October 2009 Archives

Looking at Life: Autumn

on October 31, 2009 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Autumn is one of my favorite times of year. Perhaps it is because I am a September baby, or maybe it is because growing up in the northeast, I was weaned on the sights, sounds, and smells of the fall season:

I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of baked apples, and I am immediately transported to the childhood comfort of a warm dessert and cold glass of milk at the end of a long afternoon spent playing outdoors. I hear the scratch, scratch, scratching of a metal rake against the ground capturing red and gold crinkly leaves into a huge pile, and relive its most important function - in my young eyes, anyway - to serve as the landing place for my repeated joyful leaps into the air. Suddenly, it is normal to throw on a sweater or light jacket, perhaps even a pair of gloves or boots, when going outdoors. and though many people I know prefer the longer, bright days of summer, as for me, I love the feeling of nestling inside, surrounded by twilight and then darkness, as dinner is on the table.

Earlier this week I had a long walk with our dog, Princess, and took in the energy of the changing season. Ahead of me on the sidewalk I watched as a group of six young children accompanied by two young women, obviously from a daycare home, walked, skipped, and ran in circles. Their animated voices and giggles rose on the slight breeze that playfully blew leaves at their feet. As I turned to head home, an older couple strolled toward me, hand-in-hand. The gentleman had a leather jacket and Yankees cap on; the lady, a large-plaid sweater and crocheted beret, complete with a pompom. They didn't say a word, but their contented smiles said it all as we passed one another, nodding in greeting.

It was a beautiful day, walking Princess, and I could not help but be reminded that in life there is a rhythm and cycle whose cadence seems to be as carefully orchestrated as the swirling leaves that are whisked off the trees by a blustery gust of wind on an autumn day. There is beauty in every step of our lives if we would but take the time to look; to gain insight by bearing witness to the perspective of others - young and old.

So, do not lament for the loss of the warmth of summer or brace yourself for the coldness of winter during these autumn months, but enjoy the beauty, the harmony, of the transition. Autumn is like life, for it is the journey - not the destination -

That can provide the greatest joy.

Intuitively yours,
Nan O'Brien

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

How Do I Herd The Black Sheep In My Family?

Nan O’Brien

on October 30, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

My sister, Sonya, is weighing heavily on my heart. She alienated herself from the entire family except me and now she has left me too. I don't understand what is going on with her and I am HOPING that you can tell me that she is ok. I am so afraid that she isn't.

Thank you so much Nan for your time,

Christie

Dear Christie,

Your sister was the sibling who was always "different" in your house. Even though I feel your home was filled with love, she felt unloved. While the rest of the family seemed to see the glass half full, she lived in a world of not only half empty, but worried the container would drain away on its own. She was/is fearful, angry, and resentful, without any of you really understanding why.

Growing up, you were easier for her to relate to because you always tried to be the referee in the house, making the peace between parents and siblings and/or siblings and siblings. Your non-confrontational manner made you a safe person for Sonja to allow in, to the degree Sonya could allow anyone in at all. She is very, very guarded in her ability to emotionally connect.

This emotional wall stems from a life lesson that includes trust and abandonment. The trust component is not only about trusting others, but trusting self. Because your family is close and well-meaning, there can be times when it is also overbearing. Sonya does not have the skill set to maintain her own identity or be sure she is making her own decisions when everyone continues to try to "help" her, putting aside for the moment that she didn't ask for the help.

The best thing you can do right now is leave her alone. Sonya needs to figure some things out on her own right now, and once she does, she will be grateful that she can still come to you. Let her know the door is open, but don't try to yank her through it! Just remember to let her come to you on her terms, not yours or the family's, if you want to create an equal, healthy relationship.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: We choose the significant people in our lives, including our parents and siblings. We do so for one of two reasons. One, we have much to share with that soul and we choose to be together in our lifetime through a family relation. Two, but for the fact we were related by family or blood, we'd never have anything to do with that person and we have something to work out. In this situation, we bind ourselves to one another for a lifetime to ensure we have plenty of time to figure things out!

It can quickly become complicated within a family when the reasons we are bound are both for the pleasure and for the resolution of an issue. Family members align according to those who want to be together and those who need to be together. This disparity accounts for accusations (real or imagined) of favoritism among parents and children, or even between brothers and sisters. We gravitate toward those who share our energy and we clash with those who don't. We try to explain the differences through genetics or environment, but the major reason will be the life path/life lesson of those who choose to journey together.

Sometimes just knowing that there is a reason we do/do not connect can give us patience when dealing within a family, especially when we do not get along with (or do not understand) a family member. Respect for - and acceptance of - the energetic differences are powerful tools to bridge the gaps and build understanding, all toward achieving the soul's life goal to learn and grow from the experience of journeying together.

I'll save what happens when only one soul honors his/her contract for another day. :-)

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

The Party You Are Trying To Reach Is Unavailable; Please Try Again Later.

Nan O’Brien

on October 28, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dear Nan,

Two years ago, my sister-in-law's 21-year old son was killed in a tragic car accident. We were not very close, really just got together at family cookouts and holidays. I am not very close with his mom either.

About two weeks after he passed he visited me in my dreams. In the dream visit, he was about eight years old. He and I were in a mall. He went into a photo booth and insisted I take his photo and he kept pulling on his ear. I got the message that he wanted me to tell his mom that he was OK and had his ear back. Nan - he lost one of his ears in the accident! It was very real - and then I woke up.

I called his mom the next day to describe my dream visit and I felt badly because she did not receive the news very well. She said she just could not believe that her son would come to me instead of her.

Did I do the right thing calling her? And, why did he come to me instead of her?

Thanks, Nan,

Donna

Dear Donna,

I believe you that your nephew came and visited you - and it would not surprise me if he came again. You are very intuitive and open, so it is easier to reach you than to connect to his mother. This is one of the reasons he chose you and not her. She would have thought it was just a dream; you knew the difference between a dream and a visit.

I also can sense that his mother is still very guilt-ridden and full of regret over the accident, as they had had some words shortly before his accident. They had somewhat made up by the time he passed, but there was still tension between them. He does not want her to feel this way, as he can admit from Spirit that she was actually right and he was wrong.

The message about his ear being ok is particularly important as well, since his mother has replayed the accident over and over in her head for the last two years, and the horror that led to his losing his ear is like a knife through her heart. He wants her to know he did not suffer in the accident. God lifted him out before the impact and he witnessed what happened from being outside his body vs. inside. She needs to know that, too.

Even though your husband's sister did not appear to have received the news well, I do think her heart rang true when you shared your news. At her stage of grief, she could not give you what you would have liked, but I can assure you that you did make a positive difference. You honored the role of messenger; what happens from there is up to her.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint:When a loved one dies, our pain can act as ear plugs and blinders, keeping us from hearing and seeing - even that which would help us through our loss. The pain can overwhelm us; so, we become de-sensitized to what is around us in order to function and to survive. The grief process is thus about awakening from the numbness. It is a lonely and singular journey, dictated by our life lessons; life energies; and primarily, our life choices.

Our loved ones in Spirit can see how we are literally drowning in our sorrow and reach out to help. They interject their life force into our physical world to let us know they are there in many ways. They blink lights. They leave pennies. They move familiar objects. They tilt or push over photographs. They visit us in the dream state. On and on, they let us know they are alive and well, just merely in a different form. But in order for us to elicit any comfort from these efforts, we need to recognize them for what they are.

If a relative or loved one cannot allow the message to come through because his or her pain and grief is so great, the loved one in Spirit will reach out to someone who is a bit removed from the situation, who can hear the message, such as Donna's nephew (above). It is not that he chose to bypass his mother for a distant aunt; it is that he could not reach his mother through the front door, so he came in the back door via his aunt. Instead of resenting the messenger in this situation, the focus needs to be the message.

Sometimes, the willingness to hear and see beyond the five senses, while unfamiliar and even a bit scary, is the quickest way to move toward healing and peace. Our loved ones want to help us - but they can only help those who help themselves.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

My Mom Passed And The Rest Of My Family Makes Me Feel Like I'm An Orphan

Nan O’Brien

on October 26, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

My mother passed away seven years ago and my elderly dad now lives with my sister in another state. Ever since my mom died, it feels like I am an outsider in my own family. On the phone, my dad talks on and on about my sister and her family, but never asks about me or mine. They plan family occasions on holidays and I hear about it afterwards. Now, my dad is turning 80 and when I spoke to my sister about co-hosting a party for him, she informed me she had already made all of the arrangements and I should be getting my invitation in the mail soon and she hoped I could attend.

It was bad enough losing my mom, but now I feel like I have lost my entire family, too. I didn't realize how much my mom was the one who kept me connected. How does she feel about the situation? What should I do?

Thanks, Nan,

Erika

Dear Erika,

We choose our parents, so you chose both your mom and your dad, but the reasons are different. You journeyed with your mom to enjoy this lifetime together, I can feel the intense friendship between you that is beyond mother/daughter. You and your dad, your sister, are making the journey to work through some issues. The reverse reasons are why your sister came in, creating a spiritual diamond of connections. That's not to say that your mom didn't love your sister or that your dad doesn't love you; don't hear that. But energetically, there does seem to be a large divide in the family, a choice made by all of you in this dance we call life.

Your mom is aware of what has transpired and while I am sure it is difficult to watch you in emotional distress, she knows that ultimately her leaving first will propel you to have to deal with the issues between you, your father, and your sister. By her stepping away, you must now choose to embrace the lessons or run from them. This is always your choice, but one is the more right choice than the other, and I'm sure you know which that is. ;)

Try not to take the comments and slights too personally, and recognize that regardless of how they act toward you, you must act with self-integrity. Do not allow their negativity or the feelings of negativity that are prompted by their actions to rob you of the spiritual opportunity to grow or gain in your understanding and life lessons.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint:Soul contracts within families can be tricky. We often feel closer to one parent or another; one sibling or another. Yet, we choose our families and there are only two reasons we do so: To enjoy or to resolve. Once we recognize that the connections we have within a family are driven by soul choice and energetic similarity, it takes the sting away from what can appear to be favoritism.

For example, if I share a life lesson with someone, I will feel more at ease around that person, our energies will be harmonious. Familiarity then, even if it is on a soul level, lends itself to comfort. The reverse is also true. When the lessons and/or energies are different, there is a dissonance on a soul level that is easy to feel, but hard to pinpoint or describe. When the balance shifts in a family dynamic, such as with Erika's mom passing, the discord can increase - but, so does the motivation to work through the uncomfortableness.

If you find yourself in the same position as Erika, the best thing you can do for yourself is to embrace the uncomfortableness. Recognize the possibilities for growth, but acknowledge the self-imposed limitations of others to do the same. In short, if you take the spiritual high road, you will have done your soul's part. It is then up to the rest of the family members to choose to embrace their growth or not, but ultimately you cannot take ownership or responsibility for their willingness to do so.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/24/09

Nan O’Brien

on October 25, 2009 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Click on the links below to listen to Nan's online podcast stream.

1st Hour 9pm - 10pm EDT 2nd Hour 10pm - 11pm EDT 3rd Hour 11pm - 12am EDT

Looking at Life: Split Second

Nan O’Brien

on October 24, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday night after midnight was very dark along the two-lane roads of rural Vermont. The moon was only a sliver and there were no street lights to guide the way. My husband Tom and I were returning from an event. I was driving, and I turned my high beams off as a car approached from the opposite direction.

Shortly up ahead, there was a ninety degree turn up a hill and to the left. Just as I started to accelerate to drive up the steep incline, I heard - the way I hear things - "Turn on your brights!" and as I did so, I was startled to see a man dressed in black from head-to-toe suddenly dart out in front of our car, crossing the road only a few feet in front of us! I jammed on the brakes while simultaneously pounding the horn and barely missed hitting him! Were it not for my being told to turn on the brights, I have no doubt I would have. In my rear view mirror, I caught a glimpse of him sprinting away across an open field.

Adrenaline rushed through my body, and I wanted to sob, coming so close to what surely would have been the end of the man's life. There was no shoulder on the road and I could not safely stop driving, so I continued on, driving well below the posted speed limit. Tom spoke softly, supporting me, until we came to a closed gas station, where I pulled off and climbed out of the car for some much-needed fresh air.

The night air was crisp and still in a way that only comes in the middle of the night. I looked up to the darkened sky and took in the beauty of the stars so brilliant in the country, away from the glare of city lights. Breathing in the night air calmed my soul and cleared my head. "Nothing had changed," I thought. My heart started to settle into its normal rhythm as I reminded myself over and over that everything was fine; no one had been hurt.

But I struggled to silence the thoughts of what could have been as I stood quietly in the darkness. How many times, I wondered, did events - a result of someone else's free will/free choice, or even our own - in a blink of an eye forever change our lives? How many of us live with the ache of wishing that we could go back to that split second that everything changed, and do it again differently? Or wonder incessantly why our loved ones chose what they did?

Standing by the car that night, I realized that the feelings which result from such thoughts create a burden that only grows heavier with time. The truth is, there will be times in your life that you will fervently wish for a "do over," such feelings are a part of the imperfection of our souls; but it will never be right action to compound the darkness of a poor choice with the darkness of guilt and regret.

While we cannot change past events, we can change how we see them. We must choose acceptance over frustration; forgiveness over anger; grace over guilt. We must learn to look forward with compassion for others and for ourselves, not backwards with regret.

It's not easy. Our human nature, our natural inclination to beat ourselves up is ingrained in us; it is a natural choice for many of us. But looking forward is also a choice. Relying on the strength of God's love and light will lead you from any darkness - the true "bright lights" you need as you travel along the country roads of your life.

Intuitively yours,
Nan O'Brien

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

Seven Degrees Of Education

Nan O’Brien

on October 23, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

I listen to your radio show every Friday morning and only miss the beginning in order to deliver my grandson to the school bus.

I have been debating for months if not a year to contact you about my career. I have to make a decision very soon about the direction of my career as a special educator or a special education administrator. I love and thrive with kids and they are so special to me, but I also have some influence where I am and I want to know where you see me going in the future.

Thank you so much,

Cheryl

Dear Cheryl,

First, thanks so much for your kind words! I enjoy the radio and am glad you do, too! J

Your career opportunities may appear to be in conflict, but in reality they are harmonious. The end result is always going to be what is best for the children. If you teach one-on-one, you will have a direct positive influence on those with whom you personally interact. If you pursue the administrative route, you will still have a teaching role in terms of mentoring, guiding, and supporting special educators in the classroom, who in turn will make a difference one-on-one. So, the good news is, there is truly no down side to either opportunity. This is clearly a "free will/free choice" question.

That said, the energy around this question reminds me of the "feed me a fish/teach me to fish" parable. Your reach, your influence to make a difference - which is your true motivation for entering this profession - is broader and farther reaching when you are in a position to share your considerable knowledge and expertise with other educators, creating a ripple effect.

There is an additional component to the choice to pursue the educational administrator route that is an important part of the decision, as well as an integral part of your energy. You need to write, Cheryl! You need to quantify your techniques and share your anecdotal evidence of how the techniques work. Think workshops, conferences, etc., and not only in your own backyard, but also on a broader scale. Ultimately, this will be the arena that will be your professional home. It will satisfy your need to contribute and touch the lives of those who need you and what you have to offer. The first step on that journey is the role of administrator.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint:
Teaching is one of the most noble professions a person can embrace. Yet often, souls define "teaching" as being in a classroom, not realizing that the energetic lesson attached to being a natural born teacher is simply to facilitate the exchange of information through communication. When you impart information to others in a way that that information can be heard and utilized, you are teaching. When you offer thoughts or insights you have experienced to others for their use and understanding, you are teaching.

Stepping back from the traditional characterization of teaching as being in a classroom, and enlarging it to mean seeing oneself as a communication grid, routing information to where it is needed and can be used, we can see that many people who have the urge to teach can find spiritual congruency with that energy in various career manifestations that do not necessarily involve being in a classroom. Writing is often a component of this energetic life lesson.

Remember that when contemplating a career decision, the core energetic gifts are merely the starting point. Do not become attached to the perception of what that gift should be or how it should be used; instead, focus on the talents, the abilities, and let the opportunities for using those gifts come to you.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

He's Gone And My New Companion Is Guilt

Nan O’Brien

on October 21, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

My husband Joe and I were married for 23 wonderful years. He was a smoker and died of lung cancer several years ago. He ended up in hospice at the end. I stayed with him all the time but one night I was so tired I went home for a good night's sleep. He died while I was gone. I am angry at him for smoking and feel guilty all at the same time and I can't stop being mad at myself for leaving him that one night. Is he mad at me that he died alone?

Thank you,

Roberta

Dear Roberta,

First, I am sorry for your loss and I understand your anger. Addictions, whether smoking, alcohol, drugs, or compulsions, are challenges for both the person who has it and the person who lives with the person who has it! The guilt you are feeling is also very common. I speak with people almost everyday who have gone through a similar situation.

I am hearing several things Joe wants you to know. First, please know that he is absolutely fine. He is not angry with you. He has regret for the actions that cut your soul contract shorter than it was supposed to be and wants to take ownership for his addiction now, as he was unable to admit or take responsibility for it when he was in physicality. Joe's failure and refusal to address his smoking problem (which he is telling me continued even after his diagnosis) was rooted in fear, which is ironic since it was ignoring the problem that caused his fears to come true, not his actual addiction. The irony is not lost on him in Spirit as he reviews his life. He acknowledges your anger and seeks your forgiveness.

Secondly, souls such as your husband who pass from illness choose the time they depart this world. He understood you needed your rest. He did not want you to bear witness to his actual passing, as he knew it would be very traumatic for you. You were so attentive, so loving, and he appreciates your telling him it was ok to go. He also hopes you understand that when you left and told him you would be back in the morning, he knew he could stop holding on. You showed you were willing to take care of yourself, and that's when he knew you would be ok.

The process of grief is unique to everyone, so take your time to process through it at your own pace. But please, Roberta, do not complicate the process by feeling guilty. You did the right thing, and I can assure you he knows that.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: Perhaps one of the most challenging situations we can face is the loss of a loved one. Any issues that are unresolved would seem to remain unresolved because of the distance death seems to create, and yet this is not true. Our loved ones continue to be a part of our daily lives, even if they do so from a different perspective. There is no negativity in Spirit; they are not angry at us. The closest feeling to negativity is guilt and/or regret, such as Joe has, and they alway want to address this feeling with us from Spirit.

Guilt about who was with a loved one - and who was not - when he/she passed is often a source of great pain for those of us left behind, yet as souls we choose the time we depart (unless the death is due to the mechanism of free will/free choice, which I'll talk about in another blog). There is no need to feel guilty. If Joe had thought it would be good for Roberta to be by his side as he crossed over, he would have waited until morning to do so.

Sometimes, it is the perspective of death that can give us the greatest comfort. Our loved ones are not gone, not some place far away, they are close; they are with us. It is only the way in which they are with us that we need to understand. Death is not a brick wall that separates us, it is a two-way mirror that sometimes obscures our view.

In coming months, I will talk more about death, dying, and communicating. For now, those of you who have carried a mantle of guilt about not being with someone who died as Roberta has, please know it is time to set it down. The peace you seek is within and is based on understanding and perspective of life, not out of reach in the clutches of what appears to be the finality of death.

Until tomorrow, I am,

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about my work or my nationally-syndicated radio show, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

Just When You Think Things Can't Get Any Worse...

Nan O’Brien

on October 19, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

Back in September of last year, my life was turned completely upside down - a friend of mine passed away, and so I was unemployed after taking care of him. Then I received an eviction notice for my apartment. I had to rush around trying to get a job and move at the same time. Next, I had problems with my relationship and it ended last week. Will things ever get better for me?

Hopefully,

Walter

Dear Walter,

Wow, what a challenging time! But one thing that immediately jumped at me about your energy is that every aspect of your life - your livelihood, your home, your relationships - all came to an end at the same time. This is significant, in that you are clearly being blocked energetically from moving forward with your life as it was.

You need to pay attention to the blocks, and not see what has happened as tragic or based in loss. Odd as it may sound, I actually want you to celebrate these endings, as they likewise signify the opportunity for beginnings! Think about it: Your friend, who I'm hearing held on and rallied several times in the past year, is finally at peace. You are not permanently tied to a job, a place to live, or a relationship.

This is the time for you to make your move, both physically and energetically. The southwestern part of the country is in your energy - Tucson in particular - and I would like you to investigate opportunities in that area for work. My sense is that you will be working with your hands, something you have always enjoyed but never embraced as a career.

Remember, Walter - though it may sound trite, it is true: Happiness is a choice. And part of that happiness is rooted in the faith that all things are truly for a reason!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: Many of us have had trying times like Walter is experiencing. How often as we try to move forward in life with what we want, we find ourselves feeling thwarted, even picked on by some unseen/unknown energetic bully. I remember saying to my mother during the years I struggled as a single mom of four children, "I feel like I'm being punished and I don't know what I did." Can you relate? And yet, we keep plodding along, making the same choices that haven't worked for us before, all the while wondering why the outcome isn't any different.

But if we would pay attention to the blocks that prevent us from moving forward in any one direction, we would see that we are actually being gently guided by the Universe away from what doesn't work and toward what is the most right for us and what we need, even if that isn't necessarily what we think we need - or even what we think we want! We discover that where we end up is exactly where we need to be.

So, right now, if you feel you are being prevented from having something in your life, if you feel you are encountering blocks, take a few moments to consider that what you want may not be what honors your highest and greatest good. Take a few moments to step back and see things from a broader perspective - that of opportunity, of guidance, of recognizing the beginnings that always result from endings.

The lesson of paying attention to the blocks can move you forward very quickly, once you are willing to embrace the open doors instead of beating your head against the locked ones!

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about my work or my nationally-syndicated radio show, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/17/09

Nan O’Brien

on October 18, 2009 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Click on the links below to listen to Nan's online podcast stream.

1st Hour 9pm - 10pm EDT 2nd Hour 10pm - 11pm EDT 3rd Hour 11pm - 12am EDT

Looking at Life: Red Light, Green Light

Nan O’Brien

on October 17, 2009 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Red Light,Green Light.jpg

It had been a busy day and it was already late afternoon. I was on my way to a private event in a remote town nestled in the mountains. I felt layers of stress peel away from my shoulders as the miles peeled away under the wheels of the car. The sun had begun its descent in the sky and I rolled down the windows, breathing in the first hint of Spring already lingering in the air.

I glanced at my watch and felt the tension return. Time was running short. I gripped the steering wheel tightly and maneuvered the car along the winding, curving, two-lane road leading to my destination. Suddenly, the stretches of green fields and low-hanging trees gave way to old, Victorian-style homes. Looking ahead, I could see that there was one lone red-light at a crossroads a few hundred feet away. It had been green when I had slowed from 55 to 25, but as I came closer I winced, as the light turned to a deep, no-way-you-could-ignore-it red.

There were no cars coming in either direction and I eased up to the front position at the red-light, willing it to change quickly. No such luck. While waiting, I absentmindedly turned my head in the direction of the passenger's door and through the side window I noticed an antique store on the corner. It had row upon row of ticking clocks, many with wildly-swinging pendulums. Some of them appeared older than others, their faces containing Roman Numerals. A few digital clocks brashly stood out and a cuckoo clock had been carefully placed on a pedestal.

I swung my attention out the driver's window and watched as a young mother sitting at an outdoor cafe table smiled and giggled with her toddler, who was swaddled in pink from head-to-toe. An older couple walking their dog approached the two. As the little girl gleefully reached her hand for the dog, it leaned forward and licked her face, and I couldn't help but laugh along with them all at the little girl's squeal of delight.

Across the street in front of me, there was a beautiful park and I watched as a young boy studiously concentrated on the basketball goal that loomed far over his head. He focused on making the foul shot and succeeded at least half the time. While watching the young boy's determination, my attention was suddenly caught by the changing light from red to green.

As I drove the final few miles to my event, I reflected on what I would have missed if the green light had held. Oftentimes we are in such a hurry! We pray for things to go easier, for circumstances not to slow us down or deter us, let alone stop us; we pray for the green light. But it is oftentimes the blocks, the red-light of life, that give us the greatest opportunities, the greatest joys, if we would but embrace the block and look at what's around us.

So, as you go through your week, pay attention to those times you feel pressured or under the gun. And when life gives you a red-light, look for the timeless treasure; the opportunity to laugh; and the focused determination that all can be found at the intersection where you and your life ultimately meet.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about my work or my nationally-syndicated radio show, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

Please Sign On The Dotted Line

Nan O’Brien

on October 16, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

I am just curious about my future...right now it looks pretty glum. I am in love with someone who is in another relationship but I know his heart is longing for me but he is not the type of guy to cheat on or hurt his current girlfriend by leaving her. Do you see his current relationship as a lasting one or is there a chance for us in the future? His name is Aaron.

Thank you,

Julie

Dear Julie,

Love can be confusing, but sometimes what is more confusing is how we respond to it! Step back a minute, Julie, and look at your situation: You are in love with a guy who is in a relationship with someone else, who you believe wants you but is too "honorable" to leave the girlfriend he has. From every vantage point - intuitively, emotionally, even logically! - the only answer is - run, don't walk, from Aaron!

While I can see that there is a soul contract between you and Aaron, he is stepping away from his soul obligation to you. The situation now shifts and becomes an issue of boundaries for you. Specifically, your obligation to self to choose you in this situation. You need to learn how to say "no" to an emotional arrangement where you are not the priority.

By honoring self in this situation, you will allow the right person to come in. If you hold onto the possibility that Aaron will come around, you will create an energetic barrier that will prevent anyone else coming into your energy. The bottom line is, you deserve more! Don't settle for less than you deserve.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: A basic spiritual tenet is that it is never right action to take ownership and responsibility for someone else's life lessons. Doing so prevents you from embracing yours.

The pull that Julie feels toward Aaron is her soul trying to honor the commitment she and Aaron made for this lifetime. It is hard to resist a soul's urging to do so. Her soul knows they had a plan, but while she is doing her part, he is not doing his.

If someone else uses his or her free will and free choice to walk away from a soul contract, then the contract is broken. Two laws of the Universe then kick in: The person who commits the harm answers for it; the person who is harmed is taken care of, in some way. For example, Aaron may never find the love he could have had with Julie. Julie, on the other hand, will find love if she is willing to accept that Aaron has chosen to step back from his soul's obligation to her.

This readjustment of soul contracts happens often in our world, as we both use and abuse the gift of free will and free choice. But rest assured, ultimately the outcome is assured if we allow the Universe to right itself when we do not choose what honors our highest and greatest good. The trust that there is a spiritual safety net can go a long way toward reducing our angst when life does not seem to be going how we had thought!

Until tomorrow, I am,

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about my work or my nationally-syndicated radio show, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

I Chose To Leave, So Why Do I Feel Lost?

Nan O’Brien

on October 14, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Dear Nan,

I stopped dating my boyfriend/best friend (Stan) almost a year ago, and discontinued verbal and email contact within the last month. Even though I've done my best to create distance and have a formal ending to this, so that we can both move on with our own independent lives, I feel lost and feel emotionally tethered to this person. How do I cut this last invisible, abstract tie? What is your feeling or intuition about this?

Thank you for your time.

Amy

Dear Amy,

I understand you feel you have been broken up a year, but in reality, it is only a month since you have been faced with the process of grieving this loss in your life. So, the first thing I want you to recognize is that feeling "lost" at this point is pretty normal!

You have completion in your energy, which is contributing to your feeling of wanting to "wrap things up" emotionally, to have it done and over. Part of the completion lesson is the journey/destination issue. Unfortunately, there is no shortcutting the emotional process of grieving the loss of a relationship.

The "cutting [of] this last invisible, abtract tie" is found in the process of letting go, and not one of amputating the connection. It will take what it takes! But know that there's nothing to keep it from happening. Your free will and free choice - meaning the willingness to feel the pain, feel the loss, and process through the break-up instead of merely walking away from the relationship - is totally up to you.

This situation can yield tremendous growth for you, but embracing the journey vs. focusing on the destination can be challenging for someone with completion as a life lesson!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: With completion as a life lesson, the natural reaction to a situation is to create scenarios of outcomes and to respond to the scenarios, not to the facts. We think in terms of "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" and from that expectation, we form opinions and/or action plans that are based on a phantom belief. The expectation then leads to disappointment, regardless of the actual outcome. We create stress or pain in our lives by failing to live up to a belief or outcome we have created. We focus on the finish line - or, our version of the finish line - and not the journey along the way.

Do you find you have unexpected situations come into your life or - like Amy - have you encountered a situation which demands focusing on the process and not the end result? This indicates a completion lesson. Completion can be a very positive energy when turned toward getting things done, as long as you don't get too caught up in the destination and neglect the journey!

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about my work or my nationally-syndicated radio show, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

May The (Sales) Force Be With You!

Nan O’Brien

on October 12, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

My husband Fred has worked as part of the sales force for the same company for more than 25 years and recently it got bought by another company. Will he be ok or should he start putting together a resume?

Sincerely,

Deidre

Dear Deidre,

Even in the best of economic times, the prospect of losing one's job due to a takeover is scary! But the worst thing you and Fred can do is panic or to interject fear into an already volatile situation energetically.

My sense of your husband Fred is that he has been a valuable asset to this company, but he has not been paid commensurate with his actions. He is responsible for bringing in the majority of the revenue into the company, but it is the mismanagement of the revenue that has led to the company's downfall.

I would not prepare the resume. Quite the contrary, I would be excited at the opportunities and possibilities that will open up for him in the newly structured work environment. It's time for him to receive compensation equal to his efforts, and the new management will offer him this opportunity.

A key component to Fred's success in the new company will be his ability to resist comparing old and new, and to stay above the political gossiping a takeover breeds. He will be sought out by the new management team to take a bigger leadership role during the transition and beyond.

Celebrate the change!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: The challenges in the economy have forced many companies to survive by taking action via mergers and/or buy-outs, and frequently there seems to be a bloodbath in the wake of such actions. The new management team often does not conduct business the same as the old, but this is understandable from a business perspective. Think about it! The old management practices did not create a healthy company, or else it would not have been bought out in the first place. This objective understanding can help assuage the understandable emotional reactions when the new team comes in and begins changing personnel, policy, and procedure.

Energetically, the relationship of a company is not so different than the relationships we have personally. The life force of the company is fueled by honesty, integrity, respect, and truth. Employees need to feel appreciated just as we need to feel appreciated in our personal lives. Balance is also a key component of a healthy work relationship, as it is in our home lives. The intensity in an office environment cannot remain at crisis level without cracks starting to negatively impact its functioning. This is parallel to the dynamics in our personal relationships - we cannot sustain a constant high level of stress without it taking a toll on the relationship.

With personal associations, there are times that "breaking up" ends up being the best thing that ever happened to us, as it provides the necessary room to move toward a healthier situation. In our work environments, the same is true. Mergers, takeovers, and re-structuring can bring a new excitement into a company, energizing its life force. This change is seldom easy to embrace, the life force of a company is as resistant to change as we are as souls. But if we step back and allow change to bring opportunity and growth, the outcome can be positive.

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/10/09

Nan O’Brien

on October 11, 2009 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Click on the links below to listen to Nan's online podcast stream.

1st Hour 9pm - 10pm EDT 2nd Hour 10pm - 11pm EDT 3rd Hour 11pm - 12am EDT

Looking at Life: Slings and Arrows

Nan O’Brien

on October 10, 2009 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

No matter how much we care about our family, our friends, there are times that the relationship you would never expect to have a problem, does; and we become separated from our loved ones by a difference of opinion or slip of the tongue as definitively as if we were two pieces of land on opposite sides of a gaping ocean.

It is a scary place to be, feeling distanced from someone we have shared the intimacies, the insecurities, of who we are at the core. It is even worse when there is a grain of truth on the tips of the arrows of hurt that we all possess - but seldom shoot - normally having enough self-control not to intentionally inflict pain on those we love.

But, how many times, in anger, do we find ourselves rooting in the back of the closet of our minds, for that one comment, that one reminder, that we know will wound another as swiftly and accurately as if we had drawn the bow? And, how many times do we feel those words slip from our mouths, as we likewise feel the bile of regret?

Sometimes separations in our relationships come in the form of silence; of feeling alienated; of feeling you can't resolve an issue because there is no clear-cut right, no clear-cut wrong. So, you say nothing; do nothing; because, truly, you believe there is nothing that can be done. We are afraid to make things worse, so we stay silent. We choose inaction out of frustration of not knowing what to do. We create stories in our heads of what others are thinking, why they did what they did, or chose what they chose, and then we respond to those stories as if they were real. This can be as destructive to others, to ourselves, as screaming at the top of our lungs. Inaction is a choice; complacency is a choice.

So, what do you do when confronted with either of these situations? How do you put down the arrows? How do you move forward when fear, guilt, or complacency are so overwhelming, you don't know where to start? How do you stop making a difficult situation worse from adding the bricks of guilt and regret to the load you already carry on your back?

Recognizing that when we come to this physical world, we attract others into our lives either to journey - to share, to grow - or to resolve, is the first step in gaining perspective. We do not come to this world as perfect beings; and even as we learn and grow, we do not leave this world as perfect beings, either. We can only ask of ourselves that we do our best; or, if we know we have not, then we can only forgive ourselves for our imperfections - or forgive others for theirs - and be willing to move on.

Our relationships will ebb and flow over time, as surely as the currents of the oceans. We need to take a broader view of life, of relationships. We need to start from the premise of best intention and God's grace. And we need to be willing to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you" when other words fail us.

The key is growth - learning from our choices; learning from the choices of others that affect our lives; and always seeking to live in truth and in integrity, with the certain knowledge that there is no problem without a solution, even if the solution is found in Spirit and not during our physical existence.

We are not alone. We are on a journey of discovery of self and soul growth; and while there are times in your life that may be difficult, even heartbreaking, you can withstand and face the slings and arrows because you are truly shielded with the armor of love - that of the love of God; love of others; and love of self.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

I Hate Roller Coasters, So Why Am I Letting My Ex-Boyfriend Take Me For A Ride?

Nan O’Brien

on October 9, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Dear Nan,

I have been struggling with issues with my ex-boyfriend for 4 years, he comes in and out of my life and has often told me he loves me, misses me, but I know that he has commitment issues, my question is should I let him go or will he ever realize that we belong together and be with me. His name is Tom. I often find my self getting angry with him because he says all of these things to me but always ends up with other women, whenever I tell him that I want him out of my life he seems to try anything to not let me go. Emotionally it has taken its toll, because I want to be with him but feel that he cannot be honest with me about his commitment issues and at this point I really don't know what to do.

Thank you Nan,

Laurie

Dear Laurie,

The question is not "should I let him go or will he ever realize that we belong together," the question is "what does the Universe have to do to make you realize that you do not belong together, in order for YOU to let go of HIM?"

I know it's not what you want to hear but Laurie! Listen to your intuition! Listen to your heart! It's telling you clearly that you are not being honored by this man, you are not being treated with respect by this man, you are not being cherished by this man - you are being used like a door mat! He comes into your heart, your home, if and when he wants; he wipes the energetic mud of other women at your door; he spouts convenient truths that only hold up when you are in front of him; and he wants you most when he thinks he can't have you!

Well, if I were a totally unscrupulous and unprincipled person and had someone sitting around waiting for me while I acted outrageously, and no matter what that person was there, willing to believe my lies and forgive my repeated screw-ups, I wouldn't want to lose that person, either - would you?

He needs to be out of your life for good, for YOUR sake. You deserve so much better than this! And as long as he is in your energy, no one else can come in. Remember - and I've said it before - when you take trash to the curb, don't bring it back in the house!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: A soul will always attempt to honor the soul contract it makes with others, whether that contract is between parent and child, siblings, friends, or in romantic relationships. The miraculous dance between souls that is so amazing when it works, can also result in disappointment and hurt when one of the souls uses God's gift of free will and free choice not to honor the soul contract.

The conflict comes when one soul bails on the other. The soul who is left still believes in the other person, still feels it has to be honorable and to fulfill the obligation that was set in motion prior to coming into this physical world. This results in situations like Laurie, above, who knows intellectually that she needs to let go, but for some unknown reason still can't seem to.

If you are struggling like Laurie, you need to face the reality of the situation and truly deal with the "what is," not the "what if," not the "woulda-coulda-shoulda." Start by asking yourself, "Is this person treating me with respect?" Stringing someone along for four years, alternately professing love and seeking out other relationships, can only have a resounding "NO!" as the answer.

If you start with self-respect, and the understanding that you deserve to be treated honorably, it makes these kinds of situations pretty cut and dry. When one party breaks a contract, any kind of contract, the other party is released from its obligations. Let the dishonorable or disrespectful relationships in your life go, and CHOOSE YOU!

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

My Son Is Acting Like A Push-Me/Pull-You And I'm No Dr. Doolittle!

Nan O’Brien

on October 7, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

Would you help me by telling me how my son Matthew feels about me? He's a nice young man, but I feel very distressed lately that at times he distances himself (it seems). Is he upset with me? Have I done something wrong? Why is he acting like this?

I would appreciate to know a reply on the internet, since I have to be on a machine constantly for my health and receive my answers easiest that way.

Thank you in advance!

JoAnn

Dear JoAnn,

The first thing I must acknowledge in reply to your email is that you have growth through adversity and challenge as one of your life lessons. This means that much of your learning and strength as a soul will come as a result of having to face situations in your life that will, by their nature, be difficult. But that does not mean that your life will always be tough, nor does it mean that you are being punished or treated unfairly by circumstance, though I am sure that there have been times you have felt this is so.

Specifically in response to your question about Matthew, I understand why you feel your son has distanced himself from you. Because you so closely identify yourself through your role as parent, his pulling away can feel threatening, leaving you to wonder if there is a problem between you, or if - for some unknown reason - he has started caring less about you. I do not sense that at all; there is nothing in his energy that concerns me with regard to his feelings toward you.

The simple truth is that Matthew is a young man who is growing into his adulthood. He has a strong desire to establish his independence. He is stepping out on his own and so his attention is turned to the world at his feet; not the world under your roof. This is the natural way of things. It is not that he is trying to move away from you - it is that he is moving toward himself. Big difference!

I would also like you to realize that through the natural process of Matthew becoming his own person in the world, he will be less dependent on you. As a result, you actually will have the opportunity to focus more time, attention, and resources on yourself. It's time for you, JoAnn! Embrace it!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: Growth through adversity and challenge is a hard life lesson when you are going through it, especially if you do not have any perspective other than feeling unlucky or continually pummeled by life. But this lesson provides a very positive perspective, if you can review your life from a distance. For example, while JoAnn is limited physically due to being bound to a machine, it has also led her to connect with the outside world through computers, to create connections virtually that she might not have made otherwise.

Being constantly conditioned to experiencing challenges can also create "tapes in your head" of insecurity when confronted with new or changing situations. The worst case scenario is the easiest to see because you are always on high alert, waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. In essence, you seek the worst - and then are surprised and upset when you seem to have found it!

If you feel that growth through adversity and challenge may be a part of your soul's life lesson plan, it may comfort you to realize that everyone has to go through this lesson at some point in the evolution and growth we all experience as souls. Think of this lesson like a difficult course you took in school - practically ate your lunch going through it, but when you were finished, you knew you had truly accomplished something grand through your hard work and efforts.

Seek the growth, not the challenge; see the growth, not the adversity. It's all up to you!

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

I Hear You Knockin', But You Can't Come In

Nan O’Brien

on October 5, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

In August, a woman that I had known died of cancer. Anne and I were friendly but did not know each other intimately. A few days before she passed I felt a presence that I associated with her and soon after a poem "came to me." I feel like this poem is meant for her husband but I have hesitated to send it. Since I wasn't an intimate friend I am concerned that it may be upsetting to him, especially if this is all "in my head."

This type of thing seems to happen to me around people who have passed or are preparing to pass. How do I know if this is real? Any thoughts?

Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

I have no doubt that Anne reached out to you energetically through the poem while approaching her transition to Spirit, and I agree the poem is intended for her husband.

These experiences are not in your head Elizabeth, they come through you not from you. This is because you have a gift of intuition. The gift of intuition means you must see yourself as the messenger, not part of the message.

It is an honor to serve as a messenger, even if it seems a bit odd in comparison to other talents and gifts. To interject your opinions, your thoughts, your fears, or your judgments into what is given to you is wrong action. To choose inaction - i.e., not passing along the poem that was intended for Anne's husband - is also wrong action. She entrusted you with her words, yet you still hold onto them - why? You have the responsibility to function as the pipe, not try to be the water that flows through the pipe.

Write to Anne's husband and remind him that when God closes a door, He opens a window - and that you believe the "window" was connecting with Anne through the poem. He'll get it. Anne would never have given it to you unless she trusted you with what she had to say and trusted her husband would be willing to listen.

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint: When you have the gift of intuition, the responsibility that goes along with it is huge. The fear of what others may think often acts as a deterrent to openly embracing the gift. How many messages are never delivered because the soul is afraid it's all in his/her head? How much comfort and peace is lost to the world because souls get caught up in the worry of doing the right thing, the wrong thing, when the only thing to do is deliver the message, as is.

It is also common for a loved one passing into Spirit to come to someone who is not an intimate friend, such as Anne did with Elizabeth. Those close in are caught up in grief when a loved one dies, and the grief can obscure the message. By choosing someone the soul trusts, but who is likewise a bit outside the inner circle, the chances of the message being received and delivered are higher.

If you have the gift of intuition, do not worry about the content of any messages you receive. You do not have to understand or interpret; you may not even know what the message means! But you DO have the obligation to make the delivery. The more you trust the process, the stronger it will become.

It is a spiritual calling to possess the gift of intuition; it is a spiritual blessing to embrace it.

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/03/09

Nan O’Brien

on October 4, 2009 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Click on the links below to listen to Nan's online podcast stream.

1st Hour 9pm - 10pm EDT 2nd Hour 10pm - 11pm EDT 3rd Hour 11pm - 12am EDT

Looking at Life: Family By Heart

Nan O’Brien

on October 3, 2009 8:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Family By Heart.JPG

There are friends in our lives who are family in every sense of the word except blood relation. I like to call them "family by heart," as they are souls who are connected to us through love. Often, they are souls we have shared a blood relationship with before - a heart sister, a heart mother; a heart child from another lifetime. You know the feeling! the first time you meet, you just know that that person is going to be a part of the rest of your life.

Family by heart will stand by you, beside you, no matter what. They will witness the milestones in your lives. They will be there for you when you weep with grief over broken hearts or health scares. They will be there for you when you leap with joy over graduations, weddings, the births of your children; the first time your child goes off into the world on a school bus - or behind the wheel of a car...

Brenda is one of my heart sisters. We met more than twenty-three years ago and I "knew" her the instant I met her. Since that time, we have borne witness to the incredible highs and lows of each other's lives. For many years, the scales seemed to be tipped toward her standing by me, as I struggled financially, dealt with marriage, divorce, single parenthood, accidents, illness, the death of my mother, the near death of my daughter, and so much more. When I would thank her for being a good friend, sometimes even protesting at the imbalance, she would wave her hand and dismiss it.

"One day," she would say, "I'll need you."

But nothing prepared us for the news that her beloved son, Patrick, had suddenly succumbed to heart disease at the age of thirty-four. This beautiful son had a generosity of spirit and caring for others. His life had been fraught with challenges: personal victories, and crushing defeats, largely a result of his good nature and inability to say no to anyone in need. And his mother was a part of it all, a source of constant strength, as she has likewise been for me and countless others.

So, who heals the healer? The answer lies in a true friend, a loved one by heart, and it was with bittersweet joy that I was able to embrace God's gift of mediumship to reach out to Patrick in spirit, to provide Brenda with answers she needed to hear; to affirm Patrick's strong, humorous presence in her home; to support her journey of grief and healing.

It's true, the saying "we don't know what the future holds, but we do know that God holds the future," so be comforted by the certain knowledge that when we are in need and when we celebrate our joys, God's hands reach out to touch us through the touch of the special, generous hands of family by heart.

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com

When I'm Stuck In The Mud, Why Do I Send The Tow Truck Away?

Nan O’Brien

on October 2, 2009 5:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Dear Nan,

I have been to your shows and I found myself so spiritually refreshed each time I left. I really do feel like a weight HAS truly been lifted. I'm sending the email because there is so much going on in my life right now. I met a really nice guy about a year ago and we are moving in with each other this summer. This means new place, new town, new job.

I should be so happy, but I'm not. I feel that I don't have control over anything. Help!

Thanks, Stacey

Dear Stacey,

Thank you for your kind words - and I want you to be kind to yourself right now, too!

In thinking of all of the newness coming into your life in the next few months, the uneasiness is being fed by your life lesson of embracing change. Let's face it, Stacey, change is not your strong suit! But if you look at the timing of the change that is coming objectively, it is manageable: You've been in your relationship for more than a year and the moving in will not take place until summer. You have months to think about a new job, to look for a new place, and to learn more about your new town.

Rest assured that you are moving in a very positive direction. I like this guy! The key to embracing this blessing in your life and allowing yourself to be happy is to pace yourself. Instead of focusing on the outcomes of the changes, all of which overwhelm you, take little steps. The process can actually be fun and you will end up where you need to go.

Think journey, not destination, and let go of the expectations of what lies ahead. It is the expectations - and the fear that comes from the thought of failing to meet those expectations - that is robbing you of the joy that is truly yours right now. Own your joy!

Nan

√ ∙ Checkpoint:For those of you with resistance to change in your energy, being rooted in the status quo is comforting, even when the status quo is uncomfortable. At least you know what to expect! You know how to maneuver around familiar obstacles; you know when and where to run for cover. Simply put, you know your own pain.

Logically, you would think that when given the choice between staying in (familiar) pain or leaving it behind, the choice would be a no brainer. Yet, this is not so when you have change as a life lesson. As a soul, the threat of the unfamiliar unknown is the biggest threat, even when you know that the fear is irrational and palpable. The fear creates indecision, and the indecisiveness undermines and impedes your movement forward. Paralyzed and unable to move forward, opportunities dry up. The result is that a self-fulfilling prophecy that "things never work out" takes place, reinforcing your fear of even contemplating change. And on it goes.

The cycle of resistance-pain-fear is a difficult sequence to break energetically. The soul who chooses to tackle the life lesson of change, of breaking through the barrier of resistance, must be willing to step outside the proverbial box and focus on the experiences as they come vs. working toward the end result. Like Stacey, interjecting logic and perspective - and concentrating on small steps - is key to minimizing the perception of being adrift and out of control.

If you're not feeling threatened by change, you can make room in your soul to feel the joy of new experiences.

Until tomorrow, I am

Intuitively Yours,
Nan O'Brien

Do you have a question you'd like me to answer in my daily blog? I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at Nan@IntuitivelyYours.net.

For more information about me and my work, please visit www.NanOBrien.com.

« September 2009 | Main Index | Archives | November 2009 »

October 2009 Archives

Looking at Life: Autumn

How Do I Herd The Black Sheep In My Family?

The Party You Are Trying To Reach Is Unavailable; Please Try Again Later.

My Mom Passed And The Rest Of My Family Makes Me Feel Like I'm An Orphan

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/24/09

Looking at Life: Split Second

Seven Degrees Of Education

He's Gone And My New Companion Is Guilt

Just When You Think Things Can't Get Any Worse...

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/17/09

Looking at Life: Red Light, Green Light

Please Sign On The Dotted Line

I Chose To Leave, So Why Do I Feel Lost?

May The (Sales) Force Be With You!

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/10/09

Looking at Life: Slings and Arrows

I Hate Roller Coasters, So Why Am I Letting My Ex-Boyfriend Take Me For A Ride?

My Son Is Acting Like A Push-Me/Pull-You And I'm No Dr. Doolittle!

I Hear You Knockin', But You Can't Come In

The Nan O'Brien Radio Show - 10/03/09

Looking at Life: Family By Heart

When I'm Stuck In The Mud, Why Do I Send The Tow Truck Away?

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