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May 31, 2008

Is James Van Praagh for real?

I received emails in response to James Van Praagh’s appearance Thursday at 8. He’s the guy who claims he can talk to your deceased grandmother. You may remember he had a show on WGN a few years back. I can see it now. Van Praagh asking the audience, "My sixth sense tells me there’s a John here? There is? A-ha!"
There is no shortage of people trying to make a fortune reading your fortune.

You might think that with the cameras rolling on a “psychic” TV show, we’d finally find out once and for all whether this legendary power exists. But don’t be fooled.

Jim Underdown of the Center for Inquiry-West and hsi team of investigators did an expose of Van Praagh’s and John Edward’s syndicated TV shows a few years ago.

"We recorded everything in studio and compared it to what aired. They were substantially different in the accuracy. They’re getting rid of the wrong guesses," Underdown said. "Once you pull back the curtain and see how it’s done, it’s not impressive at all."

While some psychics are clearly frauds, there are many others who believe they have some power—though they never have been tested under controlled conditions.

If self-proclaimed psychics have any real ability, they should contact Underdown. His organization will award $50,000 to anyone who can demonstrate psychic ability under scientific testing.

Psychics don’t seem to rely on their "powers" to detect their own cancer--they go to the doctor, like the rest of us. They don’t predict when the train will arrive--they look at the train schedule. And even psychics (along with everyone else) can guess correctly now and then. But under scientific scrutiny, and incorporating statistical probability, no psychic has met the test.

In the end, the psychic phenomenon you see on TV will only be an illusion, much like it is in real life.


May 30, 2008

Monday on WGN's Morning News...

WARNING: VIEWER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!
Pat and Val handle today's promo...but I have to warn you, it gets a little CRAZY! Find out what happens...and what's coming up on Monday's show, all in this web promo EXCLUSIVE.

WHEN TV WAS DY-NO-MITE

In the 1970's we faced touch choices. Woodward and Bernstein had to decide whether to trust Deep Throat. President Gerald Ford had to reflect on whether to pardon Nixon. And Americans had to choose between Donnie and Marie, or Chico and the Man on Friday night.

Mike Toomey remembers growing up in Carol Stream, when the President interrupted "Happy Days" with a message, that Mike has long since forgotten.

"Is he an idiot---of all times!" Come on during Mannix or something! Doesn't he know what's on?!"

'Sit on it' Gerald Ford!

Toomey's performs his one-man show "TV and Me" at the Skokie Theater tonight and Saturday at 8pm. I saw it last weekend with Dean. It is hysterical. People laughted all the way through. You know Toomey from his appearances on WGN as Skip Parker and Lord of the Limerick. Capture the childhood magic through the comic's amazing impersonations of Adam West and Andy Griffith.

"I remember everything they said on the sitcoms but conversely I couldn't remember anything I was suppose to learn in school. I couldn't remember important dates, but I could remember everything Fonzie said. Every kid, now, when there's something wrong, they assign letters to them---a-d-d, and o-c-d; When I was a kid-they just said, 'well, he's an idiot.'"

Hey Robin Williams and Chris Rock didn't get to where they are now because they aced the history quiz. Schoolhouse Rock got me through the high school multiple-choice exams of my public school education. I remember '75 was a big year in American history----in the 18th century, colonists were inspired by 'Give me liberty or give me death;' and in the 20th century, "Up your nose with a rubber hose" marked the debut of ''Welcome Back Kotter'' on ABC.

The catch phrase was a 70's stabple: J-J Walker's "Dy-no-mite," and Arnold's "What'chu talkin' bout Willis." They seem so cheap now.

"They were so contrived," Toomey told me. "They'd do it and everyone would clap-like Pavlov's dog."

Mailing It In

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Time for another installment of "Mailing It In." Sorry it's taken a little while this time, but I was on a Red Cross mission in the Balkans. This week, I'm answering some questions about repeating myself, and my predecessor (who apparently had a speedo and leather fetish).


Isn't it Paul's turn to make you eat something from the Wheel of Death????
- Kevin Merrill, Chicago

I'm sorry, Kevin, but I know not what you speak of. I can only imagine you're referencing something which is the EXACT OPPOSITE of a "Wheel of Death." And that is our very special "Wheel of LIFE," the vending machine in our cafeteria that provides nourishing snacks and heartily nutritious meals for everyone at WGN. If anyone ever referred to it as the "Wheel of Death," AND did a segment on it, that was certainly in poor taste, and management knew better than to let it continue.


Good Morning Pat. You are a wonderful sports anchor but what I would Like to know is why does every segment show the exact same thing I know you all have pick up more coverage than just the exact same segment each and every time it is time to speak. This goes on for four hours every day why stay on for so long if you are just going to repeat that same thing everytime. This os not just the sports segment but the whole show for the entire FOUR HOURS.
- Robin, Chicago

There is only one way you could know that we repeat ourselves all 4 hours, and that's if you're watching ALL 4 HOURS! I believe this is the first issue we must address. Are you in a body cast?


What is the significance of baseball players keeping the back pocket inside out. on their uniforms? I noticed AJ does but missed the comment regarding the reasoning behind it. Thanks.Enjoy your segments.
- Pat McCormick, Chicago

Pat, there is an epidemic in baseball right now that's bigger than steroids, or inflated salaries, or the Tampa Rays being in first place. Pick-pocketing. Players across both leagues have been having their wallets stolen, and this has been interfering terribly with their social agendas- and not so much because of their money, credit cards or ID's being stolen.


Pat, I was wanting to find out why Notre Dame gets talked about more even when they lose vs other local Div 1 college teams when they are winning? Do they slide you an extra $$ to hear their name on tv? Less ND please.....Thanks
- Doug, Oswego

Yeah, that's it. Notre Dame won 3 games last year, and of most importance to them is hearing the school's name mentioned on an early morning local newscast.


You have been around a while now so the honeymoon is over - when are you going to to sports in a speedo like Mike Barz did? You may be do sports but brother you aint no Mike Barz
- Eric, Gurnee

Asking me to wear the "Sports Speedo" would be like asking me to start doing a "Top Ten List," or a "Jaywalking" segment. These are trademarked bits specific to their creators. Mike Barz didn't just wear the "Sports Speedo"; Mike Barz IS the "Sports Speedo." How would you feel if he went on the air claiming he owned FOX-32?

Plus, the guy's 6'5." I can't compete with legs like that.


Your predecessor, Mike Barz, once did a leather clothing fashion segment. With IML (International Mr. Leather) 30 coming up this Memorial Day weekend, any chance you'd do a leather clothing segment?
- John G., Chicago

Again, another signature bit for Mike, but one I nearly made an exception for. Did you notice that I waited until after the competition to answer you? I couldn't think of a reasonable excuse, as I love the feel of leather on my thighs. Ultimately, I just couldn't steal his idea.

By the way, can you believe it's already IML 30??? It seems like IML 10 was just yesterday!!!


This morning you were sitting at your desk doing the sports and it looked like there were 2 bobbleheads on your desk. They are personalized? One looked like you and the other like Larry. The reason I'm asking - my husband ordered 50 personalized bobbleheads of himself and would love to send you one for your desk to display. Would you be interested? Let me know. I have 50 of them to give away.
- Gina Iannantone, Plainfield

So let me get this straight. Your husband ordered 50 bobbleheads of himself, and he has 50 to give away? Were they so bad he didn't even want one? I guess I'll take one, though I have to say, you're not exactly making a hard sell here. I do, in fact, have a personalized bobblehead. Larry does not. Is this the bobblehead you're mistaking for him? And if so, what are you saying about his hair?
bobblehead.JPG


Pat, As you were walking down Broadway crossing Aldine yesterday in your blue/grey workout clothes, the collective gasps and sighs from the boys at Caribou could be heard for blocks! Yet, you seemed oblivious to the "man-traction" of it all. Great to see you!
- John, Chicago

Was that around 3:00? Apparently your adulation was so loud, a buddy of mine thought Ricky Martin was in the neighborhood. Sadly, I was oblivious to the "man-traction," as I am oblivious to many things in my life, like smoke alarms, paying credit cards, and authority figures in general.


Cougar got your tongue? Apologize, you witless, wantabie WGN TV reporter, for your distasteful, arrogant and for lack of better words, stupid, anal portrayal of seniors. You will be lucky if you are around for two more years of your immature portrait of a mature individual. Suck it in, apologize and if you don't know the meaning, ask one of your associates to find the meaning of apology in a dictionary. Better yet, dust your self off and head for parts unknown. The St. Valentine's Day massacre had more credibility then your poor excuse for farce.
- CeCE, Downers Grove

Wow! A little late to the party, no, CeCee? I did that bit like 4 weeks ago! Perhaps it took you that long to craft these eloquent and persuasive remarks. Well allow me to retort. I said the piece was a look at what I would be like as an old man, and it is. I simply took some of my current character traits (farting, poor driving and stage fright at the urinal) and advanced them 50 years.

I'm also confused as to what exactly an "anal portrayal" is. Are you sure you're reeeeaaaalllly lacking for better words here????


You need to grow a mustache. Will you sport one for the summer?
- Bryan, Chicago

Summer is not a time for facial hair, Bryan, but the winter of '07 was (see below)
fu%20man%20chu.jpg

Surfin' the Net - Harvey Korman

Rating - 4 stars
www.faniq.com

May 29, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

In today's edition of Pat and Paul's Promo, the guys try to focus their webcam (and their attention). Paul shows off photos of a Chicago newsie that make Pat complain, "That guy gets more air time on this station than I do!" Find out who...

Pat attempts to translate tomorrow's features into very broken Spanish. See the mayhem Pat and Paul get into when their producer lets them out of her sight.

Surfin' the Net - Dog Videos

Rating - 4 stars
www.longliveyourdog.com

May 28, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Paul speaks directly to you through his magic webcam. Speaking of magic, there's a guy on tomorrow that can read your mind. Also, Paul has some ideas on why Pat is missing...

Surfin' the Net - James Bond Parody

Rating - 2 stars
www.youtube.com/user/Goldentusk

I've Decided!

About a week ago, I posed the question, camp or no camp, for my daughter this summer.
Well, here it is....

NO CAMP!

I'm still not sure if I've made the right decision.
She's probably going to drive me crazy everyday...but I have lined up a few regular activities for her this summer that should keep her busy.

PLUS,

Paul and Robin have offered to take both my kids at some point this summer.
Paul promises to teach Max how not to catch crabs!
Robin will show Zoe how to be a couch potato...Robih's good at that.

Val

May 27, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Larry & Robin join Paul for this promo. They are accompanied by a special guest who gets a little camera happy! Check it out here, in today's web promo EXCLUSIVE.

Surfin' the Net - 16 Candles by Cartoon Bunnies

Ratings - 2 stars
www.starz.com

May 26, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Paul has an abbreviated promo for you today...but of course, he has all the info on tomorrow's show to deliver to you! Plenty in store, including tips on having a 'Sex and the City' themed party...tune in below to find out more.

Surfin' the Net - Gladys Knight & The New Pips

Rating - 3 stars
www.showhype.com

May 23, 2008

Monday on WGN's Morning News...

AND NOOOOOOW...THE STARTING LINE UP FOR YOUR, MORNING NEWS! Anyone familiar with the Chicago Bulls opening?? Well, the morning crew came up with something similar...check it out!

COME HAVE A DRINK WITH US

The 1970’s was the greatest era of pop culture. Happy Days was appointment viewing—Tuesday nights at 8pm on ABC. Everyone was in front of the TV to watch the parade of catch-phrases: Heeey; whoooah; Sit on it; “I found my thrill…”; etc. etc. With today’s technology, 30 people in the room could be watching 30 different shows. There’s no shared cultural experience. For the next two weeks, you can recapture the magic at Mike Toomey’s “TV and Me” at the Skokie Theater (Fri&Sat 8pm). You know Mike as WGN’s fourth-string sportscaster, Skip Parker. The show is fantastic.
You may catch some of the WGN morning staff at the show and if you do, please don’t be afraid to buy us drinks before and after the show.//


Surfin' the Net - Dating Site for Married People

Rating - 2 stars
www.ashleymadison.com

May 22, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

This entire promo is done in español!...with the help of Ana, that is. Pat & Paul want to branch out to a larger audience so they thought this may help! Tune in to hear Paul's spanish speaking skills...and also to find out what's coming up on tomorrow's show!

Surfin' the Net - Paul's Brother's Phone Call

Rating - 3 stars
www.blip.tv/file/926087

May 21, 2008

A whole lotto fun

I'm embarassed to admit it, but I completely forgot the NBA Draft Lottery was on last night. I was watching the Sox game, when along the bottom of the screen came the words: "BREAKING NEWS." Now, being a regular viewer of ESPN News, I've become conditioned to those 2 words preceding headlines like these:

"Lorena Ochoa will skip Swiss Bank Open (shoulder)"

"Penguins sign D Sergei Gonchar to 2-year extension through 2011" . . . . and . . .

"Programming change: Hawks vs Blazers moved from ESPN to ESPN2"

Naturally, I only paid half-attention to what this "breaking news" actually was. But when it stayed up longer than I could tolerate, I glanced down to carefully read the headline. It was shortly after I finished, that I stopped paying attention to the person I was on the phone with.

My first thought? Derrick Rose is coming home. But the Bulls can't go wrong with Rose or Michael Beasley- the pick will ultimately be decided by which guys they're able to trade to balance out the roster. If dealing some guards nets them a better return, Rose is the pick; if dealing some big men does it, then Beasley is the pick.

The next 10 years of Bulls basketball were forever altered last night. I just wish I would have been able to experience it live. And after watching tape of it this morning, I really wish I could have experienced it live.

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Larry joins Pat & Paul for this promo...well, kinda. Tune in below to see what I mean! Also, they let you in on all you need to know about tomorrow's Morning Show...so check it out!

VAL IS CRAZY

Never volunteer

I really have to remember to get more information before agreeing to do things on air.

Larry starts with "We want you to read a children's story on the air..." and I agree. I REALLY have to remember to get more information before agreeing to do things on air.

For the record, I do not believe plastic surgery is great.

I remain,

Stagehand Dave

Surfin' the Net - I've Got a Secret

Rating - 3 stars
www.berm.co.nz

May 20, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

We want to add a bit more variety to the promo...so Val joins Pat for this one! Coming up on tomorrow's Morning Show...Mario Lopez joins us! Also, we're Around Town with a famous musical artist...find out who by watching the web EXCLUSIVE below.

Camp or No Camp?

So, Robin and I got into a friendly little debate the other morning.
It started when I was talking out loud about what to do with my oldest kid this summer.
I brought up the word CAMP and she piped in...(You know Robin...always something to add!)
She says summer is for kids to play at home and relax and that I am just a slacker for thinking about sending my kid to camp.
I say camp is a great place for kids to have fun with friends doing organized activities and learning a ton of new things, like swimming
I could go on about our GREAT DEBATE, but I won't bore you :-)

So, who's right?????

Robin = NO CAMP Val = CAMP

I'll tell you later what I decided to do with my kid!

Val

Surfin' the Net - Top Ten TV Meltdowns

Rating - 4 stars
www.gawker.com

May 19, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

A furry, tiny, adorable, four-legged friend steals the show from Paul & Pat! See for yourself what I'm talking about. Also, get the scoop on tomorrow's show...all this in today's web promo EXCLUSIVE.

Equal-opportunity sportscasting

I think we cover women's sports pretty adequately on this show. It's never enough for some viewers, but that's pretty universal- no one ever thinks their favorite sport or favorite team gets enough attention. I get it. But I'm trying to maintain a balance here, between what the majority of our audience wants to see, and how we can make interesting that which they don't care to.

Hence, my dilemma with showing myself on camera.

We're staunch proponents of women's sports here on the morning show. Beach volleyball, gymnastics, wrestling- any time we can find a local angle in any of these sports, we'll show hilites. If the Sky had a game the previous night, we'll show the hilites; if the Sky had a game 3 nights ago, we won't show hilites. If a female golfer wins a tournament, we might show hilites; if a female golfer wins a tournament and then jumps in a big pond on the course, we'll definitely show hilites.

(Do you see what I mean about striking that balance?)

I recently got an e-mail from someone who's satisfied with our coverage of the Chicago Sky, but naturally wants more. Again, I understand. It's the last part of her e-mail that has me confused.



Need financial advice?

Financial columnist Terry Savage will be here tomorrow at 6:45am to answer your questions about money. Email your questions to feedback@wgntv.com.

Surfin' the Net - Celebs Who Look Like Muppets

Rating - 3 stars
www.cityrag.blogs.com

May 18, 2008

Mailing It In

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Here it is, our first edition of "Mailing It In." I've chosen 10 questions to answer in this week's edition. I hope you are well-served and better informed by my responses. I'm just one man trying to make a difference.

To solve our nation's obesity crisis, Richard Simmons should create and lead an army of those "Seven-Bots" from the Bally's commercial. Can you forward this message to him? Unless they have already created an "Eight".
- Jonah, St. Charles

I'm scheduled to see Richard in 2 weeks when I produce his new workout video- "Sweatin to Gangsta Rap." How about I bring up your question in person, rather than in an impersonal e-mail? There is, in fact, an "Eight" in development, but right now it's only a prototype.


Do you know some websites or auditions me and my friend can do to become famouse actress we always wanted to do this if you can give us advice this will be a dream cometrue thanks
- Alexis, Chicago

Well, being a famous actress myself, I have loads of experience and expertise in this area. There are a number of websites out there that offer help, but most of them require visitors be at least 18 years old- I find they can be a bit limiting. My advice would be to stage your own productions at various "L" stops throughout the city, or in front of a Walgreens. Talent scouts often frequent these areas, and I know passers-by love the entertainment and are not inconvenienced by it in the least bit. Good luck!


How come no one is reporting on the "Promoter's Ordinance" that city council is voting on in about 24 hours?
- Brandon, Rolling Meadows

I am not involved in the planning done by our news department, but I've noticed the City Council meetings that get the most coverage are those that devolve into a pie-throwing episode of Bozo (granted, those are about 73% of their meetings). Perhaps if one set of promoters was for foie gras, and the other against, it'd get more attention.


I love to watch the Cubbies. When watching the Cubs on WGN, there is a notation in the upper right hand corner of the picture which proclaims the video is being sent in Hi-Def. I am sorry. The picture quality is so bad, I cannot watch it anymore. If you are not on ESPN, I don't get to atch your games. Sorry. Come to Florida with a technician and see for yourself what I am talking about. The picture quality is horrible. Actually the only one worse is the Rays network out of Tampa, and I don't care about them anyway
- Warren Miller, The Villages, FL

Warren, last I was made aware, the WGN Morning News is not seen on the Superstation, which means you have absolutely no idea who I am. For all you know, I could work in the mail room. However, this is your lucky day. I was able to free up a few afternoons this week, and me and a technician are coming down to fix everything! Just give me your address, some days and times when you'll be out of the house (we like to work uninterrupted), leave your keys in the mailbox and a detailed map showing all the escape routes out of your subdivision.


My name is Luke Schneider and I have a 7th grade english project that I could use your help with an interview. I have 9 questions to ask in an interview. I don't want to pressure you...but my total grade depends on your answers and you wouldn't want to let an impressionable young future sportscaster and Tomasulo fan down would you? I've missed the bus 15 times because of you.......Its a long walk to school.
- Luke, Crystal Lake

First off, it's not a long enough walk. You kids these days are soft- too much X-Box and not enough manual labor. When I was a kid, we didn't even have the bus. I had to find a buddy and alternate piggy-back rides to school. Second, what kind of teacher puts a student's entire grade in my hands? Has he or she seen my work? I dress up like an old man and fart for a living! I'll answer your questions, but I hope you haven't made any plans this summer.


You ought to come check out the Anglo-Irish madhouse at Fado tavern on May 21st when our beloved Manchester United play Chelsea in the European Champions Cup final!
- Ivor Irwin, Chicago

Is Ivor really your name? I'm looking at my keyboard and noticing how close "V" is to "G." Is it Ivor or Igor? And do you all headbutt each other when your team scores a goal? If so, I'll strongly consider it.


Why can't you be a kiss up like juan carlos?
- Ernie, Palatine

Great question. Now ask me why I can't dunk like Michael Jordan.


Pat, easy on the makeup. You are a sportscaster, not a drag queen.
- Sharon Needles, Chicago

Sharon, our makeup artist is a wonderfully gifted yet very sensitive woman. If she sees this question, I will hear about it for the next 6 months. And if I have to hear about it for the next 6 months, I am going to hunt you down and destroy you.

Otherwise, thanks for watching!


Hey Pat, is it possible I can come to WGN and see the operation (Live) before I go to work?
- William Stewart, Jr., Chicago

Ooohh, William, I wish I could help out here. I can get you on the waiting list, but our show is sold out until 2014 (1 year longer than "Oprah"). Sometimes I'll see tickets to the show pop up on craigslist, but they usually go pretty fast.


How do I get a recording of the Cubs Fight Song, "GO CUBS GO"
- J. Kuebel, Sparta

Does it matter who's singing it? I would be more than happy to corral Paul Konrad for a duet on our Morning Show Blog. He's an alto and I'm a tenor- our harmonies are usually breathtaking. Just let us know.

May 16, 2008

Monday on WGN's Morning News...

For today's promo, Paul gives us a tour of the "east wing" of the weather center. Get an insider's look at what Tom Skilling keeps on his desk! Plus, hear all about what's coming up on Monday's show..so check it out.

The "Calm" before the storm

I don't have any concrete evidence to back this up, but I believe Ricky Williams is the only man in history to quit the NFL so he could smoke marijuana full-time. I'm not judging- he obviosuly found an activity he enjoyed more than playing football. We should all be so passionate about something in our lives, though I would suggest something legal.

Ricky is a former Texas Longhorn, much like Cedric Benson, and the two are friendly. Apparently, they're so friendly that WIlliams nearly accompanied Benson on his boat trip the night he was pepper sprayed and waterboarded. He declined Benson's invitation, and now he's wondering what might have been . . .

Also, earlier in the week I told you about my new blog segment: "Mailing it in." This is where I will answer viewers' questions. I presumed most of the questions would be about sports. Instead, most of them have been about my makeup, doing someone else's homework assignment, and me considering a second career as a drag queen. I will be answering some of these questions Monday right here on the blog. There's still time to submit questions. Click below to do so. Check back Monday after the show for our first installment of . . .
Mailing It In.

Surfin' the Net - Jozin-Z-Bazin

Rating - 3 stars
www.myeasytv.com

May 15, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

WGN was honored to have Mr. Phil Donahue back in it's studios! So today, Pat & Paul do the promo on our mock Donahue set for a bit of inspiration. See Phil...AND get all the goods on tomorrow's show, right here in this web promo EXCLUSIVE.


Surfin' the Net - Donahue Music Tribute

Rating - 4 stars
www.youtube.com

May 14, 2008

Paul's video blog with a naked surprise!

Paul sings a little song for you in this blog. Someone also makes a "naked" cameo...check it out to find out who!

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

BIG show in store tomorrow....Phil Donahue comes back to WGN! In today's promo, Pat gives you a sneak peak to our mock Donahue set. Tune in and join Phil as he takes a stroll down memory lane and talks about his new film..."Body of War." You can't miss it!

Where everybody knows your name . . .

Since Mike D'Antoni spurned the Bulls for the Knicks, the field of candidates has expanded considerably. It now includes former Mavs coach Avery Johnson, Pistons assistant Michael Curry, DePaul's assistant athletic trainer, the guy across the street who coaches Lane Tech, and my neighbor who's teaching his 7-year old son how to bounce pass . . . among others.

I don't know how Knicks President Donnie Walsh convinced D'Antoni to lead that bunch of misfits. The Bulls roster is obviously imcomplete and unbalanced, but in terms of comparing shipwrecks- the Bulls are the S.S. Minnow; the Knicks are the freakin' Titanic!

And from reading all the interviews with Jerry Reinsdorf and John Paxson, I'm pretty sure they even know how to say D'Antoni's name, which is more than I can say for Walsh . . .


Surfin' the Net - Island for Sale

Rating - 2 stars
www.thelocal.se

May 13, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Pat & Paul join Larry & Robin on the news set for what may be the shortest promo in WGN promo history! Today we deal with a major time crunch...so tune in and see what did...and didn't, go down.

Surfin' the Net - O'Reilly Rant

Rating - 4 stars
www.huffingtonpost.com

May 12, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Safety comes first here at WGN...so Pat & Paul give us a tour of our "medical center." See how prepared these guys are if a medical emergency ever occurs! Also, BIG things planned for tomorrow's show...including Dolly Parton! You won't wanna miss it...so check it out below.

Surfin' the Net - Frank Sinatra Message

Rating - 4 stars
www.americancomedynetwork.com

May 9, 2008

Mother's Day (a real holiday)

I never thought I'd be this excited about my first Mother's Day. I always tried to make it special for my Mom, but kind of thought it was a made up holiday. While in college, my husband told his mother it was a fake Holiday invented by Hallmark and she came very close to killing him. Today, I can safely say I totally understand her.

After seven months of constant learning, taking two steps forward and four steps back and realizing that there is a part of me sleeping in a crib, I think mothers need to be celebrated. I know, mothers should be celebrated everyday. Some even think they should get paid. But I think we deserve that one day in which the world stops to honor us.

Just like many of you, it was my choice to bring my daughter into this world. It was a selfish act. But from the moment she was born, there has been no room for selfishness. I constantly worry about her well being and do all I can to guarantee her happiness. She deserves nothing less.

I've been riddled with doubts for the last seven months. Is she eating too much?
Is she sleeping enough? Should I let her cry to sleep? Should I rock her to sleep? Should I give her apples or oranges? Is she happy? Will she hate me at 15?

Today I received an email from my sister in law that made me feel so much better. It basically said there is no such thing as the perfect mother, but that we should all be admired since we do the best we can and we do it all out of love.

I thought I would share it with all the mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day!

This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms,
wiping up barf laced with Oscar Mayer wieners and cherry Kool-Aid saying,
'It's okay honey, Mommy's here.

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing
crying babies who can't be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in
their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes.
And all the mothers who DON'T.

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see.
And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football
or baseball games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, 'Did you see me, Mom?' they could say,
'Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world,' and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and
swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream
before dinner. And for all the mothers who count to ten instead, but realize how child abuse happens.

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies.
And for all the (grand)mothers who wanted to, but just couldn't find the words.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read 'Goodnight, Moon' twice a night for a year. And then read it again, 'Just one more time.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school.
And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls 'Mom?' in a crowd,
even though they know their own offspring are at home -- or even away at college -- or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE
once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers who bite their lips until they bleed when their 14 year olds dye their hair green.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers
of those who did the shooting. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers
who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.


What makes a good mother anyway?
Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?
The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner,
and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart Is it the ache she feels when
she watches her son or daughter disappear down the street,
walking to school alone for the very first time?
The jolt that takes her from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M.
to put her hand on the back of a sleeping baby?
The panic, years later, that comes again at 2 A.M.
when she just wants to hear their key in the door and
know they are safe again in her home?

Or the need to flee from wherever she is and hug her child
when she hears news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for
young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation...
And for mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.
Single mothers and married mothers.
Mothers with money, mothers without.
This is for you all. For all of us...

Hang in there.
In the end we can only do the best we can.
Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mother...

OVERHEARD

General Manager Tom Ehlmann was sitting in his office with another well-manicured TV executive, when he suddenly heard an argument coming through his office wall:

“I WANT’EM DEAD. I WANT THEIR FAMILY DEAD! I WANT THEIR CHILDREN DEAD!”

“What the hell is that?” Tom wondered.

The noise continued.

“I think I might have an employee issue,” Tom said.

He rushed out of his office and opened the door of the office next door, and there stood three clowns, staring at him.

Want to see the rest of the story?
Click here:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=u05mbi5Dgxc


Monday on WGN's Morning News...

Today's promo is HUGE...and that's because Pat & Paul are graced with special guest star, Richard Simmons! You can only imagine what the 3 of these guys stir up...including some "cozy time." So make sure you tune in to the video below and check it out for yourself.

Surfin' the Net - Richard Simmons Outtakes

Rating - 4 stars
www.youtube.com

May 8, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Pat & Paul take us back to the break room...where there's a surprise waiting! Find out what it is. Come to think of it, this promo is full of surprises....ladies, you'll want to stick around until the end of this promo for a special "surprise."

Surfin' the Net - Top Celeb Mulletts

Rating - 3 stars
www.asylum.com

May 7, 2008

The Paul & Larry Show!

Paul invites Larry to accompany him in this web blog! Tune in to find out WHO the topic of their discussion was...

Surfin' the Net - I have a bad case of...

Rating - 1 star
www.snotr.com

For Those of You Who Are Interested......

Here's an update on my now 7 month old son, Max.
(as you can tell, I have nothing else to talk about today)

Let's see....
Max is crawling.(started at 6 months)
He's 17.3 pounds.
He's eating stage 2 Gerber foods, finger foods, and has had his first McDonald's french fry!
Not sure if he liked it.
The boy is even pulling up and trying to stand up.
He's bumped his head at least 2 dozen times already.
Doesn't seem to bother him....ALL BOY!!!
Yes, big sister, Zoe, still like him.
Thank goodness.
And finally....

TWO KIDS ARE REALLY WEARING ME OUT......

Your Pooped Traffic Gal,

Val

May 6, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Larry joins Pat & Paul today for some promo fun! The guys give us a look and quick background on some of the spiffy artwork found in the studio...along with what's coming up on tomorrow's show. You'll want to see this, so watch the video below!

Surfin' the Net - Talented Goldfish

Rating - 3 stars
www.R2fishschool.com

May 5, 2008

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Pat & Paul try something new for this promo...they take you where the web camera has never gone before...through a CAR WASH! They also let you in on the secret's of tomorrow's Morning Show. Check it out in the web promo EXCLUSIVE.

Clownfellas

So...I finally get to make my clown post.

For something that ran about sixty seconds, there was 4 or 5 hours of shooting involved. Alot of "clowning around" if you will.

The challenges involve lighting, locating and charging seltzer bottles. A shop vise works well for this, as long as nothing goes wrong. Also making up pies. Stagehand Steve has years of Bozo experience in this regard.

The outtakes are probably too blue to run, but they were funny. Matt had a great concept and it all worked out well.

The work environment here is unique. It's not Dean Richards starting a conversation with me "So do you have my enema bag?" it's the fact that the other people standing around didn't blink at this statement.

Duplicating sweat is quite a challenge.

I remain,

Stagehand Dave


Surfin' the Net - Nick Pitera

Rating - 4 stars
www.sendspace.com

May 2, 2008

Monday on WGN's Morning News...

Today's promo is a must watch! Paul takes you into his "secret world" that no one knows about...not even Larry! Check out the video below to find out...and to also get all the goods on Monday's show.

FRIDAY DANCE

As reported earlier, stations across the country have stolen our Friday Dance segment (even though we’ve been doing it for 10 years.) Now it’s getting out of hand. Today, Fox32 is doing a Friday Dance. Recently, WMAQ added a live version, joining the trend across the country. All of these versions are incredibly lame, because they have no funny clips to use in their segments. They’re doing the typical stories about carjackings, and interviews about osteoperosis.

It’s flattering that our competitors watch us to see what they should be doing. But, if you want to see the real thing, tune to the old number 9 Monday through Friday 5-9am. As long as they’re spying on us, I hope they don’t steal our ideas for May:

-The state budget director’s analysis of office supplies expenditures

-Julian Crews’ Fast-Food Run to Kankakee

-Bunyons: Deadly Killer?


Surfin' the Net - 80's Trivia

Rating - 3 stars
www.candystand.com

May 1, 2008

My senior moment

I seem to have reached the age where I often think about my mortality. Not only that, but where will I be in 20 years? 40 years? What will I be doing? Am I going to be happy? Will I be 100 pounds heavier? Will my lady?!?!

It's all been very traumatic.

If I had to guess, I'd say 50 years from now I will have finally saved enough money to retire. Of course, I'd probably only live out about 5 years of that retirement. So in that time, I think I'll be doing all the stuff I missed out on while working this shift, like- watch prime time programming, eat dinner after 4:00 P.M., and go to sleep when it's dark out.

Then again, maybe I'll have an entirely different lifestyle to look forward to.



It's not easy working with amateur thespians. Here is a behind the scenes look at our shoot. Naturally, Tom "Freaking" Skilling tries to steal the show.

If you ever have the desire to look like I will in 50 years, the fine people at Fantasy Costumes will help you achieve it. Visit them at . .
http://www.fantasycostumes.com

And how about that scooter I was driving! 0 - 6 MPH in 1.6 seconds! In 50 years I'll be buying mine from Home Care Plus, Inc.
http://www.homecareplusinc.com/

As for the decorative storage case that Larry, Robin and Paul will be living in 50 years from now? That will be provided by the fine folks at Benson Funeral Home. You can visit them (hopefully not for many, many years) at:

3224 W. Montrose Ave
Chicago, 60618

Tomorrow on WGN's Morning News...

Almost everyone from the Morning crew makes a cameo in this promo...so you know this has to be a good one! Pat, Ana & Val bring you all the information you need on tomorrow's show...including a brand spankin' new FRIDAY DANCE! Check out the web EXCLUSIVE below to find out more.

The Daly Chronicles

I got the chance to interview pro golfer John Daly a few years back when I worked in Buffalo. Never before, or since, have I met a sports figure so willing to discuss ANYTHING. From his problems with substance abuse in the past, to his wiveS, to his physique, to the advantages and disadvantages of gasoline vs diesel fuel, there was no question he would not answer.
john-daly-golfer.jpg
We spent about a half hour together, and not once did I sense the slightest bit of discomfort from the man, with the questions I was asking, or . . say . . . from simply meeting someone for the first time. Perhaps the dozen cigarettes he smoked, or the 4 Diet Cokes he drank, settled his nerves. I should probably note that we met in the Presidential Suite of a brand-new hotel overlooking Niagara Falls.

I imagine smoking was probably not encouraged.

I'm sure he would have put away the smokes if asked, but it probably didn't even occur to him. He seems to be one of those people who possesses zero self-awareness. And when I say zero, I mean ZERO. I think people like that come along once every 7,000 years.

As you will see from this video, I don't think John Daly hasn't changed much since we met 4 years ago.






Surfin' the Net - Johansson Music Video

Rating - 1 star
www,blogs.independent.co.uk

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