And I read this article.

I was flabbergasted. Not for the fact it was the first thing I saw but for other more "personal" reasons. Could not figure out if I was frustrated, disappointed or just plain old amused. Perhaps a combination of all.

Getting up on soapbox ...

Now, in no way am I trying to put blame on anyone. Just making a few comments about something that irks the crap out of me. As I read the article a few things jumped out at me and I wanted to make one or two points on this article (which was well written, in my opinion).

Let me preface my remarks with some disclosures. First, I am not married. Second, I really don't date that much. Third, I have a wonderful daughter that gives me insight to the feelings of these women.

Let's start with the last item. My daughter has two great role models as parents in her life. Me and her mom. Although we have different views on certain things, we are pretty much on the same page when it comes to our daughter. In fact, we were coming back to Wellington from Jacksonville on Saturday and our daughter made a pretty interesting statement.

Basically she said she appreciated how well we (her mom and me) worked as a team with her even though we are divorced. She said thanks for being good parents because she has seen how some of her friends' divorced parents act and she is glad we get along so well, even though we are divorced. Made me feel proud of how her mom and I decided to raise her. I couldn't ask for a better mom for her.

The key fact here is that we work as a mother and father. Something the children in this article probably will not experience. And that is sad ... for both the children and the women in the article.

Reading some of the comments on the article rang true to me. In many ways, this is a selfish act (a woman having a child with no father on purpose). Keep in mind that society view women in this role very much differently than men.

This comment, "Some are high-powered career women who can afford full-time nannies" smacks of the South Florida moral vaccuum to me. If you aren't going to raise your child, but rather chose to hire someone to do it for you, what possible rational reason do you have for giving birth to a child that isn't a selfish one? I can't see one.

Continuing on with this, I don't care what line of reasoning you can come up with, there is no good viable answer to this question -- "Why don't I have a daddy?" Of course you could always use the truth ... but that would require some self disclosure and a high level of self esteem to recognize and acknowlege said truth.

Don't get me wrong ... I do not blame these women. I blame those die-hard feminists who have been telling women for decades that they can have it all ... a rewarding career, a full family life and a rewarding and exciting (i.e., romantic) life with their spouse. For centuries, men have known this isn't true.

You have to make compromises. And compromise is not the same as "settling". When you compromise you make a decision. A simple one ... I may not like something, but you know, I can live with it. It goes something like this, "Well I know he'll probably take off his socks and leave them on the floor instead of throwing them in the hamper. It ticks me off, but I can live with it since overall he is a great guy."

Getting off soapbox ...

But the larger picture here is that raising a child is tough when two parents are actively involved. Doing it by yourself is tough. Really tough.

I understand the desire to have a family. In fact, it probably is the best thing that has happened to me. Doing it all by myself would be a challenge. I can't imagine doing it without the help of a spouse.

All I would encourage these folks is that they think about first. And make sure it isn't a selfish decision.

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