Anchormom

Translating news for your kids...and other tales of a mom trying to balance more than just the news...

Snapshot of a "Saint"....Drew Brees

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   "The moment" of Superbowl 44 for me, wasn't when Peyton Manning was picked off by Tracy Porter, and he ran it in for that pivotal touchdown (though that was awsome!)   It was the money shot of quarterback Drew Brees and his 1-year-old son, Baylen... confetti pouring down, Brees' eyes stung with tears.   It was so moving to witness such a personal moment and professional triumph...on such a public stage.  I teared up for sure.

   As a parent, we can all relate to what that must have felt like for Brees.  He literally held everything he ever dreamed of in that singular moment.  His son, his trophy...his college sweetheart and wife, Brittany.  It is rare we truly "get it all"....and more importantly, know the very moment we do.

   Before he was this superstar "Saint", I sat down with Drew and his wife for an interview when they were newlyweds and new to the NFL.   We chatted on their new couch, in their new home in San Diego.    They seemed almost gitty over their new life.   Brees had that glow of an up and coming quarterback with the wind at his back.  He was the back up quarterback then, to Doug Flutie and I asked him what it was like to be so popular.  He was quick to point out "Everyone loves the backup quarterback,"  knowing full well, when you're "the guy" people expect results and if they don't get them, they turn on you.

   And, in short, that's what happened to him in San Diego.  The Chargers saw him as expendable, with Phillip Rivers standing by as their future.  Drew was cut loose, he injured his shoulder, his prospects were few and unpromising.  The Saints picked him up and in turn, he picked them up.  It was a match made in underdog heaven.  And as I pointed out to my son sitting on my lap during the Superbowl:  "He was written off, ya know...only Drew decided to write his OWN story...and you can too".

   It is the classic tale of believing in yourself, playing for something bigger than you (a battered New Orleans) and not giving up.   It turns out Hurricane Katrina met her match, in "Cool Brees".

   My heartfelt congrats.

Vaccines vs. Autism...What's a Parent to Do?

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     If you're like me, when you heard there might even be the slightest chance that children's vaccines could lead to autism, you gave serious thought to what you could be pumping into your child's body.   I know with both my kids, I spread out all their vaccines, even though doctors and nurses encouraged me to just get them over with at once.  I wasn't comfortable with that.  Aside from the study that claimed there could be a link, I just felt it was an awful lot of "stuff" to be putting into such a tiny body.  Add that to the fact, that I'm extremely sensitive to medication (I get every "rare" reaction or side effect listed on the label) I just didn't think it was wise considering they have my DNA.

   Now we learn, that study may have been mishandled.  Let's face it, the scientific community has never been on the same page about it, primarily because autism is such a mystery.  The news story Fox 5 ran February 2nd reports the man in charge of the study claiming to link autism to vaccines... allegedly paid for kids' blood samples and fudged findings in other ways as well.  My question is:  Even if that's true in this particular study, does that really extinguish the possibility of a link entirely?

   My sister, Dr. Priscilla Bade-White worked with autistic children for over a decade, got her doctorate in school psychology, and has written several textbook chapters on autism.  I asked her what she thought about this latest controversy.  She says first and foremost there are several medical studies looking at autism, and not just it's possible link to vaccines only, but how vaccines can interact with certain children with specific conditions.  Take celiac disease, or gluten intolerance or other gut problems.  There are some studies that suggest, children with those conditions may be more susceptible  or at higher risk of autism if vaccinated.  (Keep in mind, this is my brief, layman description of one such theory.)

   However, she also points out that there are a lot of parents of autistic children who swear by it.  They swear their child was one way before vaccinated, and totally changed after.  So who do you listen to when science is still in the works and the jury is still out?  I say our guts.... and talk to your doctor about your concerns. 

   One thing you can do, is what my sister described as asking your physician for "an alternative vaccine schedule".  It's what I did with my children, only it wasn't called that back then, and frankly it was kind of frowned upon, but apparently it's more widely accepted now.  So, if you are nervous or unsure, that's one option that's changed fairly recently.

   I have a nephew who is autistic and he is a sweet, little gem, with his own set of gifts.  It's my hope, the medical community can get on the same page, so we can unwrap what's going on inside him and so many other children.

   Until then...we journalists will continue to do some digging of our own.  Watch for updates...

 

 

 

Teaching Change

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   Aside from "pocket change" and a "change of clothes", I can't think of any other scenarios when the word "change" doesn't strike fear or cause some kind of discomfort.  Oh wait, "diaper change"...but you get my point. 

  Change is scary, but yet it's the only thing in life we can truly count on.  It's always in motion.  Take our change of seasons.  They mirror our lives.  Sometimes we are in a dark winter, holding on, until spring breaks.  Or watching our lives literally change in front of us like the leaves change color.  And yet, no one really addresses "adjusting to change" as a life skill.  And, isn't it?

   Imagine for kids what change is like.  By nature, we cling to stability....in their case: their mothers and fathers, teachers, buddies, even their schools, clubs and teams.  So, when any of those players change, it reshapes their little worlds.  And, it can be very unsettling to say the least.

   My son for instance, has great difficulty in new situations.  He has to muster all his courage to go into a situation where he "doesn't know anyone" and it's so painful to watch him go through it each time.   And we work really hard as parents to help him clear this hurdle when it surfaces, as it does time and time again.  I just wish he didn't have to "jump" it EVERY single time and it became a natural reaction.  But how does one teach that?  Especially when you haven't exactly mastered it yourself?

   All I know, is that I think it's critical children are armed with the ability to adjust, adapt and not to fear change.  Otherwise, you're handicapping them, because life is always going to be re-shuffling the deck.

   Perhaps the first change, is to have a "change of heart"...and just embrace it.  Like my Grandma always said:  "This too shall pass..."  And as I'm learning...sometimes way too fast.

  

 

A Boatload of Memories...

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   This past Friday, I embarked upon a trip I haven't taken since I was a Senior in High School.   I went whale watching off the coast of San Diego.  This time, it was with my 7 year old daughter on a first grade field trip.  I have to say, my maturity level hasn't changed much, nor has the trip...but, what a different experience to see it through her eyes.

   It's always fun to get out on the water (I am a commercial fisherman's daughter and have always loved being on the bow of a boat), and it was a beautiful, clear day.  The bay was teeming with activity, most of it Naval.... from overhead helicopters buzzing by, the tarmac roaring with planes taking off from the Air Station, sea lions lazily sleeping the morning away on various buoys.  We even watched a human chain of sailors reload a nuclear submarine.  And that, was all before we left the bay!

   But the most fun, was watching my daughter and her little friends clutch the railing, taking it all in.  I was so proud as a parent, that just by living here, we can offer this to her.  What a gift for both of us.  My childhood field trips consisted of sweating in the blazing Arizona sun at some western shootout, nibbling on a sandwich I hoped wasn't spread with salmonella by lunchtime.  (Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of my "wild west" roots, but 5 years in a row?)

  So, this was heaven.  And earth's most beautiful creatures did show their heads. (Check out my video).  We spotted a couple gray whales and several dolphins...but, I was really referring to the kids.  Everything through their eyes is even more remarkable, more stunning and certainly in full living color.  So, the next time I complain about my property taxes, I will tap this boatload of wonderful memories with my daughter...and be glad I dropped anchor in San Diego.

My Little Wal-Mart Greeters...

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   I was standing in a Starbucks today gazing at pastry display, on the cusp of ordering my very high maintenance drink:  tall, soy, sugar-free, vanilla latte.  It's even more embarassing in warmer months when I add "iced" to that order. ( Needless to say, my friends refuse to order it for me.)

   Nonetheless, in the middle of my pre-caffienated fog, something popped into my mind.  Probably because I was about to surprise my kids by picking them up at school.   The President's State of the Union Address pre-empted our 6pm newscast, so I was going in later...hence the caffeine.  I needed to get my second wind.

  So anyway, I'm standing there thinking about how my children greet me.  When I come home from work after the 6pm for my dinner break to see them, it never fails...they run down the hall screaming like it's Mardi Gras:  "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!!!"  Then one of the two jumps on me or hugs me.  (My husband gets the same treatment.)  It's nothing short of awesome.  It makes me feel like I just won an Oscar.

   But it got me thinking today...why and when did we stop doing that for the people we love?  At what age is it no longer appropriate?  How much longer will my kids, age 9 and 7...greet me this way? 

   And I'm as guilty as the next guy.  Sometimes I don't stop unloading the dishwasher or get off the couch when my husband comes home.  That's hardly worthy of who he is and what he means to me. I think I should take a cue from my little Wal-Mart greeters.  They have it right.   And so did my Gramma Isabella...she made every one of her grandchildren feel like a million bucks when they walked in the door.  I think it's time I paid up, paid it forward and most importantly paid more attention when that front door swings open.

 

    

     I recently had a fellow Little League Mom over for dinner.  We got to talking about life and I remarked I spent the weekend "cracking the whip" with the kids and was feeling a little guilty about it.  To explain, let me start with what I did over their Christmas break.  Basically, I let them build forts and pretty much have run of the "loft", which is their tv/playroom at our house.  I didn't tell them to clean up once or straighten up or anything else.  Now, let me just say, as cool as I thought I was being...it may have backfired.

   As a result of all that "coolness"...my house has been a pigsty ever since, with me getting the leading role as "Cinderella."  Well, I had to put a stop to it this weekend.  Mainly, because I couldn't keep up any more and I kept thinking, I can't send them out into the world as slobs accustomed to people waiting on them (another byproduct of me being a working mother.  I wait on them too much)  So, I turned drill sergeant over the weekend and let's just say no one enjoyed it, including me.  My own son even said:  "You scare me when you're mad."  I felt so awful for a minute and then I thought to myself...well actually..."good."

   Now back to my conversation with my Little League Mom.   I told her what my son said, and we got to talking about how we think it's good our children fear us to some degree.  In fact, my husband has said more than once, that while in high school he didn't do something mischevious simply based on the reality "his Dad would kill him."  So...as politically incorrect as this may sound, we think some fear is good.  That being said, we're not talking about intimidation or any kind of emotional abuse whatsoever.  Just a healthy helping of fear, that your parents will disapprove if you do or say something you shouldn't.

   So, I send this question out to the cosmos or world wide web:  Do you think it's better to fear or not to fear your parents?  It's how my generation was raised.  I happen to think respecting your elders and your parents is still very much in fashion...but frankly sometimes, I feel I'm really fighting the tide.  To see what I mean, watch how the kids on "Disney Channel" and "Nickelodeon" talk to their parents sometime...and tell me what kind of example is being set.  It prompts a lot of conversations at my house that start with "If you ever spoke to me like that...."

Stormy Weather For Mommy

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   All week we've been covering the deluge of rain, wind and snow across San Diego.  What I haven't covered is the story that's unfolding around my own daughter, that's proven to be my toughest yet this week.  She's developed a huge anixiety over the fear of flooding.  And much like the rising waters, it's something neither my husband nor I, saw coming.

  It's always tough when your child reacts unexpectedly to something you're not sure how to handle.  Thus far, we just keep reassuring our 7 year old, everything is going to be fine and our house isn't going to flood.  But, with each wave of rain, our progress gets pushed back.  Her teacher is now thinking on it for us.  But my fear is....anxiety is simply a part of her personality, which no parent wants for their child. 

   Hopefully, the fear will dry up alongside with this wet weather....and we'll be back to sunnier skies.  If not, like every Mom, I'm more than willing to weather the storm.  To borrow a line from pop star Rihanna...she "can stand under my umbrella" for as long as she needs to...  stay tuned.

Unsportsmanlike Conduct

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  As I continue to mourn the Chargers playoff loss against the Jets (mainly because they beat themselves and the Jets needn't have shown up), I realize I owe them one.  As painful as it was to watch all the penalties against a team I genuinely love, a few of the offenses served as powerful reminders to my kids about good sportsmanship.

  Take Vincent Jackson.  All season, with the grace and precision of an eagle snatching fish in its talons, he has grabbed pass after pass, turning himself into a pro-bowler, no matter what the official votes say.  Then, after perhaps the catch of the season in the Jets game with just minutes to march down field in the fourth quarter, Jackson makes his most memorable and unfortunate move.  He kicks a challenge flag and costs his team 15 yards for "unsportsmanlike conduct".  It was unbelievable.

  My 9 year old son was puzzled.  "Why did he do that?" he kept repeating over and over.  We really didn't have an answer other than:  "I guess he got mad."  I then seized the opportunity and said:  "Now do you see why we harp on you guys to be good sports?".  I said, "See how bad that looks...and how he hurt his own team by getting angry?". 

   I didn't get much response until a few hours later, when my son, tossing a football in the air in my bedroom said casually, "Why did Vincent Jackson do that?"  I repeated myself and said:  "He just got mad over that call, I guess."  He said, "Wow, I really looked up to him."  I said, "Yeah, me too."

   So, score one for number 83.   I don't think I'll have to harp on my son anymore about being a good sport.  Call it one small victory in the face of a big loss.  Hopefully, Vincent learned from it too.

  Go Chargers!  We'll see ya next season.

 

"Winning Recipes for Losers (Like Me) In the Kitchen"

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   I think the title says it all.  Back in December I appeared on Fox 5 Morning News to spread the gospel of good cooking for people like me.  You know, those of us, who clean toilets with more joy and success, than we do attempting a recipe.  (And by the way, that was the bargain I struck with my Mom growing up:  clean the bathroom instead of peeling potatoes.  We're 100% Irish, so you can imagine all the potatoes.)

   So, in the height of holiday party season, I shared some of the simple, no-lose recipes, my mother has armed me with that never fail.  And I promise, whether I bring them to parties or lay them out on my buffet at home, people always flip over them and compliment me on my culinary brilliance.  Something my husband of 15 years can hardly stomach, considering in the course of our marriage, I've made him a grand total of 4 meals.  (The last one, without the key ingredient.  I kid you not.  We discovered the taste of cardboard that night, while dining on that gem.)

   Nonetheless, here they are.  An appetizer, a side dish...and a killer dessert.

   The appetizer:  Pomegranate Dip: 

          2 Pomegranates seeded, no rind...8 oz sour cream, 8oz cream cheese (softened, let sit for about an hour).  1/4 tsp lemon juice, sprinkle sugar to taste (a little over a teaspoon).  Mix all ingredients together and serve with Wheat Thins "Harvest Five Grain Crackers" or cracker of choice.

 

   Poppy Seed Salad:

          I actually learned this one from Chef Scott Tompkins from Scottsdale, Arizona and adopted it as my own.  If you don't like vegetables, this will change your mind.   Simply mix 1 cup mayo, a 1/2 cup white wine vinegar, a quarter cup of sugar or to taste and 2 tablespoons poppy seeds.  This is your dressing.  In a separate bowl, cut up one head of broccoli and one head of cauliflower, with about half a red onion chopped up.    Poor the dressing over the top and toss.  I like to let mine sit for at least an hour before serving.  Then as a leftover, it's awesome over cold pasta.

 

   Julia's Chocolate Ice Cream Dessert:

     Crush vanilla wafers in a zip lock bag, I usually use half to a whole box.  Then mix it with a 1/2 stick of melted butter.  This will be your bottom crust or layer.  Put it in the bottom of the cake pan and freeze.  Once frozen, pour 1 gallon of melted Vanilla ice cream and spread as the next layer.  Freeze.  The next layer is a semi-melted jar of "Dove" fudge.  Spread over the frozen ice cream and then put it back in the freezer.  Once that layer is frozen, take a tub of "Cool Whip" and spread over the top.  Freeze.

   Once you have all your layers frozen, you can top with walnuts or leftover pieces of the vanilla wafer crust.  It's delish!

 

   Hope you enjoy these as much as my guests have over the years.  They truly are as easy as it gets.  I hate to cook.  That's why I "make"....you know, the ole assembly required approach.  And all Moms know how to do that!!!

 

 

 

A Mother's New Year's Resolution

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Since becoming a mother 9 years ago, it's become habit that come January 1st, I pledge to "be a better mom".  And as my children age, the challenge only grows with them and more complicated, because now they remember everything I say and do.  (Though they still don't hear me when I yell at them to pick up their clothes, I mean really?)

So for 2010...here are my goals:

1)  Take better care of my own health, so I'm not run down when it gets to the weekends.  This is a biggy for me.  It means eating right and consistent workouts.  Stay tuned.

2)  Improve our families' nutrition.  Working nights makes it a huge challenge come dinner time, but I got a slow cooker for Christmas.  Let's see "when" I use it first...any wagers?

3)  Take each of them individually on their own special outing with me.  And my husband do the same.  My wise girlfriend once told me, when you get your children alone with you, you discover new things about them.  I'd like to create those memories.

4)  Continue to make my marriage a happy one.  I realize, it's the best gift I can ever give them.  And after celebrating 15 years New Year's Eve...we look toward "20" now with hope and the knowledge it'll take a lot of work to get there.  (I think I should get combat pay personally.)

  That's it for now.  I'm sure they'll be some major tweaking.  But, I say this with ever fiber of my being.  My family is my entourage, my posse and my favorite peeps on the planet. 

Here's to 2010.  Happy New Year to you all.