Women who have given birth looo-oo-ove to talk about it. They love to talk about all the gory details, they love to play "top that." Over drinks, on the soccer sidelines, at PTA events eventually and inevitably, there's a chorus of "when my water broke during the board meeting.....I pushed for 48 straight hours....and then my idiot husband....and the baby's head was as big as....."

OK, ok, since you asked. My favorite part was when I heaved myself over the hospital admissions desk and the idiot nurse, in her whiny stupid voice asks, "Are you in labor?" and I say, "No sh-- Sherlock." That was fun! Or some hours later when I screamed, "GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!!!" And the nurse screams back, "IT'S TOO LATE!!!" That wasn't as much fun.

But my stories are NOTHING compared to what you'll see on TLC network's new series: I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. This series promises to reveal "the astonishing stories of women who conceive and carry their babies all the way to labor and delivery, while never even knowing they were pregnant."

I'm still sitting here slack-jawed. There are enough women to make a SERIES out of this phenomenon?? Are you kidding me? It's been several years and the painful memories do fade, but lemme tell ya, I can still conjure up those backaches and swollen ankles and, well, I'll spare the details here. I can't imagine NOT KNOWING!

Tonight's debut episode at 9 p.m. sounds intriguing: "Nicci, a 31-year old mother of three goes into labor and gives birth at home with some surprising help from her 10-year-old son - and she didn't even know she was pregnant!" This is a woman with experience in these matters!

So you know where I'll be tonight at 9 p.m....pass the popcorn and the Chardonnay.

PHOTO: Photos.com

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There was an interesting post and discussion recently on The Motherlode, Lisa Belkin’s blog at nytimes.com, about how the economy is changing parents' plans for another child.

It’s a fascinating topic, and one that has come up in our household. The comments on Belkin’s post seem to cover the gamut of my thoughts on the question. I’m generally of the school that “there’s no right time to have a baby” but the recession does give one pause. I suppose, on the upside, it makes us consider how much we want a larger family. One could argue that, rather than make life more stressful, we would make sure to prepare more than ever for a recession baby.

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Like the rest of the country, I am reading every word about Nadya Suleman, the California mother of six who just gave birth to octuplets.

The lurid details continue to fascinate: She is single. The first six were also born by artificial insemination. One of the first six is autistic. Her mother is refusing to help her anymore.

But for me, the key questions are: How could the doctors allow this? Who is paying for the babies' hospital care (taxpayers?)? Who will support these children financially (a book deal)?

At the end of this report is a good quote from a Parkland psychologist, Judith Horowitz, who works on fertility issues: "This woman could not comprehend the ramifications of having eight children of the same age at the same time...After Pampers stops delivering the free diapers, then what?"

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Well, here goes everything.

If all goes according to plan, the next time I report in this space, I will be a biological father for the first time.

I've been a stepfather for the last 19 months, but it's not the same thing. I wasn't there for their births, for their first words or their first steps. I didn't see them off to school for the first time ever, and I missed maybe 100 dance recitals and performances. I've done what I can, screwed up plenty, tried to understand and tried to get them to understand.

I feel as though I have evolved so much in the last two years. I'm no longer the clueless bachelor stepping into fatherhood, but neither do I feel ready for what's coming in just three days. This tiny little boy is about to show up and change everything I've ever known.

Can I confess to being nervous? (Could I possibly deny it?)

One of the things I hear all the time from parents is that they wish they knew then what they know now: about parenthood, about being a father, about life, about children, about what makes a marriage strong...

Well, you can't go back in time, but you can throw a little bit of your hard-earned wisdom in my direction.

So let me have it. Give me one piece of advice, a piece of advice you wish you'd had before you became a dad for the first time.

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My son’s birth is less than two weeks away, so this request for advice is, I’ll admit, a little late. But maybe not for all our readers.

We picked our hospital based on a number of factors, not the least of which was the likelihood of getting a private room for my wife’s stay. Without a private room, the girls and I can’t stay the night. One hospital we checked couldn’t guarantee it, and was going to charge us extra if we were among the lucky few to get a private room. I’ll say that again: IF we were among the lucky few.

It would be one thing to save up for the private room if we could guarantee we’d get one when the time came, but the hospital actually advised us on how to rush out of the delivery room, down the hall, through the double doors, past Simon, Paula and Randy, up the stairs, around the kitchen and behind the laundry room to let them know we wanted a private room, IF one is available. And after all that, the answer could still be no!

Pardon me, but I’ll have other things on my mind in the minutes after my son’s birth. I can't follow the directions on a box of Lucky Charms. They expect me to remember how to get around that labyrinth in the minutes after my son is born?

We ended up scheduling the birth at a hospital where all the maternity rooms are private.

So here’s my question: What’s the best hospital in South Florida for giving birth? And by what standard? Privacy? Quality of care? Nursing staff? Security? Neonatal ICU? How do you judge?

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He’ll be here in a little more than two weeks.

It’s too soon. We’re not ready. The house is a mess. Where will we put him? Where will we put all his stuff?

Breathe. He has to get here first. And we decided early on, after consultation with the obstetrician, that he would get here by a scheduled c-section. So unless he surprises us by showing up early, he’ll be here on Feb. 5. All I have to do is make it through the surgery without fainting. (Actually, I hear that almost never happens, but still).

There’s so much to think about now, and as a first-time biological father, I find it all a bit daunting. My wife will be recovering from the surgery, our kid will be wailing at all hours with no sense of time, our girls (my stepdaughters) will need to be reminded that they are special and loved...

How did humanity ever survive more than one generation?

As far as the c-section goes, I’ve learned in the last year that there are two groups of people who get the most medical advice – the terminally ill and the pregnant. Listen to the advice given by well-meaning people to the terminally ill, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever dies. Listen to the advice given by the same people to the pregnant, and you’d be amazed that anyone ever survives into adulthood.

And the advice is conflicting. One recent report links c-section deliveries to asthma. Yikes. We have our reasons for a planned c-section. Is it the right call? We believe it is – for us, anyway.

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My son kicked me in the face the other day.

Oh my God, it's really happening, isn't it? The baby's due in February, and we found out a month ago that it's a boy. We're getting advice from all corners. "Read to him." We hear that one a lot. Apparently, about this time, the kid's ears start working, so you want him to get used to your voice. He'll hear his mom's voice all the time, but mine, not so much.

I've been talking to him for weeks, of course, lying with my cheek where I think he might be. I tell him about my days, about our three cats, about his two sisters...

Whack! I mean, Chuck Norris doesn't give the kind of roundhouse kick in the face that this kid gave me. I was startled. I looked up at my wife.

"Was that...?"

She nodded, smiling.

"Oh my God, he kicked me!"

We picked up a bunch of children's books from grandma and grandpa last night. Lots of Dr. Seuss. A couple of Peanuts compilations. "Black Beauty." "Little House."

Last night, I lay there and read to him. "Oh, the Places You'll Go."

"That was him," my wife said.

As eager as I am to feel it again, I had to admit that this time, I didn't. Maybe next time.

I'm still trying to make sure he gets used to my voice. And every time I talk to him, I end it the same way.

"I can't wait to see you."

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Would you make your teen get married if she got pregnant?

We got an uncomfortably close view of this type of very personal teen drama when the pregnant Bristol Palin, 17-year-old daughter of Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin, and her "fiance," Levi Johnston, took the stage at the Republican convention last week.

I couldn't take my eyes off this young couple and kept wondering how their "engagement" came about. Were they going to get married anyway? Or is it being forced upon them for political expediency?

Studies show about half of teen marriages end in divorce within 10 years, compared with 24 percent of adults who marry after age 25. So Bristol and Levi are likely to have a failed marriage on top of a baby in their teen years, not to mention immaturity issues (you probably read about Levi calling himself a "f----n redneck" and saying he didn't want kids on his MySpace page).

What are your thoughts on this shotgun marriage? Are Bristol and Levi doing the right thing?

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"If it's a boy, will he be my step-brother or ... what will he be?"

Let me back up: Christine and I are expecting our first child together in February. She actually told me the day before Father's Day -- plopped the stick with the great big flashing neon "+" sign right in front of me. To be honest, I don't even remember my reaction. I think it might have involved some degree of drooling, squinting and deep breathing.

There is no single "big question" when you find out a baby's on the way. Every question is big. And one of the big questions we had involved my step-daughters. How would they respond? And how can we keep them involved so that they know we are all in one family, more than ever?

Well, so far, they seem to be excited. They want a brother (although we do not know the gender and would be perfectly happy with a girl).

But if it is a boy, is he a step-brother? How does that work?

Technically, I explained the baby would be their half-brother. But I don't like that term. It's perfectly useful for geneticists and whatnot, but not for real human beings. I've got seven brothers and sisters, none "full-blooded," but I wouldn't think of calling them "half-siblings" unless I needed a kidney or something and the doctors needed every little medical detail.

"Brother" or "sister" will do just fine.

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Everything in our lives right now revolves around the pending birth of Lucas Emilio. He's scheduled to arrive via C-section next week.

My wife, Carrie Ann, is at that point where she can't get comfortable in any position. I worry about having all the last minute errands done.

My daughter, Ana Isabel, well she seems to be the least worried. Of course, she'll be three in August. So her focus is playing with mommy or papi or a best friend she makes that day. Still, Ana knows she's going to become a big sister next week.

My biggest worry is how will Ana handle her mommy being in the hospital for a few days. My mother-in-law is flying in to help. And I'll be off of work. So hopefully, we'll keep her busy. But still, the hospital can be a traumatic place for adults. And it's the first time Ana and momma won't be sleeping under the same roof overnight.

So what do you suggest for keeping a nearly three-year-old child from being traumatized by a hospital experience?

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We're in the final countdown for my son, Lucas Emilio, to arrive. We're all very excited, including my daughter, Ana Isabel.

My wife and I are scrambling. I'm finishing up house projects to get everything ready. My wife is pulling out all the baby stuff. And family members have booked their flights since Carrie Ann has a C-section scheduled.

That brings me to Ana. We have been telling her for months about Lucas' arrival. She's two and a half years old and seems to get it that there will be a new addition to the family.

Still, I don't want her to feel left out. I'm planning on doing more daughter and papi things with her. And we've put aside a few presents for her as well from our generous family, friends and colleagues.

Any other suggestions for keeping the jealous-sibling syndrome at bay? Or should we just be prepared to face it?

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So I've painted Ana' s old room a hue of blue as we wait for her little brother to arrive. Lucas Emilio is going in there and we moved Ana into the "big girl room," formerly the guest bedroom.

This week, the doctor scheduled my wife, Carrie Ann, for her C-section. So we have a deadline of April 29 now to get everything ... and everyone ready.

I still need to insulate, put up drywall on the ceiling and paint the converted Florida room. That's going to be where our guests stay now that we don't have a guest bedroom anymore. We also have to buy a pullout couch. All that is the easy part, if you ask me.

Coordinating grandparents and friends visits without hurting feelings seems to be the bigger challenge. They're all coming from New York, New Jersey and Maryland. And they all want to come around the baby's birthday.

We want them all to visit. But we don't have a large house to fit everyone at the same time. Sometimes we feel like we're playing traffic cops.

So what do you think is the best way to handle our influx of well-meaning visitors who want to celebrate Lucas' arrival?

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My kids were thrilled to hear one of our relatives was pregnant and they would have a new baby cousin.

But a few days later, I had to tell them she had miscarried. My 9-year-old and 11-year-old had no idea there was a possibility a baby in the womb could die.

I said we don't know why these things happen. Maybe the baby wasn't going to be healthy and this was nature's way of ending it early. But they looked totally confused. And for some reason, I was tongue-tied, torn between going into the gory details and waiting to see what questions they would have.

I have since found this explanation at iVillage.com and I will use it if it ever comes up again. I like the kid-level analogy they use: When you plant tomatoes, they don't all sprout; same thing with human beings.

Have you had to talk to your kids about a miscarriage? What did you say?

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My wife Carrie Ann is now six months along in her second pregnancy. We're all very excited about our pending new arrival, Lucas Emilio,

When his big sister, Ana Isabel, was in utero, her parents were nervous Nellies. I chalked it up to being first time parents. Now with the second child on the way, my wife seems to be enjoying the pregnancy much more; therefore I am much more relaxed about the birth of our second child. We're both almost giddy. With Ana that excitement was tempered by anxiety.

My wife also tells me Lucas seems to be more active than Ana was at this stage. I know Lucas is a different person than Ana. But his parents, I guess, are also more mature and confident in their child-rearing abilities.

While it's all familiar since we've been through it once, I wonder about the differences and what they portend for the future. What do you think?

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Shocker of the week: Jamie Lynn Spears, sis of Britney and star of Nickelodeon's Zoey 101 is preggers. Her boyfried Casey Aldredge is the father. (The couple is shown at right.)

What the hell.. I don't know what is more ridiculous about this story:

That the 16-year-old TV actress is following in her big sis's trainwreck of a life?

That the mother of both girls, Lynne Spears, has been dropped from the "parenting" book she was supposed to be writing.

That Jamie Lynn, who her mom bragged "is so good she never misses curfew" was allegedly LIVING with her 19 year old boyfriend.

That Jamie Lynn broke the story to OK magazine, which has a history of paying sources for stories. Did she really benefit financially from this sad, life-changing mistake?

That those of us who have kids who watch shows like Zoey 101 -- kids as young as 8 -- clearly need to have a discussion, some kind of discussion, on why stars like the Spears sisters are ultimately not good role models.

I have not had the safe sex talk, let alone the talk about where babies come from, with my 8 year old. Why? Because she hasn't asked.

But when she sees Jamie Lynn's bump, sure to be splattered across magazines from now till June, she is sure to ask why Zoey, the cool high school girl Spears plays, is having a baby. I can hear it now. "Isn't she a kid, mommy?"

Parents, better get your ammo ready. The questions are a comin'.

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I have to weigh in here on my colleague's post below about "push presents." According to the New York Times, they're lavish gifts given to mothers for pushing out babies.

My wife is five months pregnant with our second child. What a wonderful, exciting time it is for us, including for Ana Isabel, my two-year-old daughter. Of course, there's anxiety that comes with a new addition to the family. There's so much to do from getting the house ready to preparing my little girl to be a big sister.

So I read this "push present" article with interest and couldn't be more offended. How crass? Don't think for a second that there wasn't some marketing guru behind getting this story into the august New York Times.

Don't get me wrong, I do believe my wife deserves all the praise in the world for birthing and mothering Ana and our soon-to-be-born son, Lucas Emilio. I know it's a lot of hard work and sacrifice. But our decision to become parents doesn't obligate either of us to give the other presents, especially not expensive jewelry.

I bought my wife the biggest bouquet of flowers I ever bought when Ana was born. I gave her a diamond pendant after she weaned Ana from 13 months of breast feeding. So I'm not against lavishing my wife with gifts. But I certainly resent the push to make my children's birth another marketer's dream holiday, like Christmas and Halloween have become.

Carrie Ann tells me many of her friends have received very nice gifts from their husbands after giving birth. They didn't need the New York Times or some jewelry company telling them that's what they should do.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

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Do women deserve a fancy gift for pushing out their babies?

An increasing number of moms appear to be saying "Yes!" According to the New York Times, husbands are getting their wives extravagant gifts, or "push presents," after they give birth, including art work and jewelry.

It seems to be a combination of a new awareness among men about the physical taxation of bearing a child and a new assertivenes among moms about getting the things they want.

"You have to keep mama happy," one dad said in the story.

Dads: Did you buy your wife a gift after she gave birth? And moms: Do you think you deserve a lavish present, or are your children reward enough (yeah, right)?

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If you were pregnant with a baby with Down syndrome, what would you do?

According to this story in the New York Times, 90 percent of women decide to terminate these pregnancies. Parents of Down syndrome kids who are concerned that there will be few people like their children left in the world are becoming high-profile activists to counter this trend.

They are talking to parents who found out through prenatal genetic testing that they are having a Down syndrome baby and encouraging them to ask questions, spend a day with them, and learn the joys and challenges of raising a special-needs child. They don't pretend it's easy, but they say their children have brought them much happiness.

What especially interested me is these parents say they are not anti-abortion. They are just afraid that if there are few people like their children out in the world, there will be fewer programs to integrate them into society and limited patience for people who are imperfect.

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[Written by Sun-Sentinel Staff Writer Kathy Bushouse]

True story: My husband and I were out to dinner in Boynton Beach last Friday night at a Beer-Brewery-Slash-Restaurant That Shall Not Be Named, and I started chatting with the waitress as she brought my husband his beer and brought me a water and a Coke.

I’m at the point in my pregnancy where I’m really looking like I swallowed a watermelon, so there’s no hiding the Little Dude at this point. I’m either pregnant, or smuggling a soccer ball under my shirt to dinner.

When she set the beer down, I asked for mine. I told her, of course, that I was kidding. Her response: You’d be surprised how many women aren’t. Then I told her she couldn’t be serious. Turns out, she was. She’ll serve wine, she said, but our waitress draws the line at beer and – this part shocked me – shots of liquor.

“What do you say?” I asked her.

“I tell them it’s a personal preference,” she said. If they insist, she sends them to the bar to buy the beer or the shot or the margarita or whatever.

Now, I’ve been known to drink a soda or two, and have been told that the world won’t end if I have a little wine while I’m expecting. But liquor? Really? I mean, I like a good vodka-and-tonic as much as the next person, but can’t that stuff wait until after the baby is born?

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[Written by Sun-Sentinel staff writer Kathy Bushouse]

I’m becoming a stroller stalker.

Don’t be alarmed – this is all in the name of research. My husband and I are about three months away from the birth of our first child, and as my due date draws closer, I find myself with more questions than I could have ever imagined about products I’ve never cared about until now: Strollers, car seats, baby bouncers, baby carriers, bassinets, cribs, high chairs.

Now, every time I pass by parents, I always try to catch a glimpse of the name on the strollers they’re pushing. It’s been interesting to see what brands people buy, but I’m fairly certain I creeped out a couple at my Publix in Delray Beach over the weekend when I craned my neck to get a good look at their stroller’s manufacturer. (Sorry about the gawking, if you happen to be reading this. But nice Peg Perego)

My Friends With Kids have faced a barrage of baby questions from me – travel system or not? What the heck is a pack-and-play and why does it need sheets? Do I need a bouncer and a swing? Britax or Graco? Peg Perego or Maclaren?

Now if you’d mentioned Peg Perego a year ago, I’d have thought you were talking about some hip indie rock band from England, not a manufacturer of decent strollers with full reclining seats. But these days, all I think about is Peg Perego and which version of their lightweight stroller should make its way onto my registry.

I’m nervous about picking the wrong thing – and spending hundreds of bucks on something I can’t use. I’ve got the latest copy of Baby Bargains to help me narrow my choices, and already the book is dog-eared, its cover bent from overuse.

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It's official.

I am now firmly in the "unoriginal" camp when it comes to baby names. My children are Abigail (2006's No.4) and Elizabeth, a name that has rarely dropped out of the Top 25 baby names for girls in the past, oh, I don't know, 500 years? Well, not in the last 100 at least, according to the Social Security Administration's baby names online Web site.

Naming a child is a huge decision, and one that your child is stuck with - for better or for worse - his or her entire life.

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