In Broward, Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties, public schools are in recess March 14 - March 18.

I was chatting with a co-worker who is still considering options - including taking the week off to be with her daughter and participate in a swimming program.

But for many parents, that's not a possibility.

In the past - I've enrolled my kid in tennis camp, martial arts and general park camps. He's spent school day holidays at a science museum; taking swimming lessons; and with family.

Depending on the child's age - parents of pre-K and early elementary age children might not want them in camps that go on field trips - or emphasize day-long outdoor activities.

But a half-day camp could be a problem for parents who lack transportation or flexibility with work and bosses.

Network with other parents of children who attend your child's pre-K/ elementary- or middle school. Ask where their kid is going to spend spring break. See if you can partner up on transportation and other resources.

South Florida has a wealth of venues and activities for kids of all ages.

Check out our own South Florida Parenting for its camp guide; and each issue is chockablock full of activities and resources for kids.

Admittedly, most people have moved on and are already planning on what to do with their kids for the summer break. And most camp ads are going to promote those programs.

So, are you still planning on planning what to do with you child for Spring Break? Then, what are you waiting for?

Your kid could cook up his or her own college fund with a vegan dish.

Who knew a couple of peas and carrots could add up to $5,000?

Well, it can – if your kid has the right ingredients.

Check out this opportunity: South Florida high school seniors in Broward, Palm Beach and Miami-Dade counties can enter the It’s Vegalicious Vegan Recipe Scholarship contest to win a $5,000 scholarship towards their college education.

Read more about it in John Tanasychuk’s SUP blog.

I wish my son was a senior. I’d have him in the kitchen so fast. Actually, he’s a self-described foodie – and he enjoys the restaurant of contest sponsor, Sublime. Whole Foods is co-sponsor.

Fortunately, my son has a couple of years to practice before he qualifies to enter the contest: He’s already perfected a spaghetti sauce and he makes awesome black beans.

What’s your child’s culinary specialty?

Follow me on Twitter @mindingyourbiz

The pilot episode focuses on Tony, the lead character of the show and alpha dog within his group of friends, and his attempts to help his friend Stanley lose his virginity. The episode features lackluster acting by a few unknowns who are sure to become popular in the future because of their looks rather than their talent (or lack thereof).
The show creates no real excitement, and it certainly does not help to improve the image of the younger generation. At least the characters have room for growth and change as the show evolves.

I'm not that innocent. The cast of "Skins"

Personally, my group of friends and I do not participate in any of the activities that the characters in the show do. Maybe I'm just sheltered in my views, but I do not think that this show accurately portrays the majority of the youth of America.
However, many teenagers do engage in drugs and sex, and the issue should not be as delicate as parental groups are making it seem... People should realize that the show is just that-- a show. It does emphasize aspects of teenage culture that have always been shoved under the rug. Although I am not the biggest fan of the new MTV version, I believe that it does what MTV has always done-- it pushes the envelope and "goes there."
I shall continue to watch and see if the show gets better.

"Sex, drugs, and rock & roll" are the typical themes of any angsty teenage drama. Not unlike "Degrassi: The Next Generation," MTV's new series "Skins" shows an exaggerated glimpse into the lives of high school students. The pilot episode, which delves directly into the story of a few too many characters and their wild escapades, does not clearly differentiate between each personality, forming a hodgepodge of overly dramatic youths.
"Skins" utilizes an almost identical script to its British counterpart by the same title, sparking the question of why it was remade at all. Though the incessant party lifestyles of the characters provide can't-look-away entertainment, MTV would be better off following the path of Teen Nick and Canadian "Degrassi" by simply airing the original version.

Continue reading "What South Florida teens are saying about MTV's "Skins"" »

We all know how time flies.

Fast forward, and our youth is but a blur, compared to our daily lives now full of responsibilities.

So why rush it, right?

But my son has the opportunity to participate in a dual enrollment program: College Academy – when he graduates high school, he will also have completed his first two years of college and graduate with an Associates of Arts college degree.

The program begins when he enters 11th grade. He'll be on a college campus where he will finish up high school and be a college student at the same time.

I think that’s awesome. I see more advantages than disadvantages.

I’m not pushing him either way on this decision. That’s because it will be on him to continue his good grades and be successful.

I’m not pushing him on the decision because he’ll be the one leaving some friends behind. Sure, he’ll make new ones: and some of his friends will also join the academy.

I’m not pushing him on the decision because still, there is that voice inside me that says he shouldn’t give up what he knows. He’ll give up becoming the big man on campus, and having the opportunity to mentor younger students… in addition to hanging with friends.

What do you think? Should kids stick with their high school programs? Should they leave college to the big boys and girls? Will it stunt his social growth? Will it short-change his youth?

It’s a wonderful crossroads to be at: it’s nice to be able to mull over opportunities.

We’ll be attending an open house, question and answers session next week. And some of his friends have already encouraged him to go for it.

Whether you find it controversial or revolutionary, the recent talk about the Chinese mother vs. the Western mother, fueled by the recent “Wall Street Journal” article “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior” and a “Today Show” segment on the topic, has been getting a lot of mothers — and fathers — talking.

Amy Chua, the article’s author, refers to “the term ‘Chinese mother’ loosely.” She includes mothers from other countries, such as Korea, India, Jamaica, Ireland and Ghana, as well. The same goes for Western mothers.

The claim is that Western mothers aren’t as strict as Chinese mothers — that they believe pushing their children academically isn’t good for their children, while Chinese mothers believe pushing their children is exactly what they need because children inherently don’t want to work on their own. Chinese mothers believe that something is not fun until success is achieved and that praise should not be given until this point. Chinese mothers believe that learning does not have to be fun.

Chua also claims that Chinese parents can get away with things that Western parents can’t. Her example was when her father called her “garbage” when she showed disrespect. Where Western mothers would be concerned this would damage their child’s self-esteem, Chua claims it did nothing of the sort. It instead made her feel shame for her actions.

Here’s another example from the article:

The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, “Hey fatty—lose some weight.” By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of “health” and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her “beautiful and incredibly competent.” She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)

Chua says Western parents have to deal with “their own conflicted feelings about achievement” and are “extremely anxious about their children’s self-esteem.”

As a mother of very young children, I have yet to experience the joys and trials of success in school and extracurricular activities, but the self-esteem issue has not been out of my sight. This is an issue for most Western mothers from the time their children are babies — not knowing how much praise to give infants for sitting up, clapping, eating and walking. I, for one, gushed over my son’s every new move as a baby; I just couldn’t help it. But self-esteem overload in children and teens is a different matter I have yet to tap into.

Chua says pushing your children past the “I just can’t do it” moments is key:

But as a parent, one of the worst things you can do for your child’s self-esteem is to let them give up. On the flip side, there’s nothing better for building confidence than learning you can do something you thought you couldn’t.

What do you think? Is the Chinese method better, is the Western method better, or are there values in both?

This week in pop culture:

Demi Lovato: The Disney star who seemed like the nicest, most normal of them all has "emotional and physical problems" that are tied to bullying she endured in middle school. She has cut herself. She may or may not have drinking and drug issues. She may or may not be in a feud with BFF Selena Gomez. She may or may not be pregnant. All these things are swirling around the Internet. And, because my 12-year-old daughter is vaguely aware of all this, I have to pay attention. And I have to figure out what I'm going to say about it. If anything.

"Don't be like Demi" is rather obvious. Good thing Erika isn't a pop star. That seems like a good first step in avoiding some of these problems.

Broward schools were locked down.....the day after the new Call of Duty video game came out. Coincidence? Hmmmmm. Wednesday after school activities were canceled -- conveniently, the night before a day off from school (thank you veterans). This, of course, gave certain 15-year-old gamers even more time, perhaps even all night -- who knows, I went to bed -- to shoot em up. What do we learn from this? Timing is everything.

Lil Wayne is out of jail! Oh joy. Of course, we hardly missed Mr. Wayne, what with the new music timed to come out at regular intervals even during his eight-month incarceration. Genius. What a lesson in time management for his young fans.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 premiered in London. And oh my goodness that Emma Watson looks fabulous in her short 'do. She is shaking off her nerd/wizard past and telling us what every girl knows: Cut your hair, change your life.

OK, I'm calm. Really. I'll be all right.

And then some brilliant ad exec decides to make a commercial mocking the fact that a dad would rather check his phone than play with his kid, or with his sex-starved wife. Hilarious. Except the ad is for a phone. Really? Who are they kidding?

Continue reading "2011 Highlander's anti-family commercial. Really?" »

It's father-daughter campout weekend. That means it's mother-son at home alone.

It's going to be very quiet.

Because at 15, my son has apparently lost his ability (desire?) to converse with me, except if he's asking about food ("why don't we have anything good?"), money ("I need some money," which is not technically a question) and transportation ("Can you take me right now to (fill in the blank)?" asked usually at the most inconvenient time).

But his reticence is OK with me, really. I know he's got a lot going on in his head. What teen doesn't? I know that lurking inside is the little boy who thought I was the greatest thing ever. And if he's anything like his father, he will be a very talkative adult.

So I'll be patient and continue to leap on any gifts he offers me. Usually all I get is a "ughmph" to my cheery "have a great day" as he flies out of the car when I drop him off at school. But today, we actually had a conversation on the mile-long drive! That he initiated! It was not a profound conversation -- something about money (again!) falling out of his pocket. But it was something.

Go to YouTube and search for It Gets Better. Or go to ItGetsBetterProject.com.

There you will find an astonishing collection of videos of adults speaking directly to teens who are gay or confused about their sexuality, who feel different and are frequently bullied because of who they are. These videos are very simply telling kids: If you are feeling tormented in high school, hold on, don't do anything drastic: Life gets better.

The brainchild of radio host and columnist Dan Savage, the It Gets Better Project has taken on a life of its own on the Internet.

Hundreds and hundreds of videos, new ones being added every day, with the power to reach out and touch that kid sitting in his or her room, tormented and feeling alone. Parents of those kids who don't know how to help.

The recent news reports of bullied gay teens committing suicide prompted Savage and his husband Terry to make a video and post it on YouTube. Soon, other gay adults were making their own short messages. Celebrities have gotten on board, gay and straight.

There are videos by Chris Colfer of Glee and pop stars like Ke$ha and Jason Derulo. The cast of Wicked. Bishop Gene Robinson, an openly gay Episcopal church leader. This week President Obama added his message.

But the most powerful videos are from average folks. The kid from small town Iowa or the South. The videos from gay Christians, Mormons and Muslims, all saying, Don't feel alone. Know that I exist, too.

This is something every teenager, gay or straight, should see.

Kids today (I know, I’m sounding like my parents here) have it too easy. They can blast out a message via Facebook or Twitter. They can send a text message or instant message to a buddy. They can chat via game systems.

And they don’t have to leave their couch, house, chair or the mall – or wherever they're hanging out. And now comes voting – early voting and even voting by e-mail.

I know early voting breaks tradition, but to me – at least for now – I cherish the process of going in person to vote.

There is value in being around others who exercise the freedom to vote, to gather in person to do so, despite our differences, opinions and politics.

My son should see this. He and his generation should never let the ease of technology minimize the process of thinking, choosing, doing.

It takes more effort that hitting “send.” It takes active participation.

It may be a new generation of iPad and iPod. But it’s still – I vote.

Check out the Broward County Supervisor of Elections for more voting and elections information.

Continue reading "Apology from an anti-gay bully " »

Hosting a party for your teen is one thing, but 600 drunken kids in your house is complete lunacy. In case you haven't seen the story, a couple in Boca Raton allowed their 16- and 17-year-olds to host a homecoming party in their house. Fine. However, the parents claim that they never left their bedroom in their 17,000-square-foot house while 600 kids got wasted and puked all over their property. Sorry, not buying it. The "we didn't know" defense won't cut it, at least not in the court of public opinion.

Now, don't get me wrong, I went to plenty of parties when I was in high school. Heck, I even threw a pretty good one (albeit in my garage while my mom was out of the country, something I still haven't lived down over 20 years later). I completely understand the teen's point of view on this one, but what I'm missing is HOW IN THE HELL COULD THE PARENTS ALLOW THIS?!?! If they were out of town and didn't know, that is one thing, but these parents helped plan the damn thing! Kudos to them for hiring security and charter buses for sober cabs, but to claim that they had no idea kids were drinking and trashing their house is an insult to any parent.

Jose Lambiet from The Palm Beach Post has a few photos on his blog, as well as a copy of the police report.

I'm at a loss that the parents aren't in jail over this. How can the police find 600 underage kids drunk, but only arrest 8? Did they hand out any tickets for underage drinking? Four kids were taken to the hospital, for crying out loud!

I'm sure we're going to hear many more details about this party in the next few days, but I want to hear from parents out there. Would you ever allow your teen to host a party in your house and not check in? Do you believe the parents' claim of ignorance?

Photo © Monkey Business Images | Dreamstime.com

I’d give myself a B.

And like it or not – getting kids off to school – no matter what grade they are in – is a team effort.

A few times – I’ve slept in – just enough to allow him some extra snooze time –I’ve driven him to school on those days rather than him ride the bus.

But so far this year, he’s never been late to school. That’s a feat – considering he has to be at the bus stop which I drive him to – by 6 a.m.

Since there are already passengers on the bus by the time he gets on – I know there are parents and kids starting their day much earlier than we start ours.

Part of the success is about my son getting to bed early enough to wake up before dawn. He has to have his backpack organized the night before.

I have to have a cup of coffee in the morning.

Do you have any tips or routines that ensure your brood gets to school on time? (you getting to work on time is a whole other matter!)

How do you rate your Get ‘Em to School on Time performance so far this year?

You know you're in for a bad time at the Department of Motor Vehicles when you pull up, you see a line of people standing outside in 94 degree heat, and someone is selling Gatorade from the back of his truck.

I certainly didn't expect to have a pleasurable experience at the DMV when I took my son to get his learner's permit the other day. And I didn't. But it could have been a lot worse.

My colleague Mike Clary has a story in today's newspaper about the Broward DMV offices, the average wait times and such. I'll post it on the jump.

It's worthy to note that one of the people in his story was there with her 15-year-old son getting his permit. It only took them FIVE HOURS!

Let me see if I can make it a tad easier for you, if you're taking your teen to get a learner's permit. You can do this when your teen turns 15. Click here to learn more about Florida teen driver licenses.

My tips:
First: Do NOT go to the DMV without first getting an appointment, which you can do online, even though you might not find an available slot until weeks in the future. Click here to get a DMV appointment for you and your teen.

Having an appointment allowed Creed and I to get in the shorter line at the Lauderdale Lakes office (maybe five people, 15 or 20 minutes) and go straight into the air-conditioned office to wait. Everyone else was in a longer line, (maybe 40 people, an hour or two wait time in 94 degree heat).

Second: Have your teen complete the written tests online. There are a variety of driving schools online whose testing is accepted by the state of Florida. Your teen must take a drug and alcohol test (the Traffic Law and Substance Abuse and Education Course) which can be completed online. And then your teen must take the written driving test, also available online. For the first test, you'll receive in the mail a certificate of completion to take to the DMV. For the second test, you'll receive a waiver number, which gets you out of taking the test at the DMV.

Continue reading "Three tips for making your DMV appointment with your teen easier" »

But commitment requires time and focus – often more than any of us – or our children have.

One thing my own parents have always stressed to me is to back off on over-booking my kids’ time. In fact, the more activities I’d say my kids were up to – the more concerned my dad would be.

“Are you sure it’s her that wants to do all those things?” he asks. I’d have my daughter booked in all kinds of activates so really his comment doubled as a warning. He’s right – Father [always] knows best!

A GeekDad blog post pleads with parents to let kids have kid-hang-out-doing-nothing-time. That’s what my dad always stresses.

My son who is entering 10th grade this year – he’s sticking to tae kwon do – it’s the single outside of school commitment. My dad approves of that.

It creates a focus – he’s not flitting about town rushing to do the next thing – and neither am I.

Scholastic offers up “12 Warning Signs That Your Child May Be Overscheduled.”

Whether it’s you or your kid that is clamoring for more things to do beyond their schooling - how will you balance providing “opportunities” for your child to grow into well-rounded leaders?

How do you manage your child’s time - which also means managing yours too.

Will you let your kid say enough is enough? Or will you be the one to push the too-much-is-too-much brakes?

On Friday the Thirteenth, I have an appointment at the DMV.

The purpose of my visit to the Department of Motor Vehicles is even more frightening. My son
is getting a learner's permit. To drive a car. My car. That I have to pay the insurance for. On streets where other people who have loved ones at home are driving.

News flash: Teen-age boys do not have good judgment. It's a fact that they have worse judgment than any other species with the dexterity to turn a steering wheel. Teen boys are bursting with life, driven by adventure and handicapped by a giant heap of stupidity.

As I sat in my bedroom last night working on my laptop, I received a reminder of this truism. I heard footsteps on the rooftop, and got to the sliding glass door in time to see one of my son's friends flying through the air into the swimming pool. Shortly thereafter, Creed, my 15-year-old, flew into the pool from the roof.

Do you see what I'm talking about?

"Do NOT!'' I warned them. And they burst out laughing. "Why?'' was Creed's automated response to everything that makes good sense. Later, when I gave him my sermon about the boy who slipped while jumping off the balcony into the pool and landed on the pool deck and died (I have true tragedies to go with every possible risk, thanks to working at a newspaper all my adult life), he scoffed.

"I could survive that fall with ease,'' he said, then stood up from a chair, jumped up and touched the ceiling with his finger, as proof that it isn't that high. "I could jump off the roof and do a cannon ball into the concrete and survive,'' he said.

This is the young man I'm trusting my Volvo with?

When I hand my son the keys to my car for the first time, I'll have the same mindset that I walk into airplanes with. I wear sneakers in case I have to jump out of the escape hatch, I thank God for life, and I look for the vomit bag.

That’s the message former WCW female wrestler, Ann-Marie Rae, will convey to a group of youth at a free event Wednesday July 28.

Her presentation, geared primarily toward children entering middle school and older, will also feature some clips of her wrestling days.

Choosing sports as a way of being focused and active and working with local youth has long been a part of what defines Rae – before she became a professional wrestler, she worked at the North Lauderdale Boys & Girls Club and for Lauderhill Parks & Recreation.

Rae’s outline for children to build self-confidence: identify your strength and find a way to develop it. Envision your future. Forgive. Share your skills

It seems like sound advice– create an environment where one can grow to be well-rounded and confident. Sharing makes one’s world bigger. Forgiving allows us to move forward. And keeping an eye on what one wants to be with he or she grows up creates focus.

And it all takes a little of something Rae knows about – strength – of the mind kind.

For more information about her presentation call 954-943-3866.

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com/mindingyourbiz or join her on Facebook

Went on a quick shopping trip yesterday to grab up some school supplies for my son. The first day of public school in Broward County is Aug. 23.

But there are a lot of South Florida parents on top if it already - because the composition notebooks I intended to purchase were already sold out. So I ended up getting some essentials - but not many.

I've noticed - as he gets older and more connected to technology that he uses fewer pens and pencils. He goes through less notebook paper.

But we get him a new portable USB drive each year. And he uses more paper for the printer.

Still, he uses colored pencils for at least one or two assignments and still needs notebooks for each subject. There is always a glue stick around the house, and tape and a stapler.

When my son takes lunch to school - he brown bags it - so I don't have an excuse to get a cool lunch box.

Have you already filled your kids back back with tools for school? Or are you waiting for the last minute? Are you noticing that there are things you aren't buying? or not buying as much of as in past years?

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz Join her on Facebook at Cindy Kent Sun Sentinel

It's funny how some words and phrases vanish as fads while others manage to stick around for decades. "Cool" stuck around for generations. "Bad" is, of course, good. And if something's really good, it's really bad... like "wicked."

Most terms suffer a quicker and more merciful death. Remember when the latest dance move was considered "fresh"? I'll never forget the day I went to see The Running Man at the movies in 1987. As I left, I overhead two guys about my age saying the movie was "dope." It was a compliment. "Dope" certainly outlived its 15 minutes, but I'm not sure it outlived the 1990s.

Sometime in the mid-to-late 1990s, I started to hear "that's so gay." Seriously, it was that long ago. I can document it: the phrase was used in the 1999 movie "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut" (a hilarious picture you should hide from your children at all costs).

I care about language, and I care about the damage words can inflict on civil discourse. Some people call me politically correct, to which I normally argue that they're half-right. It's not about politics. It's about standing up for what's right.

I don't know how many teens have exercised the self-discipline to refrain from using this demeaning expression. I cringe when I hear it uttered by those who are close to me. I found a handful of public service announcements that try to deal with the issue, that try to show people how rude and disrespectful they're being when they use the term. And while I find myself in agreement with the PSA's, I seriously doubt they will have much of an impact.

People just don't seem to care. "That's so stupid. That's so dumb. That's so retarded. That's so blonde. That's so gay." It's just words, right? So what if it slowly but surely embeds in the speakers a coarse indifference to those around us? So what if it validates disrespect to the point that anyone who complains about it must have a problem. Must be a sympathizer. Must be one of them, secretly.

Look, I can't speak for or at everyone else, take the case to the world and convert people toward a more respectful manner of speech. Some crusades are doomed to fail: you just have to start in your own household, maybe let the people around you know what you're doing, and hope respect catches on.

I hope our girls see from my example, and my wife's, that there's something inappropriate about "that's so gay." And I hope my son, still too young to know bigotry and hate, never has to deal with this particular contemptuous expression of banality.

For this expression to last another 10-15 years? Why, that would be so...

Now why would anyone make up a fact that could easily be refuted?

Some British website reported that July 5, 2010 was the date Doc Brown punched into the DeLorean as he planned to be the first human time traveler at the beginning of Back to the Future. About 30,000 twits (um, users of Twitter) passed on the bogus fact (and yes, I was one of them) before realizing that it wasn't true.

Even die hard fans of the franchise can be forgiven, somewhat, for blowing this one. At the beginning of the movie, Doc does say he's planning to travel 25 years into the future. And 25 years from 1985 is 2010. Doc also shows Marty McFly some key dates. Why wouldn't he have shown Marty the date he was planning to visit?

Well, he got distracted, it turns out. He punches in Nov. 5, 1955, gets lost in thought, and the rest is the rewritten history of Hill Valley.

So July 5, 2010 was not future day. And according to the movie's first sequel, Marty and Doc (and Marty's gal pal Jennifer) won't be arriving in the sky over Hill Valley, USA, until Oct. 21, 2015. Why the discrepancy between 2010 and 2015? Well, the events of the first film convinced Doc to travel 30 years into the future instead of 25. So we'll have to wait.

Me? I'd like to send my teens back to 1985. Wouldn't that be fun?

How many of our kids would:
* get arrested for indecent exposure, not for exposing too much skin, but too much underwear?

* freak about having to buy a newspaper to find out what time a movie is playing?

* know how to operate a Sony Walkman? Like, you have to actually fast forward the tape and guess where one song ended and the next one began!

* be horrified to turn on a radio station and hear nothing but 80s music? [oh, wait, they get that now].

* utterly panic about having to carry dimes to make calls to their friends' houses on public pay phones?

* go to the movies and choose between the Karate Kid and Nightmare on Elm Street [Just kidding. Everyone knows those movies were released in 2010. Oh, and 1984].

Well, sorry for helping spread the Back to the Future hoax to those who follow me on Twitter. But it was still a fun thought. Now, tech geeks, you've got five years to get me a hoverboard, a Mr. Fusion, and a World Series Champion Chicago Cubs team.

Such vivid imaginations in Hollywood. I mean, really? A flying car I can see, but the Cubs winning the World Series?

Does social media fit the gender – or does the gender find the social media?

Maybe online gaming isn’t so bad after all. I was resistant to the idea of my son playing games online when he first started earlier this year.

But then again I was resistant to him having a Facebook page and a cell phone!

Things have a way of working out. After maybe a month of Facebook – my son discontinued it. Facebook was too much work, he said.

His cell phone has become a tool – he doesn’t really over-use it. When he first started texting, there was a bit of an issue, but that’s "stale" now too.

His social media de jour is online games.

My son can team up with friends – or play against them. All the while – he can chat with them – not in 140 characters or less, or through long Facebook missives, but actual talking.

With his headset on - he and his friends can go into “party” chat or one on one conversation. They advise, taunt and challenge one another. But they also encourage each other – and even make plans to meet up in person.

In my opinion, it’s the teenage boys’ version of girls talking on the phone. What do you think?

Photo: jwestcoast via Flickr

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Continue reading "Where the boys are" »

Summer can be a real page-turner. Even getting the kid to read can be a real adventure.

It’s that time of year, a field trip to shop for the dreaded Summer Reading list. That's the list of required reading his school requests from selected book titles.

It’s my favorite thing to do – go to a book store and buy books for my son’s summer reading list.

He has to come with us. That’s part of the fun – because frankly, he dreads it and then by the time we’re leaving the store – he’s a happy camper. He even thanks us! It’s that transformation from dreary task to enthused reader that is fun to witness.

We usually make an evening of it, and he ends up exploring the entire store.

It’s on our schedule of things to do this week.

What about you – did you already get the books required? Or do your create your own summer reading list for your child.

Do you tap into local resources like the library – or do you make it a shopping spree?

photo credit: Les Bryant/flickr Undercover Reader AKA Secret Readers Original Oil Painting on 11 x 14 Hand Streached Canvas

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

If I left it up to our cats to teach our son a thing or two…. he’d have a PhD in Sleeping, (see photo) before the summer is over.

It seems that when school’s out –sleeping is in: staying up until 3 a.m., and snoozing until noon the next day is my son’s idea of enjoying the summer.

Well – that’s just not going to happen – no lay-a-bouts here! And I’m inclined to nip it in the bud.

Yes, I’m going to let him have his late nights and sleep-in mornings.

Sometimes. We’ve told him, it’s the exception – not the rule.

He has to get out and ride his bike, do chores, keep up with martial arts and follow up on some volunteer stuff.

There is no doubt, hanging with friends is good – in fact, it’s important.

And they’re going to stay up late some nights and sleep in – which is fine, but not day in and day out – not on my watch.

I have to admit I am a little hard-pressed for an answer when he asks why he has to get up so early (8 a.m.-9 a.m.-ish.) After all – if I had the time, I might take advantage of a late night/ late morning myself–but only for a while.

Besides reminding him that as the parents we set the rules, I tell him I don’t want his schedule turning upside down – that it will be very difficult to get back on track for school.

I don’t think I’m too hard on him. He’s got more down time that planned time this summer – which is a first.

What are your kids up to this summer – are they over-booked? Hanging out? Or balancing their time with spurts of activities with nothing to do in between?

Photo credit: Cindy Kent/Houdini and Zoe demonstrate the art of chillaxing

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

I happened to be watching an episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey recently.

On the show, one of the ritzy moms tried to get her teenage daughter to go visit with a life coach. She thought it would help her indecisive teen make up her mind about what she wants to do with herself.

Her daughter struck down the idea, and needless to say mom was all disappointed.

The whole storyline made me wonder though, just how soon is too soon to see a life coach?

I struggle with this one. I can’t help but wonder sometimes what my life would have been like had I sat down with a decent life coach and hammered out a life plan at 18.

And I don’t have a teenager, so this is not a dilemma I’m facing at the moment. My daughter is only seven and her goal in life, changes day to day. The last time I checked she wanted to be a veterinarian, a makeup artist and a cheerleader. And my advice to her was to do all three. (How's that for coaching?)

But on a more serious note I can't help but wonder if we are asking too much of teenagers these days. If you’re mid-30s and you can’t figure out what you’d like to do with yourself, I’d say you need some coaching. If you’re a teenager and you can’t figure out precisely what your career goal is, I’d say, for the most part, you’re a teenager.

I know the role of a coach is to give others the tools they need to reach their ultimate potential. And in many ways a coach can motivate a child on levels sometimes a parent just can’t get to.

But rather than trying to get our children on one narrow path, shouldn't we encourage them to explore as much as they can in college or by working in the real world and then let them use some of that experience to carve out their niche.

How much can these "life coaches" teach these young men and women about life, when these teens have barely lived any life?

If you haven't seen them yet, we've posted the text message exchange that provoked Wayne Treacy, 15, into beating Josie Lou Ratley, 15, back on March 17. Everyone seems to agree that it's an ugly exchange, but there doesn't seem to be a lot of agreement on exactly where the line was crossed.

Was it crossed when Treacy used an expletive as soon as he realized he wasn't talking to his friend Kayla Manson, 13?

Was it crossed when Ratley called Treacy a rapist for his interest in a girl two years his junior?

Was it crossed when Treacy brought up an (as far as we can tell, unsubstantiated) allegation that Ratley's father abused her?

Was it crossed when Ratley tried to brush Treacy off by bringing up Treacy's brother?

Or was it crossed when Treacy decided to respond with fists and boots instead of words?

The experts are telling us that the anonymity afforded by technology is making our kids say things they would never say in face-to-face conversation. How far do you think this conversation would have gone if Josie Ratley and Wayne Treacy were talking instead of texting?

[Clarification: The text exchange involved messages going from Ratley's phone to Treacy's e-mail account. It has not been legally established that Ratley was the one sending the messages, though any speculation that it was anyone else is guesswork].

Mostly, you could say I was not nervous about the idea of high school... not as nervous as my parents were!

Many of my friends were either already at the high school I was going to go to, or were headed there for the first time along with me.

For me the biggest problem you could say is to stay on point until you get your work done. Then you can play!

A Brief Message to All Eighth Graders…

High school is a blast, and my freshman year has been fantastic, but the transition from junior high to high school can be difficult. Still, if I had been forewarned about certain aspects of school life, it would have been a smoother transition. Here are a few tips that I wish I had known as an incoming freshman.

First, do your homework right when you get home. (That means, listen to your parents!)

This might sound cheesy, but seriously don’t procrastinate; even if you have block scheduling, or your teacher allotted you multiple days to complete an assignment - do it at once. I have found this technique to be the most efficient in completing homework, sometimes I’ll forget or just slack off if I don’t live by this golden rule. I am not saying you cannot have a snack or something, just don’t start playing video games, etcetera.

Let’s see, another useful tip is to take all assignments seriously.

High school is where it really counts!

Depending on how well you do in high school will determine where you get your degree of higher education, if any. Colleges are very strict in terms of applicants accepted, thus you must perform to the best of your ability if you wish to get into your desired college - one’s degree of higher education is what qualifies them for their desired job.

Lastly, you all have probably already heard this, but I will reiterate it.

Teachers in high school are not as lenient as they are in junior high. If you have not learned to show some respect to your teachers yet, you better learn before the school year ends.

The teachers in a high school have trust that you will act mature on your own accord, and if you don’t - DETENTION!

Hope you will take my kid-to-kid advice into consideration.
- Thomas Kent

Thomas Kent, a student at South Broward High School, considers his first year as a high school student a success.

If anyone were to look through my family photo albums, they'd have to conclude that I used to have a son, but he disappeared when he turned 13.

That's when he stopped allowing himself to be photographed.

There was a progression. First he stopped smiling for the camera. The last packet of school photos we ever got, back in middle school, contained a mugshot of him that looked destined for the front page of a newspaper somewhere near a headline with the word "rampage'' in it. Creed confiscated the packet.

Then he started trying to destroy the historical record of himself, if it involved photographic evidence of anything he is now embarrassed about (for example, Creed in a Cub Scout uniform). Thus, he could no longer be trusted to look through family photos without supervision.

And then he moved to where we are now: full blown photo-dodger. He throws up the hand every time I pull out the camera. The photo you're looking at now is an actual recent shot of my son, who is almost 15. He's a good looking kid but you'll just have to take my word for it.

I noticed last night that his Facebook page is full of pictures of him and his friends, photos I'd never seen. Perhaps if he confirms my friendship on Facebook, (still waiting, yes), I'll be able to fill some albums. For now I have to figure out how to coax him into a photo.

I told him that "some day you will want to look back and laugh at yourself,'' but that just wasn't a compelling argument, I guess.

Would you let your child have- or go -to a sleep-over slumber party?

At what age do you consider your child too young or too old for sleep-overs?

What if your 15 year old child was invited to a co-ed sleepover? Yep, I mean the kind where boys and girls will sleep in the same house – would you let yours go?

A very unscientific survey I conducted at work resulted in a nearly 50/50 split of pros and cons; from a resounding “absolutely not,” to “it depends on who would be going,” and “I did let my son.”

On one hand, why would a group of just girls be more trustworthy than a bunch of just boys at a sleep-over? And if parents overseeing the group of snoozers are the issue – wouldn’t those concerns and trust in that parent (s) to handle any situation: to be there, be alert and be involved be the same regardless of the mix?

And on the other hand, for as long as time remembered, parents have been setting boundaries – so, it’s OK for parents to say “No,” as well.

When it comes to our kids, everything has risks--from curfews, to safety on the road and in the home; to whom your kid hangs out with; to where they spend their time.

There is one thing I do know – regardless if the kids are hanging at the mall, going to a party, the beach, or a sleep-over-- you have to have the conversation -with your child, with his or her friends and with the parents. Rules have to be clearly conveyed. Frankly, I’d be about as nervous, maybe more, with my kid at a beach party.

At this point, I am not dead set against the idea of a co-ed sleep-over – I know the kids that will be there. Really, I see more positives than negatives – but I’m still in the discovery phase.

The girls will sleep upstairs at an upcoming sleep-over to which my son was invited. The boys will sleep downstairs. The mom of the invitee will be there. I’ll be calling her soon so we can talk about it.

I’m still wondering too – how is she going to get comfortable sleeping on those steps!

Will your kid be working this summer?

For some families that’s not an option if Mom and/or Dad have lost their jobs - families will count on every family member to contribute in any way they can.

Teens might want to earn money for a car, auto insurance, college, or to jumpstart their career – or just earn some spending money.

So as if on cue and just in time – WorkForce One recently posted information on its website to help teenagers go through the process of job hunting.

WorkForce One provides assistance with access to a jobs information database, job placement services and career coaching, on the Internet and at resource centers throughout Broward County. Business services include employee training dollars, recruitment and placement assistance and applicant screening and testing.

According to Workforce One, each summer, thousands of Broward County teens are on the hunt. And, says WorkForce One, though the unemployment rate for teens is typically greater than overall unemployment, up to five times higher - in Broward County and throughout Florida, teens are competing with much more experienced and educated jobseekers than in past decades.

Teens might even be in competition for jobs with their own parents who are out of work.

Additionally, regardless of the economy, teens also find themselves confronting a series of “firsts.”

Teens will experience their first interview. They’ll write their first resume. And if they’re lucky, they’ll get their first paycheck.

WorkForce One posted its “Top Ten List for Teens: Finding a Summer Job” covering resume writing, job search methods and interviewing skills.

Teens will learn what information they should include on their resume. They’ll get guidance on how to fill out an application, how to dress for an interview and how to behave.

What job-hunting advice have you given your teen?

Would you or your teen consider a summer volunteer position as valuable experience or would it be a waste of their time?

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Photo credit: Flicker - Skokie Public Library 2010 Teen Job Fair

Let me get this out of the way first: it can't be time for prom. She's only four!

Actually, no, Rafael. She's 17. You just met her four years ago. That was her first year of high school. Add four years, and she's finishing her last year of high school. So yes, it's prom time.

Good heavens, that was fast.

Recently they've been talking about dress shopping. Something I have never experienced. For guys, the search for a prom outfit is only slightly more complicated than picking a particular shade of black for your rented tuxedo.

For girls? OK, I'll admit it, I'm clueless here. Sequins or no? How much shoulder do you show? How much leg? How much... else? How many chaperones will there be at a dance that is all but certain to include a song about riding a disco stick?

Sigh.

She's anxious about the dress shopping. We went two weeks ago and couldn't find anything. Prom dresses weren't in stock yet, we were told. Naturally, she's convinced that the entire prom dress inventory will be stocked and sold before we get out there again. Insane, I know, but that's what she really believes.

I can't be the only one who needs advice about this. What are you doing about the great prom dress search of 2010? Where are the best deals? What are the best styles?

And for the dads out there, what are the best ways to sabotage the backseat of a limousine?

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A week ago, Hilda Gotay, the mother of Josie Lou Ratley, said she had not heard words of apology from Wayne Treacy or his family. Words of remorse were passed from Treacy's lawyer to Ratley's during a court hearing. Wayne Treacy was said to be deeply remorseful about beating Josie Lou Ratley and concerned for her recovery.

Well, it's not exactly a phone call, but now Gotay can hear the apology straight from Treacy's clearly distraught mother. Gotay's response on Monday came through her lawyer:

"She is too hurt right now to even think about an apology," said attorney Rick Freedman. "The anger and pain she is feeling is too fresh in her mind, and all that she can think about right now is her daughter Josie".

Naturally, our comment boards at sunsentinel.com are filled to near capacity with harsh words directed at Treacy's mother, Donna Powers, and stepfather, Cary Smith, as if they personally strapped on the steel toed boots that were used in the beating of Josie Lou Ratley.

I can't help but be reminded of the conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with Reenie Brewer, the grandmother of Ratley's one-time classmate Michael Brewer. Reenie, whose grandson survived being burned alive by a group of schoolmates last October, has been trying to get adults to take a proactive role in preventing teen violence, primarily by being decent role models for their own teenagers. Blaming fathers for the sins of the sons is not on her agenda.

"They need more help than we [families of victims] do," she said.

Those words have stuck with me ever since she said them. Every time I read a comment excoriating the parents of Wayne Treacy, or the parents of the alleged cyberbullies in Massachusetts, or the parents of those accused in the burning of Michael Brewer, I go back to Reenie Brewer's words. "If you can find me a perfect person, I'd like to meet them."

Nobody's perfect, and nobody's perfect at parenting. We've all seen families where one child is a model citizen and another child, with the same parents, is a model inmate. What makes or breaks the difference? And rather than scapegoat the parents and try to put them in the same jail cells as their wayward sons, how can we as a society help these parents to become part of the solution?

Can it be done?

Whoever first said "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me" didn't know a thing about the power of words.

Weapons can wound flesh, but the damage inflicted by words can pierce the heart.

Two recent cases illustrate this point. In one, a Massachusetts girl responded to a barrage of harassment by taking her own life. Nine people are facing criminal charges in the case, most of whom are being accused of inflicting nothing more than words on the victim, Phoebe Prince.

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The second case of words hurting is closer to home, in Deerfield Beach. Wayne Treacy, 15, is said by investigators to have been so incensed by words he received in text messages that he set out to find the person who sent them, bicycling three miles until he found his target and allegedly beat her to the ground and kicked her in the head in an effort to take her life.

Legally, Treacy is entitled to a presumption of innocence. In fairness, such a presumption should also be extended to Josie Lou Ratley: we do not know the content of the text message that was sent from her phone to Treacy's, nor has it been legally established who sent the message.

All we know with certainty is how investigators say Treacy responded to the words that hurt him.

I had a discussion about these cases last week with Dr. Sameer Hinduja, an associate professor in the School of Criminology and Criminal Justice at FAU and co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. He explained that the responses of Treacy and Prince appeared to fit certain gender patterns.

"Boys tend to externalize feelings of strain," he said. "Girls tend to internalize them."

So when words hurt Phoebe Prince, she responded by hurting herself. But when words hurt Wayne Treacy, he responded, allegedly, by hurting someone else. Both reactions were extreme, and both results were tragic.

There are plenty of differences in the two cases, and drawing parallels between them is problematic at best. But they do have one thing in common: in both cases, people underestimated the harm words can inflict.

And that's a lesson our teens really need to learn.

This post originally appeared March 26, prior to the release of the text message exchange that preceded the assault on Josie Lou Ratley.

In covering the assault on Josie Lou Ratley, I've had the opportunity this week to talk to several friends of Wayne Treacy, the 15-year-old boy accused of trying to beat her to death.

So brutal was the violence allegedly committed by Treacy that I was stunned, more than once, to hear Treacy's friends trying to make sure I knew that he is not the only one who was in the wrong.

You see, Ratley, also 15, sent a text message containing some kind of "disparaging" reference about Treacy's brother, who committed suicide last October. It was Treacy who found Michael Bell hanging from a tree. The text message from Ratley, investigators said, infuriated Treacy and sent him out in search of Ratley. When he found her, they said, the beating began.

I struggled with this comparison of "wrongs." You see this comparison in the comments that accompany the articles and on the Facebook pages that have sprung up to support Ratley. Yes, Treacy was wrong for what he did, they say. But so was Ratley! Don't forget that Ratley was wrong too!

Have our kids lost all sense of perspective? Is the wrong of an insult, however cutting, even in the same league as the wrong of beating someone to within an inch of her life?

Turns out it’s not unusual for friends of a criminal suspect to try to make sense of the allegations (and we need to remember at this point that these are allegations) by pointing fingers at whatever instigated the crime.

“Young children see things as black and white, right and wrong, good guys and bad guys,” said Dr. Eugenio Rothe, an forensic psychiatrist who teaches at Florida International University. “Adolescents start to see ambiguity. They see how two people on opposite sides can, in a way, both be wrong.”

Jan Faust, director of the Child and Adolescent Traumatic Stress Program at Nova Southeastern University, said friends of suspects are confronted with allegations of violent behavior and feel the need to explain it to validate their friendship.

“My friend couldn’t possibly be responsible for this heinous act,” she said. “Otherwise, how do you rationalize having a friend capable of doing something so horrendous?”

I think I understand Treacy's friends a little better. I'm sure they understand that two wrongs do not make a right. I hope they grow to appreciate that not all wrongs weigh the same. Some are as light as a text message, and others as heavy as a steel-toed boot.

It should be noted that the exact content of Ratley's text message has not been disclosed, so we have no idea how insulting or innocuous it was. But how much does it matter? What level of insult does it have to contain to justify what was done to her? Can we feel compassion for a traumatized and troubled boy without resorting to an attempt to hold the victim partly responsible for an injustice committed against her?

Have you heard? There's something new on the digital front that we parents have to fear: Chat Roulette.

This is a social media site where people all over the world can chat with random anonymous other people using web cams. You don't choose who you chat with. Basically, you spin the dial, and up pops a stranger, sitting at their computer.

With any luck, that stranger in Berlin or Hong Kong or Sacramento is wearing clothes.

This is what Omar Gallaga, the tech reporter with the Austin American-Statesman in Texas, had to say about Chat Roulette on NPR:

"It's something I would definitely, definitely keep my kids from because you see a lot of male genitalia, you see a lot of just bad things, very disturbing things."

All-righty-then.

(Here's the interview.)

And then there's formspring.me. This is a sort of Facebook for cowards, where you can ask people questions anonymously or make comments. What is the point?

Monica Hesse, on the The Washington Post's Web Hostess chat, says, "I can see people using Formspring as a sort of mental weirdness check-up."

Great. Just what insecure teens need: Ask your classmates if you're weird, and just wait for the helpful anonymous input!

Here's more by Omar Gallaga on Chat Roulette. Click here.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

A campaign to urge drivers to stop texting and driving was recently launched.

You know how anxious your kids are to talk to - and text their friends, especially when they are about to meet up somewhere.

They want to get that last tidbit of information just as they are pulling out of the driveway, or zipping along the highway to get there.

But it can wait. Really.

Spring break is around the corner, so is prom night and graduation. Those and every occasion in between put young children and adults behind the wheel of a car.

Eager as they are about staying connected – even phone service providers are telling drivers to put the brakes on driving and excessive cell phone use.

AT&T launched a new campaign, Texting Can Wait for parents, high school educators and youth. emphasizing the risks of texting and driving to remind wireless consumers that text messages can - and should - wait until after driving.

The campaign features true stories and the text message that was sent or received before someone's life was altered, or even ended, because of texting and driving.

In addition, AT&T’s Facebook application, encourages friends to take the pledge to not text and drive.

No, it’s not his grades. He has over a 4.0 GPA. The Kid is a fantastic, kind and smart person, but he's not perfect.

It's not drugs --he lectures me on the dangers of even too much coffee. But, he has an addiction.

Call it by any other name - a fad, a trend, a phase. To me, his obsession with an online video game is an addiction.

So immersed in the game, he often opts out of playing with real-life friends; the ones who show up on his door step.

Instead, he would mike himself up and “play” with friends on-line. That is the kind of social networking I don’t want to see. I want to see social skills, in person, with live real people.

He says that his “friends” can stay up as late as they want on school nights. They have TV’s in their room. That is just too isolated and lacks structure for a person who gets up at 5 am for school.

Besides, long ago, I made the decision, no TV in a kid’s bedroom. I want to see what my kid is doing, what is he playing, and for how long. Plus, he learns to share - this is not a household were we duplicate the family electronics in every room. It's one family - so we have one TV.

When he isn’t playing the game, he ‘s “researching “ it on You Tube for more tips and tricks. That’s the wrong kind of research. I want to see school work reviewed, studied and researched with that much attention to detail.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for balance and down time. I don’t mind that he plays this particular game – I don’t mind the online interface either. Interestingly, not only does he stay in touch with his classmates- but he has reconnected with some of the kids that go to other schools. I trust him on this - it's not about who he is connecting with - it's the volume of time he is re-directing to online gaming.

I do mind the single focus, the tunnel vision, it creates. After many reminders to watch the time, do the homework do some chores and gentle reprimands to not ignore his real friends – or us - we had it out recently.

At one point, he was not allowed to play the game for a week. He needed some specific guidelines that have helped - somewhat - since.

Especially because I am not a strong disciplinarian - the guidelines we set, put the responsibility of his behaviors back on him: he must limit play to one hour a day. No day is a guarantee that he can play because homework, in-person friends and other activities are a priority. He has to use a timer.

What are the consequences? Right now, no play the next day if he goes over the time. If he plays the game in lieu of doing school assignments - I'll help him realign with his priorities by taking the game privilege away for an appropriate amount of time.

Stay involved with your kid’s life and don’t worry if they don’t like it - as my Mom always says, this isn't a popularity contest with your kid - you're not their friend, you're their parent.

That's a good thing for parents to remember no matter what generation - no matter what technology is out there: There is no “re-set button” in life. You’re the boss of the game.

One thing I wasn't prepared for when I became a parent was how hard it is to discipline kids if you're a person who is slow to anger.

I could never be a child abuser, because kids just don't make me that mad. That also means I'm not a great disciplinarian, because I find it difficult to care very much about things like wire hangers.

In some families, a mother who lacks that school-marm instinct is balanced out by a dad who is scary. Or vice versa. In our household, both parents are laid back.

I find myself having to fake it quite a bit, and wondering how other parents find their anger so naturally.

When I'm in a great mood, and the phone rings, and it's one of my kids' teachers saying my child is talking too much in class, I know the expectation is that I'm supposed to go from copacetic to irate in two seconds flat. I wait two seconds, but I'm still in a good mood. So I sternly say something like, "Well, there will be consequences for him when he gets home!'' And that makes the teacher happy.

I found a helpful column about the seven signs of laid-back parenting, which I'll post on the jump. It's frightening, really.

Life would be so much easier if I had a deep well of Parent Anger to tap into, like my own parents did.

Continue reading "How do parents get mad enough to beat their kids? " »

I volunteered at the school store at our high school yesterday, and I noticed there were a lot fewer students around than usual.

"It's senior skip day," I was told. That's the day, a few times a year, when seniors decide en masse to skip school.

I didn't remember this type of group hooky from when I was growing up. I started wondering if seniors don't take school seriously anymore.

Coincidentally, I saw this article in the New York Times shortly afterward. It quotes Hillary Pennington of the Gates Foundation, which is funding new approaches to education, as saying: "As a nation, we just can’t afford to have students spending four years or more getting through high school, when we all know senior year is a waste." She goes on to talk about problems in the transition to college.

I had no idea senior year was now considered useless. What happened? Has this been the experience of your kids?

I can still feel my tiny sleeping newborn snuggling on my chest, his breath in rhythm with my own. There is really nothing better than that pure and blissful moment.

Until you walk in the door from a long day, and his little arms fly up in the air in greeting and a huge drooly smile spreads across the infant's face he's just so happy to see you.

And it just keeps getting better. From smiling to walking to talking. I've always thought that each phase of a child's life is better than the last -- more miraculous, more fun.

Even now, when I walk in the door from a long day and I'm greeted with something closer to a snarl and a grunt from the gangly adolescent. I'm awestruck that I created this, and that everything is working the way nature intended. He's supposed to be drawing away from me at this age, in preparation for the day he's out on his own. Isn't that cool?

When I recently interviewed Maria Bailey, of Mom Talk Radio and BlueSuitMom.com, she said she hears from lots of moms who don't think like I do, who don't think each stage is better than the last.

Maria loves the teen years -- she has three teens and an 11-year-old. "I love it when they make good decisions," she said. And she loves to see how she has rubbed off on them.

I, too, like to watch my kids figure things out, learn from their mistakes, develop into their own personality. That's what's so much fun.

They toddle and fall, pick themselves back up to try again, and soon they are running out the door to play. They babble and imitate to form words and soon they talking back with their own opinions, however illogical and hasty they may be.

No doubt some stages are less complicated than others. As I recall, age 3 is...hard. And my daughter, at age 11, is so easy, I wouldn't mind stretching that out awhile.

What about you? Do you have a favorite stage in your child's life? Or are you really looking forward to age 16?

My kid has advanced - the the back of the bus.

I'm worried.

He hasn't given me a reason to worry really - but I am. Should I be?

After all, why did he make his way to the very last seat on the bus? There are more than enough seats up front. In fact it's crowded back there.

I noticed his sly move last week when I was waiting to pick him up from the bus stop. He came off the bus with a spring in his step and a big grin. "Mom! I sit in the back now with my friends," he boasted.

"You have friends in the front of the bus," I replied.

"Yeah, but I have them in the back too. I know all the kids on the bus, we went to school together last year," he explained.

I know his friends wooed him. "Come on dude, sit back here with us," they would croon.
I know that's exactly what they said.

What the allure? What's the big deal?

It's been several weeks now and I haven't gotten any calls from his high school counselors, concerned parents or the bus driver. So, what I'm I so worried about?

Not sure where to begin with this one. First, you have the issue that these kids have other parents who were not involved in the decision. Second, you have the health implications from using the same needle for all of the kids. Third, you have basic common sense. A tattoo on a ten year old?!?! Someone help me figure this one out.

One, as in one early Christmas gift.

Of course, I have to admit, it's actually a family tradition that the adults in my house started - so we don't really blame the kids for asking and begging to open an early Christmas gift.

Actually, the asking starts soon after Thanksgiving - and its kind of fun to torture the child.

"Maybe," is our single-worded answer until the day before Christmas when our answer changes to "possibly," and finally - "yes."

The choice is ours - we pick out the gift to get unwrapped early. That's also part of the fun.

Though no gift is a dud - sometimes we give what he'll perceive to be the "blandest" of the bunch (and serves as merely another fun parenting moment!)

Do you let kids open early Christmas gifts? Is there a tradition or purpose behind your Christmas Eve early unwrapping? To be honest, I couldn't come up with a good reason as to why we do either.

Merry Christmas!

When my colleague, Joy Oglesby, whimsically took a photo of a sign I hung on my cubicle wall and playfully Tweeted it, it gave me pause to actually consider the message between the lines - not too seriously mind you, but it inspires today's missive.

The sign reads: "Dear Santa, Define Good."

As a kid growing up, I learned that back in the day, St. Nicholas would put coal in stockings of children he deemed undeserving of any other gift that year. I wondered, could the poor soul have redeemed him or herself with a last minute good deed?

What about giving? I don't believe for one minute that as we shop for holiday gifts each year, it's completely without judgment. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I think we do consider how our children behave. We recall how our friends treated us all year long. We decide if other family members have been naughty or nice.

I think most parents are in year-round, is-my-kid-good behavior-assessment mode anyway. How good are the kids' grades? Do they do their chores with grace? (I know, that is a lofty idea!). Are they polite to the grandparents, friends and us?

But as the holidays loom, and we haven't had a chance to do early Christmas shopping, another opportunity for us parents arise: to further define good by looking at even smaller behaviors!

As I brave the crowds of other harried and over-stressed consumers, I know I'll be asking myself: do the kids pout-did they shout? Do they cry? They better not have- at least not from around Halloween on through the holiday shopping season. Because us parents are doing enough of that ourselves waiting in lines to purchase stuff.

"A baloney sandwich!"

Donald Duck put one on his Christmas list, as anyone who's seen the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode "Mickey Saves Santa" can tell you. I think you know your Christmas list has gotten out of hand when it includes lunch.

I got my parenting job a little late. By the time I entered the picture, the girls were entering their teen years. So I pretty much missed the part where they were solely on the receiving end of the gift-giving process. I'm seeing that now with my newborn, who's about to experience his first Christmas.

We broached the subject of Christmas lists in our family a couple of months ago.

"I want..."

Name it. An iPod Cold Fusion, a latptop with Windows 40 for Macs. A flying car that runs on a mixture of nitrogen and oxygen. And a gift card with an unlimited balance at Coldstone and Starbucks.

"And what's on your other list?" I asked. "What's on your GIVE list?"

Huh? What's a give list?

I think teens need to learn, especially as their "gimme" lists become smaller yet more expensive, that the season has more to do with giving than with receiving. I'd bet that teenagers who develop lists of what they want to give for Christmas, and follow through on getting those things for others, will develop a deeper appreciation of what they get for Christmas.

My teenage stepdaughters and I are conspiring on gifts for their mom, and they're working with her on gifts for other family members. And I think it's as much fun for them as it is for us.

In my concert-going prime, I saw everyone from Willie Nelson to Public Enemy, The Cure to Chick Corea. Even Wendy O Williams (true story...I cried it was so awful and scary). And there are a handful of artists I've seen more than once -- Springsteen, REM, U2 (several times).

Now, add to that multiples list: Miley Cyrus.

I really am having a hard time grasping this, what I've become. Not one Miley Cyrus concert, but two. And it gets worse.

This sounds like a bad Jeff Foxworthy joke, but, you know you're an indulgent mom when you let your daughter skip school to go to Orlando for a Hannah/Miley concert, which is what happened during the pop star's first tour. Remember the frenzy over those tickets? I actually didn't even try. But, my friend got four tickets and invited us along, and it was a one-time adventure, and we spent a day at Universal, and ...Oh, I don't know how I rationalized it at the time. It was nuts. In my house, we don't skip school for anything, not even a runny nose.

So I don't really understand what got into me when I ordered four tickets months ago for Miley's concert tonight in Miami. On a school night, no less.

And the thing is, Erika is not a crazy fan. She may be a pre-teen, but she's no teenybopper. Sure, she likes Miley, likes the TV show, has the CDs. But there are no posters on her wall. No stickers on her school folders. No Miley-brand clothes in her closet. Whether or not Miley is a good role model is sort of irrelevant in our house because, bless her heart, Erika is not much of a stargazer. She just likes the music.

I'm sure we'll have a good time tonight, with another friend and her daughter. We'll sing along and hold up our cell phones in the darkened arena.

But I draw the line at buying a t-shirt. No really...I mean it.

P.S. Here's the set list for tonight's concert.

What does your son or daughter want to be when they grow up? Some kids already know while others explore all kinds of careers.

About a year ago, we took The Kid to a magnet school showcase presented by Broward County Public Schools. Going helped us to make a decision as to which high school he would attend. He visited booths, talked to teachers and students.

The next one is Wednesday, Dec. 2. Make it a dinner date with your child. The connections students develop run much deeper than just spending another day at school.

The Kid looked at every single school's booth, displays and projects. He considered everything. Already participating in a marine science program at New River Middle, he choose to continue the marine science program at South Broward High School.

Magnet programs focus on skills from art to architecture; music to math and everything in between. There is an awesome array of resources, dedicated and passionate teachers and administrators.

The Kids really liked the way his soon-to-be fellow students conveyed their experiences so positively. It's no cake walk, they told him. It's a lot of work and responsibility. Now, those students are his role models.

Here's an update: The Kid will be one of about a half dozen students representing his school at the showcase this year. And as middle-schoolers and their parents browse the aisles he'll be there to greet, discuss, show and guide - another role-model in the making.

I first noticed this phenomenon many years ago. It was a conversation with my nephew, and it went like this:

"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 7."
"You're gonna be 40. How old are you now?"

I'm struggling to figure out why it is that people, particularly kids, find themselves utterly unable to answer simple questions. These days, with my stepdaughters, the conversations usually go something like this:

"Have you done your school project?"
"It's not due until next week."
"Oh. I see. So... Have you done your school project?"

The answer is related to the question I asked, but it's actually the answer to a different question. I think it has to do with a desire to save time. When I asked the kid how old he was, he must have figured I was more interested in his next birthday than with his current age, so he skipped to the next question. And the girls must figure it's easier to tell me why their homework isn't done than it is to just say no, seeing as my next question will be "Why not?"

Why do people do that? It's not just kids, either. My wife does it all the time, and I'm sure I do, too.

"Are you hungry?"
"What's for dinner?"

See, the answer is related to the question I asked, but it's not an answer. Would you be hungry if I made pork chops but not hungry if I made liver? No, that's not how hunger works.

I wonder if life would be more interesting if we ran things a little more like a courtroom. That way, whenever someone failed to answer a simple question, someone else could jump up and say "Objection! Non-responsive." They do that in court. Then the judge gets to decide whether the response really answered the question. The judge can tell the witness to give a more direct answer. That might be cool.

Then again, it won't work, because I'd never get to be the judge. So I'd never win. And I'd never find out whether anyone wants dinner.

The Pride Center at Equality Park, along with other supportive agencies, is seeking to open up an exchange of ideas and solutions to help the community understand the needs and social circumstances of gay, lesbian and transgendered youth in Broward County.

So, this Friday, the GLCC Pride Center is hosting a conference from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.at their new location: 2040 N. Dixie Highway, in Wilton Manors.

Co-hosts include SunServe, the YMCA of Broward County, Safe Schools South Florida and Equality Florida. “Trapped in the Margins: Challenges of Meeting the Needs of Broward’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth,” will highlight issues and challenges; provide information and create dialog as a way to assist our GLBT youth.

Medical and clinical professionals, elected officials, youth service providers, business owners[ legal and protective service professionals and the general public will present case studies and speeches.

For more information about the symposium call 954-463-9005. To learn more about The GLCC Pride Center and their programs visit www.glccsf.org

One recent vacation meant spending time without The Kid.

It was nice, I won't lie. But I missed him. I won't lie about that either.

I can survive without my children around (but only for a while). Still, we had adult time for days in a row. And over the summer, he had a vacation without us. And he's already participated in overnight school field trips.

And frankly, I'm the clingy one - every once in a while, I check the blog Free-Range Kids, to help me become more of a free-range mom, to be honest!

We were only a phone call away and he could have called us everyday. We called him a few times to chat. We sent postcards too.

The Kid truly has developed a confidence about his independence - or maybe it's me that is growing. I never took time away from his older brother or sister. And I didn't let them out of my sights.

But I think it is a healthy and normal part of growing up. I spent time away from my family as a kid. A summer camp here, visiting grandma there - overnight sleepovers at friends. IAnd many Saturdays, I even walked from my house to a major mall, as a kid.

Still, there were great things about our vacation: Back at home, The Kid made his school lunch everyday, did his homework, took out the trash, fed the pets and did the dishes. And not once did the adult staying with him have to ask him to do any of that.

I think giving children day to day responsibilities and having expectations about how those are carried out help to build a foundation for when they really are on their own.

But then, there's always coming home. That's nice, wonderful, actually, and I won't lie about that either!

Recently, an old friend posted something on Facebook asking for advice. Her son was turning 13, and she wasn't sure what to expect.

All the helpful comments were about communication. Particularly, about how this was an age when boys clam up. Information is on a one-way highway right through those adolescent ears. Blah blah blah.

Now that my own son is almost 15 and a freshman in high school, I've had to devise ways other than actual talking to seek information. And I still feel extremely uninformed. So if you have ideas, please share.

First, employ a spy. A younger sister can be effective, if she's paying attention and willing to divulge. But you can't abuse the relationship. Mostly, I've gotten tidbits he would find simply embarrassing. Nothing truly valuable. Like the time some girls yelled across a playground that they thought he was "hot." Whatever.

Second, the surreptitious backpack search. I was one of those parents who kept all the little reports from daycare about diaper changes. I diligently went through the backpack every single day through elementary school. I read all the school and PTA newsletters. I talked to or emailed teachers. I was informed. Now, I know nothing. It was weeks after the fact that I learned that school pictures had already been taken and the deadline for buying pictures long past. Somehow, hmmm, the form had vanished. So when I have a moment alone in the house, and the backpack just happens to be sitting out, well....I'm not above a little search. Mostly, I've found crumbs and empty bags of chips. Sometimes, the lack of evidence is very comforting.

Electronic surveillance. This one is tricky, because you can be caught. If you read his text messages, he'll know. My colleague Brittany Wallman mulled this option recently when her son's cell phone was taken away from him in school. My feeling: She had a perfect excuse to invade her son's privacy as part of his "punishment." But you can check your phone bill online to determine exactly what time of day your child is sending and receiving texts. My son still hasn't figured out how I knew those girls were texting him at 2 in the morning!

Online grade books. This is the club hanging over his head. If his grade falls below my comfort level, I get an email. And he knows that if a grade falls, his computer privileges will be severely restricted.

Facebook. He does not want to be my friend. And I can kinda understand that. I don't like it, but he hasn't given me a reason to go to battle over it. But...he's friends with his 20something cousins -- they'll be on the watch. And, I am friends with one of his friends, so sometimes I get a little glimpse into his world. Lemme tell you, it's pretty lame.

The school website. My son's school posts the daily announcements, and they are a gold mine of information about clubs he doesn't want to join and tryouts he doesn't want to go to. At least it gives me something to talk to him about. Not that he's listening.

When are kids too old to trick-or-treat?

Seriously. I want to know. For religious reasons, I never participated in the annual extortion ritual that consisted of knocking on neighbors' doors and threatening them with mischief unless they handed over a Mars Bar or a Zagnut. So I never had to face the prospect that one day, I would be too old to do it.

But for the last few years, I've had the pleasure of tagging along with my wife while my stepdaughters have charmed the candy out of their neighbors. It's cute, but I'm starting to wonder whether they're getting a little old for this. They are 16 and 14, after all.

Have we reached the point in their lives when we should start planning Halloween parties instead of falling back on a ritual meant for children?

Are you as charmed by teenagers at your door as you are by the little ones? At what point do you feel more like you're being mugged than anything else? [And don't get me started on those who come to the door without a costume: you're not a trick-or-treater, you're a home invasion robber].

This isn't exactly related to my overall question, but I have to acknowledge the efforts of some churches to engage in a bit of counterprogramming on Halloween night. I grew up in a household that sapped the fun out of Halloween but didn't replace it with anything. It was just: "don't do it!" These churches don't ban the Halloween you know and love. But rather than say "don't do it," they say "do this instead."

Maybe such an event would be a good way to wean a teen off Halloween. I won't use this space to plug the activities of a particular church, but if you know of any counterprogramming, feel free to leave a comment.

Maybe I'll wait until next year to suggest a different Halloween activity. Why spoil the fun? Besides, in another year or two, our infant will be ready to start extorting the neighbors for a Watchamacallit.

And he can bring his sisters along, too.

[By the way, if you're wondering, those aren't our kids in the photo: it's Al and Tipper Gore in a 1998 AP photo].

I feel like I'm holding my child's unlocked diary in my hands: I have my son's cell phone.

It was confiscated by his teacher because it vibrated in class. In Broward County public schools, the kids are allowed to carry a cell phone, but it cannot go off in class. I think it's a sound policy. If it's taken away, it will only be released to the parent, on the next school day.

The phone was taken away on Friday. That meant Creed had a phone-less weekend. I told him it was good for him.

It didn't occur to me that when I picked up his phone, I'd have access to his text messages. I could find out what this 14-year-old is up to!

But that seems awfully close to something my own parents would have done, and I am very sure I would have seen that as a distrustful, dishonest move on their part.

What do you think? Take the poll.

Yes. You are coming out to dinner with us, I said to The Kid.

We were invited to have dinner with friends at their house. It was an impromptu invitation. Letting The Kid stay home was not an option - going out would not have been as fun without him - I like introducing him to our friends. The balance is that there are times we let him "sit this one out" and he stays home.

He wondered why he had to - after all, these people are strangers, he said.

But not once you meet them, I countered. So off we went to dinner at their house - enjoying awesome homemade chicken pot pie.

Turned out to not be too difficult a task after all. The Kid had seconds. He enjoyed the conversation, even though the rest of us were just a bunch of adults.

I like my son knowing who our friends are: We share little stores about what so-and-so is up to, keeping him updated in conversation that isn't always just about him or us, but others out in the world.

I don't think I intended it to be an example but, in turn, he also introduces us to his friends. He lets us know about things going on in their lives - generalities, important events, etc.

So, we get home from dinner, bellies full of pot pie and he says, he's glad he came with us. It's a simple thing, I know - nothing earth-shattering, but I'm glad he came too - our dinner out with friends was also family time.

Recently, a friend of The Kid asked if he had his driver's permit yet.

Needless to say, the question gave me pause - and I did everything in my power not to slam on the breaks - not out of anger or anything - more out of worry and shear horror.

I was driving the children at the time.

Gosh - these kids are younger than the blades of grass in our yard for cryin' out loud!

And what's the rush anyway?

Isn't it kind of nice to be chauffeured? Sure, our "passengers" are a captive audience as we adults drive them everywhere--the service comes complete with lectures and conditions.

And we get to spend time together. I get to meet his cohorts - in person no less!

But at some point, kids-my son included, are going to be in the driver's seat. And the best we can do, short of never, ever letting them out of our site, is to empower them with the right tools, starting with good driving instruction.

You can download AAA's Choosing a Driving School pamphlet here.

It's a guide for parents of beginning drivers. There is a check list of questions to ask, things to look for in a driving school. There are tips on how you can supplement what they'll be learning with additional information and experience.

It seems like only last year, I let him ride his bike - as long as he's wearing the helmet, knee pads, has reflectors, lights....

I know. I know!

You're young and brash. You're witty. You make good grades. You're a little bit bad. You make your friends laugh. You're the master of all that is known and unknown.

But you're also only 14 years old - give or take a few years.

This is for certain - once you click SEND or hit that ENTER button, just like saying something out loud, you can't "take it back."

It could be worse - your missives are out there on the Internet for all the world to see - for a long time. Those here-and-now communications via photos, blogs, text messages and MySpace/FaceBook could come back to haunt. That includes inappropriate or illegal downloads.

People you have yet to meet might even run into your digital antics along that information highway- like a future employer for example. But it's often, and unfortunately - a hard concept for kids - and many adults - to process.

That's why AT&T and iKeepSafe partnered to create a series of online safety education tools and projects, in conjunction with American School Counselor Association, to teach students how to protect their privacy and reputation online.

Parents should check out the MySpace tutorial. And if you do nothing else, listen and watch- with your child of any age-to first hand stories of students victimized by Cyber-bullies.

Your awareness needs to equal or exceed your child's level of social networking activity.

Together, parents and young kids can watch a Faux Paw cartoon adventure on illegal downloads. But supplement that with some real conversation.

AT&T's Stay safe. Stay connected, suite of resources provides tips for home phone, television and wireless safety tips and well as links to other resources.

Because, before tapping or clicking that send button - kids need to think about their future, their reputation, they could be deleting.

Diane Viere and her husband, Gordy, are life-long residents of Minnesota (but plan to one day soon be snowbirds). They are the parents to three birth children and have parented 21 foster children during their 35 years of marriage. Diane has partnered with author Allison Bottke and is the Director of Group Communications in Setting Boundaries, LLC. In that capacity, she joyfully helps parents of dysfunctional adult children find hope and healing through the 6 Steps to SANITY and 12 Weeks to Freedom: SANITY Support Program.

An insidious thing happened on the way to my son’s 18th birthday—he learned to believe that I was responsible for his life.

He was born with learning disabilities, and I advocated for him at every turn. When children teased him at school, when coaches didn’t let him play, when doctors and teachers seemed indifferent – I did not rest until the wrongs were made right. It was my purpose and my passion.

In spite of my good intentions, I never allowed my son to learn how to fail while living in the safety of our home. He had learned as a child that Mom and Dad would bail him out of any situation. Why, then, was I shocked when he began to live irresponsibly as a young adult?

“How did this happen?” As a SANITY Group Facilitator, I am asked this question often when I meet with parents. “We only tried to help her,” they tell me. “How did he miss the importance of responsibility? We have worked tirelessly to help him!”

To understand the answer to this heartfelt question, we must first understand the critical difference between helping and enabling.

In Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents, author Allison Bottke defines this critical difference:

Helping is doing something for someone that he is not capable of doing himself.

Enabling is doing for someone what he could and should be doing for himself.

An enabler is a person who recognizes that a negative circumstance is occurring on a regular basis and yet continues to enable the person with the problem to continue with his detrimental behaviors. Simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which our adult children can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.

What does enabling look like when you are the parent of an adult child?

Continue reading "How to tell you're enabling your child instead of helping" »

Our biggest challenge the first week of school was --getting The Kid to school.

Well, it really wasn't our challenge - it was the bus driver's. Alternately, the bus was early, on time, or very very late. But by Friday morning, the bus was waiting for him for a change.

That pretty much sums up our week because that was the most unpredictable part.

The Kid got up each morning at 5 a.m. on his own - except for one time.Another time, he had to wake us up.

I think teamwork played a big role in our success. We support one another. As much as we love to spoil him - we also make it clear that it's up to him to stay on task, to be a self-starter, to go that extra mile.

The next step is the extra activities - should we wait to start up martial arts again? How will he manage homework and after school club stuff? He also has to find the time to volunteer.

We're looking forward to a weekend of downtime. Yeah, right. We'll be back to the store shopping for lunch food. We have to get The Kid some long pants - he grew out of every pair over the summer. He has to get a few more school supplies.

Oh, he has to review his assignments to see what projects he has to begin - and he'll hang out with his friends at some point. For that, he always manages to find some time.

Warning: The video attached to this post could be very disturbing to younger readers/viewers. Parents should review this video before deciding whether it's appropriate to share with their children.

I first wrote about texting while driving back in April, and not surprisingly, the issue has not gone away. For our family, it's taken on a little extra significance because my older stepdaughter now has a bona fide driver's license (and her own car). She no longer needs to wait for us to take her anyplace.

And we trust her (with all the hesitation that most parents feel when their 16-year-olds get behind the wheel of their cars).

Right now, her phone is out of reach while she's driving. We know we can't monitor every second she spends in the car, but I'm glad my wife talked to her about the dangers of distractions behind the wheel. I hope she listens. I know it's had an effect on me.

Speaking of which, I was disturbed yesterday to see this video being played on CNN. I thought it was a bit much. But now I'm not so sure. Maybe we should see this kind of thing more often.

By the way, it's a British public service announcement, which explains why the driver is sitting on the "wrong" side of the car.

What do you think; is this an effective way to get the message across, or is it bound to backfire as a scare tactic?

Teen drivers: Ad campaign targets risky road behavior

Stay Safe: Tips for new teen drivers

Parkland Commissioner wants to ban texting while driving.

Now that my kids are 14 and 7, I got the Phillips head screwdriver out on Sunday and removed the child-proof latches from the bathroom cabinets.

Freedom!

But now apparently I need to apply some kind of latch to the vodka, maybe to prescription meds in the house, and quite possibly to any cigars my husband might have lying around. Why? Because as I said at the beginning, I have a 14 year old.

A few weekends ago, I was in bed reading a book (John Steinbeck's The Red Pony, about an innocent young boy and his beloved horse), when I heard an ambulance, and sirens. Sounded like they were heading our way.

They were.

A group of young teens, my son included, were at a friend's house a block down the road, and her mom wasn't home. Some of them guzzled the vodka. One of the teens passed out, several vomited. A neighbor checked on them, found the grisly scene, and called 911. The sober kids, my son among them, were told that one of their friends "might not make it.'' Three of them were taken by ambulance to the hospital.

Did they learn a lesson? I hope they did. And so did we, the parents.

A lot of the important work raising kids is done by the time your child is 14. You've built the foundation, and when your kid's a teen-ager, you find out how sturdy it is.

Is there anything you can really do to stop a teen from drinking?

Will a child-proof latch work?

Guest blogger Tom Kent has already had his fun in the sun. He's got to hit those books now. To his mom, the new ninth-grader seems pretty cool and calm about the whole deal - going into high school and all.

Well, high school really is approaching fast. What I truly mean is… summer sure is ending fast.

I’m looking forward to high school – I don’t have much to worry about. I’ll be earning college credits as a freshman. How cool is that? I am very lucky to have the opportunities my high school offers me.

Which high school is that, you ask? Well none other than South Broward High School. The programs at South Broward are very interesting to me.

I went to New River Middle where I took the marine science program. (I love the water.) It just so happens, that South Broward also has a marine science program which I will continue to follow! In college I plan on majoring in Journalism with a minor in Marine Science.

When I grow up (no joke) I want to work at the Sun Sentinel in its Science and Health section; just like my mom, Cindy Kent (only she works in the business section).

Well, my expectations for high school should be just as I anticipate because I have already been there sixteen times! I participated in a marine science camp, called the Summer Beach Program and already earned 35 volunteer hours. Go Reefdogs!

I will definitely have a good four years at South Broward.
--Tom Kent

Lots -- and lots -- of books cross my desk. But this one really caught my eye:

The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School.

Bingo! My daughter Erika is starting sixth grade. That's a big enough deal. But she's also going to a school with absolutely nobody she knows. (Except her dad, who teaches there.)

Sixth grade. Big school. No friends. Ugh.

As I flip through this handy guide, I see all kinds of useful advice: "How to Play It Cool When You Don't Know the Answer." "How to Su