Looking at Life: The Whole

As she grew, she struggled to speak her truth in an environment where, while her efforts resonated in her own heart, they were contrary to those around her. She saw opportunities and created her own path among the possibilities, many of which never came to fruition, while her loved ones chose a comfortable roadway long-since paved by others.

They had regular jobs, a healthy bank account, a 401k, and a home. She had her dreams, her beliefs, her life experiences well beyond theirs, but little else to tangibly show for her heart, her passion, her efforts, her time in this world.

The years went by, and the more they achieved, it seemed the less she had in comparison. They reached out in the way they understood and tried to be helpful by presenting logical arguments why their way was the right way, and hers was not; by laying out the simplicity and the security of their lives, and pointing out their perception of what her life lacked. She found her words in reply to have no sound, for they rang hollow, even - at times - to herself. She felt lost.

In despair, in comparison, their words made her feel less of a woman than she thought herself to be even if that was not their intention, and soon she began sinking into a deep hole, one that seemed to have no way out. to her, the choice seemed a loss either way: be true to herself and continue a life of pain and struggle, but unwilling to give up on what she knew of her heart, or be untrue to herself and feel dead on the inside while pretending and living their life on the outside.

Sitting in her dark hole, she began to cry, the pain of so many years upon her, the hopelessness of the situation surrounding her. The tears flowed and flowed as her heart cried out and demanded to be heard. And soon, an amazing miracle happened. Her tears began to fill the hole. By releasing her pain and surrendering her need to control it or define herself by it, she was lifted up. The tears continued to flow and the waters of the experiences of her life carried her higher, until finally she found herself standing beside what was once her hole, but was now what made her whole - her salvation. She realized her life was not what put her down into the darkness, it was her perception of her life. And she then realized that she was who she was because of her experiences, not in spite of them.

Sometimes, from the depths of our despair comes the greatest connectivity to, and understanding of, self, and from that moment on, while we may have been alive before, we begin to truly live.

If you are going through a tough time right now, trust self; surrender your pain; and know with absolute certainty that what will come from embracing and understanding the growth of each challenge will ultimately raise you to a greater understanding of self.