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So, this week a police officer with a deathwish ends up in the hospital after failing The Matrix Training 101 (he falls from a great height when attempting to jump across the gap between two city roofs) as he chases a bad guy with serious parkour skills (and barely hidden safety cables, thanks tv production safety requirements and a tiny cgi budget!). Somehow he survives this dangerous mashup of geek cred and street cred, only to announce to Cameron that he doesn't expect he'll survive much longer anyway (and that's where we got reminded of the Princess Bride...). Cameron didn't just pat his hand and say, "That's nice dear" however. She convinces Foreman/House's team to take up the cause.

The police officer turned 40 a week ago and doesn't expect to survive the year since his father, grandfather and great grandfather all died of heart conditions when they were 40. When House hears about it, he says it's a coincidence. Yep, that's how we know this is the New And Improved House -- Now with less Vicodin!!! He even sends the guy home with a fake diagnosis and some breath mint medicine.

When we found out the patient was found dead in his laundry room four hours later, we truly started to hope that Amber was going to step on screen any minute now. Just look at the clues... er, red herrings they gave us. House does something shocking, a little funny, a little sad and as a result the butt of the joke winds up dead.

But it's okay, he gets better. Yeah. Turns out he wasn't dead yet. Or was only mostly dead. (Pick your geek pop culture reference at will.) He sits up in the middle of his own autopsy, fully alive though understandably screwed up. And this is what made us very, very happy this week. Because Foreman (not our favorite character ever since last season's scientific study shenanigans) leapt a clear mile. We're still giggling over it.

So yeah. Although we think the team lost the differential diagnosis game before it really got started, they still get a few more attempts and do finally win... Thanks to House flirting with Cuddy as they spar over hoops he has to jump through to get his medical license back. He was talking about how she pushes his "buttons" when he realized all this could be caused by an aneurysm pushing on the right nerves. Yay for House's random attacks of genius. Nice to know they're not gone with the vicodin.

Bonus
And this week the mystery of why the hospital rooms are so huge is solved! It's so the nurses can fill up the cavernous space with carts full of medical tools and then walk away, so patients can use said surgical tools to reach into their own mouths and pull out their own perfectly healthy teeth as blood pours over their lips. Gross!

Best Lines:

House: Chase said last week I was the de facto boss around here.
Foreman: Hospitals don't recognize de facto medical licenses.

House: Differential diagnosis for resurrection - go!