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Konrad's Top 5 Reasons for not going to the Holiday party

Today is the annual Holiday Party here at WGN.

I have a 10 year track record of missing it.

Here is my list of the 5 reason I won't attend .

1. Skilling shows up and is always trying to get me to arm wrestle him in front of the ladies.
I can't win and he knows it. He's a showboater and likes to rub it in.

2. After just one egg nog, Larry starts to babble on about his new hair weave and how hot Dean Richards looks in a red sweater.

3. Robin starts the dirty-talk and then can't keep her hands to herself.

4. Pat Tomasulo walks around the room trying to show people how strong he is by lifting them up off the ground. It's cute...but after the 3rd time, it get's a little old.

5. All Val wants to do is to get everyone doing the "Electric Slide". I am a contrarian and not a group dancer.
She gets mad and then starts dog cussing anyone who doesn't want to dance with the "Fun People".

I've got enough problems of my own.

Getting involved with these boners any more than I need to will ruin my holiday spirit.

Merry Christmas
Konrad


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Comments

And you wonder why you don't get nominated for Employee of the Month........

Good for you, Paul. Do your own thing. You have an absolutely remarkable sense of humor and wit.

Why do I know you would be at the party, maybe coming in disguise

hahahahahaha......you're too funny Paul Konrad!

Strange, I avoid holiday parties for very similar reasons. Paul, you're the best...you're everyone's favorite grumpy uncle. You get my vote for employee with the most holiday spirit.

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