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Category: Toddler (70)

September 4, 2008

Taking my three-year daughter to the potty in the men's room

We celebrated my daughter finally learning to use the potty. She did it the week before her third birthday. What a relief.

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Then came a wrinkle I really didn't think of until, well, my daughter had to go potty and her mommy wasn't around.

I went with Ana Isabel to the beach just us two for a little papi and daughter time. She loves the ocean. She played in the sand. And we had a ball in the small waves. Then came the moment: "Papi, I have to go potty!" she says.

After a brief second of panic, I blurted out: "We're at the beach, go right here." She looked at me with a blank stare and said it again. "Papi, potty." OK. That wasn't the best idea.

I picked her up and headed to the bathrooms, the public men's room. As I'm racing with Ana in my arms, I'm thinking: "Do I take her in the women's room?"

I know what most public men's rooms look like. I'd rather not take my daughter in there. As we approached the two bathrooms doors, a scraggly looking man walked out of the men's room.

"Anybody else in there?" I blurted out. He quickly answered, I think one other person. At least, it was not a public restroom full of grown men standing in front of urinals. We raced into the large wheelchair accessible stall. No one else in site.

Ana peed. I probably was more relieved than she was. Later in the day, we used a unisex bathroom at a restaurant. That was better.

I make it a point to do things with my daughter alone, especially since the arrival of Lucas Emilio four months ago. So I guess I'm going to be dealing with this dilemma for a while.

Any other suggestions for taking my daughter potty in public when mommy's not around?

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August 21, 2008

What's an appropriate birthday celebration for a 3 year old?

Today is Ana Isabel's third birthday. Hard to believe. Seems to me like she just got here.
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Funny thing with birthdays. For the third year in a row, my wife and I talked about an appropriate way to celebrate our daughter's annual milestone.

We discussed a party but decided against it. That to me seems, well, like a waste of time and money. I know that for many people it's the only way to go.

But here's what we're doing: Ana, her little brother and my wife went shopping for the ingredients to make her birthday cupcakes. They'll plan to spend today baking.

Tomorrow, they'll take the cupcakes to a monthly book club/playdate. And next week, I'm off of work and plan to spend time with her on my own and together as a family, going to the beach and maybe even a trip to Wannado City. And she's already received a ton of presents from family and friends.

We think all those activities are fun memorable ways to celebrate. Still, my wife said to me the other day that she feels funny when she tells others that we're not having a birthday party.

Maybe we'll have one next year when it'll mean more to my daughter. But for this year, I'm really looking forward to cupcakes, the beach, Wannado City and just spending time with Ana.

Is that so wrong?

An update: Last week, I blogged about Ana's reluctance to go on the potty. Well, two days later, she decided it was time. She went on the potty. We've had a few accidents. But there's progress. Thanks to those who gave us many tips. We have used some and it has helped.

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August 14, 2008

We're about to get militant on the potty training

My daughter turns 3 next week. And we have been turning up the heat on the potty talk, using different tactics to get Ana Isabel to use it. But nothing so far.
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We've had a plain potty in the bathroom for about a year. A few months ago, we started pushing the issue. We bought another one, this time a Dora potty. We've adorned it with stickers.

My wife bought an Elmo potty training DVD. We have potty training books for children, even one that flushes. Nothing.

Ana has gone as far as sitting on the potty and saying her "China" is broken. (That's her version of vagina.)

As Ana's birthday approaches, we fill a bit more pressure because she's now old enough to enroll in programs we'd like for her to take, such as gymnastics. But she has to be potty trained.

Up until now, we've operated under the premise that Ana will go on the potty when she's ready. But now, we're not so sure.

My wife's thinking of taking a harder-line. She's talking about letting Ana spend a day without a diapers or pants. That way, she'll poop and pee on herself. The hope is that it will make her uncomfortable enough so that the potty looks good. Of course, we'll be cleaning some major messes that day.

Are we just being impatient at this point or should we get militant with the potty training?

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August 4, 2008

Charlie bit my finger: Kids do the darndest thing

Big brother sticks his finger in baby Charlie's mouth and is surprised by the resulting pain.

This YouTube video was posted May 22, 2007 and has gotten nearly 43 million hits. Thanks to the co-worker who alerted me to this funny video.

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July 24, 2008

Knotted, tangled mess of a head

Following up on my colleagues post below about hair, my nearly 3-year-old daughter, Ana Isabel, wakes up most mornings with her hair looking like a rats nest.

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I mean it's bad. Really bad. So bad my wife and I have had to cut out knots in her hair.

We're perplexed on how to prevent it.

Ana has this beautiful long light-brown, almost blond, hair. It's thin and wispy. We don't shampoo it every night at bath time and we use gentle baby hair products.

My guess is that Ana is a thrasher as she sleeps. She whips her head back and forth on the pillow, which makes a mess of her hair overnight.

For the most part, the problem comes when it's time to comb her hair. She hates it. It become this long drawn out process to get her ready to go out of the house.

For me, this falls under the I-know-nothing-about-this aspect of being a dad to a little girl. I didn't anticipate it and I'm at a complete loss for what to do. Is it even something I should worry about?

Any suggestions?

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July 22, 2008

Are Dora bikes for boys?

My son wanted a Dora bike. So what if it’s a “girls bicycle”?

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Still, I hesitated. Couldn’t he just make this easy and choose the Hot Wheels bike? But why should he? The Dora bike was colorful, much livelier than the muted blue-and-orange Diego bike next to it. Should I tell him that adults have categories of “girls” and “boys” that we generally follow? When is it appropriate -- or offensive -- to reinforce gender identity?

The same thing happened at Target last week. He wanted the pink Dora pull-ups. Reflexively, we said they were “for girls,” but then we asked ourselves why it should matter.

Back in college, it was easy to “deconstruct” gender categories, to dismiss the “hegemony” of how they falsely shape our world. Then we had kids. And we realized that gender helps order their world. Alexander also loves trucks, and I’m sure that’s not an accident. Somehow, he figured out that boys like trucks. But it’s a fine line, of course. I’m not looking to raise intolerant boys.

OK, so you want to know, right? He ended up with a Thomas the Tank Engine bike. I told him he could get the Dora bike if he liked. But he chose the train instead.

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July 17, 2008

To Pre-K 3 or not? That is the question

Ana Isabel turns three next month. And all the talk among the parents of the three-year-old set is whether to send their children to Pre-K 3.

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First off, Ana seems a bit young to me to be going to school. For Pete's sake, she's not even potty trained yet. (But that's a question for another post).

I don't see the benefit of sending Ana to what's essentially glorified day care. She's a bright child already reciting the alphabet and counting up to 12 in English and Spanish. She gets to 20 with a little prodding. She speaks in full sentences, albeit short ones she repeats all the time like "I don't want to!"

I know there's an argument to be made for socializing children at this age. Ana gets along well with other children, shares and plays well with others.

The certified teacher that runs the Mommy-and-Me program that Ana attends told my wife that everything Ana would learn in Pre-K 3, can be taught at home with simple lessons.

So can someone please explain to me the benefits to sending my child to Pre-K 3?

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July 15, 2008

Apple sauce for everyone!

Alexander, our 2-year-old, has launched a battle for the household’s hearts and minds. His strategy is clear: small victories will change the parenting landscape. What, mom says no apple sauce until I finish lunch? Well then, head over to dad on the couch and ask in that adorable 2-year-old voice, “Daddy, can I have some apple sauce?” Who can resist that? His ostensible target is one plastic cup of applesauce, but the campaign is more sweeping: to be greeted by apple sauce at every meal. To be, indeed, the apple sauce king of Fort Lauderdale.

Why stop there? If that trip to the potty seems intimidating, ask oh-so-nicely that “mommy take you.” She is, after all, in the bedroom dressing for work, buying you several key minutes with Henry, your new Thomas the Tank Engine piece. Who knows, you think to yourself, maybe they’ll forget. Sure, there’s a slightly wounded parental ego to consider, but the prize is much bigger: spending the entire day in pajamas with trains. This is, after all, the side of good.

But sometimes it doesn’t work. Parents get stubborn. In that case, remember you are a big brother. Get mom and dad to focus on Rowan while you repeatedly jump off the couch. Victory at last.

And how does this play out with your little ones?

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June 26, 2008

Gosh, my daughter is getting heavy

There's nothing better than when I walk into the house after work and Ana Isabel runs up to me yelling "papa."

I usually pick her up and give her a kiss. I ask her if she has been a good girl and ask about the day's activities. It's usually a short conversation, aside from the fact that she's not even 3 yet, I usually arrive just before bedtime.

There are other times when I pick her up and carry her around. At the mall, during walks to the store or when she wakes in the morning. But since her brother, Lucas Emilio, arrived two months ago Ana wants me to carry her all the time. She was 35 pounds at her last doctor's visit. So my arm hurts after a while.

My wife says Ana has me wrapped around her little fingers. Maybe so. But I see the time when I'm going to have to stop just because my arm is about to be pulled out of its socket.

Any suggestions on how to encourage my daughter from making that same request over and over and over. My arm would sure appreciate it.


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June 20, 2008

Best free events for kids

In this week's installment of free stuff to do. transparent.jpg


Take your budding car expert to check out the classics at Lake Worth's Evening on the Avenues.

If your kid is interested in making things explode, the free science museum at Sugar Sand Park in Boca Raton is a good bet.

Good (free) times can also be had at:

Today: Summer Games exhibit at Miami Children's Museum, 980 MacArthur Causeway. If you don't make it today, save the date for the third Friday in July when its free admission.

Musical performances from 7 - 9 p.m. at Hollywood's Young Circle Park at U.S. 1 and Hollywood Blvd. Bring a blanket or lawn chair for seating.

Saturday: Asian Pacific Festival at the Alvin Sherman Library in Fort Lauderdale. Learn about traditional Chinese music and dance, Thai traditional dance and see a Korean Hapkido martial arts demo. Plus there will be food and craft projects. From 1 - 4 p.m.

Storytime for kids ages 3 - 6 at 10:30 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Broward Mall, 591 S. University Dr., Plantation.

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June 5, 2008

The language of toddler Neanderthals

Got a toddler? If so, it’s worth picking up Dr. Harvey Karp’s book on them. We went right out and bought it after reading the New York Times story on it.

Karp’s earlier book, Happiest Baby on the Block, was hugely influential for us. We were religious with our oldest, Alexander, about using Karp’s soothing techniques. They worked, and they worked again with Rowan, although I probably pulled back a bit from the constant swaddling the second time around. (Hey, that swaddle gets hot in Florida!)

Karp’s theory is that a toddler’s development mirrors human evolution, but he rockets through evolutionary stages that took millions of years for our ancestors. So toddlers go from “charming chimp-child” to “knee-high Neanderthal” to “clever cave-kid,” and then “versatile villager” from 12 to 48 months. He writes: “Once you learn how your toddler is similar to a caveman, your true job will become clear – you must think of yourself as an ambassador from the 21st century to the Neanderthal people!”

Then Karp offers a key piece of advice: how to talk a primitive language your toddler will understand. There are a few steps to speaking “toddler-ese”: short phrases, repetition, tone and facial expressions and body gestures. Here’s where it gets funny. It really comes down to embracing those silly moments when you manage to distract your toddler from some pending meltdown. So I tried it with Alexander, our 2-year-old: He woke up one morning and starting banging on the refrigerator for juice. His frustration was growing. So I went over and joined him. I got to his level and started saying “juice, juice, juice.” I smiled and laughed, and looked like a fool. But, as Karp would say, Alexander was happy because I understood him, so he calmed down.

You need to be a bit dramatic, Karp says, and don’t be surprised if you feel uncomfortable, or even weird. Still, it shouldn’t be that foreign. Lots of people naturally speak toddler-ese; they’re people we compliment as “good with kids.” They don’t mind looking silly if it makes the kid happy.

It’s not a cure-all, but the beauty of Karp’s writing is that he reminds us of self-evident parenting skills. He didn’t invent swaddling; he just reminded us how to do it. The same goes for toddler-ese. So give it a try. And then post to tell us if it works.

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May 22, 2008

When is Ana going to go on the potty?

We now have a newborn and my 33-month-old daughter in diapers.

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The only good thing about that is that we have races to see who can get their diaper changed faster, Ana or Lucas. He's three weeks old. That way Ana won't fuss about a diaper change as she often does.

But we think it's time that she starts learning to go on the potty. We have two: A plain one and a Dora one. But so far, no interest.

Ana says she's scared of the flush.

A friend of my wife let us borrow a couple of potty books. My mother-in-law got her big-girl underwear. And we talk about the using the potty often.

I know there's a school of thought that says she'll go on the potty when she's ready and to push her only invites a lot of cleaning up little accidents.

But I got think there's more we can do to encourage her using the potty. Any suggestions?


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May 19, 2008

Now I'm in a time-out

Elias will be 3 next month. I'm hoping the Terrible Twos will end, miraculously, when he's no longer two.

When he doesn't get his way, he has recently started to put me into a time-out. He does this with as much authority as he thinks he has, ordering his brother, his father, and even his grandma into a time-out as well.

I also hear echoes of my own admonishments when he responds, "Didn't I tell you to go to your room?" Something tells me I've been doing a little too much yelling.

So I have to try to dial it back. But I still don't know what the appropriate response is when he tells me I've been put in time-out. Any suggestions?

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May 16, 2008

Chilling out with the kids: How to beat the summer heat

Summer has arrived in South Florida.

Last weekend we spent the steamy evening at the beach with dozens of other families with young kids looking to cool off.

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This weekend promises to be another scorcher.

So we'll probably head to Croissant Park for a dip in its kiddie pool to cool off. (Note: infants must wear swim pants)

Or just turn on the sprinkler and set up a bootleg slip 'n' slide.

Where is your favorite place to take the kids to cool off?

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May 1, 2008

Albuterol? What's that?

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We have a new member of the household: a nebulizer. It arrived a couple of weeks ago after our baby, Rowan, got bronchiolitis.

He takes his medicine, albuterol, two or three times a day through the nebulizer, which allows him to breathe it through a mist.

Our 2-year-old, Alexander, was at first scared by the apparatus, but now finds the chicken design on the mask funny and announces that it’s time for “Rowan’s medicine” when he hears the machine’s loud humming kick on.

Bronchioloitis appears among babies at day care, which Rowan started at 3 months. But I’m curious about other people’s experience with albuterol. Rowan seems to be OK with taking it, but I doubt that will last. I gather that bronchioloitis can last up to age 2. Our good friends talked about getting to the point of having to hold their daughter down in order to use the nebulizer.

Have people found it worked? What’s been your experience? Any side effects from the medicine?

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April 25, 2008

Training child to use the bathroom

I'm starting to get Baby to tell us when she has to use the bathroom, but am finding that I'm the one who needs training.

I get restless sitting on the bathroom floor while waiting for her to go.

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Plus, I don't think at 14 months that she's grasping the concept. Right now we rush her to the bathroom at the times when we know she's due for a delivery.

What has worked for you?

Is it potty-training videos? Patience? Books?

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April 24, 2008

What's a child to do while mommy is in the hospital having another child?

Everything in our lives right now revolves around the pending birth of Lucas Emilio. He's scheduled to arrive via C-section next week.

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My wife, Carrie Ann, is at that point where she can't get comfortable in any position. I worry about having all the last minute errands done.

My daughter, Ana Isabel, well she seems to be the least worried. Of course, she'll be three in August. So her focus is playing with mommy or papi or a best friend she makes that day. Still, Ana knows she's going to become a big sister next week.

My biggest worry is how will Ana handle her mommy being in the hospital for a few days. My mother-in-law is flying in to help. And I'll be off of work. So hopefully, we'll keep her busy. But still, the hospital can be a traumatic place for adults. And it's the first time Ana and momma won't be sleeping under the same roof overnight.

So what do you suggest for keeping a nearly three-year-old child from being traumatized by a hospital experience?

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April 21, 2008

Toddler toothbrushing tantrums

Why, oh why, must the toothbrushing ritual be such a pain?

Elias, who is almost 3, recoils in horror twice a day during toothbrushing time. He flails, he cries, he grabs my hand, he twists, his head moves away from me with a strength that I didn't know he had.


I have tried everything. Giving him the toothbrush first so that he can do it himself. Singing silly songs as I brush his teeth. Explaining to him rationally (as if he can understand) that he is going to have big boo-boos in his teeth if he doesn't let me brush. Cheerfully telling him we've got to get the "sugar bugs." Getting his older brother to show him how it's painless to brush teeth. Buying him one of those Spin toothbrushes with Thomas the Train on it.

But everyday, it's an ordeal. He works himself up to the point sometimes where he's crying uncontrollably and I want to give up. But every time I want to throw up my hands, I think of the dentist experience that Evan had. Suffice it to say he had more than one cavity. More than two, even. It was a horrific experience, one that Evan ever-so-helpfully tells Elias about.

I'm wondering how other parents deal with their toddler who are violently unwilling to have their teeth brushed, and I'm also wondering what age your kids were when they first went to the dentist, and what you did to make them comfortable. Confession: Elias hasn't gone yet. Gulp.

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April 11, 2008

School pictures

Baby's daycare is holding picture day later this month.

For a mere $35 or $60, 1-year-olds can appear as hula girls or sailor boys. camera.jpg


I was not prepared for the onslaught of school portraits to begin in daycare.

What has been your experience?

Did your child's daycare offer professional photo shoots? How did you handle it?

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April 10, 2008

Baby Lucas arrives in three weeks

We're in the final countdown for my son, Lucas Emilio, to arrive. We're all very excited, including my daughter, Ana Isabel.

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My wife and I are scrambling. I'm finishing up house projects to get everything ready. My wife is pulling out all the baby stuff. And family members have booked their flights since Carrie Ann has a C-section scheduled.

That brings me to Ana. We have been telling her for months about Lucas' arrival. She's two and a half years old and seems to get it that there will be a new addition to the family.

Still, I don't want her to feel left out. I'm planning on doing more daughter and papi things with her. And we've put aside a few presents for her as well from our generous family, friends and colleagues.

Any other suggestions for keeping the jealous-sibling syndrome at bay? Or should we just be prepared to face it?

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April 9, 2008

The great shoe debate

Ana Isabel is two and half and hates shoes.

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It doesn't help that my wife, who is nine months pregnant, often has swollen ankles and feet at this point. So she often ends up either barefoot or putting on sandals.

I'm the one always insisting that Ana put on her slippers or shoes. And it's not just about dirty feet either.

The other day Ana was walking with a noticeable limp. She favored her right leg.

Of course, I feared the worst. I worry that her bare feet hitting the cold, hard tiles in the house could have a detrimental effect on their development. I know that when I walk barefoot for too long, it hurts my feet.

We later realized that when Ana slipped trying to climb onto our bed in the morning she banged her ankle against the bed frame. It swelled for two days, but it's better now.

Still, it seems to me that Ana sometimes has a misstep in her walk.

Am I crazy or is it only natural for a toddler to reject the restrictions of footwear? Should papa stop being a fuddy duddy and just let Ana run wild bare foot?


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April 8, 2008

Can birthday parties actually be fun?

Question of the day: How do you create a successful birthday party?

We’ve got one Saturday for Alexander, who’s turning 2. In recent days, Shola and I have turned to one another and said, “How many people are coming to this thing?” We then both shrug and say, “Not sure.” We didn’t set out to throw a big party; it just seems to have grown with each day-care/church/park/family/neighbor friend we invited. And in some cases, we needed to reciprocate invitations. Invitations seem to go out en masse for kids’ birthday parties. Parents don’t know which kid to invite from day care, so they just invite the whole class. It’s a good idea for kids, but sort of makes it hard to plan a party.
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But I digress. The real issue is what to do with these kiddies. We thought about a musician, but couldn’t find anyone suitable. A clown was forbidden after our baby, Rowan, reacted with utter terror to a clown at another party. Face painting requires patience, and that’s antithetical to the idea of two dozen 2-years-olds (remember: we don’t know if this is the real number of attendees) at a birthday party. So we’ve settled on the idea of singing some songs, letting them run around the playground and eating pizza and cupcakes.

But I’m on the hunt for ideas. Got any good games? Activities? Food?

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March 27, 2008

Body parts, China and a two and half year old

This falls into the category of something I never thought about on my way to parenthood. But it happened one day a few weeks ago.

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Sometime back, my wife and I agreed on teaching our children the anatomical correct name for their body parts. It wasn't a big discussion, just something we sort of agreed on almost in passing.

Of course, most of this teaching goes on while I am at work. So I never really have given it that much thought until my daughter caught me off guard.

Her mother was at the doctor. And we were playing in the living room. She opened her mouth wide. I did the same. We did the aahhhh thing, each of us getting louder by the moment. Finally, I stopped and pointed in her mouth and said: "What's that in there? Is that China?"

That stopped Ana Isabel. "No, papa. That's not my China. This is my China," she said while doing a full-on Michael Jackson crotch grab. Vagina, China. It's all the same to a two and half year old. I just about fell out of the chair trying not to laugh.

I relayed the story to my wife. We laughed. It's better than the name her grandmother used to for the same body part, Carrie Ann said. Tootie. It confused her as a little girl when the sitcom "The Facts of Life" had a character with the same name.

So, how do you handle teaching your children about their body?

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March 25, 2008

Is my kid bored in my car?

So how do you keep your kid entertained in the car?

Here’s why I ask. Alexander, who is 2, started his new school this month in Boca Raton, near my Sun-Sentinel office. It’s also close to my wife’s office in Boca. But there’s a catch: We live in Fort Lauderdale. So I take him to school each day, and she picks him up before heading to get Rowan at his day care in Fort Lauderdale.

For two weeks we’ve had these drives up Interstate 95 to Boca, about 40 minutes. I decided early on that I was not going to listen to NPR in the car. This was for two reasons. First, a colleague and a friend both recently struck the fear of God in me about leaving your kid in the car. They both recounted hearing about cases of perfectly well-meaning people just forgetting about their kid in the back seat. They got so wrapped up in their routine that the kid faded into the background.

Then there was my desire to actually make these trips meaningful for the two of us. I knew that listening to the news would mean I was not listening to Alexander. He’s not really fascinated by coverage of the presidential race. So I figured shutting the radio off was a way to focus on him, talk to him.

But I discovered a problem: We run out of things to talk about. I mean, he’s only 2. And I get a bit bored pointing out trucks -- “tractor-trailer truck,” “tanker truck” – for the entire ride. The other morning I tired coming up with stories behind what the trucks were carrying. That worked well with a refrigerated meat truck. He started pointing to trucks afterward and saying, “Take meat to the store,” and “cook it.” But that only goes so far.

My colleague, Daniel Vasquez, made me wish l that I could find a way to take a train or bike on this long ride, even just for a week as he did. So what do you think? A kid’s book on CD? A game? Is NPR the way to go after all?


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March 21, 2008

Easter candy and baby teeth

This week, the daycare my child attends celebrated St. Patrick's Day and Easter by asking parents to bring in plates, cheese, juice boxes and SWEETS: cupcakes, candies, cookies.

candy.jpgWhat the heck do children ages 1-2 need with candy???

Baby teeth are temporary, and can be difficult to clean if the baby is like mine and squirms and wails during the cleanings.

I was instructed via a note to bring candy for the Easter party. I brought grapes, lovingly divided into baby bite sizes, for the kids.

As a compromise, I brought in treat bags of candy and gum for the teachers.

How do you deal with your daycare provider plying your child with sweets?

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March 7, 2008

Things to do with Baby

A couple of weeks ago I was agonizing about the enrichment possibilities for a babe in South Florida.

And the response was helpful: go to the beach, Quiet Waters and Tradewind parks and story time.

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Since then, I've found some great things to do with an infant or toddler. The educational-training powerhouse Nova offers classes for babes and parents.

And now that we're entering spring, there's always a fair or fest to check out.

But I think we're going to put our eggs in the South Florida Parenting Extravaganza which will have a petting zoo, pony rides, a firehouse, face-painting and more.

If you've got something cool to do with your rugrat this weekend ... please tell me. I could always use good ideas.

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