Smallville says sayonara
You're going to have to come up with your own snarky caption. We're too busy quietly weeping.
Just gonna get this out front...there were a couple of times we cursed at the screen during the two-hour series finale. Chills, actual chills, came upon us, even though we know the saga. Could it be over the primary-colored suit? Could it be that Chloe and Oliver got their happy ending? Could it be that we glimpsed Jimmy Olsen AND Michael Rosenbaum as the the president of the United States in 2018? But in answer to it all....yes. And these are just a few of the reasons. Are you listening world? THIS is how your END a series while saying thanks to the fans. Bowing out never felt so good.
Chloe and Ollie: The finale already ends on a good note when we see that Chloe is telling the story of her close friend via comic book to a little blond tyke as a bedtime story. So, we already know that Oliver and Chloe have made it (sigh, thank you Gods!). We know because it's seven years later, so it's not like Ollie died leaving her a widow. Whew...But to end the Chloe and Oliver chapter for good, we have to see how the Green Arrow banishes the darkness from within himself.
As the couple are the best man and maid of honor at Lois and Clark's nuptials, Chloe and Oliver think back to their Las Vegas wedding, which was a "non-event." Low-key though it was, both have no regrets. But little does Chloe know she spoke to soon. Oliver is coerced into switching Clark's classic wedding band for one of kryptonite that will strip his powers away permanently. Luckily, Chloe stops Lois from putting it on his finger in the nick of time. (Now how she didn't know her future baby's daddy was marked with the Omega, we don't know. Seriously, the guy is fine, but one should notice some things.)
It seems Tess knows. Or at least she does when she finds out Queen took Watchtower offline and prevented anyone else from breaking back in. That sets Tess on a mad dash to let the team know what's coming-- the apocalypse in the shape of a planet, hurtling toward Earth thanks to the gravitational pull all the Omega converts are generating.
Just so happens, Tess doesn't make it to the wedding to ward them off. Instead, the beautiful moment that is Clark and Lois's union is disrupted by a fight between Oliver and Clark. The "Friend of Steel" does what we expect him to -- talk his friend off the ledge by showing him a little faith. Oliver fights the darkness within and wins. The rich orphan does the impossible and reverts to his true, untainted self. And in doing so, he is able to don his superhero threads and kill the three henchmen of Darkseid with one pull of the bow. (Which we're a bit shocked about...because just last week, it seemed the world needed the bow of Orion to win the battle, but we're on such a high, we'll let that one go.)
Tess and the rest of the Luthor clan: The lowest point of this finale is the Luthor reunion showdown. After what seems like eons of dastardly schemes and backstabbing, it felt oddly unsatisfying to have Tess perish at the hands of one of her brethren. Now, we're not saying we expected Tess to be in suburbia raising little ones, but with her innate fighting ability and survivor-like skills, she should have been spared and sent to do good elsewhere.
But NOOOOOOO. Lionel sends lackeys to kidnap her on her way to warn Clark about the impending doom. Then the man who sired her proceeds to tell her he's going to cut out her heart and give it to his favorite child, Lex. Yes, Lex cloned himself to the point of insanity...but in all that experimentation, the best body parts were kept for the original Luthor heir.
But Tess, after all, is special. She was born to darkness and yet she yearns for the light. That's why we're so invested in Tess. She made her mistakes, lent her prowess to the wrong people, but in her struggle she was truly human. And if we can't have the doe-eyed Lana doing that, we sure as heck admired Tess for stepping up to the plate. Her internal struggle in spite of her upbringing made her formidable and no one's lackey, so to be stabbed by Lex after Daddy Dearest sells his soul to Darkseid to let Lex live is just a slap in the face. Tess needed to go out in a blaze of glory (yes, that was a Young Guns reference, so sue us).
Lex utters that he's saving her from turning into him as she lies dying...really? Come on!! Add to that, no one, and I do mean no one, tries to find her and rescue her after Clark finds her abandoned car on the side of the road. After all that Tess did to win over the team's trust and no one even follows up with her disappearance? Okay, so there was a planet in jeopardy and so there was a wedding going on, but still. She's a person you miss in a room. The woman had presence. But we have to let it go. It's over and she at least did one thing before she left. She told Lex he would forget all his memories. Just like Alexander, that was one thing he couldn't fix in the cloning. Farewell, Tess...you gave 'em hell and we appreciated it.
And speaking of giving them hell, Lionel got what he deserved by becoming Darkseid. That man gave new definition to the term "obsession." After all, it was his heart, not Tess', that was given to Lex to live. Talk about the ultimate sacrifice! But we tip our hat to John Glover for the years of service. No one did dastardly dad better than he. Just thinking about his stares, put-downs, speeches to Lex and his enemies over time truly makes you appreciate your father just that much more on Father's Day -- no matter how dysfunctional you think your family is.
And now to Lex...he finally lives. That was the plan all along and Michael Rosenbaum did not disappoint. When he reappears in front of Clark in the burned down mansion all in black, Clark says his name and Les says he always says it with astonishment, dread, and a hopeful finish. Truer words, never spoken...ever. And after all the venting was said and done about Lex being frustrated that Clark ran from his abilities; heroes being defined by their enemies; and embraced destinies, it all came down to this: "We will both be great men, just on different sides." And "sorry I couldn't save you Lex." We won't lie, that choked us up a little...okay, a lot. The song "I'm Only Human" from Human League played in our minds when this scene ended, but we digress. Lex is left standing at LuthorCorp when it all ends. But seven years in the future, he has been elected the leader of the free world wearing a Colonel Sanders suit. Now how and why this doesn't scare those who know what he's capable of is beyond us. But we'll let that go too.
Because Clark finally flies of his own free will. He friggin' flew when he realized that he can united his past, present and future without compromising anything. Jor-El, Jonathan Kent, the Kent farm -- Clark can have it all, because it's all of that...all the folks in Smallville that made him the hero he is and will become. And you know you're doing something right, when both your fathers are saying they're proud of you. Holy crap! Even Jor-El admits it's Kal-El's soul that he's most proud of.
During a montage of trials that Jor-El put him through, Clark looks on and realizes this moment with the apocalypse is his true destiny. One that he takes gladly with the famous caped suit in hand. When Jonathan Kent hands it to Clark and Jor-El tells his son he's humbled by the feats of his offspring, we cried a little. God bless John Schneider for those Hallmark moments forged between boyhood and manhood and bless Terrence Stamp since a disembodied voice-over is not much to convey emotions in such a legendary story, but somehow he made it work.
All of this, and the cherry on the sundae: Lois and Clark get hitched. Well, sorta. We get their devotion to one another in the heartfelt scenes where Chloe gives Lois Clark's vows to read after news she's calling off the wedding and again when Clark reads Lois' vows on the other side of their apartment door. But by the time Lois is in that god-forsaken wedding dress and veil carrying a fern down the aisle, we are a blubbering mess. Clark taking her hand and they walk toward the preacher? It's priceless. We swear we're going to find out what song was playing at that moment because something tells us, it's going to be playing in many a wedding to come. Mine included...altogether now...awwww!
So the two don't get married, what with the end of human civilization, fighting Ollie, and all that. What with all this going on, of course, Lois needs to sneak on to Air Force One to convince our nation's leaders not to send a nuclear warhead into what they think is a meteor. Ms. Lane does just that, giving a us chance to see what real superheroes of the world can do if given a chance. Because if the powers that be release their nuclear weapon, the radioactive fallout will kill a third of the world's population. Lois does her part and Clark comes to the rescue, and Lois STILL gets her one-on-one with the president of the United States. Man, Lane lives a wonderful life. A normal person would be satisfied with doing one of those things, but Lois saves the planet AND hits her deadline with an exclusive. A rare breed, that Lane woman.
Once the tissues are put away, Clark gets down to business and takes out Darkseid, pushing back the red planet set to destroy Earth. And the funny thing is Clark does it all without us actually seeing him in the full Superman suit per the "no tights" stipulation. Gotta love computers.
So it all comes to an end with Lois and Clark toiling away at the Daily Planet with Jimmy Olsen's little brother working alongside the two reporters. Seven years later, the two haven't tied the knot, but are determined to make it happen with all the juggling of schedules. Aaah, and who can't relate to that?
Somehow, we don't really know what to say to wrap our last "Smallville" recap up. It's been fun, it's been real? Perhaps. Or maybe after watching shows like "90210" and "ER" fade into the television landscape, we should just play Frank Sinatra's "My Way" and thank the writers, creators, and stars of the show for taking us along for the ride. Hats off to you, Tom Welling, Alison Mack, Michael Rosenbaum, and all the rest of the "Smallville" family. It's been a pleasure.