Gossip Girl: Lights! Camera! Action!
"OK, Lily, let's put you between the ex-husband who convinced everyone you had cancer and the controlling mother who has tried to run your life."
Gossip Girl returned this week without those circling wagons William promised, but the family did rally around Lily as she awaited news of her sentencing and they did it the only way those Upper East Siders know how: with a fancy photo shoot, of course. Lily’s sister Carol made an appearance with a little secret financial prompting from dear ol’ mom, followed by her innocent daughter Charlie, who was immediately welcomed into the fold by Serena with a shopping spree. William and Rufus spent the episode mired in a pissing contest over who was the real man of the house. Dan wrestled with his feelings for Blair while she realized her destiny lies with Chuck. Unfortunately, Chuck’s scheming against Dan forced her to run in the opposite direction, leaving Chuck to pose in the Modern Royalty book alone. Here are some other thoughts:
Most awkward moment: Chuck waking up in his own penthouse to the sight of Reina in a silk robe. Maybe it’s time for Nate to get his own room at the hotel.
Best illness: Blair thinks she’s suffering from consumption or malaise. We only wished we looked that good in a pair of silk pajamas.
Best line: “You are ass backwards crushing on Blair Wardolf.” Well said, Eric.
Most oblivious: CeCe compliments Lily on her mug shot photo. Never mind that she’s about to go to prison, as long as her hair looks good, who cares?
Continue reading to find out just how much Vanessa hasn't changed.
Biggest hypocrite: Carol has sheltered her daughter from New York on her mother’s dime. Get a job!
Worst symbolism: Charlie showing up at the photo shoot wearing a virginal white dress while all the big, bad rich people are dressed in black.
Saddest moment: Chuck posing alone for the photo. We’re not quite sure why Blair is so angry at Chuck. She knows he’s a schemer. She’s been guilty of her own schemes.
Most annoying: Vanessa overhears Blair and Dan talking about their shared kiss and she immediately calls Serena. When will she stop? She says she’s not trying to pry or cause any trouble, but if that were true she would just put the phone down.
Worst communication: Charlie wants to stay in New York and Lily agrees to shelter the girl, but she harbors a secret. Instead of Carol just revealing why Charlie left school she tearfully tells Lily to keep a close eye on her precious daughter. Is Lily not curious? There’s a difference between getting kicked out of college for cheating on a test or dealing drugs.
Mind-numbing foreshadowing: We’ve seen that look before on Dan’s face before when he meets a girl. Will Dan make a move on Charlie? Does he just fall for just anything in a dress?
The episode concluded with a certain prince arriving in New York with magnificent high-heeled shoe in Blair’s size. Now Chuck has some real competition. It will be interesting to see how he deals with an equal and not just some lame-o from Brooklyn. What do you think?