What we adults call "explaining," our children call "lecturing." Please remember this as the fall youth sports season kicks in.

Especially on that car ride home.

No matter how much you want to help, starting a conversation about the just-ended game right afterward usually won't turn out well. Kids want our approval, and even if we preface criticism with three positives, they'll roll their eyes when you mention they loafed down the first-base line or muffed a pass for an easy basket.

Besides, they already know that stuff themselves.

So, when's the right time?

Show up at practice, and if the coach needs a hand, helps everyone else's kid. Then yours.

Watch games together, and point out fundamentals the pros are using that your child can work on.

Record your child's game with one of those hand-held cameras and play it back a day or two later, perhaps with a teammate over -- and snacks.

And if you get a minute during the game, put the lens on the coaches and slip them a copy, so they can check if they've leaped beyond "coaching" and into "yelling."

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It's indoors, it's a sport that you really don't have to run a lot in, and it's something you probably want to do yourself: Dania Jai-Alai is offering free lessons for kids this weekend and next.

And besides that, how often can a guy link from a parenting blog to a gambling blog? Hey, life is short...

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Hydration and sunblock. If you are a kid who plays sports in South Florida, you cannot avoid being lectured -- by coaches and moms and random sideliners -- about drinking plenty of water and spraying it on thick.

Alec came home from basketball camp at the University of Florida with this little tidbit: If your urine is like lemonade, you're hydrated. If it's like apple juice, you are dehydrated. Call the medics!

We are a protective generation of parents. Notice I didn't say OVER-protective. Avoiding heat stroke is a good thing. (Bad mommy confession: I once sent Erika to soccer camp without water, or lunch.)

But I tend to agree with Atlantic High coach Andre Thaddies who said, “The heat isn’t new here in South Florida. The kids are outside and living in South Florida. Their bodies adapt." By the time an athlete is in high school, he or she has been drilled on the subject for 10 years or more.

It starts at the earliest ages with the post-game snacks and drinks (don't get me started on the tyranny of that ritual!) By the time they've played a few years (soccer, football, baseball, what-have-you), these little button-pushers learn how to tap into the fear of prostration (usually it's Mommy's fear), especially if they are tired and/or having a bad game and/or losing. "Coach, I'm dehydrated, I need to sit." To which a coach is inevitably muttering that the kid is "out of shape." Funny, kids rarely want to sit when the score is in their favor or they are on a hot streak.

Erika has been practicing soccer at 8 a.m. Saturdays this summer. Her little round face is beet red and her clothes are soaked by the time practice is done at 9:30. She's wiped out. But each week she gets stronger. She's adapting.

Don't get me wrong: Running laps at 3 p.m. in 98 degree heat is no fun and probably best avoided. ESPECIALLY for those kids who are aren't in shape or have other underlying health issues.

The best we can do as parents is supply our kids with knowledge. Give your little athletes that lemonade/apple juice test so they can learn to pay attention to their own bodies. And don't forget to send them to practice with a jug of water.

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It’s not just a summer thing.

However, any excuse to highlight the dangers of children around water is good enough.

Growing up – my parents had me and all of my siblings on swimming teams when we were very young.

I passed on my love of water – and my respect for it – making sure my children could each swim before they were five years old.

None of the above guarantees a child’s safety 100 percent.

In fact, a little bit of exposure and a few swimming lessons can create over-confidence.

Parents should never let their guard down with children, around pools, lakes, etc.

Look at some safety tips in this South Florida Parenting article: Keeping baby afloat.

And here is one of our picture galleries. A safety tip accompanies each photo.

And happy swimming, or sailing or water polo!

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"When a family's fortunes decline, the spending can be hard to justify."

We're pretty interested in this locally, and wondering if it's been happening in our area (Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade Counties). The question is, with all the talk and experience of a recession, are youth sports taking a hit? A decline in enrollment? Unusual strategies to keep the operation afloat? If you're in a league or run a league and want to weigh in on this, leave a comment or contact SunSentinel reporter Nick Sortal.

This ran today in the Chicago Tribune, our sister newspaper up north...

By John Keilman | Tribune reporter Chris Labeots' fledgling basketball career might well have been saved by an installment plan.

The Hoffman Estates 8th grader is built like a bouncer, but his game is more finesse than muscle. With high school ball in the hyper-competitive northwest suburbs less than a year away, he figured he needed a summer with a travel team to improve his skills.

But Labeots' dad, Jim, is without full-time work and couldn't manage the $875 fee. So team director Tony Reibel extended an offer he's been making a lot lately: He let the family pay in affordable chunks.

"Chris wouldn't be able to play without that," Jim Labeots said.

Sports are practically a birthright for kids in Chicago's suburbs, where playing fields, swimming pools and gymnasiums teem year-round with young athletes. But as the recession tightens its chokehold, parents are being forced to consider a bitter sacrifice.

From baseball to soccer to hockey, many organizations are reporting a significant drop in the number of participants as families slash their discretionary spending. Some parents have lost jobs; others worry they'll be next.

"People were scared before, but now they're really scared," said Stephie Arkus of the Glenview Stars Hockey Association, which was anticipating a small decline in registrations.

In response, youth teams are coming up with creative ways to keep costs down and help out the newly broke, hoping to keep children active even when their parents' finances crumble.

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Let me get this straight: parents are complaining about the amount of homework their children are assigned.

Apparently the Broward County School Board is expected to vote on homework guidelines that instruct instructors to: provide increased academic challenges in a more coordinated assignment of homework and projects. Oh – and none over holiday breaks and weekends. It will become an actual policy. We paid taxes for this discussion!

I think teachers have their [home]work cut out for them on this one. I see more teacher-planning and staff meetings ahead. I guess teachers will have to add some teacher planning days to the school calendar. The more the better - that would be one less day of homework assignments, per planning day!

Of course I think most students can handle the homework load they get.

Parents overbook their kids in after school programs like dance, sports, clubs, etc.

Sure, some kids, maybe many, many kids have the drive to do 1,483 things after school. How many of those things include chores – that’s homework too.

But, what happened to the reward system? How about telling your future ballerina or football star that school matters?

Kids need to communicate what’s on their plate and plan. We do it as parents in the big-people’s world, and they’ll be a part of that one day.

Not too long ago, it was proposed that students get paid to attend school and do their school work. Wow!

Now, we’re asking the teacher to be considerate of weekends and holidays. How much of that valuable time will the kid spend in front of a TV, text-messaging friends, e-mailing and playing video games? Please.

I’m wondering: while we’re asking teachers to be so considerate, think I could get a couple over to my house to wash a few windows?

[UPDATE: The Broward County School Board approved today new homework guidelines that urge teachers to assign academically challenging work while also being considerate about not assigning too much homework over religious holidays and weekends.

While the policy is careful not to assign time limits for homework, the district's guidelines suggest 10 minutes of work for each grade level. So a first grader would get an assignment that takes about 10 minutes to finish, while a high school junior's total homework load would take 110 minutes to complete.]

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It has always bothered me when I have to sign my kids' lives away so they can participate in a field trip, whether they're swimming, horseback riding, canoeing or bungee jumping.

I'm sure you've seen the fine print: "I waive the right to sue if my child is injured or dies," or a variation on that theme.

So I was thrilled last week to see that the Florida Supreme Court ruled that parents cannot waive liability if their children get injured while participating in one of these activities.

Just last weekend, I signed a waiver so my 14-year-old could go on a snorkeling trip in the Keys. This was after the court's ruling! Clearly things are not going to change soon, but at least I know the paperwork, which they make me sign if I want my kid to go, has become meaningless.

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I just wanted to put some thoughts up here from my perspective -- both as a sports coach myself and the father of a swimmer -- regarding the youth swim coach arrested on charges of possessing child pornography and saying he had had relationships with minors.

1. There's a fine line between talking with your child and spooking him or her, but I suggest starting a conversation with your child about all kinds of adults and situations. Are there times when your child is alone with an adult? If so, does the door stay open or is there a window? (As a coach, I never do one-on-ones in private spaces with an athlete. There's either another coach or another child, or we sit in the bleachers.) [Previously on transPARENT: Talking to children about sexual abuse]

2. If your child plays sports, band or other activities, make sure you don't take them to practice too early or leave them too late. This is actually more courtesy and respect for the coach than anything else, but in almost every case, there really shouldn't be a situation where an adult is left alone for a long time with a child. (Note: In the swim coach case, there has been no claim announced that he was involved with any of his students.)

3. Whenever you sign your child up for an activity, ask what kind of background checks your league runs. And if they don't run any, at least punch your coach's name in the Broward Clerk of Courts or the Palm Beach County Clerk of Courts web site.

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I'm working on a story about youth sports and injuries, centered on how to decide whether to a.) take your kid to the emergency room or b.) tell him or her to "suck it up."

Anyone have any tales to tell? Life experiences? If so, call me at 954-356-4725 or email me at nsortal@sun-sentinel.com.

Meanwhile, the Positive Coaching Alliance has a monthly debate, and I like this one:

Several weeks into the season, you are frustrated by your child's lack of playing time. The team is successful on the scoreboard, winning more often than losing, usually by comfortable margins. As far as you can tell, other parents and athletes on the team seem satisfied with the status quo, even ones who also are sitting on the bench. But you wonder if a coach has a responsibility to get players into games even when there are no external rules or requirements to do so.

Your child has not complained about not playing, but you sense diminished enthusiasm since the season's start.

Should you talk with your child about this? If so, what do you say?

Should you approach the coach about this? If so, how would you go about it?

Is your approach affected by whether players had to try out to make this team?

Fire away with your thoughts. I'll come back and re-comment on them in a couple of days.

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Any parent who's had a boy in tackle football knows what I'm talking about when I say that it's the next best thing to disciplinary boot camp.

They might not paddle in the schools anymore, but thank goodness football hasn't wimped out.

Kids who are treated like babies into adulthood will always be babies. I'm sure you work with some.

Not in football. In football, it's, 'No excuses, just do it.''

Creed's coaches are fond of telling his team that football is about "controlled violence,'' and "controlled aggression.''

Strength of body, and mind.

When a kid got yelled at for not paying attention and then glared at the coach, he was outta there. You will not disrespect a coach, he was told. Take your stuff and leave.

They teach physical toughness, too. When a kid was sitting on the field the other night after a tough two hour practice in the blazing sun, he was asked: Are you passing out? No, he wasn't.

OK, came the coach's response. Then get up on one knee! We don't sit down on the field!

One coach told my son's team that they're there to learn about life: That life is tough, you have to work really hard, and sometimes someone's going to put a foot up your rear. And you just have to learn to deal with it.

Touchdown!

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The world has changed. It used to be the dad on the neighborhood corner gathered the kids together, formed a baseball team and everyone knew everybody.

Now, you sign your kid up, get a call a month or two later, and meet some stranger who's your coach for the season.

And while 99.9 percent of them are good people -- volunteer dads working for free -- society has gotten so litigious and there are legitimate fears out there. So youth sports coaches, and other volunteers, even those at youth centers, for example, get their backgrounds checked and wear ID badges.

Read the points of view of administrators, coaches and others in this story, published Dec. 24.

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(Also posted on Trials and Errors.)

Finally sitting down to write after the long weekend. Our family, and fitness, highlight came before 8 a.m. Thursday, as the five of us raced with 1,300 of our closest friends in the Tamarac Turkey Trot 5K.

Our two girls in college, Diane and Michelle, were looking at finishing in about 30 minutes. Aaron, 11, just wanted "to run the first mile with my sisters, and beat Mom." Robyn was the good sport, walking most and trotting a little bit, wearing her Gator visor and headphones.

I usually take off and leave them all, finishing in 23, maybe 24 minutes. But a sore knee and back eradicated any hope of running for time. It was a day to waddle.

So, I ran with everyone in my family. I started walking with Robyn, caught Aaron during the first mile -- the girls had already taken off -- and then caught the girls for the end. Meanwhile, in the back of the pack, Robyn closed in to within a few yards of Aaron, but made the mistake of yelling to him, to get his attention. So he bolted for the finish line. Left her.

We stretched a few minutes afterward, went and looked at our results in our age groups (all of us were bottom 10 in fields of 70 or so), then came home for breakfast, a nap and Thanksgiving dinner, when our visitors just kind of looked at us askance when we told them what we did. College kids? Getting up at 6 a.m. to run on Thanksgiving?

You know, life is short. You don't get many days like this. But at least I can say I had one of them.

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(also posted on Trials and Errors)

If you're curious about fitness in general and physical fitness in schools in particular, you might want to attend meetings Wednesday and Thursday in Fort Lauderdale of the Governor's Council on Physical Fitness.

Gov. Crist created the organization earlier this year. The meeting details:

9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Wednesday and 8 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the Keiser University Broward Branch, 1500 NW 49th St., Fifth Floor Auditorium, Fort Lauderdale.

Public comments will be heard between 2:45 and 3:05 p.m. Wednesday and 11:30 a.m. and noon Thursday. You need to show up a half-hour early if you plan to speak.
Call 850-488-5394.

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If you've been flipping through the TV channels the past few days, you might have seen me talk with Comcast Newsmakers' Spero Canton about overall sports parent demeanor, or background checks of sports volunteers (I'll post about that part some other day).

I talked about how parents at games sometimes go crazy, partially because they confused education (youth sports) with entertainment (pro and college sports). They figure "Hey, I paid my money (registration fees), I should be able to yell whatever I want." Which obviously doesn't help their child or anyone else.

Meanwhile, my son had a swim meet this weekend. We got up at 6:15 a.m. on Saturday for a 7 a.m. warmup, in the dark. For parents, the day was from 7 a.m. to noon or so.

And I have it lucky. For a child to truly be successful at swimming, he or she goes twice a day (at 5 a.m. and 5 p.m.), which is why they make bumper stickers that say "Swim Taxi" for minivans.

So I got to thinking... which youth sports parent has it the worst? I think hockey is clearly No. 1, with the expense, odd hours for rink time and few rinks around. Maybe tackle football, with practices every night interrupting every dinner, is next. After that....?

I know it's worth it, and you're doing what's best for you child. That's not what this post is about. Just go ahead, let out your whines here. Fire away.

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If you think South Florida has cornered the market on nuts and sports parents, take heart: Our sister paper, Newsday, carries a report about a parent, upset about his son's playing time, who punched out a coach.

Brooke de Lench, who runs a web site called MomsTeam.com, writes an op-ed piece that brings us to the point: When there are kids on the bench, frustrations mount. My take is that the parent is usually more embarrassed than the kid, especially in this case, because Pop Warner football, like youth tackle football down here is open about being competitive.

Basically, I believe 99 percent of the parents are out there trying to do the right thing. The dangers pop up when they get too worried about their child being "successful," which they equate with winning. So they want to help their Johnny or Sarah get that extra goal, or make that extra basket...

And that's where it starts getting crazy.

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A new hybrid skateboard/snowboard is becoming increasingly popular with kids.

Seems harmless enough.

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Your child's fall sports season has likely started, which means you've likely sat through his or her games. Which means it's time to review behavior again.

Parents at games can drive me nuts. I love it when they shout "pass!" while the coach shouts "shoot!" And some parents think they're helping if they can get their kid a hit, a goal or a basket; I say the problem comes when parents look at youth sports as education, not entertainment. Pay your money and yell at the Dolphins if you want; at your kid's game, maybe it's better to bring a lollipop. By the time you take it out of your mouth to yell, the play is usually over.

With that in mind, here are five major points in the The National High School Athletic Coaches Association's parent code of conduct.

1. Be a positive role model through your own actions to make sure your child has the best athletic experience possible.

2. Be a team fan, not a "my kid'' fan.

3. Weigh what your children say; they will tend to slant the truth to their advantage.

4. Don't instruct your children before or after a game -- it might conflict with the coach's plans and strategies.

5. If you as a parent have a concern, take time to talk with coaches in an appropriate manner, including time and place.

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Twenty percent of our transPARENT team has children playing tackle football (see posts below), and overall, about 10,000 kids in South Florida are playing.

So you might want to read about how some coaches are getting better educated on how to assess injuries. The "Suck it up" era is pretty much over.

Also, some coaches explain why they work for free almost every weeknight and a good chunk of the day Saturday.

Note to Brittany and Gretchen: Let us know how you do the family dinner thing when you have practice four nights a week and Game Day Saturdays. We have enough trouble as it is.

Also, football safety information is all over the Internet.

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I'd like to point you to three interesting points of view on kids, sports and how we parents behave.

They are: Ralph De La Cruz's Sunday article on parks (actually, sports fields) as a hub for life, and a cut-to-the-bone back-page cartoon essay in the April 23 Time magazine, called Eight Again and thoughts from Brian Shulman, from his new book: The Death of Sportsmanship, and How to Revive It available via his site.

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We spent Easter Sunday with friends who live on a golf course in northwestern Palm Beach County. My husband took our 4-year-old son JJ onto the nearby course to let him swing the club. It was JJ's first time and -- being the sports nut he is -- he loved it and was immediately hooked.

Since the next day was Monday and Spring Break vacation, we were looking to kill time and JJ kept hounding me about getting real kid-sized golf clubs (as opposed to the plastic toddler toy ones at Toys R Us). Since I was not about to pay for pricey clubs, I called a few friends who enlightened me about a real shopping gem for anyone who has kids who like to "try out" sports.

It's called Play It Again Sports, a chain that sells and trades new and used sporting goods and exercise equipment. Has your kid lost their soccer shinguards for the third time? Got 'em. Need a pair of cleats to finish out the season. Got 'em. And at super reasonable prices.

We hit the Plantation location (after finding out the hard way that the one in Hollywood no longer exists; note to self: call ahead!) and found several sets of kids golf clubs, but most were lefty and the prices ranged from $19 to $50 (the most expensive included the golf bag, club covers and the like.) I convinced JJ to start with a single club ($8) and some plastic golf balls. He has been out in the yard practicing every day since.

Here are the Play It Again Sports locations in SoFla. (Don't forget, the Hollywood location is closed.)

K.V.W.

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