Though we've vowed to take it easy this gift season, there's still been a lot of talk in my house lately about wish lists. My husband wants camping and hiking gear. My son wants a new Xbox and games. My daughter wants a laptop (not a chance) and socks (this I can handle).

Me? Aside from what my mom has always wished for -- "I just want us all to be together as a family" -- my needs and wants are very simple.

10. Towels to be used more than once.
9. Shoes that put themselves away.
8. I want my children to like the same foods, particularly fruits and vegetables.
7. A self-filling dishwasher.
6. I want my questions to get answers of more than one syllable.
5. Chores to be completed without having to say it twice.
4. I want to remember everything I thought I would never forget about my kids.
3. More time in the day.
2. Peace and understanding.
1. An iPhone.

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With Halloween past, the official Christmas/Hanukkah season has started. The TV ads are being unveiled. The catalogs are filling the mailbox. The pumpkin pie filling and cranberries are lining grocery store shelves.

But I'm not feeling it. Are you?

Unemployment in Florida is at 11 percent. And I have too many friends and family who fall into that number, or who got pay cuts this year. It's still rough out there.

Many kids have had to deal with the reality of doing with less. A study released earlier this week suggested up to 50 percent of U.S. kids will be on food stamps sometime during their childhood. That's astounding.

For more about the impacts of the recession on kids, read an excerpt from a speech this week by the director of the White House Office of Management and Budget.

We are fortunate to have a two-income household, but my kids know that this has been a tough year for a lot of people. So we are going to really dial it back during the holiday season.

We'll concentrate on giving to others in need, and spending time, rather than money, on friends and family.

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When are kids too old to trick-or-treat?

Seriously. I want to know. For religious reasons, I never participated in the annual extortion ritual that consisted of knocking on neighbors' doors and threatening them with mischief unless they handed over a Mars Bar or a Zagnut. So I never had to face the prospect that one day, I would be too old to do it.

But for the last few years, I've had the pleasure of tagging along with my wife while my stepdaughters have charmed the candy out of their neighbors. It's cute, but I'm starting to wonder whether they're getting a little old for this. They are 16 and 14, after all.

Have we reached the point in their lives when we should start planning Halloween parties instead of falling back on a ritual meant for children?

Are you as charmed by teenagers at your door as you are by the little ones? At what point do you feel more like you're being mugged than anything else? [And don't get me started on those who come to the door without a costume: you're not a trick-or-treater, you're a home invasion robber].

This isn't exactly related to my overall question, but I have to acknowledge the efforts of some churches to engage in a bit of counterprogramming on Halloween night. I grew up in a household that sapped the fun out of Halloween but didn't replace it with anything. It was just: "don't do it!" These churches don't ban the Halloween you know and love. But rather than say "don't do it," they say "do this instead."

Maybe such an event would be a good way to wean a teen off Halloween. I won't use this space to plug the activities of a particular church, but if you know of any counterprogramming, feel free to leave a comment.

Maybe I'll wait until next year to suggest a different Halloween activity. Why spoil the fun? Besides, in another year or two, our infant will be ready to start extorting the neighbors for a Watchamacallit.

And he can bring his sisters along, too.

[By the way, if you're wondering, those aren't our kids in the photo: it's Al and Tipper Gore in a 1998 AP photo].

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Like so many other things parents have to contend with these days, Halloween has become complicated.

There are safety concerns (predators lurk everywhere!), health and nutrition issues (we're in an obesity epidemic, after all!), and all sorts of landmines around costumes (hoochie mama witches, anyone?).

Just another thing for a beleaguered parent to sweat over. This week we're posing these questions and more in our First Annual (and perhaps only) Burning Issues Great Halloween Debate.

Follow this link to our first question: Is it OK to take your kids to the "good neighborhood" with all the best candy?

Discuss!

Photos.com

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The holidays are right around the corner. Of course, that's not breaking news to moms and dads. The kids also are quite aware.

But continuing economic challenges might cause families to re-evaluate the idea of giving and receiving gifts.

Of course every day is a good day to spend money wisely, if you have to spend it on something. And every day is is a good day to remember priorities - what's important in the big picture of life and love and family and friends.

As an aside, my son makes homemade cards for family on special occasions - it's a tradition we've all come to expect - and anticipate! It costs him more in time than anything else. But it comes from a place you can't buy - the heart. So it's also invaluable.

Don't get me wrong, we give and get stuff too.

But families are struggling, many, just to keep a roof over their heads. The idea of spending money on decorations or gifts pale compared to the need to pay a medical bill, the electricity or buy food.

Watching budgets will undoubtedly be a part of everyone's holiday spending plan.

What things will you do to celebrate the holidays, but because of the economy, a lost job and other challenges, your plan is different from past years?

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Broward County: Flamingo Gardens & Wildlife Sanctuary, one of Broward County's gems, will have FREE admission for grandparents on Sunday. And half-price admission is $8.50 for ages 12 and up, $4.25 ages 4 to 11, free for tots younger than 4. Hours are 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. Sunday.

Come dressed in your favorite "decade" look and play "name that tune" to music from the '30s '40s '50s and '60s from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Grandchildren can color a free Happy Grandparents Day card, and everyone can get together to play the "name that decade game" with prizes.

Admission includes the event, the gardens and wildlife exhibits, and guided tours of historic 1930s Wray Home. A narrated 20-minute tour by tram is extra. Food, snacks, and beverages are available. Parking is free.

Flamingo Gardens & Wildlife Sanctuary is at 3750 S Flamingo Road, Davie; 954-473-2955, flamingogardens.org.

Palm Beach County: The Flagler Museum celebrates Grandparents Day with special activities in the Flagler Kenan Pavilion: create a family tree, create a scrapbook page; be interviewed by your grandchild; write a postcard to send to your family; have a family photo taken in front of Henry Flagler's Railcar No. 91. Plus, tour Whitehall with an activity guide for grandkids.

Whitehall was completed in 1902 for railroad magnate Henry Flagler. Today, it's a National Historic Landmark.

The Museum is at Cocoanut Row and Whitehall Way, Palm Beach. Sunday hours are noon to 5 p.m. Admission is $15 for adults, $8 for youth ages 13-18, $3 for children ages 6-12, and children under 6 are free. Info: 561-655-2833, flaglermuseum.us.

Miami-Dade County: Miami Children's Museum is having a 6th anniversary family carnival, with rides, games and exhibits. The museum's newest traveling exhibit is "Adventures of Clifford the Big Red Dog." And there's a special Grandparents Corner with activities, a Little Masters Area that features Miami area artists, and a Circus Acts area. Hours are 1 to 6 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $50 for adults, $35 for children (1 to 12 years old). For more info, call the hotline at 305-373-5437, ext. 156. Or http://miamichildrensmuseum.org/

Photo: Forum Publishing Group/Beth Black

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The "family reunion" has become an industry unto itself. There are websites, magazines and books. You can buy invitations and t-shirts and save-the-date magnets. You can create playlists and themes. We didn't do that. We're just not that kind of family.

But our vacation qualified as a family reunion because we drew 23 people from seven states -- four gerations from my 84 year old dad to the nearly 2 year old great granddaughter (we were missing seven). We were spread over three cabins for four nights in the Black Hills of South Dakota.

The last time we all gathered in this particular location, Papa spent a great deal of time in the pool with a bunch of kids younger than 10. This time, those same kids are all in their 20s, and Papa isn't as agile as he was then. There have been marriages and babies and college degrees and global travels along the way.

When we gather like this every couple years -- the last time for my niece's wedding -- the dynamics change. But we've learned a lot along the way, especially about keeping the peace. Here's what works for us -- what works for you?

1. Don't over plan. The only activity we do as a group is dinner. Trying to get that many people to agree on anything is fraught with peril. So during the day, we go our own ways to the sights or to nap. As it turned out, small groups would form for a particular adventure -- caving one day, horseback riding another. So we all spent a little bit of time with everyone else.

2. Share dinner responsibilities. It's too expensive to eat out all the time. And nobody wants to get stuck with all the dinner planning. So we assign nights to family groups -- from the shopping and cooking to cleanup. Over happy hour, we share our adventures from the day. We play a few games -- dominoes or bocci ball. The kids kick a soccer ball around. It's a nice way to unwind.

3. A campfire is a essential. And not just for the 'smores. This is when the family stories are passed down, when the far-flung cousins rebuild their bonds, when the younger generations get initiated into broader family dynamics. The last campfire is always the best -- by then our guards are down and the laughs are loudest.

4. Humor Grandma. If Grandma says we're going to the cowboy dinner and sing-along, by gosh, we're going. And we're going to enjoy it. And don't be late. Just do it. And if Grandma wants to play word games and give out prizes, so be it. It's the least we can do to play along...and wouldn't you know, it's fun.

5. Realize families change. Every reunion, there's a newbie who gets a little gentle hazing. This time, my nephew brought his girlfriend. That Emily...she held up pretty well! When my husband was the newcomer, he got stuck babysitting some rambunctious tots who tortured him with dog piles and pillow fights. Now, 20 years later, he's offering advice to those same kids about how to tolerate all the family togetherness when they'd rather go into town. And yes, 20somethings will sneak away to the liquor store. When they were little, all they needed was a swimming pool to keep them happy. Things change.

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Today is National S'mores Day. Hip-hip-hooray! Put another log on the fire...

S'mores are, and I'm not exaggerating (much), critical to a happy childhood. Think about it. S'mores signify togetherness, warmth, overindulgence. Any child who doesn't get to sit around a fire at least once with family and friends eating s'mores, singing campfire songs and telling ghost stories is...is....missing something special. (And those microwave versions -- completely missing the point.)

This summer, I was priveleged to participate in a campfire where I encountered THREE s'mores innovations.

First, instead of the traditional chocolate, there was the Cookies N' Cream candy bar option. Maybe I have a limited imagination, but it had never occured to me that you could use a different kind of candy bar. What's next, flavored marshmallows?

Second, credit goes to my daughter Erika for sticking a small piece of chocolate INSIDE the marshmallow before roasting so it got all melty. Very clever.

But the most important revelation: The very handy Rolla-Roasters that Cousin Becky brought from Colorado. These extendable roasting forks have a knob on the handle that you can turn as the marshmallow roasts. I'm telling you, they produce the puffiest, goldenest marshmallows ever. She got hers at REI, the very popular outdoors store.

This is not a great time of year in South Florida for a campfire. So on this day, National S'mores Day, let's vow to haul out the backyard fire pit in four or five months. Grab the marshamallows, chocolate and graham crackers, and make some memories.

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This Fourth of July shake up your tradition of grilling and gathering with the family by checking out a fireworks show outside your neck of the woods.

Here are six shows in the tri-county that seem worthy of the trek. If you know of a Fourth of July festivity that uniquely caters to kids and their parental units, let me know.

All events listed are on July 4.

In Broward County:

Davie: Cool off at 10 a.m. with a free family splash pool party featuring a DJ. Plus World War I and II military equipment show, bounce houses, climbing wall and free birthday cake. Purchase food or bring your own; grills and tables available. Country music group Shadow Creek kicks off festivities at 6 p.m. in the ball fields, fireworks at 9 p.m. Pine Island Park, 3800 SW 92nd Ave. davie-fl.gov. 954-797-1163, 954-797-1000.

Get to Vista View Park early to get the best seats to see fireworks displays across Broward County. Bring beach chairs and blankets. Food vendors on site. 6-11 p.m. at 4001 SW 142nd Ave. $5 per vehicle or $1.50 for walk-ins, bicycles and motorcycles. 954-327-8797.

Lauderdale-by-the-Sea: Beach Blast begins with a parade at 10 a.m., headed north on Bougainvillea from Town Hall to Pine Avenue. Join the fun 11 a.m.-3 p.m. at El Prado Park, El Prado and El Mar drives. Amusement park, classic car show, DJ and steel drum music. Fireworks shot off at the beach at El Prado Drive at 8:30 p.m. 954-772-3336.

In Miami-Dade County:

Coconut Grove: The All-Day Celebration kicks off with an old-fashioned picnic 11 a.m. at the Barnacle house. Lawn games, kite-making and knot-tying demonstrations are highlights. 305-442-6866. Scavenger hunt registration begins 2:15 p.m. at Mayfair Passage, Grand Avenue near Mary Street.

Hot dog eating contest happens 4:30 p.m. at CocoWalk. Concert featuring bands Ryan Stone Music, First October, JT4 and Campo Deluxe Jazz Quartet will be 4 p.m. at Peacock Park, fireworks at 9 p.m. 2820 McFarlane Road. 305-444-7270.

Miami: America's Birthday Bash includes 3-7 p.m. Kids' Zone with inflatable slides, carousel, hoops and face painting. The park will be open all day. Fireworks over Biscayne Bay at 9 p.m. Bayfront Park, 301 N. Biscayne Blvd. 305-358-7550.

In Palm Beach County:

Delray Beach: A sand sculpture contest, bicycle and scooter parade, music, food and fireworks. 8 a.m.-9:30 p.m. at the intersection of A1A and Atlantic Avenue. 561-279-1380 ext. 3.

Wellington: A patriotic pool party with music, games and more from 12-5 p.m. at Aquatics Complex, 12165 W. Forest Hill Blvd. Games, rides, face painting, food and more from 6-9 p.m., fireworks at 9:15 p.m. Village Park, 11700 Pierson Road. 561-791-4733.

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Jon Kolbe agreed to write about his "dadness" at Cindy Kent's request. She's off to celebrate Father's Day with her own dad. Kolbe's creative use of social networking is engaging and effective. Today he shares with us how being a dad has changed since he lost his job.

My life is...almost perfect.

I've got a beautiful, caring and selfless wife; I have the two most beautiful girls. Ever. I have family, I have friends. Everyone is healthy, who could ask for more?

The only little teeny, tiny thing that is missing is: a job.

I've come to the realization that only after a job is gone can you fully appreciate it and what it really does for you.

I worked as a project manager for an architectural firm for 11 years. My two girls were born during a time of rampant construction, economic expansion and an economy that Kryptonite could not hinder. I worked, and I worked, at least until nightfall, sometimes later.

I'm not complaining. This was the way I was raised. My dad has always had his own business, his dad had his own business and his grandfather had his own business. This 'work til the job is done' ethic is ingrained deeply in me. Life was good, my wife was a stay at home mom and my kids were among the happiest around.

Cue the "bubble burst," "market correction," the "financial crisis," or as I refer to it: the implosion.
The one thing missing in my life during the "good days" was family time. Six day work weeks did not allow me to spend any amount of quality time with my family.

Now, between applying for jobs and the phone not ringing with offers, I have had time.

I have tried to capitalize on this opportunity by building strong bonds and one very cool lemonade stand.

I have changed more diapers in the last six months than I have in the last six years. I've made lunches, burned dinners, been to the playground, applied Band-Aids, removed splinters, walked to school in the rain, been stuck in the car line, spared the rod, spoiled the child and taught tic-tac-toe. I've had fevers, I've held their hands and given them baths when they had fevers. I've even collected hail in the middle of what I can only describe as a typhoon for a science lesson.

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Is your best friend a single mom? Mother’s Day is a great time to let a hardworking single mom know you appreciate her, and you don’t have to run to the mall to do it.

My top 7 gifts for a single mother:

1. A weekend of baby-sitting. Single moms often have very little “Me” time. You can get creative and make your own baby-sitting coupon and stick it in a card.

2. Offer to take some pictures of your friend with her little one, and create a photo collage. I have so many pictures of my daughter, but so few of us together. It’s nice to have someone capture some of those everyday moments.

3. A manicure and pedicure gift certificate. (But again, offer to baby-sit so she doesn’t have to drag the kids to the salon)

4. Get a calendar and fill it with free summer activities for kids happening in the area. Every time that mom is short of ideas she can reach for the calendar.

5. A CD or downloads of inspirational songs that celebrate motherhood. (I like Fantasia’s “Baby Mama”)

6. Offer to help her organize. Homework, bills, junk mail. She might appreciate having someone she trusts help her purge.

7. Cook a few family size meals and zap them in her freezer.

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Mother’s Day is around the corner – May 10 – which gives us this weekend to plan and shop.

I’m a simple gal, so I really don’t want anything. Really.

A nice little kiss on the cheek from each kid, a hug – and I’m happy. Seriously, honest.

For my own mom, I’ll roll out the red carpet – it’s her day. It’s whatever she wants, whatever she wants to do. Typically, I make dinner – whatever she’s in the mood for!

Plants, hand-made cards and family time – all top the list of my favorite gifts I've received.
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Come next Sunday, we’ll be with my parents for some good inter-generational fun! Sure it’s Mother’s Day, and I suppose I could sit one meal preparation out. But frankly, I love to cook! That’s what I want to do and anyway, it’s all about us moms that day.

This year, what’s in your gift bag to Mom?

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Its' a no-brainer, really.
When you acknowledge the spirituality of others, you learn more about yourself. You gain insight.

That's what we told The Kid when we explained why we were hosting a Passover dinner in our home this week.

Our guest list included Jewish people and Christians. We invited friends, neighbors and co-workers to a "Gentile Passover". Everyone was touched by our invitation. One said she had been thinking about what she would do this holiday.

We made Matzo Ball soup, from scratch; and roasted chicken and lamb. Our neighbor cooked a brisket.

All of us, including The Kid and his friend, listened as one of the guests explained the meaning of the opening plate and what the food on it signified.

Everyone brought something to the table.
But the main courses were inclusiveness, love, respect and friendship.

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A tisket, a tasket, a bountiful Easter basket.

Here are some ideas for filling baskets for children younger than 5.

11 Great Non-Food Items

Peeps bubbles (found at discount stores such as Dollar Store)

Balls such as tennis balls, small Nerf balls.

Toddler-sized utensils, cups and bowls