I recently had a fellow Little League Mom over for dinner. We got to talking about life and I remarked I spent the weekend "cracking the whip" with the kids and was feeling a little guilty about it. To explain, let me start with what I did over their Christmas break. Basically, I let them build forts and pretty much have run of the "loft", which is their tv/playroom at our house. I didn't tell them to clean up once or straighten up or anything else. Now, let me just say, as cool as I thought I was being...it may have backfired.
As a result of all that "coolness"...my house has been a pigsty ever since, with me getting the leading role as "Cinderella." Well, I had to put a stop to it this weekend. Mainly, because I couldn't keep up any more and I kept thinking, I can't send them out into the world as slobs accustomed to people waiting on them (another byproduct of me being a working mother. I wait on them too much) So, I turned drill sergeant over the weekend and let's just say no one enjoyed it, including me. My own son even said: "You scare me when you're mad." I felt so awful for a minute and then I thought to myself...well actually..."good."
Now back to my conversation with my Little League Mom. I told her what my son said, and we got to talking about how we think it's good our children fear us to some degree. In fact, my husband has said more than once, that while in high school he didn't do something mischevious simply based on the reality "his Dad would kill him." So...as politically incorrect as this may sound, we think some fear is good. That being said, we're not talking about intimidation or any kind of emotional abuse whatsoever. Just a healthy helping of fear, that your parents will disapprove if you do or say something you shouldn't.
So, I send this question out to the cosmos or world wide web: Do you think it's better to fear or not to fear your parents? It's how my generation was raised. I happen to think respecting your elders and your parents is still very much in fashion...but frankly sometimes, I feel I'm really fighting the tide. To see what I mean, watch how the kids on "Disney Channel" and "Nickelodeon" talk to their parents sometime...and tell me what kind of example is being set. It prompts a lot of conversations at my house that start with "If you ever spoke to me like that...."
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