Growing up – my parents had me and all of my siblings on swimming teams when we were very young.

I passed on my love of water – and my respect for it – making sure my children could each swim before they were five years old.

None of the above guarantees a child’s safety 100 percent.

In fact, a little bit of exposure and a few swimming lessons can create over-confidence.

Parents should never let their guard down with children, around pools, lakes, etc.

Look at some safety tips in this South Florida Parenting article: Keeping baby afloat.

And here is one of our picture galleries. A safety tip accompanies each photo.

And happy swimming, or sailing or water polo!

For those of us with small children something like the swine flu brings another layer of worry.

How to do you get a 3 1/2 –year-old to protect herself? It means it's time to stress to the kids what are already good hygiene habits.

The U.S. Center for Disease Control say we parents have to set good examples. Teach the kids to wash their hands often and well. Show them how to cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing.

It sounds practical. But then there’s government talk that just doesn’t make sense with small children. The CDC wants us to teach our children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick. And if there’s a swine flu case in South Florida, keep the children away from crowds.

What toddler is even going to know what six feet means? Never mind to stay that far away from another sick child. And how are they supposed to recognize when a playmate may be sick? And are we supposed to keep the kids out of day care? It just doesn’t make sense.

It falls to us parents. And really, we have to depend on the judgment of other parents to keep their sick kids at home.

For now, we have not changed the routine for Ana Isabel or Lucas Emilio, who just turned 1. But if things get worse, it could mean cutting out trips to the playground they so enjoy. No more visits to the children’s museum that Ana asks to go to almost every weekend. We could be spending a lot more times in the backyard with fewer playmates coming over.

As parents we have to be even more vigilant than ever. And worry just that much more.

Here what the CDC's says are the symptoms to keep an eye out for and what to do if your child gets sick.

Anyone remember this classic (and compelling) anti-drug ad from the 1980s?

Happy 4/20!

In case you don't know it, today is some sort of counterculture holiday. If someone wishes you a Happy 4/20, you've been identified as a marijuana smoker, past, present, future or indifferent.

My 16-year-old stepdaughter got a Happy 420 text message this morning.

What the?

Continue reading "Happy 420 to my teenage stepdaughter?" »

I keep thinking about Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

She's the Broward congresswoman and mother of three who recently revealed she underwent seven surgeries for breast cancer, including a double mastectomy, without telling almost anyone. She is talking for the first time now to increase awareness of breast cancer among young women (she's 42).

I keep thinking how I would have handled the same situation. Without sounding too overdramatic, I would probably come close to a nervous breakdown. I probably wouldn't be able, physically or emotionally, to work. There would be lots of tears and feeling sorry for myself.

So when I read about her steely resolve, unyielding focus on her congressional duties, how she served as host for a Nancy Pelosi fundraiser nine days after surgery, how her family life has continued as normal, I can't relate. We all cope differently with life's traumas, but I know few people who would be as emotionally unaffected as our congresswoman.

Don't just hide the junk food. Talk up the superpowers of the carrots.

Or as my wife does, hide the vegetables; she purees them into a marinara sauce.

This article in Newsweek says a Cornell researcher found that telling kids they're eating "X-ray vision carrots" helped kindergartners eat 50 percent more carrots. The researcher doesn't seem to have a problem with lying to kids in order to get them to eat.

Sounds like an old trick to me. I remember my mother telling me and my friends that eating spinach gave Popeye big muscles. So we should eat our spinach to. That was a lie, too, and it didn't work. It wasn't until I was older that I appreciated a good spinach dish. And I loved Popeye as a kid.

Generations of parents have faced the challenge of trying to get our kids to eat healthy. My guess is that the kids will mimic their parents' habits. So we have tried to be better role models for my daughter, 3 1/2, and son, who turns 1 this month.

Even so, we just don't leave the cookies out on the counter. They're kept out of sight and come out only as a treat.

Also, we offer the kids apples and oranges for snacks or give them broccoli or asparagus with their dinners. A crazy thing happens many times. They just eat it.

I wonder, though, when they don't want their vegetables, should we just lie to our kids? What do you think, is a "healthy" lie OK?

At what cost was this child acting? Or was he?

The controversy surrounding this anti smoking ad has brought a great deal of attention to the issue of smoking.

But also it has many questioning if this child was truly acting.

Let's say he was. As the commercial director stated, he was coached. The piece was shot in one take. Is this tremendous acting at such a young age?

How many films and shows have we all watched where the child's emotions move us to tears? Why is this so different?

What's your take?

My daughter Ana Isabel was one of those chunky babies. She weighed 20 pounds at six months.

If I would've read this story back then, it would have worried me. It basically says that infants who gain weight rapidly in the first months of life have a greater chance of being obese by the time they turn 3. This story is based on a study published in the April issue of Pediatrics, a medical journal.

I'm glad to report Ana, now 3 1/2, is not obese. She weighs about 35 pounds now, which is normal for her age.

Nonetheless, the study goes against the common perception that a heavier baby is a healthier baby. It also comes at a time when many experts worry about childhood obesity.

So now what are we supposed to do now put infants on a diet? What do you think?

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

Yes, I tried to explain that giving water to a newborn is not generally a good idea. We talked to our pediatrician about Leo's formula because he seemed to be spitting up a bit. We are following our pediatrician's advice, which brings us back to rejecting my mother's advice.

And then Leo has another hiccup.

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

Continue reading "Grandparents: Good intentions, bad advice?" »

Mac, our gold tabby, was there when I started dating my wife, Carrie Ann. He saw us bring home Ana Isabel and then Lucas Emilio.

Ana, 3-1/2 years old, loves the cat. We keep close tabs on Lucas when he's near Mac since he's just 10 months old and likes to grab fur.

Mac has always been part of the family. But this week we found out Ana's allergic to him.

A few weeks back, Ana had an emergency visit to the pediatrician when she was having trouble breathing. After two more visits to the doctor and a specialist there's no way around it.

Mac has got to go.

For some time, my daughter has had the classic symptoms of an allergy sufferer. We thought it was a recurring cold. The specialist is now treating her.

The American College of Asthma, Allergies & Immunology has this brochure that gives tips on controlling allergens in the house. We found out we were doing many of the wrong things.

After we get over the parent guilt of having exposed our children to an allergen, we have to deal with finding a new home for a 12-year-old cat. We've posted fliers, hit up Facebook friends and checked with other cat lovers. We'll look at rescue organization as well. But if we can't find the cat a new home, he has go either way. That's the hard part.

Anybody want a warm, lovable lap cat?

My daughter Ana Isabel had a cold last week. She seemed to be getting better but she had this persistent cough. Ana, at three and half, has had these cough before at the tail end of a cold.

But this was different. From one day to the next, the cough seemed to get worse.

At one point, she was coughing almost nonstop. My wife called the pediatricians' office. They told her they couldn't do anything for a cough. Don't bring her in. Give her cough syrup. We had already done that.

When my wife put Ana in the bath, she gasped for air. "Mommy, I can't breathe," Ana said. It hurts just writing that sentence. Her breaths were shallow and short.

We raced her to the doctor's office. They saw her immediately, examined her, took X-rays and put her on a nebulizer treatment. She improved right away. The color came back to her face.

It's too soon to know if the diagnosis is asthma, the doctors said. But we got the drugs and equipment to treat someone with asthma.

It's common. The American Lung Association says asthma is the leading serious chronic illness in children.
Here's an article about toddlers and asthma.

It runs in the family. So we're not surprised. Still, it's been my scariest parenting episode so far.

Headache, schmedache - send the kid to school.

Or should you?

There's times we send our 13-year old to school even when he complains of a headache, stomach ache - or might - just might have an ever so slight fever.

I know. That's so cold. KidsHeatlh has some good pointers, tips and advice on the matter.

Still - we don't want him to stop the world just because he isn't feeling 100 percent. And only this week, we actually did let him stay home two days.

After all, how many times do we go to work when we'd rather be home because we feel a little "under the weather?"

So, which is it in your house: pamper him or her with their favorite blankey, hot tea and cozy pillows?

Or like me, pack 'em up and ship 'em out with a pat on the head for encouragement? (Wouldn't want to kiss them in case they're contagious!)

Shh. Don’t tell anyone. We’re feeding Leo formula. I said SHHH!!!!!

Oh, great, it’s out now.

Now I’m going to hear it from the Breast Milk Mafia. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I have no knowledge that such an organization exists. But something in the back of my head suspects that they do, in the same way that the “Liberal Media” exist. No one will ever admit to being a part of it, and those in it are least likely to recognize it.

Stock photo: Not Leo

No one wants to be a quitter. No one wants to say “we gave up.” Language like that inadvertently leads to feelings of guilt when the mother, sore and exasperated, looks at you with tears in her eyes because it’s 2 a.m. and the baby’s hungry and that means another round of pain that's becoming more and more unbearable with each feeding.

We switched to formula. The decision was made with tears, followed by relief. Leo slept longer. His weight loss reversed. I can feed the baby. Mom can feed the baby. Big Big Sis and Little Big Sis can feed the baby.

The literature, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, will tell you that “Breast is best.” And they’re right. Who am I to argue? But imagine my pleasure when I read that “Breastfeeding is considered the best nutritional option for babies by the major medical organizations, but it's not right for every mother.” Imagine the pleasure of being able to console my wife, who was bottlefed and who bottlefed her first daughter, that it’s okay to bottlefeed. I was bottlefed.

In fact, shhh, most mothers try breastfeeding in the hospital, but by the time the baby reaches six months of age, only 27 percent are still breastfeeding at all, and just 8 percent are breastfeeding exclusively.

I’m not saying breastfeeding is a bad thing. Quite the opposite. All I'm saying is that women should not feel guilty for opting for formula. The birth of our child has opened a flood of emotions in our household. There's no room for guilt.

To those who manage to breastfeed for a significant amount of time, my wife and I salute you.

For those who chose formula, we’re with you.

Oh boy!

And I do mean oh, Boy!

It’s about The Kid’s hair. He’s got that grooming thing going on now. And, I must say, he looks pretty dapper!

In the morning getting ready for school, we hear him thinking out loud: “Which gel today? The one that makes them want to run their hands through my hair? Which cologne?" Then we hear humming. Water running, straightening the collar; another quick glance in the mirror – lights off and he’s out the door.

"Bye," he calls out with a smile. He heads to the bus stop, a spring in his step. This is one confident and happy guy.

For those totally overwhelmed and baffled parents and teenagers, KidsHealth offers lots of tips and advice on personal hygiene.

In the meantime, we’re going to have to rearrange a few shelves in the bathroom, to make room for his stuff.

What fashion raves and grooming obsessions is your teen going through?

My first daughter is done with her braces. My second child is about to enter "Phase 2."

I am told Number Three will need braces too. It makes me wonder: Is there a child in America today who does not need braces?

I don't know anyone who has visited an orthodontist for a consultation and been told that their kids' teeth are fine. Every kid needs lots of metal over a course of several years, with some combination of braces, retainer, brackets, rubber bands, spacers, head gear and tooth removal.

I went to the Web site of the American Association of Orthodontists and learned that imperfect teeth are not only unsightly but can cause tooth decay and are more prone to break in an accident.

I don't deny this, but I also can't deny the thousands of dollars it costs for each kid. So I'm wondering: Is there anyone out there who did not have orthodonture and your teeth are fine? And is there a kid out there who went to a South Florida orthodontist for a consultation and was told there was no need to come back?

Our adorable 15-month-old baby, Rowan, has bowlegs. We were at the pediatrician yesterday for his checkup, and I was warned it will get worse for the next three months. Then again, I shouldn’t say “worse” because, as I’ve learned, there’s nothing wrong with his legs.

Once upon a time, parents were alarmed by this situation. Special shoes, braces -- whatever. But that’s no longer the response. As the Web site “Pregnancy & Baby” explains, a “bent” tibia could be connected to the way the baby was curled up inside the uterus during pregnancy. But that explanation doesn’t convince me. If that were the case, why wouldn’t every baby have bent legs? Rowan is also in the 90th percentile for height and right up there for weight as well, factors I would put my non-MD money on.

Regardless, it is interesting that we’ve dispensed with such draconian responses to normal childhood conditions.

I can vouch for the influence parents have over their communities.

When I was way too young to remember, my dad was on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He represented white people pushing for change, he represented his faith as a Presbyterian minister, and ultimately, he simply represented his family.

Recently, one of my brothers found this clip about him from an old 1961 edition of Jet Magazine. He was quoted, “Let me tell you of several incidents when Jesus was caught in the act of sitting-in,” said Henry Warren Kunce. I cannot begin to express my pride!

So it’s not a stretch for me to see the value in National Parent Leadership Month that honors and celebrates parents for the vital roles they fill in their homes and communities.

But, not everyone has the opportunity to take on a mission like the one my dad did.

Still, other issues are just as noble, like Prevent Child Abuse Florida. For many, it’s a cause way too close to home.

The organization engages parent leaders in developing program strategies and public awareness materials through its Florida Circle of Parents program, to prevent child abuse and neglect through mutual, self-help parent support groups.

Based on shared leadership, mutual respect, and inclusiveness, the free, confidential and non-judgmental groups are open to anyone in a parenting or care-giving role.

There are 54 groups throughout Florida.

Find a Florida Circle of Parents support group in your area.

Priority #1: Safety. Hands down, when it comes to our children. But somehow, we let our guard down in the process of making child care decisions.

Parents of children under the age of 6 are most concerned about safety when choosing child care, according to a recent survey. The report, Parents' Perceptions of Child Care in the United States, highlights other top issues: learning environments with trained child care providers, and cost. Zogby International conducted the telephone poll of 1,004 parents in November for the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The report also revealed that parents assume a lot: that there is governmental oversight to ensure child care safety; that background checks are conducted and employees do get training on child development, CPR, child guidance and discipline, and can recognize signs of child abuse.

Sometimes, we parents are naive, just like our children. We place complete trust and faith in the system, just as our children do us. The report went on to say parents believe that state governments license and inspect all child care programs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The NACCRRA reports that only about half of the states inspect child care settings only once a year or less.

The report details its findings on cost and other child care issues. The NACCRRA provides links, facts and score cards.

If you had been asked - and other than safety – what is your biggest child care concern?

My son’s birth is less than two weeks away, so this request for advice is, I’ll admit, a little late. But maybe not for all our readers.

We picked our hospital based on a number of factors, not the least of which was the likelihood of getting a private room for my wife’s stay. Without a private room, the girls and I can’t stay the night. One hospital we checked couldn’t guarantee it, and was going to charge us extra if we were among the lucky few to get a private room. I’ll say that again: IF we were among the lucky few.

It would be one thing to save up for the private room if we could guarantee we’d get one when the time came, but the hospital actually advised us on how to rush out of the delivery room, down the hall, through the double doors, past Simon, Paula and Randy, up the stairs, around the kitchen and behind the laundry room to let them know we wanted a private room, IF one is available. And after all that, the answer could still be no!

Pardon me, but I’ll have other things on my mind in the minutes after my son’s birth. I can't follow the directions on a box of Lucky Charms. They expect me to remember how to get around that labyrinth in the minutes after my son is born?

We ended up scheduling the birth at a hospital where all the maternity rooms are private.

So here’s my question: What’s the best hospital in South Florida for giving birth? And by what standard? Privacy? Quality of care? Nursing staff? Security? Neonatal ICU? How do you judge?

He’ll be here in a little more than two weeks.

It’s too soon. We’re not ready. The house is a mess. Where will we put him? Where will we put all his stuff?

Breathe. He has to get here first. And we decided early on, after consultation with the obstetrician, that he would get here by a scheduled c-section. So unless he surprises us by showing up early, he’ll be here on Feb. 5. All I have to do is make it through the surgery without fainting. (Actually, I hear that almost never happens, but still).

There’s so much to think about now, and as a first-time biological father, I find it all a bit daunting. My wife will be recovering from the surgery, our kid will be wailing at all hours with no sense of time, our girls (my stepdaughters) will need to be reminded that they are special and loved...

How did humanity ever survive more than one generation?

As far as the c-section goes, I’ve learned in the last year that there are two groups of people who get the most medical advice – the terminally ill and the pregnant. Listen to the advice given by well-meaning people to the terminally ill, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever dies. Listen to the advice given by the same people to the pregnant, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever survives into adulthood.

And the advice is conflicting. One recent report links c-section deliveries to asthma. Yikes. We have our reasons for a planned c-section. Is it the right call? We believe it is – for us, anyway.

I decided a few years ago not to give my daughters the Gardasil vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. I felt and still feel it wasn't tested enough and has too many side effects.

The shot used to be for pre-teen and teenaged girls. But now boys may get a chance to get stuck. Merck is seeking FDA approval for boys ages 9 to 26 to get the vaccination to prevent genital warts.

Merck also wants permission to expand the shot's age range to women as old as 45, even though Gardasil is designed to prevent cervical cancer, not cure it.

Meanwhile, information about negative side effects continues to mount. As one doctor whose oldest daughter was devastated by the shot told CBS News: "As the father of three girls, I've had to ask myself why I let my eldest one get an unproven vaccine against a few strains of a nonlethal virus that can be dealt with in many more effective ways. It's not like they are at high risk. It was the regrettable acceptance of the vaccine party line that [mis]led me."

It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

Our readers appear to be torn over who should be blamed for the sex scandal at Glades Middle School in Miramar.

It's important to note that not all facts on the case have been revealed. Here's what we do know:

Three 7th graders have been suspended and face expulsion for alleged "inappropriate sexual conduct." The school district on Wednesday used the word "perpetrators" to describe the three students (two boys, one girl). A short time later, police issued a news release indicating there were others involved in the case who were described as "victims."

School district spokesman Keith Bromery said Wednesday that two teachers were reassigned as part of the investigation because the behavior is alleged to have occurred in their classrooms.

And that's one part of the story that seems to have parents upset. To put it delicately, what exactly was this "inappropriate sexual conduct," and how could it have taken place in a classroom without a teacher noticing? The more serious the misconduct, the harder it is to believe a teacher didn't notice it.

So how serious was it?

Meanwhile, other readers who are responding to the story think we should be blaming the parents of the three suspended students. Teach them right from wrong, they argue, and we won't be reading about sex in the classroom.

That may be true, but it doesn't account for teenage rebellion. I mean, if Franklin Graham could go through a period of rebellion (despite the efforts of his father -- a preacher named Billy whose name you might recognize), how can anyone automatically blame the parents when teens go astray?

"Not only do kids rebel -- kids need to rebel," said Jaclynn Faffer, chief executive officer of Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca, which runs a hotline for teens who need counseling.

Unfortunately, she said, sometimes teen rebellion can go too far, particularly when parental influence is outweighed by other factors. "Once kids are entering adolescence, peer groups have much more influence than parents," she said. Add to that a pervasive media and the Internet, and the job of keeping kids in line becomes more difficult for even the most involved parents.

Not that Faffer lets parents off the hook: "There is still the reality that parents need to spend time with their kids, talk to them, open a dialogue. And that needs to start at a young age."

Other readers are blaming school administrators, the principal and even the alleged victims, who didn't begin reporting the incidents until last Thursday.

Blame the perpetrators? Blame the victims? Blame the teachers? Blame the parents? Blame the school?

We know the old saying: it takes a village to raise a child. Is the whole village, then, to blame?

I got chills when I read this article this morning: President-elect Barack Obama has vowed not to smoke in the White House.

The incoming president sounds like someone who's not serious about quitting. "I think that you will not see any violations of these rules in the White House," he said.

Coming from a politician, those words leave an awful lot of wiggle room.

I did not see the Meet the Press interview that spurred the flurry of news reports, but I got a feeling of deja vu reading about it. "I've done a terrific job, under the circumstances, of making myself much healthier," he said. And in an interview with Men's Health magazine, he said, "But I figure, seeing as I'm running for president, I need to cut myself a little slack."

I struggled to quit smoking for several years, with varying degrees of failure. Sometimes I failed to quit very quickly. Other times, it took a few weeks for me to fail. But every time I failed, I had the same vocabulary.

"I only smoke when I drink."
"I've only had a few cigarettes over the last few days."
"I didn't have one yesterday, and I won't have one tomorrow. Today I'll slip; it'll be okay."
"Today was too stressful. I had to cut myself some slack."
"This one's nothing. You should see how much I used to smoke!"

Granted, I've never run for President of the United States. But I have run from the truth that I was addicted to nicotine, and I denied that truth using the same words I now see and hear coming from Barack Obama.

Now, I'm not going to be some holier-than-thou ex-smoker demanding that the incoming president succumb to my vision of cardio-pulmorality. If Obama wants to indulge in a legal activity when and where it's allowed, so be it. Plenty of presidents have smoked. Reagan was featured in ads for cigarettes.

Just spare us the lame excuses. I didn't believe them when they came from me, I don't believe them when they come from him, and I pray I never hear them from my kids, who, like it or not, will be looking to the new president as a role model.

Mr. President-elect, you didn't pick up a cigarette because you were running for president and it's stressful. You weren't cutting yourself slack. And there's no such thing as keeping yourself healthy "under the circumstances." You're either keeping yourself healthy or you're voluntarily engaging in legal activity that compromises your health. You pick up a cigarette because you're addicted to nicotine and lack either the ability or the willingness to stop.

So drop the excuses. If you really want to quit, try these words instead: "I quit smoking. I need my friends to keep me on track and honest about it."

I spoke those words on July 11, 2008. Haven't had a cigarette since.

Let's see if we can't get Barack Obama into one of these ads someday soon.

Among the many details that have emerged about the murders of almost 200 people in Mumbai, including Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and his wife, Rivkah, is that two of their children have suffered from Tay-Sachs, a deadly genetic disease.

It's a lipid storage disorder often found among Jews of Eastern European descent. The children become blind and deaf and their muscles atrophy. There is no cure and they die at a young age.

The Holtzbergs had one son who died of the disease and another who is currently being treated for it in an Israeli hospital. Rivkah Holtzberg was pregnant when she was killed. The couple also has a two-year-old son, Moshe, who apparently witnessed the murder of his parents but was rescued by his nanny.

Clearly the couple knew they were carriers, but as Orthodox Jews, they likely believed God commanded them to have many children. It's a devastating dilemma that many of us have to go through to different degrees in our own lives.

There's a Boca Raton-based foundation, the Matthew Forbes Romer Foundation, that assists people with questions about genetic disorders. Click here for more information.

So fevers aren’t to be feared?

I love this kind of stuff -- debunking accepted wisdom. Here’s how “What to Expect: The Toddler Years,” puts it: “It appears that higher body temperatures help the immune system to fight infection and that some microorganisms are unable to thrive at these elevated temperatures.” Even temperatures as high as 106 do no permanent damage, the authors quote scientists as saying. Fevers, they say, are a way for the body to protect itself.

Our 1-year-old has had fever spikes lately, and it’s startling to see those numbers rise above 100. But it’s reassuring to know body reacts on its own to a virus, even if we reach immediately for the Children’s Tylenol. “What to Expect,” for example, goes on to say that fever may lower iron levels, “while increasing the invaders’ need for that mineral – in effect, starving them.” Fascinating. There’s more, so read up.

This seems to be part of a trend. It’s like the rediscovery of the swaddle for babies. Or people realizing the benefits of breast milk over formula. It’s as if we’ve had a collective recognition of “oh, yeah, this stuff is there for a reason.”

This is not an argument to ignore a kid’s temperature (and there are exceptions, such as heat illness, to this). Clearly, there’s something going on the when the numbers rise. But what’s misplaced is the automatic alarm I grew up with about fevers. I always assumed that once a fever hits, then you’re really sick. Turns out the opposite might be true.

It's hard to believe there are still public schools that ask teens to sign pledges that they will be virgins until they get married.

According to a study by Columbia University, 88 percent of teens break these pledges. It's clear these vows are made under pressure and do not work.

At the Open House at our high school last week, I was shocked to hear my daughter's health teacher say she was inviting one of these abstinence programs, called Be The One, into her classroom. And yes, she said when I asked her in an e-mail the next day, they are going to ask the kids to sign the pledge.

The national teen pregnancy rate is going down, but it's not because of abstinence programs funded by the federal government. According to the Guttmacher Institute, the rate is going down because kids are getting more savvy about contraception.

So that is what health classes should be teaching. As for me, I told my daughter she does not have to sign the pledge.

It's easy to quit smoking, the old saying goes. I've done it plenty of times.

I picked up the habit just a few years ago, a byproduct of where I was spending my free time. But when I got married last year, I decided to quit. And I did, for a few weeks. And I picked it up again. And I quit again. And I "secretly" kept going.

Turns out I wasn't kidding anyone. That smell? Yeah, kids smell it too. And they may be polite about it to your face, but they find it disgusting.

The other day we were walking into a restaurant and saw a woman sitting out front, smoking a cigarette. It was downright scary. Her skin was actually gray. I don't know what caused it, but the girls and I looked at each other and knew that the cigarette she was smoking couldn't have helped.

"Remember what you just saw if you ever think of taking up smoking," I said when we were far enough away from the smoker.

"I know," Pax said. "Lucky thing you stopped."

Ouch. She knew. I had kidded myself into thinking that the girls didn't know I had been smoking every day. Just stop in the early afternoon, and by the time you get home, no one will be the wiser, I thought. The girls weren't that dumb, thank you very much.

I really have stopped smoking. Haven't had a cigarette at all since July 11. They say you take it one day at a time, and that's true at first. But after a while, you do stop thinking about it. I don't remember what was "fun" about smoking, but I do know what's fun about being a husband, being a stepfather, anticipating biological fatherhood. To blow that away for the "pleasure" of a puff of smoke? Not me. Not anymore. Too much to live for.