I was talking to a mom with twin girls this weekend and the conversation about school came up. My daughter and her fraternal twin daughters are both first graders.

I immediately wanted to know if they were in the same class.

I’m realizing there is a lot of debate around this issue. The mom I spoke to on Saturday said she wanted to keep her girls together in the same class but that arrangement was not allowed at the school they attend locally.

Her girls don’t look that much alike. They each have their own identities and sibling rivarly is not a big issue at her house. From a practical standpoint, she thought having them in the same class would cut down on homework time since they would both have the same work and could guide each other through it.

But she wasn't given that choice. I can't help but wonder how many other parents are in the same boat.

It seems there is no definitive answer about whether splitting twins up at school is a good thing.

The National Organization of Mothers of Twins Club publishes the book “Placement of Multiple Birth Children in School,’’ which highlight some factors to consider.

Some parents and experts say it really depends on the twins. While some twins look forward to being apart at school, there are others who are not ready for this kind of separation, which can prompt anxiety, experts warned.

My feeling is that there should not be a blanket policy for all twins. In the end, parents should get the final say on this one.

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Teachers, grandparents, anyone who appreciates folk tales -- this one's for you.

Follow this link to Tell Me a Story -- folk tales from around the world -- brought to you by the Sun-Sentinel's wonderful Newspapers in Education program.

For years the Sun-Sentinel ran this feature in print. But you can still find it online, complete with the beautiful illustrations.

Over the years, I heard from a lot of grandparents who sent this feature to their grandkids up north.

And many many teachers, who used this weekly feature in their classrooms. Elementary teachers use it to teach about cultures and fables. Young kids really like how each story has a problem or obstacle that is overcome. Teachers of older students use it in English or Literature classes. And teachers of English as a Second Language use it because the language is simple and many of the stories are familiar to people from a variety of cultures.

A new story is posted every week. This week, it's the Greek myth about Scylla and Charybdis, when Odysseus (or Ulysses) finds himself "between a rock and hard place."

Amy Friedman is the nationally syndicated writer who adapts the stories; Jillian Gilliland's beautiful illustrations accompany each story.

Go to Sun-Sentinel.com/nie for this and other helpful teaching tools. Or find it at Sun-Sentinel.com/features/your-kids. We'll post a new story every Monday.

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It’s time to get serious now, we’re talking school lunches.

Bring ‘em or buy ‘em, either way, school lunches deserve a parent’s focus and consideration.

I’m as interested in packaging as I am ingredients.

On most occasions, I pack The Kid’s lunch in a brown paper bag. He folds it up and closes it between pages of a book after lunch, that way, he isn’t carry a bulky empty object. He re-uses the bag til the thing basically dies – up to a month or more sometimes. I wrap his sandwich in wax paper sheets. (I love the wax bags but can never find them.) Sometimes his drink is a water in a bottle he re-uses, or box drinks.

Whole Foods Market even partnered with the Fort Lauderdale Museum of Science and Discovery by providing nutritional snacks with environmentally low-impact packaging to summer camp attendees.

When I shop for food, just about everywhere you look, there are great simple recipes using produce, fish, meats, grains and dairy products.

For some upfront investment in prep and cooking time – you can send your kid packing with fresh, cool (as in hip), filling and healthy snacks and lunches.

If you rely on school-provided lunches, this just-released news today about another Whole Foods initiative might interest you:

Renegade Lunch Lady” Chef Ann Cooper will partner with Whole Foods Market to launch the Virtual Lunch Box Web Portal, which will enable administrators and like-minded “lunch ladies” throughout the country to reform their meal plans by offering the necessary tools and resources. The portal will serve as the most comprehensive, easily accessible, and free set of resources available, offering scalable recipes, training resources and educational tools.

Links to the joint projects enlighten us parents to the daunting task of what’s involved in the planning and feeding a mass of kids in a smart yet affordable manner.

The School Food Project – Boulder, CO

Sundance Channel: Grains of Change

If you’re on Twitter, follow other concerned parents to ask questions, share ideas and resources beginning with @SSParents and @lunchboxbunch and @WFMFtLauderdale

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

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Some uptight parents at Morikami Park Elementary School west of Delray Beach want these sculptures removed before school starts on Aug. 18.

The set is in a shopping center near the school, and parents say the nudity is upsetting their children.

I get my hair cut in this shopping center, Addison Plaza, and never even noticed the statues before the controversy emerged. The family of three is called "Journey to the New," by Boca Raton sculptor Itzik Asher, and represents the voyage of Russian and Ethiopian Jews to Israel.

Our kids today learn almost nothing about art, never mind nudity in art. Their only exposure to nudity is the semi-porn they see on TV and in videos. So if you pass this sculpture with your kids, I say get out of the car and talk to them about the beautiful ways artists can interpret the human body.

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I’m referring to the summer reading lists schools post on their websites or at local bookstores.

Hopefully, your child is taking the time to crack open a few books – you might have to re-direct them away from their iPod Touch, video games and computers.

My son selected a book from his school’s list.

He’s not thrilled about the book he selected either-but it was his choice. He had the opportunity to pick from several authors and titles. I’d like to think that rather than just being critical, he’s practicing critical thinking.

The author’s writing style bothers him and he shares those examples. He thinks the plot is slow-moving and discusses where he feels the author doesn’t deliver.

Still, he is sticking to reading the book to its finish. And I’d like to see him read at least another book from the list.

My son was so completely unenthusiastic about getting a book from the list, it was like pulling teeth. Frankly, I don’t get why students dread or sneer at the idea.

But a USA Today opinion piece by an English teacher gives insight on why some teachers empathize with the students’ "pain."

An in depth Christian Science Monitor article discusses the modernization of summer reading lists. Students have to make selections from books they might not otherwise – well, select. They expand their horizons by looking beyond their interests.

There’s also value in the tangible experience of holding a book.

Reading and turning it’s pages and placing a bookmark between chapters gets kids out of their “myspace” mentality.

Of course if they’re going to read books from a Kindle or other electronic book reader, that’s a different story.

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I wanted to take this time to impart my wisdom on being fashion savvy when it comes to high school students. But I realized I have no fashion sense – none. Nada.

This is the cleverest thing we came up with at home: We’re not shopping for back-to-school clothes yet – The Kid is spouting like Jack’s beanstock!

Even though school is around the corner, we’re waiting until a week or two after school has started to refresh his wardrobe. Of course, if there is some emergency must-have fashion, we’ll take that under consideration.

But even he thinks waiting is good because he’d get a better idea of what to wear, in high school. Being that it will be his first year, that’s not a bad idea.

I could sew him some new clothes – no, really I couldn’t. Hand-me downs are out – for one, he’s taller than me now!

So, between now and then, I’m pretty much open to suggestions. Only, I’m looking for humor, because it’s the most affordable [free].

Share you’re ideas here, along with your donation for our Buy The Kid Some Clothes Fund. Kidding about the fund.

But looking forward to your funny experiences, advice and tips; on the lighter side of getting your kid wardrobe-ready for their first big day as a kindergartner; or middle schooler or high school student.

Personally, I’ll appreciate it, even if my son doesn’t.

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Just before the end of the school year, every year, my kids' schools decide to squeeze in sex education.

The letter comes home giving us the option of opting out. I never opt out, and always make sure to ask the kids what they learned.

It's funny to hear them recount the lessons. My sixth grader said her science teacher introduced the topic this way: "Let's get two words out of the way. PENIS. And VAGINA."

My fourth grader remembered only that her teacher discussed menstrual cramps. At least that's what she told me.

I love the way the schools leave these controversial lessons for the last few days of the year, post-FCAT, minimizing the ability of parents to complain. This way, by the time parents call in to talk about the lessons or ask questions, the school year is over and no one has the energy or interest to engage in discussion.

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Lots of Palm Beach County parents are complaining about a school district plan to make elementary school teachers teach specialty subjects instead of a little bit of everything, as they do now. Click here for the story that ran in the Sun Sentinel.

I don't see anything wrong with this plan. Many elementary school teachers admit that certain subjects are not their strong point. Why not let them show their strengths, which ultimately will reflect on to the kids?

The kids also get to see a variety of teaching styles and get to move around a little more instead of staying glued to their seats for hours.

Some schools are taking the plan, designed for third-, fourth- and fifth-graders, and applying it to kindergartners. That may be going a little too far. And I still have lots of questions about the plan for the older kids (which I just e-mailed to my daughter's fourth-grade teacher). But overall, this seems like a creative idea that costs nothing and has lots of potential for good.

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This hurts.

Read this today in MassLive.com:

SPRINGFIELD - Hundreds of people filled the Alden Baptist Church Monday for the funeral of Carl J. Walker-Hoover, the 11-year old boy who hung himself last week after complaining of bullying by classmates at the New Leadership Charter School.

"Our prayers are that this crisis will make Springfield a better community," said the Rev. Hugh A. Bair, who delivered the eulogy that capped the 2.5-hour service.

"The name calling must stop; the bullying must stop," he said, resulting in applause from the overflow crowd.
...
His mother said he suffered taunts and threats from other students who made fun of him, insulted the way he dressed and called him gay since he began attending the school in September, Walker said. Read the rest here.

I had a very difficult time reading this article because it’s so senseless and painful, to know people can be so unenlightened and cruel.

I am sorrowful for the mother, for young Carl. I'm sad for all of us. In the death of this 11-year-old boy, a victim of harassment and bullying, who hanged himself, we're all victims, regardless of our sexual orientation.

There are untold numbers of victims in this case: Those who fear coming out about their sexuality; those who fear helping; those who have LGBT friends and family members. Those who just want to ask questions.

This month, a local church is hosting a workshop that many people can benefit from.

Riviera Presbyterian Church is hosting “Gender Identity and Our Faith Community,” a public workshop from 1p.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 26.

This is Riviera's promotion about the event:

Do you know what 'gender identity' means to you? Have you ever wondered what struggles transgender people face? Do you have questions about where our ideas of 'appropriate' gender expression stem? Do you feel called as a person of faith to stand with those who are marginalized, but are not sure how to advocate politically from a religious voice? If you answer yes to any of these questions than we have a FREE workshop for you!

Please join Riviera Presbyterian Church on Sunday, April 26th from 1 pm to 4 pm for a moving discussion on 'Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities' sponsored by the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign. We will be joined by HRC staff member and transgender educator, Allyson Robinson, who will lead us from acceptance to advocacy on issues of gender identity and LGBT equality. This workshop will challenge us, liberate us, and help us grow as a community committed to justice for everyone.

Address: Riviera Presbyterian Church, 5275 Sunset Drive, Miami. The free workshop is open to the public. RSVP: Phone: 305-666-8586. E-mail: rivierachurch@bellsouth.net. Website.

There are resources all over the country as well as locally.
Volunteers and experts are dedicated to getting the word out about nonviolence, LGBT issues, mentoring and more.

Pridelines Youth Services

YES Institute

Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians

Compass Community Center, Palm Beach.

Gay, Lesbian Community Center, Fort Lauderdale.

There are many opportunities to embrace, to learn, to understand issue that surround sexuality and gender orientation.

People of all ages can learn a thing or two –and they should. It’s OK to reach beyond what you know, beyond your comfort zone.

Sometimes that might mean hearing what you don’t want to hear. It might be being with folk that aren’t like you.

But nothing is quite like making yours and your child’s world bigger – through understanding and knowledge.

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What’s on your refrigerator?

Those drawings, homemade cards and magnets, yep - it's art. Our refrigerators serve as that hallowed Wall of Fame, the Living Museum for our child's creations. Every one of us has kids - and our kids are naturally gifted artists!

We alone possess their unique, original art - drawings of the family pet, a sunset, monsters and dinosaurs, fantastical worlds and perfect profiles. Masterpieces all.

Yet, we want all the world to see. It's time to share with the rest of us Moms and Dads.

Honor your toddler or teen: From the humorous to the serious; the whimsical to the introspective, bring it on - "hang" it up on our virtual family kitchen refrigerator.

We'll shuffle through those treasured toddler drawings and scribbles and the sophisticated draftings and renderings your teenagers create.

Then we'll post photos of their work each week. Here's how:

Take a photo of your child's art work and upload it to Refrigerator Art.

Once submitted, approval of the art can take up to 12 hours.

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Wow, homework is a hot topic.

We’re only looking out for our kids’ interests, from many points of view.

My last blog entry This just in: Kids assigned too much homework? elicited a lot of reaction from South Florida parents.

Eliza felt strongly that teachers are overly micromanaged: “We tie teachers' hands and continually lower the bar for our kids regarding their education.”

And Julie presented another perspective: “Yes, they need to learn discipline to enter the workforce, however, do adults spend most weekends and evenings doing work? or do adults go home from work and golf, ski, hike, go to movie, etc? I work full time, but I don't work every night for 2 hours and every weekend for 6 hours.”

Somewhere in the middle is balance - and truth. An elementary school student bringing home two hours worth of homework begs the following questions: Why? What happened in class that day? Does the student have difficulty paying attention? Is it really class work that was not completed? Is it really a 30-minute assignment but you are having trouble keeping your child on task? Maybe there is some fessing up to be done.

And teachers just might possibly appreciate the guidelines. I’d love to hear from some. Is every homework assignment graded? What's the value in giving homework - it's just more work for you too.

I agree trips and getaways are tricky to plan when there is homework to be done.

So, what grade would you give the Broward County School Board for this initiative:
Broward County School Board sets homework limits.

What do you like about it, what would you change?

[UPDATE:] Take a look at today's March 20th story by Akilah Johnson: Education Debate Bringing home too much work?

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Let me get this straight: parents are complaining about the amount of homework their children are assigned.

Apparently the Broward County School Board is expected to vote on homework guidelines that instruct instructors to: provide increased academic challenges in a more coordinated assignment of homework and projects. Oh – and none over holiday breaks and weekends. It will become an actual policy. We paid taxes for this discussion!

I think teachers have their [home]work cut out for them on this one. I see more teacher-planning and staff meetings ahead. I guess teachers will have to add some teacher planning days to the school calendar. The more the better - that would be one less day of homework assignments, per planning day!

Of course I think most students can handle the homework load they get.

Parents overbook their kids in after school programs like dance, sports, clubs, etc.

Sure, some kids, maybe many, many kids have the drive to do 1,483 things after school. How many of those things include chores – that’s homework too.

But, what happened to the reward system? How about telling your future ballerina or football star that school matters?

Kids need to communicate what’s on their plate and plan. We do it as parents in the big-people’s world, and they’ll be a part of that one day.

Not too long ago, it was proposed that students get paid to attend school and do their school work. Wow!

Now, we’re asking the teacher to be considerate of weekends and holidays. How much of that valuable time will the kid spend in front of a TV, text-messaging friends, e-mailing and playing video games? Please.

I’m wondering: while we’re asking teachers to be so considerate, think I could get a couple over to my house to wash a few windows?

[UPDATE: The Broward County School Board approved today new homework guidelines that urge teachers to assign academically challenging work while also being considerate about not assigning too much homework over religious holidays and weekends.

While the policy is careful not to assign time limits for homework, the district's guidelines suggest 10 minutes of work for each grade level. So a first grader would get an assignment that takes about 10 minutes to finish, while a high school junior's total homework load would take 110 minutes to complete.]

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The Sun Sentinel reported that a first-grader wielding a kitchen knife robbed a 6-year-old classmate of one dollar at a Pembroke Pines school.

What is wrong with our children, their parents?? I'm looking for seriously constructive advice, here. Parents of reformed bullies speak out: what did you learn from the experience?

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I got a letter yesterday from my fourth grader's school that I wasn't sure how to interpret.

The school is also a polling place. Palm Beach County schools are open today, Election Day. As explained in this Sun-Sentinel story, some parents are concerned about their kids' safety when the schools have to abandon some security procedures to allow voters in.

The administrators also seem to be concerned, as our school principal expressed in this letter.

"All classrooms will be following the District Code Yellow protocols, keeping all doors locked and allowing only essential hallway activity. There will be no recess and cafeteria lunches will be delivered to the classroom."

"Teachers are being directed to review previously covered material and to not assign homework as we anticipate high student absenteeism during Election Day."

So are they encouraging us to keep our kids home? Either close the schools on Election Day or keep them open, but don't give us these cryptic messages that imply that the day will be a waste and it may be better to play hookey.

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I never know how much to restrict my kids' Halloween candy intake.

Am I a total party-pooper if I tell them they can only have two pieces at a time? Or am I negligent if I let them eat lots more?

As I've been thinking about this candy dilemma, I came across this list of "The Best Candy Ever" from babble.com. I'm partial to chocolate candy, but this list brought back lots of memories from my childhood trick or treating days, including Pumpkin Peeps, Sugar Babies and Dots.

On the other end of the sweets spectrum, the American Association of Orthodontists has a list of treats to avoid if your kid wears braces, including caramel, candy corn, nuts and bubble gum.

Do you let your kids indulge at Halloween? Or do you play Scrooge like me?

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You know FCAT training has your child brainwashed when she starts insulting people in well-organized essays.

I'm going to change the name of the insulted, to protect her from knowing. But here's what my six-year-old first-grader said yesterday in the car. She was talking out loud, but to herself I suppose.

"I hate Shanna. She's a horrible person. First, she has the worst cafeteria manners. Next, she's the meanest person in the world. And last, she's a bad person. In conclusion, I hate Shanna.''

I wasn't sure whether to be impressed, or horrified.

I've told her it's not right to "hate'' anyone. But I do want her to pass the FCAT!

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There is no good reason that high school starts each day at 7:28 a.m.

Anyone with teenagers knows how difficult it is to rouse them out of a deep sleep at 6 or 6:30 a.m. That's because their puberty-loaded body clocks have shifted, not letting them fall asleep until 10:30 or 11 p.m., according to the Mayo Clinic. Studies show teenagers need at least eight, and preferably nine or 10 hours of sleep a night.

Obviously, it's impossible for them to be alert and performing at their maximum when they're sleep deprived. But local school districts refuse to change the schedules, citing after-school jobs, extracurricular activities and bus driver complications. Give me a break! What's more important?

Middle school start times around 9:30 a.m. are similarly absurd. Many kids I know, just out of elementary school, have to leave their empty houses and walk themselves to the bus stop because their parents have already left for work.

Can we do something about this? How can we get the school districts to take a serious look at this?

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So by now the students are settling in, and you have heard from your kids about their teachers.

Sometimes you have what might be called "a bad fit." Your kid needs a pusher; you have a coddler. Or you may have a sensitive kid, and the teacher's a screamer. (Or so you perceive.)

What do you do? Suck it up? Take some kind of action?

What's the right thing to do?

Teachers, what's your experiences? Do you want to know if there's a 'bad fit?' (I have a decent pro-teacher background; my dad was an assistant principal for 35 years, but in another time, at another place.)

I'm writing up a story about that situation, and would appreciate some real-life anecdotes.

Email me at nsortal@sun-sentinel.com.

Thanks!

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There's something enduring about hand clapping games.

My 6-year-old daughter Lily makes me play them all the time. Just like I did when I was six.

You know what I'm talking about, where you clap hands with each other while singing the lyrics of a silly song?

Here's the one Lily was chanting the other day:

Mr. Mailman do your duty

Here comes a lady with a big, fat booty

She can do the pom pom

And she can do the twist

But most of all she can kiss kiss kiss

K-i s- s

What does that spell?

Kiss!

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I'm about to enter a new era in family chaos: three kids at three different schools, elementary, middle and high.

Each school starts at a different time (7:28 a.m. high school, 8 a.m. elementary school, 9:30 a.m. middle school), which means I will be making sure a different kid gets off at the right time for about two hours each morning, at least in the beginning. I will also be giving up my morning exercise routine until I figure out how to squeeze it in amid the comings and goings.

But on my mind even more is how to divide my volunteer time. I can't volunteer at three schools. Or can I? I am already besieged with e-mails from each school asking me to help out at back-to-school events. I have not responded to any of them, feeling like I am being disloyal to one of the kids if I pick their sibling's school.

How have you handled having kids at different schools and divvying up your volunteer efforts?

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I feel that I should retaliate against my cousin for buying Lily a Webkinz bunny.

He asked me if she had one, and informed me that his kids love their Webkinz so much they
are on the computer every single day.

Even though he's one of my favorite cousins, I should have burned the bunny right then and there.

It's cute and all. But Webkinz is one of those stuffed animals that comes with a secret code. And it turns out the bunny can be tossed in the fire. Because as long as your child gets that secret code, he or she has access to a special website where a cyberversion of the bunny "lives.'' And apparently it's so much fun even for a six-year-old, that they will want to hog your computer every extra minute.

I thought we had all decided that people who live cyberlives online, who have "jobs'' and "earn money'' and "purchase things'' all in quote marks, online, are socially deficient and pretty weird. No?

Yet almost every day, I have to hear Lily ask, "Mommy, can I get on w-w-w-dot?'' And I let her.

On the company's website, they answer such questions as: "Are the wishing well and the Wheel of Wow gambling?'' And "Can Webkinz pets die?''

I'll leave you hanging on the answers.

The game is educational I suppose. But so is going to the library and checking out five books.

Should I be writing in her babybook that her first logon name was "crystal5pink'' and her first password "babydolly5''?

And now that you all know her secrets, will she get on the website to find that someone has broken into her bunny's "apartment" and stolen the "pink couch" out of his "bedroom"? Will you get her bunny fired from his "job" "painting fences"?

Please, parents, help me find that perfect Christmas gift for my cousin this year.

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I walked in the door from shopping the other night, and Lily had a little office set up on the floor in the foyer.

She had her pink telephone, a stack of computer paper, the kind with the green and white stripes, and Bob's old computer keyboard. She was "typing'' furiously.

She got up and came to me in the kitchen. "My boss said if I don't get my work done, I'm going to lose my job!'' she told me.

"Wow, really?'' I asked.

"And my house. And my kids!'' she added.

Ummm. I guess Mommy and Daddy should not be talking so much about the bad economy, pending layoffs in various industries including our own, and the price of gas and food.

Whoops.

Then last night she asked me as I tucked her into bed: "Do we have enough food to eat? Are we going to run out?''

"Yes, we have enough food, and we have jobs so we make money and can buy more,'' I assured her.

"Good'' she said, "because I have $100 in my wallet and I want to buy a giant toy.''

I had never thought of raiding her little pink mermaid wallet to buy groceries. Until that moment.

Let's hope and pray we never get that desperate!

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I thought I knew it all regarding teaching my kids about who is allowed to touch them and how they should report it. But I have to admit I learned a lot while covering a presentation last week to kids by the Diocese of Palm Beach.

Kit Johansen, who directs the diocese's Office of Serving Children, offered several tips beyond the standard "tell an adult if someone touches you," including:

Don't make kids hug or kiss adults, even if they're relatives.

Have your child make lists of adults they feel comfortable with and adults who give them the creeps, and then have a conversation about these people.

Be familiar with the adults who hang out in community gathering places, such as parks, playgrounds, ball fields, swimming pools. These grown-ups could be casing out us parents to see how much attention we're paying to our kids.

Tell the kids to blame us if they want to get out of an uncomfortable situation. "My mother doesn't want me to" is a fine excuse.

The diocese, and all the dioceses across the country, are doing these presentations to make people more aware of sex abuse. It's in response to the priest molestation scandals that made big news in 2002. Although the seminars may not get to the core of the problem, at least they're getting parents to think about the many opportunities there are for kids to encounter creepy adults.

For more information and tips, go to this Web site: http://virtusonline.org/virtus/preview_pgc.cfm

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My 6-year-old daughter is extremely jealous of anyone else I show affection to, outside the family.

She quizzes me relentlessly about how much I love the person -- often a friend of hers I gave a hug to, or was nice to. So I told her that "God says we should love everyone.''
Her response was, "Well, I don't.''

Ever since then she is constantly checking the level of mommy's Love for Complete Strangers. It's a concept she cannot accept.

I took her to T.Y. Park in Hollywood Saturday for her birthday. She wanted to know if I loved everyone there at the park that day, and if so, how much, compared to my love for her.

I've tried to explain the concept of loving people as friends, but she doesn't understand it. Ditto for the idea that people are capable of infinite amounts of love, and giving my love to someone else does not require subtracting any from her.

Still, my rule of thumb is if your child is seeking affirmation of your love, you give it, even if it's wrapped in an annoying interrogation where you are the Betrayer for calling another child "Sweetie.''

I'm beginning to conclude, though, that some people are born with insecurities and they're not all the product of experience, as I had once thought.

Yesterday she even found herself struggling over the idea that before she was born, I did not love her! This is an idea she came up with, of course.

And she was talking it out with me, trying to come to grips with a world in which her older brother, Creed, was the sole object of momma's affection.

"But you didn't even exist, Lily!'' I told her in my own defense.

She frowned and I could see her trying to accept this explanation. She's probably still mulling it over.

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It sure must be strange trying to figure out how the world works, when you're only 5.

The other day Lily was throwing her boy Baby Alive doll in the air, while jumping on the trampoline.

"If I throw him way up into the sky,'' she worried, "will I get him back?''

This week she was baffled about old age. Maybe her concerns come from the fact that her grandfather's been in the hospital. First she asked me, "can someone be 400 years old?''

"No.'' That was an easy one!

Then she posed this inquiry: "What will we look like when we're 80?''

I said, "I don't know, hon.''

And she said: "You will look very disgusting.''

Thanks a lot

I didn't respond to that so she elaborated.

"The skin on your face will get all smooshed,'' she said.

I was too tired to give a life lesson about beauty being on the inside. I hadn't even had my coffee yet.

"Yeah,'' I said, "I know.''

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It happens every January: We commit to selling too many Girl Scout cookies, and the burden falls not on my girls, but on me and my husband.

In the first couple of days, the kids are thrilled to organize the cookies (nine varieties this year!) and go around the neighborhood selling ($3.50 a box). But then they tire of it. And we grown-ups do too.

We ask our co-workers and friends and relatives to buy cookies. And we still have cartons left.

We can return them to the troop leader, but then we would feel like we didn't do our duty, work hard enough, live up to Girl Scout ideals. So we will continue bugging everyone we know until they are gone.

Do you help your kids sell cookies? What's your strategy?

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I haven't taught my kinds that circuses are not universally embraced.

I've never hinted at the idea that the animals could be mistreated, or at the very least, might not be having fun entertaining crowds of thousands in a Miami arena by hopping around a circle on their hind legs rather than scouting something smaller than them to kill and eat in the jungle.

Say it ain't so!

At the end of our holiday vacation, we took both kids to the opening night of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus at American Airlines Arena in Miami, which is running through Jan. 13.

It was a great family night out. We were acting out an American cliche: the family eating cotton candy at the circus, inhaling the excitement of the flying trapeze and the stench of elephant dung.

But Creed, our 7th grader, is a born animal rights activist. He does not condone the killing of bugs even when they are caught inside the house and are so small they would not squirt any blood if squashed under a shoe. Nope, Creed has to usher the wayward bug outside to live out its rightful years in suburban Plantation.

So although I was mum on the issue of circus animal abuse, Creed burst our emotional circus bubble as soon as he saw the animal that most closely resembles a dog (the tigers, which were AWESOME!).

Our conversation went something like this:

"He's whipping them!'' Creed whispered.

"All trainers use whips. He's not whipping them, it's just a loud sound the tigers are trained to respond to,'' I said.

"No, they're scared, you can tell,'' he insisted. "He whips them.''

"Creed, this man is in a cage with half a dozen tigers. He's brave. They could eat him alive. If they hated him, they would devour him right now. No tiny whip would deter them.''

"They're flinching. You can tell they hate him,'' he went on.

"They're having fun, Creed, just like dogs enjoy learning obeying their masters and learning how to 'sit' and other things that don't come naturally. They love doing this.''

"No, they don't. They're not wagging their tails.''

"You're such an animal rights activist,'' I said.

"You're such a human,'' he responded.

I didn't see any protesters. But a group called Animal Rights Florida has some horrific allegations about the mistreatment of circus elephants by this outfit.

Meanwhile, Lily, who is only in kindergarten, was in awe, and loved her $12 cotton candy.

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Do your kids tell "blonde" jokes?

I put my foot down yesterday when my 11-year-old tried to give a "Blonde Test" to a blonde eight-year-old in our carpool.

These tests attempt to embarrass the test-taker by showing they are unable to figure out some kind of riddle. My kids have also told blonde jokes, which have the same theme about blondes' alleged lack of intelligence.

Are these jokes considered acceptable now? To me they are just as bad as telling racial or religious or homosexual jokes.

I explained to my daughter how such jokes are inappropriate and she totally did not get it. But I hope she will at least stop telling them.

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Sari Weltman of Nob Hill Elementary suggests we take a look at the nutritional analysis of the lunch menu items.

She compares it to McDonald's menu, which she emailed me: One McDonald's cheeseburger has 300 calories and 12 grams of fat. A breaded chicken patty sandwich, offered by Broward County, has 340 calories and 15 grams of fat.

School macaroni and cheese has 340 calories and a whopping 22 grams of fat.

She writes:

Don't you think it's hypocritical for schools to mandate 30 minutes of p.e. a day, when the cafeteria's lunch offerings undermine those efforts?

As a parent and teacher, I would like the answers to the following questions:

1. Why don't schools offer SKIM milk to students? (Yes, lowfat is offered, but fat-free is not)

2. Why can't school lunches include more fresh fruits and vegetables. Offering a salad option is a good start, but why not provide salad with every meal?

3. Why are schools allowed to have vending machines that sell chips, candy, and soda?

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Sometimes a story turns out differently that you expect.

When I began researching an article about the state and a PE mandate, I thought I'd see schools scrambling, struggling and whining. Personally, I think the school day is too short (only six hours in Broward) and I feel that parents, rather than schools, are responsible for a child's health.

But after collecting data from about a half-dozen schools, I actually saw a pretty big change. More schools pushing fitness, and the children picking up on its importance.

Paradigms are heavy, someone once said, so it takes a lot to shift.

But I still wonder about the teachers out there: Is this the way to go about it?

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As I see SUVs, mega-vans, trucks and other gas-guzzlers waiting for their kids at the bus stop or in front of my kids' schools, I think: Pollution. Global warming. Exhaust fumes. Waste of gas.

I cannot understand how people idle their cars indefinitely. Aren't they as concerned about our energy problems as I am?

Obviously, the answer is no.

According to the Union of Concerned Scientists, you should turn off your car if you are going to idle for more than 30 seconds. I think most South Florida drivers would laugh if they heard that.

There are times we must idle our cars. I'm thinking of a slow-moving carpool line where you can't just turn off your motor. Or when it's really, really hot out and you can't leave your car for whatever reason.

But I see cars arrive at our elementary school an hour before school gets out, just so they can be first in line, and they keep their motors running! I see people parking in the school's fire lane, running into after-care to get their kids, and they leave the car on!

Do you idle your car? I would love to hear why. Maybe I am missing something here.

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We drive our kids to school, then hurry to pick them up so we can take them to sports or some exercise class.

I've posted it before, but again, why not just walk?

Except this time, there's an event: International Walk to School Day next month. The good news: So far, 88 schools in Florida have enrolled. The bad: Only one is in South Florida, Waters Edge Elementary in Boca Raton.

OK, here's the pitch. Go to the Walk to School Day site, click on the How to Get Started button and take it to your PTA or principal. Send us a picture afterward and we'll post it on this blog.

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Each fall and spring, Broward public and charter schools take children, mostly kindergarteners, on school time to a local pool to teach them water safety.

The lessons are free. You just have to remember to send your child to school in a swim suit, and pack dry underwear.

It's the county's attempt to address the problem of child drowning in South Florida. We have water everywhere, so we're better off if our children know how to swim.

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So it’s finally happened. This year, my daughter has teachers who have thrown out all pretense of teaching anything other than FCAT.

Last night at her school’s open house, I sat, stunned, as her English teacher explained that there would be no curriculum other than FCAT practice until after the writing test in February. This is for a class of the most advanced students in the school. “I don’t teach any literature at all until after that time,” the English teacher said. “I’m sure you all understand.”

I don’t understand. Not at all. I’m speechless.

The principal pops her head in the classroom to cheerily tell us parents that this teacher was responsible for ten children scoring the top score of 6 on the FCAT writing exam last year. She’s just great, the principal says. The best in the school!

You know what? I don’t care what my kid gets on that test. I’d prefer that she enjoy expressing herself writing. I’d like for her to be challenged to think creatively. I wish her teachers might at least try not to suck the last bit of pleasure she takes in learning right out of her.

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You think your property insurance is high, you should see how expensive it has become to be my neighbor. My poor neighbors have been asked to purchase cups and trinkets and flower bulbs and all variety of fund-raising crapola over the years, for these school and sport fund-raisers.

Matter of fact they just purchased a set of four sports cups from my son, to benefit his football team.

Now I get a pile of booklets full of candles and other "treasures'' they sent home with my five-year-old BABY who just started kindergarten.

I pictured her knocking on doors, and actually for a second, I was just trying to decide whether it would be negligent if I sent her around a block alone, where surely the residents of my neighborhood would be smitten with this itty bitty saleslady and buy her wares.

Yes, negligent. Can't leave her in car alone at liquor store, can't send her out as a door-to-door salesman. I'm learning!

Then Lily dropped the bomb. This was not a project for her at all. It's Parent Homework!

"We can win jewelry! Mommy, I really want the jewelry. Will you do this for me?''

I looked at the materials, and sure enough it tells the kids not to sell door to door.

"Parents,'' the note reads, "this is a family project. Please DO NOT allow students to sell door to door.''

Do they really think I want to ask my co-workers to buy wrapping paper and mint patties to benefit my child's school? Cripes.

Couldn't they leave the fund-raisers to the parents who don't pay taxes?

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Unrelated strange quote of the week, asked by Creed during algebra homework last night: "If I had three arms, would you amputate one of them?''

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My fourth grade daughter's class has decided it's all Shaq's fault. They lost recess, but gained daily PE, because Shaquille O'Neal has pointed out that there are a lot of fat kids who don't get any exercise.

I have nothing against PE. I have nothing against Shaq. And in fact, I applaud the state Legislature for sending the message that health is just as important as the FCAT. But come on. Can't there be a happy medium? If anything should be legislated, it should be recess.

Erika's school was one of the good ones, one that actually didn't eliminate recess in its zeal to boost test scores. Granted, they've chipped away at the length of recess, but they still valued that wonderful tradition: Kids just playing. Freely. Outside.

Remember swinging on the monkey bars? Playing kickball and tetherball and four-square. Lots of things get resolved, and instigated, during recess. Relationships are tested. Hierarchies are established. What a proving ground for life! Sure, it's not always safe and easy. But it's memorable. In second grade Shelly Spencer stunned us by removing her fake tooth. In fifth grade Clay Coffey slipped on the ice and kicked me in the face. Clay died in a motorcycle accident after high school -- this kid I knew my whole life, but didn't necessarily like, or dislike. But I have a scar on my lip because of ... recess.

Why do adults, and specifically legislators, always muck everything up? Why couldn't principals place any value on free play? Why are the pressures so extreme that schools have to be forced BY LAW to send kids outside to run and jump and do all those things kids do so naturally? Kids who are cooped up inside all day working, working, working need to expend some energy, get refreshed, so they can get back to work. It's so obvious. And don't kids spend enough time in organized activities? We shuffle them from sport to lesson to play dates where overprotective moms mediate every argument and kiss every boo-boo. I just can't stand it anymore.

So now Erika's wonderfully academic teacher has to think about organizing soccer games during a time she otherwise would have been able to observe the kids interact during free play. Imagine what a teacher gains by observation. What kids gain by being able to get the teacher aside if they crave a little extra something.

Erika said, "Ms. D. doesn't know anything about soccer. But we do." My dream is that in some unintended way, kids will take back their time. Teachers will slyly subvert the system and turn daily PE into an exercise in kids taking control. Remember what happens when kids pick the teams and set the rules and referee? It's incredibly memorable ... and really really fun.

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You're settling into your school routine. You've had summer discussions about your carbon footprint. Schools are talking about fitness more. How about linking the three by leaving the car in the garage and walking or biking to school?

Sometimes we robotically go through our routines. One of ours -- which is ridiculous when you think about it -- is to drive our son to school early, so I can go home and run. My goal this year: walk with my son to school, about a mile, once a week. I'll give him a day of advance notice, so he can leave the heavy books at school.

If you've never done it before, and are getting resistance, test out your route with your child during the weekend. Take your time, pick your shady spots, and choose sidewalks with fewer intersections.

If you are biking, have your child practice locking up his or her bike during the weekend. If your child wears long pants, consider a chain guard or clothes clip to prevent his or her pants leg from getting caught in the chain. (A low-tech alternative: a rubber band, placed around the ankle.)

And recruit one of your children's friends to make the trip with you. You can find strength in numbers.

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There's nothing like learning the day before school starts that the School District has taken away your school bus.

I actually knew this could happen. State law says school districts only have to supply buses if the school is more than two miles away. The entrance to our neighborhood is slightly less than two miles away. But they could never find enough crossing guards to cover all the intersections in between, so they gave us a bus.

At orientation yesterday, our neighborhood learned they had taken away the bus. We heard they were supplying one crossing guard.

I thought there was going to be a riot. My neighbors were so angry! But I took it in stride and immediately set up a carpool.

What bothered me was we only heard through word of mouth. There should have been an official notification.

Have you had any transportation issues with the schools this week?

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OK, one week to go before school starts. Hope you've made a list of everything left to do.

Got your after-care situation lined up?

Bought the new backpack?

What will your child do for lunch?

I think we're in decent shape, which means I'm forgetting something. Tell me what you're worried about or working on this week, so that way I can run it through my mental check list.

Thanks.

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As I write this, my 7-year-old daughter is with a friend (and a parent) watching the movie Hairspray. (She loves tween stars Zac Ephron and Amanda Bynes, both of which are in the show.) She has been dying to see it and when the offer came this morning, I talked with the parent (my friend Renee) to see if she knew if it as appropriate for 7-year-olds. It is, after all, rated PG. (Renee said she had read about it and thought it was.) I hadn't had a chance to check it out.

So now, after the fact I realize, I looked it up on Common Sense Media, which reviews films, dvds and music for families.

While Common Sense gave it 4 stars (out of 5), it says its geared to the 11 and up crowd. I am thrilled to find that the major themes are accepting people's differences (whether its weight or skin color). Not sure if my daughter will pick up on these themes, but I am anxious to hear her questions and comments about the movie.

This reminds me of one of the first conversations I had about the awareness of race with my daughter, when she was about 4. She came home from school with a self portrait and had colored her skin a peach color. (I am of Indian origin so I have brown skin; She is half Indian, half Irish American, but she also has brown skin.)

I said, "Priya, why did you make yourself that color?"
She said, "Because it's skin color. Mackenzie says that's what color it is."
I said, "But you and Mackenzie don't have the same skin color. Yours is brown, just like mine. Mackenzie's is peach. And other people have different colors."
She thought about it for a while and said, "You're right."
Accepted it, just like that. Ever since, she's colored herself brown.

K.V.W.

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My 10-year-old daughter Rachel has been at two camps this summer, and at both she has managed to be led by the worst counselors.

They don't let her get water when she's thirsty. They make sarcastic comments. They make threats, like saying if the group doesn't quiet down, they will not be allowed free swim, "and your parents won't be able to do anything about it!"

These comments are not the worst thing in the world. But I am paying lots of money for these camps, and I expect a high-quality teenage counselor. I expect them to be outgoing, gentle, funny and a positive role model (yes, I expect a lot!).

At both camps, I have contacted higher-ups to complain. Now I feel guilty. Should I let Rachel learn about the real world without my intervention? Or is it right to tattle to the bosses?

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I don't mind referring readers to my own story in this case because it's so in line with what this blog is about...

If you have a child in a Broward kindergarten, or will be having one enter school in the next couple of years, you'll probably want to read this article about water-safety lessons being offered by the school system, and watch the video of children taking lessons.

Broward County has various information on water-safety efforts that are useful for parents.

Palm Beach County also is developing a water-safety program that involves handing out free swim-lesson vouchers. The effort is called the Drowning Prevention Coalition.

Both initiatives are efforts to reduce the number of child drownings in South Florida.

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In case you missed it, the Florida Legislature mandated 30 minutes a day of PE in elementary schools, effective this fall.

Now, I've always remarked that physical education is one of the most under-supported activities in school. (When was the last time you've heard it even mentioned, let alone addressed by a parent group, for example?) But it strikes me as just another classic case of piling on, making schools responsible for addressing something (childhood obesity) that should be taken care of mostly by families.

The elementary school day is only six hours long, including time for lunch, here in South Florida so by adding another element to the curriculum, something's gotta give.

The Fort Myers newspaper wrote about the issue. http://www.news-press.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070505/NEWS0104/705050464/1075

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At 4 feet 3 inches, my 10-year-old daughter, Rachel, is about the same height as her eight-year-old sister, Ellie. Strangers often ask if they're twins.

My husband and I are not tall people, so we don't have high expectations for our kids' heights. But at a routine doctor's check-up last week, the pediatrician said we should take Rachel for a hand X-ray to see if her bone growth is on track.

The doctor said it's not so much her short stature as her weight, which according to the growth chart, has been going down proportionally over the past few years. This was a surprise to me because she looks physically healthy: not overweight, not underweight, just right.

The whole conversation with the doctor was pretty confusing and couldn't be pursued in detail because Rachel was starting to get nervous. She now thinks she has to start eating more, but it seems way more complicated than that. Have any of you gone for an X-ray like this before?

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Yesterday, the day after our family's Passover Seder, my daughter Ellie, who is 8, asked me why God "killed all the Egyptian boys."

She was referring to the 10th of the 10 plagues listed in the Book of Exodus, where God kills the first-born sons of all the Egyptians because Pharaoh refuses to free the Jews from slavery.

These stories are dramatic and thought-provoking, and I thought she asked a great question. But I didn't know how to answer it. I said we can't always understand the ways of God. I said we don't know if it's a true story, but we tell it to show how God protects us.

She looked a little confused, but so was I. Do I believe these stories really happened? What do I believe about the ways of God? I may need to confront these questions myself before I can answer them for my kids.

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I heard a primal scream and recognized my daughter Ellie's voice. I ran over to the computer to see what had happened. Someone had stolen the furniture from her Webkinz house!

Are your kids as into Webkinz and Club Penguin as mine are? These sites are sort of like Myspace for the elementary school set. They can meet friends and make friends and play with them on line, with games such as arcades, bowling and ice skating. They can also put together houses with furniture for the animals they play with, getting money from "jobs" they do online.

Ellie had given her password to someone at school, although she never quite admitted this. This boy was able to remove all her furniture, worth thousands of Webkinz dollars, and give it away to other friends in the club. It was quite stunning to see how deeply invested she was in this game. I hope she learned an early lesson about not giving away any online information about herself.

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