DELUSIONAL CONGRESS
In Congress this week, just about everyone agreed on everything. At least that’s the case at the 16th annual UFO Congress in Laughlin Nevada, which wraps up a week of activities tomorrow. It’s a place where UFO enthusiasts can congregate without being laughed at, and where UFO authors and lecturers can make their wallets thicker.
Perhaps the recent sighting of “mysterious lights” at O’Hare peaked your interest in UFO’s. Who could resist? The idea of there being life on other planets is thrilling. The universe is so vast, it would be naïve to think there’s no life out there. But that’s a separate issue from someone paying us a visit. The problem is, it’s difficult to get your mind around just how big the universe is. Try this: of all the little stars you see in the sky at night, the closest is four light years away, according to Stephen Hawking, and it would take the fastest space ship thousands of years to get there.
‘’Ok, then perhaps they have some super-duper technology that helps them travel light years in a blink?’’ asks the UFOlogist. That raises two points:
1//Last I checked, not one good piece of credible evidence exists. Not an alien rock, or piece of clothing, or video. Nothing’s ever landed at State and Madison at high noon.
2//If they have the technology to travel light years, wouldn’t they have the technology to do so undetected by us humans, who get excited about the new cupholders in their car that’s designed to last only four years.
Of course, none of this discourages the attendees of the UFO Congress from trying to make their case. Skeptic and researcher Robert Shaeffer visited a previous meeting. He dressed in black, from head to toe. When he walked in, everyone stared. One UFOlogist finally asked, “So are you one of those Men In Black?”
Shaeffer replied, “Sorry, I'm not at liberty to discuss that."
He expected a laugh, but instead, the man slowly moved away, confirming the paranoid spirit that runs through the UFO believer.
Here are the hot topics at this week's congress:
A couple of congressmen videotaped an interview ten years ago with an attendee who claimed to be involved with a crashed saucer recovery mission. The congress promised not to release it until the attendee gave permission but it seems the attendee has disappeared (Men in Black?) in the last ten years so they’re setting up the video screen. Attend---if you dare.
Another participant will debut his research on the Starchild skull which “should soon prove to be the most important relic in human history.” I checked out the website of presenter Lloyd Pye. It says the Starchild skull is most likely a human-alien hybrid. (Hey didn’t Steve Guttenberg do the wild thing with an alien chick in the swimming pool in 1985’s Cocoon?) Note that Pye also describes himself as a researcher in the field of “alternative knowledge,” which I believe is a nice way of saying “subject that sounds important but doesn’t exist in any major university.”
An engineer and scientist found a way of calculating the duration of long-term magnetic reversals on the Sun. Using this ‘’knowledge’’ he was able to break the codes of ancient sun-worshipping civilizations. He’ll explain how the sun is the cause of all our problems although there is no plan at this time to erect the Montgomery Burns sun-blocker contraption.
How about a lecture on "Exopolitics: How Does One Speak To A Ball of Light?”
(I am not making this up.)
“Hello Mr. Light? I’m Mr. Johnson. Damn glad to meet you.”
“Many people have made huge psychological investments in this ‘alien visitor’ world-view,” Shaeffer said. “It's like a religion to them, they can't understand why other people don't ‘see the light,’"
That’s how they counter the naysayers like me. They might explain that I am just part of the cover-up conspiracy. Of course any conspiracy would have to include governments from around the world. And as we see on a daily basis--whether its celebrity gossip or political sources leaking dirt to the press--most people can’t keep a secret.