The CW Source

We have a confession to make. We like to think we're high-minded, sophisticated, exquisitely tasteful sort of people – and The CW caters to those discriminating tastes. We don't watch reality shows, we monitor social experiments (with hot girls and geeks).
We don't watch fluffy chick dramadies, we tune into trenchant, critically-acclaimed commentaries on mother-daughter relationships (with hot girls and guys). We don't consume cut-and-paste crime procedurals, we devote ourselves to the second coming of film noir (with still more hot girls and guys). We don't veg out in front of mindless scary monster shows, we take in one of the best depictions of family dynamics on television – one that just happens to involve a hot car, hotter guys, and seriously frightening beasties. You get the idea.

But sometimes… sometimes, despite our finely tuned palates and out gourmet tastes, we find ourselves craving cheese – and not the kind that gets spread on baguette slices and carried around by butlers. No, we're talking good old processed cheesefood, preferably the sort that you can spray out of a can. The CW understands those cravings, and it delivers.

Right now, the CW is casting what promises to be a cheese-tastic, guilty pleasure free-for-all. Ladies and gentlemen, we direct your attention to Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants. Pardon us while we salivate and whip out the Cheez Whiz.

As you'd expect, this is a competition for mothers and their adult daughters (no under-18 competitors, so we can avoid the creepy feeling that baby beauty pageants give us). The moms and daughters will compete in a series of challenges, culminating in a primetime beauty pageant. The winners get cash and – squeeee! – matching tiaras! We want tiaras! They just make any outfit instantly classy!

But don't expect this to be like any old beauty pageant – it's different. How? We'll let The CW speak for itself:

"We're redefining what it means to be a pageant winner, so while conventional physical beauty counts, talent, personality, fitness, confidence and inner beauty are all important elements that will determine the winning mother-daughter team."

What does this mean? The mind reels. We're hoping for a talent portion that includes baton twirling or tap-dancing. Oooh, or bird calls! Or, or, dramatic recitations of CW dialogue! So many options!

Is Crowned up your alley, or is it not your style? Are you a sucker for a fancy tiara? Will you be dusting off your "What I really want is world peace" personal statement? Tell us what you think in the comments!