Supernatural: Monster mash-up
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
Supernatural was all about good news/bad news scenarios this week. Good news: They've found Eve! Bad news: She's created an army of hybrid monsters. Good news: Eve is defeated! Bad news: She's the least of their worries. Good news: Someone we've been missing is back! Bad news: Someone we trusted has been a very bad boy. The Winchesters are not going to be happy about this...
Now that they've got phoenix ash, the boys really want to find Eve, but Cas can't help them find her -- she's got some sort of angel-radar-blocker. Time for plan b.
Enter Lenore, the vegetarian (or at least non-human-eating) vamp they encountered several seasons ago. She's not doing so well -- Eve's voice is echoing around her head, and it's driving her to snack on people. She tells the boys where Eve is, warns them that Eve knows they're coming... and then begs the boys to kill her so she won't eat anyone else. The boys try to talk her down, but Cas smites her something fierce. "We needed to move this along," he says by way of explanation. Um, ok...
Read on for more monster madness, shocking revelations, plus a boatload of quotes.
Here be monsters
Sam, Dean, Bobby and Cas head out to Grant's Pass, Oregon, which seems idyllically peaceful. Could Lenore have been wrong? Well, Cas is suddenly powerless, a local doctor called in an unknown illness to the CDC, patient zero is a gooey corpse wrapped in plastic behind the office, and there's a bar full of dead people so... we're going to say they're in the right place.
Things get curiouser when the guys find a house full of dead or dying patient zero doppelgangers. Suddenly, shapeshifting is contagious? Then they realize that most of the corpses in the bar are some sort of vamp/wraith hybrid. As the discoverer of the new subspecies, Dean dubs the hybrids "Jefferson Starship -- because they're horrible and hard to kill." If they start building cities on Rock n' Roll -- a notoriously unstable foundation for human habitation -- then we'll really be worried!
While they're checking out the bar, the cops bust them -- and the cops are are Starships. Eep! Fortunately, Dean evades capture, and between Sam's head-butts and Dean and Cas' head-lopping, the guys are left with one Starship to question. But the boys find the dead doc's kids in the cells, and they want to get them somewhere safe. Cas objects to the distraction -- hello, mother of monsters to kill! Focus! -- but he's overruled. He vents his frustration on the sole surviving Starship, who tells him where Eve is and then loses his head.
Eve is actually happy to talk to the boys, once she has her minions relieve them of their phoenix-ash weapons. She even adopts the guise of dead Mama Winchester to explain to the boys that she's just a mom trying to protect her babies. She would have been perfectly happy to keep things going the way they had been, but Crowley started kidnapping, torturing and killing mass quantities of her kiddies, and that's more than she could take. Now she wants Crowley dead, and she wants the boys to help her.
The boys are, naturally, nonplussed. Crowley got torched months ago. He's most sincerely dead. Au contraire, Mama Monster says -- he's alive and well and carving up monsters to get access to all those juicy, powerful souls in purgatory. So why don't they join her in taking Crowley down, and she'll even let them -- and their friends -- live!
Dean says no, in the most strident terms possible. In fact, he seems to be goading Mama Monster into attacking him. She takes a bite out of him, only to discover that he'd drunk a phoenix ash/whiskey cocktail before coming to visit. The ash in his blood doesn't sit well with mama, and she oozes out into oblivion. Bleh.
With Mama Monster dead, Cas gets his powers back, so he toasts all the monsters in the diner. Unfortunately, Mama Monster told the boys that she's finally built the perfect beast, and she'd put him in the body of one of the little orphan boys they took to a new town. Cas is furious, but when they get to the house, they discover that the mini monsters are already dead, and it looks like demons did the dirty work.
So yay, no new monsters to deal with, but 1) why are demons involved, and 2) just how did Crowley survive? Cas vows to check it out immediately. Once he leaves, Sam and Bobby exchange wary glances -- Cas doesn't tend to make mistakes. If Crowley's alive, it's because Cas purposefully didn't kill him. Dean disagrees -- Cas is on their side, right?
Oh, Dean. We're so sorry. Cas goes back to the Monster Diner and finds Crowley, who is most definitely not dead. In fact, he's waiting for Cas to arrive, and he's as snarky as ever. "Really Cas, this is getting ridiculous," he says. "How many times am I going to have to clean up your messes?" Oh boy. This can't be good.
Highlights, thoughts and odds and ends
This episode was pretty quote-tastic. Some of our faves:
Bobby: I'm thinking it's time you made a call.
Dean: Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call? It's not like Cas lives in my ass, the dude's busy!
[Cas appears right behind Dean]
Dean: Cas, get out of my ass!
Cas: I was never in your...
Sam: You remember us?
Lenore: I remember. Your hunter friend almost killed me.
Sam: Well, if it makes you feel any better, he turned into a vampire and I chopped his head off.
Dean: Yeah, with razor wire. Wicked.
Lenore: Well, that's something...
Dean: Well, if she is here, I'm glad we've got smitey McSmiterton on our squad.
Bobby: [Gesturing at the iPad] I asked for a computer.
Sam: It is a computer.
Bobby: No, a computer has buttons...
Cas: I'll search the town. Give me a moment.
Dean: Cas, we can still see you.
Cas: Yeah, I'm still here.
Dean: OK, well you don't have to wait on us..
[Cas tenses up and tries again.]
Dean: Well now it just looks like you're pooping.
Cas: Something's wrong.
Dean: What, you stuck?
Cas: I'm blocked. I'm powerless.
Dean: You're joking.
Cas: Something in this town is affecting me. I assume it's Eve.
Dean: So, wait, mom's making you limp?
Cas: Figuratively, yes.
Cas: I don't know, but she is.
Dean: Well that's great, because without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat.
[Cas turns away, pouting.]
Sam: I think you hurt his feelings.
Bobby: They won't take long.
Cas: You don't know that. They may find more wayward orphans along the way.
Bobby: Don't get cute.
Cas: Right. Pardon me for highlighting their crippling and dangerous empathetic response with sarcasm.
Sam: [Scanning the room with his phone, seeing lots of monster eye-flashes.] Crap. Crap. Crap.
Dean: Is there anyone in this diner who is not a flesh-eating monster?
Sam: You and me.
Eve: Wondering why so flaccid? I'm older than you Castiel. I know what makes angels tick. As long as I'm around, consider yourself unplugged.
Seriously? Cas consorting with Crowley? We totally didn't see that coming.
On the upside, more Crowley! Yay!
How will the boys deal with the realization that Cas has been consorting with the enemy? And what the heck is Cas thinking? Is there any way this alliance could be justified? Talk about it in the comments!