WGN Morning News Blog

Tree-hugging has always been associated as a liberal cause, but I don’t see the melting of the planet, whether it is global warming, or nuclear radiation, as a partisan political issue. Earth Day is a reminder that, in principle, it is an issue of survival for all life forms---yes, even Lush Limbaugh and Al Franken.

Still, in a partisan world, environmentalists need to grab the attention of the conservative, and the apathetic, by adding a new sex appeal to their mission. MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR” was the liberal protest slogan of Vietnam; the philosophy is making a comeback. This time, instead of wasted hippies protesting, we have a protest about wasting resources—energy, trees, minerals, etc. LSD hallucinations of the 60's have been replaced with harmless hemp tube-tops that would even catch Pat Buchanan's eye.

Greenpeace even has a list of strategies for environmentally-friendly sex. It’s called "getting it on for the good of the planet---you can be a bomb in bed, without nuking the planet." Their tips include things you should do and things you shouldn’t.

>> Turn her on, when you turn the lights off. It’s romantic and it promotes efficient energy use--yeah baby!

>> Oysters and other shellfish can be aphrodisiacs but, according to Greenpeace, all the plundering for pleasure is destroying the ocean. Greenpeace advises you grab a fruit drink instead from community-based operations from the Amazon rainforest. Another environmental site suggests horny goat weed. ( I’ll stick with the melon smoothie.)

>> A roll in the shrubs can put the spark in your love life, unless of course, your bare bottom is sliding in weed killer, so make the switch to natural fertilizers.

Sites like www.treehugger.com advise on how to "shop green" to put the romance back in your life and pleasure back into the planet. Here’s what you can buy:

>> a soy massage candle--the soothing smell of pure protein

>> eco-undies--underwear that’s fun to wear year after year after year. (Men ask: "What’s new about that?’)

>> bamboo bed sheets--supposedly more comfortable than they sound, but I can’t stop thinking that it sounds like something Thurston and Lovie Howell would’ve used in the privacy of their own hut, which is somewhat of a turn-off.

There are so many causes out there, this kind of creativity is what it takes to cut through the clutter of communication.

Another tactic: Get them while they’re young. Did you know there’s an environmental superhero? "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" is on every day in some parts of the country on Boomerang (subsidiary of the Cartoon Network.)

It was a Ted Turner project that first aired on TBS in 1990-- which might explain why Captain Planet has a mullet—but its goal was to reach children with the slogan "The Power is Yours!"

The Planeteers, featuring the voices of people like Ed Asner, Whoopie Goldberg, and Sting, use the powers of the environment (earth, wind, fire, water and "heart" ) to battle villains like Looten Plunder. The bad guys aren’t stealing mojo, they’re clear-cutting forests!

You can still enjoy Captain Planet on the Captain Planet Foundation Web site (http://captainplanetfdn.org ).

So what can we mere humans do to weed out all the "takers"?

Well, if your date pulls up in a Hummer, you could turn off the porch light off and sneak out the back. You could take a stroll to the farmers market and find someone wearing recyclable sandals and buying fair trade clothing from sewing cooperatives in Bolivia. Or perhaps your new found environmental sex appeal could convert that wasteful heathen with the Hummer into an eco-lover