The public health messages about mammograms have never been more confusing.

For years, we were told every woman over 40 should get a mammogram every year so doctors could detect breast cancer before it became widespread. Although the American Cancer Society is continuing that recommendation, they admitted last month that mammography can “miss cancers that need treatment, and in some cases find disease that does not need treatment.”

That means women are going through chemotherapy and radiation for tumors that don't need intervention. Unfortunately, doctors can't tell the difference yet.

I've had a couple of mammograms over the years but let my prescription for the last one lapse because I've been reading so much about the controversy over their usefulness. I have an appointment next week with my ob-gyn and definitely will broach this topic.

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Now that the Palm Beach County school superintendent is giving principals leeway in the district's testing program and protests have quieted down, I've been wondering what effect the hostilities have had on our kids.

At several events organized by angry parents, kids were carrying signs and chanting slogans against the school system. I couldn't help but think they were learning that this is a proper way to act toward adults, such as teachers and principals, to whom they have been taught to show deference at all times.

The kids still have to go back to school and take a lot of tests. What will their attitude be? How they will feel about their teachers who have to give the exams? About school in general?

It's impossible for us not to pass along our beliefs to our kids. I'm just wondering whether they should attend rallies against a system they still have to participate in when the protests are over.

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We are in the 10th week of school in Palm Beach County, but it's only the third full week.

There has been something to interrupt almost every week, including four teacher work days/professional development days/"learning team meeting" days.

I have always wondered if teachers are actually working on these days. I once saw one of my daughter's former teachers getting a manicure on one of these "work days."

These days off are a big disruption for working parents. Looking ahead at the coming weeks, there will be another "teacher work day" on Wednesday, Nov. 11, Veterans Day. Ugh.

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I didn't think it could happen, but pressure from parents succeeded in modifying the Palm Beach County School District's new policy of testing students every three weeks to make sure they had learned all their lessons.

Now it's up to each principal to decide how often to administer the computerized tests. An amazing new movement of parents can take credit for this accomplishment, but I see from their Facebook page they see this as just the beginning of an uprising against the drastic changes the district made to schools this year, including departmentalization, in which elementary school kids have to change classes like they are in middle or high school.

I was skeptical that parents could succeed against the district's entrenched bureaucracy, but clearly board members and the administration heard the outcry and responded. Power to the parents!

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With lots of envelopes being given to us during my daughter's bat mitzvah a few weeks ago, it was almost inevitable that some got lost in the shuffle.

When we entered the gifts in the computer so we could properly thank everyone, there were about five people from whom we hadn't received anything. The question became: Do we tell them or not?

When we have been on the giving side, people have lost our gifts and never told us. We found out either when we tried to balance our checkbook and saw the check had never been cashed, or we got a Thank You note saying "Thank you for the generous gift" when we had given the kid a necklace or a book.

In the end, we decided to tell the people and took the blame ourselves, saying it looks like we lost their gift. There were an assortment of responses: Some said they would write a new check, others said their gifts would be delayed. I'm glad we decided to clear the air instead of always wondering what had happened.

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If director Roman Polanski were a priest and had raped a 13-year-old, there would be universal condemnation and disdain across America.

But as Father Tom Reese of Georgetown University points out, no one seems too outraged that Polanski, who won an Academy Award in 2003, fled the United States in 1978 before his sentencing on charges of giving drugs and alcohol to a minor and having unlawful sex. He faced a 50-year sentence and was arrested on Saturday after three decades on the run.

The victim, Samantha Geimer of Hawaii, says she does not want to prosecute, which to me makes it different from the Catholic sexual abuse cases, in which many victims sought justice decades later. Still, I do see the double standard. What do you think?

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Protests against Palm Beach County schools' new policies are getting pretty intense.

The city of Boca Raton is considering converting schools in the city to charter schools so they can be free of the Palm Beach County School District. Websites and Facebook groups are popping up all over the place, including For Our Kids, United, Palm Beach County Parents for Educational Reform, and Testing is not Teaching. Parents are dressing their kids in orange this week to support teachers and show their disapproval of district policies.

The protests stem from several radical new practices implemented this year, including "embedded assessments," or frequent testing of skills learned, and "departmentalization," in which elementary school kids change classes like they are in middle school.

My kids are tired of all the testing, so I hope these parents can get the school district to allow schools more autonomy. Why not give principals the discretion to decide what's needed for their students? Unfortunately, I have little hope my fellow parents will be able to rock this bureaucracy.

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I have always been fascinated as I've watched my kids and other kids apologize. Because you can tell when it's heartfelt and when they are just mouthing the words to please their parents or teachers.

Those same feelings came up as I've watched the insincere apologies of three public figures in the past few days: Congressman Joe Wilson, for yelling "You lie!" to the President during a session of Congress; Serena Williams, for threatening a lineswoman during the US Open; and Kanye West, for telling singer Taylor Swift during MTV's Video Music Awards that Beyonce was more deserving of the award she had just received.

They all "apologized," but I believe their actions could have been prevented with some self-control. They know they are in the public eye and are being scrutinized. Perhaps they are enjoying this negative publicity?

As this article in USA Today details, many see their actions as part of a collapse of civility. What do you think? Have manners and self-discipline disappeared from our society?

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I log on to Facebook every day, but I don't know why.

Occasionally I learn a tidbit of gossip about my friends. But for the most part, I read a boring list of things they are doing that day, such as "sitting at son's baseball game" or "doing daughter's camp laundry." Or I get to see friends inviting each other to lunch or read about the parties I wasn't invited to.

Apparently I'm not the only one feeling frustrated. People across the country are rebelling; one guy is selling T-shirts that say "Shut Your Facebook."

People have an assortment of reasons for closing their accounts. They say it made them confused about who their friends were; they felt like they were wasting time in a non-productive activity; they felt like voyeurs, or at the other end, like they were being stalked.

I'm not planning to close up my account any time soon. But I have promised myself I will open it up less frequently (only once a day, I swear!).

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Can you imagine spending quality time with each of your 19 kids?

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar insist they will be able to do this, as they announced yesterday their 19th child is scheduled to be born in March.

They've gotten quite a franchise going, with a new book, "The Duggars: 20 and Counting," a reality show on TLC, and various things they promote, such as a "financial freedom seminar" on their website.

They seem so happy and functional on their TV show. Michelle is the epitome of calm and never seems to age, and Jim Bob seems dedicated to the family. This story in People magazine shows how they distribute the workload: Each of the older kids has some serious responsibilities, basically raising the kids and taking care of the house to free up the parents to have more kids.

At first I was quick to judge them; who needs 19 kids? But if they're not on welfare and are creating law-abiding citizens, more power to them.

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I have three girls, but I always wondered what I would do if I had a boy and the circumcision issue came up.

I'm sure I would go through with it, but I can't help thinking about its barbarity.
Now experts are thinking of recommending routine circumcision for all boys born in the United States as a way to prevent HIV.

Almost 80 percent of American males have been circumcised, but public health officials still think routine surgery could take a jab at the virus that causes AIDS.

They admit, though, that circumcision wouldn't make a dent in one of the major groups affected by AIDS: homosexual men. The surgery appears to curb the spread of the virus only in heterosexual men.

Did you have any second thoughts about circumcising your son?

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I'm all for teachable moments. But does my family have to watch penis enhancement commercials during prime-time news?

The commercials are for ExtenZe, a pill that promises larger and harder erections. I have been secretly hoping my kids have no idea what the commercials are talking about.

The Viagra and Cialis commercials were more subtle and easier to ignore. But the ExtenZe ads are pretty direct, promising to "make a man larger" and increase "the size of a certain part of the male body."

Let these commercials run in the middle of the night!

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Some uptight parents at Morikami Park Elementary School west of Delray Beach want these sculptures removed before school starts on Aug. 18.

The set is in a shopping center near the school, and parents say the nudity is upsetting their children.

I get my hair cut in this shopping center, Addison Plaza, and never even noticed the statues before the controversy emerged. The family of three is called "Journey to the New," by Boca Raton sculptor Itzik Asher, and represents the voyage of Russian and Ethiopian Jews to Israel.

Our kids today learn almost nothing about art, never mind nudity in art. Their only exposure to nudity is the semi-porn they see on TV and in videos. So if you pass this sculpture with your kids, I say get out of the car and talk to them about the beautiful ways artists can interpret the human body.

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As I walked through Town Center Mall in Boca Raton with my 15-year-old, a guy at a kiosk asked us if there was a smoker in our family who sought an alternative.

He was peddling electronic cigarettes, which deliver nicotine in a cigarette shape without tobacco smoke. My daughter disagreed with me, but I couldn't help but think he was sending a subtle message to teens that there is a new kind of cigarette out there that is "healthier."

How timely that the FDA announced last week that electronic cigarettes are close to poisonous. They not only contain cancer-causing nitrosamines; they have diethylene glycol, the toxic ingredient in antifreeze.

Unfortunately the FDA is not taking smokeless cigarettes off the market. In the meantime, watch out as mall workers try to lure you in with claims, such as this description on the Smoking Everywhere website, that you can avoid "the fire, flame, tobacco, tar, carbon monoxide, ash, stub, smell and all the other chemicals found in traditional cigarettes." Right, instead you can inhale a different set of cancer-causing chemicals.

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The amazing ability of swine flu to spread like wildfire hit home for me this summer, when my kids' sleepaway camp was canceled due to an outbreak among the counselors just before camp started.

So I am reading with interest about the federal government's preparations for more potential outbreaks when school starts next month.

Children ages 5 to 17 will be among the first to be offered a new vaccine, scheduled to be available in October. It will be interesting to see if schools start to require the new shot and refuse to allow kids who aren't inoculated.

I hope not. From what I've read, if you're healthy, swine flu will knock you out for a few days but
then you get better, just like any flu. So I would hesitate to vaccinate my kids with a quickly developed, largely untested vaccine against an illness from which they likely would recover quickly with no long-term effects.

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When I look at my kids' beds each day, I feel like a failure.

Their blankets are strewn in all sorts of mysterious positions: at the foot of the bed, in the space between the bed and the wall, on top of their pillows. I hit the roof recently when my youngest daughter began tossing hers on the floor.

I guess I could start withholding allowance, computer time, TV time and food. But then I wonder if it's worth it. Does it really matter if they make their beds?

The mistake I made is not drilling in the bedmaking habit when they were little. Warning to parents of little ones: Teach your kids the advantages of a neat bed. They will be able to find things better! It looks good! And visitors will be impressed!

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As I plan my middle daughter's bat mitzvah, friends and people I am hiring usually ask: "What's her theme?"

Although everyone these days seems to do a theme for their bar or bat mitzvah party, such as sports or camping or ballet, I still think it is ridiculous to have to design an expensive motif that no one will care about or remember.

The theme usually applies to the table settings, the centerpieces, the music, the giveaways (I'm not doing those either) and the invitations. Some parents say it helps them focus their party planning; I think it's a silly extravagance that takes away from the meaning of the day.

One party my daughter went to had a shopping theme. Extremely offensive.

To reduce costs but still make a party that is classy and fun, I'm hiring a DJ and buying some centerpieces. I bought invitations on-line and created an e-mail address for people to RSVP. In this economy, I'm not sure guests should expect much more.

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I feel so old when I criticize contemporary music lyrics, but a current hit really has me steamed.

I keep hearing my girls sing "Do the Helen Keller." So I asked what it means to "do the Helen Keller," and of course they have no clue. They just like the song.

Here are the obscene lyrics by 3Oh!3:

"Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho
Won't trust a ho cause the ho won't trust me

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips"

How could any recording company or radio station allow this to get through? Where is the self-censorship? If they sang, "Do the Adolf Hitler and goose-step like a Nazi," would that become a hit too?

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I confess I watch many of the shows about giant families, including Jon & Kate Plus 8 and 18 Kids and Counting.

In "18 Kids and Counting," you can sense some chemistry between the married couple, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. But in "Jon & Kate Plus 8," I could never understand how they loved each other and remained married.

So I'm not at all surprised they revealed on Monday night's show that they are getting divorced. You could see in their body language they almost disdained each other.

Tabloids and blogs have had a field day blaming one or the other. But I believe you could see from the outset that this marriage was not meant to last.

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I have become addicted to "Whatever, Martha!"

It's a show on Wednesday nights on the Fine Living Network in which Martha Stewart's daughter, Alexis, and her friend, Jennifer Koppelman Hutt, make fun of old Martha Stewart shows, which ran from 1991 to 2004. I find myself laughing out loud as they take apart Martha's obsessive and controlling personality and find sexual innuendo in her every offhand comment.

They mock Martha's clothing, body language, choice of words, choice of projects, choice of guests: everything Martha says and does is subject to their ridicule.

I laugh -- sometimes -- when my kids make fun of me, but this skewering takes Mom-mocking to a new level. Still, I wasn't surprised to learn the idea for "Whatever, Martha!" was Martha's, a way to revive interest in her old shows.

We all know she is a savvy businesswoman, but now we learn she has a terrific sense of humor. Here's to mothers who don't take themselves too seriously.

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Just before the end of the school year, every year, my kids' schools decide to squeeze in sex education.

The letter comes home giving us the option of opting out. I never opt out, and always make sure to ask the kids what they learned.

It's funny to hear them recount the lessons. My sixth grader said her science teacher introduced the topic this way: "Let's get two words out of the way. PENIS. And VAGINA."

My fourth grader remembered only that her teacher discussed menstrual cramps. At least that's what she told me.

I love the way the schools leave these controversial lessons for the last few days of the year, post-FCAT, minimizing the ability of parents to complain. This way, by the time parents call in to talk about the lessons or ask questions, the school year is over and no one has the energy or interest to engage in discussion.

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I am obsessed with the Palin family, so I'll be sure to read the upcoming story in GQ magazine about Levi Johnston, father of Bristol Palin's baby.

According to New York magazine, which got an advance copy, Levi is an inscrutable type who likes to hunt and fish and "may or may not" be looking for a job. He and Bristol have been exchanging "flirty" text messages and are in regular contact.

Since I posted yesterday about Bristol's silly abstinence campaign, I had to check out what Levi's latest statements are re abstaining from sex, now that he has a five-month-old boy. He told the Early Show: "I don't just think telling young kids, you can't have sex, it's not going to work. It's not realistic."

Love the contrary messages from the confused teen parents! Keep it up, kids, this is fun!

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Is there a parent out there who believes Bristol Palin is a role model?

Somehow, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has gotten a job promoting abstinence through the Candie's Foundation, which seeks to prevent teen pregnancies. Bristol has a 5-month-old boy now.

She had previously told Fox News that abstinence wasn't realistic. Now she says: "It's a hard choice, but it's the safest choice and it's the best choice."

What was the Candie's Foundation thinking? I can't imagine any parent saying, "Be like Bristol Palin." Looks like more of a publicity move for this foundation than rational thinking on who would be a good teen role model.

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Lots of Palm Beach County parents are complaining about a school district plan to make elementary school teachers teach specialty subjects instead of a little bit of everything, as they do now. Click here for the story that ran in the Sun Sentinel.

I don't see anything wrong with this plan. Many elementary school teachers admit that certain subjects are not their strong point. Why not let them show their strengths, which ultimately will reflect on to the kids?

The kids also get to see a variety of teaching styles and get to move around a little more instead of staying glued to their seats for hours.

Some schools are taking the plan, designed for third-, fourth- and fifth-graders, and applying it to kindergartners. That may be going a little too far. And I still have lots of questions about the plan for the older kids (which I just e-mailed to my daughter's fourth-grade teacher). But overall, this seems like a creative idea that costs nothing and has lots of potential for good.

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Will people do just about anything to get on TV?

I'm thinking of the Palm Beach County moms who appeared on "Oprah" recently to talk about how they handled their 14-year-olds' love affair.

Lisa LaPlume, mother of Pierce, and Beth Greene, mother of Courtney, went on the show with the kids after LaPlume responded to a query on Oprah's Web site: "Parents -- need help talking to your kids about sex?" The show took up the question, with the help of sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman, of whether the teens were ready to get into bed.

LaPlume admitted she had bought condoms for them, which apparently drew lots of criticism from the audience and the Web. Ultimately, the teens did not have sex and are now "friends."

Can you imagine airing this personal family drama on TV? Shows me that people will gladly humiliate themselves for their 15 minutes of fame.

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My 9th-grade daughter is about to dissect a pig in biology class.

I remember dissecting a frog in high school and learning a lot about anatomy by picking through its body. But for some reason, the idea of dissecting a pig has made me a sudden animal-rights activist.

In our computer-assisted age, it seems so antiquated to be killing animals for high-school dissection purposes. There are excellent Web sites, such as this one, that my daughter's bio class used to dissect a computerized frog.

There's probably no comparison between the real thing and the computerized version. But I say save the real animals for medical students.

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I was thrilled when my 15-year-old daughter told me her language arts class would be reading "Romeo and Juliet."

Finally, some real literature! A short respite from the FCAT essay-writing and fill-in-the-correct-answer obsession!

Unfortunately, my joy was shortlived. She told me she could hardly understand a word. She said she would blank out until the teacher translated into modern English.

I got out my college Shakespeare text and reread it myself. And even I had difficulty getting through it. In our age of e-mailing, texting and Twittering, Shakespeare seemed dated and foreign.

How depressing. "Romeo and Juliet" has drama, teen lovers, sex, priests, poison and death. We could learn a lot from the silly family rivalries that prevent the pair from going public. Shakespeare's final line still holds true: "For never was a story of more woe/Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."

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"Did the Jews kill Jesus?"

My 10-year-old daughter asked this at the dinner table, the day after Easter.

Kids at her public school were taunting her, and she was confused. She said it was not the first time she had heard it.

Jewish families like ours don't talk about Jesus much. Through osmosis in American culture, we learn the basics of Christianity. But beyond saying, "It wasn't the Jews; it was the Romans," my husband and I weren't sure how to proceed on a 10-year-old's level.

I did the best I could over the next few days, but still am researching how to give our religious perspective on the many parties involved in the crucifixion.

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I keep thinking about Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

She's the Broward congresswoman and mother of three who recently revealed she underwent seven surgeries for breast cancer, including a double mastectomy, without telling almost anyone. She is talking for the first time now to increase awareness of breast cancer among young women (she's 42).

I keep thinking how I would have handled the same situation. Without sounding too overdramatic, I would probably come close to a nervous breakdown. I probably wouldn't be able, physically or emotionally, to work. There would be lots of tears and feeling sorry for myself.

So when I read about her steely resolve, unyielding focus on her congressional duties, how she served as host for a Nancy Pelosi fundraiser nine days after surgery, how her family life has continued as normal, I can't relate. We all cope differently with life's traumas, but I know few people who would be as emotionally unaffected as our congresswoman.

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My almost-15-year-old is about to get her driving permit, and I am extremely nervous.

Traffic deaths are the leading cause of death for teens. But as every other parent of a teen knows, it's not necessarily your kid who will be the bad driver. It's everyone else, especially here in South Florida.

I was surprised but impressed with the difficulty of the questions on the permit test. A sample:

If you receive 12 points within 12 months, for how long will your license be suspended? (30 days)
What is the maximum speed limit for passengers on a two-lane highway? (70 mph)

Not that knowing these answers will help her make split-second decisions. I've found that a big part of driving is not only those quick judgments but letting go of the ego and not caring if someone cuts in front of you and speeds ahead. I still think most 16-year-olds don't have that maturity.

The Dori Slosberg Foundation, based in Boca Raton, has started a campaign targeting teen driving deaths, including a Safe Teen Driver Awareness Week April 20 to 25. Click here for some tips on how to keep our teen drivers safe.

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As the mom of a high school freshman, I've learned it's easy to find out your child's class rank.

At our school, your kid is given a printout of the past semester's grades, which include a rank calculation. Needless to say, all the kids are asking each other what their ranks are.

Of course they all want to be as high as possible, and the frustration begins early. I began to wonder how important rank really is when colleges are looking at your application. I asked Lynn Lubell, publisher of InLikeMe.com, a self-help college admissions Web site based in Boca Raton. Here's what she said:

"While a high class rank is impressive, admissions officers tend to be more focused on the entire picture, including rigor of academic schedule, grades in specific classes, entrance exam scores, intellectual curiosity, activities, recommendations and what positively differentiates the student from other applicants."

So I will try not to obsess too much about the fact that my daughter is not in the Top 10. Until next semester's rankings come out, that is.

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I am about to do something I used to consider tacky.

I am going to have people RSVP to an e-mail address for my daughter's bat mitzvah.

I began brainstorming this a few days ago as I drove back from meeting with a woman who sells invitations and stationery. My least expensive option was about $700 for invitations, response cards and thank-you cards.

I went on line and found some nice invitations for a much more reasonable price. I realized how much money we'll save if we skip the response cards (about $150) and the cost of stamps to go with them.

But in terms of thank-you notes, I'm not yet ready for my daughter to thank people by e-mail!

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How ironic that the county where parents lobbied the Legislature so hard to make school start dates later has it taken away from us, thanks to our own county school administration.

As reported today by the SunSentinel's Marc Freeman, the state Board of Education accepted the Palm Beach County School District's request for a waiver from the state's rule that school can't start earlier than two weeks before Labor Day. The district says it wants semester exams to be completed before winter break and couldn't squeeze them in with an Aug. 24 start.

I don't know why Palm Beach County can't do what the rest of the state does, or the rest of the country. Everywhere else, kids come back from winter break and take their exams, and they do as well as or even better than our kids.

I wonder if the state Board of Ed realizes they are opening a Pandora's Box with this exception. It will be interesting to see if other counties make similar requests, making the state law parents worked so hard for irrelevant.

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Since my kids have taken over my car radio, I am getting to know their music.

They've been singing the lyrics to "Right Round," by Flo Rida (pictured here), which sounds suspiciously like a song from my youth, "You Spin Me Around (Like A Record)," by Dead or Alive. However, Flo Rida's lyrics are basically obscene:

"You spin my head right round, right round
When you go down, when you go down down"

and

"From the top of the pole I watch her go [down]
She got me throwin my money a[round]
Ain’t nothin more beautiful to be [found]
It’s goin down down."

It's both amusing and disturbing to hear my kids sing these lyrics when they don't know what they mean. However, a growing number of studies show kids who like these songs are more likely to engage in teen sex.

Which brings up many questions: How do you control what your kids are listening to? And if you are with them when a song like "Right Round" comes on, does changing the channel encourage them to find ways to listen to it when you're not there?

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Upperclassmen at my daughter's high school visited freshmen last week to get them psyched about taking Advanced Placement, or college-level, classes.

They touted the advantages, mostly that the freshmen will impress colleges and potentially can get college credit in high school if they do well on the final AP exam. Needless to say, these classes are very challenging, with lots of reading, homework and constant difficult tests.

My daughter, a freshman, already takes one AP class, Human Geography (it's a geography/culture/population patterns class), and wants to take two and possibly three next year. She's a great student, but I think three is too many for a sophomore.

Behind this push is something the schools don't publicize: They get extra money for every kid who passes the final. The Palm Beach County School District expects to collect more than $6 million, or $659 per student who passes, this year. The money goes to teacher bonuses, training and exam fees.

I'm not begrudging teachers their bonuses or schools some extra money, but do we have to pressure the kids this way? I want my daughter to be challenged but not at the expense of her sanity.

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When the state Legislature approved a law preventing schools from starting more than two weeks before Labor Day, I thought we were safe.

But the Palm Beach County School District is now seeking a waiver from the law, as SunSentinel reporter Marc Freeman explained in this story.

If the district followed the law, school would start Aug. 24. But the district wants school to start a week earlier.

Officials say teachers, parents and students want the first semester to end before Winter Break. They say students don't like the stress of having to worry about the exams they will have to take when their two-week vacation is over.

But I am skeptical of this excuse. Do you know any kids who have complained about it? The majority of school districts across the country finish their first semesters after Winter Break.

I think the district wants more time to drill for FCATs. Can't think of any other good reason why Palm Beach County would have to be different from the rest of the country.

I hope Save Our Summers-Florida, the group that pushed for the law, revives its campaign and makes sure Palm Beach County does not get this silly waiver.

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If Bernard Madoff had made off with my life savings, I'm sure I would see him as the devil incarnate.

But I'm not sure I would want to pass along that anger to my kids. That's why I find the new "Smash-Me Bernie" doll, with a likeness of Madoff dressed as a devil, so disturbing.

The doll, which was unveiled yesterday at the New York Toy Fair, comes with a hammer so investors or anyone else can get out their frustrations on Bernie.

My first impression was that it was anti-Semitic: portraying a Jewish man associated with Jewish money as the devil.

But Andy Rosenkranz, Florida regional director of the Anti-Defamation League, told me the doll is simply "in poor taste."

"There's nothing that brings up the fact that he's Jewish," Rosenkranz said. "However, to advocate violence, even as a joke, is not a good thing."

This joke is clearly intended for adults: It will sell for $99.95. But who would shell out a hundred bucks for a doll like this? It's unlikely Madoff investors will want to invest in the likeness of the man who ruined them.

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My first daughter is done with her braces. My second child is about to enter "Phase 2."

I am told Number Three will need braces too. It makes me wonder: Is there a child in America today who does not need braces?

I don't know anyone who has visited an orthodontist for a consultation and been told that their kids' teeth are fine. Every kid needs lots of metal over a course of several years, with some combination of braces, retainer, brackets, rubber bands, spacers, head gear and tooth removal.

I went to the Web site of the American Association of Orthodontists and learned that imperfect teeth are not only unsightly but can cause tooth decay and are more prone to break in an accident.

I don't deny this, but I also can't deny the thousands of dollars it costs for each kid. So I'm wondering: Is there anyone out there who did not have orthodonture and your teeth are fine? And is there a kid out there who went to a South Florida orthodontist for a consultation and was told there was no need to come back?

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Like the rest of the country, I am reading every word about Nadya Suleman, the California mother of six who just gave birth to octuplets.

The lurid details continue to fascinate: She is single. The first six were also born by artificial insemination. One of the first six is autistic. Her mother is refusing to help her anymore.

But for me, the key questions are: How could the doctors allow this? Who is paying for the babies' hospital care (taxpayers?)? Who will support these children financially (a book deal)?

At the end of this report is a good quote from a Parkland psychologist, Judith Horowitz, who works on fertility issues: "This woman could not comprehend the ramifications of having eight children of the same age at the same time...After Pampers stops delivering the free diapers, then what?"

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Every year I dread Girl Scout cookie season and get excited about it at the same time.

As Girl Scout parents, we are asked to sell so many cookies that it's pretty burdensome. At the same time, almost no one says no when you ask them to buy.

According to Girl Scouts of South-East Florida, nine out of 10 people will buy cookies if asked. Despite the recent peanut scare and kosher-labeling problems, the flavors are so unique (think Thin Mints, Thanks-A-Lots and Samoas) and the time frame so limited ( Jan. 22 to Feb. 10), that many people stock up on their favorites so they can last into next year.

For the second year, you can also donate Cookies for the Military. Last year, more than 19,000 boxes were delivered to military personnel.

Click here to find cookie sales locations in Broward and here for Palm Beach County.

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I told my kids NBC's "Momma's Boys" was silly and prurient, but then I got hooked.

I enjoyed watching the interaction of the twenty-something men with their mothers, whom they clearly adored but were trying to break away from.

The premise: The three men get to choose among 32 women, similar to other dating shows. But their mothers also get a say, and they all had strong opinions, including Lorraine Nichols of Sunrise, whose son, Michael Sarysz of Plantation, a firefighter/paramedic pictured here, went against her wishes to choose Amanda, a medical student.

What irritated me initially were the obvious nose jobs and breast enhancements of most of the young women, some of whom had appeared in Playboy and Penthouse and were seeking further media attention. But ultimately the mother-son relationships, so deep and complicated, won me over.

Although the series is over, you can still watch it here. Here's looking at Season Two!

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The time is coming for my husband and me to do our biennial ritual: Give our daughter a bat mitzvah party.

Our three girls are two years apart, and no. 2's bat mitzvah will be in September. We are wrestling with how much to spend when we don't have money to splurge.

My first daughter's party was not an expensive affair, but it was good enough. However, we have even less money now for the upcoming event.

We went to a bar mitzvah this past Saturday night and saw a performance by The Amazing Bottle Dancers, which I really enjoyed. I would love to have something like that at our party, but extras like that are out of the question because of the cost, whatever it is.

Got any money-saving tips for putting on a classy event on a low budget?

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I decided a few years ago not to give my daughters the Gardasil vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. I felt and still feel it wasn't tested enough and has too many side effects.

The shot used to be for pre-teen and teenaged girls. But now boys may get a chance to get stuck. Merck is seeking FDA approval for boys ages 9 to 26 to get the vaccination to prevent genital warts.

Merck also wants permission to expand the shot's age range to women as old as 45, even though Gardasil is designed to prevent cervical cancer, not cure it.

Meanwhile, information about negative side effects continues to mount. As one doctor whose oldest daughter was devastated by the shot told CBS News: "As the father of three girls, I've had to ask myself why I let my eldest one get an unproven vaccine against a few strains of a nonlethal virus that can be dealt with in many more effective ways. It's not like they are at high risk. It was the regrettable acceptance of the vaccine party line that [mis]led me."

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Do your kids download music from the Internet? Looks like they're not likely to get sued anymore, but trouble still might be brewing for them (and us).

The Recording Industry Association of America is trying a new tack to get people to stop illegally downloading music they are supposed to pay for. Instead of suing the pirates, the RIAA is working with unnamed Internet service providers to slow down or possibly cut off service to people who illegally download music.

You could get a polite e-mail asking you to stop, or another possibility, according to Ben Patterson, a Yahoo! tech blogger: a charge on your cable bill, similar to an I-tunes bill.

I can see why kids (and adults) can't resist downloading music when there appears to be no penalty. But I sympathize with the music industry too: The Wall Street Journal says record companies sold 500 million CDS and albums in 2007, down from 656 million in 2003.

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It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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What do we tell our kids about why people are protesting our governor's wedding on Friday?

According to GaySoFla.com, members of Impact-Florida will protest Gov. Charlie Crist's wedding to Carol Rome at a St. Petersburg church and will follow the reception to the Renaissance Vinoy.

The protesters want to point out that Crist, who voted for Amendment 2, has the right to marry, a right they believe gays and lesbians should also have.

After the demonstration, participants plan to gather at the Green Iguana, a bar in Tampa where Crist hung out as a bachelor.

Although I want to be up front with my kids about sexual issues, I often get tongue tied after the first sentence or two. I found some good suggestions here on how to keep the conversations on gay marriage simple and direct.

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Among the many details that have emerged about the murders of almost 200 people in Mumbai, including Rabbi Gavriel Holtzberg and his wife, Rivkah, is that two of their children have suffered from Tay-Sachs, a deadly genetic disease.

It's a lipid storage disorder often found among Jews of Eastern European descent. The children become blind and deaf and their muscles atrophy. There is no cure and they die at a young age.

The Holtzbergs had one son who died of the disease and another who is currently being treated for it in an Israeli hospital. Rivkah Holtzberg was pregnant when she was killed. The couple also has a two-year-old son, Moshe, who apparently witnessed the murder of his parents but was rescued by his nanny.

Clearly the couple knew they were carriers, but as Orthodox Jews, they likely believed God commanded them to have many children. It's a devastating dilemma that many of us have to go through to different degrees in our own lives.

There's a Boca Raton-based foundation, the Matthew Forbes Romer Foundation, that assists people with questions about genetic disorders. Click here for more information.

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I love the Rev. Ed Young's acronym for KIDS: Keeping Intimacy at a Distance Successfully.

Young, pastor of Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas, created the "Seven Days of Sex" program, in which he encourages his churchgoers to have sex every day for a week. He promises it will improve their relationships. There's a branch of Young's church in South Miami.

Young says kids are often used as an excuse for couples not to have sex. This is not news to anyone who is married, although few want to admit it. It takes a lot of work to maintain an intimate life in the face of jobs, house payments, a sour economy, whining kids and a million other commitments.

So I think Young, pictured here with his wife, is on to something with this "sexperiment," as he calls it. It will be interesting to see if it leads to a happier congregation or even more divorces.

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I used to send my kids to local camps over winter break so they could do something constructive while I was at work.

But now that they are in the double digits, they groan at the idea of another organized activity. Fortunately I found something fun for them to do and they have actually agreed to it.

Publix has opened a cooking school in Boca Raton called Apron's. They are doing a Kids' Survivors Camp Dec. 29 and 30, in which kids can learn some basic recipes and cooking skills.

How could they say no to learning to make (and eat) pretzels, blondies, brownies, empanadas and churros?

Cost is $70. For more information, click here.

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Teens who are more comfortable talking about their problems electronically might prefer this new counseling service offered by the Ruth Rales Jewish Family Service in West Boca.

Teen Talk offers professional therapy for troubled teens no matter where they live. They can communicate by e-mail (markc@rrjfs.org) or phone (561-852-3333 or 800-393-5397) with a licensed clinical social worker.

The site is cited in the November issue of YouthToday, a national newspaper for people who work with kids.

It's a great idea. How many teens make an appointment with their school counselor when they have a problem? Or ask their parents if they can talk privately with a therapist? This way, they can remain anonymous and unload on a professional who will make sure they get quality help in a style they're comfortable with.

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I got a letter yesterday from my fourth grader's school that I wasn't sure how to interpret.

The school is also a polling place. Palm Beach County schools are open today, Election Day. As explained in this Sun-Sentinel story, some parents are concerned about their kids' safety when the schools have to abandon some security procedures to allow voters in.

The administrators also seem to be concerned, as our school principal expressed in this letter.

"All classrooms will be following the District Code Yellow protocols, keeping all doors locked and allowing only essential hallway activity. There will be no recess and cafeteria lunches will be delivered to the classroom."

"Teachers are being directed to review previously covered material and to not assign homework as we anticipate high student absenteeism during Election Day."

So are they encouraging us to keep our kids home? Either close the schools on Election Day or keep them open, but don't give us these cryptic messages that imply that the day will be a waste and it may be better to play hookey.

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I never know how much to restrict my kids' Halloween candy intake.

Am I a total party-pooper if I tell them they can only have two pieces at a time? Or am I negligent if I let them eat lots more?

As I've been thinking about this candy dilemma, I came across this list of "The Best Candy Ever" from babble.com. I'm partial to chocolate candy, but this list brought back lots of memories from my childhood trick or treating days, including Pumpkin Peeps, Sugar Babies and Dots.

On the other end of the sweets spectrum, the American Association of Orthodontists has a list of treats to avoid if your kid wears braces, including caramel, candy corn, nuts and bubble gum.

Do you let your kids indulge at Halloween? Or do you play Scrooge like me?

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I remember when the Internet and other new technologies started becoming popular around 15 or so years ago and everyone thought it would cause families to communicate less and become isolated from each other.

A study released this week by the Pew Internet & American Life Project shows that not only wasn't that true, the opposite happened. The technology has allowed us to have a "new connectedness."

Cell phones, e-mail and texting allow us to keep in touch when we're not together. Families go on-line together; I am always asking my kids to show me how to find things on the Internet and visa versa.

But the technology can also create tensions. "Those with multiple communication devices are somewhat less likely to eat dinner with other household members and somewhat less likely to report high levels of satisfaction with their family and leisure time than are families with lower levels of technology ownership."

Have you found technology has aided you in relating to your kids? Or is it more a source of friction?

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As a kid, I felt very insecure when my parents would tell me about their cash-flow problems. What was I supposed to do with that information? So I have been hesitant to talk to my girls about our national and personal financial challenges.

Despite my hesitations, the news is almost impossible to avoid. I am trying to figure out the best way to begin the conversation.

I told my nine-year-old she could no longer take gymnastics at her favorite place because it is too expensive ($97 a month for a weekly lesson). I could see she felt bad, and confused. To her, the idea that it is "expensive" is pretty meaningless. And she wasn't sure what to do with the fact that a place she loved was putting a burden on the family. I found another gym that was less costly, but she declined.

Parenting Web sites, such as ParentCentral.ca, tell you this national crisis is a good time for kids to learn the value of money and how to economize. Sure, they can start saving their pennies. But how much do you tell them to convey the enormity of the crisis? It just seems like a heavy load for young kids to absorb.

What kind of economic conversations have you been having with your kids?

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Atlanta's gas crisis appears to be over, but for some reason I am fearful that our South Florida stations also will run out of gas.

Every time I pass the cheapest gas station near my house now, I fill up, even if I only need a quarter of a tank.

Metro Atlanta stations ran out of gas after Hurricane Ike late last month. Experts said the pipeline that brings gas to "the Southeast" (not sure why it didn't affect us here) got disrupted. So Atlanta stations started placing limits on how much gas you could buy. Many ran out of gas and didn't get refills for days, creating miles-long lines at stations that did have gas.

My state of panic is not helped by my gas-guzzling minivan. It means I have to top off my car every three or four days! Please help me calm down and allay my fears that we will always have plenty of gas in South Florida (ha!).

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I thought my daughter was playing a joke on me when she said PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, was urging Ben & Jerry's ice cream to switch its creamy base from cow's milk to breast milk.

She wasn't, although I am still incredulous. PETA sent the letter to the famous Vermont ice cream makers last week.

The animal rights group admits it got the idea from a Swiss restaurant, which is using breast milk in its soups and sauces.

Can you imagine any company in America trying this? Breast milk is made for babies; I'm not sure if there are any benefits for adults or if you can even cook with breast milk. I'm certain, though, that few American consumers have the palate for a breast-milk-based product.

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It's hard to believe there are still public schools that ask teens to sign pledges that they will be virgins until they get married.

According to a study by Columbia University, 88 percent of teens break these pledges. It's clear these vows are made under pressure and do not work.

At the Open House at our high school last week, I was shocked to hear my daughter's health teacher say she was inviting one of these abstinence programs, called Be The One, into her classroom. And yes, she said when I asked her in an e-mail the next day, they are going to ask the kids to sign the pledge.

The national teen pregnancy rate is going down, but it's not because of abstinence programs funded by the federal government. According to the Guttmacher Institute, the rate is going down because kids are getting more savvy about contraception.

So that is what health classes should be teaching. As for me, I told my daughter she does not have to sign the pledge.

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My 14-year-old is clamoring to get her learner's permit next year.

But I am hesitant. A 15-year-old does not belong behind the wheel, even with a parent next to her.

Will we be able to resist the pressure? A new recommendation is giving me support. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety is asking states to change the minimum driving age to 17 or higher.

New Jersey is the only state where 17 is the driving age, and there are a lot fewer teen accidents there. According to cbsnews.com, there were 18 teen driving deaths per 100,000 in New Jersey in the 1990s, compared with 26 per 100,000 in Connecticut, where the driving age is 16.

I know I can give my daughter lots of rules about driving that go beyond the law, such as restricting the hours and how many people are in the car. But the problem is not her; it's the other drivers on our crazy South Florida roads.

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Would you make your teen get married if she got pregnant?

We got an uncomfortably close view of this type of very personal teen drama when the pregnant Bristol Palin, 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and her "fiance," Levi Johnston, took the stage at the Republican convention last week.

I couldn't take my eyes off this young couple and kept wondering how their "engagement" came about. Were they going to get married anyway? Or is it being forced upon them for political expediency?

Studies show about half of teen marriages end in divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of adults who marry after age 25. So Bristol and Levi are likely to have a failed marriage on top of a baby in their teen years, not to mention immaturity issues (you probably read about Levi calling himself a "f----n redneck" and saying he didn't want kids on his MySpace page).

What are your thoughts on this shotgun marriage? Are Bristol and Levi doing the right thing?

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I'm all for women achieving the highest political offices. But at what point do you have too many kids to take on the nation's second, and potentially first, most important job?

Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin's kids are 19, 17, 14, 7 and four months. The four-month-old has Down syndrome. The 17-year-old is pregnant.

Palin's family issues have ignited debates among women across the country, sometimes switching stereotypes. Lots of normally conservative women are cheering her ability to juggle family issues and political life, while some normally liberal women are wondering whether she can handle so many heavy responsibilities.

What's your take? Can Palin be supermom and Vice President? Or are five kids too much for a VP to handle?

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There is no good reason that high school starts each day at 7:28 a.m.

Anyone with teenagers knows how difficult it is to rouse them out of a deep sleep at 6 or 6:30 a.m. That's because their puberty-loaded body clocks have shifted, not letting them fall asleep until 10:30 or 11 p.m., according to the Mayo Clinic. Studies show teenagers need at least eight, and preferably nine or 10 hours of sleep a night.

Obviously, it's impossible for them to be alert and performing at their maximum when they're sleep deprived. But local school districts refuse to change the schedules, citing after-school jobs, extracurricular activities and bus driver complications. Give me a break! What's more important?

Middle school start times around 9:30 a.m. are similarly absurd. Many kids I know, just out of elementary school, have to leave their empty houses and walk themselves to the bus stop because their parents have already left for work.

Can we do something about this? How can we get the school districts to take a serious look at this?

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Some college presidents believe 18-year-olds are mature enough to make rational decisions about how much to drink.

More than 100 have lent their support to the Amethyst Initiative, which theorizes that the drinking age just encourages those under 21 to binge and break the law with their fake IDs. If 18-year-olds can vote, enlist in the military and serve on juries, they say, why can't they order at a bar?

Some big-name universities have signed on, including the presidents of Dartmouth, Duke, Ohio State, University of Maryland and Syracuse.

Do you think the drinking age should go down to 18? Or do you think the higher age prevents car accidents and stupid decisions?

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I'm about to enter a new era in family chaos: three kids at three different schools, elementary, middle and high.

Each school starts at a different time (7:28 a.m. high school, 8 a.m. elementary school, 9:30 a.m. middle school), which means I will be making sure a different kid gets off at the right time for about two hours each morning, at least in the beginning. I will also be giving up my morning exercise routine until I figure out how to squeeze it in amid the comings and goings.

But on my mind even more is how to divide my volunteer time. I can't volunteer at three schools. Or can I? I am already besieged with e-mails from each school asking me to help out at back-to-school events. I have not responded to any of them, feeling like I am being disloyal to one of the kids if I pick their sibling's school.

How have you handled having kids at different schools and divvying up your volunteer efforts?

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With 139,000 miles and a constantly expanding list of problems brewing in my 2000 Toyota Sienna, the time is approaching for me to get a new car.

But what to buy? There are no hybrid minivans out there. Although the Sienna gets about 22 miles per gallon, I would like a car with better fuel efficiency. A new car is going to have to be smaller if I want better mileage. I'd have to find a way to squeeze in my kids and their friends.

Then again, maybe I should keep fixing this one. The latest repair it needs: a charcoal canister, canister valve and vacuum switch blade. Toyota says this repair will cost $996. I'm checking with my local mechanic to see what he would charge. But at a certain point, I'm going to have to say good-bye to this very reliable old minivan.

How do you decide when to get a new car?

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I was accepting the fact that my 11-year-old will get her first cell phone in the next year or so, but a new warning is giving me pause.

The director of the University of Pittsburgh's Cancer Institute, Dr. Ronald B. Herberman, told his staff last week they should limit their cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer. He said children should only use cell phones for emergencies because the phones' electromagnetic radiation could affect their developing brains.

Although lots of studies have shown no link between cell phones and cancer, cell phones have not been around long enough to study their long-term effects. I have a feeling we aren't going to like what we hear 20 years from now about these toys that have become so important to us.

But it's also become almost impossible to raise a kid today without giving them a cell phone. Even if you tell them not to use it too often and to use a headset, they are going to do what they want when you're not nearby.

What kind of limits have you placed on your kids' cell phone use?

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There are pictures of me as a little girl with hair past my shoulders and probably halfway down my back. But I haven't had long hair since junior high.

So I can't relate to my three girls, ages 9, 11 and 14, who refuse to even get their hair trimmed. The lengths range from the shoulders to the butt.

They are no longer at an age where I can make them go for haircuts. I have been thinking about bribery.

Why am I so obsessed with them getting their hair cut? It simply will look better. I think it will be more flattering to their faces. It will be easier for them to wash and brush. Why do they need to look exactly like everyone else? And on and on.

I know at some point I will have to give up on nagging and wait 'til they come to me and say they want a haircut. Any ideas for incentives in the meantime?

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A plastic gallon of milk has always been too unwieldly for a little kid to pour. But I'm afraid a newly engineered jug might be even worse.

According to this story from The New York Times, the new shape, being sold at some Wal-Mart and Costco stores, saves the grocer storage space and needs less washing, thus saving water. Fewer truck runs also need to be made because more milk can fit in the cab.

The new shape, apparently the wave of the future, is supposed to save us consumers money: 10 to 20 cents a gallon.

I'm all for saving gas and water. But I'm skeptical those savings will be passed along to us.

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It's hard to imagine a husband and a wife sharing child-care, financial and domestic responsibilities in a perfect 50-50 split.

But there's an organization out there, with a devoted following, dedicated to making sure parents split duties with perfect egalitarianism. Detailed in a New York Times article last Sunday that's been on the most e-mailed list for the past few days, the story explores how despite the best of intentions of our post-feminist generations, women inevitably end up doing more housework, curtailing their career ambitions and spending more time taking care of the kids.

That is my story, so of course I could relate to the statistics that showed the imbalance. I was intrigued, though, to see there are couples out there who don't accept that and have created detailed systems, with help from ThirdPath Institute, to divvy up responsibilities equitably and enthusiastically.

How have you split up child care duties with your spouse? Who cleans the house? Who makes more money?

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With 137,000 miles on my 2000 Toyota Sienna minivan, it's going to be time soon to get a new car.

I want to get a hybrid so I can use less gas and feel less pain as it climbs past $4. But as far as I can tell, there are no hybrid minivans out there.

Toyota may be releasing a hybrid minivan next year, but according to Hybridcenter.org, a project of the Union of Concerned Scientists, they may not, even though they have some in Japan. I was intrigued to read Toyota received 18,000 signatures on a petition asking the company to bring a hybrid minivan to the U.S.

So if I can't get a hybrid minivan, what is the biggest car I can get with the best mileage to shlep the kids around town?

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Can you picture our kids refusing to take the FCAT? Some eighth graders in the Bronx refused to take a practice exam for their end-of-the-year state social studies test and now their teacher may get fired.
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According to this story in the New York Daily News, the entire eighth grade at Intermediate School 318 handed in blank exams and petitions that listed their grievances, which included "constant, excessive and stressful testing."

There seems to be a question about whether their social studies teacher coaxed them into doing this. But I was intrigued by the teenagers' courage. It's hard to imagine our Florida kids taking a similar risk, and I'm not sure I'd want them to. Still, I give the Bronx kids credit for taking a stand.

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I thought I knew it all regarding teaching my kids about who is allowed to touch them and how they should report it. But I have to admit I learned a lot while covering a presentation last week to kids by the Diocese of Palm Beach.

Kit Johansen, who directs the diocese's Office of Serving Children, offered several tips beyond the standard "tell an adult if someone touches you," including:

Don't make kids hug or kiss adults, even if they're relatives.

Have your child make lists of adults they feel comfortable with and adults who give them the creeps, and then have a conversation about these people.

Be familiar with the adults who hang out in community gathering places, such as parks, playgrounds, ball fields, swimming pools. These grown-ups could be casing out us parents to see how much attention we're paying to our kids.

Tell the kids to blame us if they want to get out of an uncomfortable situation. "My mother doesn't want me to" is a fine excuse.

The diocese, and all the dioceses across the country, are doing these presentations to make people more aware of sex abuse. It's in response to the priest molestation scandals that made big news in 2002. Although the seminars may not get to the core of the problem, at least they're getting parents to think about the many opportunities there are for kids to encounter creepy adults.

For more information and tips, go to this Web site: http://virtusonline.org/virtus/preview_pgc.cfm

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My 11-year-old is invited to a birthday party. Times three.

She is a close friend of one of the triplets, an acquaintance of one of the others, and not friendly with the third.

Although my impulse is to be generous and get them all a present, I am watching my pennies in this depressing economy. So anything I buy times three is money that could have been spent elsewhere.

I'm sure this comes up pretty frequently now that multiple births are so common. Do we need to buy three gifts for their birthday party? And if the answer is yes, does it have to be the same gift for all three?

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I started out with good intentions, but my plan to teach my kids about local vegetable farming failed.

Last summer, I decided to subscribe to Green Cay Produce, a Boynton Beach farm that sells and delivers its vegetables to local homes. It was expensive ($400 to receive a box every other week from October through May, or about $22 per box, plus $5 per box for them to deliver it to the house), but we would get a chance to support a local farmer, see our vegetables grow and see if they taste better straight from the vine.

As the deliveries began, I immediately detected a problem: There were lots of vegetables my kids and my husband were not going to eat. The farm sent over about half a dozen yellow squash and zucchini each time, and there was always lots of arugula, scallions, radishes and eggplant that my family wouldn't go near.

Some of the vegetables ended up going to waste, which I felt terrible about (How much yellow squash can one person, me, eat?) And my kids never got to see the farm up close because we had other plans on their Visiting Day.

So because of the expense and the refusal of my family to try new veggies, I am not going to renew my subscription. Hopefully local growers will start selling their wares at centrally located markets; that way, I can still support them but have more choices as to what I want to buy each week.

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OMG!!! TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!:)

That's how I would write it if I were still a teen. But as an adult, I have to write it like this: Today is my birthday.

Because even though I still get that tremendous thrill of anticipation as the day approaches, I always end up unsatisfied.

The day never lives up to the expectation created in me as a kid and maintained into adulthood. I go to work. I drive the kids around town after school. I am not the center of attention, as my kids are when it's their big day.

Some adults make sure everyone knows it's their birthday, but to me, that always seems like a pathetic cry for attention. I live at the other extreme, where I tell few people and end up disappointed.

Do your birthdays live up to your expectations?

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A New York mom who let her nine-year-old ride the subway alone (without a cellphone!) has unleashed criticism throughout the blogosphere for her supposed disregard for her son's safety.

In response, Lenore Skenazy, the allegedly uncaring mom and a columnist for the New York Sun, has started her own blog to encourage Free Range Kids, with the slogan: "Let's give our kids the freedom we had!"

Skenazy's son had been begging for more freedom to go places without her. She left him at Bloomingdale's and gave him a subway map, $20, a subway card and some quarters to call her in case of emergency. He made it home fine, but Skenazy has been deluged with scorn.

I grew up in a suburb similar to where I live now, and I used to walk everywhere, unaccompanied. As a teen, I took the train to New York City regularly - by myself. It's hard to imagine parents letting their kids do these activities today.

How much freedom do you give your kids to go to places without an entourage?

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I'm not sure I agree with Randi Gorenberg's family suing Town Center Mall in Boca Raton, but I'm glad her murder is staying in the news.

Her husband's lawyers held a news conference today to announce the lawsuit. She was killed in March 2007 after she left the mall. Her body was dumped in a park west of Delray Beach.

A few months later, a mother and daughter were murdered and their bodies found at the mall after they had left it a few hours earlier. It seems like no one talks about these incidents anymore.

Does everyone realize there is a murderer or murderers on the loose? The only change is there seem to be more security and police cars roaming the mall parking lot. But I'm afraid something bad is going to happen again before the criminals are caught.

Have you changed your mall shopping behavior since these incidents happened?

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I will never understand polygamy, but I can't help but sympathize with the Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints mothers whose children were taken away from them last week in Texas.

The state believes there was a "systematic process at the ranch of sexually exploiting and abusing children," so obviously there was good reason for the government to go in and figure out what was going on.

Still, to throw 416 children into our society when they have been isolated on a polygamous ranch their whole lives has got to be a devastating culture shock. And to be separated from their mothers, however complicit they were in the abuse, has to compound the trauma.

Kids are resilient and I'm sure these kids will recover. But there must have been a more gentle way to handle this, although I'm not sure what it is.

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It has become a college sport to ask Chelsea Clinton, when she is campaigning for her mother at college campuses, about her father's affair with Monica Lewinsky.

She has been asked three times in the past two weeks. Each time, she gives a different but non-committal answer.

"I think that is something that is personal to my family. I'm sure there are things that are personal to your family that you don't think are anyone else's business, either," she said during a visit to North Carolina State University in Raleigh last week. "But also on a larger point, I don't think you should vote for or against my mother because of my father."

I kind of liked that answer. It was better than the "none of your business" answer she gave the first time at Butler University in Indianapolis.

How do you think Chelsea should answer these questions? Do you think they're out-of-line?

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My 11-year-old just got back from a fifth-grade trip to Washington, D.C. My 13-year-old left today for Washington, Yorktown, Williamsburg and Jamestown.

In May, each girl will also go to Islands of Adventure with her school.

The 13-year-old will have taken seven trips by the end of this school year, either with school or our temple youth group. Although some of them, like the trip to Washington and the Revolutionary War sites, have been educational, what is the value of an end-of-the-year trip to Islands of Adventure?

These school-sponsored vacations cost a lot of money. Of course I could say no to some of them, and I have. But there's no need for schools to create these uncomfortable situations: Just stop offering these expensive and unnecessary holidays!

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Oh great. Two of my kids' favorite foods made it on to the list of the "Worst Foods in America."

In his book, "Eat This, Not That: The No-Diet Weight Loss Solution," Men's Health editor David Zinczenko lists 20 of the worst foods in different categories.

My kids drink the "Worst Drink," Jamba Juice Chocolate Moo’d Power Smoothie (166 grams of sugar) and eat the "Worst Kids' Meal," Macaroni Grill's Double Macaroni 'n' Cheese, with 62 grams of fat.

Fortunately they only eat these monsters a few times a year. But for some reason, I didn't see these foods as the poisons I guess they are.

Take a look at some of the others. Which of these do your kids devour in blissful ignorance?

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The new governor of New York, David Paterson, announced yesterday he had had several affairs. This comes right after it was discovered that the old governor, Eliot Spitzer, had hired prostitutes.

It seems like every day another male politician is caught in an out-of-marriage relationship. And for some reason, it is bothering me in the extreme.

I guess it's because I am seeing lots of marriages among my peers fall apart as we enter our 40s. People I know are having affairs, separating and getting divorced. Some of the tales are lurid, and others are simple: The couple just grew apart.

But I wonder if having an affair is becoming standard when couples are having problems. As Paterson put it: "We have a marriage like many Americans, maybe even many of you."

How about you? Have you had an affair? Did you go back to your marriage?

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My husband asked me when I am going to have "The Talk" with our three girls.

I told him talking about sex with our teen and pre-teens is an ongoing conversation that I don't schedule. I usually wait til they ask questions, something is going on in the news, or the mood strikes me.

I wasn't surprised to find out I am not initiating these conversations often enough. A study in the current issue of Pediatrics says repetition and depth are the keys to making your kid feel comfortable talking to you about sex.

"Adolescents whose sexual communication with their parents involved more repetition felt closer to their parents, felt more able to communicate with their parents in general and about sex specifically, and perceived that discussions with their parents about sex occurred with greater openness than did adolescents whose sexual communication with their parents included less repetition."

I am guessing that our many rides in the car will be a good place to get these conversations going. The Eliot Spitzer embarrassment is probably a good place to start. It definitely will be messy, but I am going to take the plunge.

Do you have a strategy for talking to your teen about sex?

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My oldest is only in eighth grade, but I am getting panicky about my kids getting into college, and us affording it.

There seems to be an endless barrage of news stories about the highly competitive nature of college admissions today, the constantly rising costs, the difficulty of getting into places like the University of Florida, and on and on and on.

The latest one that increased my anxiety said Florida's state university system may need to cut $92 million, which would include limiting the number of kids who get accepted.

Maybe the situation won't be as desperate in a few years when it's time for my kids to apply. But then again, it probably will be. Are you getting nervous, too?

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I have always thought that 16 was too young for a kid to drive a car, but I was surprised to read this week that a lot of Americans agree with me.

The New York Times reported on Monday that the percentage rate of licensed 16-year-olds across the country dropped from 43.8 percent in 1998 to 29.8 percent in 2006.

The pattern is similar in Florida, according to a Sun-Sentinel story last November. Sixteen-year-olds make up 40 percent of teen drivers, down from 60 percent in 1991.

Wow. That just blows me away. Because I don't know any parents of 16-year-olds here who have told their kids they must wait until they are 17 or even older to drive.

There were multiple reasons offered by the Times as possible explanations. The number of drivers ed programs in public schools appears to be dropping due to budget cuts, and parents may be hesitant to spend the money on expensive private driving lessons.

The price of insuring a driving teenager also is exploding. Parents have become more willing to drive their kids around. And teens are more willing to stay home, the theory goes, because of diversions such as the Internet and video games.

It will be interesting to see if this trend trickles down to our car-dependent culture here in South Florida. Do you impose, or plan on imposing, any driving restrictions on your teen?

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I have given up on buying birthday cards for the seemingly endless parties my kids attend.

I've found an alternative: calling cards.

The pre-printed cards give my kids' name, address, phone number and e-mail address. They are the size of business cards and can be tossed into a gift with little effort on my part.

Birthday cards are too expensive. I could tell my kids to make a card, but making sure they get it done becomes another thing on my never-ending to-do list.

I looked on-line and many of the cards ended up costing $1 a piece with the printing and mailing fees, which would not amount to a significant savings over store-bought cards. I bought the least expensive ones I could find that were decent-looking from DreamPress. They cost $12.99 for 50 cards plus mailing charges.

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OK! I made a mistake! I admit it!

I messed up my 11-year-old daughter's application to Don Estridge High Tech Middle School in Boca Raton, the computer-friendly and trendy magnet school that every fifth grader in Palm Beach County is dying to get into! I am ashamed!

I applied on-line and in my haste to get it done and get to the next thing on my to-do list, I checked the box next to the one I was supposed to. I found out last week, two months after I applied, when I got a confirmation postcard and it had the wrong school on it.

I called immediately and was told there was no possibility of changing it.

So I had to tell Rachel she could not attend Don Estridge, where she believes all her friends are going to be accepted (they won't; it's a random lottery and there are 1,000 kids competing for 420 sixth-grade spots). I told her the truth and admitted it was all my fault. She was crushed, hurt, depressed and angry.

Fortunately, this only lasted a couple of hours. I hoped she was watching the way I came clean and apologized.

Have you ever had to admit to your kids that you screwed up?

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Now there's another chemical we have to worry about in shampoos and packaging, a yucky sounding stabilizer called phthalates.

A new study shows more than 80 percent of infants have been exposed to phthalates (pronounced THA-lates), which have been linked with male reproductive problems. Phthalates are also found in cosmetics, children's toys, vinyl flooring and food packaging.

I don't have boys, but I am confident that anything connected with reproductive problems in one sex applies to us all. And I know the FDA "has no compelling evidence that phthalates pose a safety risk when used in cosmetics," according to one of their spokesmen, but I am not going to wait 10 years for them to announce that yes, it was true.

A couple of weeks ago, I went through all the shampoos and lotions in our house looking for parabens, which some studies have linked with breast cancer. Now I am going to scan the microscopic ingredient lists to look for phthalates, which are labeled DEP and DEHP, when they are labeled at all.

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My kids were thrilled to hear one of our relatives was pregnant and they would have a new baby cousin.

But a few days later, I had to tell them she had miscarried. My 9-year-old and 11-year-old had no idea there was a possibility a baby in the womb could die.

I said we don't know why these things happen. Maybe the baby wasn't going to be healthy and this was nature's way of ending it early. But they looked totally confused. And for some reason, I was tongue-tied, torn between going into the gory details and waiting to see what questions they would have.

I have since found this explanation at iVillage.com and I will use it if it ever comes up again. I like the kid-level analogy they use: When you plant tomatoes, they don't all sprout; same thing with human beings.

Have you had to talk to your kids about a miscarriage? What did you say?

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It happens every January: We commit to selling too many Girl Scout cookies, and the burden falls not on my girls, but on me and my husband.

In the first couple of days, the kids are thrilled to organize the cookies (nine varieties this year!) and go around the neighborhood selling ($3.50 a box). But then they tire of it. And we grown-ups do too.

We ask our co-workers and friends and relatives to buy cookies. And we still have cartons left.

We can return them to the troop leader, but then we would feel like we didn't do our duty, work hard enough, live up to Girl Scout ideals. So we will continue bugging everyone we know until they are gone.

Do you help your kids sell cookies? What's your strategy?

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