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November 29, 2006

Show your support for the Green . . . I mean . . SEXY Grocer.

Too many mornings to count, I've woken up for work at 1:30 AM, "adjusted" my sleepwear, bounced off a couple of walls into my kitchen, blindly tossed a few handfuls of cereal in my mouth, let out a full-body yawn, and thought to myself . . . "DAMN, am I sexy!" But I'm only one cog in the sexy machine that is the WGN Morning News. Paul Konrad, Val Warner, Audio Bob- people follow us around with buckets, just to collect the sexiness dripping off. So tell me, why are none of us candidates for Redeye's "Sexiest Chicago TV Personality?"

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It's part of Redeye's "Sexy Chicago" poll. Anna Davlantes, Rob Johnson, Mark Giangreco, Tamron Hall- each an attractive personality. But none possesses the raw animal magnetism of our #1 sex symbol . . . Johnny Lerro. You know him by his adult film star name . . . "The Green Grocer." You've seen him massage an avocado. Ladies, imagine those hands massaging your back.

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Now just because "The Green" (that's what we call him around here) isn't one of Redeye's candidates, that doesn't mean he can't be their winner. That's why we're organizing a a write-in campaign for him. I've included a link to Redeye's webpage poll. What you need to do is find the question pertaining to "Local TV Personality," click on write-in, and type in "Johnny Lerro."

I call on all of our loyal viewers. If you care about our show, if you care about us, you will help right this terrible sexy wrong.

What ever happened to Weir, Barz, Tellez, Huttner...

A common question people who have been watching the show ask is..."What ever happened to..."

I want to give a couple of quick updates for those of you who might be interested.

I'll start with Bill Weir.

Bill left WGN about 8 years ago thinking he would hit it big in Hollywood or Los Angeles.
He is now homeless and living on the streets of Laredo, TX.
He developed a severe twitch and rash that ended his television career.
Every so often I see a story on him at ABC Network News.

What happened to Mike Barz?

Mike left a sports job here about 2 years ago and has just finished undergoing a complete sex change.
He is working in Vegas as a transgendered showgirl/stripper.
He loves his work and says he has never made more money and felt so complete.
(Larry & I went out and saw one of his shows. It was unbelievable!!!)
We miss him and wish him nothing but the best.
I think I saw a story done on him by either Oprah or Good Morning America. (Both shows are from the Devil.)

Roseanne Tellez
Roseanne left here after anchoring our show for about 8 years.
She was the absolute best & HOT.
Roseanne moved to Austria, became a nun and a nanny to a widower and his 7 children.
She spends her time teaching the children about singing, playing and love.
She and Captain Von Trapp fell in love and have started a whole new life together in Austria.
I understand there is some interest in doing a movie or musical on her life.

Randy Salerno
Randy is now working as a hand and leg model. He lives in Paris and is reportedly either sleeping with or romantically involved with Queen Elizabeth. They are apparently inseparable. I miss him terribly.

That's all I have for now. If I learn any more, I'll let you know.
Konrad

DEAN'S MOVIE REVIEWS AND RECAP

HERE'S WHAT OPENED OVER THE HOLIDAY WEEKEND AND WHAT I THOUGHT OF IT. THERE'S ALSO A RECAP OF THE BEST NEW FILMS OUT THERE RIGHT NOW. WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THEM?
DEAN

THE FILM THAT TELLS THE STORY OF THE DAY THAT BOBBY KENNEDY WAS KILLED FROM THE PRESPECTIVE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAPPENED TO BE IN THE HOTEL THAT DAY, "BOBBY" IS SLOW BUILDOING, BUT WORTH IT...AND HISTORICALLY INSPIRING. A DEAN'S LIST "A."

JACK BLACK'S, "TENACIOUS D AND THE PICK OF DESTINY" IS NOT ONLY FUNNY BUT A GREAT ROCK AND ROLL MUSICAL...AN "A."

I LOVED PENELOPE CRUZ' QUIRKY, SPANISH LANGUAGE "VOLVER", A "B PLUS"

DENZEL WASHINGTON'S TIME TRAVEL COP STORY, "DEJA VU" WAS WELL ACTED BUT THE STORY IS WEAK. A "C MINUS."

THE WORST OF THE WEEK IS "THE FOUNTAIN"...A MULTI-LAYERED, OVERLY ARTSY STAB AT A STORY OF ETERNAL LIFE AND LOVE WITH HUGH JACKMAN AND RACHEL WEISZ. A STYLE OVER SUBSTANCE, "D MINUS."

OF WHAT'S OUT RIGHT NOW...

THE FUNNIEST MOVIE OUT THERE, BUT NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH, IS "BORAT"

CHRISTOPHER GUEST'S "FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION" IS ALSO IN KEEPING WITH HIS OTHER FILMS, "BEST IN SHOW" AND "WAITING FOR GUFFMAN."

THE NEW JAMES BOND MOVIE, CASINO ROYALE, MAY BE ONE OF THE BEST.

"FAST FOOD NATION" IS A STUNNING DRAMATIZATION BASED ON THE BEST SELLING BOOK THAT'LL CHANGE THE WAY YOU EAT OUT...

DON'T MISS MARTIN SCORCESE'S "THE DEPARTED"

HUGH JACKMAN'S "THE PRESTIGE"...

OR CLINT EASTWOOD'S "FLAGS OF OUR FATHERS" BEFORE THEY GO AWAY.

AND FOR THE KIDS, IT'S THE ANIMATED "hAPPY FEET" OR "FLUSHED AWAY"

November 28, 2006

Nothing New

This morning we did a story on the air about new research that found women talk three times more than men. It also said how much women love to gossip, hearing their own voices and blah, blah, blah. Just to prove that research wrong. I have nothing to say this week!

Really, I'm tapped out. I feel sick and actually don't feel like talking. I'll be better next week.
Feel free to write me though. I'm a great listener.

November 27, 2006

PROFESSOR'S FORMULA FOR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

The holidays are so rushed and full of pressure. Before you know it, your brother gets a gift certificate, your Aunt Myrtle gets the instant animated Santa e-greeting, and you get the feeling that hardly any thought goes into the season anymore.

So I was inspired when I came across the story of "Professor" William Mealing, a man who kept up the spirit of Christmas throughout the year. His bright suits and shiny jewelry were as festive as a Christmas tree, and his stories were just as colorful. I recently discovered him while doing some research.

Professor Mealing started an after-school basketball program for boys at Our Lady of Mt. Carmel Elementary School on Belmont. Despite always falling behind on his own rent, he used his own money to buy the kids trophies. But he was more than a gym teacher. He was an African-American living in a mostly white Lakeview neighborhood, and he was the neighborhood mentor, known by some as the "Pied Piper" of Lakeview, according to Tribune reports.

Mealing traveled the world, knew famous people, and owned luxurious homes. At least, that's what he told the kids.

Gary Dong was one of those kids. The year was 1973. The self-proclaimed professor took the 6th-grader and his friends to concerts and to dinner. Mealing set standards--requiring them to dress appropriately-- and he taught them dining etiquette.

"It means a lot to take time. My parents didn't have time to show us. They both worked," Dong told me. "He was always up on your work and he'd always check up on us with teachers."

But all is not always what it seems. Nobody really knew where the good professor came from, and he was prone to grandiose stories. However, they felt they could trust him.

Dong said that as he grew older he learned more about his mysterious mentor's life from Mealing himself. He believes Mealing's mom was a maid for a wealthy family near North Lake Shore Drive. When something happened to his mom, the wealthy family adopted him.

"So he had this opportunity that others didn't. He got an education," Dong explained.

When he was in his 60s, Mealing apparently enrolled in math and history courses at Truman College. He never married.

"If I'd had a child of my own," the Tribune once quoted Mealing as saying, "how could I have ever [kept] up with all the other children I have to worry about?"

On June 27, 2002, Mealing, died of cardiovascular disease. It's unclear how old he was; his obituary speculates he may have been 100.

Dong went to Mealing's small, cluttered, basement apartment to clean it out after he died. The professor kept all the things kids had given him over the years--letters, postcards, graduation photos-- spread on poster board, the refrigerator and in photo albums.

Dong, 44, is now a dentist in Chicago. He has two children.

"Now that I reflect… he had no ulterior motive, but to give people a good start," Dong said.

Mealing's legacy? His generosity--not so much the money he scraped up for the kids cleaning houses, but his time.

Maybe it's not as glamorous as an Xbox or as practical as a gift certificate, but these days, time is at a premium, and it's a far better investment for both the person who gives and the person who receives.--

November 25, 2006

Flipping the switch

The Holidays are off to a great start in Chicago. We can't complain: perfect weather, good bargains (judging by all the people who slept overnight at a store's parking lot and then trampled each other when the doors opened @ 5AM in the spirit of the season) and the city can't look more beautiful. I was honored to help the Mayor of my favorite city in the US to light the Christmas tree in Daley Plaza. I say honored for many reasons. First, because I've only been at WGN for a little over a year and to receive this invitation was a nice recognition that I've become a part of this city. Secondly, because I got to see thousands of you taking in the REAL spirit of the season, caroling together and peacefully celebrating. But I think I was most flattered because I truly love this city.

As many of you know, I was born and raised in San Juan, Puerto Rico. My Christmases were NEVER white, I only know the chorus lines of most carols in English and my immediate family lives there. When people ask me where I'm from, even after living in the US mainland for more that 10 years and marrying into a true Chicago family, my immediate response is "I'm from Puerto Rico". I'm very, very proud of being from another culture, from a tiny island and making it in the big city. But ever since I've returned to Chicago from New York (I lived here for 6 years before leaving to NYC. For more info read my bio) I've know from the bottom of my heart that I have a second hometown. Chicago has welcomed me since the day I got here all by myself 10 years ago at age 21. It has been the city that made me a professional and a well rounded adult. I met my husband here and, as I said, now have a true Chicago family and identity. When I lived in NY, I defended this town's honor from everyone who would say that there's nothing here to see. Just as I encourage everyone to visit my island, I have become the number one ambassador to the windy city.

So, to be invited to dress it up for Christmas and see Chicago in all its shinny holiday splendor has been one of the highlights of my career. When I was a Spanish news reporter in Chicago and covered this event, I always thought of one day being the one to flip the switch with the Mayor in front of the Picasso statue and the brat vendors from the Chriskindl market. (Only in Chicago you get this kind of cultural diversity). That's why being on that stage and saying hello to many of my fellow Chicagoans filled my heart with joy. I have to thank the Chicago office of Special Events for the invitation, our viewers for embracing me and Chicago for making me one of it's very own. Now when they ask me where I'm from I'll say Puerto Rico AND Chicago. Happy Holidays everybody!!!

November 23, 2006

Angry Weatherboy Gives Thanks

Lately I've run into more and more people who have been wondering if everyone on the show is as angry as it seems on TV.

In general the answer is no.

Robin is crazy angry...but in some way it's part of her charm.

She blames it on her "Crazy Parents". (Ask me, her parents seem normal)

Anyway, I don't think we're any angrier than anyone else who wakes up in the middle of the night.

As a matter of fact, I think all of us have a deep gratitude for where we are in our careers and for our friends, families and loved ones.

We also hold deep gratitude toward the people who decide to watch us every morning. So, thanks.

I really believe that each of us would say that we are humbled at how generous God has been with us...

So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I will confess that I am thankful for the 10 years I've been here. (I am especially thankful for Larry's weekly warm embrace. (Great hands))

I am especially thankful for the marvelous friendships that I have been fortunate enough to enjoy. (I am ready for Pat to move out of my extra bedroom...It's been 16 months now...get your own place buddy.)

This is a fun job and in spite of all we say... a great place to work.

I am thankful to be here.

Not.

Just kidding.

Konrad

p.s. Don't be mistaken...I am still very angry about being overlooked for employee of the month for 124 months in a row. I have been royally screwed!!!

November 22, 2006

THE THANKSGIVING DETAILS YOU MIGHT'VE MISSED

One of my oldest possessions is a miniature Plymouth Rock that I must’ve gotten as a souvenier during a field trip in Kindergarten 1973 to Plimoth Plantation, where you can see the “real” rock. When you grow up in Boston, history is real. Some of the streets and structures still stand, or at least have been recreated, so you are surrounded by history. Of course, even in Boston, children got the sanitized version of everything: The Pilgrims enjoyed a lovely sail across the water and Squanto was at the shore with a gift-basket with wine and poutpourri. Oh sure, the Indians did teach the Pilgrims about planting corn--it was all organic, without the thumb-rings and lip-piercings of the Whole Foods workforce. They all sat down at a very long table, with very tall buckled hats and the evening culminated with a "shirts and skins" two-hand touch game.

Once you get out of elementary shool, it seems Thanksgiving becomes a holiday without meaning or character. I always feel like that scene in The Simpsons, where Marge does her darnedest to prepare a lovely family meal, with candles, and all the trimmings. Then, Homer, Bart and Lisa fly down the stairs, gobble the grub in pandemonium, burp, spew a casual “thanks mom” and move on their merry way. So when I have young relatives at the holiday table, I take a page out of the Passover playbook, and have people around the table read a passage or two from the real Thanksgiving story, without the cornucopia of cartoonism.

I remember in third grade, making a Thanksgiving mural and my Pilgrims were proportionately about two feet taller than the Indians. They are bigger than life in our stories but that is not the complete picture. The Massachusetts Turnpike used to have signs with Pilgrim hats and an arrow through them. That tells you---there’s a little more to the story. They headed towards Massachusetts when they were blown 220 miles off course, and then they started to run out of beer (really—it was safer than water.) Before the Mayflower “hit Plymouth Rock” a scouting party stole some corn, and at least 30 Indians attacked them with arrows, according to Nathaniel Philbrick’s book “Mayflower.”

He writes that unlike the Founding Fathers, the Pilgrims believed they were guided more by God, than reason and as long as the Indians were loyal, there would be no problems. Religious tolerance wasn’t in their playbook, but when they were starving, they were a little more willing to listen to native wisdom.

The farming lessons weren’t free. Massasoit, had a secret agenda. What many people don’t realize, is that the Pilgrims landed in the middle of a political power struggle among Indian tribes. To make a long story short, Philbrick writes that this led to violence that spread among various alliances that crossed racial lines and created mass confusion.

The first Pilgrims tried to live in peace among the tribes, but their children and grandchildren engaged in ethnic cleansing and slave trading. Ultimately, Philbrick writes, the New Englanders destroyed their forefathers’ way of life. So you see, The Pilgrim chapter isn't just one hard winter of thanks and peace, but an epic story of surviving disease and warfare; something that’s worth remembering before overindulging in big portions and small talk.


November 21, 2006

The Rocketteer

keyframe205_240.jpg I still don't know how in God's name I convinced Robbie Gould to dance like a Rockette. There's really no single embarrassing thing he did that I can point to. Everything just seemed to blend together into the equivalent a big, loud, accidental fart on a first date- maybe it was the orange sweater and polyester pants, which made him look more like Dave from "Alvin and the Chipmunks," than the second-leading scorer in the NFL.

If any of Robbie's teammates saw the segment, they will undoubtedly mock him mercilessly. But what they (and you) didn't get to see, was how much attention Robbie got from 6 gorgeous, professional dancers. Now don't read anything into this- all of the ladies were respectful, wholesome, and worthy of the title "Rockette." However . . . you'd have thought Tom Jones entered the room. Or, whoever else women find attractive.

I have a decent little following myself. You watch our Voicemail segments. You hear the middle-aged women say how they want me over their house for dinner. I didn't get HALF the attention Robbie got. And I still had my makeup on! I was working my swarthy, George Hamilton look. Still had the suit on and everything. Couldn't have competed.

The Rockettes were as giddy as school-girls. And in me just saying that, I may have combined two of the most common male fantasies. Point is, this is the power of being a professional athlete. It helps that Robbie is a handsome guy, and might I add, pretty smooth with the ladies. But . . . he IS a kicker. A kicker! And if people go this nuts over a kicker, how does Brian Urlacher leave his house?

WATCH THE VIDEO


November 20, 2006

Alfonso Soriano: Good for the Cubs, bad for me?

keyframe54_113.jpgGlad I'm under contract for a few years. Could you imagine trying to re-negotiate now? "Gee, Pat, we'd love to give you a bump, but we're kind of tied up with Alfonso for the next 8 years. Can you wait until then?" Don't think I'm taking a shot at Tribune now- quite the contrary. $136 million is unthinkable money! And I'd pay him before I paid me too! I didn't hit 41 homeruns last year. I didn't even SAY "homerun" 41 times last year.

I'm glad the Cubs landed Soriano. If anybody deserves to make $34,979.42 an hour, it's this guy. He swings that bat like a lumberjack and runs like a gazelle! But I fear for myself and my WGN teammates. A month or so ago, some upper management types started floating the idea of a new holiday charitable donation- to The Alfonso Fund. At the time, most of us thought it had something to do with the guy who played Carlton on "Fresh Prince of Bel Air,"or maybe there was a little boy named Alfonso who wasn't good at math or something. But now I have my doubts.

Then there was the "Brown Bag" program they suggested. I assumed we'd be providing surplus and donated edible fruits, vegetables and other food products to low income individuals 60 years of age and older, much like they do in the great state of California. But I've since heard that no, they actually want us to bring our lunches IN BROWN BAGS. The money budgeted for our cafeteria could finance one of Soriano's at-bats.

I hope my doubts are just those- doubts. I don't want my volunteer spirit to die because of a growing suspicion that I might not benefit personally from the Soriano signing. I'm hoping for a Cubs winner like everyone else, but I'm also hoping for open bar at the WGN Holiday Party.

You have lipstick on your teeth

"You have lipstick on your teeth." I get that every morning from my coworkers, people I interview or even random folks that stop me to say hello. And I usually hear it right after I'm off the air so that all of Chicago has already seen my painted front teeth. Women out there will understand that when that happens you feel like the clumsiest human being alive, I've been putting lipstick on for since I was 13 or so and I still can get it right. What does that say about me??!!!I

Why does this happen?
Is it the brand, is it that I'm putting to much lipgloss on the lipstick, is it that I open my mouth while I apply allowing the waxy paint to get on my two front teeth? I need an answer so I can avoid it completely. I know the solutions, but they annoy me and frankly gross me out. I don't want to stick my finger all the way into my mouth and pull it out with that awful ring of lipstick around it. Inevitably you end up with more goo on your finger than on your teeth and when you don't have a napkin handy, how do you wipe it off? That takes me to the other solution, press your lips on a napkin. Sure, that works but it dries my lips up and then if you don't have a trash can close by, you leave the napkin just laying around with that funky looking lip mark.

If you are out there with the magic wand that will apply only on my lips or you have the technique that I lack to avoid the embarassment of having good looking men, prominent show guests and regular folk to point to their own teeth and say "You have lipstick on your teeth", please speak up.

I'm so grateful...

This past weekend made me realize, all over again, how grateful I am to be here in Chicago. As we get closer to the Thanksgiving holiday, I figured I'd get a little sentimental for this entry.

I am so glad to be in this beautiful city with my family. Saturday night, my co-workers and I got together for the Magnificent Mile Lights Festival, and let me tell you, Downtown was absolutely beautiful with the lights and all. The company on the float was good. The crowd was great. The fireworks were spectacular! I left there and met my family at Navy Pier to see Happy Feet and then had a wonderful dinner. While this may not sound like anything super special to some.....it was wonderful for me. Here's why. For years my family has been separated all over the country and now we are all able to be together living in the same city just minutes from each other. And we aren't just together in any ol' city.....we are IN CHICAGO.....ONE THE BEST CITIES IN AMERICA!!!!!!!! For that, this Thanksgiving, I am grateful.

I could go on, about how grateful I am for the job I have, a healthy little girl at home, a wonderful husband and so forth.....but I'll save that for my family at the dinner table this Thursday at my house. c-ya.

November 17, 2006

Q&A WITH PILGRIM

In conjunction with my Red Eye column Friday, I spoke with John Kemp, who is a real life make-believe Pilgrim from Plimoth Plantation in Plymouth Massachusetts.

Why do we have such a sanitized perception of the Pilgrims?
The "Pilgrim Story" has evolved over more than two hundred years--generally with a lot of idealizing (perhaps more than sanitizing). Sixty years ago, George Willison's Saints and Strangers stirred up at least as much controversy as Philbrick has this year.
Going back to the 18th century, back to the beginning both of this country and of the popularized Pilgrim Story, the "founding fathers" of our American Revolution saw the Pilgrims as "forefathers" in their own democratic image. Somehow, the voices of loyalist or Tory Mayflower descendants (many of whom fled to Nova Scotia or back to England) were drowned out--though they were much closer to voices heard in Plymouth during the 1620s. Then, in succeeding generations, great Victorians of the romantic age like Daniel Webster, Abraham Lincoln, and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow popularized the Pilgrims as right-minded, patriotic, romantically virtuous and appealing. Professor John Seelye, in his Memory's Nation: the Place of Plymouth Rock, quotes the young Ralph Waldo Emerson kneeling on Plymouth Rock in 1834, where he "felt that it was grown more important by the growth of this nation." And Seelye gives many other examples of the growing sacramental power of Plymouth's rock. What mattered was the transcendental meaning of the Pilgrims, not who the colonists actually were or what they might have thought of latter-day pilgrimages. Making a shrine of Plymouth Rock? What would any good Calvinist think? (And with the post-Civil War erection of a pagan Greco-Roman temple over The Rock, we might wonder how the RPM's have increased as poor William Bradford spins in his grave.)
In the 20th century, between Madison Avenue, Hollywood, and the tendency toward video simplification, the stereotypical Pilgrim has become increasingly familiar--until every other generation or so, a Philbrick or a Willison breaks through with a new vision of the Plymouth's "Old Colony"--as it really was.

The Pilgrims landed in power struggle.... what was the struggle, and how did Chief Massasoit manipulate the Pilgrims to his advantage? What was the result?

There has been much speculation (based on colonial sources) about rivalry between the Wampanoag and the Narragansett. This speculation has led to a theory that Massasoit was trying to exploit an alliance with the English in order to strengthen his own authority. However, the bias of colonial sources makes speculation about Wampanoag motives highly unreliable.

Is there anything the Pilgrims did that can make us truly thankful?

In early Plymouth Colony, a Thanksgiving was observed as a day of worship, a Holy Day. The Wampanoag held a similar respect for the sacredness of Thanksgiving observances. As Philbrick and Willison (and many other historians) have pointed out, both the colonists and the Wampanoag were far more complex than the familiar stereotypes. Yet if these two different cultures share attitudes towards thanksgiving that contrast with our own, then perhaps they can help us to reconsider our values and customs; and by this reconsideration, we may strengthen our own way of living and thanksgiving.
Those of us who truly love freedom can be grateful that the Pilgrim became a powerful symbol during the American Revolution, helping to define an inspiring national identity and strengthening the resolve of struggling patriots. Similarly, those who are grateful for the abolition of American slavery should recognize that Daniel Webster was not alone in finding Pilgrim inspiration for the first beginnings of Abolitionism and for the far greater sufferings and sacrifices of the Civil War.

November 16, 2006

Helping GI's

I could write about dancing the polka, the holiday windows at Macy's or even pocket puppies, all stories that I've covered in the last week, but I would rather talk about Support Our Troops Illinois. Last Thursday, Around Town took me to a small warehouse in Lisle, IL were parents, relatives, veterans volunteer to prepare care packages for soldiers who are currently in conflict zones, primarily Iraq and Afghanistan.

The group was created by soldiers' parents working from their own kitchens, but the outpour of support has been so great that group is currently in a warehouse where they receive all sorts of supplies and goodies for the GI's. Peanut butter and slim jims are the most requested items but these perfectly packed boxes include everything from socks to cds.

The assembly line works like a charm and the thank you notes from appreciative soldiers decorate the warehouse walls. School groups and individuals are constantly dropping by with donations. But what touched me the most is that Support Our Troops, Illinois has also become a support group for awaiting families that, many times, are fearing the worst. Mother after mother, father after father told me how packing these boxes next to other people in their same situation was incredibly comforting.

In that Lisle warehouse there is constant laughter, except when a nosy reporter with a hard name to pronounce starts asking about the kids or the husbands that are away. Tears come pouring out just thinking about the loved one you haven't seen in almost a year, or the one that has been to Iraq twice and is getting ready to leave for a 3rd tour. That's when I saw the support first hand. Just with a certain look these men and women tell each other "we are in this together and we understand your pain". One mother told me she is scared to death but proud as hell. A mixed emotion that only a relative of a GI understand. For these worried folks it's not about the war being wrong or right, it's about getting to see your first born alive again and making sure he or she has all the support they need while living in combat.

So when you help Support Our Troops Illinois, which I hope you do, you're not only helping those in harms way but the many families left behind in constant vigil. Their website has all the info you need, www.osotil.org
By way, last year five thousand GI's received a care package from Support Our Troops, Illinois.

November 15, 2006

WHY IS CAMERAMAN DRAKE SO TIRED? (see below)

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...BECAUSE HE'S UP SAVING THE WORLD EVERY NIGHT!

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November 14, 2006

Moose Droppings

keyframe156_140.jpg Bears wide receiver Muhsin Muhammad chatted with Pat Tomasulo on the WGN Morning News this morning, even giving Pat some pointers on how to do his Moose touchdown celebration.

November 10, 2006

ROCK PAPER SCISSORS

Graham Walker and his brother, Douglas, were camping one weekend in 1995 and when neither wanted to leave the cottage to get firewood, they solved the stalemate with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Graham won. When Douglas came back to the cottage, they got hooked on RPS---they noticed there was a little more to it than hand-gestures. Now, they run the World Rock Paper Scissors Society in Toronto. Tomorrow, they will host 500 players competing for the World Rock Paper Scissors Championship.

“It’s probably the best excuse to go on a road trip,” said Graham Walker, 39. “You can walk in the door, and leave a champion.”

In a time of international conflict, I am not suggesting that this childhood game could bring together the Sunni and the Shia. However, it might help end an argument with the wife about whether you can purchase the 60 inch plasma, thus preserving your marriage. If nothing else, people are getting off their cushion and into the game. You can’t hit an 80 mile an hour curveball, but you CAN throw a rock, paper, or scissor. That’s all you need to know, to experience the championship stage. People come from around the world to experience the thrill of the lights and cameras, knowing that it could be all over in just four throws of the fist.

“The strategy is to play randomly…but humans are incapable of being random. Humans always fall into patterns,” Walker said.

While champions attract beautiful groupies, I am not sure “Rock Paper Scissors Champ” is going to keep your winning streak alive with the ladies at the bars in Lincoln Park. But at the RPS event in Toronto, even the losers stand a chance---how could their be any pretentiousness?

“It’s cool, crazy, weird and fun” Graham said. “You have 750 like-minded people out to have a good time. Everyone has three things in common: rock, paper and scissors.”

The lack of time, skill, and endurance are leading more people to join leagues for organized kickball, Electric Football, and even Shin-kicking tournaments. Face it---you’d look pretty dumb playing touch football with a bunch of 12 year olds.

Besides, People are growing tired of artificially-enhanced athletes, with their self-absorbed theatrics. Don’t see a sport you like to watch or play? Invent your own! In the summer of '79 my friends and I played Frisbee golf through city streets, trying to hit telephone poles while avoiding the “bunkers”---windows and El Caminos. Maybe someday, professional sports executives will learn a lesson, and we can stop paying $300 to bring a family to the ballgame.

“We’re more participatory in this country now and people have the opportunity to do something; run a marathon, splash someone with a paintball; that’s more satisfying than sitting in the stands," said NWU Prof. Irving Rein, author of The Elusive Fan: Reinventing Sports in a Crowded Marketplace. "I don’t think that football and basketball are being barraged by these extreme sports, but what you’re seeing is the numbers going up. The question here is—something’s got to give, eventually.”

But even a child’s game can become vulnerable to the pressures of big league sports. There is now another RPS league in the U.S. which has added beer girls, big prizes and racy videos, to compete with the "high-brow" World RPS in Toronto. The two organizations don’t seem to like each other much….but put the lawyers on hold and settle it like a champ---let the fists fly.

Dean reviews "Stranger Than Fiction", "A Good year" and "Harsh Times."

"STRANGER THAN FICTION"

3 NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND...THE FIRST ONE, A WILL FERRELL COMEDY...BUT NOT A TYPICAL WILL FERRELL COMEDY.

SLAPSTICK IS REPLACED BY SOPHISTICATION. IT'S "STRANGER THAN FICTION", IN WHICH HE'S A SAD LITTLE IRS AGENT WHO IS HEARING THINGS. HE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HEAR A VOICE THAT'S NARRATING THE STORY OF HIS LIFE.

EMMA THOMPSON IS A NOVELIST WORKING ON HER LATEST BOOK. FERRELL'S CHARACTER CAN "HEAR" WHAT SHE'S WRITING AND IT'S ALL COMING TRUE IN HIS LIFE. WHEN HE REALIZES HE'S ABOUT TO BE KILLED OFF, SO HE HAS TO FIND "THE VOICE" AND, WITH THE HELP OF A LITERATURE PROFESSOR, DUSTIN HOFFMAN, TRY STOP HIS FINAL CHAPTER.

EVERYONE IN THIS ENSEMBLE IS GREAT, ESPECIALLY WILL, SHOWING OFF THAT HE'S A LOT MORE THAN RICKEY BOBBY.

IT'S A CLEVER, SOMETIMES TOO CLEVER, FANTASY ABOUT MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE THATS MORE THOUGHTFUL AND OBSERVATIONAL, THAN LAUGH OUT LOUD FUNNY.

THE FILM WAS MADE HERE IN CHICAGO, SO IT GETS EXTRA POINTS FOR ALL OF THE FAMILIAR SIGHTS.
"STRANGER THAN FICTION"; SMARTER THAN MOST.
MAYBE TOO SMART TO BE A HIT. I LIKED IT. A DEAN'S LIST "B PLUS."

"A GOOD YEAR"
IN "A GOOD YEAR", MAX SKINNER, IS A "LIFE IN THE FAST LANE", RUTHLESS JERK. WHEN A BELOVED UNCLE DIES AND LEAVES HIM THE SERENE, FRENCH VINEYARD AT WHICH HE GREW UP, HE IS FORCED TO SEE WHAT HIS LIFE HAS BECOME AND IF IT'S WORTH IT.

IN AN EXAMPLE OF ART COPYING REALITY, RUSSELL CROWE IS GREAT THE RUTHLESS JERK...MAKING YOU HATE HIM AT FIRST...SLOWLY TRANSITIONING, AS A HIS MEMORIES AND A BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE SEDUCE HIM BACK.

DIRECTOR RIDLEY SCOTT CREATES A NICE LOOKING FILM THAT'LL MAKE YOU WANT TO GO ON A WINE TASTING TRIP TO PROVENCE...BUT THE MOVIE'S BOUQUET IS FLAT; WITHOUT SUBTLETY...TOLERABLE, BUT YOU'VE SIPPED VINTAGES THAT ARE MUCH MORE EXCITING TO THE PALATE.
A PASSIONLESS, DEAN'S LIST "B MINUS."


"HARSH TIMES"
FINALLY, THERE'S "HARSH TIMES" WHERE A "NOT-QUITE-RIGHT" GULF WAR VETERAN GETS SEDUCED BY THE MEAN STREETS OF SOUTH CENTRAL L.A WHILE HE'S WAITING TO WAITING GET A JOB IN THE REAL WORLD.

CHRISTAN BALE OF "BATMAN BEGINS" FAME TURNS IN A DIABOLICAL PERFORMANCE MUCH MORE COMPELLING THAN THIS WEAK, SEEN-IT-BEFORE STORY.

"6 FEET UNDER AND WICKER PARK'S OWN", FREDDY RODRIGUEZ HOLDS HIS OWN WITH BALE AS A BEST BUDDY..."DESPERATE HOUSEWIVE'S", EVA LONGORIA IS THE LOVE INTEREST, EYE CANDY AND ACTUALLY DISTRACTS FROM THE BADLY DIRECTED STORY.

THERE'S A REASON THIS MOVIE HAS BEEN SITTING ON THE SHELF FOR 2 YEARS. "HARSH TIMES" WILL GIVE YOU ONE...A DEAN'S LIST "C MINUS."

ENJOY THE MOVIES....LET'S HEAR YOUR REVIEW!
DEAN

November 9, 2006

Munchkin TV

Who knew all these folks were still around? We sat down with 4 of the last living munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.
Meinhardt Raabe (The Coroner); Karl Slover (The Trumpeter); Margaret Pellegrini (The Sleepyhead) and Mickey Carroll (Parade Leader)
Check our website for the complete interview - what a trip! They say they don't get sick of talking about the Wizard of Oz, and still will read their lines from the movie, when asked.
The biggest trip? Mickey Carroll (on the right) went to school with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney, and in later years was a speechwriter for Franklin Roosevelt.
Robin
DSCN5488.JPG

ORIGINAL MUNCHKINS FROM WIZARD OF OZ

In case you missed....we had four of the original Munchkins from the Wizard of Oz.

VIDEO: At 8:40 we had a game show featuring questions like:

1//WHY DID BUDDY EBSEN, OF THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, LOSE THE ROLE OF THE TINMAN?A . HE'S WAS A COMMUNIST
B. ALLERGIC TO POWDERED ALUMINUM
C. HE HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM


2//WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE WITCH'S ARMY?A. WITCH'S BRIGADE
B. ORKS
C. WINKIES.

((see answers below))

One of them did a soft-shoe in the weather center, believed to be the first time in broadcast history that a Munchkin has danced during a weather forcast. Mickey Carroll At age 7, he began dance lessons at the Fox Theatre in St. Louis, MO. It was at the Fox that he met entertainer Jack Haley. Haley took him to Hollywood, where one of his first jobs was as "Mickey" in approximately seven of the Spanky and Our Gang series.
At 17 he was one of six bellhops in the 'Call for Phillip Morris' live television ads, and at 18 was appearing in shows with Mae West. While under contract to MGM, he went to school with Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney. It was Judy Garland who offered him a part in 'The Wizard of Oz'. Soon after, he left show business, realizing that his height would prevent him from having any long-term success as an actor.

Little known facts: Mickey's actual god-father was mobster, Al Capone and he has worked with Hollywood greats George Burns, Jack Benny, Al Jolsen, and Gracie Allen during his radio career.

Meinhardt Rabbe, who played the coronor, has a book about his life's adventures. He is 80 years old--- the oldest surviving Munchkin. When he was a boy in the early 20's, his lack of growth was a mystery, he writes in his memoir "Memories of a Munchkin." There were no computers or websites to find comfort with other little people; he had never heard of the word "midget" until he was 17, when he took a trip from the family farm in Wisconsin to the Chicago World's Fair Midget Village in 1933. A man puffing a cigar asked if he was looking for a job.

"I was stunned by his instant acceptance. Someone was actually interested in me because I was small," he wrote.

He eventually took a job in the village, but only as a way to pay for college. Many of those "little people" as they now prefer to be called, ended up as munchkins. Raabe said the production was the first opportunity for little people to "act independently as people, not freaks."

1//b
2//c

November 8, 2006

**********Konrad Advisory************

I don't have much to add today to the blog...
However, I would like to warn everyone that if you happen to stop by the station and find yourself eating in the WGN cafeteria...the skim milk is long expired and sour. Besides that...it still has a nice color and texture.
Word Out Homely.
Konrad

**Tomasulo Advisory**

You know it's the day after an election, when Paul is not only visiting the cafeteria, but WRITING ABOUT IT. Forget the skim milik you Austrian Adonis, I have a half of bottle of Chianti left over from a cooking segment last week. Come on back to the sports office and we'll polish it off- it'll be the most either of us have done all day.

Dean reviews Streisand and other concert observations

WHILE CONFETTI WAS FALLING AT HOTEL BALLROOMS AFTER THE ELECTION LAST NIGHT, BARBRA STRIESAND SHOWERED THE UNITED CENTER WITH 2 HOURS OF HITS!

IT WAS HER FIRST CONCERT HERE IN 40 YEARS. 19 SONGS, TWO ENCORES, A 50 PIECE ORCHESTRA...A VERY SPECIAL EVENT TO SEE. BARBRA WAS IN GREAT VOICE FOR THE START OF THE SHOW BUT BY THE END, A LITTLE RASPY AND HAVING TROUBLE HOLDING THE HIGH NOTES.

FROM A SIMPLE SET WITHOUT ANY MULTI-MEDIA NOR DANCERS, THE 64 YEAR OLD DELIVERED MOSTLY "EARLY CAREER" CLASSICS; "THE WAY WE WERE", SEVERAL SONGS FROM 'FUNNY GIRL" INCLUDING, "PEOPLE" AND "MY MAN"; SOME BROADWAY FAVORITES LIKE "SOMEWHERE" AND ""MUSIC OF THE NIGHT" AND OF COURSE, "EVERGREEN" ON WHICH SHE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY THE QUARTET, IL DIVO.

IL DIVO THEY SOUNDED NICE, BUT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING EXCEPT ROBOTICALLY WALK AROUND THE STAGE DURING THEIR 3 SONG SET, DISTRACTINGLY PLACED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE IST ACT, STOPPING THE SHOW AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

IT WAS A MOSTLY MELLOW 2ND ACT THAT COULD HAVE USED THE ENERGY THAT SHE DELIVERED DURING, THE HIGHLIGHT, "DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE",

POLITICS WERE THERE BUT NOT PREVELANT. SHE DID A FEW RED STATE-BLUE STATE JOKES AND TALKED ABOUT HOW, EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE OUR DIFFERENCES, WE'RE ALL AMERICANS. HER, NOW FAMOUS, GEORGE BUSH IMPERSONATOR, HAD THE NIGHT OFF BUT WILL BE AT HER THURSDAY SHOW. I WAS DISAPPOINTED THAT SHE DIDN'T CURSE ANYONE OUT AS SHE DID DURING A PREVIOUS SHOW WITH A HECKLER WHO DIDN'T WANT POLITICS IN THE CONCERT. AFTER INTERMISSION, SHE GAVE AN ELECTION UPDATE AND LAUNCHED INTO "HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN."

THE WELL MANNERED, MOSTLY 50-PLUS CROWD LOVED EVERY MINUTE...SOME WERE IN TEARS. I LIKED THE SHOW, AFTER ALL IT'S STREISAND; BUT AS STAGE SHOWS GO, IT WAS MORE MINIMAL THAN A 750 DOLLAR TICKET PAYER DESERVES.

ROSIE O'DONNELL WAS THERE; SHE'S APPARENTLY DOING A DOCUMENTARY ON STREISAND. SHE LOOKED GREAT UP CLOSE BEING VERY FRIENDLY WITH THE AUDIENCE OUTSIDE THE VENUE AND ALSO INSIDE AS SHE WORKED HER WAY TO HER PRIMO SEATS WITH A CAMERA CREW IN TOE.

BABS LOOKED GREAT, SPORTING 3 SIMPLE, BASIC BLACK OUTFIT CHANGES DURING THE SHOW.

NEARLY EVERY WORD OF THE SHOW; THE SONGS AND THE WELL REHEARSED BANTER, WERE SCRIPTED ON GIANT TELEPROMPTERS. IT TAKES A LOT OF THE SPONTANIETY OUT OF A SHOW WHEN YOU CAN FOLLOW ALONG NEARLY EVERY WORD. AMONG HER SCRIPTED COMMENTS WERE WELL INTENTIONED CHICAGO REFERENCES TO DEEP DISH PIZZA, CHICAGO STYLE HOTDOGS, THE BEARS (MISPRONOUNCING BRIAN URLACHER'S NAME) AND THE BULLS. I GUESS WE'RE SUPPOSED TO THINK THAT SHE REALLY CONNECTS TO OUR CITY, EVEN THOUGH SHE HASN'T BEEN HERE FOR 40 YEARS. AT LEAST PICK SOME LESS STEREOTYPICAL CHICAGO CONNECTIONS.

OVERALL, I LIKED IT. IT WAS AN EXPERIENCE BUT IF IT WASN'T STREISAND, WE'D BE SAYING IT WAS AN OK SHOW WITH NO BELLS OR WHISTLES THAT WE'RE USED TO IN CONCERT-GOING THESE DAYS.

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!
DEAN

November 7, 2006

D-V-DEAN'S LIST NOVEMBER 7

New in stores on Tuesday, November 7, 2006"CARS"

"LITTLE MAN"

"WORDPLAY"

"TOTALLY AWESOME"

"THOU SHALT LAUGH"


"THE SOPRANOS: SEASON 6, PART 1."

"THE WEST WING: THE COMPLETE SERIES"

"POLICE SQUAD: THE COMPLETE SERIES"

"INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO: DAVE CHAPPELLE"

"INSIDE THE ACTORS STUDIO: ICONS"

"MELROSE PLACE: SEASON 1"

"BEVERLY HILLS: 90210: SEASON 1"

"MASH: MARTINIS AND MEDICINE COLLECTION"

"JAG: SEASON 2"


"GARY COOPER: THE SIGNATURE COLLECTION"

"THE MARLON BRANDO COLLECTION"

"JAMES BOND ULTIMATE COLLECTION: VOLUME 1 & 2"

"CINEMA PARADISIO: COLLECTOR'S EDITION"

"THE RODGERS AND HAMMERSTEIN COLLECTION"

November 6, 2006

Pundits Paradise!

Surprisingly, this was the original title song for the film "Dangerous Minds," but it didn't test well. I recycle it here as a name for what's been created by the Bears' first loss of the season- an open forum for an endless supply of blow-hardiness (my own word, you like?).

About 8 times today so far (and it's only 10:13), I've been asked what happened against Miami. I HAVE NO IDEA!! They lost. The other team played better. Can't a team just lose every now and then??? Maybe it sounds like I'm oversimplifying things a bit, but let's not make things bigger than they are. We're not talking about disarming North Korea here. A 7 and 0 football team lost a game. You'd think another cruise ship hit an iceberg. Experts are jumping for the lifeboats!!

One guy on TV shared his new NFL rankings. He dropped the Bears to fifth. Fifth! Behind the Giants! The Giants got crushed by the Seahawks, who were in turn crushed by the Bears the following week. Even the knuckleheads who vote on college football couldn't screw up with that kind of information!

I'm light-headed from all of this expertise being shared, on TV, on the radio, in the newspapers. One close road win and a home loss, and suddenly the Bears are a flawed team. They're 7 and 1!!! The Patriots are so much better? They nearly lost to the Bills and the Jets! The Giants are the class of the NFC? They were destroyed by Seattle. DESTROYED!

It's one loss, everybody, and they're gonna lose another, probably 2! Who cares? Be like me- remove yourself from the fray, float above it and listen to everyone else argue about 'em. They've beaten teams 26-0, 34-7, 37-6, 40-7 and 41-10. I can't even win so many lop-sided games in a season of Madden . . on rookie . . with the All-Madden team!

They're gonna be fine . . . unless Urlacher's out a while.

Flying High

As the traffic reporter, I get a lot of questions about flying in Skycam 9. Is it scary? Do you like it? Do you get nervous? Do you fly in bad weather? What's it like?

Well, well, well...let me answer those burning questions many of you may have.

NO, FLYING IS NOT SCARY.
I LOVE FLYING.
I DON'T GET NERVOUS.
NO, WE DO NOT FLY IN BAD WEATHER.
IT'S AN AWESOME VIEW OF A GREAT CITY.

There....that pretty much sums it up in a nutshell. I will give you a little more detail though now. I had never flown in a helicopter before this job. As a matter of fact, I went through the whole interview process, even accepted the gig, without ever once going up in Skycam 9. Brave, hun???? Yeah, I know. I was just so happy to get to WGN, I would do just about anything.

I remember my first day flying. I got in the chopper, sat down, put on my seatbelt, said hello to the pilot and photographer, and then we took off. I did not look out my left window at all. I only looked over the pilot, out of his window. He sits on the right and I sit on the left. The camera guy sits in the back. There's windows all around me, even at my feet. That way we can see down below. I think it took me two days to finally look out of my window. I guess I thought if I looked out of my window I was going to fall out because it's just that open. Imagine being on an airplane and instead of having that little window to look out of, there is a window that stretches from the ceiling of the aircraft to the floor. It's wild, but something I quickly learned to love. Now, nothing bothers me in Skycam 9. I don't even get sick. Every once in a blue moon, I feel a little queasy, but nothing too bad.

Besides doing my job and giving the traffic reports, my favorite thing is to look at cool houses from the air. It's the best view. I've checked out mansions, celebrity homes, and watched houses be built from the ground up. I also love flying over my own house from time to time to say hello to my husband and 4 year old daughter. They come out on our bedroom balcony when they hear me coming and wave. It's so sweet.

My least favorite thing is flying over Lake Michigan. While I really do trust the pilot(he's the best, lots of experience, knows the Chicago land area like the back of his hand) I just don't care for flying over the lake. It just gives me the creeps. I should mention, I can't swim. That might have a lot to do with it. Mike, the pilot, assures me all the time, that if something were to happen to the engine over the water, the chopper has enough back up whatever, to allow us to land. He was talking technical aviation stuff to me and I tuned him out. Anyway, I guess the next adventure for me would be to tackle swim lessons!!!!!!!!!! If I can go up in a chopper everyday, I should be able to learn how to swim, right?!?!?!?

See ya!See ya!

November 3, 2006

Dean's Babel, Flushed Away, Santa Clause 3 Reviews

BABEL
THERE'S ALSO A NEW FILM FROM BRAD PITT AND CATE BLANCETT. "BABEL" REMINDED ME OF "SYRIANNA" BECAUSE I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THIS ONE EITHER.

IT'S A SERIES OF MULTI- LAYERED STORIES OF VIOLENCE, ABANDANMENT, FAMILY, AND LOSS THAT ARE SUPPOSED TO BE MOSTLY TIED TOGETHER. GREAT PERFORMANCES IF YOU'RE WILLING TO WORK TO PUT THE ESOTERIC PIECES OF THIS PUZZLE TOGETHER. I LOST INTEREST IN THIS OVERLY COMPLEX FOR IT'S OWN GOOD CHALLENGE. AN OVERLY ARTSY CRITIC SAID OF THIS FILM, IT'S "A SPRAWLING ECLECTIC ON A GLOBAL SCALE."
THE MOVIE MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS THAT SENTENCE. A DEAN'S LIST "D."

FLUSHED AWAY
KIDS AND GROWN UPS ARE GOING TO LOVE "FLUSHED AWAY", A STORY OF A PET MOUSE WHO IS FLUSHED DOWN THE TOLIET BY A SEWER RAT WHO WANTS TO LIVE THE COMFY LIFE.

IT'S A CLEVER, FAST PACED COMEDY...WITH PLENTY OF BATH ROOM HUMOR TO PLEASE THE KIDS...WITH A SOLID VOICE TALENT LIKE HUGH JACKMAN, KATE WINSLET AND SIR IAN MCKELLAN. A DEAN'S LIST "A."

SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE
THE MESS OF THE WEEK IS TIM ALLEN'S THIRD SHOT AT SANTA-DUM. KIDS LOVE THESE MOVIES BUT TALK ABOUT A CINAMATIC LUMP OF COAL.

IN "SANTA CLAUSE 3: THE ESCAPE CLAUSE"; MRS. CLAUS, ELIZABETH MITCHELL, IS HAVING A BABY...HER PARENTS, ANN MARGARET AND ALAN ARKIN, VISIT THE NORTH POLE FOR THE FIRST TIME...AND JACK FROST, ANNOYINGLY PLAYED BY MARTIN SHORT, IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER. ANNOYING, NOT FUNNY AND NOT EVEN REMOTLY WARM. AN HOUR AND HALF OF DISTRACTION FOR THE KIDS BUT NOT MUCH ELSE.

ELECTION HUMOR

I do not have a Larry's World column in Today's Red Eye so I am reprinting a previous column from March 12, 2004, titled "CLINTON & THE EGG TIMER." Who said politics wasn't funny?

While most kids were running home from school to watch Speed Racer, one little 10 year old boy was rotating the dial to something that had more drama and suspense--- the live Senate Select Committee On Presidential Campaign Activities, better known as the Watergate hearings. Hey, some kids had the hots for Trixie or Chim-Chim but Mark Katz loved to hate Nixon. He didn't know why, but he knew it was fun. Mark and his brother Robby wrote some Nixon jokes:

Q:What did Ehrlichman say when he walked into the Oval Office and saw Haldeman?

A: Testing. Testing. One, two three.

Hysterical-when you're 10.

This passion for politics led Mark to a gig as joke writer for Mike Dukakis.

"You are looking at the guy who made Mike Dukakis so funny," Mark told me during a recent stop in Chicago to promote his book "Clinton and Me, A Real Life Political Comedy."

Well, he would have made Dukakis funny, if Dukakis had listened to him. The funniest thing about Dukakis was watching a five foot Democrat with Count Chocula eyebrows put on an army helmet and ride a tank----but that wasn't suppose to be comedy, and "tank" is exactly what happened to his 1988 presidential campaign.

Mark hoped he would have more luck in 1995, when he was asked to help President Clinton, after Clinton's 90-minute State of the Union snore-a-thon. Mark wrote some jokes for Clinton's next speech, four days later, for Washington's Alfalfa Club. Katz outlined the plan in his book:

The obvious answer to all the mocking for the length of his last speech...was to juxtapose a kitschy kitchen device with a presidential podium brimming with gravitas; pull an egg timer from his pocket, set it to five minutes and greet the audience---reset as needed.

Clinton glared with anger-"You can put the egg timer away," the President said.

On the night of the speech that Clinton had rewritten, the President was bombing. Suddenly, he reached into the pocket for the emergency gag---the egg timer. According to Mark, it was the one authentic laugh of the night.

"It was a lesson in humor that he needed to learn, quite honestly, which is, humor in Washington is best-used when it's self-directed. That's kind of the first rule in Washington politics. Second rule is, 'repeat as necessary.' The third rule is, 'once you've been sufficiently self-deprecating, you've acquired the right to be self-deprecating on behalf of others."

One year later, Katz developed RULE NO.4: things are only as bad as the things you can't joke about.*
*see Monica Lewinsky

Dean's Borat Review

NOVEMBER 3, 2006

THE FUNNIEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR OPENS TODAY. IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE SO SAVE YOUR EMAILS COMPLAINING TO ME THAT YOU TOOK YOUR GRANDMA TO SEE IT BECAUSE SHE LOVES THOSE OLD BOB HOPE COMEDIES.

"BORAT: CULTURAL LEARNINGS OF AMERICA FOR MAKE BENEFIT GLORIOUS NATION OF KAZAKHSTAN" STARS ENGLISH COMEDIAN, SASHA BARON COHEN, WHO YOU KNOW AS THE GAY RACER CAR DRIVER MARRIED TO ANDY RICHTER IN "TALLEDEGA NIGHTS" AND "D'ALI SHOW" AS A CLUELESS FOREIGN JOURNALIST WHO COMES TO U.S. TO MAKE A FILM ABOUT AMERICAN LIFE.
SOME PEOPLE WILL HEAR "OUTRAGEOUS, POLITICALLY INCORRECT, TASTELESS AND OFTEN DISGUSTING" AND THINK IT'S A BAD THING. "BORAT" IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS BUT ALL IN A FANTASTICALLY FUNNY WAY.

AN "FISH OUT OF WATER" COMEDY...PART FICTIONAL...PART DOCUMNETARY STYLE INTERVIEWS WITH REAL PEOPLE IN WHICH THE LIKEABLE FOREIGNER BAITS HIS "SUBJECTS HELPING WITH THE DOCUMENTARY" DOING AND SAYING SHOCKING AND UNBELIEVABLE THINGS AND OBSERVING WHILE THEY DO AND SAY UNBELIEVABLE THINGS BACK.

COHEN IS FEARLESS IS WHAT HE'LL SAY AND DO BUT THE GENIUS OF "BORAT" COMES IN WITH THE GENIUS STATEMENT BEING MADE AMIDST THE INSANITY ABOUT UGLY AMERICAN BEHAVIOR, BIGOTRY AND IGNORANCE.

YOU HAVE TO LIKE GROSS OUT HUMOR TO LIKE "BORAT." YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO BE SHOCKED. YOU HAVE TO BE READY TO BE DOUBLED OVER IN LAUGHTER.

IF YOU ARE...YOU'RE IN FOR A MASTERPIECE THATS FUNNY FROM THE FIRST FRAME THROUGH THE FINAL CREDIT. A DEAN'S LIST "A PLUS."

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Paul Konrad's Blog

Hello and Welcome to the Konrad blog.

I'm certain there is at least a little interest in what people are really like off camera.

Today I will focus on Larry.

Larry is the most disliked.

It is primarily because he is the tallest and stays at the station longer than the rest of us.

Besides that he is fine.

Larry cares deeply about the success of this show.

He has been on this show longer than anyone. I think 12 years.

He is a professional who cares about getting stories told correctly. (boy this sounds really lame)

Larry has some unusual ticks...

He eats other peoples food when they are not watching.

He wears no socks and shoes while anchoring the show.

He is one of my tallest friends and we have sleepovers when our wives let us.

He has only taken his 2 year old daughter out by himself 2 times.

He wears nail polish.

I am honored to have him as a my ballroom dance partner.

Konrad

November 2, 2006

HISTORIC BEER MAKES COMEBACK

Octoberfest may be winding down but for one historic family in Chicago, the beer bash is just beginning. Or, perhaps we should say there is a sequel to the storied “Sieben’s Brewery” that holds a prominent position in Chicago history. It had been the oldest operating brewery in Chicago until it closed in 1967. And now, nearly 40 years later, Sieben’s Beer is back.

One of my colleagues, Bob Esp, is an engineer surrounded by colorful buttons and tv screens, who ricochette’s satellite signals between loop high-rises to bring you the artistic glory that is WGN Morning News. His great-great grandfather on his mothers side, Michael, founded the Sieben’s Brewery in 1865. The original brewery was located on Pacific Avenue near Clark and Polk Streets. Esp says a slight shift in wind spared the brewery from the Great Chicago Fire. However, it would be at the center of another firestorm years later---a story I will get to in a moment.

Despite the family legacy, Esp knew nothing about making beer a year ago. All he had were the stories.

“It’s something I always wanted to do,” Esp said. “Anyone who remembers Siebens, remembers it fondly.”

Esp connected with a cousin, Richard Sieben, and encouraged him to become partners. Siebens is a senior auditor at Metra, but for the last decade, he’s been experimenting in his garage with yeast and hops, to brew the perfect beer.

“My name was actually noticed in one of my MBA classes by a teacher who suggested maybe I look into it for one of my projects,” Sieben said. “So I went to Barnes and Noble and found a book about beer and saw the name. I bought it and it listed all the reasons not to open a brewery.”

But Esp kept pushing. In 2000, Siebens took brewing classes at Siebel Institute of Technology in Chicago. While going through old storage logs, Sieben discovered that some of the yeast used in his family’s brewery had been preserved in a Siebel Institute freezer. It helped reproduce an important aspect of Sieben’s recipe.

“I was dying to find out what the beer tasted like,” Esp said. “It’s smooth and well-balanced. Not sweet; a clean finish.”

For a fraction of the cost of building their own brewery, they hired a brewery to produce the recipe. After a year of experimenting with ingredients, temperature and ph-levels, the beer will hit bars and stores at the end of the month.

But how does one compete between the big breweries’ marketing budget, and the crowd of catchy microbrew names like Three Stooges Beer or Polygamy Porter ( “Why Have Just One!”) Perhaps the storyline will hold some attraction to Chicagoans.

Sieben’s has a colorful history, which includes doing business with the mob. The details are unclear. But, according to John Binder, author of The Chicago Outfit, prohibition put breweries in a tough spot.

“Either you shut down or make near (non-alcoholic) beer, which nobody wanted to drink, or you sold out to the bootleggers, or you took them in and run full-blast and make real beer.”

Binder said Chicago mobster Dion O’Banion (north side) told his rival Johnny Torrio (south side) he was planning to retire and wanted to sell his share of the Sieben’s Brewery. On May 19, 1924, they met at the brewery, which was raided by police. Torrio knew he’d been set up. O’Banion made sure the cops would be there. He also knew that because it would be Torrio’s second prohibition offense, that Torrio would end up behind bars. This is what led to the infamous “handshake murder” of O’Banion at his flower shop. It was the spark that set off the north and south side gang wars, including the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre in 1929.

Most of Esp's and Sieben's relatives discouraged them from pursuing the beer business. They say "You don't own a brewery; a brewery owns you." They know that in family businesses, the pressure for profits can sometimes add dysfunction to family. But these two Sieben ancestors seem less concerned with their financial portfolio; for now, they value the art of beer making. Like TV, beer is also a synthesis of science and art, but Esp is far more passionate about his family brew than bouncing satellite signals. Perhaps that inspiration will ultimately be more effective in attracting Chicago beer customers than bikini models caressing another watered-down beer.

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