I know celebrities in general get a lot of attention. But I’ve noticed these days when a celebrity mom declares she’s a single mom she’s elevated to another level of stardom.

Kate Gosselin from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" seem to be on every single-mom blog these days. There are blogs out there strictly dedicated to the celebrity single mom and their trials and tribulations.

I’m sorry, but while I know being a single mom is not easy for anyone, I don’t see why celebrity single moms should be given any special accolades. Most of these celebrities have a team of support staff helping them raise their kids.

They don’t have to worry at 5:30 when they’re asked to work late who will pick up their child from aftercare at school. They don’t have to stress about whether there’s enough in their budget to keep their children at a good daycare.

When I think of inspirational single moms, I think of a young mom I met recently, who works the early morning shift at my local supermarket. She has to get her nine-year-old son and her two-year-old daughter up everyday by 5 a.m. and shuttle one to preschool and the other to her sister's house before traveling almost an hour to work.

I think of all my single moms, who despite the work/life challenges manage to put in a full day at work, volunteer at their child’s school when they can and make a decent dinner at night, with no dad or partner to help.

I think of my single moms doing it day in and day out, without a t.v. crew or gang of paparazzi capturing their every step.

While I’m happy that celeb single moms are helping to shed the stigma sometimes associated with being a single mom, I’m not looking their way for inspiration.

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As single moms, sometimes you can’t help but wonder if the grass is greener on the other side.

There are times after a hard day at work when you’re exhausted and can’t help but think about what it would be like to have a partner to work on homework with your son or daughter while you cook dinner.

But imagine what life is like when you have a partner and you still have to imagine what it would be like to have help with your child.

On the blog singlemommyhood.com a number of moms were recently expressing how frustrating it is when they have to assume all the parental duties and their husbands don’t pitch in to help.

Some women said their husbands were workaholics who never made enough time for the kids. Others said it wasn’t until their marriages ended that their spouses stepped up to the parental plate.

The blog prompted me to think of some of my friends who are in similar situations. Moms and dads with to-do lists longer than there are hours in the day, because the other parent isn’t pitching in.

The worst part is that married single parents don't get the same support true single parents get because most people assume their spouse is helping with the kids.

I wonder how many parents are dealing with this? I think if both parents are in good health mentally and physically, a married parent shouldn’t have to feel like they’re raising their kids on their own.

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Those who co-parent know the challenges. When your child spends one week with you and one week with your ex, it’s often hard to keep track of everything-- the homework, the school uniforms, the ballet shoes.

I hear these days more families are trying a concept called “nesting.’’ When you nest, it’s mom or dad who leaves the house and the kids stay put.

Some ex-partners get along so well that mom goes over to dad’s place for the week and vice versa. These are parents who don't live with partners, of course.

My daughter's dad lives out of town so it's geographically impossible for us to try this.

But I'd like to hear more about co-parenting arrangements that work. I came across the nesting concept in the book Shared Parenting: Raising Your Children Cooperatively After Separation.

I can see how it would benefit the kids. They don't have to be uprooted from their friends on a weekend and can keep better track of their things. But are most parents willing to make the sacrifice?

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It’s tough out there for job hunters. It’s getting even harder for those looking for nanny work.

I’ve noticed more and more job postings are requiring nannies to have a college degree. Some nanny agencies won’t look at you unless you have a Bachelor’s degree under your belt.

Just yesterday I came across a mom looking for a nanny for her fraternal twins. Under her list of skills--“college degree preferred.’’

I think these parents and agencies are totally off base.

While earning a college degree is a major accomplishment it doesn’t mean you know squat about parenting or caring for kids.

As a working single mom, I relied heavily on nannies and babysitters when my daughter was much younger.

The nanny my daughter loved the most was a high school dropout with three grown kids. She cared for my daughter for two straight years until it was time for her to start pre-school.

She was loving, playful and creative. But she was also stern, disciplined, and organized. She knew my daughter so well she called my attention to things her pediatrician missed.

When I panicked about certain behavior, she was able to tell me from her own parenting experience, not to worry, it was a phase. And she was flexible, which was a big plus in my line of work.

I’m grateful for having found her. She’s no longer our nanny, she’s a family friend. To my daughter she will always be “Tia."

Had I narrowed my nanny pool to college graduates, we would have never met and our family would have missed out.

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Although I love social networking sites and give them much credit for reuniting me with some 200 friends of the past, I don’t have any pictures of my daughter on Facebook.

Call it the paranoid mommy in me, but I worry about the security on some of these sites. I don't want my six-year-old's picture posted on some random page that I can't control.

I know it's common to share photos via Facebook and other sites these days. But I think it's good social networking practice to get clearance from a parent before you post another child's photo.

This way everyone is on the same page. What side of the fence are you on when it comes to uploading children’s pictures on Facebook?

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The sign on the door of the salon hit me like a ton of bricks. "NO KIDS.’’

I didn’t have my daughter with me, but I was still immediately put off.

While I know kids can be loud and sometimes put up a fuss in salons, it’s downright demeaning for business owners to ban them, formally or informally. It’s a salon not a strip club.

As a single parent, you don’t necessarily want to hire a baby-sitter every time you need to get your hair done. I take my daughter with me most places—get togethers, the theater, late-night runs to Starbucks.

I loved that in France you’d see couples dining late at night with their toddlers.

I came across an interesting article the other day that said some moms in Africa couldn’t stand to put their babies in a stroller because the babies felt too far from their bodies.

Yet, here, people expect you to pawn your kids off on baby-sitters and other folks so they can have their adult-only wedding, adult-only birthday party, adult-only salon.

Give me a break!

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Your child doesn’t listen to you. You make excuses for your child’s behavior. You do your child’s chores. You feel like a nag.

You repeatedly threaten, warn and count to three. You explai,n on and on, everything you ask of your child. Much of the time, parenting feels like driving an out-of-control race car.

According to psychologist and author Richard Bromfield, author of “How to unspoil your child fast,’’ these are just some of the signs that you are a parent who spoils your child.

Bromfield has an extended list of symptoms. I’m only mentioning a few.
For a working single parent, it can be a struggle at times to stay on your children about the rules. There are times when I feel like a true nag.

"Get out of the pool!"

"Pick up your crayons!"

"Brush your teeth!"

And it goes on. It can wear you down if you’re not strong.

But Bromfield offers some suggestions to unspoiling and goes into quite a bit of detail.
Grab your child’s attention, stand firm on your rules and follow through, he suggests.

After all, he asks, who made the child the head of the household? Some parents are giving in to their children way too much.

According to Bromfield, and I quote, “You’re an educated adult who’s had sex, backed into a tree and lost money on lottery tickets. She hasn’t even finished kindergarten. What does she know?’’

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There is a debate stirring among some of my single mom friends about who should pick up the tab for baby-sitting.

While no one expects a first date to pitch in for someone to watch your child, when you’ve been dating someone consistently for a few months, I think the cost of baby-sitting should come up in conversation at some point.

Often, parents don’t want to expose their children to the person they’re dating until the relationship is serious, which makes sense. But what happens when baby-sitting fees start to cut into your budget?

A friend of mine recently shelled out $200 to a baby sitter who watched her daughter while she was out with someone she’s been seeing regularly. That’s two week’s worth of groceries in my house.

For those with family and good friends to lean on, this isn’t an issue. But for single parents who have to pay a baby sitter, dating can get pretty expensive.

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I have a confession. Before I became a mom, I actually enjoyed spending time alone.

A new J. California Cooper book and a comfortable pillow were all I needed to get me through a Sunday afternoon.

That kind of time is rare these days. Most of the weekend is spent doing kids’ stuff. But I’ve found a few inexpensive ways to get “me time” and reconnect with the loner in me.

Visit to Ikea. The Swedish furniture store has free baby-sitting for shoppers. There’s one in Davie. You don’t have to buy anything, and my daughter looks forward to going to their play area. They limit you to about 45 minutes, which can fly by, but it’s nice to have uninterrupted time to look at fabrics and scope out designing ideas.

The gym. My gym charges an extra $5 a month for its kids’ club and it is money well-spent. You get to work out alone, with no distractions while your kids play with others.

The park. Instead of cuddling up on my battered green couch like I used to, I take my magazines and books to the park and read while she plays.

Do you know of any other low-budget ways to get time alone? Do share.....

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A few weekends ago my 6-year-old met her dad’s girlfriend, for the first time.

When she returned home she had a string of questions. She wanted to know when daddy and I would get back together, why he had a girlfriend, and why wasn’t I mad?

I explained to her that daddy and I love her very much and told her that we should be happy that daddy found someone he cares for. I’m also in a committed relationship, and I told her I wanted daddy to find that same joy.

I’m fortunate that my daughter has a really great dad. We both co-parent, with very little drama.
But I realized that in addition to knowing my feelings, she needed reaffirmation that her space in her dad’s life wasn’t being threatened.

I grew up in a two parent household, with my mom and dad. I didn’t have to wrestle with these questions at six. These days, in a world where a lot of single parents have a relationship status that’s “complicated,’’ how do you break it down to kids in simple terms?

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If you co-parent you know the phone is like a lifeline.

My daughter’s dad lives out of state and he calls her almost every evening to chat. There are some evenings when she runs to the phone and there are those other nights, when she is simply not up for talking.

I know it’s not easy having your child treat you like a bill collector. But I think some parents go about getting their child to open up on the phone all wrong. Some tips I picked up while observing others:

1. Believe it or not, some children don’t want to talk about themselves all the time. They want to know what happened in your day. Share with them something funny that happened on the job, or a joke you heard.
2. Keep the conversation short sometimes. It shouldn’t seem like a chore for your child. Try to gauge if your child is losing interest.
3. I often ask my six year old two questions that get her on a roll. What was the best part of your day? What was the worst part of your day? Yes, more often than not, more time is spent on the worst part, but I’m guessing that’s human nature.
4. Try to stick to a scheduled time when you’re expected to call, every night. Some of my friends complain that they can’t get to speak to their kids when they call their child’s mother or father, but they call at all random hours. Custodial parents often have hectic schedules.
5. Come up with a funny sign off.
If you have some tips to keeping a conversation going, do share....

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Is your best friend a single mom? Mother’s Day is a great time to let a hardworking single mom know you appreciate her, and you don’t have to run to the mall to do it.

My top 7 gifts for a single mother:

1. A weekend of baby-sitting. Single moms often have very little “Me” time. You can get creative and make your own baby-sitting coupon and stick it in a card.

2. Offer to take some pictures of your friend with her little one, and create a photo collage. I have so many pictures of my daughter, but so few of us together. It’s nice to have someone capture some of those everyday moments.

3. A manicure and pedicure gift certificate. (But again, offer to baby-sit so she doesn’t have to drag the kids to the salon)

4. Get a calendar and fill it with free summer activities for kids happening in the area. Every time that mom is short of ideas she can reach for the calendar.

5. A CD or downloads of inspirational songs that celebrate motherhood. (I like Fantasia’s “Baby Mama”)

6. Offer to help her organize. Homework, bills, junk mail. She might appreciate having someone she trusts help her purge.

7. Cook a few family size meals and zap them in her freezer.

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