VALENTINE'S DAY GIFT IDEAS
When the final second ticks off in Miami, you will have nine shopping days to score a winning gift for the Super Bowl of Romance. I am not including Feb. 14 as the 10th day. If you wait that long, you will be scouring the aisles of Walgreen’s or grabbing the bouquet special at Dominick’s, and if your Valentine is a woman worth keeping, she’ll know you threw the February 14th Hail Mary and throw a flag.
I have searched the web to bring you some options, for not only the high-maintenance type, but also the gem who can take a joke.
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Smells like happy
They say you can’t buy happiness, yet here it is--and it’s cheap: $4.99! The folks at buysomehappiness.com claim scientists have isolated the essence of emotion and processed it into an extract. Whether you’re looking for "Playful Kitten" or "Giggly Baby," a little dab’ll do ya.
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Satisfaction
What’s more romantic than Sticky Fingers in your back pocket? How about a vinyl wallet made out of a recycled Rolling Stones album of the same name. (Hey kids, that’s a vinyl disc that makes music). $189, uncommongoods.com
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See the light
Because sometimes men need a signal, try these lighted bras. For once, a guy may actually have an excuse for staring. $55-$105, enlighted.com
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Butt wait, there’s more
Put the ass in class with a genuine artist’s rendering of your behind. The artists at Butt Sketch World Headquarters can sketch your butt from a photo for $35, regardless of size. Buttsketch.com
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Couples therapyThrough February, Exhale Spa, 945 N. State St., offers a couple’s Tantric Acu-Massage, which combines deep massage with acupuncture treatment. I am not sure I want needles in my "romantic zones," but if you’re a New Age Yanni kind of guy, go for it. It’s $180 per person, $350 per couple.
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Total package
The Four Season’s Hotel is offering a "My Healthy Valentine" package: one-night stay in a suite, couples’ massage, candle-lit dinner, chocolate and a checkup at Northwestern Memorial hospital. Prostate screening for him; mammogram for her; $8,900.
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Imported air
Show her she’s got that European flair when you purchase authentic air from Wales from walesinabottle.com. Catherine Zeta Jones pays $47 for a small bottle of Welsh air and has it flown to her home in L.A., according to published reports. Also for a limited time only, I am offering alien pixies from Pluto; third-party post-dated checks gladly accepted.
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Comments
"Romantic zones"????
Did you REALLY just say that?
Posted by: Suzanne | February 9, 2007 6:03 PM
I also have to buy a valentines' day gift.... but I will go for online shopping for it.
Posted by: Fletcher | January 28, 2008 1:03 AM