In Boyz N the Hood, Laurence Fishburne plays a father trying to keep his son on a path of integrity even though they are surrounded by the violent subculture of South Central Los Angeles. In that fictional tale, despite their underprivileged surroundings, Fishburne was able to keep his son out of trouble by providing a strong and positive example, particularly at a critical moment in the young man's life.

Fishburne's daughter, Montana, was born in 1991, the same year that movie was released. And 19 years later, Fishburne would have to say to his daughter, "You embarrassed me." Because in the real world, he was not able to keep his daughter from making quite possibly the most foolish decision of her life, despite her privileged surroundings: Montana Fishburne has decided to become a porn star.

We're not talking about the pseudo-accidental "I made a sex tape but I had no idea it would be released" path traveled before by Pamela Anderson, the path that brought utterly unwarranted fame to the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. We're talking about Montana Fishburne, 19, getting a contract with the adult film purveyors at Vivid Entertainment to make a bona fide porn video.

And she used her real name, which is supposedly the part that her father found embarrassing. Apparently no one uses their real name in porn (psst: half of them don't use their real body parts either, but that's another issue).

I suspect that Laurence Fishburne's embarrassment has less to do with the fact that his daughter abandoned wisdom by using her real name and more to do with the thought that she abandoned wisdom by pursuing her career choice.

Yes, she's 19. "Legal," according to the law -- side note: does it seem a bit silly, in this context, that she can't have a beer on the set?

"I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became, and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape," Montana said in a statement through Vivid Entertainment, which is distributing the DVD. "I'm hoping the same magic will work for me."

I'm sorry, what? Magic? The 2006 movie "Akeelah and the Bee" was dedicated to you! Your dad is an Oscar nominee, a box office draw who headlines one of the most popular dramatic series on television. Surely he has a connection or two in Tinseltown. And you need an extra edge to become famous?

Cry me a river, kid. You already had one leg up in the entertainment world.

Orlando Sentinel columnist Darryl E. Owens put it better than I could when he asked this disturbing question in a recent column: "If Kardashian, Paris Hilton and others of dubious talent can influence someone who presumably already holds a golden ticket, what of the millions whose daddies aren't Hollywood A-listers?"

Shudder.

Find Sun Sentinel writer Rafael Olmeda on Facebook and Twitter.

It’s OK to “fight” for your identity – by developing a positive self-image.

That’s the message former WCW female wrestler, Ann-Marie Rae, will convey to a group of youth at a free event Wednesday July 28.

Known as “Midnight,” in the ring, the local entrepreneur and motivational speaker will share her philosophy with children and their parents at 7 p.m., at the Christ Community Church at 901 E. McNab Road in Pompano Beach.

Her presentation, geared primarily toward children entering middle school and older, will also feature some clips of her wrestling days.

Choosing sports as a way of being focused and active and working with local youth has long been a part of what defines Rae – before she became a professional wrestler, she worked at the North Lauderdale Boys & Girls Club and for Lauderhill Parks & Recreation.

Rae’s outline for children to build self-confidence: identify your strength and find a way to develop it. Envision your future. Forgive. Share your skills

It seems like sound advice– create an environment where one can grow to be well-rounded and confident. Sharing makes one’s world bigger. Forgiving allows us to move forward. And keeping an eye on what one wants to be with he or she grows up creates focus.

And it all takes a little of something Rae knows about – strength – of the mind kind.

For more information about her presentation call 954-943-3866.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com/mindingyourbiz or join her on Facebook

We come across their stories on talk shows all the time.
Men who thought they were the biological father of a child only to learn years later that they were duped.
But with technology these days, men and expecting moms are confirming doubts even before the child is born.
Prenatal Paternity tests are becoming more common, it seems. These services are widely advertised online.
An OB-GYN can get a DNA sample from the unborn child either by amniocentesis or some other tests.
That can be matched against the potential father’s DNA.
It's a sticky issue. Expecting moms should know that there are risks associated with an amnio. Getting a sample from a potential father can be difficult in some cases.
But for some men and women getting this kind of crucial information confirmed early can save a lot of people further heartache years later.

Would you let your child have- or go -to a sleep-over slumber party?

At what age do you consider your child too young or too old for sleep-overs?

What if your 15 year old child was invited to a co-ed sleepover? Yep, I mean the kind where boys and girls will sleep in the same house – would you let yours go?

A very unscientific survey I conducted at work resulted in a nearly 50/50 split of pros and cons; from a resounding “absolutely not,” to “it depends on who would be going,” and “I did let my son.”

On one hand, why would a group of just girls be more trustworthy than a bunch of just boys at a sleep-over? And if parents overseeing the group of snoozers are the issue – wouldn’t those concerns and trust in that parent (s) to handle any situation: to be there, be alert and be involved be the same regardless of the mix?

And on the other hand, for as long as time remembered, parents have been setting boundaries – so, it’s OK for parents to say “No,” as well.

When it comes to our kids, everything has risks--from curfews, to safety on the road and in the home; to whom your kid hangs out with; to where they spend their time.

There is one thing I do know – regardless if the kids are hanging at the mall, going to a party, the beach, or a sleep-over-- you have to have the conversation -with your child, with his or her friends and with the parents. Rules have to be clearly conveyed. Frankly, I’d be about as nervous, maybe more, with my kid at a beach party.

At this point, I am not dead set against the idea of a co-ed sleep-over – I know the kids that will be there. Really, I see more positives than negatives – but I’m still in the discovery phase.

The girls will sleep upstairs at an upcoming sleep-over to which my son was invited. The boys will sleep downstairs. The mom of the invitee will be there. I’ll be calling her soon so we can talk about it.

I’m still wondering too – how is she going to get comfortable sleeping on those steps!

With internet dating the thing these days, I couldn’t help but notice a strange pattern. So many single moms and dads post pictures of their kids under their profile. Go to match.com and you can’t help but wonder why there are so many toddlers on there.

It’s a bizarre trend if you ask me. While I know some single parents may want their prospective internet mates to know it’s a package deal, why is it necessary to have your child’s picture right beside yours?

Your child isn’t looking for someone to kill time with, you are. Plus, in some cases when there are about a dozen pics of the child and only one or two of the mom or dad, I can’t help but wonder if they're using these adorable kids as bait.

I think parents should exercise more caution online in this day and age. If you really can’t wait to show off that cute little girl or boy to your prospective partner, wait until the first or second date and bring a couple of photos.

Right about now, “Sexy in Miami” is looking for love-- there’s no reason to bring little “Soggy in diapers,’’ along for the ride.

Some uptight parents at Morikami Park Elementary School west of Delray Beach want these sculptures removed before school starts on Aug. 18.

The set is in a shopping center near the school, and parents say the nudity is upsetting their children.

I get my hair cut in this shopping center, Addison Plaza, and never even noticed the statues before the controversy emerged. The family of three is called "Journey to the New," by Boca Raton sculptor Itzik Asher, and represents the voyage of Russian and Ethiopian Jews to Israel.

Our kids today learn almost nothing about art, never mind nudity in art. Their only exposure to nudity is the semi-porn they see on TV and in videos. So if you pass this sculpture with your kids, I say get out of the car and talk to them about the beautiful ways artists can interpret the human body.

Women who have given birth looo-oo-ove to talk about it. They love to talk about all the gory details, they love to play "top that." Over drinks, on the soccer sidelines, at PTA events eventually and inevitably, there's a chorus of "when my water broke during the board meeting.....I pushed for 48 straight hours....and then my idiot husband....and the baby's head was as big as....."

OK, ok, since you asked. My favorite part was when I heaved myself over the hospital admissions desk and the idiot nurse, in her whiny stupid voice asks, "Are you in labor?" and I say, "No sh-- Sherlock." That was fun! Or some hours later when I screamed, "GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL!!!" And the nurse screams back, "IT'S TOO LATE!!!" That wasn't as much fun.

But my stories are NOTHING compared to what you'll see on TLC network's new series: I Didn't Know I was Pregnant. This series promises to reveal "the astonishing stories of women who conceive and carry their babies all the way to labor and delivery, while never even knowing they were pregnant."

I'm still sitting here slack-jawed. There are enough women to make a SERIES out of this phenomenon?? Are you kidding me? It's been several years and the painful memories do fade, but lemme tell ya, I can still conjure up those backaches and swollen ankles and, well, I'll spare the details here. I can't imagine NOT KNOWING!

Tonight's debut episode at 9 p.m. sounds intriguing: "Nicci, a 31-year old mother of three goes into labor and gives birth at home with some surprising help from her 10-year-old son - and she didn't even know she was pregnant!" This is a woman with experience in these matters!

So you know where I'll be tonight at 9 p.m....pass the popcorn and the Chardonnay.

PHOTO: Photos.com

What do you say, what do you do, if your child says he or she wants to change their gender?

If it takes a famous person like Chastity Bono to openly go through the process to create dialog, that's great. But not everyone is so lucky to have a built in fan-base, financial reserves, good connections. And not everyone is an independent adult.

Your questioning child still depends on you.

It's a complicated issue for those on the outside looking in.

But "complicated" doesn't even come close to describing the process for the individual going through it. How does he or she even begin to articulate it to others?

Think about this: a female wants to transition to male (F2M). Would that person want to be with females (straight) or other males (gay)? Conversely, would a male, transitioning to female (M2F) want to be with males (straight) or other females (lesbian)?

Is it even that simple? I think not.

Several articles and blogs have discussed one family where the parents are letting their 8-year-old son openly live life as a girl.
Here is one report.

For more insight, read this account of a woman whose son came to her and said "Mom, I need to be a girl."

Lots of organized information is available.

In this post Transproud helps parent navigate the reality that their child just announced they have a gender conflict.

The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network is a voice within the school community to ensure a safe environment to GLBT youth and create open discussion.

Just before the end of the school year, every year, my kids' schools decide to squeeze in sex education.

The letter comes home giving us the option of opting out. I never opt out, and always make sure to ask the kids what they learned.

It's funny to hear them recount the lessons. My sixth grader said her science teacher introduced the topic this way: "Let's get two words out of the way. PENIS. And VAGINA."

My fourth grader remembered only that her teacher discussed menstrual cramps. At least that's what she told me.

I love the way the schools leave these controversial lessons for the last few days of the year, post-FCAT, minimizing the ability of parents to complain. This way, by the time parents call in to talk about the lessons or ask questions, the school year is over and no one has the energy or interest to engage in discussion.

I am obsessed with the Palin family, so I'll be sure to read the upcoming story in GQ magazine about Levi Johnston, father of Bristol Palin's baby.

According to New York magazine, which got an advance copy, Levi is an inscrutable type who likes to hunt and fish and "may or may not" be looking for a job. He and Bristol have been exchanging "flirty" text messages and are in regular contact.

Since I posted yesterday about Bristol's silly abstinence campaign, I had to check out what Levi's latest statements are re abstaining from sex, now that he has a five-month-old boy. He told the Early Show: "I don't just think telling young kids, you can't have sex, it's not going to work. It's not realistic."

Love the contrary messages from the confused teen parents! Keep it up, kids, this is fun!

Is there a parent out there who believes Bristol Palin is a role model?

Somehow, the 18-year-old daughter of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has gotten a job promoting abstinence through the Candie's Foundation, which seeks to prevent teen pregnancies. Bristol has a 5-month-old boy now.

She had previously told Fox News that abstinence wasn't realistic. Now she says: "It's a hard choice, but it's the safest choice and it's the best choice."

What was the Candie's Foundation thinking? I can't imagine any parent saying, "Be like Bristol Palin." Looks like more of a publicity move for this foundation than rational thinking on who would be a good teen role model.

Will people do just about anything to get on TV?

I'm thinking of the Palm Beach County moms who appeared on "Oprah" recently to talk about how they handled their 14-year-olds' love affair.

Lisa LaPlume, mother of Pierce, and Beth Greene, mother of Courtney, went on the show with the kids after LaPlume responded to a query on Oprah's Web site: "Parents -- need help talking to your kids about sex?" The show took up the question, with the help of sex therapist Dr. Laura Berman, of whether the teens were ready to get into bed.

LaPlume admitted she had bought condoms for them, which apparently drew lots of criticism from the audience and the Web. Ultimately, the teens did not have sex and are now "friends."

Can you imagine airing this personal family drama on TV? Shows me that people will gladly humiliate themselves for their 15 minutes of fame.

This hurts.

Read this today in MassLive.com:

SPRINGFIELD - Hundreds of people filled the Alden Baptist Church Monday for the funeral of Carl J. Walker-Hoover, the 11-year old boy who hung himself last week after complaining of bullying by classmates at the New Leadership Charter School.

"Our prayers are that this crisis will make Springfield a better community," said the Rev. Hugh A. Bair, who delivered the eulogy that capped the 2.5-hour service.

"The name calling must stop; the bullying must stop," he said, resulting in applause from the overflow crowd.
...
His mother said he suffered taunts and threats from other students who made fun of him, insulted the way he dressed and called him gay since he began attending the school in September, Walker said. Read the rest here.

I had a very difficult time reading this article because it’s so senseless and painful, to know people can be so unenlightened and cruel.

I am sorrowful for the mother, for young Carl. I'm sad for all of us. In the death of this 11-year-old boy, a victim of harassment and bullying, who hanged himself, we're all victims, regardless of our sexual orientation.

There are untold numbers of victims in this case: Those who fear coming out about their sexuality; those who fear helping; those who have LGBT friends and family members. Those who just want to ask questions.

This month, a local church is hosting a workshop that many people can benefit from.

Riviera Presbyterian Church is hosting “Gender Identity and Our Faith Community,” a public workshop from 1p.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday, April 26.

This is Riviera's promotion about the event:

Do you know what 'gender identity' means to you? Have you ever wondered what struggles transgender people face? Do you have questions about where our ideas of 'appropriate' gender expression stem? Do you feel called as a person of faith to stand with those who are marginalized, but are not sure how to advocate politically from a religious voice? If you answer yes to any of these questions than we have a FREE workshop for you!

Please join Riviera Presbyterian Church on Sunday, April 26th from 1 pm to 4 pm for a moving discussion on 'Gender Identity and Our Faith Communities' sponsored by the Religion and Faith Program at the Human Rights Campaign. We will be joined by HRC staff member and transgender educator, Allyson Robinson, who will lead us from acceptance to advocacy on issues of gender identity and LGBT equality. This workshop will challenge us, liberate us, and help us grow as a community committed to justice for everyone.

Address: Riviera Presbyterian Church, 5275 Sunset Drive, Miami. The free workshop is open to the public. RSVP: Phone: 305-666-8586. E-mail: rivierachurch@bellsouth.net. Website.

There are resources all over the country as well as locally.
Volunteers and experts are dedicated to getting the word out about nonviolence, LGBT issues, mentoring and more.

Pridelines Youth Services

YES Institute

Parents, Family and Friends of Gays and Lesbians

Compass Community Center, Palm Beach.

Gay, Lesbian Community Center, Fort Lauderdale.

There are many opportunities to embrace, to learn, to understand issue that surround sexuality and gender orientation.

People of all ages can learn a thing or two –and they should. It’s OK to reach beyond what you know, beyond your comfort zone.

Sometimes that might mean hearing what you don’t want to hear. It might be being with folk that aren’t like you.

But nothing is quite like making yours and your child’s world bigger – through understanding and knowledge.

Remember this one when your kids tell you their college majors: There's a bar graph making the rounds on the Internet that claims to be an analysis of virginity rates according to major among students at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.

I'm sure the parents who sent their kids there are so proud, especially of their studio art majors, for whom the virginity rate is, I kid you not, 0. Couldn't find a virgin in the bunch. Of course, that's probably the catch: "the bunch," that is, the sample size, is probably too small for this study to have any meaningful statistical value.

By the way, if that last sentence made any sense to you, you might still be a virgin: math majors tied for the highest virginity rates: 83 percent have maintained their sexual purity, according to...

According to whom? There's no study attached to this chart that's floating around. Is it a hoax? One version purports to be from something called Counterpoint Magazine, but my efforts to reach Counterpoint have not been successful (they don't seem to have an updated Web site, and I chased down an e-mail address, only to have my inquiry bounced back as undeliverable. Go figure).

By the way, people who use words like "purports" apparently are as likely to spent the night alone as with a partner: English majors had a 50% virginity rate. So did French majors. Computer science majors were at 40%.

The likeliest virgins: math, biochemistry and political science majors. The likeliest non-virgins: studio art, anthropology and neuroscience majors.

You see, that tells me right there that something's wrong. Biochemistry majors are highly likely to be virgins, but neuroscience majors are highly likely to be sexually active? Huh? All that time, they must be busy manipulating pheromones.

I'll update if I hear back from the actual creators of this chart (pesky little things like methodology and sample size still matter to some of us). [In the meantime, if you're on our main page, click "continue reading" for the chart].

Continue reading "Virginity rates poorly among some college majors" »

All this talk about "sexting" has me concerned.

A recent article on SunSentinel.com tells the stories of several Central Florida teens who have been labeled sex offenders because they shared naked pictures of their teenage ex-girlfriends over their cell phones.

Where to begin?

While I have been concerned about my teenage stepdaughters and their fondness for various gizmos (the iPod, the cell phone, the digital camera, the cell phone with the digital camera), it hasn't occurred to me that they might take pictures that might come back to haunt them.

Yes, I am concerned about the difference between stupid kids sending inappropriate text messages and predatory criminals exploiting children to satisfy their lusts. They are, in my mind, separate issues. The predatory criminals are a law enforcement issue. To a greater extent, the kids being stupid kids - well, that's a parenting issue.

I honestly don't think our kids recognize the permanence of these digital photos. Back in the day (you remember back in the day, right?) we had film, and we had to take the film out to be developed, and you knew a stranger's eyes would see each and every image you shot. Casual, personal nudie shots, while not unheard of, were far from normal. At least, the potential for embarrassment was very real.

Not anymore. Now these images can be deleted with the touch of a button. The problem, of course, is that they can be copied just as easily. And forwarded. To e-mail boxes. And cell phones. And next thing you know, that photo you took just for your boyfriend is making the rounds at your school. Or worse. Ask Vanessa Hudgens. The High School Musical star was mortified in 2007 when her nude pictures surfaced on the Internet. And she's not one of the "bad girls" of Hollywood. She's the one our teens are watching, and the one whose error in judgment we need to explain.

So what can we tell our kids about the dangers of "sexting" (not from a criminal law point of view, but from a healthy childhood point of view)? Read on for some tips from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy.

Continue reading "What can we do about "sexting" teens?" »

I told my kids NBC's "Momma's Boys" was silly and prurient, but then I got hooked.

I enjoyed watching the interaction of the twenty-something men with their mothers, whom they clearly adored but were trying to break away from.

The premise: The three men get to choose among 32 women, similar to other dating shows. But their mothers also get a say, and they all had strong opinions, including Lorraine Nichols of Sunrise, whose son, Michael Sarysz of Plantation, a firefighter/paramedic pictured here, went against her wishes to choose Amanda, a medical student.

What irritated me initially were the obvious nose jobs and breast enhancements of most of the young women, some of whom had appeared in Playboy and Penthouse and were seeking further media attention. But ultimately the mother-son relationships, so deep and complicated, won me over.

Although the series is over, you can still watch it here. Here's looking at Season Two!