Watch the TV Guy Freeze
(La Grange, IL December 15th) - Hope you're watching today as my lips freeze together on LIVE television. That's right, my good friends. It's time (again) for the ever-popular "watch the TV guy freeze to death" segment.
I know you're rolling your eyes, watching this sort of thing. It's really tiresome, isn't it? Almost as bad as watching the crazy news correspondent getting his haripiece blown off in a hurricane.
Here on the frozen tundra of La Grange, Illinois, you can't help but feel like a human lab rat - standing in front of the camera - soaking up the vibes of a 30-below wind-chill.
I know people are watching and saying, "look at that idiot TV guy standing there telling us it's cold. How dumb can you get!?"
But for the record, I've got nothing to do with this (at least the decision to send me out here).
If it was up to me, I'd be LIVE from the living room saying, "you don't need me to tell you how cold it is. Let's drink some hot chocolate and stay warm." Of course, they're not going to pay me to sit in my pajamas drinking cocoa. So here I am with my 47 layers of Long-Johns ... just trying to stay alive.
In the famous words of Dolly Parton, "I'm taking what they're giving 'cause I'm working for a living." Or was that Huey Lewis and the News? I can't remember because my cerebral cortex feels like a block of ice.