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90210 recap: Unlike those prom nights, at the end of this one you'll be engaged


"Nice wig. Do you swing?"

This episode of 90210 was all over the board. We had the typical high school drama of grades, future colleges and prom, but then there were absurd inheritances, threesome proposals, wedding proposals, and, even crazier, proposal acceptances. And again, someone really needs to tell these kids about FAFSA and scholarship applications. IT CAN BE DONE, PEOPLE. How do you think kids not from Beverly Hills can afford to go to college?

Place your bets
...on whether Annie and Marla's daughter are going head-to-head for Marla's estate. Because really, why else would we have met this chick and why else would she have given that noncommittal description of her mother? Also, Annie should totally buy back Marla's necklace she sold for hers and Dixon's college fund now that she's loaded.

And again, we'd like to reiterate that student loans exist. Most people don't win the My-rich-suicidal-employer-disinherited-her-natural-born-children-for-me Scholarship. Those are rarer than a MacArthur grant. But then again, we don't live in Beverly Hills.

Read on for an indecent proposal and a very, very age-inappropriate one.

The road to community college is paved with good intentions
It seems smarts can't get you everywhere in life, and sometimes they can royally screw up your relationship with your hot girlfriend. When Naomi needs to crank out a 10-page paper in one night, Max is there to help her pull an all-nighter (But dudes, if Max has been as all over her about grades as he appeared to be in the last few episodes, this paper would not have been put off until the last minute, right?)

Unbeknownst to her, Max over-edits Naomi's prose, and her teacher calls her out on the too-impressive paper. Oh, did we mention Teach pulls this stunt at prom, just after Naomi wins prom queen with an adorably bashful Teddy as her king? Because he does. Because he's a jackass and hates joy.

Speaking of jackasses...
Raj gets some less than hopeful news at the doctor -- his cancer has progressed to stage four, though there are some more steps they can take. Ivy is being as supportive as possible, though after she gets some sparkling surfer praise at prom, Raj goes off the rails. He drinks, he does stupid skateboard stunts, and finally he proposes a threesome with one of the waitresses. But it's okay, he's dying! Ivy decides to leave him to his horrible reasoning until he sobers up and apologizes. He doesn't want to hold her back from her sure-to-be-amazing life, but Ivy wants to be there to the end, if that's what it comes to.

So the two spend a cute night on the beach and come sunrise, Raj proposes. Not a threesome, a wedding. For once in a long time we were utterly surprised by 90210, when instead of balking and looking uncertain, Ivy confidently nods. Which, we don't know, it somehow fits? We're never ones to advocate teen marriage, but this feels right for Ivy, who's always been willing to forge her own path. Plus, she looks stunning in traditional Indian wedding garb.

Weirdest prom ever
The biggest obstacle to overcome with prom was having to make sense of Silver's manically-ordered decor, which turned out to be...interesting. There was some kind of an avant guarde futuristic theme, complete with blue-wigged girls in silver lamé jumpsuits. But since Silver was at home recovering, Dixon and Harper were left to put together the pieces.

Type A queen Harper is continually down Dixon's throat about the party, but things seem to go well enough and Harper and Dix even share a nerdy, spastic dance at the end.

Keep your friends close and your enemies out of your medicine cabinet
Silver is doing better at the clinic and is grateful to Navid for taking her to get the help she needed. Little does Silver know that Ade has convinced Navid that he drunkenly kissed her, confessed his love for her and denied loving Silver during his blackout the night before. So Navid is dealing with some serious issues, is what we're saying.

Also, the doctor suspects Silver hasn't been taking her meds, as no trace of them were found in her bloodstream. Plus, her recovery may result in feelings of paranoia. Silver swears up and down she's been staying medicated and says she'll bring in the bottle for her next checkup. Too bad Ade is in the room when she says this, so she comes over to Silver's with "presents" to help her feel better and swipes the bottle of pills.

When it's time for Navid to head to prom, Silver discovers the bottle is missing and pretty much susses out Ade's entire plan. However, Navid convinces her it's the paranoia and that Ade couldn't do that. But when Ade tries to hit on him at the dance he reacts with such venom that we think he wouldn't put cold-blooded murder past her. Which is smart, because neither would we.

Unable to handle the rejection, Ade goes to Silver's and tells her that Navid kissed her. Silver shows up to prom, confronts Navid and tells him she never wants to see him again. We're just wondering how someone who has been shown to be such an airhead has managed to pull this much wool over the eyes of the school's brightest students. Suggestions? Because we're stumped.

What did you think, readers? Do you agree with West Bev's choice for prom king and queen? Will Max confess that he altered Naomi's paper? Will Ade EVER be found out? Are dance skills genetic, and if they are, is Harper in any way related to Elaine Benes? Give us your sweet, delectable comments!

Notes n' Quotes

Harper: Tuck in your shirt, we have an image to project!

Naomi: Unlike those prom nights, at the end of this one you'll be naked.
Max: You'd be surprised at what can happen with World of Warcraft.

Annie: So, you and Harper having fun?
Dixon: Oh, she's the best.

Max: Don't think of it a 10-page paper. think of it as 10 one-page papers.
Naomi: That sounds worse...

Naomi: My head is saying "jump his bones" but my body's saying "crash."

Dixon: So what do you think?
Ivy: I think it's kind of like a bad acid trip.
Harper: Kill me now.

Harper: Have you been in the bathroom? It's like Sodom and Gomorrah in there.

Raj: We can dance right here. Haven't you ever seen an Indian guy moonwalk?

Teddy: Congratulations, Naomi. You make a beautiful queen.
Naomi: Right back 'atcha.

Harper: I'm sorry for being such a raging bitch. On the bright side, I didn't get shingles after freshman turnabout.

Annie: I heard that you and Harper were all over each other.
Dixon: This is a nightmare.

Final Thoughts

  • Why did Navid let Ade drive him, anyway? Doesn't he hate her? Can't he call his mom or friends? And why is he believing her?
  • Didn't Annie seem to get over that relatively quickly, especially after the trauma of finding Marla's body?
  • And just how much is she inheriting? She should totally move into that house -- the view is amazing. And think of the pool party/barbecue possibilities!
  • We want red velvet cupcakes now.

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Comments

Can you contest that based on those things? I'm sure Brooke is going to put up a fight of some kind, but what can actually undo the terms of a will once the person is deceased? Get to it, lawyerly readers.

With regards to Silver and Navid, if Silver can't forgive Navid for a little kiss then I think she's stupid. She was with Navid when he was with Adrianna. Its the same thing Adrianna was going through and Silver needs to get a taste of her own medicine.

Another question: Do you think there's going to be a legal battle to set aside Marla's will? I mean, Marla knew Annie for...two weeks? And Annie has a manslaughter conviction? It seems like Marla's daughter has some pretty good ammo to use against her.

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