Hellcats: Papa's got a brand new bag
This week on Hellcats Marti digs further into her family tree and finds an unexpected branch and we wonder what ever happened to Travis, while Savannah and Nasty Kathy go head-to-head with the baby shower planning. And Red’s ex slinks into town to dig up some dirt, but not before she exposes the man for the cheater he is.
Gimme an F!
As it turns out, Savannah’s not such a good student. She’s majoring in Cheer, so studying and all that crazy learning stuff falls by the wayside. Now that her cheating got her an F in a freshman class, her grades dipped below a C average and she’s lost her scholarship. Dan tells her to ask for help and to start with her Dad. Well, Dad’s just happy that Savannah’s not knocked up like her slutty sister. He agrees to finance her “secular school” education on the down-low and has a surprising amount of available fundage to offer.
Sisters don’t shake hands, sisters hug
Wanda seems to be psychic when it comes to her daughter’s feelings about men. But what she doesn’t know is that Marti asked her hot, ex-law professor to do a background check on her father, Rex. He didn’t come to the bar to make out with her again. Julian was able to find out a lot about Rex. After he left them in ’93 he got into trouble and went to a court ordered sobriety program. When he got out he got hitched again. His second wife died in 2005 but not before she and Rex had a daughter. Her name is Deirdre Perkins—the girl from the music shop where Rex used to play. Marti has a sister -- and the girl knew back when Marti first visited the shop, looking for THEIR dad. And she lied to her face.
Marti heads over to confront her new sibling at the shop and a very sisterly cat fight ensues. It’s quite the public spectacle. Later, Savannah and Dan explain to Marti that her father is probably a lost cause, but sisters are forever. She decides to try again. Marti returns to the shop and gets just that chance.
Turns out that Deidre’s mom met Rex at rehab. All was well until Deidre’s mom was killed in a car accident and Rex had a total relapse. He disappeared soon after and she never saw him again. As we learn, both of Rex’s daughters received guitars from him. They decide to try the sister thing, and their first hang out at the pad with Wanda is rife with awkwardness. There’s no real happy memories of their father, but heck, they all have his music in common. So they bond over a music montage.
Some serious ex issues
Vanessa starts her interview with Emily by apologizing for hoin’ it up with her husband all those years ago. But Emily tells her that if it hadn’t been her it would have been someone else. Red was dating someone else when Emily met him and he’s a chronic cheater. He’s also a liar. Steve Switzer, a high school recruit, is ready to testify that Red tried to pay him to come to Lancer. Vanessa explains that Red finds pay-for-play unethical and Emily just looks down her nose at the woman and patronizes her. And we’re wondering how our girl got through the scene without bitch slapping Red's condescending ex.
Later, Red meets Emily for dinner and he pretty much confesses that he’s dirty, but tells Emily that the trustees are going to happily cover up anything she digs up on him. She’s just there to find out who they need to pay off first. She’d have to get ugly and go to the press if she wanted to expose him. Emily tells Red that she thought that she could get over their ugly breakup (Yes--it's been how long? Ten years? We say it's time to move on) but now that she’s seen Vanessa again she doesn’t think that’s possible. He’s chasing a happy ending he doesn’t deserve. When Red tells Emily how much he loves Vanessa she declares war.
One very dirty shower
Why would Nasty Kathy hang out at Cheer Town? She and Lewis continue to date and she totally hangs out in enemy territory. There’s got to be a better place to spend time together.
NK is throwing Charlotte a baby shower, but Savannah plans to throw her sister a surprise shower and she’s definitely not inviting Nasty. But when Charlotte discovers the double shower issue she begs her sister to invite her. NK is Charlotte’s only strong link to cheer and she needs to keep up the friendship in order to not get tossed out of the squad for being a hoochie at a Christian school. Savannah agrees to make nice. But Nasty Kathy is, of course, Nasty and pretty smart because she sees through Savannah’s charade.
But the two manage to put together a nice co-ed shower, even though the baby daddy isn’t involved at all. Early on we begin to think that only real casualty is Savannah’s foot when it ends up on the business end of NC’s stiletto. But of course, things do get ugly. Nasty Kathy tells Savannah that she’s done taking care of Charlotte and she thinks it’s time to find a captain who reflects the Christian values of the school. Then we get to the nitty gritty of the history between Savannah and Kathy.
It seems that back in the day, the two were BFFs. Kathy trusted Savannah with her beloved tarantulas while she was away. But Savannah fed Kathy’s tarantulas hamburger instead of live crickets, and they ended up dying a horrible tarantula death. Kathy ended up hating her and Savannah got the rest of the kids to start calling her “Nasty Kathy.” Then the two realize how stupid they are, and there’s more bonding -- until the police show up to arrest Savannah’s father. He’s accused of wire fraud, bribery, violation of the public trust and all kinds of skulduggery. We discover that the cops were watching his accounts and when he wrote a big check to someone they were afraid that he was fleeing the country and moved in. Savannah’s devastated with guilt.
Marti makes a booty call
After her incredible bonding day with her new sissy, Marti heads over to Julian’s house to thank him. Uh…didn’t she already thank him last week? They end up kissing again and this time he invites her in. And on the other side of town, Lewis presents Nasty Kathy with a gift of love—a pair of tarantulas. Nothing says romance like a couple of big, hairy arachnids.
So much love to share on the Lancer campus. Which of the Hellcats lovebirds you think make the best, happiest couple? Tell us in the comments.