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July 30, 2007

D-V-Dean's List-New Videos Tuesday July 31, 2007

New Releases (Movies):
300: Special Edition
Hot Fuzz
The Darwin Awards
Everything's Gone Green: Unrated Edition
Firehouse Dog
Lonely Hearts
Pathfinder: Unrated Edition
Roving Mars: IMAX

TV Box Sets:
The Archie Show: Complete Series
Babylon 5: The Lost Tales
Dallas: Season Seven
Hawaii Five-O: Season Two
The Kids of Degrassi Street: Complete Series
Popeye: Volume One
The Rhinemann Exchange: Complete Mini-Series
Sabrina: Season Two
The Sons of Hollywood: Season One
Space 1999: 30th Anniversary Edition

Special Editions/Other Releases:
20 Million Miles to Earth
Blue Water, White Death
Kung Fu Hustle: Deluxe Edition
Rap Sheet: Hip Hop and the Cops
Rock the Bells
Yellow

July 27, 2007

Surfin the Net - Booty Drop

Rating - 3 Stars

My name is Bryann

My Police Encounter 7 1/2 Months Pregnant

So, Paul told you all about officer friendly.
He told you how I had an opportunity to meet him Thursday.
Although, I might say, he wasn't quite as "friendly" to me as he is to Paul.
He wasn't mean....but just not that cordial to a 7 and 1/2 month pregnant woman who was trying to press through the treacherous downpour to make it to work on time in the wee hours of the morning.
With swollen feet and all, I had to follow officer friendly to the police station to sign for my citations. (I guess because I have an out of state license.)
He did get out off his squad car to walk me inside, but I guess because I was on the phone with my job, filling them in, he was tired of standing in the deluge and left me.
Mind you, he led me to park a mile from the entrance to the police station..
Was he trying to insinuate that I needed the extra steps???
Perhaps.
So, I took a deep breath, opened the door, and took off running to the door....YES RUNNING!
I was trying not to get soaked because this is the one day I didn't have an umbrella in the car.
Didn't matter.
I was soaked.
I sat for a few minutes inside the police station.
I watched a couple of people come in and out, in handcuffs.
And then I signed my papers and got out of there.
Officer friendly didn't even say goodbye to me.
He just turned his back and walked off in the distance.
Friendly???? I don't know.
That wasn't very courteous considering I'm really late for work now.
That's okay.
We will see each other again in September when we meet for a court date.
Maybe he will have thought about me and we can patch things up.
After all, like Paul, I'm just a law abiding citizen who respects Chicago's finest!


July 26, 2007

Dean reviews "Simpsons", "No Reservations"

“THE SIMPSONS MOVIE”
It’s always a sketchy thing when a popular TV show gets made into a movie. Occasionally, it’s a disaster. I’m guessing the latest to make the transition will be anything but disaster.

After 18 years of being one of Rupert Murdoch’s biggest cash cows, the long awaited "Simpson’s Movie" finally hits the multi-plexs.... and the only word to describe it, (think of me talking like Mr. Burns), "excellent."

The big screen doesn't add much but then it really doesn't need to. The genius writing and yellow characters are all still there. Like a really good, but not great, episode of the TV show, there’s 87 minutes of all of the regular characters, a few celebrity cameos, and a self-mocking story that'll leave you laughing.

Homer has caused an environmental disaster that threatens all of Springfield, causing all of Springfield to want to kill him, so he's forced to save the day and win back the trust of his family. How or why isn't as important as that it's done with typical irreverence.

Add in a bit of a Bart nude scene and a potty mouthed Marge, because they can...and you've got deluxe version of the show with no commercials. A PG -13 rated, Dean’s List "A".... and make sure that you stay for all of the credits.

“NO RESERVATIONS”
For romantics who need more than a homer and Marge kiss, there's "No Reservations" with Catherine Zeta Jones.

Based on the German film, "Mostly Martha", Jones is a hyper-driven restaurant chef whose whole life is her food. Things get interrupted when she suddenly finds herself caring for her 10 year old niece, played by Abigail Breslin, from "Little Miss Sunshine."

Add to this control freaks' woes, is a new chef in her kitchen, Aaron Eckhart, who’s supposed to help, but whose free and easy style are like oil and water with hers.

Can you already taste the ending of this film?

All of the elements for a cliché soufflé were bubbling, but great performances and a delicate flavoring of heart keep the story light and delicious.

I’ve run out of food metaphors...so I’ll just say "No Reservations" is a charming, romantic comedy. A Dean's List "B."

“TRASHED”
Also worth seeing is the documentary, "Trashed" by Chicago filmmaker, Bill Kirkos, who explores the social and environmental effect of the garbage industry. Catch it at the Music Box Theater.

“I KNOW WHO KILLED ME”
Not screened for the critics is Lindsey Lohan's "I Know Who Killed Me." Maybe knowing how bad this must be is what sent Lilo over the edge this week. It’s described as a missing identity thriller. Apparently, what’s missing, is anything good.

‘WHO’S YOUR CADDY”
And screened for the critics late last night so we’d all miss our deadlines, is "Who's Your Caddy" starring Outkast's Big Boi, who plays a famous rapper who clashes with a country club who doesn't want him admitted. Sounds like this should be called, "Who's Your Caddy-shack."

Tour de Farce

It's not a good time for the Tour de France, not when the only buzz it creates is:

"Did you see that guy crash into the dog?!?!"

The Tour is of course getting a lot of attention, but not buzz. Buzz is good, this race is drawing controversy. That's bad.

But in terms of cycling's popularity, how much of an effect are blood doping, steroids, and all that other nonsense really hurting the sport? I say very, very little, and for one simple reason:

NOBODY WATCHES ANYWAY!

All the cheating can have an impact on how people feel about the sport (obviously a negative one), but these guys could be cleaner than Reverend Billy Graham and nobody would watch, because IT'S BORING! If I wanted to watch people ride bikes, I'd head over to the Lake- at least some of those cyclists are wearing halter tops.

How much fun is it to watch guys with names I can't pronounce, pedal down streets no wider than my hallway? Now, you may ask:"Well what about NASCAR? Don't they just drive around in circles for 3 hours?"

Yes, they do, but there's always the potential for a spectacular crash.

"But there are crashes in the Tour de France."

Yes there are, but no one catches on fire.

For me, the Tour de France falls into the same category as televised chess matches and the Winter Olympics- sports programs I'd surf right past, even if the only alternative was "Judge Hatchett."

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

Good Morning Officer

In general, I am a law abiding citizen.

I also am willing to admit when I am wrong.

For instance, in the last month I have been pulled over twice by Chicago's finest on my way into work.

It's a little speed trap on Western Avenue set up to entangle generally safe drivers like myself.

(For the record, neither time was it my fault.)

What's nice is that it is the same police officer each morning who pulls me over.

I can't fully read his name on the tickets...but it is something like Officer Tim Winton or Walters.

I must say, he is very kind, thorough, knowledgable and pleasant.

He does a very professional job.

Kudos to him.

He's the kind of guy you want to have breakfast with.

I was really starting to feel connected with him.

In some ways I was hoping to speak with him again and show him some pictures of my wife and kids.


Turns out that this morning, he stopped my colleague Valerie in the little trap where he normally pulls me over.

Initially, I felt a little betrayed.

Why her and not me?

What's the deal?

I thought we were developing something special.

I was a little hurt and angry.

But the more I think about it, I'm happy that he is getting to know more of my friends and coworkers.

It will give us more to talk about and maybe even deepen our friendship.

I am going to give him the make and model of Larry and Robin's car and ask that he look into visiting with them too.

What a great guy.


July 25, 2007

Surfin the Net - Faith in Photoshop

Rating - Slightly less than 3 stars

Jezebel.com

July 23, 2007

Surfin' the Ne t- Baby Name Wizard

Rating - 4 Starlas (big in the 60s)

Baby Name Wizard Name Voyager

Apparently 'ADMIN' has never been a popular name. Or 'BLOG'. I suppose that makes me unique.

Sincerely,
Admin Blog O'Malley IV

July 20, 2007

Dean Reviews "Hairspray" and "Chuck and Larry"

Sorry about the "all caps" on this. I'm out of town and can't convert the format of the script that I use when I write the reviews. I'll change it when I get back for those of you tremendously offended by my laziness for not wanting to re-type the whole thing.

"Hairpsray: The Musical"

THE 1988 MOVIE WAS GREAT. WHEN IT TOOK BROADWAY BY STORM, I LIKED IT BUT NEVER LOVED IT. BUT NOW, THE NEW MOVIE VERSION OF "HAIRSPRAY: THE MUSICAL" COMBINES THE TWO FOR SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL.

IT'S TOTAL SUMMER FUN. JUST ABOUT 2 HOURS OF ENERGY AND GREAT SONGS, AMAZING DANCING...A SLIGHTLY IRREVERENT BUT CLEVER STORY OF ACCEPTANCE AND TOLERANCE...AND GREAT PERFORMANCES.

18 YEAR OLD NIKKI BLONSKY WHO WAS DISCOVERED SCOOPING ICE CREAM AT A COLD STONE CREAMRY STORE PLAYS TRACY TURNBLAD, A BALTIMORE TEENAGER WHO DREAMS OF BEING ON THE CORNY COLLINS DANCE SHOW EVEN THOUGH SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THE PERFECT COOKIE CUTTER KIDS ON THE SHOW.

HER MOM, EDNA, HAS BEEN PLAYED BY DIVINE AND HARVEY FIRESTEIN IN OTHER HAIRSPRAY INCARNATIONS; NOW IT'S JOHN TRAVOLTA, WHO LOOKS TERRIFIC IN DRAG, BUT WHO'S AUTHENTIC BALTIMORE ACCENT IS DISTRACTING.

ADD IN AMAZING SUPPORTING PERFORMANCES FROM MICHELLE PHIEFFER AS VELMA TON TUSSLE, THE FORMER MISS BALTIMORE WHO WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET HER DAUGHTER A CROWN...

QUEEN LATIFAH, MOTORMOUTH MAYBELLE, THE MORAL CENTER OF THE FILM TRYING TO HELP INTERGRATE THE DANCE SHOW...

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN AS TRACY'S DAD..HE DOES A MEAN DANCE SCENE WITH TRAVOLTA AND HAS KIND OF A SWEET MOMENT TOGETHER.

THERE'S AMADA BYNES, JAMES MARSEDEN AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, ZACH EFRON OF "HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL" FAME, LINK LARKIN, THE LOVE STRUCK HUNK OF THE DANCE PARTY WHO FALLS FOR TRACY. IN FACT, THE MOVIE IS RATED PG..FOR SOME LANGUAGE, AND I THINK WILL BE OK FOR YOUNG ZACH/AMANDA/MARSDEN FANS.

LOOK FOR CAMEOS FROM SOME "HAIRSPRAY" ORIGINALS IN THIS, ONE OF THE BEST MUSICALS TO COME DOWN IN A LONG TIME. DIRECTOR ADAM SHANKMAN HAS FOUND HIS CALLING AFTER SOME AWFUL FILMS LIKE "THE PACIFIER." EVEN HE ADMITS IT.

IT'S A DON'T MISS IT, DEAN'S LIST "A."

"I Now Pronouce You Chuck and Larry."

ONE OF THE BIG DISAPPOINTMENTS OF THE SUMMER IS ADAM SANDLER AND KEVIN JAMES', AWFUL, "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY." A ONE JOKE COMEDY ABOUT TWO MACHO FIREMEN WHO PRETEND TO BE GAY IN ORDER TO GET DOMESTIC PARTNER BENEFITS; ALMOST TWO HOURS OF JUST ABOUT EVERY TIRED GAY STEREOTYPE YOU'VE EVER HEARD THAT IS NOT ONLY BLATENTLY HOMOPHOBIC BUT JUST BORING.

THEY THROW IN A LITTLE JESSICA BIEL FOR SOME EYE CANDY SO THEY CAN ADD HOT CHICKS TO THEIR TEENAGED BOY NIGHT OF GAY BASHING FUN
.
"SOUL PLANE" DID THE SAME THING WITH INSULTING AFRICAN AMERICAN STEREOTYPES AND THEN TRIED TO RATIONALIZE WITH "IT'S ONLY A JOKE..WE'RE SHOWING HOW BAD WRONG IT IS."

EVERYONE SHOULD BE ABLE TO TAKE A JOKE...BUT WHAT'S WRONG HERE, IS THIS MOVIE.

I LIKE KEVIN JAMES AND ADAM SANDLER, BUT THIS MONOTINOUS, ONE JOKE PONY, ESPECIALLY IN A DAY AND AGE WHEN PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING BEATEN UP ON THE STREET FOR LOOKING A LITTLE DIFFERENT, IS JUST PLAIN STUPID.

A DEAN'S LIST "D MINUS" IS GENEROUS.

THE SPIRITUALITY OF THE SIMPSONS

The Simpsons writers tread, where few have dared to go. The Love Boat always had guest stars like Charo and Dick Van Patten, but the producers never booked God, who has appeared in several Simpson episodes.

It is the creators’ hallmark to take shots at institutions and it would be easy to mock faith, religion and church. But despite the jokes at religion’s expense, there is an underlying spiritual message that we could all learn from.

One of my favorites is where Homer skips church, using the excuses that many viewers use. (Does God care I’m in a building on Sunday?) While the congregation is listening to a boring sermon, in a freezing church, Homer is home watching football and, he even wins a radio contest. He declares it the best day of his life. Then, his cigar sets the house on fire. He is saved by his evangelical neighbor, Ned Flanders; the Hindu clerk Apu and the Jewish clown, Krusty.

“[It] could be seen as divine retribution for his apostasy,” writes philosopher Julian Baggini in a BBC interview. “But what actually led to the fire was not God's wrath but Homer's hubris and arrogance. Sitting on his sofa thinking smugly, ‘Boy, everyone is stupid except me,’ he falls asleep, dropping his cigar. Homer's mistake was to think that he has nothing left to learn from others.”

As much as The Simpson’s were deemed apostles of the devil by early critics, including President George Bush I, the Simpson’s say grace, and go to church, which is more than we ever saw from the Cleavers.

Bart asks Homer what religion the family follows.

He answers, “You know, the one with all the well-meaning rules that don’t work in real life. Uh, Christianity.”

“One way the Simpsons handle religion is to reflect our cultural context,” said Pastor Mike Daly of St. John United Church of Christ in Naperville. “We are able to see how modernity corrupts religious beliefs and practices. Mr. Burns says, “I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business,” suggesting complete allegiance to capitalism will give us a better chance at life.”

Sometimes, we identify more with the philosophical lessons of the modern Springfield Homer than the ancient Greek Homer. The former deals with everything from illegal cable TV hookup, to the temptation of committing adultery.

One of my favorite scenes is when Homer thanks God for his beautiful wife, two kids, and asks to keep everything as it is---perfect. He prays that if the Almighty agrees to keep everything exactly as it is, Homer won’t ask for anything more:

“Confirmation of the deal will come in the form of absolutely no sign. (pause)

There is no sign. In gratitude, I present an offering to God of cookies and milk. Should God want me to eat the cookies himself –show me no sign.”

After a pause, Homer utters the benediction, “Thy will be done.”

(As Homer might say---“sacrelicious.”)

Clearly Homer is confused by God’s nature.

“I feel this incredible surge of power---like God must feel when he’s holding a gun.”

But hey—who isn’t confused?

Even the experts are confounded to explain it. Reverend Lovejoy, in his preachy monotone: “People--I’m doing the best I can with the material I’m given.”

Mark Pinski has updated his popular book, The Gospel According to the Simpsons, in which he crystallizes more of these lessons about religious life.

LP: Have The Simpson's been able to accomplish something that organized religion or new age spirituality has not?

MP:Well, they haven't lost relevance, and they continue to appeal to a broad spectrum of Americans. That's no small accomplishment.

LP: Trinity, soul, the nature of God: theology can create confusion and controversy.

How has the show affected religion or how people believe?

MP: Whenever faith, spirituality or theology are discussed in a sanctuary or a lecture hall, a veil of skepticism often descends over [young people’s] brains. To some degree this is a good thing. But when they are sitting on their couches at home or in common rooms, watching an animated comedy, their minds may be open to such concepts. I think that this, too, is a good thing.

Homer probably isn’t that different from many of us. It’s somewhat refreshing in this day of political correctness, that what many people are thinking in the pews, Homer says out loud. The attitudes about religion may not always be pristine, but in this cartoon, they are very real.


Can't take "NO" for an answer

media-gaggle.jpgI'm not sure I could ever be a hard news reporter. Have you ever seen video of someone (usually a defendant) walking down a street, followed by a gaggle of camera-people and question-askers, refusing to speak or stop?

"Mr. Smith, did you rob the bank?"

Mr. Smith's lawyer: "My client is not speaking today."

"Mr. Smith, WHY did you rob the bank??"

Mr. Smith's lawyer: "My client has no comment."

I don't know . . maybe I've just always been the kind of person who doesn't need to be told the same thing twice, but being rebuffed once would have been enough for me! Plus, who wants to be caught on another station's camera running down the street, sweating, looking all frazzled and frantic.

It's obviously part of the game, but know this- so is laughing at the competition when you see them on someone else's air.

"Wait, here it comes . . he's about to trip . . . wait . . here it is . . DOWN HE GOES!! "

"HAAAAAAAAAA, HAAAAAAAAAAA, HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" (group laughter)

Quality news reporters are just made up of different DNA from me. They don't think about this stuff. They're tenacious, like pitbulls!

Speaking of pitbulls . . .

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

July 19, 2007

Robin's French Toast Casserole recipe

FRENCH TOAST CASSEROLE

----------------------------------------------

2 pkgs 8oz Cream Cheese

8 slices White Bread

1 dozen large eggs

2 cups white milk

1/2 cup syrup

*TEAR BREAD INTO PIECES, PUT IN 9x13 PAN.

*CUBE CREAM CHEESE, PUT ON BREAD.

*MIX EGGS, MILK, AND SYRUP, AND POUR OVER CHEESE & BREAD.

*REFRIGERATE OVERNIGHT.

*BAKE AT 375 DEGREES FOR 45 MINUTES, SERVE.

July 18, 2007

I am the king of karaoke

billy-vera-and-the-beaters.jpgI sang karaoke for the first time 4 years ago. It was at "Cheers III" in Rhinelander, Wisconsin, and I sang "At This Moment," by Billy Vera and the Beaters (the song from the Family Ties episode where Alex's girlfriend Ellen breaks up with him and he's left alone at the train station).

Did I rock?

Let's just say that by the end of the song I had people slow dancing! Arms around waists, heads on shoulders, swaying from one side to the other . . SLOW DANCING!

I soon became a weekly staple at Cheers III, as people were curiuous about the 25-year old sportscaster passionately singing a love song that came out when he was 6. But once I left Rhinelander, I left my karaoke days behind. That was a safe place- stories of my singing could only spread so far in a town of 7,000 people.

My love for karaoke never died, though, and on today's show I was asked last-minute to fill in for a live-band karaoke segment (Mallory Lewis and Lamb Chop opted out of their live slot). With no time to give it any rational thought, I returned to the art form which made me a small-town Michael Bolton.

But this time, I rocked out to Pearl Jam and AC/DC.

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

MY NON-PHOTO OF THE DAY

Ever since this blog debuted, I have prided myself on selecting the one means of weekly entry that is the least amount of work for myself - posting the "photo of the day."
I figure, I've got the digital camera, so why not snap some shots of some of the mopes roaming around the studio, call it a "behind the scenes look at the morning show", and be done with it.

Unfortunately, there is now a wrinkle in my masterful plan: My digital camera is broken.
Well, it's not really broken. The memory card is full, and I don't know how to empty it.
There are 17 hundred pictures on there, and I don't know how to load them onto my computer.

I know. It's easy. I know someone could show me how to do it, and my pictures would be safe. I know.

But, this "computer dunce" act I've been playing has been getting me out of a lot of work around here for years. So I say, why rush it?

Robin
ps.....keep it quiet, ok?

July 17, 2007

Surfin' the Net - New High School Musical

Rating - 3 stars
www.disney.go.com

DVDean's List - July 17, 2007

Here are the week's new DVD's. If you've got questions about these; or when other titles will be on released, let me know.

Dean

Movies:
Premonition
The Hills Have Eyes 2
Avenue Montaigne
Dynamite Warrior
Factory Girl

TV Box Sets:
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog: Volume One
Birdman and the Galaxy Trio: Complete Series
The Business: Season One
Grafters: Season One
Gunsmoke: Season One
The Incredible Hulk: Season Two
Payback: Season One
Rising Damp: Season Four
The Rookies: Season One
Space Ghost & Dino Boy: Complete Series
Vincent: Season One
Voyagers!: Complete Series
Wanted: Dead or Alive - Season Two
William and Mary: Complete Series

Special Editions/Other Releases:
Perfect Creature
Red Dawn: Collector's Edition
Showgirls: Fully Exposed Edition
Traci Townsend
TCM Spotlight: Esther Williams Volume 1

July 16, 2007

No swimming for me this summer

If buying a bathing suit under normal body circumstances is frustrating enough, imagine how mortifying it is to go bathing suit shopping when your pregnant. I had a feeling it would be, so I cut to the chase and, a month before the pending pool party, I by passed going to the stores and ordered a one piece on line.

Yes, I know women look adorable in those two pieces with a bit of belly hanging out but, believe it or not, I'm not that comfy exposing my bare belly, pregnant or not, so I went for the one piece. A gorgeous shocking pink number from gap maternity.

After a week, it arrived at my doorstep and I was so excited to try it on. I thought since I'm mostly belly and chest, how bad could I look. Well, putting it on should have clued me in. Let's just say it felt tight on all the wrong places. One look at the mirror was enough to decide I will not be partaking of the summer swimsuit season this year.

I looked like a hot pink sausage. The bathing suit flattened my voluptuous chest. I looked like my future daughter will probably look like in her first bathing suit a year from now, with her baby gut sticking out. Cute on a one year old, pathetic on a 32 year old. Not to mention that the bottom of the bathing suit had a low rise so, can you say "thunder thighs".

As you can imagine, I quickly returned the suit and wore a cute maternity dress for the party. But I have to admit, I'm dying for a dip in the pool. Do you think maternity shorts and a tank top are as bad a cutoff jeans at the beach???

July 13, 2007

Those are fighting words

thrilla.jpg

Big fights always get catchy slogans.

Ali-Frazier: "The Thrilla in Manilla"

De la Hoya-Mayweather: "The World Awaits"

LewIS
TysON

For the Fernando Vargas-Ricardo Mayorga "megafight" on September 8th, I suggested borrowing the nickname of boxer Erik Morales . . .

lewis-tyson.jpg"EL TERRIBLE!!!!!!"

Don King wisely hocked this fight to Showtime, rather than risk an embarrassing pay-per-view gate. But he may want to reconsider now . . .









http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

I'VE GOT IT!!!

This is Pat posting, and I've got the perfect name for Val's kid. As seeing that she won't embrace the noble, timeless "Patrick" for Maxwell's middle name, I propose . . .

Maxwell MALCOM JAMAL Warner!

theo%20huxtable.bmp


Who's a more worthy namesake than Theo Huxtable?

Surfin' the Net - Hip Hop Video

Rating - 3 stars
www.bestweekever.tv

FRINGE SCIENCE



In recent months, I've written about some strange ideas

*The UFO congress, with its lecture on "How to talk to a ball of light."

*A numerologist who believes the letters in your name can offer insight into how to improve your life by tapping into vibrations in the nervous system.

* A ghost hunter who believed he could detect the sounds of spirits in a downtown Chicago Hooters.

Most of this stuff is pretty laughable -- but that is not what makes it invalid.

After all, they laughed at Copernicus, Galileo and Darwin, too, but those three scientists got it right.

Each year, respected scientists on the faculties of major universities gather to discuss ideas that seem silly. The Society for Scientific Exploration held its annual meeting last month at Michigan State University. According to their Web site, they talked about:

*A fourth dimension of space

* Tracking the mysterious (alleged) Qi "energy force" of the body

* And a "Global Consciousness Project," which has something to do with proving that the entire planet has a consciousness that can be measured through major world events.

This meeting of the minds could solve some of the mysteries of the universe. But unlike the UFO congress, numerologist and ghost hunter, these conventioneers are held to rigorous standards of scientific evidence. The conference is a chance for scientists to put their ideas about a "wild theory" to scientific tests and the scientific scrutiny of their peers.

Roy Machal, a retired professor from the University of Chicago, has spoken at seminars during past conventions. In his presentations, he insists the Loch Ness Monster is real. He wrote a book "The Monsters of Loch Ness" in 1975. He says these animals are found in many lakes in the Northern Hemisphere.

"These animals are primitive whales, known from the fossil record known as zeuglodon cetoides. It ended approximately 19 to 20 million years ago, but is preserved at the Smithsonian They are NOT monsters, but perfectly normal animals that have survived over 75 million years," Mackal told me. "I worked in Lake Champlain two months ago and made contact with one of the animals on sonar, 45 feet in length."

But at this point, the evidence has been circumstantial. Nobody had a carcass or a skeleton to examine.

Forensic investigator, Steve Alten of Ohio, believes Nessie is a giant sea eel and he's making a documentary on the Loch Ness. He says that in March of 2005, two students from Wisconsin found a half-eaten deer carcass and a four-inch barbed palate tooth of a water predator that attacked it at Loch Ness.

But wait a minute, If the eel has to come out of the loch to hunt, wouldn't we have more sightings? I'm no scientist, so I'll leave the verdict to the experts.

"During the 26 years that the SSE has been in existence, none of the anomalous phenomena under study has made a transition from "fringe science" to mainstream science," said Marty Cawthon of the SSE. "That such research goes on with mostly ambiguous and unconvincing results is a form of progress," she claims.

Why is so much failure progress? Albert Einstein said that in his scientific pursuits, imagination was more important than knowledge. The attendees at the fringe scientist seminar seem to have a wonderful imagination, and it is important that they have an outlet to push the limits, but in a responsible way.

Copernicus and Darwin were on their own; two "wild and crazy ideas" separated by 300 years. It will be fun to see the next wild and crazy idea that turns out to be right, and that solves another mystery of the universe.

July 12, 2007

Big Mamas Spa Day

The babymoon, that last romantic getaway before the baby takes over your life, is meant for a couple. But I took the next best thing when I went to check out the babymoon package at the Four Seasons Hotel Chicago, my girlfriend Valerie Warner.

Val and I are due exactly 10 days apart from each other. She on October 2nd and I on the 12th. Val has been more than supportive during my first pregnancy ever and I have been there for her during her second time around. So what better reward than a day at the Spa in the name of journalism.

Needless to say, as you'll see in the story attached here, we had a blast. Due to time constraints we literally had a taste of everything, so a short massage and manicure. But our favorite was the visit from the ice cream man. Every pregnant woman's dream come true.

What you didn't see was even funnier. Getting on the massage tables was quite a feat. We are at that point where they recomend you don't lay on your back for long periods of time. so we had to get up on those tables, lay on our sides and put a pillow between our legs. Also, since we are overflowing with gurth, we had to be mindful that no extra body parts were showing. Thank good we had a camera woman working with us.

The package is pricey but it includes a free copy of "What to expect when your expecting", a toast to fatherhood, a visit from the ice cream man and discount coupons from many baby stores in the area.

It's a mad, mad mascot world

TCNJ-LIONS.jpgWhatever happened to traditional mascot names? When I was in elementary school, I was a Mustang; in junior high, a Warrior; in high school I was a Rocket, and in college a Lion. Years ago, team nicknames didn't have to mean anything. They were just names! I don't think anyone ever enlightened the school board with:

"You know, I've always thought our kids were very dynamic and explosive, like firecrackers."

"Or rockets."

"Yeah, like rockets! That's it! ROCKETS! We'll name them the ROCKETS!"

It was probably one guy, checking the nicknames of every other school in the county to see which had already been taken.

Tigers? Taken.

UNF-OSPREYS.jpg
Braves? Taken.

Raiders? Taken.

Bulldogs??? DAMMIT! Taken!

What's happened today is that people want to get creative; they want to be inspiring; they want to be symbolic. And so we're left with soft, crappy nicknames like the Centenary College Gentlemen, the North Florida Ospreys, and the Geneva College Golden Tornadoes.

Ask anyone who's ever survived a tornado if they'd classify it as GOLDEN!!!!!

DETROIT-SHOCK.jpg
Colleges and universities are most often the guiltiest parties, but anytime a new pro sports league emerges, the marketing brain trust of America gets to work. How about some of these names from the WNBA, or the Arena Football League?

The Sun, the Shock, the Fever, the Mercury, the Crush, the Force, the Storm, the Blaze.

Has pluralizing words gone out of style?!?! Naming your team after a singular word is just dumb, and I don't like that because I'm the one who ends up sounding like a dope.

"The Shock is shooting very well tonight."

You see?!?!

It's not that I have a problem with schools and teams getting creative. It's that kind of initiative and individuality which has given us The Long Beach State DIRTBAGS, the UC-Santa Cruz BANANA SLUGS, and the Campbel FIGHTING CAMELS!

Basically, I have 2 simple rules for branding your team with an original name.

1) It's unique and fun

or 2) I can make fun of it.

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

No-limit lunacy

tobey-maguire.jpg
Chances are, Tobey Maguire's never been seen at 7-Eleven buying a Powerball ticket. So why is Spiderman in the World Series of Poker? He doesn't need the money, and his chances of winning either are about the same!

There are over 6,000 people in this year's field. If Spidey wants to play a few hands with some shmoes that badly, I can gather up some friends for a lot less than ten grand (his WSOP buy-in). We'd even let him win a few hands!

shannon-elizabeth.jpg
Maguire isn't the only celeb in the event. Jennifer Tilly, Jason Alexander and Shannon Elizabeth are some of the others. Elizabeth told the Associated Press: "I'm trying to be a pro player so I'm hoping people take me more seriously."

It'd be the first career people take her seriously in.

montel.jpg
The problem is, some of these celebrities are actually pretty good, increasing their odds of snatching the $8 million top prize from you or me. Montel Williams even held the lead at one point in the early going, but some awful calls put him back near the bottom.

I suppose that's only fair. One man shouldn't win the lottery twice in his life.

If it's a hobby for these people, fine. But if they win, they better not keep that money.

Unless they're paying off legal bills


http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo

Why I like Tom

DSCN6574.jpg
People always ask me about Tom Skilling.

They want to know what he is like.

I always say the same thing.

He is the smartest, nicest guy on the planet.

He is clearly the best at what he does.

However, he does come with a few quirks.

Sometimes he gets so caught up with what he is doing he loses track of the world around him.

Yesterday he must have really been in the zone.

He never got around to eating his lunch or dinner.

Here is an exclusive look at Tom's soup.

This is something you won't see on any other website.

Enjoy.

Konrad

July 11, 2007

Rory's First Kiss (Batman/Dark Knight) Casting Call

On the show today, I talked about a casting call that's being held for "Rory's First Kiss." That's been reported as the code name for the new Batman movie that's being shot here, "The Dark Knight" starring Christian Bale.

If you're interesed it's this Saturday, July 14,from 10:00am-3:30pm at the Chicago Academy for the Arts...1010 W. Chicago Avenue. They're looking for men and women of all ethnicities, 18 years of age and older, to work as paid extras as "victims or perpetatorswithin a city beseiged with crime and corruption." That would be Gotham City.

The ask that you bring a recent color photgraph and a pen.

Good Luck!
Dean

Surfin' the Net - How to do Anything

Rating - 3 stars
www.expertvillage.com

July 10, 2007

I'd rather watch a PINEWOOD derby!

FRED-JONES.jpg
Baseball's Home Run Derby was last night, and I fear we're only a year or two away from it going the way of the NBA Slam Dunk contest. Soon we'll have MLB's equivalent of Gerald Green or Fred Jones hoisting the holy homerun trophy.

Now who would that be in baseball?

Matt Holliday? Alex Rios?

Oh wait, those guys are already in the Derby!

Both are fine players, but remember when Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa and Ken Griffey all competed in the same Derby? Or when Sosa, Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi all teed off together?

HEE-SOP-CHOI.jpg
Granted, there have been exceptions. How in God's name Hee-Seop Choi snuck in there in 2005 still hasn't been explained to me. And I still wonder who John Jaha had naked pictures of in 1999.

CONGRESS.jpg
The Home Run Derby used to mean something, and it needs to mean something again. Give these guys a reason to compete. Maybe the winner gets a million bucks? Or better yet, Congressional immunity!

I long for the days of the old Home Run Derby- the old black and white TV show from the '50s where stars went head-to-head, and the winner got paid! One week it'd be Mickey Mantle vs. Willie Mays, the next week Ernie Banks vs Harmon Killebrew. None of this 3 round nonsense they have now. Those guys went 9 innings! And when the other guy batted, they had to sit with the play-by-play guy!

OLD-HOMERUN-DERBY.jpg"Willie just hit 6 homeruns that inning, Mick. Can you hit 7 to win?"

"Well gee Mark, I sure will try my best. Willie's a great hitter, and 7 is an awful lot."

That was good television! Nervous, nonsensical banter from a guy wondering how he was gonna make that extra 5 grand!

Now what do we get?

"Back, back, back . . . gone!"

At least we still have Vladimir Guerrero.

July 9, 2007

Surfin' the Net - Blondie Video

Rating - 3 stars
www.rip-her-to-shreds.com

D-V-Dean's List - New DVDs July 10, 2007


Movies:
The Astronaut Farmer
The Last Mimzy
After the Wedding
The Page Turner
Sweet Land
My Super Sweet Sixteen: The Movie
The Contractor
You're Gonna Miss Me

TV Box Sets:
Beauty and the Beast: Season Two
Bewitched: Season Five
Drawn Together - Uncensored!: Season Two
Extras: Season Two
Hustle: Season Three
My Super Sweet 16: Seasons One & Two
Punky Brewster: Volumes 1-6
Shark Week: The 20th Anniversary Collection

Special Editions/Other Releases:
Home Run Derby
2006-2007 Stanley Cup Champions

July 6, 2007

LESSONS FROM A 3 YEAR OLD

My daughter, Kaylin, turns 3 tomorrow. One thing is for sure, children make you see the world a lot differently.

For example, the impact of watching TV. Some have suggested over the years

that the Teletubbies' Tinky Winky is gay because the purple character

carries a woman's purse. I'll reserve judgment on Tinky Winky's impact on

children, but the issue is certainly more complex, and yet more subtle than when I was a

kid watching Bugs Bunny drop anvils on Elmer Fudd. (And to this day I have

yet to drop an anvil on anyone.)

However I am sensitive to my daughter's TV viewing. When Cookie Monster

yells "Me so hungry!" I think, "Hey, that's horrible grammar!" Here are a

few other things I've noticed as a parent.

>> We now have 52 stuffed animals. I don't know what that means for the

number of dust mites; but I do know that she 80 percent of the various

dogs, bears and dolls are named Elmo in her mind.

>> The chances of a child letting go of her mylar balloon and the balloon

getting tangled in the ceiling fan that is six inches higher than the

tallest person on the tallest ladder is 98 percent. The advice here is to

tie all balloons to a stuffed animal. If the balloon gets away, that's one

stuffed dinosaur and 10 million dust mites along for the ride.

>>Don't stifle creativity by questioning logic. Her favorite game is "Daddy

impersonates Goofy acting like a dinosaur, with a horse hand-puppet and

wearing a pointy purple birthday hat." It all makes sense. H.R.

Puff-N-Stuff would be proud of the randomness.

>> Flossing is important. But using the string from a helium balloon that's

tied to the high-chair is considered bad table manners by some.

>> Children are smarter than we give them credit for. A visit from the

Easter Bunny would be a cherished memory, in theory; unless the Easter

Bunny is 6-foot-3. I have to say I'm quite proud of her for thinking

that's nuts and running for cover.

>> I admire her optimism. Kaylin tried to eat fried rice using one

chopstick, when most adults have difficulty eating it with two.

>>She insists on hearing stories about the Australian super-group The

Wiggles. The Wiggles go to the zoo; Wiggles play soccer; Wiggles go to the

store to buy a stick of butter. Yes, at some point, the well of ideas runs

dry, but you realize kids just want a little quantity time with their

quality time.

> She was quite amazed upon seeing her first rainbow, but perplexed that it

was not there the next day or the next. I explained that the rainbow may

not always be there, but her parents would be.

Dean Reviews "Transformers" and "License to Wed."

TRANSFORMERS:
All actors are entitled to a bad movie once in a while. Robin Williams adds to that ever-growing list of his this week. And it’s the 80's toy that's been turned into a big screen. Brokeback Cabbage Patch? Rubik’s Cube: The Musical?

No, it's "Transformers"...a not so clever story about competing robot species that are threatening human survival. It’s a dumb story that somehow manages to be a lot of fun.

Shia LeBoeuf is one of the hottest young actors in Hollywood coming off of his surprise hit, "Disturbia" from earlier this year. He’s made his mark in some art films and now he proves he can hang with the multi-plex big boys fronting what will be one of summer's biggest movies.

"Pearl Harbor" director, Michael Bay, assembles a high-powered action ride with these likeable young actors doing their best with a razor thin plot line.

Much of "Transformers" is right out of the "Creatures Attacking Earth Handbook." They’re actual stories that are transformed into clichés but I didn't care.

"Transformers" is plain old summer fun. The effects are great and the film never takes itself too seriously.

Megan Fox is the hot love interest. Tyrese Gibson, Josh Dumal, Anthony Anderson, Bernie Mac, Jon Voight and John Turturro are solid side players.

This is what summer movies are supposed to be. It’s a Dean’s List “B+.”


LICENSE TO WED:
I never thought I would see a Robin Williams movie worse than his recent, "RV." But then again, I said the same thing when "Bicentennial Man" and "Popeye" came out. Well, I’m saying it again with “License To Wed.”

Does Robin Williams actually read these scripts before agreeing to be in the film?

In it, he plays an irreverent reverend, which puts Mandy Moore and John Krasinski, Jim from “The Office.” through boot camp pre-nuptial counseling to make sure they're right for each other.

Krasinski is as smooth as ever, but what a way to make your big screen debut. He’s more talented than just being a punching bag for Robin Williams' unfunny bantering. Mandy Moore is as cute as button but doesn’t add much more than eye candy.

Also, should a man of the cloth have a 10-year-old boy as his constant sidekick? It was a little creepy.

Unfunny, dumb and predictable. A Dean’s List “D.”

July 5, 2007

Surfin the Net- Pearl's Return

Good Cop, Baby Cop

Put up or throw up

Joey Chestnut
True luminaries often go by only one name.

Socrates

Aristotle (not Onassis)

Bono

Cher

KOBAYASHI!!

Joey ChestnutThe greatness of this little 165 lb. Japanese man made competitive eating impossible to ignore, and for 6 years he was impossible to beat. But Kobayashi has finally been defeated at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. How did a new winner emerge?

By eating 33 feet worth of hot dog!

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo



July 3, 2007

Middle Name-less...

So, by now, if you haven't figured out I'm pregnant, you're probably blind.
I'm 7 months and counting.
My due date is October 2nd.
It's a boy.
My husband and I have come up with a name.....SORT OF!
We've settled on Maxwell Warner.
But we don't have a clue on a middle name.
My family has given us some ideas, but we're not sold on any of them.
Now, I need your help filling in this blank--------Maxwell ???? Warner.
Shoot me your ideas and maybe we'll pick one and have a big reveal on the ol' morning show.
Who knows?!!?!?

Val

Surfin' the Net -- Virtual Firworks

Rating - 2 stars
www.cyberfireworks.com

July 2, 2007

Surfin' the Net - Old TV Shows

www.tv-links.co.uk/

Malia Mania

We respect her only because we fear her...

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