By Mark La Monica
I’m told Alex Rodriguez hit a three-run homer in the first inning on Saturday afternoon. The front page of Sunday sports section said so, as did the box score, the highlights on TV and the game stories in the paper.
I wouldn’t know, although I was five rows behind the plate as a paying customer along with Consultant friend Jay. Once I heard the crack of the bat and jumped up to watch the ball, I 
spotted Vanessa Minnillo sitting 12 feet to my left. I remember very little about the game after that. Allegedly, the Yankees won, 4-3.
Minnillo, an MTV VJ and host on the music station’s show “TRL,” a former Miss Teen USA and, of course, lady friend of shortstop of Derek Jeter is roughly seven times as ridiculously beautiful in person than on television.
But in between my prolonged bouts of polite staring at her, I noticed another bonus of sitting in the $115- top-deck-of-Titanic championship seats.
Two seats to the left of Minnillo was The King. No, not Elvis, Don, or Jerry Lawler. We’re talking about Jimmy “The King” Leyritz.
You may recall Leyritz as a former Yankee catcher. You, however, should recall Leyritz as the man who brought the Yankees back from despair in the 1996 World Series with a three-run homer to tie Game 4 in Atlanta.
As I wrote the day of the 2006 Yankees’ home opener: “It's virtually impossible to see Jimmy ‘The King’ Leyritz and not hear the clanking of metal his home run in Game 4 in Atlanta created 10 years ago.”
That’s as true today as it was then.
Upon the celebrity sightings brought about by A-Rod’s home run, the thoughts in my head went in this order:
- Dude, Jimmy, get out of my line of sight of Vanessa Minnillo.
- What’s Jeter got that I don’t have?
- I’m glad these seats were available at the ticket window today.
- I wonder if I can download the sound of Leyritz’s home run as a ringtone.
- Leyritz looks like he should be from Long Island.
- Nicky Eyes No. 9!
Leyritz worked the primo seating, chatting up Minnillo, Ron Darling and a few other not-as-recognizable people. He even signed some autographs for the regular people.
I couldn’t let the opportunity pass to add on to the Nicky Eyes Hit List, so I had to keep an eye on his whereabouts, an eye on Minnillo, an eye on the game and an ear on the crazy guy next to me who proudly ordered a non-alcoholic beer.
(For those not familiar with the Nicky Eyes Hit List, read the explainer.)
Leyritz got up in the seventh inning and began walking toward the exit. Here was my chance. I stood up. “Hey, Jimmy Leyritz!” I screamed. He looked in my direction. “What’s up, guy?!?”
He gave the head nod and low wave, acknowledging the fact that a) he heard me; b) he had no idea he just made the NEHL; and c) he appreciated still being appreciated by Yankee fans.
A few minutes later, here comes Leyritz back to his seat. Lookee here, bonus time!
Leyritz got up in the ninth inning and began walking toward the exit. Again, I stood up. “Hey, Jimmy Leyritz!” I screamed again. He looked in my direction again. “What’s up, guy?!?”
Minnillo left a few minutes after Leyritz, but my corneas were already burned out from staring at her for nine innings. Why couldn’t Farnsworth give up one more run and force extra innings?