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Category: Health (71)

June 12, 2009

Questioning gender is real mind-bender

What do you say, what do you do, if your child says he or she wants to change their gender?

Chastity.jpgIf it takes a famous person like Chastity Bono to openly go through the process to create dialog, that's great. But not everyone is so lucky to have a built in fan-base, financial reserves, good connections. And not everyone is an independent adult.

Your questioning child still depends on you.

It's a complicated issue for those on the outside looking in.

But "complicated" doesn't even come close to describing the process for the individual going through it. How does he or she even begin to articulate it to others?

Think about this: a female wants to transition to male (F2M). Would that person want to be with females (straight) or other males (gay)? Conversely, would a male, transitioning to female (M2F) want to be with males (straight) or other females (lesbian)?

Is it even that simple? I think not.

Several articles and blogs have discussed one family where the parents are letting their 8-year-old son openly live life as a girl.
Here is one report.

For more insight, read this account of a woman whose son came to her and said "Mom, I need to be a girl."

Lots of organized information is available.

In this post Transproud helps parent navigate the reality that their child just announced they have a gender conflict.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is a voice within the school community to ensure a safe environment to GLBT youth and create open discussion.

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June 2, 2009

Bitten by the summer bug?

Are you getting bugged this summer by insects?

Perhaps, after reading the item posted today by my colleague Brittany Wallman on the virtues of having a dog for a pet - you'll run out and get one this weekend.

So, here are a few things to consider:

If your children are playing outdoors and getting bitten by mosquitoes, chances are the family pet is too.

Mosquitoes, fleas and ticks are right there keeping up with your family on picnics, on walks, at ball games and while doing yard work.

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Barry the Bug Guy at Truly Nolen offers tips on how to keep pets bug-free on The Insect Inquirer.

And yes, I did mention yard work. Here's an idea - a yard work party. Get the kid to invite friends over.

Then announce that before the video games, there are a few things that have to be done outside. (I've never seen kids rake so fast. They haul trash, cut branches and pull weeds at lightening speed.)

After a glass of lemonade, they feel well-paid and happy!

But be sure your kids are protected from insects too! KidsHealth has some pointers on how to handles bites and stings.

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May 27, 2009

Big news for such a tiny being

This is an amazing story.

Wait, this just in: Update - earlier today, there was a report about a newborn about to undergo surgery to remove an undeveloped fetus from its mouth, in Miami. After a news conference, reporters learned it's NOT a twin.

At this point, I am also reframing my post to be more reflective of the new information.

A child was born with a tumor covering the face. Here is the story about the recent surgery and recovery of the now two-month-old child

Our hearts tug at stories about children and families facing challenges.

Operations for any child can overwhelm every family member.

KidsHealth.org provides some guidance of how to prepare your family - and you - for hospital experiences such as visits and surgery

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May 26, 2009

Water safety is your life line

It’s not just a summer thing.

However, any excuse to highlight the dangers of children around water is good enough.

Growing up – my parents had me and all of my siblings on swimming teams when we were very young.
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I passed on my love of water – and my respect for it – making sure my children could each swim before they were five years old.

None of the above guarantees a child’s safety 100 percent.

In fact, a little bit of exposure and a few swimming lessons can create over-confidence.

Parents should never let their guard down with children, around pools, lakes, etc.

Look at some safety tips in this South Florida Parenting article: Keeping baby afloat.

And here is one of our picture galleries. A safety tip accompanies each photo.

And happy swimming, or sailing or water polo!

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April 30, 2009

What should parents with small children do about swine flu?

For those of us with small children something like the swine flu brings another layer of worry.

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How to do you get a 3 1/2 –year-old to protect herself? It means it's time to stress to the kids what are already good hygiene habits.

The U.S. Center for Disease Control say we parents have to set good examples. Teach the kids to wash their hands often and well. Show them how to cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing.

It sounds practical. But then there’s government talk that just doesn’t make sense with small children. The CDC wants us to teach our children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick. And if there’s a swine flu case in South Florida, keep the children away from crowds.

What toddler is even going to know what six feet means? Never mind to stay that far away from another sick child. And how are they supposed to recognize when a playmate may be sick? And are we supposed to keep the kids out of day care? It just doesn’t make sense.

It falls to us parents. And really, we have to depend on the judgment of other parents to keep their sick kids at home.

For now, we have not changed the routine for Ana Isabel or Lucas Emilio, who just turned 1. But if things get worse, it could mean cutting out trips to the playground they so enjoy. No more visits to the children’s museum that Ana asks to go to almost every weekend. We could be spending a lot more times in the backyard with fewer playmates coming over.

As parents we have to be even more vigilant than ever. And worry just that much more.

Here what the CDC's says are the symptoms to keep an eye out for and what to do if your child gets sick.

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April 20, 2009

Happy 420 to my teenage stepdaughter?

Anyone remember this classic (and compelling) anti-drug ad from the 1980s?

Happy 4/20!

In case you don't know it, today is some sort of counterculture holiday. If someone wishes you a Happy 4/20, you've been identified as a marijuana smoker, past, present, future or indifferent.

My 16-year-old stepdaughter got a Happy 420 text message this morning.

What the?

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April 15, 2009

Debbie Wasserman Schultz: Supermom

I keep thinking about Debbie Wasserman Schultz.debwassermanschultz.jpg

She's the Broward congresswoman and mother of three who recently revealed she underwent seven surgeries for breast cancer, including a double mastectomy, without telling almost anyone. She is talking for the first time now to increase awareness of breast cancer among young women (she's 42).

I keep thinking how I would have handled the same situation. Without sounding too overdramatic, I would probably come close to a nervous breakdown. I probably wouldn't be able, physically or emotionally, to work. There would be lots of tears and feeling sorry for myself.

So when I read about her steely resolve, unyielding focus on her congressional duties, how she served as host for a Nancy Pelosi fundraiser nine days after surgery, how her family life has continued as normal, I can't relate. We all cope differently with life's traumas, but I know few people who would be as emotionally unaffected as our congresswoman.

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April 13, 2009

President Obama is stupid (my doctor said so)

It took my wife's pregnancy and my blunt doctor to get me to quit smoking.

obama_smoking.pngMy wife told me the day before Father's Day 2008 that she was expecting our first child. I vowed then that I would stop smoking, that I would stop sneaking around and pretending no one noticed my bad habit. I'd made such promises before. I made that promise before I got married, before I assumed parental responsibilities for my wife's two daughters, now teenagers. Still, I didn't quit. I only smoke when I drank, of course. Except for those few I snuck at work. And on the way to work. And on the way home from work. I thought I was kidding people. I thought people didn't know. And I was lying to myself and everyone around me, and fooling no one. For a cigarette.

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April 9, 2009

Lying to children to get them to eat healthy foods

Don't just hide the junk food. Talk up the superpowers of the carrots.

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Or as my wife does, hide the vegetables; she purees them into a marinara sauce.

This article in Newsweek says a Cornell researcher found that telling kids they're eating "X-ray vision carrots" helped kindergartners eat 50 percent more carrots. The researcher doesn't seem to have a problem with lying to kids in order to get them to eat.

Sounds like an old trick to me. I remember my mother telling me and my friends that eating spinach gave Popeye big muscles. So we should eat our spinach to. That was a lie, too, and it didn't work. It wasn't until I was older that I appreciated a good spinach dish. And I loved Popeye as a kid.

Generations of parents have faced the challenge of trying to get our kids to eat healthy. My guess is that the kids will mimic their parents' habits. So we have tried to be better role models for my daughter, 3 1/2, and son, who turns 1 this month.

Even so, we just don't leave the cookies out on the counter. They're kept out of sight and come out only as a treat.

Also, we offer the kids apples and oranges for snacks or give them broccoli or asparagus with their dinners. A crazy thing happens many times. They just eat it.

I wonder, though, when they don't want their vegetables, should we just lie to our kids? What do you think, is a "healthy" lie OK?

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April 3, 2009

Is child really acting?

At what cost was this child acting? Or was he?

The controversy surrounding this anti smoking ad has brought a great deal of attention to the issue of smoking.

But also it has many questioning if this child was truly acting.

Let's say he was. As the commercial director stated, he was coached. The piece was shot in one take. Is this tremendous acting at such a young age?

How many films and shows have we all watched where the child's emotions move us to tears? Why is this so different?

What's your take?

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April 2, 2009

An oh-so-cute chubby baby could lead to obesity at 3

My daughter Ana Isabel was one of those chunky babies. She weighed 20 pounds at six months.

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If I would've read this story back then, it would have worried me. It basically says that infants who gain weight rapidly in the first months of life have a greater chance of being obese by the time they turn 3. This story is based on a study published in the April issue of Pediatrics, a medical journal.

I'm glad to report Ana, now 3 1/2, is not obese. She weighs about 35 pounds now, which is normal for her age.

Nonetheless, the study goes against the common perception that a heavier baby is a healthier baby. It also comes at a time when many experts worry about childhood obesity.

So now what are we supposed to do now put infants on a diet? What do you think?

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April 1, 2009

Grandparents: Good intentions, bad advice?

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

LeoOlmeda.bmpYes, I tried to explain that giving water to a newborn is not generally a good idea. We talked to our pediatrician about Leo's formula because he seemed to be spitting up a bit. We are following our pediatrician's advice, which brings us back to rejecting my mother's advice.

And then Leo has another hiccup.

He needs water. My mother said so. Water will get rid of his hiccups.

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March 12, 2009

My daughter is allergic to the cat; He has to go

Mac, our gold tabby, was there when I started dating my wife, Carrie Ann. He saw us bring home Ana Isabel and then Lucas Emilio.
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Ana, 3-1/2 years old, loves the cat. We keep close tabs on Lucas when he's near Mac since he's just 10 months old and likes to grab fur.

Mac has always been part of the family. But this week we found out Ana's allergic to him.

A few weeks back, Ana had an emergency visit to the pediatrician when she was having trouble breathing. After two more visits to the doctor and a specialist there's no way around it.

Mac has got to go.

For some time, my daughter has had the classic symptoms of an allergy sufferer. We thought it was a recurring cold. The specialist is now treating her.

The American College of Asthma, Allergies & Immunology has this brochure that gives tips on controlling allergens in the house. We found out we were doing many of the wrong things.

After we get over the parent guilt of having exposed our children to an allergen, we have to deal with finding a new home for a 12-year-old cat. We've posted fliers, hit up Facebook friends and checked with other cat lovers. We'll look at rescue organization as well. But if we can't find the cat a new home, he has go either way. That's the hard part.

Anybody want a warm, lovable lap cat?

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February 26, 2009

Does my toddler have asthma?

My daughter Ana Isabel had a cold last week. She seemed to be getting better but she had this persistent cough. Ana, at three and half, has had these cough before at the tail end of a cold.

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But this was different. From one day to the next, the cough seemed to get worse.

At one point, she was coughing almost nonstop. My wife called the pediatricians' office. They told her they couldn't do anything for a cough. Don't bring her in. Give her cough syrup. We had already done that.

When my wife put Ana in the bath, she gasped for air. "Mommy, I can't breathe," Ana said. It hurts just writing that sentence. Her breaths were shallow and short.

We raced her to the doctor's office. They saw her immediately, examined her, took X-rays and put her on a nebulizer treatment. She improved right away. The color came back to her face.

It's too soon to know if the diagnosis is asthma, the doctors said. But we got the drugs and equipment to treat someone with asthma.

It's common. The American Lung Association says asthma is the leading serious chronic illness in children.
Here's an article about toddlers and asthma.

It runs in the family. So we're not surprised. Still, it's been my scariest parenting episode so far.

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Don't feel good? Tough, you're still going to school

Headache, schmedache - send the kid to school.

Or should you?

There's times we send our 13-year old to school even when he complains of a headache, stomach ache - or might - just might have an ever so slight fever.

I know. That's so cold. KidsHeatlh has some good pointers, tips and advice on the matter.

Still - we don't want him to stop the world just because he isn't feeling 100 percent. And only this week, we actually did let him stay home two days.

After all, how many times do we go to work when we'd rather be home because we feel a little "under the weather?"

So, which is it in your house: pamper him or her with their favorite blankey, hot tea and cozy pillows?

Or like me, pack 'em up and ship 'em out with a pat on the head for encouragement? (Wouldn't want to kiss them in case they're contagious!)

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February 23, 2009

Defying the breast milk mafia

Shh. Don’t tell anyone. We’re feeding Leo formula. I said SHHH!!!!!

Oh, great, it’s out now.

Now I’m going to hear it from the Breast Milk Mafia. At least, that’s what I’ve been told. I have no knowledge that such an organization exists. But something in the back of my head suspects that they do, in the same way that the “Liberal Media” exist. No one will ever admit to being a part of it, and those in it are least likely to recognize it.

bottlefeed.jpgWe did try breastfeeding. It didn’t work. There’s a part of me that’s defensive about it, that wants to explain our efforts and justify our decision to switch to formula. But why? Do we owe someone an explanation? Maybe the lactation consultant who came into my wife’s hospital room those first couple of nights with all those helpful hints and assurances that it would take work but we could do it if we kept trying?

No one wants to be a quitter. No one wants to say “we gave up.” Language like that inadvertently leads to feelings of guilt when the mother, sore and exasperated, looks at you with tears in her eyes because it’s 2 a.m. and the baby’s hungry and that means another round of pain that's becoming more and more unbearable with each feeding.

We switched to formula. The decision was made with tears, followed by relief. Leo slept longer. His weight loss reversed. I can feed the baby. Mom can feed the baby. Big Big Sis and Little Big Sis can feed the baby.

The literature, and the American Academy of Pediatrics, will tell you that “Breast is best.” And they’re right. Who am I to argue? But imagine my pleasure when I read that “Breastfeeding is considered the best nutritional option for babies by the major medical organizations, but it's not right for every mother.” Imagine the pleasure of being able to console my wife, who was bottlefed and who bottlefed her first daughter, that it’s okay to bottlefeed. I was bottlefed.

In fact, shhh, most mothers try breastfeeding in the hospital, but by the time the baby reaches six months of age, only 27 percent are still breastfeeding at all, and just 8 percent are breastfeeding exclusively.

I’m not saying breastfeeding is a bad thing. Quite the opposite. All I'm saying is that women should not feel guilty for opting for formula. The birth of our child has opened a flood of emotions in our household. There's no room for guilt.

To those who manage to breastfeed for a significant amount of time, my wife and I salute you.

For those who chose formula, we’re with you.

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February 13, 2009

Hair - need I say more?

Oh boy!

And I do mean oh, Boy!

It’s about The Kid’s hair. He’s got that grooming thing going on now.spike.jpg And, I must say, he looks pretty dapper!

In the morning getting ready for school, we hear him thinking out loud: “Which gel today? The one that makes them want to run their hands through my hair? Which cologne?" Then we hear humming. Water running, straightening the collar; another quick glance in the mirror – lights off and he’s out the door.

"Bye," he calls out with a smile. He heads to the bus stop, a spring in his step. This is one confident and happy guy.

For those totally overwhelmed and baffled parents and teenagers, KidsHealth offers lots of tips and advice on personal hygiene.

In the meantime, we’re going to have to rearrange a few shelves in the bathroom, to make room for his stuff.

What fashion raves and grooming obsessions is your teen going through?

Please comment

February 11, 2009

Does the child exist who does not need braces?

My first daughter is done with her braces. My second child is about to enter "Phase 2."braces.jpg

I am told Number Three will need braces too. It makes me wonder: Is there a child in America today who does not need braces?

I don't know anyone who has visited an orthodontist for a consultation and been told that their kids' teeth are fine. Every kid needs lots of metal over a course of several years, with some combination of braces, retainer, brackets, rubber bands, spacers, head gear and tooth removal.

I went to the Web site of the American Association of Orthodontists and learned that imperfect teeth are not only unsightly but can cause tooth decay and are more prone to break in an accident.

I don't deny this, but I also can't deny the thousands of dollars it costs for each kid. So I'm wondering: Is there anyone out there who did not have orthodonture and your teeth are fine? And is there a kid out there who went to a South Florida orthodontist for a consultation and was told there was no need to come back?

Please comment

February 10, 2009

Bowlegged baby

Our adorable 15-month-old baby, Rowan, has bowlegs. We were at the pediatrician yesterday for his checkup, and I was warned it will get worse for the next three months. Then again, I shouldn’t say “worse” because, as I’ve learned, there’s nothing wrong with his legs.

Once upon a time, parents were alarmed by this situation. Special shoes, braces -- whatever. But that’s no longer the response. As the Web site “Pregnancy & Baby” explains, a “bent” tibia could be connected to the way the baby was curled up inside the uterus during pregnancy. But that explanation doesn’t convince me. If that were the case, why wouldn’t every baby have bent legs? Rowan is also in the 90th percentile for height and right up there for weight as well, factors I would put my non-MD money on.

Regardless, it is interesting that we’ve dispensed with such draconian responses to normal childhood conditions.

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February 6, 2009

Parents really do make all the difference in the World

I can vouch for the influence parents have over their communities.

When I was way too young to remember, my dad was on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He represented white people pushing for change, he represented his faith as a Presbyterian minister, and ultimately, he simply represented his family.

Recently, one of my brothers found this clip about him from an old 1961 edition of Jet Magazine. He was quoted, “Let me tell you of several incidents when Jesus was caught in the act of sitting-in,” said Henry Warren Kunce. I cannot begin to express my pride!

So it’s not a stretch for me to see the value in National Parent Leadership Month that honors and celebrates parents for the vital roles they fill in their homes and communities.

But, not everyone has the opportunity to take on a mission like the one my dad did.

Still, child%20and%20parents.jpgother issues are just as noble, like Prevent Child Abuse Florida. For many, it’s a cause way too close to home.

The organization engages parent leaders in developing program strategies and public awareness materials through its Florida Circle of Parents program, to prevent child abuse and neglect through mutual, self-help parent support groups.

Based on shared leadership, mutual respect, and inclusiveness, the free, confidential and non-judgmental groups are open to anyone in a parenting or care-giving role.

There are 54 groups throughout Florida.

Find a Florida Circle of Parents support group in your area.

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January 30, 2009

It's about choosing child care, not shopping for shoes

Priority #1: Safety. Hands down, when it comes to our children. But somehow, we let our guard down in the process of making child care decisions.

Parents of children under the age of 6 are most concerned about safety when choosing child care, according to a recent survey. The report, Parents' Perceptions of Child Care j0438799.jpg in the United States, highlights other top issues: learning environments with trained child care providers, and cost. Zogby International conducted the telephone poll of 1,004 parents in November for the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The report also revealed that parents assume a lot: that there is governmental oversight to ensure child care safety; that background checks are conducted and employees do get training on child development, CPR, child guidance and discipline, and can recognize signs of child abuse.

Sometimes, we parents are naive, just like our children. We place complete trust and faith in the system, just as our children do us. The report went on to say parents believe that state governments license and inspect all child care programs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The NACCRRA reports that only about half of the states inspect child care settings only once a year or less.

The report details its findings on cost and other child care issues. The NACCRRA provides links, facts and score cards.

If you had been asked - and other than safety – what is your biggest child care concern?

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January 26, 2009

What's the best hospital in South Florida for giving birth?

My son’s birth is less than two weeks away, so this request for advice is, I’ll admit, a little late. But maybe not for all our readers.

We picked our hospital based on a number of factors,babyward.jpg not the least of which was the likelihood of getting a private room for my wife’s stay. Without a private room, the girls and I can’t stay the night. One hospital we checked couldn’t guarantee it, and was going to charge us extra if we were among the lucky few to get a private room. I’ll say that again: IF we were among the lucky few.

It would be one thing to save up for the private room if we could guarantee we’d get one when the time came, but the hospital actually advised us on how to rush out of the delivery room, down the hall, through the double doors, past Simon, Paula and Randy, up the stairs, around the kitchen and behind the laundry room to let them know we wanted a private room, IF one is available. And after all that, the answer could still be no!

Pardon me, but I’ll have other things on my mind in the minutes after my son’s birth. I can't follow the directions on a box of Lucky Charms. They expect me to remember how to get around that labyrinth in the minutes after my son is born?

We ended up scheduling the birth at a hospital where all the maternity rooms are private.

So here’s my question: What’s the best hospital in South Florida for giving birth? And by what standard? Privacy? Quality of care? Nursing staff? Security? Neonatal ICU? How do you judge?

Please comment

January 20, 2009

She's having a C-section. He's having jitters.

He’ll be here in a little more than two weeks.

It’s too soon. We’re not ready. The house is a mess. Where will we put him? Where will we put all his stuff?

Baby_under_Construc.jpgBreathe. He has to get here first. And we decided early on, after consultation with the obstetrician, that he would get here by a scheduled c-section. So unless he surprises us by showing up early, he’ll be here on Feb. 5. All I have to do is make it through the surgery without fainting. (Actually, I hear that almost never happens, but still).

There’s so much to think about now, and as a first-time biological father, I find it all a bit daunting. My wife will be recovering from the surgery, our kid will be wailing at all hours with no sense of time, our girls (my stepdaughters) will need to be reminded that they are special and loved...

How did humanity ever survive more than one generation?

As far as the c-section goes, I’ve learned in the last year that there are two groups of people who get the most medical advice – the terminally ill and the pregnant. Listen to the advice given by well-meaning people to the terminally ill, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever dies. Listen to the advice given by the same people to the pregnant, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever survives into adulthood.

And the advice is conflicting. One recent report links c-section deliveries to asthma. Yikes. We have our reasons for a planned c-section. Is it the right call? We believe it is – for us, anyway.

Please comment

January 7, 2009

Will boys boycott this vaccine?

I decided a few years ago not to give my daughters the Gardasil vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. I felt and still feel it wasn't tested enough and has too many side effects.vaccination.jpg

The shot used to be for pre-teen and teenaged girls. But now boys may get a chance to get stuck. Merck is seeking FDA approval for boys ages 9 to 26 to get the vaccination to prevent genital warts.

Merck also wants permission to expand the shot's age range to women as old as 45, even though Gardasil is designed to prevent cervical cancer, not cure it.

Meanwhile, information about negative side effects continues to mount. As one doctor whose oldest daughter was devastated by the shot told CBS News: "As the father of three girls, I've had to ask myself why I let my eldest one get an unproven vaccine against a few strains of a nonlethal virus that can be dealt with in many more effective ways. It's not like they are at high risk. It was the regrettable acceptance of the vaccine party line that [mis]led me."

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December 17, 2008

My right to sue if my kids get hurt

It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.bungee.jpg

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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December 11, 2008

Who's to blame for middle school sex scandal?

Our readers appear to be torn over who should be blamed for the sex scandal at Glades Middle School in Miramar.

It's important to note that not all facts on the case have been revealed. Here's what we do know:

Three 7th graders have been suspended and face expulsion for alleged "inappropriate sexual conduct." The school district on Wednesday used the word "perpetrators" to describe the three students (two boys, one girl). A short time later, police issued a news release indicating there were others involved in the case who were described as "victims."

blame%20token.jpgSchool district spokesman Keith Bromery said Wednesday that two teachers were reassigned as part of the investigation because the behavior is alleged to have occurred in their classrooms.

And that's one part of the story that seems to have parents upset. To put it delicately, what exactly was this "inappropriate sexual conduct," and how could it have taken place in a classroom without a teacher noticing? The more serious the misconduct, the harder it is to believe a teacher didn't notice it.

So how serious was it?

Meanwhile, other readers who are responding to the story think we should be blaming the parents of the three suspended students. Teach them right from wrong, they argue, and we won't be reading about sex in the classroom.

That may be true, but it doesn't account for teenage rebellion. I mean, if Franklin Graham could go through a period of rebellion (despite the efforts of his father -- a preacher named Billy whose name you might recognize), how can anyone automatically blame the parents when teens go astray?

"Not only do kids rebel -- kids need to rebel," said Jaclynn Faffer, chief executive officer of Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca, which runs a hotline for teens who need counseling.

Unfortunately, she said, sometimes teen rebellion can go too far, particularly when parental influence is outweighed by other factors. "Once kids are entering adolescence, peer groups have much more influence than parents," she said. Add to that a pervasive media and the Internet, and the job of keeping kids in line becomes more difficult for even the most involved parents.

Not that Faffer lets parents off the hook: "There is still the reality that parents need to spend time with their kids, talk to them, open a dialogue. And that needs to start at a young age."

Other readers are blaming school administrators, the principal and even the alleged victims, who didn't begin reporting the incidents until last Thursday.

Blame the perpetrators? Blame the victims? Blame the teachers? Blame the parents? Blame the school?

We know the old saying: it takes a village to raise a child. Is the whole village, then, to blame?

Please comment

December 8, 2008

Does Obama even want to quit smoking?

I got chills when I read this article this morning: President-elect Barack Obama has vowed not to smoke in the White House.

The incoming president sounds like someone who's not serious about quitting. "I think that you will not see any violations of these rules in the White House," he said.

Coming from a politician, those words leave an awful lot of wiggle room.

obamacig.bmpI did not see the Meet the Press interview that spurred the flurry of news reports, but I got a feeling of deja vu reading about it. "I've done a terrific job, under the circumstances, of making myself much healthier," he said. And in an interview with Men's Health magazine, he said, "But I figure, seeing as I'm running for president, I need to cut myself a little slack."

I struggled to quit smoking for several years, with varying degrees of failure. Sometimes I failed to quit very quickly. Other times, it took a few weeks for me to fail. But every time I failed, I had the same vocabulary.

"I only smoke when I drink."
"I've only had a few cigarettes over the last few days."
"I didn't have one yesterday, and I won't have one tomorrow. Today I'll slip; it'll be okay."
"Today was too stressful. I had to cut myself some slack."
"This one's nothing. You should see how much I used to smoke!"

Granted, I've never run for President of the United States. But I have run from the truth that I was addicted to nicotine, and I denied that truth using the same words I now see and hear coming from Barack Obama.

Now, I'm not going to be some holier-than-thou ex-smoker demanding that the incoming president succumb to my vision of cardio-pulmorality. If Obama wants to indulge in a legal activity when and where it's allowed, so be it. Plenty of presidents have smoked. Reagan was featured in ads for cigarettes.

Just spare us the lame excuses. I didn't believe them when they came from me, I don't believe them when they come from him, and I pray I never hear them from my kids, who, like it or not, will be looking to the new president as a role model.

Mr. President-elect, you didn't pick up a cigarette because you were running for president and it's stressful. You weren't cutting yourself slack. And there's no such thing as keeping yourself healthy "under the circumstances." You're either keeping yourself healthy or you're voluntarily engaging in legal activity that compromises your health. You pick up a cigarette because you're addicted to nicotine and lack either the ability or the willingness to stop.

So drop the excuses. If you really want to quit, try these words instead: "I quit smoking. I need my friends to keep me on track and honest about it."

I spoke those words on July 11, 2008. Haven't had a cigarette since.

Let's see if we can't get Barack Obama into one of these ads someday soon.


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December 3, 2008

The Holtzbergs and their Tay-Sachs babies

Among the many details that have emerged about the murders of almost 200 people in Mumbai, including Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and his wife, Rivkah, is that two of their children have suffered from Tay-Sachs, a deadly genetic disease.holtzberg.jpg

It's a lipid storage disorder often found among Jews of Eastern European descent. The children become blind and deaf and their muscles atrophy. There is no cure and they die at a young age.

The Holtzbergs had one son who died of the disease and another who is currently being treated for it in an Israeli hospital. Rivkah Holtzberg was pregnant when she was killed. The couple also has a two-year-old son, Moshe, who apparently witnessed the murder of his parents but was rescued by his nanny.

Clearly the couple knew they were carriers, but as Orthodox Jews, they likely believed God commanded them to have many children. It's a devastating dilemma that many of us have to go through to different degrees in our own lives.

There's a Boca Raton-based foundation, the Matthew Forbes Romer Foundation, that assists people with questions about genetic disorders. Click here for more information.

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November 26, 2008

Don't fear the fever

So fevers aren’t to be feared?

I love this kind of stuff -- debunking accepted wisdom. Here’s how “What to Expect: The Toddler Years,” puts it: “It appears that higher body temperatures help the immune system to fight infection and that some microorganisms are unable to thrive at these elevated temperatures.” Even temperatures as high as 106 do no permanent damage, the authors quote scientists as saying. Fevers, they say, are a way for the body to protect itself.
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Our 1-year-old has had fever spikes lately, and it’s startling to see those numbers rise above 100. But it’s reassuring to know body reacts on its own to a virus, even if we reach immediately for the Children’s Tylenol. “What to Expect,” for example, goes on to say that fever may lower iron levels, “while increasing the invaders’ need for that mineral – in effect, starving them.” Fascinating. There’s more, so read up.

This seems to be part of a trend. It’s like the rediscovery of the swaddle for babies. Or people realizing the benefits of breast milk over formula. It’s as if we’ve had a collective recognition of “oh, yeah, this stuff is there for a reason.”

This is not an argument to ignore a kid’s temperature (and there are exceptions, such as heat illness, to this). Clearly, there’s something going on the when the numbers rise. But what’s misplaced is the automatic alarm I grew up with about fevers. I always assumed that once a fever hits, then you’re really sick. Turns out the opposite might be true.

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September 24, 2008

My teen will skip the abstinence pledge

It's hard to believe there are still public schools that ask teens to sign pledges that they will be virgins until they get married.

According to a study by Columbia University, 88 percent of teens break these pledges. It's clear these vows are made under pressure and do not work.

At the Open House at our high school last week, I was shocked to hear my daughter's health teacher say she was inviting one of these abstinence programs, called Be The One, into her classroom. And yes, she said when I asked her in an e-mail the next day, they are going to ask the kids to sign the pledge.

The national teen pregnancy rate is going down, but it's not because of abstinence programs funded by the federal government. According to the Guttmacher Institute, the rate is going down because kids are getting more savvy about contraception.

So that is what health classes should be teaching. As for me, I told my daughter she does not have to sign the pledge.

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August 25, 2008

No stepping around my bad habit

It's easy to quit smoking, the old saying goes. I've done it plenty of times.

I picked up the habit just a few years ago, a byproduct of where I was spending my free time. But when I got married last year, I decided to quit. And I did, for a few weeks. And I picked it up again. And I quit again. And I "secretly" kept going.no-smoking-2-circle.jpg

Turns out I wasn't kidding anyone. That smell? Yeah, kids smell it too. And they may be polite about it to your face, but they find it disgusting.

The other day we were walking into a restaurant and saw a woman sitting out front, smoking a cigarette. It was downright scary. Her skin was actually gray. I don't know what caused it, but the girls and I looked at each other and knew that the cigarette she was smoking couldn't have helped.

"Remember what you just saw if you ever think of taking up smoking," I said when we were far enough away from the smoker.

"I know," Pax said. "Lucky thing you stopped."

Ouch. She knew. I had kidded myself into thinking that the girls didn't know I had been smoking every day. Just stop in the early afternoon, and by the time you get home, no one will be the wiser, I thought. The girls weren't that dumb, thank you very much.

I really have stopped smoking. Haven't had a cigarette at all since July 11. They say you take it one day at a time, and that's true at first. But after a while, you do stop thinking about it. I don't remember what was "fun" about smoking, but I do know what's fun about being a husband, being a stepfather, anticipating biological fatherhood. To blow that away for the "pleasure" of a puff of smoke? Not me. Not anymore. Too much to live for.

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August 20, 2008

Should the drinking age go back to 18?

Some college presidents believe 18-year-olds are mature enough to make rational decisions about how much to drink.beerbong.jpg

More than 100 have lent their support to the Amethyst Initiative, which theorizes that the drinking age just encourages those under 21 to binge and break the law with their fake IDs. If 18-year-olds can vote, enlist in the military and serve on juries, they say, why can't they order at a bar?

Some big-name universities have signed on, including the presidents of Dartmouth, Duke, Ohio State, University of Maryland and Syracuse.

Do you think the drinking age should go down to 18? Or do you think the higher age prevents car accidents and stupid decisions?

Please comment

July 30, 2008

Do cell phones affect kids' developing brains?

I was accepting the fact that my 11-year-old will get her first cell phone in the next year or so, but a new warning is giving me pause.teencell.jpg

The director of the University of Pittsburgh's Cancer Institute, Dr. Ronald B. Herberman, told his staff last week they should limit their cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer. He said children should only use cell phones for emergencies because the phones' electromagnetic radiation could affect their developing brains.

Although lots of studies have shown no link between cell phones and cancer, cell phones have not been around long enough to study their long-term effects. I have a feeling we aren't going to like what we hear 20 years from now about these toys that have become so important to us.

But it's also become almost impossible to raise a kid today without giving them a cell phone. Even if you tell them not to use it too often and to use a headset, they are going to do what they want when you're not nearby.

What kind of limits have you placed on your kids' cell phone use?

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July 2, 2008

A house divided on the doctor's visit

My wife, Shola, and I see doctors differently. I avoid them; she sees them as a resource. To me, it’s a challenge to stay out of the doctor’s office; she sees a doctor's visit as a faster route to good health. Neither is wrong, but they inevitably conflict when it comes to parenting – as they did this week.
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Rowan, our 7-month-old, gets sick regularly. He has bronchiolitis, and the pediatrician says he’ll get sick on and off until he’s 2. The tricky thing is to figure out when his routine illness is turning into something else. And this week Alexander, who’s 2, got a double ear infection. Then Rowan started pulling on his ear. And just to make matters more complicated, Rowan is teething. So the question arose: should Rowan visit the doctor?

I said no. My reason wasn’t medical. I was falling back on my hardy Midwest upbringing. I’m sure I went to a pediatrician as a kid, but I have no memory of it. Heck, I wonder if our “gentleman’s farm” in Central Illinois even had heat. So I protested that Rowan didn’t need to see the doctor, and cited the evidence from my childhood. Yes, Shola responded, “that’s why you can’t hear now.” Fair point, I thought: I do like the TV much louder than she. So I relented, given that winning this argument essentially involved putting our child at risk.

So I took Rowan to the pediatrician, which thankfully did not take all morning. She checked him and pronounced ears “perfect.” He was sick, but in the familiar way. So I enjoyed a moment of pride – we didn’t need a doctor after all! (This reaction, of course, is nothing to be proud of.) But then the pediatrician offered this line: “It’s hard to tell when his congestion gets more serious, so you were right to bring him in.” Ah, so close to victory!

Later that day, as I gave Rowan a bottle, something else happened. He pulled at his ears.

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June 6, 2008

'Dry drowning': Hidden danger of swimming

Dry drowning. Ever heard of it?

I hadn't until my brother passed along the following link. A 10-year-old from South Carolina died this week, more than hour after he had gone swimming.

Apparently, during his day at the pool, water accumulated in his lungs. He walked home with his mother, talking normally, and then went to bed because he felt very tired. He never woke up.

About 3,600 Americans died from drowning in 2005, according to the latest figures by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). An estimated 10-15 percent of those were classified as "dry drowning," in which death occurs up to 24 hours later because of water entering the respiratory system.

As the summer swimming season kicks off with the end of school this week, I'm keeping this story top of mind. My hope is to teach my 3-year-old to swim this summer.

Any tips on good private instructors or classes for pre-schoolers?

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June 4, 2008

What to do when a five-week catches a cold?

My almost three-old-year old daughter, Ana Isabel, caught a cold at Mommy and Me. And she brought it home, promptly sharing it with her little brother, Lucas Emilio, who is five weeks old.

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Not exactly the kind of sharing we would like. Nonetheless, we never had to deal with a sick Ana at this age since she didn't have other little children brining home germs.

Lucas mostly sounds congested and he makes a lot of noises when he sleeps. Before this came on, he was sleeping in three and four hour stretches, which was great for a kid his age. Not any more.

We have a suction bulb that we use to clear his nose. And we prop up his body so the mucus can drain when he sleeps. I know some say a humidifier can help loosen up the congestion.

But is there anything else that we can do to deal with a cold in baby at this age? I know drugs are out. A tired and sleep papa would welcome any suggestions.

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May 1, 2008

Albuterol? What's that?

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We have a new member of the household: a nebulizer. It arrived a couple of weeks ago after our baby, Rowan, got bronchiolitis.

He takes his medicine, albuterol, two or three times a day through the nebulizer, which allows him to breathe it through a mist.

Our 2-year-old, Alexander, was at first scared by the apparatus, but now finds the chicken design on the mask funny and announces that it’s time for “Rowan’s medicine” when he hears the machine’s loud humming kick on.

Bronchioloitis appears among babies at day care, which Rowan started at 3 months. But I’m curious about other people’s experience with albuterol. Rowan seems to be OK with taking it, but I doubt that will last. I gather that bronchioloitis can last up to age 2. Our good friends talked about getting to the point of having to hold their daughter down in order to use the nebulizer.

Have people found it worked? What’s been your experience? Any side effects from the medicine?

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April 18, 2008

Mommy wants a nose job: New children's book tries to explain plastic surgery

Just in time for Mother’s Day, a Bal Harbour plastic surgeon is releasing a new children’s book: “My Beautiful Mommy.”

The illustrated book helps walk little kids through understanding why Mommy wants that tummy tuck, breast augmentation or nose job.

“But you’re already the prettiest Mommy in the whole wide world!” reads an excerpt from the book by Dr. Michael Salzhauer posted on Newsweek's Web site.

No matter. Mommy doesn’t feel that way.

I’m doing my best not to pass judgment. (I’ll leave that to all of you transPARENT readers and those of the parenting bloggers at our sister newspaper, Orlando Sentinel.) Not my job.

Let me just say I’m happy I have a son. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a young girl to deal with a Mom who is struggling with body image issues.

Believe me, I have my share of those. But my son is more interested in cars and robots than whether Mommy is upset that she still can’t get into her pre-pregnancy jeans. I have often thought about how mindful I would have to be about making seemingly innocuous comments (“Do I look fat in this outfit? I look pregnant!”) if I had a daughter.

For all you mothers of daughters out there: How have you handled the issue of body image? Any inadvertent missteps?

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April 10, 2008

Can feeding my family get any more complicated?

Our 16-year-old daughter, a vegetarian, has recently read the book The Omnivores Dilemma, by Michael Pollan.
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This New York Times bestseller opened her eyes to food additives, including high fructose corn syrup, MSG, hydrogenated oils, artificial colors, flavors and sweeteners. Pollan, a science and food writer who has conducted tremendous research into where our food comes from, suggests a mantra we should all live by: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

By food, he means food that would be recognizable to your great-great grandparents in the 19th century. Food that comes from real plants and animals that are fed what nature intended for them to eat.

Abby vowed on Easter Sunday that she would no longer eat any bad food additives. Her chocolate bunny remains unopened. She printed a list for my reference from the Center for Science in the Public Interest, a group of liberal, activist scientists concerned about our food supply .

Meanwhile, daughter No. 2, who will eat meat and has no compunctions regarding high-fructose, multicolored “food,” gets insanely painful migraines of unknown source. The neurologist’s recommendation: No food additives. No peanuts. No chocolate. No caffeine. No hard cheeses.

And my husband has slightly elevated blood pressure, so low-sodium for him.

I challenge you to walk in my shoes for just one trip to the grocery store. Try reading the labels on everything you buy. High fructose corn syrup is everywhere: In crackers. In jelly. In waffles and cereal. In strawberry cream cheese. Artificial sweeteners are in almost anything labeled “low” or “no” sugar. MSG is in packaged soups, taco seasoning, salad dressings and lots of mixed spices. You’ll see long lists of things that turn out to be benign vitamins in bread, but then there’s BHA or BHT. There are sulfites in bacon, sausage and frozen turkey and chicken products.

Sodium is loaded into soups, canned vegetables and almost every prepared food. Cold cuts have all kinds of complicated-sounding preservatives. Tuna has traces of toxic metals such as mercury which might trigger migraines.

Do you know how hard it is in the 21st century to sustain yourself on a 19th-century diet?
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We’re managing so far. But even with the no-additives diet, our younger daughter has been sidelined with a migraine for the past two days.

I guess I really am going to have to take that no-peanuts edict seriously. But what do you put in a lunchbox for a kid who cannot eat cheese, peanut butter, cold cuts or tuna?

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April 9, 2008

The great shoe debate

Ana Isabel is two and half and hates shoes.

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It doesn't help that my wife, who is nine months pregnant, often has swollen ankles and feet at this point. So she often ends up either barefoot or putting on sandals.

I'm the one always insisting that Ana put on her slippers or shoes. And it's not just about dirty feet either.

The other day Ana was walking with a noticeable limp. She favored her right leg.

Of course, I feared the worst. I worry that her bare feet hitting the cold, hard tiles in the house could have a detrimental effect on their development. I know that when I walk barefoot for too long, it hurts my feet.

We later realized that when Ana slipped trying to climb onto our bed in the morning she banged her ankle against the bed frame. It swelled for two days, but it's better now.

Still, it seems to me that Ana sometimes has a misstep in her walk.

Am I crazy or is it only natural for a toddler to reject the restrictions of footwear? Should papa stop being a fuddy duddy and just let Ana run wild bare foot?


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March 5, 2008

Vomit, barf, puke, hurl

Lily, our kindergartner, had her first experience with vomit this week. Of course she has thrown up before, but not that she remembers.
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"That's disgusting!'' she wailed while crying and looking down at her macaroni-and-cheese pile on the bathroom rug. (Apparently she did not chew her food, because the noodles were intact.)

She didn't even know to throw up into the toilet.

"Use the toilet!'' Bob urged.

She pulled her pants down and sat on the toilet.

"Do you have to go the bathroom?'' I asked. "No,'' she said.

I guess it's not a human instinct to regurgitate into the toilet. One has to learn these things.

Every time she threw up she cried in shock and horror as if she'd never heard of, seen or imagined one's dinner from the night before suddenly flying out of one's mouth, mixed with bile and acids.

All this provoked an interesting discussion about what terminology should be used to describe the act of blowing chunks. I told her it was called barf. Bob objected to this.

"It's puke,'' Lily told us.

I think that word is even grosser.

Vomit might very well be the word in the English language with the most synonyms. Here are a few:
upchuck
barf
vomit
hurl
ralph
purge
puke
hork
buick
spew
regurgitate
throw up
toss your cookies
lose your lunch
toss a sidewalk pizza
tango with the toilet
make modern art in the toilet
have a technicolor yawn
expunge the contents of your stomach
bare your guts to the world
become a multicolored organic fountain
revisit your breakfast
vomit your victuals
drive the porcelain bus
perform peristaltic pyrotechnics
paint the town red.. and green and orange and pink
have to say "that tasted better going down than coming up"
burp to the ninth power
make the janitor get out the ol’ sawdust bucket
find out just how acidic your stomach contents are
greet your guts
pray to the porcelain god

Those are from the Urban Dictionary.

Also, I believe that if you asked most parents, the only vomit they would ever consider touching in this world would be their own kids'. It's just one of those disgusting things you get used to doing when you have kids. Am I wrong?

Please comment

February 26, 2008

A little boy who became a little girl

Two weeks ago, a mother told the Broward County Commission that when her son was two, he started acting like a girl. The child is 7 now, and they've been raising him as a daughter.

The mom showed a photo, and said her child was diagnosed with a gender disorder at age 3.bluepinkdoor.jpg

She was speaking about this because the county was passing a law giving protection against discrimination to transgender people.

I am really torn by this. My heart bleeds for this little child. But I can't help but think a parent should not make a decision that profound when the child is that young.

I don't know much about gender disorders, and I would imagine there's a lot of debate out there in the medical world about it. It just seems possible that the little boy was just playing around. I know I had a very long tomboy phase where I refused to wear skirts or dresses and hated girly stuff. I even had a pair of very boyish shoes I was quite proud of. Nothing with a pointed toe was coming near me.

Thank God my mother did not decide to take me to a therapist -- no telling what I would have said in there.

I know a little boy who wears his sisters' dresses. I'll bet it's not uncommon. Maybe if his mom fed that desire, he'd become even more girly. I don't know. Maybe I'm exhibiting the ignorance of the masses on this. I know they say the suicide rate for transgender kids is really high. Maybe it's because they're forced to remain a gender they don't want to be.

When this kid the County Commission was told about was two and the mom would say, "good boy,'' he would respond with "no, mommy, good girl!'' Then he started wanting to leave the house with a wig on. He stole his mom's makeup, he wanted his fingernails painted every day.

I just don't know what to think about this, except to be heartbroken.

To summarize the debate on this: Is your true self in your body, or in your mind? And even if it's in your mind, is the mind of a 3-year-old capable of knowing what it ultimately wants to be?

Keep reading for the full text of her testimony. It's captivating, really.

And here is a website with more information:

Family Acceptance Project

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Continue reading "A little boy who became a little girl" »

February 6, 2008

Time to throw out more cosmetics...

Now there's another chemical we have to worry about in shampoos and packaging, a yucky sounding stabilizer called phthalates.phthalate3.jpg

A new study shows more than 80 percent of infants have been exposed to phthalates (pronounced THA-lates), which have been linked with male reproductive problems. Phthalates are also found in cosmetics, children's toys, vinyl flooring and food packaging.

I don't have boys, but I am confident that anything connected with reproductive problems in one sex applies to us all. And I know the FDA "has no compelling evidence that phthalates pose a safety risk when used in cosmetics," according to one of their spokesmen, but I am not going to wait 10 years for them to announce that yes, it was true.

A couple of weeks ago, I went through all the shampoos and lotions in our house looking for parabens, which some studies have linked with breast cancer. Now I am going to scan the microscopic ingredient lists to look for phthalates, which are labeled DEP and DEHP, when they are labeled at all.

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February 1, 2008

Poison scare with pet is a scary reminder about childproofing

We rid our house this week of yogurt-covered raisins.

The seemingly benign snack, an on-and-off favorite of my three-year-old son’s, almost killed our beagle, Chico.

Late one night this week, Chico managed to get into my son’s diaper bag, pull out a sealed Ziploc bag of yogurt raisins and chew a hole through it. When my husband stumbled upon him feasting on top of our bed, it was hard to tell if Chico had eaten two or twenty.

What happened next could be best described as pet pandemonium: My husband panicked, remembering a passing conversation with a friend years ago that raisins, grapes and chocolate can be toxic for dogs. He searched the Internet and read that as little as seven raisins can be lethal.

We had to do something. Little did I know it would involve making my dog throw up (by giving him 3 tablespoons of hydrogen peroxide) and sifting through the vomit to count just how many raisins he may have eaten. Those were the instructions of the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center, which, by the way, also charged my credit card $60 for the advice.

The final score for the three-hour ordeal: 49 raisins! (Beagles are known for their insatiable appetite.)

The next morning we took Chico to the vet to run some tests to make sure he wasn’t showing signs of renal failure. They came back clean.

We dodged a bullet on this one. Our dog is a member of our family, my son’s brother, as he calls him. But the scare served as a good wake-up call: We’re re-checking our childproof locks and making sure the cabinets are kept securely closed.

And we’ve said goodbye to yogurt raisins.

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January 21, 2008

Dentist visit causes mixed feelings about fluoridated water

My three-year-old son had his first dental check-up today – and he was a champ. It didn’t hurt that the office was decked out in safari décor, with bamboo-framed flat-screen TVs blasting Disney favorites like Monsters Inc. and Ratatouille.

Oh, and did I mention the three videogame stations?

What I loved best of all was the way the hygienist and dentist talked to my son. They explained every tool, prefaced every action with a gentle warning, and let him participate by holding the suction device. He even agreed to wear sunglasses to keep the bright light from hurting his eyes. (If you knew my son, you’d know that he’d rather do just about anything than wear 1) a hat 2) sunglasses 3) stickers.)

Despite the smooth visit, I left the office with some homework: Regularly floss my son’s teeth and give him fluoridated water to drink. I’m on board with the flossing. But I have mixed feelings about the extra fluoride. I figured fluoride in toothpaste was enough.

How did you handle the fluoride issue with your kids?

Please comment

December 18, 2007

Low blood sugar or nervous breakdown?

The only thing worse than dealing with your child's complete and utter emotional meltdown is doing so while trapped in a car on a roadtrip.crying.jpg

Which is what happened to us this weekend.

Over the years, I've come to realize that when a child's mood suddenly alters for no good reason, oftentimes there's a physical cause.

I've talked to Lily's pediatrician and he agreed that she probably has low blood sugar, or hypoglycemia.

I wish I'd known this when she was an infant, because she really showed signs of it back then. Basically, if she misses a meal, she loses her mind. Her blood sugar drops too low, and she cries uncontrollably.

As an infant, that meant if she didn't get fed before she was really hungry, she no longer wanted a bottle. She just wanted to scream at the top of her lungs for a half hour.

Now, it means if she gets over-hungry and -- even worse -- consumes candy on an empty stomach, she has a nervous breakdown until we can force a peanut butter cracker down her throat.

Here are the symptoms I found on a health website (I'll put the pertinent one in bold):
Shakiness, dizziness, sweating, hunger, headache, irritability, pale skin color, sudden moodiness or behavior changes, such as crying for no apparent reason, clumsy or jerky movements, difficulty paying attention, or confusion, tingling sensations around the mouth.

It's sad to watch, really. This time Lily started sobbing in the back seat during our drive tobody.jpg
Jacksonville. And once she gets on a crying jag with low blood sugar, she can't stop. And life seems miserable.

"I don't want to be in this family,'' she sobbed. "I'm going to live in the woods!''

She's only 5. I don't think living in the woods is an option in Broward County, anyway. There are no woods.

"This is the worst day of my life,'' she cried.

"Ditto,'' we were thinking.

I always carry my handy dandy peanut butter crackers, since I finally figured out what was going on. And we made her eat one, and sure enough, her half-hour dismal state of emotion was over.

I doubt there are any parenting counselors who would advise that when your child starts crying for no reason, you say, "Here, eat! You'll feel better!''

But in this case it works.

There are plenty of websites where the problem of hypoglycemia is discussed.

I learned that a symptom of a hypoglycemic episode during the night is nightmares. Lily has those on a regular basis.

I always ask her what she was dreaming. The other night she told me her nightmare was this: a bad guy was trying to hit her with a pillow.

Ahhh, to be a child.

Here's one of the stranger 'triggers' I ran across on the Web:

"If an older child drinks alcohol on an empty stomach.''

Ummmm, OK.

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December 5, 2007

Goodbye, cancer-causing shampoos

I spent a few hours this weekend reading the labels on our shampoos, conditioners, deodorants, moisturizers and other cosmetics and throwing many of them in the garbage.shampoo.jpg

I was looking for an ingredient called "parabens" that a friend told me have been linked to breast cancer. And most of them did contain parabens, with terms like "methylparaben," "propylbaraben" and "benzylparaben" in microscopic print.

According to the Breast Cancer Fund, parabens interact with estrogens and accumulate over a lifetime. Here's a scary statement from their Web site about parabens in antiperspirants: “Frequency and earlier onset of antiperspirant/deodorant usage with underarm shaving were associated with an earlier age of breast cancer diagnosis.”

It looks like it shouldn't be too hard to find shampoos without parabens; I only had to toss a few of those from our house. But all our sunscreens had them. I may have to make a special trip to the cosmetic section of Whole Foods when the weather gets hot again.

Please comment

November 8, 2007

Cartoon violence isn't a laughing matter

Another day, another new study on TV and toddlers.

The latest released this week found that children under 3 who watched shows that involved violence –- even the seemingly harmless “bonk” on the head in Tom and Jerry –- were more likely to develop attention problems five years later.

The researchers at the University of Washington found that educational shows, such as Sesame Street, had no correlation with future attention problems.

Doesn’t seem all that surprising. But it’s nice that researchers are finally acknowledging the difference between TV shows, as opposed to simply saying all TV is bad.

What shows are off limits in your household?

Please comment

October 23, 2007

Flu shot ingredient concerns parents

My son recently had his three-year check-up. And, as usual, the doctor asked whether I wanted to give him a flu shot. I had fully expected to do so, until I asked whether the flu shot contained the ingredient thimerosal, a form of mercury used in small amounts as a preservative in many flu vaccines.


It did, so I turned down the shot. And now I’m feeling guilty about it as I search for other places where I can give my son a thimerosol-free flu shot, which he had received the past two years with other doctors.

Aside from typical jitters of injecting mercury into my son’s veins, there’s the larger concern that has been raised in recent years: Some researchers and patient advocacy groups have charged there is a possible link between thimerosal and autism. As a precaution, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the U.S. Public Health Service in the late 1990s agreed that vaccines given to children should be thimerosal-free (or have only traces of it).

The only exception? The flu vaccine.

Some say the possible benefits of getting a flu shot (even one with thimerosal) outweighs the possible negatives. But I’m not so sure.

Just because the ingredient hasn’t been deemed “unsafe” is not reason enough for me to expose my son to it. It reminds me of the recent controversy over cold and cough medicine for young children: The medicine hasn’t been labeled “unsafe,” but that didn’t stop drug makers from pulling certain brands from store shelves until further study.

So tell me: Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

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October 12, 2007

14 darned good water-safety tips

While writing a story about Jazmyne Robinson, a Pembroke Pines girl who called 9-1-1 after her brother went unconscious in the family pool, I asked the Baby Otter Swim School to give me a water-safety checklist.

They caution (correctly) that nothing makes a pool completely safe, but they sure provided a heck of a list, perhaps the most complete I've seen. Here are their "layers of protection":

1.) Parental supervision
2.) 4- to 5- foot fence around pool and a closing gate
3.) Fence around yard
4.) Telephone by pool for emergency use only - call 911
5.) Proper safety equipment near pool - a "Shepherd's hook." You never want to jump into the water to make a rescue because you can become a victim as well.
6.) Pool water level as high as possible so edge of pool can be reached by small child
7.) Alarm chime on exit doors to pool area
8.) Know CPR
9.) Swimming lessons
10.) Know how to turn off pool pump if swimmer gets caught in drain.
11.) Proper drain cover
12.) Remove all toys or rafts in pool when finished swimming.
13.) Cover for spa
14.) Teach safe pool rules to your children.


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October 3, 2007

I'm done with useless cough medicines

I noticed a long time ago that after giving my kids cough medicine, their coughs were unchanged.
cough.jpg

I wondered what was in these concoctions that they had absolutely no effect. Now I see I wasn't imagining this.

A Food and Drug Administration panel has proposed banning these medicines for kids under age 6 because of health risks and little proof that they work. And they apparently don't work for adults either. The American College of Chest Physicians recommended last year that people with coughs take antihistamines instead of cough syrups.

The most difficult part of all this is what to do with a kid who's coughing. You feel so bad for them and want to help them. My kids want me to do SOMETHING if they're sick, even if it means giving them these placebo medicines.

Will you give up cough syrups now? Or do you think they really work?

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October 2, 2007

Spoiled brats and their straight teeth

If 40 percent of Creed's schoolmates are on free or reduced lunch, then why do they all have cell phones and braces?

As some of you know from earlier posts, we gave in to the pressure and bought Creed a cell phone this summer when he turned 12. I've resisted his begging to improve his "plan,' and I put only $15 on this pre-paid phone every month. That doesn't allow him enough minutes to actually use the thing for phone calls. Which is fine!

So I hear a lot about "everyone'' having better cell phones and cell phone plans than he does. He said that in comparison to his peers, he is "low-tech.''

braces.jpgNow I come to find out that the other "right'' he and his peers think they have is to get braces. You know, orthodontics. The thing that only the rich kids had when I was little. The thing my parents said we could not afford, and thus, I did not get.

I took Creed to the orthodontist yesterday, and of course they suggested he wear them for 18 months for the low price of $2,400.

This was no surprise. If I drove a new car to a car lot, I would assume the car salesman would come up with a reason for me to buy another new car.

No different at the braces factory. Creed's teeth aren't even crooked, but the guy pointed out that his least straight teeth are the ones that show the most! Gads!

I was wearing my new "Don't Tase Me, Bro,'' t-shirt, and the orthodontist laughed but then admitted he didn't get it. Then when he saw that Creed also had a t-shirt, he said, "oh, so you're a t-shirt family?'

Yeah, we're a t-shirt family. WHATEVER!!

Then he told Creed that his face is pretty and he could pass for a girl. Then he asked why in the world we call him "Creed.'' What kind of nickname is THAT?, he asked.

It's his middle name.

We'll probably go ahead and let Creed get braces. But first I had to tell him that he and his peers at Seminole Middle School, if they indeed 'all have braces,' are just a bunch of spoiled American brats who apaprently cannot afford to pay for lunch but are entitled to have perfectly symmetrical teeth.

"Do you think that in Third World countries, the children are running around saying, 'I need braces so I can have a perfect smile?' '' I asked Creed last night on the way home. "No, they're saying, 'I'm starving. I haven't eaten in two days! I need food!'' I told him.

"Is this a Third World country?'' Creed asked.

"No, but even in this country, poor kids don't get the privilege of braces.''

"Are we poor?''

"No! But I want you to know that you don't have a right to braces. You're only getting them because you're a spoiled American brat.''

That was good enough for him.

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September 21, 2007

School booster shots a real pain for mom

By Cindy Kent
Sun-Sentinel Staff Writer

Raise your hands if you've heard this one before: "Haste makes waste."

I'm here to tell you, as time-starved parents, there is always an opportunity to learn the lesson again. Such as when my son brought me a request from his school this week to have him get a booster shot.

Though he was given the note this week, it was dated a week earlier and the deadline was just two days away. Someone in the school office dropped the ball and had a bad day -- and passed it onto us parents.

My son suggested we go to our family doctor. Since moving to Fort Lauderdale, we have chosen to retain our beloved family doctor, located deep, deep in South Miami. But, wishing to move things along quickly, I decided we'd go to a nearby walk-in clinic.

We waited in a line for about 20 minutes, just to get information on what information I would need to provide in order to get my son a booster shot that day. I should have known that was a bad start.

Long story short, after a nearly three-hour wait we were informed that booster shots were scheduled a week in advance. A walk-in clinic that requires appointments?

Stunned, we left the clinic only to encounter a parking ticket on the car. (What's more, we couldn't find any indication that we parked in a no-parking zone.)

That pretty much set me off. Tom advised me that maybe I should not drive while so angry. "Road rage is a number one reason for accidents," he said. He was right, and I calmed down. We called our family doctor, who was wonderfully accommodating. The 50-mile drive was well worth it.

My timesaving efforts resulted in Tom missing a day of school and me nearly a day of work. I said to Tom, that with more time, I might have planned better -- arranging to see our doctor in the first place.

Tom replied with this bit of wisdom: "No, Mom. You probably would have tried the clinic first anyway because you won't have known what you know now."

Cindy Kent is a Fort Lauderdale mother of three.

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September 19, 2007

Crocs under fire for injuries to little feet

My son is, what we like to call at home, a “Tonka” kid. He’s rough and tumble like those toy trucks. He has a growing collection of scrapes and bruises on his legs and elbows. He falls. He gets up. He falls again. He gets up.

So I wasn’t too worried when I bought him a pair of rubber shoes earlier this year and he stumbled after putting them on. Big deal. He’s not even three years old yet. But then he began to stumble more than usual. He even cut his lip with a bad fall to the cement after barely taking two steps.

Now I realize my son got off easy.

News began circulating this week about an unusual connection between young children wearing those rubber shoes – many of them Crocs or imitations – and accidents at escalators. A Sun-Sentinel story today reports that the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport is considering whether it should put up caution signs to protect pedestrians. The Metro subway system in Washington, D.C. this summer already began doing so, even going so far as to picture a crocodile on the signs.

I spoke with one Delray Beach mother this week whose Crocs-wearing four-year-old son had a near-tragic accident on the escalator at the Fort Lauderdale airport last month.

“He came very close to losing his small toes,” said Micki Salvato, whose son was rushed to Broward General Medical Center and received 24 stiches on his little foot.

If nothing else, the recent spate of accidents should remind parents the value of good, ol' fashion sneakers for young kids who, lets face it, are usually too busy jumping around to avoid, say, walking into a wall. (OK, I’m speaking for my son and all the other clumsy kids of the world.)

After dealing with more than his share of falls, my son now regularly wears sneakers that give him plenty of ankle support – and have dramatically cut down on his spills. Not enough, of course, to get rid of his body art of bruises and scrapes.

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September 12, 2007

Plastic and kids: A dangerous mix?

Each night as I prepare my son’s lunch for pre-school the next day, I write a little note that I tape onto the Tupperware: “Please heat and serve on a paper plate.”

I cram a folded paper plate into his tiny lunch box and hope his teachers don’t think I’m off my rocker for being so particular. My worry stems from renewed concerns about chemicals used in many plastic baby containers, including sippy cups, bottles and bowls. Some studies have raised the question: Are plastics safe?

Two recent stories in the Sun-Sentinel and Los Angeles Times laid out the issues well enough for me to feel justified in being extra cautious about how my son’s food is stored and prepared. As always, the studies are not definitive and are open to interpretation, leaving parents and doctors to discern what they’re comfortable with.

Of course, I only came to learn about the leaching of chemicals from certain plastics AFTER my son was weaned off the bottle. I spent a year nuking those plastic baby bottles in a microwave, inside a contraption that was specifically designed to sterilize them. Sure, I protected my son from food-borne bacteria, but I also may have exposed him to harmful chemicals. Talk about mother's guilt.

What's your take on plastics?

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September 5, 2007

Another toy recall? What's a mother to do?

All I can say is thank goodness my girls have outgrown Barbie and Polly Pocket, because I would be in a major fury over this latest Mattel recall if they were still young enough to play with those toys.

CHINA%20TOY%20RECALL.jpg"How many little kids are going to understand that?" my daughter Beth said. "They're just going to think you're mean to take away all their toys. They're going to wonder what they did wrong."

You can't let children play with lead-tainted toys. Young children are most vulnerable, because their brains and nervous system are still being formed. According to the National Safety Council, "even very low levels of exposure can result in reduced IQ, learning disabilities, attention deficit disorders, behavioral problems, stunted growth, impaired hearing, and kidney damage."

No Barbie accessory -- and no toddler tantrum -- is worth that. But it has to be a delicate matter to collect and dispose of toys that your child enjoys. Beth is right. It's not going to be easy to explain to a 3-year-old why she can't play with her Barbie Dream Puppy House or her Barbie kitchen chairs. Sure, it's going to feel like a punishment even though she did nothing wrong. And it's not like you can just go out and get something new -- although some parents will. Not every family is going to have money to replace the bad toys.

I'd love to hear how you're all handling this. What works? What doesn't?

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Her first period... at age 10!

My friend's daughter just got her period. She's only 10, and my friend is very upset.

I am hearing more and more about girls getting their periods at younger and younger ages. Nine is the youngest I've heard of, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are cases of much younger ages.

I keep wondering what the reasons are. Do we feed our girls better than we did 100 years ago, and does this make them mature earlier? Are there hormones in foods and other products, like shampoo and plastic, that are making them absorb more estrogen into their bodies?

This can't bode well for their futures, because we all know too many hormones are connected to cancers, for both boys and girls. Do you have any theories on this early-menstruation trend?

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August 31, 2007

Saying farewell to baby teeth

By Cindy Kent
Sun-Sentinel Staff Writer

My youngest son lost his last baby tooth this week. Before I could even process it, Tom said, "Mom, this is special."

Wow. It really is.

When talking about growing our professional skills, we might say, "We cut our teeth on the family business." The silly song with the lyrics, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth..." brings a smile and a giggle to every generation. A child's first trip to the dentist provides that dreaded -- then cherished --experience of getting their teeth gently cleaned. (Not to mention a fancy new toothbrush from the doctor with the cool tools.)

Teeth are one of the many ways we measure a person -- through their smile, how they talk, and children growing up.

My daughter would snuggle each lost tooth gently under her pillow, delicately wrapped and ready for the magical Tooth Fairy's visit. My sons had a more, "that's awesome" approach. Turning the "lost" tooth in their hands, exploring each crevice, fresh out of their mouth.

Pointing to various spots on his last lost tooth, my son pointed out to me the gummy "Shark Bite" candy he was chewing on when the big event happened.

"See that light blue spot there? That's the candy I was chewing on," he said proudly. "Shark Bites are my favorite now."

At dinner that night (you should have seen how much he ate!) he grinned ear to ear and announced, "I'm so happy!"

Losing teeth, growing an inch taller, fitting into bigger shoes -- those and so many other milestones -- bring a smile to our faces, even ear-to-ear grins.

Cindy Kent is the mother of three children.

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August 22, 2007

Would you like lead with that sandwich?

On my son’s second day of pre-school, I was given a special homework assignment: Find a smaller lunch box.

Finding one that would fit all of Tupperware, ice packs and utensils would be a challenge. Little did I know that I also had to worry about lead, the toxic metal that has been the subject of many recent toy recalls. I had thought lead was only a potential problem with metal lunch boxes.

Nope.

That vinyl lining keeping your kids’ lunches cool could be as much of a health risk as that “Sarge” car that was recently recalled. (The Center for Environmental Health has been looking into the issue for years and gives some sage advice on its Web site.)

After a good 20 minutes scouring the store aisle for Spider Man, Cars and Pirates of the Caribbean lunch boxes, I finally came across one that caught my eye: It had a special tag that deemed it “ultra safe,” explaining it had been checked and passed by the “LEAD SAFE” Detection system.

Sold.

Sure, the lunch box doesn’t come decorated with cute characters from a movie, but it gives me the peace of mind (real or perceived) that my son won’t be ingesting lead with his cantaloupe.

Quick question for you parents out there: Have you tried or are you thinking of trying a home lead testing kit?

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August 10, 2007

Make my child's medicine taste like watermelon, please

The new trend in children's medicine is designer flavors that are fit for an ice-cream shop.

That's pretty tasty news if you've ever been the parent of a sick child. About a week ago, my son got the stomach flu and my wife and I got to clean up the vomit stains that came with it.

Our pediatrician recommended a strict liquid diet in the beginning, which meant my son had to drink either grape-flavored Pedialyte or the bubble-gum version (the only choices available the day I shopped at a nearby CVS store). He hates the bubblegum, which meant he had to spend nearly two days drinking grape. Of course, my little boy quickly became tired of the grape taste and it became a battle to get him to drink up. It's hard to explain to a child who is not even 3 yet how important it is to stay hydrated when you're sick.

Anyway, I wished he had more flavors to choose from. That's why I was excited to see recently Walgreens and Target stores advertising pharmacy services that allow parents to add a variety of sweet tastes to children's (and adult's) medicine.

For $2.99 at Walgreens, your child can choose from 11 flavors, including sour apple, raspberry and watermelon. At Target there's no charge and the medicine menu includes 19 flavors, like citrus punch, strawberry cream and chocolate banana pie.

Almost makes me wish I had the stomach flu myself just so I can get the watermelon-flavored medicine, or maybe the strawberry cream. Man, I can't decide.

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August 9, 2007

Another day, another toy recall

For my son’s upcoming 3rd birthday party, I had thought about making it a Thomas & Friends theme. But with yet another recall on the famous blue train toy, Thomas’ popularity has dropped considerably in my household.

The makers of the toy announced a voluntary recall on Wednesday of a Thomas & Friends spinning top because a painted wooden knob on one of the toys contained 40 times the legal limit for lead. This comes after a major recall in June of 1.5 million wooden railroad toys and set parts from the Thomas & Friends Wooden Railway product line. The toy maker, RC2 Corp., said that the surface paint on some of the toys made in China between January 2005 and April 2006 contain lead.

Lead in toys? I thought that health hazard went away about the time bell-bottoms went out of style. It’s scary to think of all the toys in our house and whether they might have the same problem. (Tip: Check out the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission Web site for other recalls.)

And as for my son’s birthday party, I’m now thinking animals –- the stuffed kind.

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August 1, 2007

I need a new doctor -- stat!

I’m ready to go shopping –- for a new pediatrician. Remember the days when you got to know your doctor? Right now, I’d be happy if I could get a moment with mine.

In the past year, my son has been treated by his pediatrician twice, despite at least a half-dozen visits to the office. (And one of those was the first "getting-to-know-you" visit.) At this particular group practice in Plantation, an appointment doesn’t guarantee your child actually sees his doctor. In fact, the first question the receptionist asks when you show up:

“Would you like to see your child’s doctor or the first available?”

Choose the former and you can expect to wait your precious life away (personal record: 90 minutes!) in the germ-infested waiting room. Choose the latter and your wait can be cut to under an hour –- or until your son throws up all over you in front of the nurses.

That’s what happened on Monday, when I had to rush my 2 ½-year-old son to the dreaded office. Nothing like a little projectile vomiting to get you past the crowded waiting area and into an examination room. And even that wasn’t enough to summon my son’s doctor.

Please help. What pediatricians have walked on water for your family? Heck, I’d settle for walking into a room.

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July 24, 2007

Playing football with a cracked back

Creed has always loved sports. And now he has a broken back. Should we still let him play tackle football?
I know it sounds ridiculous, but the answer we've arrived at is yes. We're going to send our 12-year-old son out onto the football field with a fractured L5 vertebra.footballphoto.jpg
The docs say it's OK, as long as he's not in pain. Come on, football is a great game!
Get into the spirit!
You can never assume that just because you have healthy children and seemingly good genes, that the next day isn't going to remind you of that cliche about what you do when you "assume'' something.
Creed had had back pain when he was 9, and when he complained of lower back pain again this year, they ran a bunch of tests. (Now I know why health insurance is so expensive.)
After x-rays, a bone scan and an MRI, doctors determined last week that Creed has spondylosis, some kind of defect that makes you susceptible to stress fractures in your back.
And furthermore, his "L5'' is fractured all the way through, on both sides.
Apparently this is usually caused by playing sports. Not necessarily tackle football, either. It was maybe the wrestling, or baseball, or any sport that requires hyperextension of the back.
The words "body cast'' have not been mentioned. bodycast.jpg
They say if he's in pain, he'll have to drop out of sports for three months.
That would be devastating.
I'm a sports cultist, really. I see the power of team sports on a boy.
I'm really not willing to give that up for Creed, by being overly conservative about this injury.
Maybe other parents would take tackle football off the list. But if sports playing is a great influence on a kid, football is the king daddy. It's almost like boot camp that a kid agrees to.
I love it.
And I'm not having my kid to turn into an obese TV-junkie who smokes pot.

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May 29, 2007

Books: A pain in the back

Written by Brittany Wallman:
My sixth grade son's middle school is like many in this county, I guess, in that it has no lockers. Lockers in this day and age are considered a great place to conceal Weapons of Mass Destruction and of Minor Destruction.


I've come to realize that any puzzling school policy can be unscrambled with this simple question to yourself: "If you ran a prison, would you allow 'xyz'? Well, why not?''

The kids also don't have big desks where they can deposit all that stuff we used to put in our desks when we were little.

So backpacks have much greater demands on them now. They must be able to carry a weight probably equal to or greater than the Broward County school student who has to carry it.

You know those heavy school books you had? Imagine lugging all of them in a backpack every day.

Now, then, is it a coincidence that my son has back problems at age 11?

I took him to the doctor last week because the lower left side of his back has been hurting for two months and he's even skipping football practice. Since this is his second visit for back pain, he was referred to a specialist, but his doctor thought my Backpack Back Pain theory had promise. [Thank you doc, and welcome to my expert witness list for my Big Lawsuit.]

Folks, we've been through two backpacks this school year. The first one busted from the weight. My attempts to fix it with diaper pins were fruitless and, for Creed, embarrassing!

Making matters even more depressing, at his school, Seminole Middle in Plantation, backpacks were banned starting at the end of last week, for the last few days of school. If you're baffled as to the reasoning, see the explanation above for the disappearance of lockers. Next thing we know they will ask us to sew our kids' pockets shut.

How do you ride your bike to school with a pile of papers and books, if you aren't allowed to bring a backpack? So I had to drive Creed to school.

What kind of place is this to raise a child?

Please comment

May 21, 2007

Baby Bottle Brouhaha

I recently came across an article that might be of interest to expectant parents as well as moms and dads of babies still drinking out of bottles. Of course, probably everybody but me heeds the warning about not heating up milk in the bottle. But I had always thought that warning was to prevent you from scalding your kid's mouth, not because of the potential for the bottle to leach toxic chemicals. So out the sake of convenience, I often popped the very microwaveable-looking bottle into the microwave and tested the milk to make sure it was nice and warm before handing it over.


According to a study by Environment California released several months ago, five popular brands of baby bottles were tested and all leached bisphenol A, a toxic chemical that has been found to have caused harm in laboratory animals. Not only is heating the bottle not recommended, but apparently the advocacy group also warns against washing plastic dishware with hot water, which could allow chemicals to leach out of the plastic.

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May 16, 2007

Sick of Being Sick

Is everyone at your kids' school sick? At our elementary school in Boca Raton, kids are throwing up in the halls, getting sent home with fevers and coughing their way through the day.

My 8-year-old, Ellie, got sent home with whatever is sweeping the school last week. She tested positive for strep throat and the doctor gave us a prescription for Omnicef. This took away the strep, but her fever remained at 103 five days later. emergency.jpgSo I took her back to the doctor. He told us to go to the emergency room at West Boca Medical Center to make sure she didn't have pneumonia or mono. I did not want to go to the emergency room because I knew there would be lots of waiting, kids screaming and additional exposure to germs. But we went.

 The most memorable part of my five hours there was listening to the nurses get an IV into Ellie's arm. I had to walk away, because I was crying too. But once that trauma was over, she forgot the needle was there.

She didn't have pneumonia or mono. They gave her an antibiotic called Rocephin through the IV, and the next day, no more fever.

 I ended up getting sick too, but fortunately I am recovering and did not need an antibiotic IV. She is back at school, and I think every day about how other parents at our school are caught up in the madness of this sickness.

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April 20, 2007

Am I raising a mass murderer?

I’m scared for my sons and their future. I'm not talking about the normal anxiety about whether your kid is hanging with the wrong crowd, swearing, fighting or drinking. My fear as of late is admittedly pretty outrageous: How do you know if you're raising a mass murderer?

The more I read about the Virginia Tech shooter, Cho Seung-hui, and his seemingly normal family, the more I think how could they have prevented what happened? Cho Seung-hui's parents are described as hard-working immigrants who were able to send their son to a good school like Virginia Tech but were ill equipped to help their son’s depression.

I can’t help but wonder what can I do to prevent my sons from suffering the same fate as Cho Seung-hui?

It seems as though Cho’s parents loved their son, worked hard to provide him with a good life and education. Where did they go wrong? Or did they?

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April 18, 2007

Will Mommy get cancer?

This month marks a special milestone. It passed with few words. What do you say, after all, when your mother marks five years since undergoing a mastectomy?

Five years is a key number when it comes to cancer: If you’ve made it that far, you’re considered a “cancer survivor.” I started counting the moment my mother emerged from surgery. With each April that passes, I breathe a little easier.

It seems appropriate, even if by chance, that I will have my first mammogram this month. I’ll undergo more diagnostic screenings than is normally prescribed because of my family history. I’m also starting at a younger age, as a precaution. I won’t, however, undergo an MRI, which the American Cancer Society now suggests for women with higher risks of developing breast cancer. Maybe next time.

But it got me thinking about another type of screening – genetic testing. How much do you want to know about your future health?

If you had asked me three years ago whether I wanted to know if I carried an inherited gene "alteration" known to increase the chances of developing breast cancer, I would have said, “No way.” But now that I’m a mother of a two-year-old boy, I want to make sure, more than ever before, that I am healthy for a very long time.

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April 4, 2007

Easter candy overload

Here comes Peter Cottontail…and lots and lots of candy. My extended family will celebrate Easter on Sunday with lots of food and the traditional Easter Egg Hunt. Of course, there will be more candy than eggs – and even those will be filled with chocolates and jellybeans.

What to do?

I’ve always tried to avoid giving my two-year-old son sweets. He had his first taste of cake at his first birthday party. For his second birthday, I filled the piñata with healthy snacks and prizes.

I’m not a total candy scrooge. My son enjoyed trick-or-treating on Halloween, ate a couple of candy canes around Christmas time and discovered cotton candy at a recent carnival.

Limiting his sweet intake has been pretty easy until now. But at some point, I’m guessing he’ll figure me out and wonder why he’s having a mere lollipop when his cousins are chomping on giant marshmallow-filled chocolate Easter bunnies.

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March 12, 2007

Got milk?

Whenever I consider the thought of having another baby, I can’t help but think about the dreaded B-word. No, not birth. That, believe it or not, was pretty painless –- even without an epidural. I’m talking breastfeeding.

The absolutely beautiful and natural way of feeding a child was absolutely emotionally and physically draining after I gave birth to my now two-year-old son. I only wish I had the overabundance problem that has prompted some local mothers to ship extra supplies of their breast milk to Africa to help reduce the risk of HIV infection in newborns. Some have shipped as much as 1,000 ounces, according to today’s Sun-Sentinel story by Tim Collie.

Perhaps worse than the physical discomfort –- OK, downright pain -- was the guilt I felt when I ran into trouble breastfeeding. Societal pressures are intense, leaving an already hormonally challenged new mother feeling like a complete failure if she can’t exclusively breastfeed her child. By Day Two at home, doctors ordered me to supplement with iron-fortified formula. Even more mortifying, I had to birdfeed my son with a dropper to avoid “confusing” him and to make sure he still breastfed.

I refused to give up. I attended weekly breastfeeding support groups at the local hospital, obsessively weighing my son and praying for wet diapers. (A sign he was eating well.) I took herbal vitamins. And I pumped like I worked at a gas station. Every ounce was gold in my mind. Once, I accidentally spilled some from a bottle I was carrying, and I just broke down into tears.

Eventually, I had to throw in the towel –- and the pump –- for my own sanity. Several months, I figured, was better than nothing at all.

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February 21, 2007

Spread the love, not the germs

Someone should have warned me about the rotavirus.

All of those parenting books I read in preparation of becoming a parent didn’t prepare me for the viscous stomach virus that plagues young children. It has paid a visit to my two-year-old son five times in his short life, including three rounds in two months last spring. It spreads through contact with contaminated food and surfaces. Basically, bad hygiene.

Chances are if your toddler or preschooler is in contact with other children, he or she has experienced rotavirus gastroenteritis, which is a fancy way of saying vomiting and diarrhea. No place is safe: My two nieces and nephew all got it recently when they went to Disney World. (Not quite the souvenir they were hoping for.) All four grandchildren (my son included) passed it back and forth to one another like a game of Hot Potato last spring at Abuela’s house. The virus also made its way around my son’s day care in December.

Last year, the Food and Drug Administration approved a rotavirus vaccine for infants up to eight months old. My son’s pediatrician says there’s talk of making the vaccine available to older children.

In the meantime, I’ve got an easier, less expensive solution – wash your hands regularly! Both friends and family have accused me of being freakishly worried about keeping my son’s hands clean. I carry hand-sanitizing liquid everywhere I go and stock up on antibacterial wipes as if they were a staple of hurricane supplies. (In fact, I just reached for the Purell that sits on my desk.)

Of course, all the tubs of Purell and Wet Ones in the world couldn’t have done any good during my son’s first visit to Disney World in November: As we waited in line for the ride “It’s a Small World,” I looked down at my son and saw him licking the handrail. Didn’t find that in a parenting book either!

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The Moms & Dads Team

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