I was so happy to walk into day care and see one of my 3-year-old son’s male classmates in an apron during dress-up time. As I surveyed the room, I noticed a bunch of the boys were wearing similar items. My son went straight for the bucket of baby dolls, and he wasn’t alone.

It was refreshing that the teachers let the boys play with what they want, even if the things they choose are typically labeled as girl toys.

Masculinity oftentimes excludes things like playing with babies, cooking and cleaning. But I think it’s time we challenge those notions. Why should a boy be discouraged from playing with dolls? Just from watching the toddler boys gravitate to the “girly” cooking toys and baby dolls makes it clear that they have the same interest in those types of activities as girls do. And if they’re allowed to experiment with them as kids, perhaps they will continue to show an interest in those activities as adults.

I came across an interesting article about a mom who bought her son a play kitchen. She said her husband cooks, and her son wants to be like daddy. She said people teased her about buying such a “girly” toy for her son, but I applaud her for not trying to mold her son into what mainstream culture says he should be. Read the article here.

The same should go for girls. I’m having my baby girl in two months, and I plan to let her play with whichever of my son’s toys she wants. Why not let her explore all that’s out there? She may not even like his trucks, but she’ll have the chance to find out for herself.

Do you let your sons play with girl toys and vice-versa? Do you think it’s healthy or harmful?

Continue reading "How to cope with toys that make noise" »

My daughter and her cousins wrote out their Christmas wish lists a few days ago. I couldn’t wait to look at it. I figured it would give me some clues about which aisles to hit first in the toy section.

But to my surprise my seven-year-old’s wish list had everything on it except toys. I had to chuckle as I scrolled down her sheet of paper. Her wish list looked more like mine, and I’ve only shared mine with the friends in my head.

High up on her list—a refrigerator with an ice machine. I had to ask why? Our refrigerator is a decent size and our ice trays seem to do just fine. At least, I thought so.

But I’ve come to learn after spending time at her cousin’s house and getting used to simply pushing her glass against a lever and getting ice, my daughter think it’s time for an upgrade.

Also on the list is a car with a television. I guess my NPR on the car radio in the mornings is simply not cutting it. She’d like to watch TV and preferably have cable in the car, since our house is a no cable zone.

She’d also like Santa to bring her a driver’s license. What use is a car with a TV if you can’t drive it anywhere?

I must say looking at her list was a wake-up call. I couldn’t help but wonder if I’m allowing her to get too wrapped up into a materialistic world. But a big part of me knows my daughter likes to play house and pretend and some of these things are what a mom, even a make-believe-mom, would want.

If she wonders why none of those things are under the tree on Christmas day, I have my lines ready. Santa can’t fit a fridge and a car in his sleigh!!!!!

Does social media fit the gender – or does the gender find the social media?

Maybe online gaming isn’t so bad after all. I was resistant to the idea of my son playing games online when he first started earlier this year.

But then again I was resistant to him having a Facebook page and a cell phone!

Things have a way of working out. After maybe a month of Facebook – my son discontinued it. Facebook was too much work, he said.

His cell phone has become a tool – he doesn’t really over-use it. When he first started texting, there was a bit of an issue, but that’s "stale" now too.

His social media de jour is online games.

My son can team up with friends – or play against them. All the while – he can chat with them – not in 140 characters or less, or through long Facebook missives, but actual talking.

With his headset on - he and his friends can go into “party” chat or one on one conversation. They advise, taunt and challenge one another. But they also encourage each other – and even make plans to meet up in person.

In my opinion, it’s the teenage boys’ version of girls talking on the phone. What do you think?

Photo: jwestcoast via Flickr

Follow Cindy Kent on Twitter.com @mindingyourbiz

Continue reading "Where the boys are" »

I'm a PS3 guy. Plain and simple. I wanted the console so that I could play my Grand Theft Auto (obviously with no kids around) and to finally have a Blu-ray player in the entertainment center. However, I'm also a guy who tries to put his family first. Thus, when it came time for us to finally lay down our hard-earned money we decided upon the Wii.

I knew there was no way my 6, 3, and 2-year-olds would be able to handle a standard game controller, but the motion-controlled remotes for the Wii were perfect. Right out of the box my 6-year-old daughter was navigating through the menus with ease, and my 3-year-old was beating her at bowling. Even my wife—who HATES video games with a passion—became wrapped up in all the fun. Before long, we were rolling on the floor laughing and talking trash.

We've since added a few games just for the kids, but the other HUGE plus of our investment has been the addition of Netflix on demand. Have you heard of this? It has literally revolutionized the way I watch TV. I will NEVER sit through a network TV show again. The endless library of movies and TV shows available ensure you will never run out of stuff to watch, including great programs for the kids. This service is also available for Xbox and PS3, but then you'd miss out on watching your 2-year-old knock out your wife in boxing (fair and square).

Anyone else remember this one? Man, I loved this show...

My boys have recently become absolutely obsessed with superheroes, so we made sure that their recent birthday gifts were stacked accordingly. The best of the bunch proved to be the costumes from the grandparents. Before this gift, if the boys wanted to play dress-up they had to hit their sister's princess trunk. Now I come home to find them running up and down the hall with their capes flying behind them yelling, "Superheroes, to the rescue!" Priceless.

The trouble came when I wanted to show them their heroes in action. I started by turning on a recent Batman cartoon, that lasted about 10 seconds before it became so dark and violent that I had to turn it off. Why can't someone make a hero show for little kids? The bigger kids obviously have their shows with the guns and explosions and I'm OK with that, but what about something for the younger fans? Do I really have to resort to watching old Superfriends episodes on YouTube?

They've gotten too big.

Rubber-band bracelets have caused so much commotion at schools that at least one middle school has banned them.

Known as "Silly Bandz," Crazy Bandz and Zanybandz, they look like colorful plain rubber bands around children's wrists, but take unique shapes when they are removed.

But starting Wednesday at Omni Middle School in Boca Raton, they'll be confiscated.

Principal PJ D'Aoust e-mailed parents saying "These novelty items have created a disturbance on campus and have also become a safety concern in a number of ways."

Some kids are putting them around their necks, some are snapping other students with them and others "using them as projectiles and stingers," his e-mail said.

I generally roll my eyes at what I perceive as over-regulation -- as a volunter elementary school nurse I once sent a kid back to class with a spider bite -- but in this case, I'm with the principal. It's an easy decision: if an object is getting in the way of school and it's causing problems, it's administration's job to remove it.

Meanwhile, other schools are using them as fund-raisers and teachers dole them out as rewards.

I'm curious if bans are in place at other schools, though.

Anyone else get an e-mail?

One, as in one early Christmas gift.

Of course, I have to admit, it's actually a family tradition that the adults in my house started - so we don't really blame the kids for asking and begging to open an early Christmas gift.

Actually, the asking starts soon after Thanksgiving - and its kind of fun to torture the child.

"Maybe," is our single-worded answer until the day before Christmas when our answer changes to "possibly," and finally - "yes."

The choice is ours - we pick out the gift to get unwrapped early. That's also part of the fun.

Though no gift is a dud - sometimes we give what he'll perceive to be the "blandest" of the bunch (and serves as merely another fun parenting moment!)

Do you let kids open early Christmas gifts? Is there a tradition or purpose behind your Christmas Eve early unwrapping? To be honest, I couldn't come up with a good reason as to why we do either.

Merry Christmas!

When my colleague, Joy Oglesby, whimsically took a photo of a sign I hung on my cubicle wall and playfully Tweeted it, it gave me pause to actually consider the message between the lines - not too seriously mind you, but it inspires today's missive.

The sign reads: "Dear Santa, Define Good."

As a kid growing up, I learned that back in the day, St. Nicholas would put coal in stockings of children he deemed undeserving of any other gift that year. I wondered, could the poor soul have redeemed him or herself with a last minute good deed?

What about giving? I don't believe for one minute that as we shop for holiday gifts each year, it's completely without judgment. I don't know if that's good or bad.

I think we do consider how our children behave. We recall how our friends treated us all year long. We decide if other family members have been naughty or nice.

I think most parents are in year-round, is-my-kid-good behavior-assessment mode anyway. How good are the kids' grades? Do they do their chores with grace? (I know, that is a lofty idea!). Are they polite to the grandparents, friends and us?

But as the holidays loom, and we haven't had a chance to do early Christmas shopping, another opportunity for us parents arise: to further define good by looking at even smaller behaviors!

As I brave the crowds of other harried and over-stressed consumers, I know I'll be asking myself: do the kids pout-did they shout? Do they cry? They better not have- at least not from around Halloween on through the holiday shopping season. Because us parents are doing enough of that ourselves waiting in lines to purchase stuff.

The holidays are right around the corner. Of course, that's not breaking news to moms and dads. The kids also are quite aware.

But continuing economic challenges might cause families to re-evaluate the idea of giving and receiving gifts.

Of course every day is a good day to spend money wisely, if you have to spend it on something. And every day is is a good day to remember priorities - what's important in the big picture of life and love and family and friends.

As an aside, my son makes homemade cards for family on special occasions - it's a tradition we've all come to expect - and anticipate! It costs him more in time than anything else. But it comes from a place you can't buy - the heart. So it's also invaluable.

Don't get me wrong, we give and get stuff too.

But families are struggling, many, just to keep a roof over their heads. The idea of spending money on decorations or gifts pale compared to the need to pay a medical bill, the electricity or buy food.

Watching budgets will undoubtedly be a part of everyone's holiday spending plan.

What things will you do to celebrate the holidays, but because of the economy, a lost job and other challenges, your plan is different from past years?

We all have a Barbie story.

Maybe your story is the same as a co-worker's (we'll call her GiGi): As a young girl she took her middle sister's prized Barbie with her on a trip downtown with her mom.

It was cold and snowy outside, so GiGi burrowed Barbie in her winter coat to keep her warm. Somehow, she slipped away. Tears ensued.

GiGi's mother filed a missing Barbie report with the town's radio station. The doll was never found.

Or maybe Barbie was never allowed to escape your lips, much less enter the home.

I had Barbie, and Ken, and the black Barbie, and the pink remote-control Cadillac, and her townhome with a bubbling spa (add water and press the pump to create bubbles!!).

What's your Barbie story?

I have the Crayola-colored streamers, the Curious George plates and the menu.

But I'm stumped as to what to give 13 kids as party favors. I'm looking for something 2 year olds would get a kick out of that won't break my bank.

I'm toying with stuffing the bags with bubbles, Play-Doh and a Goldfish-shaped snack box.

But should I scrape it all for a board book about Curious George? I'm desperate for some gift ideas.

The gift (or gifts) should be suitable for a 2 year old that still stuffs small objects in the mouth.

If Bernard Madoff had made off with my life savings, I'm sure I would see him as the devil incarnate.

But I'm not sure I would want to pass along that anger to my kids. That's why I find the new "Smash-Me Bernie" doll, with a likeness of Madoff dressed as a devil, so disturbing.

The doll, which was unveiled yesterday at the New York Toy Fair, comes with a hammer so investors or anyone else can get out their frustrations on Bernie.

My first impression was that it was anti-Semitic: portraying a Jewish man associated with Jewish money as the devil.

But Andy Rosenkranz, Florida regional director of the Anti-Defamation League, told me the doll is simply "in poor taste."

"There's nothing that brings up the fact that he's Jewish," Rosenkranz said. "However, to advocate violence, even as a joke, is not a good thing."

This joke is clearly intended for adults: It will sell for $99.95. But who would shell out a hundred bucks for a doll like this? It's unlikely Madoff investors will want to invest in the likeness of the man who ruined them.

What to do with these toys? They are overtaking our modest condo. Trucks at every turn. Stuffed animals, puzzles, balls –- baskets full of the stuff. It’s beginning to feel like a wave that continues to crash around the house. You clean one area, and then another corner is swamped with gadgets of one sort or another. So some clearing out is in order. But where to start?

I’ve heard about families in which kids had to give away a toy once they got a new one. I like that idea, but haven’t had the stomach to start it. Anybody out there do that?

And are people giving away plastic toys these days? I don’t know of anything under recall in my house, but I wonder if I've seen all the notices. And then there is the other problem: What if you give away something that is later recalled? But sending plastic toys to the dump seems like such a waste, on many levels.

Then there’s the question of hand-me-downs. Alexander, who is 2, has clearly outgrown some toys. Rowan, who’s 6 months, may want some. But should we keep them all until we know which?

Anyway, how do you handle this?

OMG, Cabbage Patch Kids are back!

Not the new-fangled corn-silk-haired dolls or those freaky premies, but the old-school cabbies with yarn for hair.

When the dolls were released in 1983, my dad was among the mass of parents, at a Toys R Us off Biscayne Blvd and 125th St., in the queue to "adopt" a Cabbage Patch Kid.

Rachel is still with me. After years of living on a closet shelf, she now has a loving home in my daughter's toy chest.

Baby loves to pluck Rachel from the chest and drag her (by the hair) around the room, stopping to kiss the doll's cheek or sit on her stomach.

Since the Cabbage Patch phenomenon, there has been mania over Barney, Tickle Me Elmo and Dora the Explorer.

What doll did your kid HAVE to have?