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Category: Luis Perez (16)

August 21, 2008

What's an appropriate birthday celebration for a 3 year old?

Today is Ana Isabel's third birthday. Hard to believe. Seems to me like she just got here.
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Funny thing with birthdays. For the third year in a row, my wife and I talked about an appropriate way to celebrate our daughter's annual milestone.

We discussed a party but decided against it. That to me seems, well, like a waste of time and money. I know that for many people it's the only way to go.

But here's what we're doing: Ana, her little brother and my wife went shopping for the ingredients to make her birthday cupcakes. They'll plan to spend today baking.

Tomorrow, they'll take the cupcakes to a monthly book club/playdate. And next week, I'm off of work and plan to spend time with her on my own and together as a family, going to the beach and maybe even a trip to Wannado City. And she's already received a ton of presents from family and friends.

We think all those activities are fun memorable ways to celebrate. Still, my wife said to me the other day that she feels funny when she tells others that we're not having a birthday party.

Maybe we'll have one next year when it'll mean more to my daughter. But for this year, I'm really looking forward to cupcakes, the beach, Wannado City and just spending time with Ana.

Is that so wrong?

An update: Last week, I blogged about Ana's reluctance to go on the potty. Well, two days later, she decided it was time. She went on the potty. We've had a few accidents. But there's progress. Thanks to those who gave us many tips. We have used some and it has helped.

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August 14, 2008

We're about to get militant on the potty training

My daughter turns 3 next week. And we have been turning up the heat on the potty talk, using different tactics to get Ana Isabel to use it. But nothing so far.
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We've had a plain potty in the bathroom for about a year. A few months ago, we started pushing the issue. We bought another one, this time a Dora potty. We've adorned it with stickers.

My wife bought an Elmo potty training DVD. We have potty training books for children, even one that flushes. Nothing.

Ana has gone as far as sitting on the potty and saying her "China" is broken. (That's her version of vagina.)

As Ana's birthday approaches, we fill a bit more pressure because she's now old enough to enroll in programs we'd like for her to take, such as gymnastics. But she has to be potty trained.

Up until now, we've operated under the premise that Ana will go on the potty when she's ready. But now, we're not so sure.

My wife's thinking of taking a harder-line. She's talking about letting Ana spend a day without a diapers or pants. That way, she'll poop and pee on herself. The hope is that it will make her uncomfortable enough so that the potty looks good. Of course, we'll be cleaning some major messes that day.

Are we just being impatient at this point or should we get militant with the potty training?

Discuss this entry

July 24, 2008

Knotted, tangled mess of a head

Following up on my colleagues post below about hair, my nearly 3-year-old daughter, Ana Isabel, wakes up most mornings with her hair looking like a rats nest.

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I mean it's bad. Really bad. So bad my wife and I have had to cut out knots in her hair.

We're perplexed on how to prevent it.

Ana has this beautiful long light-brown, almost blond, hair. It's thin and wispy. We don't shampoo it every night at bath time and we use gentle baby hair products.

My guess is that Ana is a thrasher as she sleeps. She whips her head back and forth on the pillow, which makes a mess of her hair overnight.

For the most part, the problem comes when it's time to comb her hair. She hates it. It become this long drawn out process to get her ready to go out of the house.

For me, this falls under the I-know-nothing-about-this aspect of being a dad to a little girl. I didn't anticipate it and I'm at a complete loss for what to do. Is it even something I should worry about?

Any suggestions?

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July 17, 2008

To Pre-K 3 or not? That is the question

Ana Isabel turns three next month. And all the talk among the parents of the three-year-old set is whether to send their children to Pre-K 3.

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First off, Ana seems a bit young to me to be going to school. For Pete's sake, she's not even potty trained yet. (But that's a question for another post).

I don't see the benefit of sending Ana to what's essentially glorified day care. She's a bright child already reciting the alphabet and counting up to 12 in English and Spanish. She gets to 20 with a little prodding. She speaks in full sentences, albeit short ones she repeats all the time like "I don't want to!"

I know there's an argument to be made for socializing children at this age. Ana gets along well with other children, shares and plays well with others.

The certified teacher that runs the Mommy-and-Me program that Ana attends told my wife that everything Ana would learn in Pre-K 3, can be taught at home with simple lessons.

So can someone please explain to me the benefits to sending my child to Pre-K 3?

Discuss this entry

July 10, 2008

Are you happier as a parent?

A Newsweek article summed it this way: NO!

It details research that says people with no children, fewer responsibilities, more time and money for themselves, are actually happier than those with children. Sounds good, no?

It made me think back to my bachelor days and when Carrie Ann and I first got married. Sure, we went to more parties, traveled more and drank more wine together. It was nice, I must say.

Now try to imagine life without your kids. That means no Ana Isabel running up to me when I walk in the door, arms stretched out yelling papi. That means no watching Lucas Emilio grow from a newborn into cooing, smiling baby. That means no watching Ana try to read a book to her brother. Or no Lucas smiling as his sister tries to cuddle with him.

Thanks. But no thanks.

Being a parent is hard. No doubt. But can you imagine life without your children in it? I can't.


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June 26, 2008

Gosh, my daughter is getting heavy

There's nothing better than when I walk into the house after work and Ana Isabel runs up to me yelling "papa."

I usually pick her up and give her a kiss. I ask her if she has been a good girl and ask about the day's activities. It's usually a short conversation, aside from the fact that she's not even 3 yet, I usually arrive just before bedtime.

There are other times when I pick her up and carry her around. At the mall, during walks to the store or when she wakes in the morning. But since her brother, Lucas Emilio, arrived two months ago Ana wants me to carry her all the time. She was 35 pounds at her last doctor's visit. So my arm hurts after a while.

My wife says Ana has me wrapped around her little fingers. Maybe so. But I see the time when I'm going to have to stop just because my arm is about to be pulled out of its socket.

Any suggestions on how to encourage my daughter from making that same request over and over and over. My arm would sure appreciate it.


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June 4, 2008

What to do when a five-week catches a cold?

My almost three-old-year old daughter, Ana Isabel, caught a cold at Mommy and Me. And she brought it home, promptly sharing it with her little brother, Lucas Emilio, who is five weeks old.

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Not exactly the kind of sharing we would like. Nonetheless, we never had to deal with a sick Ana at this age since she didn't have other little children brining home germs.

Lucas mostly sounds congested and he makes a lot of noises when he sleeps. Before this came on, he was sleeping in three and four hour stretches, which was great for a kid his age. Not any more.

We have a suction bulb that we use to clear his nose. And we prop up his body so the mucus can drain when he sleeps. I know some say a humidifier can help loosen up the congestion.

But is there anything else that we can do to deal with a cold in baby at this age? I know drugs are out. A tired and sleep papa would welcome any suggestions.

Discuss this entry

May 22, 2008

When is Ana going to go on the potty?

We now have a newborn and my 33-month-old daughter in diapers.

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The only good thing about that is that we have races to see who can get their diaper changed faster, Ana or Lucas. He's three weeks old. That way Ana won't fuss about a diaper change as she often does.

But we think it's time that she starts learning to go on the potty. We have two: A plain one and a Dora one. But so far, no interest.

Ana says she's scared of the flush.

A friend of my wife let us borrow a couple of potty books. My mother-in-law got her big-girl underwear. And we talk about the using the potty often.

I know there's a school of thought that says she'll go on the potty when she's ready and to push her only invites a lot of cleaning up little accidents.

But I got think there's more we can do to encourage her using the potty. Any suggestions?


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May 15, 2008

Lucas Emilio arrived. So does that mean shelling out big bucks for a birth announcement?

Lucas Emilio was barely two days old and already someone was pulling at momma’s and papi's heartstrings to spend money. The photographer in the hospital wanted to take pictures, which, of course, she would sell to us.

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My wife didn't have the heart or the energy to say no. She was recovering from giving birth to a beautiful, healthy baby boy. (7 pounds 6 ounces and 19.5 inches long). So about the 15th time the photographer came in and just as we were getting ready to leave the hospital, I said no thank you. The woman seemed shocked. She actually made a pouty face.

Not that we didn't want to record the moment. We have a standard digital camera. I have taken hundreds and hundreds of pictures already. Some of them actually turned out pretty good. We're using three of them for the birth announcement and we're using one of the online photo sights to print it up and send it out. That's saving us the hundreds of dollars we paid for our daughter's birth announcement when she was born almost three years ago.

I guess we are just a little bit smarter the second time around on baby spending.

Do you have any other money saving ideas for that second child?

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April 24, 2008

What's a child to do while mommy is in the hospital having another child?

Everything in our lives right now revolves around the pending birth of Lucas Emilio. He's scheduled to arrive via C-section next week.

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My wife, Carrie Ann, is at that point where she can't get comfortable in any position. I worry about having all the last minute errands done.

My daughter, Ana Isabel, well she seems to be the least worried. Of course, she'll be three in August. So her focus is playing with mommy or papi or a best friend she makes that day. Still, Ana knows she's going to become a big sister next week.

My biggest worry is how will Ana handle her mommy being in the hospital for a few days. My mother-in-law is flying in to help. And I'll be off of work. So hopefully, we'll keep her busy. But still, the hospital can be a traumatic place for adults. And it's the first time Ana and momma won't be sleeping under the same roof overnight.

So what do you suggest for keeping a nearly three-year-old child from being traumatized by a hospital experience?

Discuss this entry

April 10, 2008

Baby Lucas arrives in three weeks

We're in the final countdown for my son, Lucas Emilio, to arrive. We're all very excited, including my daughter, Ana Isabel.

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My wife and I are scrambling. I'm finishing up house projects to get everything ready. My wife is pulling out all the baby stuff. And family members have booked their flights since Carrie Ann has a C-section scheduled.

That brings me to Ana. We have been telling her for months about Lucas' arrival. She's two and a half years old and seems to get it that there will be a new addition to the family.

Still, I don't want her to feel left out. I'm planning on doing more daughter and papi things with her. And we've put aside a few presents for her as well from our generous family, friends and colleagues.

Any other suggestions for keeping the jealous-sibling syndrome at bay? Or should we just be prepared to face it?

Discuss this entry

April 9, 2008

The great shoe debate

Ana Isabel is two and half and hates shoes.

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It doesn't help that my wife, who is nine months pregnant, often has swollen ankles and feet at this point. So she often ends up either barefoot or putting on sandals.

I'm the one always insisting that Ana put on her slippers or shoes. And it's not just about dirty feet either.

The other day Ana was walking with a noticeable limp. She favored her right leg.

Of course, I feared the worst. I worry that her bare feet hitting the cold, hard tiles in the house could have a detrimental effect on their development. I know that when I walk barefoot for too long, it hurts my feet.

We later realized that when Ana slipped trying to climb onto our bed in the morning she banged her ankle against the bed frame. It swelled for two days, but it's better now.

Still, it seems to me that Ana sometimes has a misstep in her walk.

Am I crazy or is it only natural for a toddler to reject the restrictions of footwear? Should papa stop being a fuddy duddy and just let Ana run wild bare foot?


Discuss this entry

March 27, 2008

Body parts, China and a two and half year old

This falls into the category of something I never thought about on my way to parenthood. But it happened one day a few weeks ago.

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Sometime back, my wife and I agreed on teaching our children the anatomical correct name for their body parts. It wasn't a big discussion, just something we sort of agreed on almost in passing.

Of course, most of this teaching goes on while I am at work. So I never really have given it that much thought until my daughter caught me off guard.

Her mother was at the doctor. And we were playing in the living room. She opened her mouth wide. I did the same. We did the aahhhh thing, each of us getting louder by the moment. Finally, I stopped and pointed in her mouth and said: "What's that in there? Is that China?"

That stopped Ana Isabel. "No, papa. That's not my China. This is my China," she said while doing a full-on Michael Jackson crotch grab. Vagina, China. It's all the same to a two and half year old. I just about fell out of the chair trying not to laugh.

I relayed the story to my wife. We laughed. It's better than the name her grandmother used to for the same body part, Carrie Ann said. Tootie. It confused her as a little girl when the sitcom "The Facts of Life" had a character with the same name.

So, how do you handle teaching your children about their body?

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February 7, 2008

Prepping for Lucas Emilio, Ana's Little Brother

So I've painted Ana' s old room a hue of blue as we wait for her little brother to arrive. Lucas Emilio is going in there and we moved Ana into the "big girl room," formerly the guest bedroom.

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This week, the doctor scheduled my wife, Carrie Ann, for her C-section. So we have a deadline of April 29 now to get everything ... and everyone ready.

I still need to insulate, put up drywall on the ceiling and paint the converted Florida room. That's going to be where our guests stay now that we don't have a guest bedroom anymore. We also have to buy a pullout couch. All that is the easy part, if you ask me.

Coordinating grandparents and friends visits without hurting feelings seems to be the bigger challenge. They're all coming from New York, New Jersey and Maryland. And they all want to come around the baby's birthday.

We want them all to visit. But we don't have a large house to fit everyone at the same time. Sometimes we feel like we're playing traffic cops.

So what do you think is the best way to handle our influx of well-meaning visitors who want to celebrate Lucas' arrival?

Discuss this entry

January 31, 2008

Fighting in front of Ana

My wife, Carrie Ann, and I have disagreements like any married couple. But most often we're careful not to get into heated debates in front of our daughter, now two and half.
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We've never had a yelling match in front of her. (Fortunately, those are rare.) Still, even when we are having a serious discussion; not a fight, with a lot of back and forth, Ana interrupts.

At times, it seems to me that it's more than her just wanting all the attention. She has even told us to stop. I've thought that maybe we should not have these talks in front of Ana. But sometimes they're hard to avoid.

It turns out, according to this piece on CNN and Parenting.com, that it's OK to fight in front of the kids. It's even healthy. So long as you're not nasty with each other. Interesting.

How do you handle fighting or having adult conversations in front of your children?

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January 17, 2008

My daughter's first bad cold

Ana Isabel has been an incredibly healthy child. She's had one bout of the sniffles with a runny nose before last week.
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We figure since Carrie Ann works from home and watches Ana, my daughter, now two and half, has had limited exposure to other children and germs. So she has been able to avoid a bad cold, up until now.

And now with all the news about cold and cough medicine not being good for you child, I'm not sure what we should do to try and relieve her symptoms. I suggested taking Ana to the doctor. But my wife says that while Ana has a cold she's mostly in good spirits. So a doctors visit may be premature at this point, since we'd rather not start dosing Ana with antibiotics just yet.

She had a slight fever the other day, nothing serious. We gave her Motrin for that and it seemed to work.

I just wonder what else we can do besides trying to find some contraband cough and cold medicine that was taken off the shelves for children. I figure if Ana's cold gets worse or is not getting better by next week, we're off to the pediatrician.

Meanwhile, what works for a stuffy head, cough and runny nose so that Ana can sleep through the night.

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The Transparent Team

Vicki McCash Brennan has been the editor of South Florida Parenting...more.

Joy Oglesby has an infant daughter and a sister 13 years her junior, whom she babies to the now-adult...more.

Rafael Olmeda is a stepfather to two girls, Kayla (15) and Paxtynn (12). They became a family when Rafael married the former Christine Clark...more

Luis F. Perez covers immigration...more.

Lois Solomon covers religion in Palm Beach County for the Sun-Sentinel by day...more.

Matthew Strozier is an assistant city editor, but his real job is father of two boys, Alexander, a toddler, and Rowan, a newborn...more

Anne Vasquez loves to worry, or so her husband says...more.

Daniel Vasquez, the Sun-Sentinel consumer columnist, comes from a large family...more.

Brittany Wallman is the mother of Creed, 11, and Lily, 5, and is married...more.

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