This football, lies and videotape* scandal with the Patriots and Bill Belichick continues to develop. As such, we're dusting off an ancient Keyboard Quarterbacks ritual and applying one sport's ridiculousness to other sports.
It appears royally absurd that a three-time Super Bowl champion coach, recognized as the greatest coach of his era, would be part of this equation: sideline + video recording device + aimed at other team's sideline + wide open for anyone to see + most media-saturated professional sport + most media-saturated city = Caught in the act!
In honor of Billy KGB, here are other ways of cheating that we'd like to see sports people get caught for doing, if for no other reason than it would be really funny to hear and write headlines for:
• BASEBALL: In the sixth inning during warmups, Manny Ramirez sneaks over to the Yankees' bullpen door in left-centerfield at Yankee Stadium and krazy glues it shut so Joba Chamberlain and Mariano Rivera can't get out.
• BASKETBALL: Isiah Thomas installs mini-GPS chips on the magnetic pieces of Gregg Popovich's play diagramming whiteboard so the Knicks can easily defend the Spurs in the last two minutes.
• BOXING: While one corner is shouting instructions to their fighter, a subversive element from the other corner sneaks over and cuts four inches off one of the legs of that fighter's chair, forcing him to sit in an awkward and uncomfortable position in between rounds.
• COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Before the Notre Dame game, Michigan head coach Lloyd Carr brings back DT Alan Branch, CB Leon Hall, DE LaMarr Woodley, LBs David Harris and Prescott Burgess, puts them in current players' jerseys and gives them the dark helmet visors so no one can tell who they are on the field.
• GOLF: Phil Mickelson's caddy, Jim "Bones" Mackay, replaces Tiger Woods' course notebook with a fake notebook that includes the wrong distances and layouts.
• HOCKEY: The equipment manager for the Los Angeles Kings equips his team's sweaters and helmets with squibs and "blood packs" from a nearby Hollywood studio to trick the referee's into calling more penalties on the other team.
• NASCAR: A renegade in Tony Stewart's pit crew sneaks over to Dale Earnhardt's pit and fills his reserve gas tanks with water instead of fuel.
• TENNIS: At the Australian Open in January, Andy Roddick commissions someone to hypnotize Roger Federer into believing that August and September don't exist in 2008, thereby evening the playing field for everyone at the U.S. Open.
Comments (1)
ummmm........where is the fun? Is this another lame attempt at humor?