WGN Morning News Blog

Whatever happened to traditional mascot names? When I was in elementary school, I was a Mustang; in junior high, a Warrior; in high school I was a Rocket, and in college a Lion. Years ago, team nicknames didn't have to mean anything. They were just names! I don't think anyone ever enlightened the school board with:

"You know, I've always thought our kids were very dynamic and explosive, like firecrackers."

"Or rockets."

"Yeah, like rockets! That's it! ROCKETS! We'll name them the ROCKETS!"

It was probably one guy, checking the nicknames of every other school in the county to see which had already been taken.

Tigers? Taken.

Braves? Taken.

Raiders? Taken.

Bulldogs??? DAMMIT! Taken!

What's happened today is that people want to get creative; they want to be inspiring; they want to be symbolic. And so we're left with soft, crappy nicknames like the Centenary College Gentlemen, the North Florida Ospreys, and the Geneva College Golden Tornadoes.

Ask anyone who's ever survived a tornado if they'd classify it as GOLDEN!!!!!

Colleges and universities are most often the guiltiest parties, but anytime a new pro sports league emerges, the marketing brain trust of America gets to work. How about some of these names from the WNBA, or the Arena Football League?

The Sun, the Shock, the Fever, the Mercury, the Crush, the Force, the Storm, the Blaze.

Has pluralizing words gone out of style?!?! Naming your team after a singular word is just dumb, and I don't like that because I'm the one who ends up sounding like a dope.

"The Shock is shooting very well tonight."

You see?!?!

It's not that I have a problem with schools and teams getting creative. It's that kind of initiative and individuality which has given us The Long Beach State DIRTBAGS, the UC-Santa Cruz BANANA SLUGS, and the Campbel FIGHTING CAMELS!

Basically, I have 2 simple rules for branding your team with an original name.

1) It's unique and fun

or 2) I can make fun of it.

http://www.myspace.com/pattomasulo