Rick Perry’s descent in Republican popularity polls has been nothing short of breathtaking. It’s as though the far right, in its zeal to embrace anyone who had a chance of unseating the hated Pretender in the White House, woke up the morning after a heavy date with a supermodel and saw her for the first time without any makeup.
Not only has he shown himself to be so remarkably inept on his feet that he makes George W. Bush look like William Jennings Bryan, Perry has committed the unpardonable sin of being morally suspect on some issues that are sacred to his rapidly eroding base.
How can somebody call himself a Christian conservative, as Perry does, if he performs a reasonable and generous act like allowing the children of undocumented aliens (who live in the state through no fault of their own) to attend Texas universities and pay resident tuition fees? Where in the Bible did Jesus say, “Blessed are the illegal immigrants, for they, too, are the children of God?” Don’t bother to look it up. You can’t find it, ’cause it ain’t in there.
And how about abominations like trying to protect the health of girls by mandating vaccinations to prevent them from catching HPV? Now, shots for polio, measles and the like are one thing, but he should have known that the best defense against cervical cancer and other types of filthiness is for a young lady to keep her knees clenched firmly together. He may have repented for that little faux pas, but that doesn’t mean conservatives are going to forgive him and let it drop. They smell potential victory in 2012, and are not into forgiveness.
Instead, they've decided to send Mr. All-Hat-No-Cattle a little message in the form of a whuppin’ in the Florida Straw Poll by a man whose chances of winning are even more remote than Perry’s, but who knows how to check the right boxes—that person being Herman Cain.
And, since Cain has no experience whatsoever in government, he has a pristine, sin-free record. That's the best of all possible qualifications for heading a vast, complex bureaucracy encompassing many stakeholders... just ask Florida Governor Rick Scott.