Okay, confession: I don’t know how to help my kids with their homework.

There are plenty of reasons. A big one is that I’m a stepfather; I wasn’t around to watch or influence the development of their study habits. And helping a kid with homework is a major bonding experience. I suspect it develops over time: they learn how to work with me, and I learn how to work with them. We didn’t have that, and in some ways, I think it shows.

My wife, who is a teacher, exhibits a superhuman amount of patience. I, on the other hand, lose my cool at the slightest hint of a lack of effort. I hear what’s being spoken, but I don’t hear what’s being said. I remember one time, I asked one of the girls what a steamboat was. She answered that it was a boat. I just about lost my mind. “If you don’t want my help,” I snapped, “don’t ask for it!”

That showed her. Yeah, it showed her that I lack the patience and understanding to really help her. I learned, way too late, that I should have been listening for the unspoken words. You know, words like, “I don’t understand what you’re trying to get at with that question. Please clarify. Are you trying to ask how it is powered or how it changed commerce in the 1800s?”

My wife hears those unspoken questions and answers in ways that I envy. Our girls don’t like admitting they don’t know something. They’d much rather take an educated guess or, more frequently, a wild guess. I find that frustrating, but I wouldn’t if I spent more time helping them and less time taking their responses as a lack of effort.

So the bottom line is that I need help being a better parent when it comes to homework. And there is help available locally.

The Learning Tools page on the Palm Beach County School District Web site is a treasure trove (one problem: their link to “Helping your student get the most out of homework” seems to be broken. You can find it here). [UPDATE: The school district fixed the link on its page. Many thanks!]

The Broward County School District has a nifty parental involvement page that includes a link to another good article, Homework strategies for busy families. It also links to a list of the Top 10 things teachers wish parents would do. Here’s a shocker: number one on the list is “Be involved.”

I’m finding that one of the benefits of helping them with their homework is how much I’m learning.

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Contributed by Cindy Kent, SunSentinel.com

Every holiday I count my blessings. I know how lucky I am. It's a cliché, I know. But I am truly appreciative. Not everyone is so fortunate. And many people count on the good will of others and their volunteerism within the community to get help.

It's a great feeling to pass it forward. And it's something I am looking forward to my son doing as part of his requirements for high school graduation.

In Broward County, students who wish to earn a Standard Diploma must meet the graduation requirement of 40 service learning hours plus a written reflection.

My son, who will be entering high school next year, will begin to participate in the Broward County Public School's Service Learning and Volunteer Service Program.

He can simply accrue the required volunteer hours needed for graduation, or he can go the extra mile by working beyond the requirements.

There's a lot of need in our community - and a lot of opportunity. And if your child is about to enter the brave new world of public high school in Broward County, he or she just may end up alongside my son as they better the lives of others!

CLICK HERE for more about the volunteer program.

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Contributed by Cindy Kent, SunSentinel.com

My son has attracted magnet schools in the area. Along with fellow students, he will be visiting one school and another will be visiting his.

It's obvious there are some great resources available to public school students. A lot of time, energy and passion goes into teaching our children. I truly respect education professionals. The magnet programs allow students to get a taste of interesting careers and jobs through science, medicine, environmental studies, arts, sports and so much more.

So we're taking a field trip of our own.

We'll be going to the Magnet Showcase, Wednesday, Dec. 3rd, at the Broward County Convention Center, 1950 Eisenhower Blvd., in Fort Lauderdale from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. We’ll see over 40 Broward County public schools highlight their magnet programs. Demonstrations and interactive displays will educate parents and students about their specialized programs.

But it won't be just a free show for my son. I expect his participation and feedback. It's about him buying into the next step, the next level in his job as a student. It's his opportunity to experience this as a mini career fair. He has to take notes. Even though we are supposed to bring his report card and test scores, I am requiring him to bring a pad and pen. I’m going to ask lots of questions and collect material about the programs. But I also expect him to ask questions too and engage in conversation.

To view a video about choosing a magnet program, and get more information about the upcoming Dec. 3rd Magnet Showcase go to browardschoolsmagnetprograms.com or call 745-321-2380.

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Contribution by Cindy Kent, SunSentinel.com

So my son brought his report card home yesterday.

It was really wonderful; great grades earned him a dinner out to the Melting Pot. After all, he's also earning some high school credits even though he's still in 8th grade. And we celebrate everything together, little achievements and big ones.

But now he's being wooed by area high schools for their magnet programs. It's kind of cool, but daunting too. We must consider the possibility that he might go to a high school that is farther away from home. And we value, as he does, his current friendships, staying in touch with the kids he's been going to school with since elementary school.

However, a good education is a priority too, and positioning himself to be at the doors of opportunity when they open is just as important. If he doesn't go to the high school we thought he'd be going to all along, then are we responsible for transportation? That will a definate concern.

Regardless of the school he goes to, isn't it all about what the kid himself makes of it, himself, in the end?

There is a lot to think about: Friends. Transportation. Exposure to educational opportunities. Learning environments. These considerations will give him, and us, practice on managing the options when it's time to pick a college.

Each issue is important. How would you rank them?

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One of the earliest issues that came up on Wednesday when the Sun Sentinel began covering the shooting death of a student at Dillard High School in Fort Lauderdale was whether the school had metal detectors.

As it turned out, the school uses hand held metal detectors on occasion, but it's not as if every student has to go through a metal detector to get onto the campus.

This raises a number of campus safety issues, some of which are explored by our colleague Kathy Bushouse in this article (Click Here).

One Dillard High parent said this morning that metal detectors may be an inconvenience, but they're also necessary to help guarantee safety.

"You need metal detectors," said Marion Stevens, whose son, David, is a junior at Dillard. "They have them everywhere.They have them in the courthouse."

Not to mention airports.

Is Stevens right? Are metal detectors worth the cost and inconvenience? Local columnist Mike Mayo thinks not. If the charges against Teah Wimberly (pictured left) are true, would a metal detector have stopped her from bringing a gun on campus to shoot Amanda Collette (right)?

Do you think your child's school needs a metal detector? What lengths should we go to in order to ensure safety in school?

And in case you missed it, this post by Lois Solomon (Click Here) talks about a counseling resource for teenagers. This came out about two hours before the shooting.

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You know FCAT training has your child brainwashed when she starts insulting people in well-organized essays.

I'm going to change the name of the insulted, to protect her from knowing. But here's what my six-year-old first-grader said yesterday in the car. She was talking out loud, but to herself I suppose.

"I hate Shanna. She's a horrible person. First, she has the worst cafeteria manners. Next, she's the meanest person in the world. And last, she's a bad person. In conclusion, I hate Shanna.''

I wasn't sure whether to be impressed, or horrified.

I've told her it's not right to "hate'' anyone. But I do want her to pass the FCAT!

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We’re considering a new day care for our 11-month-old. Here’s why: My wife’s office moved to Tamarac, and mine is about to move to Deerfield. Without getting into great detail, there is a lot of schlepping going on these days between Delray Beach and Fort Lauderdale -- with more to come if we don’t adjust. (Our 2-year-old attends a Montessori in Boca Raton.)

So I’m looking for recommendations for day cares in Tamarac or thereabouts. The I-95 corridor up to Deerfield is also an option. We may stay where we are, but it’s worth seeing what’s out there. Suggestions?

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I got a little bit of helpful advice from my son's middle school principal. I had just shelled out $35 or $40 for a new backpack. And she suggested I buy one or two more.

Great idea!

The principal advised in a letter to parents that our kids could really have their crap together if they color coordinated their backpacks to the classes of the day. And I quote:

"Parents have found it helpful to have two or even three different colored backpacks to maintain organization at home, especially in th emornings when everyone is in a hurry to get out of the house.''

Hmmm, I thought. Did principal Kris Black read this in a Martha Stewart magazine?

The school, Seminole Middle in Plantation, is on block scheduling, so on Tuesdays and Thursdays they have four 85-minute classes, and on Wednesdays and Fridays they have four different classes, and on Mondays they have a short version of all eight classes.

I asked Creed what he thought of the idea.

"Creed, do you want me to buy you different colored backpacks for your odd and even days?''

"No,'' he said indignantly.

"Why not?' I asked.

"I'm not organized!,'' he said, as if the word "organized'' was a disease.

"Yes," I said, picturing his messy closets, "I know.''

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There is no good reason that high school starts each day at 7:28 a.m.

Anyone with teenagers knows how difficult it is to rouse them out of a deep sleep at 6 or 6:30 a.m. That's because their puberty-loaded body clocks have shifted, not letting them fall asleep until 10:30 or 11 p.m., according to the Mayo Clinic. Studies show teenagers need at least eight, and preferably nine or 10 hours of sleep a night.

Obviously, it's impossible for them to be alert and performing at their maximum when they're sleep deprived. But local school districts refuse to change the schedules, citing after-school jobs, extracurricular activities and bus driver complications. Give me a break! What's more important?

Middle school start times around 9:30 a.m. are similarly absurd. Many kids I know, just out of elementary school, have to leave their empty houses and walk themselves to the bus stop because their parents have already left for work.

Can we do something about this? How can we get the school districts to take a serious look at this?

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Some college presidents believe 18-year-olds are mature enough to make rational decisions about how much to drink.

More than 100 have lent their support to the Amethyst Initiative, which theorizes that the drinking age just encourages those under 21 to binge and break the law with their fake IDs. If 18-year-olds can vote, enlist in the military and serve on juries, they say, why can't they order at a bar?

Some big-name universities have signed on, including the presidents of Dartmouth, Duke, Ohio State, University of Maryland and Syracuse.

Do you think the drinking age should go down to 18? Or do you think the higher age prevents car accidents and stupid decisions?

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I'm about to enter a new era in family chaos: three kids at three different schools, elementary, middle and high.

Each school starts at a different time (7:28 a.m. high school, 8 a.m. elementary school, 9:30 a.m. middle school), which means I will be making sure a different kid gets off at the right time for about two hours each morning, at least in the beginning. I will also be giving up my morning exercise routine until I figure out how to squeeze it in amid the comings and goings.

But on my mind even more is how to divide my volunteer time. I can't volunteer at three schools. Or can I? I am already besieged with e-mails from each school asking me to help out at back-to-school events. I have not responded to any of them, feeling like I am being disloyal to one of the kids if I pick their sibling's school.

How have you handled having kids at different schools and divvying up your volunteer efforts?

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I was pretty dismayed when I read my letter from Seminole Middle School Principal Kris Black. It welcomed parents to an exciting school year, and listed "upcoming important dates.''

And once again, the at-home moms are favored above all. The school is holding its parent
meeting for its DECAL program (Division of Enhanced Communication and Law for advanced and gifted students) during work hours on Wednesday. It's at 3 p.m.

I called the school to ask why they're holding it during the day and to register my discontent. They always hold it during the day, I was told. "Unfortunately, the teachers aren't here in the evenings,'' I was told.

So once a year they can't accommodate the parents by holding the meeting at 5:30 p.m.?

Or do they not want the parents to be able to come?

I might be able to get off work for two to three hours in order to drive out there, attend the meeting, try to address my son's schedule (he said they put him in Sign Language II instead of Spanish II) and return to work downtown. But how many other working parents will be able to? What if they work in Miami or Palm Beach County?

Black tells us in her letter that research shows that "when the home and the school work closely together'' children benefit.

I agree. But I've noticed over the years that the schools cater to the parents (usually moms) who don't work.

Moms who work have it tough. We labor all day, and then we go home and have to take care of housework, homework and everything else, crammed into the few hours until bedtime. It takes a lot of effort to be an involved parent in your child's school if you work full-time. I'll bet the kids of working parents are the ones most at-risk of failing in school. These are the kids and parents the schools should be trying harder to reach.

It sure would be nice if principals like Black faced reality and tried to make it a little easier for the working parents to be involved.

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Ana Isabel turns three next month. And all the talk among the parents of the three-year-old set is whether to send their children to Pre-K 3.

First off, Ana seems a bit young to me to be going to school. For Pete's sake, she's not even potty trained yet. (But that's a question for another post).

I don't see the benefit of sending Ana to what's essentially glorified day care. She's a bright child already reciting the alphabet and counting up to 12 in English and Spanish. She gets to 20 with a little prodding. She speaks in full sentences, albeit short ones she repeats all the time like "I don't want to!"

I know there's an argument to be made for socializing children at this age. Ana gets along well with other children, shares and plays well with others.

The certified teacher that runs the Mommy-and-Me program that Ana attends told my wife that everything Ana would learn in Pre-K 3, can be taught at home with simple lessons.

So can someone please explain to me the benefits to sending my child to Pre-K 3?

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Here’s an interesting Sun-Sentinel story for parents who would like their kids to speak another language. I fall into the category of a “parent who doesn’t speak another language but would like my kids to be bilingual.” Of course, I’ve studied lots of French and Spanish over the years, but I’m a long way from bilingual.

But it’s hard work to teach kids a language you don’t really speak. Georgia East's story offered some good suggestions. Two stuck out: join or start a playgroup to focus on the language; and use books and videos to help the process along. Along those lines, I’m looking for recommendations. Anyone know a good children’s book in Spanish? And how about children’s music in Spanish?

There’s also a bigger question to ponder: What are the drawbacks of dual-language schools? I’m not talking about traditional bilingual education for kids who don’t speak English at home. That’s a different debate, full of politics. I’m thinking about schools we would seek out that would immerse our kids another language. Oftentimes, these schools follow the educational model of another country. Everyone seems to love them. That kind of consensus usually makes me nervous. So what are the concerns?

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Can you picture our kids refusing to take the FCAT? Some eighth graders in the Bronx refused to take a practice exam for their end-of-the-year state social studies test and now their teacher may get fired.
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According to this story in the New York Daily News, the entire eighth grade at Intermediate School 318 handed in blank exams and petitions that listed their grievances, which included "constant, excessive and stressful testing."

There seems to be a question about whether their social studies teacher coaxed them into doing this. But I was intrigued by the teenagers' courage. It's hard to imagine our Florida kids taking a similar risk, and I'm not sure I'd want them to. Still, I give the Bronx kids credit for taking a stand.

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Attention, students.

This is not
a good outfit
for the prom.

I know you thought it would be a good idea, but please do NOT WEAR PAJAMAS to the FORMAL DANCE!!!

Apparently there is enough real danger of eighth-graders doing just that, yes, wearing their p.j.s to the high school f-o-r-m-a-l, that Seminole Middle School felt the need to send an alert in the school newsletter.

And it says, after noting a formal dress code, that "the following is NOT ALLOWED!'': Jeans, sneakers, slippers, PJs, underwear that's showing, low necklines, bare midriffs, strapless dresses.

Am I the only one surprised by this? Don't 13- and 14-year-olds know that an evening gown is not the same as a night gown? Don't they know that Cinderella's "slippers'' were made of glass, not fuzz?

I know fashions do change over time, but come on!

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I thought I knew it all regarding teaching my kids about who is allowed to touch them and how they should report it. But I have to admit I learned a lot while covering a presentation last week to kids by the Diocese of Palm Beach.

Kit Johansen, who directs the diocese's Office of Serving Children, offered several tips beyond the standard "tell an adult if someone touches you," including:

Don't make kids hug or kiss adults, even if they're relatives.

Have your child make lists of adults they feel comfortable with and adults who give them the creeps, and then have a conversation about these people.

Be familiar with the adults who hang out in community gathering places, such as parks, playgrounds, ball fields, swimming pools. These grown-ups could be casing out us parents to see how much attention we're paying to our kids.

Tell the kids to blame us if they want to get out of an uncomfortable situation. "My mother doesn't want me to" is a fine excuse.

The diocese, and all the dioceses across the country, are doing these presentations to make people more aware of sex abuse. It's in response to the priest molestation scandals that made big news in 2002. Although the seminars may not get to the core of the problem, at least they're getting parents to think about the many opportunities there are for kids to encounter creepy adults.

For more information and tips, go to this Web site: http://virtusonline.org/virtus/preview_pgc.cfm

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The Contra-Costa Times wrote about the new reality TV show that features students at Cypress Bay High School in Weston.

Here's a sample of what they wrote: " God bless Amanda Lorber, a senior at Cypress Bay High School in Weston, Fla., who says "Journalists are the most important part of the world."

It doesn't stay all rosey, though. The writer eventually comes to this conclusion: "Just one problem: "The Paper," while certainly worthwhile, has yet to live up to my lofty hopes. For one thing, Amanda's a bit of a dork — a power-hungry, show-tunes-loving Pollyanna who fails to see that she doesn't have the respect of her staff. Seizing upon this dynamic, the producers seem obsessed with turning her into one of those caricaturized love-to-hate-her females that TV thrives upon.''

Read the full story here.

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When you were in school, if you launched a mouthful of profanity in one of your classes, and your teacher overheard, could you have just paid the teacher 25 cents and been done with it?

If you said, "no, I would have received a painful paddling with a piece of wood'' then you are not a recent student at Cypress Bay High School in Weston.

Two of the teachers there apparently have "curse cans,'' where quarters are collected from students who use profanity in class.

I am judging a high school journalism contest and that's how I found out about this. Student journalist Emily Miller wrote about it for that school's newspaper, The Circuit.

One student was quoted saying "I have probably paid over $15.''

!!!!

That's 90 curse words that flew out of her mouth!

By the way, this is the same school and paper that are the subject of their very own MTV reality show.

This swear jar seems unfair. Why should rich kids be able to curse more than poor kids?

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I got a thick envelope in the mail from the Broward County School Board.

Must be important, I thought.

Inside was a packet of advertisements. The Miami Herald, Huntington Learning Center, Wyndham Vacation Resorts, Vonage phone service, Dish Network, Proactiv, ADT Home Security systems, Payless Shoes, Sears, and oh, a newsletter from the school board.

They might as well not bother throwing the flimsy newsletter in there. Most people probably don't get to it before they toss the packet in the trash.

I sure hope they're making lots of money selling out the parents to a bunch of advertisers.

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Baby's daycare is holding picture day later this month.

For a mere $35 or $60, 1-year-olds can appear as hula girls or sailor boys.

I was not prepared for the onslaught of school portraits to begin in daycare.

What has been your experience?

Did your child's daycare offer professional photo shoots? How did you handle it?

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Apparently a large percentage of kids get picked on at school.

Lily, my 6 year old, regularly complains of being bullied, usually at the hands of a boy who likes her. At Spring Break camp, a 5-year-old boy actually used the "F'' word in telling her "F--- you.'' I was quite surprised to hear this come out of her mouth. This same lad also told her that her mother (that's me) is ugly. I found that much more offensive than the first thing he said.

I find it really telling that boys start in kindergarten driving the females they love insane, as a way of showing love. Hmmm.

Anyway, our sister paper in Orlando, the Orlando Sentinel, has an interesting post about bullying on their parenting blog. Check it out by clicking here.

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A boy came into the peer tutoring class at my daughter's middle school looking for help on his Spanish I homework. The teacher turned to the two native speakers in the class and asked them to help. They happily agreed.

"What do you need?" one of them asked.

"Well," said the boy, "I don't understand how to conjugate these irregular verbs."

"Say what?" the two answered. "We have no idea what that is."

My daughter, who is making an A in Spanish II but is far from fluent, took a look. "Oh, yeah," she said. "This is what you do. Basically, you just have to memorize these ones that aren't like the others."

And that's how she became this boy's Spanish tutor. This made me laugh. Kids who speak Spanish can't teach it, but a kid who doesn't speak Spanish can?

We don't teach speakers of Spanish how to write, read and speak correctly in their native language until maybe high school or college -- if ever.

And apparently, we don't teach them enough about conjugating verbs in English that it makes sense to them in Spanish, too.

I've been told that this lack of correct Spanish is a pretty big issue for Spanish-language media, which often ends up passing over American employees in favor of people who have studied Spanish in their home countries the way that we study English.

It's too bad that schools in the United States can't teach native Spanish speakers about the structure of their own language while also teaching them English. Maybe if we did that, we could also teach Spanish to the English-only masses while they are still young enough to absorb new languages -- in elementary and middle school, not beginning in high school.

Ours is one of the few countries in the world with such poor instruction in foreign languages. Don't you think that should change?

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My oldest is only in eighth grade, but I am getting panicky about my kids getting into college, and us affording it.

There seems to be an endless barrage of news stories about the highly competitive nature of college admissions today, the constantly rising costs, the difficulty of getting into places like the University of Florida, and on and on and on.

The latest one that increased my anxiety said Florida's state university system may need to cut $92 million, which would include limiting the number of kids who get accepted.

Maybe the situation won't be as desperate in a few years when it's time for my kids to apply. But then again, it probably will be. Are you getting nervous, too?

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Since I am often quick to critcize the school lunch program -- particularly in light of the horrendous choice the program made with its beef supplier -- let me also be the first to praise when school lunch goes right.

Today Broward County Public Schools announced that it will offer a vegetarian lunch option starting next week. Unfortunately, only three schools get the privilege of choosing a Gardenburger: Everglades High, Driftwood Middle and Eagle Point Elementary.

I have to hope that these schools are just a test to see if students will choose a Gardenburger. I know mine would. I'm still hoping for other vegetarian choices beyond a salad bar or cheese pizza -- lentil soup, vegetable soup, black beans and rice, or perhaps a nice bean and cheese burrito?

But the Gardenburger is a great start. It's a far better choice than beef, even when the beef is not from a questionable source. Gardenburgers have no saturated fat, no transfat, no cholesterol. They are high in protein, so they fill kids up. The production of Gardenburgers uses no methane (a byproduct of cattle that contributes to global warming). AND they taste good!

Altogether, a better choice. Thank you, Broward Schools.

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