Chan Lowe: The silver lining to the end of the world
If you look hard enough, you can find an upside to almost anything, even the End of Days.
If Harold Camping and his disciples are right, and Rapture arrives tomorrow afternoon, then those of us sure to be left behind won’t have to put up with those irritating holier-than-thou types anymore. We can spend the three-hundred-odd days left to us reading Darwin’s Origin of Species and doing some good honest sinnin’ without the self-righteous legislating morality into our lives through their minions in the Republican Party.
We’ll be able to do what we want with whomever we want in our own bedrooms and marry anybody we want, regardless of the other person’s gender. Women will have unfettered access to abortions, if they find them necessary, without the morality police prying into their personal lives.
Schoolchildren in Kansas and other states will no longer be forced to listen to fairy tales in biology class. Sex education classes will be readily available to teenagers, which will severely cut down on unwanted pregnancies. Qurans won’t be burned or shredded.
We’ll be able to run through the entire dial on our car radios, and the complete gamut of cable channels on our TVs, without encountering a single evangelist attempting to convince us to send him money.
Since those of us remaining after the Rapture will be beyond redemption, there will be no purpose for organized religion. Man will⎯for that last blessed year⎯live in harmony with his brethren, free from the compulsion to either impose his particular brand of communicating with God upon his neighbors, or to kill them trying.
Yes, there’s definitely a silver lining to be found here. I’m actually looking forward to it. Bring it on, I say.
CHAN LOWE has been the Sun Sentinel’s first and only editorial cartoonist for the past twenty-six years. Before that, he worked as cartoonist and writer for the Oklahoma City Times and the Shawnee (OK) News-Star.
Comments
Chan- As a long standing member of a "Non-Prophet Organization", I'm looking forward to this End of the World Rapture...Bring it on........
Posted by: Lorraine Wagner | May 20, 2011 5:39 PM
You folks are behind the time! Didn't you know the end of the world already arrived on Feb 6, 1911? We've just been running on momentum since then...
Posted by: Tom | May 20, 2011 7:45 PM
I'm hoping for the best...I really covet my neighbor's home. It has a pool!
Posted by: fumbducks | May 21, 2011 6:10 AM
Well---I'm posting this at 6:00 p.m......P.T. Barnum is slapping his knee & giggling..... On the news-Some guy offered a post-rapture animal care service (no money back in case of rapture failure) He got $ 35,000 dollars in contracts. When the next "end of the times" comes around, that's what I'm doing......
I guess on Sunday when the # Rapture People feel upset, we can't console them by saying, "Cheer up, it's not the end of the world".....
All I know,is that they'd have to put a lot of "booze" in that Jim Jones Kool-Aid before I'd drink it......
Posted by: Lorraine Wagner | May 21, 2011 6:13 PM
Amen!
Posted by: Kristi | May 22, 2011 8:06 PM
Sad that you think that way. The Rapture will happen we just don't know when. Sorry you met christians who thought they were better than you. Thats not Jesus. You cant look at a christian or anyone, the Pope or minister, and compare them with Jesus. He is perfect and we are all sinners. Get to know Jesus and you will find the truth.
Posted by: Going home soon | May 23, 2011 9:54 AM