So You Think You Can Dance: Beware the Tsetse Fly
The So You Think You Can Dance stop in Salt Lake City had some serious trained competition, but as is often the case with the audition episodes, the less trained competitors are just as (more?) entertaining. We had great hopes for Bryan. His magenta hair with off-center skunky stripe and great attitude were so inviting, and when he said that he wanted to show the world that Utah had something to offer besides jazz dancers, we were enthralled. Mostly because we didn't know that Utah's claim to fame was jazz dancing. It was disappointing when he voluntarily dropped out of the competition 15 minutes into the choreography work.
Tristi was in 25 car accidents in 3 years, always as a passenger. Not sure how this is relevant to her dancing career, and it makes us wonder if someone has it out for this very nice girl because that's an amazing statistic. It also makes us wonder who the hell ever agrees to drive her anywhere, unless they're trying to trash their car. That's not her only misfortune: apparently told her that she should not show up to humiliate herself in front of the entire country.
The next riveting audition was Ariana, a local burlesque performer with the Voodoo Darlings whose stage name is Sateen LaRouge. Stripping for the judges had mixed results! Nigel was a fan (shocking, we know). Mia and Mary, not so much. At least she kept her routine to "PG or PG-13." When her dress came off, her bottoms, sparkly spangly red jobbies, had a big bow on the rear. Nigel asked her to turn around so he could have a better gander, and possibly the best quip of the show was his response.
Nigel: Show me that little bow on the back?There's more after the jump -- keep reading!
Sateen LaRouge: (turns around, wiggles)
Nigel: I'm glad to see you won first prize.
Next up on the "What were you thinking" roster was Pascal, who just feels the music and does what the song tells him to do. This song apparently told him to have a grand mal seizure. Why do some of these "dancers" think that youth + abs = Vegas? He sort of convulsed around stage for a couple of minutes, ripping off his shirt with unintentional hilarity. It refused to leave his body, so he eventually gave up on trying to extricate it and just let it hang in tatters from the waist of his jeans, which was odd given that it wasn't tucked in to begin with. Eventually he stopped the twitching around the stage, putting the audience out of our misery. Mary concluded his performance with her own twitching, asking Mia for help.
We're not fans of cruelty towards sincere contestants for humor's sake, but we have to 100% agree with Nigel on this one. In fact, we think he was being a little kind and restrained. Perhaps Pascal's future is better served as a performance artist rather than a dancer.
On the upside, the lovely (if overly made-up and emerald-attired) Iveta from Lithuania will be a delight to watch once the Vegas episodes air. She's a cold war gem complete with thick accent and tales of growing up with Soviet Union control.
We can expect the producers to help us watch her succeed and live the American Dream.
The last two pairs of dancers for the evening were both ballroom pairs, and both danced to Lady Gaga. So we learned two things this episode: Utah is jazz dancer central, and Lady Gaga is the best music for showing off your ballroom technique. The final contestants of the evening were Leigh and Josh. Leigh was so into the performance that she actually ripped off her big toenail. (!) This impressed the judges enough that they sent her straight through to Vegas (Nigel: You nailed it!) , and charmingly, her dance partner swept her off of her feet and carried her to the judge's table to retrieve her ticket to Vegas. It was a moment reminiscent of the 1996 Olympics, but with ballroom dancers rather than gymnasts.
Oh, Utah, our time together was too short. Next, Vegas!
Mary: Mia! Help me! The demons have been exorcised!
Nigel: I don't know what that style was. It started off like bad food poisoning and then it was like you were bitten by the Tsetse fly...You are just running around that stage having a conniption fit with yourself.
We're not fans of cruelty towards sincere contestants for humor's sake, but we have to 100% agree with Nigel on this one. In fact, we think he was being a little kind and restrained. Perhaps Pascal's future is better served as a performance artist rather than a dancer.
On the upside, the lovely (if overly made-up and emerald-attired) Iveta from Lithuania will be a delight to watch once the Vegas episodes air. She's a cold war gem complete with thick accent and tales of growing up with Soviet Union control.
Iveta: I somehow could see myself in United States. I always imagined that America was a very very special, a country with money growing on trees, and everybody goes there and has the best life ever!
We can expect the producers to help us watch her succeed and live the American Dream.
The last two pairs of dancers for the evening were both ballroom pairs, and both danced to Lady Gaga. So we learned two things this episode: Utah is jazz dancer central, and Lady Gaga is the best music for showing off your ballroom technique. The final contestants of the evening were Leigh and Josh. Leigh was so into the performance that she actually ripped off her big toenail. (!) This impressed the judges enough that they sent her straight through to Vegas (Nigel: You nailed it!) , and charmingly, her dance partner swept her off of her feet and carried her to the judge's table to retrieve her ticket to Vegas. It was a moment reminiscent of the 1996 Olympics, but with ballroom dancers rather than gymnasts.
Oh, Utah, our time together was too short. Next, Vegas!