Bones -- "The Critic in the Cabernet"
This week on Bones, a wine critic is turned into a not-so-lovely cabernet, Stewie Griffin (Family Guy) guest stars (can a cartoon guest star?), and Dr. Brennan wants a baby... wait, what? Say that again? Yeah, the Jeffersonian crew was just as speechless. We'll get this episode's mystery out of the way so we can concentrate on the far juicier "hey, Booth, how's about knocking me up?" storyline. Tons 'o fun!
Some hoity-toity types are walking around Bedford Creek Winery tasting various vintages while the viticulturalist (that'd be a dude who studies grapes) blathers on about "top notes of this" and "hints of that", etc. The last cask was sealed in 1997 and promises to be an extraordinary wine. Everyone does a spit take however, because it tastes like vinegar and one glass even has a human finger in it. Yummy!
The bones have become gelatinous by the wine-turned-vinegar in the cask, and the lab crew is busy straining the soup to find all the pieces. Mr. Fisher, ever the ray of sunshine, muses, "we're all just one step away from dissolving into the primordial ooze." On that happy note, they identify the victim as Spencer Holt, a wine critic who's been missing for a year, leaving a pregnant wife behind.
The list of suspects includes:
That's because the bottle used to kill Holt, having a lower glass concentration, was a counterfeit. Dunwood was faking Bedford Creek wine, putting his $3 swill into $100 bottles so he could make enough money to fight Mortenson's lawsuits. Holt found out, so Dunwood killed him.
Be my baby daddy
During one of their sessions, Sweets has them do an exercise where Booth says a word and Brennan responds. After Brennan finally gets a hang of the word association thing (repeatedly answering Booth's "whoa!" with "horse!". Ha!), she bursts out with "I want a baby."
Booth is sold on the idea, so he goes to the sperm bank. After being ushered into the "donation room", he starts freaking out. Oh, and Stewie Griffin is on the TV and talking directly to him. "Why are you here at the bank Booth? You've got a hot doctor friend, go to her and make a direct deposit like a real man. Hmmm?" He manages to make his donation however, and the lab determines his "swimmers" are good.
While interrogating Dunwood, Booth hallucinates Stewie admonishing him for abandoning his baby.
Everyone handles the news differently. Brennan, with tears in her eyes, "I just want all of you to know, statistically he should be fine." Sweets is freaking out, in a very non-professional way, and Hodgins suggests to Angela that they get back together.
Then we see Booth in a hospital bed, all alone, looking around for Brennan. He smiles when he sees her, and then looks scared.
As they're wheeling him into the operating room, Booth says, "listen Bones, if I don't make it. I want you to have my stuff, for a kid. I want you to. You're going to be a really good mom." They enter the OR holding hands. Well done on the part of Boreanaz and Deschanel -- we're verklempt!
Next week on Bones: Season Finale! Zack is back! Motley Crue! Oh, and the whole gang finds themselves murder suspects.
Quotables
The bones have become gelatinous by the wine-turned-vinegar in the cask, and the lab crew is busy straining the soup to find all the pieces. Mr. Fisher, ever the ray of sunshine, muses, "we're all just one step away from dissolving into the primordial ooze." On that happy note, they identify the victim as Spencer Holt, a wine critic who's been missing for a year, leaving a pregnant wife behind.
The list of suspects includes:
- Sean Mortenson, owner of the winery. Even though Holt consistently praised Bedford Creek's wines, Mortenson had a pretty good motive. Not only was wife Kim sleeping with Holt, but her infant son is the critic's progeny, not her husband's.
- Jenny Holt, the victim's wife. Holt wanted her to quit her carpentry because the sawdust ruined the bouquet when tasting wine. (Can you say "obnoxious"?) She admits to having marital troubles at the time of his disappearance but she didn't know about the other child.
- Charles Dunwood, owner of the winery next to Bedford Creek. Holt tried to break up a fight at the wine expo between Mortenson and Dunwood. Mortenson wants to buy out Dunwood, thinking his cheap wine is an embarrassment.
That's because the bottle used to kill Holt, having a lower glass concentration, was a counterfeit. Dunwood was faking Bedford Creek wine, putting his $3 swill into $100 bottles so he could make enough money to fight Mortenson's lawsuits. Holt found out, so Dunwood killed him.
Be my baby daddy
During one of their sessions, Sweets has them do an exercise where Booth says a word and Brennan responds. After Brennan finally gets a hang of the word association thing (repeatedly answering Booth's "whoa!" with "horse!". Ha!), she bursts out with "I want a baby."
Booth, when Sweets defends the game as a well-researched therapeutic technique: "oh really? This happens all the time, patients asking for sperm?"Booth and Brennan are debating whether or not she should have a baby and, if so, should he be the father... Brennan tells him, "I know sometimes you don't think I'm empathetic. And it can be difficult for me, sometimes, but I would love my child. Booth, I would."
Sweets: "Well, not this specifically."
Booth is sold on the idea, so he goes to the sperm bank. After being ushered into the "donation room", he starts freaking out. Oh, and Stewie Griffin is on the TV and talking directly to him. "Why are you here at the bank Booth? You've got a hot doctor friend, go to her and make a direct deposit like a real man. Hmmm?" He manages to make his donation however, and the lab determines his "swimmers" are good.
While interrogating Dunwood, Booth hallucinates Stewie admonishing him for abandoning his baby.
Stewie: "Oh, night's deepest gloom washes over my tiny frame!"What's with Booth and the hallucinations? Too much hockey? First the famous hockey player, then the ghost of dead friend, and now Stewie. Brennan looks alarmed and, taking Booth aside, tells him something is very wrong. At the hospital, they determine it's a brain tumor. This type is usually benign, but they're prepping him for immediate surgery.
Booth: "I can't walk away. This is my kid. If I can't be involved, I don't want her to have the baby."
Stewie: "And the sun shines again! Good man Boothie!"
Everyone handles the news differently. Brennan, with tears in her eyes, "I just want all of you to know, statistically he should be fine." Sweets is freaking out, in a very non-professional way, and Hodgins suggests to Angela that they get back together.
Then we see Booth in a hospital bed, all alone, looking around for Brennan. He smiles when he sees her, and then looks scared.
As they're wheeling him into the operating room, Booth says, "listen Bones, if I don't make it. I want you to have my stuff, for a kid. I want you to. You're going to be a really good mom." They enter the OR holding hands. Well done on the part of Boreanaz and Deschanel -- we're verklempt!
Next week on Bones: Season Finale! Zack is back! Motley Crue! Oh, and the whole gang finds themselves murder suspects.
Quotables
Fisher tells Brennan he donates his sperm monthly: "I'm kind of a catch. I can get you my little swimmers at a substantial savings!"
Fisher: "This is weird; something good is happening."
Hodgins: "Take a deep breath, I'm sure it'll pass."
Brennan, expressing her maternal instincts on Jenny Holt's baby: "Dancing phalanges! Dancing phalanges!"