Here we go again. For the second time this month, a mother in South Florida has been caught passed-out drunk in her car with her kids. Can anyone fathom how a person's life could come to this? Really!?!?! Is getting loaded more important than your child's safety? Something is WAY out of whack here.

The first case was back on October 2 when Brenda Lee Duclos was found passed out behind the wheel of her minivan in her own driveway. The worst part is after she passed out, her 3-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter got out of the car and started wandering the neighborhood barefoot. The cops found FOUR empty bottles of wine in the car. When the police talked to the kids, one of them said "Mommy is drunk". Nice.

The most recent incident happened on Saturday when Joanne Martinez was found passed out in her boyfriend's SUV after drinking tequila at a family party Friday night. She apparently tried to drive home with 3 kids in the car, her 4 and 6 year-old children as well as her 7-year-old nephew. She was so drunk that when the cops woke her up she vomited. Who at this "family party" thought it was a good idea to let her drive?!?! Honestly?!

Maybe a MADD or an AA meeting complete with photos of bloody car wrecks would sober them up? Maybe the fact that the CDC reported that 68 percent of children killed in alcohol-related crashes in the United States between 1997 and 2002 were riding in the same vehicle as the drinking driver would be a wake up call?

I don't know whether to be sad, pissed off, or just plain disappointed that this seems to be happening more and more. Obviously both of these women have serious drinking problems, and that is nothing to make fun of. I hope for the sake of their children that they get the help they need.

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For those of you not familiar with this case, Somer Thompson is the 7 year old girl who disappeared while walking home from school on Monday. After a massive search and a nationwide outcry, her body was found yesterday in a Georgia landfill near the Florida state line.

The police report states that she got into a fight with another girl at school. While walking home with her sisters and some friends, she ran off ahead of the group and was never seen again. Imagine how they're feeling?

Reports are saying that the family lived near 161 registered sex offenders. Do you know how many live in your neighborhood? You should. Check the state database here.

Is knowing where the sex offenders in your neighborhood live enough? The latest reports say that none of the offenders in Somer's neighborhood are suspects, so what as parents can we do to protect our children?

Personally, I have experienced the loss of children close to me. My cousin recently gave birth to twins, and due to complications one of the girls did not survive. Listening to her speak at her daughter's funeral was one of the most moving events of my life. No matter how tragic that was, there is no way to compare that incident to the rage this family must been feeling towards the person responsible for murdering their daughter.

As I am writing this post, the reports are saying that the investigation is focusing on a vacant house in the neighborhood where she vanished. The police are also saying that they know how she died, but are not releasing that information yet.

HOW DO WE KEEP OUR CHILDREN SAFE! Honestly, I am at a loss.

Our hearts go out to the family and friends of Somer, and hope that the person who committed this horrible act is brought to justice swiftly.

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PLEASE NOTE: This post was originally written as the drama of "balloon boy" was still unfolding on television. The boy had not yet been found and had not yet made the now notorious statement that this was done "for a show." I think it's unfortunate that what first seemed like a teachable moment about the role of vigilance in child safety -- the subject of this post -- has degenerated into a spectacle over whether we've all been had by an elaborate hoax. But that's life.

A lot of us watching the riveting coverage of the Colorado balloon flight are asking ourselves how something like this could happen.

The answer: very easily. Too easily. And here in South Florida, that should come as no suprise.

Only with us, it's not 6-year-olds in experimental balloons. It's toddlers in backyard swimming pools, coupled with parents going about their daily lives and looking away for just one second.

Tragedy strikes when responsible people aren't looking. And while it's tempting to cast blame on parents who look away, it is unrealistic to expect anyone to have both eyes on all children at all times.

So while we shake our heads in disbelief at a little boy climbing into a balloon and untying the rope, let's not pretend this is much different than the kinds of tragic stories we read about all too often.

Any close calls in your family while you looked away?

UPDATE: The kid's been found alive at his home, a fortunate ending to a fascinating story. And thankfully, we can learn the lesson of constant vigilance without having to hear a eulogy.

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Michael Brewer lies in excruciating pain at Jackson Memorial with second- and third-degree burns over 80 percent of his body. He is 15.

Five other boys have been arrested for dousing him with rubbing alcohol and setting him on fire. Four are 15, one is a 13-year-old sibling.

And now we condemn – the boys, the parents and the culture that bred such heinous behavior. Where were the parents? Why are 15-year-olds in seventh grade? The bully – how did he get that way? There are so many troubling questions about this horrible situation, it’s almost paralyzing.

A lot has been written about the “boy crisis” in America, as well as the inevitable “myth of the boy crisis.” But I don’t know if this incident should be reduced to an academic discussion.

My only real question is: Where are the safety nets? Where are the after-school programs for kids with a variety of interests? Sure, there are sports – but only for those kids who are superior athletes. What about the vast majority of kids? What’s out there for them? I’m really curious …if you know, please comment.

The Broward schools have an aggressive anti-bullying agenda . Do these programs work? Are there other intervention programs that actually succeed?

And what’s out there for parents who may be struggling under the responsibility, who maybe don’t know how to deal with boys in crisis, how to teach right from wrong. What’s out there for them?

At a time when budgets are being cut across the board, when advocacy groups are struggling, this should be a wake-up call that as a community, we have a grave responsibility to address some of these questions.

What’s your suggestion?

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Like so many other things parents have to contend with these days, Halloween has become complicated.

There are safety concerns (predators lurk everywhere!), health and nutrition issues (we're in an obesity epidemic, after all!), and all sorts of landmines around costumes (hoochie mama witches, anyone?).

Just another thing for a beleaguered parent to sweat over. This week we're posing these questions and more in our First Annual (and perhaps only) Burning Issues Great Halloween Debate.

Follow this link to our first question: Is it OK to take your kids to the "good neighborhood" with all the best candy?

Discuss!

Photos.com

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Sometimes, the real world intrudes in a way that really makes you question your ideals.

A couple weeks ago, I blogged about kids walking to school by themselves. I wrote about how I believe kids need to be gradually given some freedom to get out in the world alone.

But yesterday, a Pembroke Pines girl, walking from school, declined a ride from a stranger, only to be surprised by him when she got home. This is simply terrifying.

The girl did the right thing. She didn't accept the ride, for starters. And she must have been alert enough to note his face. Then, she ran SCREAMING from her home when she found the man there.

We don't know much about her -- her age, or whether her family situation is such that she has no choice but to walk home. So I'm not about to judge her parents.

But I will commend her for being a quick thinker and being well-schooled in what to do in a terrifying situation. Yes, something horrible could have happened. But I still say, we can't insulate our kids from the real world, and we have to equip them with life-saving skills.

I wonder: Have I done that? Have I really prepared my kids well?

They don't walk to school, but they are in any number of potentially risky situations, at the park or the mall or a Friday night football game.

I think it's time to have another talk.

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Recently, a friend of The Kid asked if he had his driver's permit yet.

Needless to say, the question gave me pause - and I did everything in my power not to slam on the breaks - not out of anger or anything - more out of worry and shear horror.

I was driving the children at the time.

Gosh - these kids are younger than the blades of grass in our yard for cryin' out loud!

And what's the rush anyway?

Isn't it kind of nice to be chauffeured? Sure, our "passengers" are a captive audience as we adults drive them everywhere--the service comes complete with lectures and conditions.

And we get to spend time together. I get to meet his cohorts - in person no less!

But at some point, kids-my son included, are going to be in the driver's seat. And the best we can do, short of never, ever letting them out of our site, is to empower them with the right tools, starting with good driving instruction.

You can download AAA's Choosing a Driving School pamphlet here.

It's a guide for parents of beginning drivers. There is a check list of questions to ask, things to look for in a driving school. There are tips on how you can supplement what they'll be learning with additional information and experience.

It seems like only last year, I let him ride his bike - as long as he's wearing the helmet, knee pads, has reflectors, lights....

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Much has been made lately about kids getting themselves from one place to another by themselves. There's the mom who let her 9-year-old ride the New York subway alone. That set of a fire-storm last spring. Lenore Skenazy, the mom, has become something of a stop-the-madness voice for children and families who don't want to live in fear all the time. Her blog is called Free-Range Kids -- "Give our kids the freedom we had without going nuts with worry."

The New York Times followed up with a story on Sunday about how parents struggle with letting their kids walk to school. One mom in the story relates how a neighbor DROVE her 7-year-old child home, five houses away. That's just crazy, and lazy.

My kids started walking to their friends' house down the street at a young age. I'd stand in the driveway and watch them go. Then retrieve them later (I didn't DRIVE!). Eventually, they were doing it on their own. There were lessons learned along the way: "No, you cannot walk around the block." "No, it's too dark." In time, the rules loosen, the parameters grow.

We live close enough to stores and restaurants that the next step was inevitable. This summer my son would hop on his bike with friends to grab some lunch somewhere. They'd walk to Blockbuster to pick up a video. Once he called me in a panic before a trip that he needed socks. I told him to ride his bike to the store and buy some.

Next will be driving. And college. And, hopefully, studying abroad. All of the little steps along the way have been preparing them for that.

So yes, whenever possible, parents should let their kids walk down the street and to school and beyond. What do you think? Are you a free-range parent?

Photo: Forum Publishing Group

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I know. I know!

You're young and brash. You're witty. You make good grades. You're a little bit bad. You make your friends laugh. You're the master of all that is known and unknown.

But you're also only 14 years old - give or take a few years.

This is for certain - once you click SEND or hit that ENTER button, just like saying something out loud, you can't "take it back."

It could be worse - your missives are out there on the Internet for all the world to see - for a long time. Those here-and-now communications via photos, blogs, text messages and MySpace/FaceBook could come back to haunt. That includes inappropriate or illegal downloads.

People you have yet to meet might even run into your digital antics along that information highway- like a future employer for example. But it's often, and unfortunately - a hard concept for kids - and many adults - to process.

That's why AT&T and iKeepSafe partnered to create a series of online safety education tools and projects, in conjunction with American School Counselor Association, to teach students how to protect their privacy and reputation online.

Parents should check out the MySpace tutorial. And if you do nothing else, listen and watch- with your child of any age-to first hand stories of students victimized by Cyber-bullies.

Your awareness needs to equal or exceed your child's level of social networking activity.

Together, parents and young kids can watch a Faux Paw cartoon adventure on illegal downloads. But supplement that with some real conversation.

AT&T's Stay safe. Stay connected, suite of resources provides tips for home phone, television and wireless safety tips and well as links to other resources.

Because, before tapping or clicking that send button - kids need to think about their future, their reputation, they could be deleting.

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They were the longest 20 seconds of my life.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

That’s about how long it took for me to get from the waiting room of the doctor’s office, across the parking lot to the shaded space where I’d left the SUV just a few minutes earlier. When I opened the back door, Leo, my 3-month-old son, looked at me and smiled, blissfully unaware of the foolish, unforgivable, incomprehensible mistake I’d just made. I picked him up, hugged him, kissed his chubby cheek, begged him to forgive me and held him close, vowing I'd never, ever allow myself to become so distracted again. Ever.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

The air conditioner had been on during our trip, and I parked under a tree, so the temperature in the car had not even begun to get uncomfortable. If another few minutes had passed, that would have started to change. Quickly. It was late in the morning, a typical day in May. How long would it have taken for my moment of failure to evolve from error to emergency to tragedy? Thank God, I will never find out.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

"How could any parent forget a baby in a car?" That’s the refrain from the public every time the tragedy occurs. Then comes the judging. "Self-centered." "Should be sterilized." "I could never forget my kid." "Bad parent." "Idiot." I fear for those who so readily pass judgment, who feel they are above doing something so avoidably tragic. I fear for those who are so self-assured that their vigilance is reduced, because I was one of you, and I almost did it. I almost did it to my baby.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

Earlier this year, the Washington Post ran a powerful story on the subject, a story you MUST read. I learned about it from the excellent New York Times blog Motherlode. In the Post article, writer Gene Weingarten went through the list of people who weren’t as lucky as I was. People who did not realize their mistake until it was too late. People who probably were once among those who thought "I could never forget my baby in the car."

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

“In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker,” Weingarten wrote. “A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A Protestant clergyman. A rabbinical student. A nurse. A construction worker. An assistant principal. It happened to a mental health counselor, a college professor and a pizza chef. It happened to a pediatrician. It happened to a rocket scientist.”

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

I always used to cringe when I saw stories about parents facing homicide charges for forgetting their children in hot cars. Now the feeling is worse. Now I have an infant, and now I know I was that close to adding “news reporter” to Weingarten’s list.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

The Motherlode story refers to gadgetry that might help avert these tragedies. You know how some cars chime when the door is opened while the key is in the ignition or the lights are on? At least one company is making a gizmo that plays a lullaby whenever the baby is in the carseat and the car’s not moving. Good idea.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

I don’t know whether the gadget will catch on. I’ve settled on a different routine, one that involves opening the back door and physically looking to make sure the car seat is empty. It’s an easy habit to develop, and could be a tragic one to ignore.

Look before you lock. Check the car seat every time you leave the car.

For more information on car safety for children, visit www.kidsandcars.org.

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Warning: The video attached to this post could be very disturbing to younger readers/viewers. Parents should review this video before deciding whether it's appropriate to share with their children.

I first wrote about texting while driving back in April, and not surprisingly, the issue has not gone away. For our family, it's taken on a little extra significance because my older stepdaughter now has a bona fide driver's license (and her own car). She no longer needs to wait for us to take her anyplace.

And we trust her (with all the hesitation that most parents feel when their 16-year-olds get behind the wheel of their cars).

Right now, her phone is out of reach while she's driving. We know we can't monitor every second she spends in the car, but I'm glad my wife talked to her about the dangers of distractions behind the wheel. I hope she listens. I know it's had an effect on me.

Speaking of which, I was disturbed yesterday to see this video being played on CNN. I thought it was a bit much. But now I'm not so sure. Maybe we should see this kind of thing more often.

By the way, it's a British public service announcement, which explains why the driver is sitting on the "wrong" side of the car.

What do you think; is this an effective way to get the message across, or is it bound to backfire as a scare tactic?

Teen drivers: Ad campaign targets risky road behavior

Stay Safe: Tips for new teen drivers

Parkland Commissioner wants to ban texting while driving.

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ForbesWoman just released it first examination of the “Best Cities For Working Mothers.” Why am I not surprised that Miami/Fort Lauderdale came in at No. 43 out of 50? New York (New York!) topped the list.

It's so easy to explain away the results -- we are transient, a party city, lots of retirees, lots of immigrants with families back home. "This list fairly reflects how the rest of the country views Miami," said ForbesWoman writer Heidi Brown, who edited the list.

What? We're not family friendly? Maybe so. Although most of the families I know are friendly enough.

To come up with the list, ForbesWoman ranked 50 of the largest continental U.S. metropolitan statistical areas (that's Miami/Fort Lauderdale) by categories: earnings, unemployment, cost of living, violent and property crimes, healthcare, per-capita expenditure per pupil, the number of daycare and preschools, and park acreage. They used data from the U.S. Census Bureau, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Dartmouth Atlas and other reliable sources.

Surprisingly, Miami/Fort Lauderdale ranked No. 3 in the child care category. But keep in mind that quantity, not quality was evaluated. Brown said that in the population area of 2.4 million, we have 709 daycare centers. That doesn't sound like a lot to me. "Perhaps this shows how dismal daycare is around the country," she said.

Another surprise was our low rank in parks: No. 48. Really? In the sun and fun capital? (Jacksonville ranked No. 1.) This data came from the nonprofit Trust for Public Land, as well as the various cities. Come to think of it, I know that recreational sports teams are always competing for limited practice space throughout Fort Lauderdale.

Other notable rankings: No. 12 in the number of pediatricians, No. 20. in school quality and No. 20 in per pupil spending. Not bad.

But there's women's income: No. 43. Cost of living: 43. Violent crime: 48. Property crime: 49. Ouch.

Making matters worse, Miami/Fort Lauderdale is actually the highest ranking Florida city. Jacksonville is 44 overall, Tampa, 46, and Orlando is 49. Las Vegas is No. 50.

"Maybe this is a wakeup call to city leaders," Brown said. I couldn't agree more.

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Are you getting bugged this summer by insects?

Perhaps, after reading the item posted today by my colleague Brittany Wallman on the virtues of having a dog for a pet - you'll run out and get one this weekend.

So, here are a few things to consider:

If your children are playing outdoors and getting bitten by mosquitoes, chances are the family pet is too.

Mosquitoes, fleas and ticks are right there keeping up with your family on picnics, on walks, at ball games and while doing yard work.

Barry the Bug Guy at Truly Nolen offers tips on how to keep pets bug-free on The Insect Inquirer.

And yes, I did mention yard work. Here's an idea - a yard work party. Get the kid to invite friends over.

Then announce that before the video games, there are a few things that have to be done outside. (I've never seen kids rake so fast. They haul trash, cut branches and pull weeds at lightening speed.)

After a glass of lemonade, they feel well-paid and happy!

But be sure your kids are protected from insects too! KidsHealth has some pointers on how to handles bites and stings.

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It’s not just a summer thing.

However, any excuse to highlight the dangers of children around water is good enough.

Growing up – my parents had me and all of my siblings on swimming teams when we were very young.

I passed on my love of water – and my respect for it – making sure my children could each swim before they were five years old.

None of the above guarantees a child’s safety 100 percent.

In fact, a little bit of exposure and a few swimming lessons can create over-confidence.

Parents should never let their guard down with children, around pools, lakes, etc.

Look at some safety tips in this South Florida Parenting article: Keeping baby afloat.

And here is one of our picture galleries. A safety tip accompanies each photo.

And happy swimming, or sailing or water polo!

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For those of us with small children something like the swine flu brings another layer of worry.

How to do you get a 3 1/2 –year-old to protect herself? It means it's time to stress to the kids what are already good hygiene habits.

The U.S. Center for Disease Control say we parents have to set good examples. Teach the kids to wash their hands often and well. Show them how to cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing.

It sounds practical. But then there’s government talk that just doesn’t make sense with small children. The CDC wants us to teach our children to stay at least six feet away from people who are sick. And if there’s a swine flu case in South Florida, keep the children away from crowds.

What toddler is even going to know what six feet means? Never mind to stay that far away from another sick child. And how are they supposed to recognize when a playmate may be sick? And are we supposed to keep the kids out of day care? It just doesn’t make sense.

It falls to us parents. And really, we have to depend on the judgment of other parents to keep their sick kids at home.

For now, we have not changed the routine for Ana Isabel or Lucas Emilio, who just turned 1. But if things get worse, it could mean cutting out trips to the playground they so enjoy. No more visits to the children’s museum that Ana asks to go to almost every weekend. We could be spending a lot more times in the backyard with fewer playmates coming over.

As parents we have to be even more vigilant than ever. And worry just that much more.

Here what the CDC's says are the symptoms to keep an eye out for and what to do if your child gets sick.

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Are you Superman? You know, invincible? Able to withstand pain and injury, maybe whiz around the world and turn back time if you screw something up and hurt someone unintentionally?

Rocky Kaller wants to know. He’s 17, got his driver’s license last year, and has already shown considerable common sense about an issue that affects us all: people who text while they’re driving.

Are you one of those drivers?

I am. And I shouldn’t be.

Ordinarily, I’d be afraid to make such a confession. Who wants to admit they’re doing something so obviously dangerous and avoidable? My older stepdaughter takes her driving test in a couple of months. What kind of example am I setting?

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This hurts.

Read this today in MassLive.com:

SPRINGFIELD - Hundreds of people filled the Alden Baptist Church Monday for the funeral of Carl J. Walker-Hoover, the 11-year old boy who hung himself last week after complaining of bullying by classmates at the New Leadership Charter School.

"Our prayers are that this crisis will make Springfield a better community," said the Rev. Hugh A. Bair, who delivered the eulogy that capped the 2.5-hour service.

"The name calling must stop; the bullying must stop," he said, resulting in applause from the overflow crowd.
...
His mother said he suffered taunts and threats from other students who made fun of him, insulted the way he dressed and called him gay since he began attending the school in September, Walker said. Read the rest here.

I had a very difficult time reading this article because it’s so senseless and painful, to know people can be so unenlightened and cruel.

I am sorrowful for the mother, for young Carl. I'm sad for all of us. In the death of this 11-year-old boy, a victim of harassment and bullying, who hanged himself, we're all victims, regardless of our sexual orientation.

There are untold numbers of victims in this case: Those who fear coming out about their sexuality; those who fear helping; those who have LGBT friends and family members. Those who just want to ask questions.

This month, a local church is hosting a workshop that many people can benefit from.

Riviera Presbyterian Church is hosting “Gender Identity and Our Faith Community,” a public workshop from 1p.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 26.

This is Riviera's promotion about the event:

Do you know what 'gender identity' means to you? Have you ever wondered what struggles transgender people face? Do you have questions about where our ideas of 'appropriate' gender expression stem? Do you feel called as a person of faith to stand with those who are marginalized, but are not sure how to advocate politically from a religious voice? If you answer yes to any of these questions than we have a FREE workshop for you!

Please join Riviera Presbyterian Church on Sunday, April 26th from 1 pm to 4 pm for a moving discussion on 'Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities' sponsored by the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign. We will be joined by HRC staff member and transgender educator, Allyson Robinson, who will lead us from acceptance to advocacy on issues of gender identity and LGBT equality. This workshop will challenge us, liberate us, and help us grow as a community committed to justice for everyone.

Address: Riviera Presbyterian Church, 5275 Sunset Drive, Miami. The free workshop is open to the public. RSVP: Phone: 305-666-8586. E-mail: rivierachurch@bellsouth.net. Website.

There are resources all over the country as well as locally.
Volunteers and experts are dedicated to getting the word out about nonviolence, LGBT issues, mentoring and more.

Pridelines Youth Services

YES Institute

Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians

Compass Community Center, Palm Beach.

Gay, Lesbian Community Center, Fort Lauderdale.

There are many opportunities to embrace, to learn, to understand issue that surround sexuality and gender orientation.

People of all ages can learn a thing or two –and they should. It’s OK to reach beyond what you know, beyond your comfort zone.

Sometimes that might mean hearing what you don’t want to hear. It might be being with folk that aren’t like you.

But nothing is quite like making yours and your child’s world bigger – through understanding and knowledge.

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Anyone raising a teenage boy, listen up. There are fashion trends, and there are stupid ideas that will get you shot - by a thug or by a cop.

The belt buckle you see here is an example of the latter: The Monroe County Sheriff's Office sent us a news release about a 17-year-old Stock Island boy who was on the business end of a deputy's pistol because he was wearing a belt buckle that looked just like a gun. There's a little more to the story, but fortunately the teenager was sharp enough to follow instructions and the deputy was careful enough to refrain from firing his weapon.

But whose brilliant idea was that gun-shaped belt buckle?

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At what cost was this child acting? Or was he?

The controversy surrounding this anti smoking ad has brought a great deal of attention to the issue of smoking.

But also it has many questioning if this child was truly acting.

Let's say he was. As the commercial director stated, he was coached. The piece was shot in one take. Is this tremendous acting at such a young age?

How many films and shows have we all watched where the child's emotions move us to tears? Why is this so different?

What's your take?

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At last. At long last.

It seems there are some people in Tallahassee who actually look at a plastic utensil used to spread Cheese Whiz and think: That's not a knife.

Too often, zero-tolerance laws have resulted in students facing charges that are so patently absurd that it's a challenge to cover these stories with a straight face. Invariably, when school officials are asked to explain why a child should face expulsion for violating the strictest possible interpretation of "carrying a weapon to school," they fall back on, "It's a zero-tolerance policy."

Sounds more like a zero-discretion policy, and it's refreshing to see officials putting discretion back where it belongs: in the hands of those who witness these alleged violations and enforce the rules in the first place.

According to the Associated Press article:

Sen. Stephen Wise, R-Jacksonville, said his bill (SB 1540) would save money and prevent children from having criminal records by requiring that schools handle such disciplinary matters administratively. “Throw an eraser and they want to call it throwing a deadly missile, which is a felony,” Wise told the Senate panel. “When you get into the juvenile justice system everybody thinks your sins are forgiven when you turn 18, and I will assure you that doesn’t happen. It’s a blemish on your record.”

In 2005 an 11-year-old Hernando County girl was arrested for allegedly bringing a plastic butter knife to school. She was handcuffed, taken to jail and charged with a third-degree felony. A 15-year-old boy at the same school that year received three weeks of house arrest for throwing a pencil that hit a custodian on the shoulder.

In 2003... a 13-year-old Brandon student was suspended because his calculator had a knife-like gadget.

What's your take?

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What’s wrong with a few drinks during Spring Break? Plenty if you’re under-age.

And youth ages 14 to 20 have lots to say about it in the Florida Department of Business and Professional Regulation’s 2009 “Why Not?” Spring Break Video Contest.

Participants submitted videos on why they choose not to make alcohol a part of spring break plans: It’s unsafe, is the prevalent theme.

Using YouTube.com and SchoolTube.com, the initiative provided peer-to-peer communication through the Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco’s education and prevention efforts. The partnership also incorporated the Department of Education that encouraged educators throughout the state to share the contest with students.

The emphasis is a good year-round topic: after all, we have holidays, weekends and summers too!

Make it a family time moment when you check out the 30-second spots at MyFloridaLicense.com.

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This question came up the other night at dinner with friends. It seemed like they would, but we all hesitated a bit. After all, it’s not like taking a kid to school is removing a driver from the road. And isn’t that the point of HOV lanes – cut down on drivers?

So I posed the question to Michael Turnbell, who writes the On the Roads column for the Sun Sentinel.

Here was Michael’s answer: “Yes, children and infants count as the second passenger in all states. The law only specifies the number of occupants (in South Florida’s case, two or more), not the age of the occupants.”

But are they safe in HOV lanes? I’ve hesitated to use the HOV lane in the morning driving my toddler from Fort Lauderdale to school in Boca Raton. The HOV's motto should be: “Speed and drive dangerously.” That said, my wife swears by them. Using the HOV lane in the evening, she says, “has changed her life” (that’s a quote from her Facebook status).

Then again, who knows how long HOV lanes will be around. The I-95 express toll lanes are clearly the future. Interestingly, the rules are not as simple for the new express lanes. Registered carpools there of 3 or more can use those lanes without paying a toll, and those carpools are defined as "at least three commuters traveling to and from work in one vehicle." (To register, visit this site.)

So enjoy that HOV lane with your kid while you can.

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Who doesn’t want their kid to be adventurous?

We want our young man to brave his new world, make it bigger, and try new things. He's turning 14 years old in a few weeks.

We want him to actually visit family – in other states – for extended periods of time: a week, a summer month, a holiday - without us along.

It's all good stuff – he should spread his wings.
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Only, should he spread his wings alone – that is – fly solo?

Independent Traveler.com , basically tells a horror story of a child flying unaccompanied by an adult.(There is a happy ending) The article goes on to give advice and some things to consider when booking a flight.

Just about every commercial airline website addresses the issue of a minor flying solo. They post their policies and provide tips.

There are websites, such as Forms4Parents.com where I can purchase a form and fill it in with detailed information. I can include instructions, identification and contact information.Then I can tuck the paperwork into The Kid’s pocket and keep my fingers crossed.

I can pack him off with a cell phone.

I know, I know, but this is also an emotional decision.

Do I hop on the plane and fly out with him and at the end of the visit, go out and come back with him?

Maybe I just ought to let him visit family via Facebook, from the safety of our own home.

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A coworker sent me this link to a Chicago Tribune article with a disturbing observation. Remember the accusation that entertainer Chris Brown beat his girlfriend Rihanna? Well, it turns out some teens think she had it coming. I’m not kidding. Here’s the beginning of the Tribune article:

Ed Loos, a junior at Lake Forest High School, said a common reaction among students to Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna goes something like this: "Ha! She probably did something to provoke it."

In Chicago, Sullivan High School sophomore Adeola Matanmi has heard the same.

"People said, 'I would have punched her around too,' " Matanmi said. "And these were girls!"

As allegations of battery swirl around the famous couple, experts on domestic violence say the response from teenagers just a few years younger shows the desperate need to educate this age group about dating violence.

Their acceptance, or even approval, of abuse in romantic relationships is not a universal reaction. But it comes at a time when 1 in 10 teenagers has suffered such abuse and females ages 16 to 24 experience the highest rates of any age group, research shows.

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I heard the rumors, too. It didn’t take long for them to pop up. My stepdaughter came home from school the day after the allegations were made public and let my wife and me know exactly why Chris Brown beat Rihanna (a talented entertainer in her own right). And while she didn’t say Rihanna deserved it, she might as well have. After all, so the rumor went, what Rihanna gave Chris Brown was worse than the beating he gave her, wink wink.

First, my wife and I explained that schoolyard rumors are usually best left in the schoolyard. Only two people witnessed whatever happened, and it’s not likely that one of them called up a friend at Cypress Bay High School to spread the word.

But the bigger lesson, the one we hope stuck, was that violence in romantic relationships is unacceptable. I could tell my stepdaughter with near certainty that Rihanna didn’t deserve it because no one deserves to be beaten like that. I don’t care what she did. If you’re a man, you don’t hit her. Maybe you'll yell or scream or get loud in the heat of the moment. But you do not get physical (unless self-defense is an issue, which may happen but is certainly not representative of abuse cases).

I know some men (and some women) can explode if the wrong buttons are pushed, and without a doubt, it’s unwise to intentionally push those buttons. But I want my teenage stepdaughters to know that it is never, ever right to let a man strike them.

Erica Herman, director of social change at Women in Distress, succinctly shot down the notion that victims of domestic violence provoke the attacks against them. "Domestic violence is about power and control," she said, addressing a different rumor about the Brown-Rihanna altercation. "He didn't hit her because he was angry. He hit her to gain control."

We don’t know what happened. In our family, we hope Chris Brown is innocent, and we hope those pictures of Rihanna that surfaced on the Internet were faked. But if they’re authentic, then someone hurt this woman. And if it was Chris Brown, then he should pay. The shame of this whole thing is that our family is fond of this talented singer, dancer and actor. He’s a heck of an entertainer – I’d bet he could get a standing ovation at a cemetery.

But if this charge sticks, then he’ll have gone from Chris Brown to Bobby Brown, from undeniable talent to disgraced has-been (if only in my eyes). No, I wasn’t expecting perfection out of him. But I was expecting him to refrain from beating his girlfriend. I don’t think that’s much to ask at all.

If you’re a victim of domestic violence or of violence in a romantic relationship, you didn’t have it coming. You didn’t ask for it. It's not normal and it's not your fault. And there are places you can turn to for help. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911. If you need counseling in Broward County, call Women in Distress at 954-761-1133. In Palm Beach County, call Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse at 1-800-355-8547.

Elsewhere, call the Florida Domestic Violence Toll-free Hotline at 1-800-500-1119 or the National Domestic Violence Toll-free Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

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I can vouch for the influence parents have over their communities.

When I was way too young to remember, my dad was on the front lines of the civil rights movement. He represented white people pushing for change, he represented his faith as a Presbyterian minister, and ultimately, he simply represented his family.

Recently, one of my brothers found this clip about him from an old 1961 edition of Jet Magazine. He was quoted, “Let me tell you of several incidents when Jesus was caught in the act of sitting-in,” said Henry Warren Kunce. I cannot begin to express my pride!

So it’s not a stretch for me to see the value in National Parent Leadership Month that honors and celebrates parents for the vital roles they fill in their homes and communities.

But, not everyone has the opportunity to take on a mission like the one my dad did.

Still, other issues are just as noble, like Prevent Child Abuse Florida. For many, it’s a cause way too close to home.

The organization engages parent leaders in developing program strategies and public awareness materials through its Florida Circle of Parents program, to prevent child abuse and neglect through mutual, self-help parent support groups.

Based on shared leadership, mutual respect, and inclusiveness, the free, confidential and non-judgmental groups are open to anyone in a parenting or care-giving role.

There are 54 groups throughout Florida.

Find a Florida Circle of Parents support group in your area.

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Priority #1: Safety. Hands down, when it comes to our children. But somehow, we let our guard down in the process of making child care decisions.

Parents of children under the age of 6 are most concerned about safety when choosing child care, according to a recent survey. The report, Parents' Perceptions of Child Care in the United States, highlights other top issues: learning environments with trained child care providers, and cost. Zogby International conducted the telephone poll of 1,004 parents in November for the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies.

The report also revealed that parents assume a lot: that there is governmental oversight to ensure child care safety; that background checks are conducted and employees do get training on child development, CPR, child guidance and discipline, and can recognize signs of child abuse.

Sometimes, we parents are naive, just like our children. We place complete trust and faith in the system, just as our children do us. The report went on to say parents believe that state governments license and inspect all child care programs. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The NACCRRA reports that only about half of the states inspect child care settings only once a year or less.

The report details its findings on cost and other child care issues. The NACCRRA provides links, facts and score cards.

If you had been asked - and other than safety – what is your biggest child care concern?

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You think it would be easier since we did it for my daughter Ana Isabel, now 3 1/2 years old. But for some reason, it seems not.

My son, Lucas Emilio, who just turned 9 months old, started crawling then furniture surfing within days all in the last month. He'll soon be running around the house.

With Ana, we had one gate, latches for cabinets, outlet covers, foam bumpers for the sharp corners on walls and furniture. It worked and kept her from getting hurt (except for one encounter with a drawer pull).

With Lucas on the other hand, we already have three gates and may be getting one more. There's seems to be more foam in some rooms than furniture. We have outlet covers where we don't have outlets. OK, I exaggerate. But you get the point.

He's getting into everything. And everything that gets into his hands goes in his mouth. It's not fun for a nervous-nelly parent like me.

I went looking for some more information -- here for childproofing and here for general child safety -- to make sure we didn't miss anything. We did. We're not done yet. We have more work to do.

Mannnn!! This parenting thing can be exhausting.

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A confession: I’m a bigot. I don’t trust pit bulls, especially around children.

Now before the defenders and detractors line up with their documented evidence of why I’m right or wrong, let me just say that the pit bull living on my property now is the dopiest, friendliest, most goofiest bundle of fun imaginable. But in a week and a half, my wife and I are coming home with a baby, and we want the pit bull gone.

The dog belongs to another family member who is not in a position at the moment to care for him.

I’ve read the literature. I’m familiar with the arguments presented by sites such as Jason Mann’s Pit Bull Lovers page. And I sympathize with those who have tried to stand up for the breed’s reputation.

But I’m also a reporter, which makes me paranoid, and a father-to-be, which makes me doubly so, and that paranoia leads me to think that when campaigns have to be organized to assure me that a particular animal is safe around infants, it’s because they’re not. Pit bulls and babies go together like Freddy Krueger and teenagers.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. In truth, this is a personal decision, not really a bigoted one. If I felt our family had the time, inclination and resources to properly train and raise a pit bull, this big fella would be just the right fit. But honestly, we don’t. And that’s the kind of dog news stories get written about. You know the stories. They always contain quotes like “He never acted up before” and “She was the friendliest dog.”

It’s not the dog, it’s the owner. I get that. And I don’t have the time to be the owner this dog deserves. And neither does anyone else in our household. So maybe my decision, my insistence, would be the wrong thing for your household. But as far as I’m concerned, it’s the right thing for mine, if for no other reason than that the dog deserves a better home.

[By the way: I'm not a dog breeder, veterinarian or expert. I'm speaking as a guy about to bring his firstborn son home next weekend. An expert may look at the picture above and say, "What an idiot. That's not a pit bull." If that's the case, enlighten me. I can take it.]

In the meantime, check out this video, on YouTube under the title “Pit Bull Viciously Attacks Baby.”

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Leave it to the federal government to create problems for the little guy while it tries to fix another.

In a laudable move to protect children, the Consumer Product Safety Commission wants all products aimed at children 12 and under tested for lead. That's the good part.

Now the bad part: Small businesses that sell handmade toys or thift stores could be forced to stop selling childrens products or in some case to close. See, big retailers can pay for the equipment, but the little guys can't afford it. The LA Times wrote about it.

We bought a bunch of toys and some children's furniture at local thrift stores. In fact, my wife helped extend our Christmas budget by buying Ana Isabel, 3, and Lucas Emilio, 8 months, toys at Baby Posh Garage in Aventura and Kids Palace Inc. in Plantation.

Isn't it the government's job to stop dangerous products from getting onto store shelves? I don't have a problem with asking businesses that can afford it to do their part. But it seems unfair that the small fry, like my children, could lose out.

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It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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The anniversary of the murders of 7-year-old Joey Bochicchio-Hauser and her mother, Nancy Bochicchio, serves as a sobering reminder of the reality of crime and violence. The Sun Sentinel has revisited the case several times, including today, following the latest developments in the investigation and providing useful information for others concerned about their safety.

This weekend, as you head to the mall or elsewhere for Christmas and other holiday shopping, try to remember some safety tips that Sun Sentinel reporter Sofia Santana put together for an article we ran in May. Click here for the full article; keep reading below for an excerpt that addresses parents.

Hang up the cell phone, leave the purse at home and master the art of getting in and out of the car quickly.

All can help a shopper avoid falling victim to the most common violent crime reported at area malls: robberies in parking lots and garages.

The South Florida Sun-Sentinel reviewed hundreds of police reports and interviewed victims, investigators and experts to come up with ways to help you stay safe.

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What about parents who shop with children?

Some criminals won't shy from confronting a mother with kids. In fact, a few have used children to manipulate a woman to hand over her purse and valuables.

We found nine reports of women who were robbed as they walked through a parking lot with children. Two cases were at the Pembroke Lakes Mall in Pembroke Pines in October 2006, and at the time police said one man was likely responsible for both attacks. In both cases, the gunman said he would hurt the child if the woman didn't hand over her purse and valuables.

In 2007, there were also two extreme cases involving children, both at the Town Center at Boca Raton. In August, a woman and her 2-year-old son were abducted from the parking lot and robbed; and in December, Nancy Bochicchio, 47, and her daughter Joey, 7, were found dead inside their running SUV parked outside of Sears.

Click here for the Sun Sentinel package on shopping mall safety.

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