WGN Morning News Blog

This week I turned 40. You get lots of questions like “How does it feel?” And the more disturbing, “Are you okay?”

The answer is, “I feel fine.”

But those are not the right questions. The questions are: Is this what I thought it would be? And “What do I do now?”

In 1977, when I was in third grade, we had to write essays about what it would be like in 1999. I wrote about flying cars, and about my career playing in the NBA; I’m not sure which fantasy was more unrealistic.

It seemed so far away---another world. I remember doing the calculation of how old I’d be in 1999----32. It wasn’t even clear what that number meant, when even your 24 year old teacher seems old.

I remember watching Carl Yastremski on TV---the all-star veteran of the Boston Red Sox. You could tell he was the old man among boys in the dugout. When he stood at the plate, he bent his front knee and leaned over, like he had a bad back and was about to fall over. Wow is this guy an old-timer! He was 38.

Little did I know how enjoyable it would be to turn 40. In our teens, we are obsessed with wearing the right jeans, and what everyone is saying about us. In our 20’s, we are enjoying the singles scene. After ten years of failed romance, we enter our 30’s, hopefully trying to figure out what we have been doing wrong all this time, to finally set a course for success in business and personal life.

“At twenty years of age, the will reigns. At thirty, the wit. At forty, I was sure of myself,” said Benjamin Franklin, who did not begin his electrical experiments until he was 40.

So there is still much to do. Plenty of time to start a golfball washing business, invent a glow-in-the-dark egg-beater, visit Luxemborg, write a book (or for some, read a book) or maybe even mentor someone who has lost their way.

For anyone about 40 and above, hopefully we feel like it’s a turning point---that we understand what is important. Hopefully, we have outgrown the narcissism and materialism of youth. We can end all those toxic acquaintances and stop networking with people who take more and give less. By now, we should learn to develop a sense of self-sacrifice in our relationships, and teach that wisdom to our children from the beginning, and grow old with friends you can rely on.

I have had the same group of friends since about first grade. We recently went on a guys trip---something you take for granted when you’re 22, but not today. We collectively have 14 children. A 40th birthday getaway isn’t about how many shots you knock down, or how many foosball games you win….it’s about being with people who remember what you cried about when you were 6, and that girl who dumped you when you were 16. Around these people, there is no show to perform, or image to maintain---refreshing change from the insecurities of youth.