Looking at Life: Slings and Arrows

It is a scary place to be, feeling distanced from someone we have shared the intimacies, the insecurities, of who we are at the core. It is even worse when there is a grain of truth on the tips of the arrows of hurt that we all possess - but seldom shoot - normally having enough self-control not to intentionally inflict pain on those we love.

But, how many times, in anger, do we find ourselves rooting in the back of the closet of our minds, for that one comment, that one reminder, that we know will wound another as swiftly and accurately as if we had drawn the bow? And, how many times do we feel those words slip from our mouths, as we likewise feel the bile of regret?

Sometimes separations in our relationships come in the form of silence; of feeling alienated; of feeling you can't resolve an issue because there is no clear-cut right, no clear-cut wrong. So, you say nothing; do nothing; because, truly, you believe there is nothing that can be done. We are afraid to make things worse, so we stay silent. We choose inaction out of frustration of not knowing what to do. We create stories in our heads of what others are thinking, why they did what they did, or chose what they chose, and then we respond to those stories as if they were real. This can be as destructive to others, to ourselves, as screaming at the top of our lungs. Inaction is a choice; complacency is a choice.

So, what do you do when confronted with either of these situations? How do you put down the arrows? How do you move forward when fear, guilt, or complacency are so overwhelming, you don't know where to start? How do you stop making a difficult situation worse from adding the bricks of guilt and regret to the load you already carry on your back?

Recognizing that when we come to this physical world, we attract others into our lives either to journey - to share, to grow - or to resolve, is the first step in gaining perspective. We do not come to this world as perfect beings; and even as we learn and grow, we do not leave this world as perfect beings, either. We can only ask of ourselves that we do our best; or, if we know we have not, then we can only forgive ourselves for our imperfections - or forgive others for theirs - and be willing to move on.

Our relationships will ebb and flow over time, as surely as the currents of the oceans. We need to take a broader view of life, of relationships. We need to start from the premise of best intention and God's grace. And we need to be willing to say "I'm sorry" and "I love you" when other words fail us.

The key is growth - learning from our choices; learning from the choices of others that affect our lives; and always seeking to live in truth and in integrity, with the certain knowledge that there is no problem without a solution, even if the solution is found in Spirit and not during our physical existence.

We are not alone. We are on a journey of discovery of self and soul growth; and while there are times in your life that may be difficult, even heartbreaking, you can withstand and face the slings and arrows because you are truly shielded with the armor of love - that of the love of God; love of others; and love of self.