Keyboard Quarterbacks

By Mark La Monica

On the scene for ESPN College Gameday In Kentucky last month, I formed an opinion: No one controls the masses like Lee Corso.

With the simple wave of a hand and the donning of a school mascot's headgear, Corso is the pied piper of sports. If he made a run at the presidency in 2008, he'd be the most compelling figure in the race.

This past Monday night, that opinion underwent some serious radical reformation. The true pied piper of sports? The dude or dudette willing to part with free T-shirts at sporting events. It's empowerment unlike any other. Like Tony Montana said in "Scarface," first you get the T-shirts, then you get the power.

While filming the Dec. 6 episode of ExploreTV, my weekly Web show about places to go and things to do on Long Island, at Nassau Coliseum, I wielded that power. That ability to control the minds of the masses. That rare skill to get normal people to do whatever you want them to do, simply by holding a T-shirt in my hand and offering to launch it in their general direction.

Dear Islanders,

In light of the recent revelations by Garth Snow that the Coliseum is so bad that many of the league’s best players do not want to come there, I was wondering if you will be offering discounted ticket packages this year?

I was so excited when you decided to buy out Yashin’s contract that I renewed the ticket package I share with some friends. We even agreed that this is the season we’d move down a section. Now it seems as if there will not be much to see.

Plus, if players don’t want to go there, imagine how the fans feel. At least the players get star treatment. I’m still waiting for the spackle hanging off the ceiling in 307 to be fixed.

I would suggest that this year, when marketing the team, you highlight who is coming to town. “Come see Daniel Briere battle tonight at the Nassau Coliseum. Oh, and the Islanders will be there too.”

Far be it from me to knock the Coliseum. It is all I’ve ever known as a hockey fan and I have some great memories from there, but if that is the only reason players won’t come I guess it has to go.

It has to be the only reason, right? Garth said he “knows the league,” so that can’t be it. I’m just amazed at how many other teams don’t know the league. Colorado, Philadelphia, St. Louis and the Rangers must not have any idea what they are doing. Who signs free agents these days anyway?

Anyway, good luck with the rest of the off-season. Let me know if there will be a discount. I’ll still be there when the puck drops. Hopefully the roof won’t cave in on us.

Best,
Formerly of Section 307

By Jonathan McCarthy
So it comes down to this. There may be just 60 minutes left in the Islanders season. What are they going to do with it?

Are they going to sit around and lament the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve from last nights game. Are they going to let a bad call (which it was) be the one thing we are left to remember from this wild run?

I hope not. Truth is, Buffalo is a good hockey team. They are fast, skilled and play with a precision that the Islanders just haven’t shown.

The Islanders on the other hand, they have heart and pride. Hopefully they have enough for one more win. They can’t win the whole series in Buffalo on Friday, so let’s hope they focus on the game at hand. They will need to be perfect. That means no sloppy rebounds from DP, no bad stick checks by Witt and hopefully something from the vaunted Yashin, Satan and Kozlov line.

In the off season, whether it comes sooner or later, they will need to address one thing, Identity.
Are they going to be a tough and tumble team (think Witt, Sillinger, Hunter, Smyth) or a finesse team (think Yashin, Blake, Kozlov, Satan). Historically tough and tumble works here on the Island.

P.S. – Wouldn’t it be nice to land Drury for next season?

By Jonathan McCarthy

Being a ref is a thankless job. There is no denying it. Here are people who strive to not be noticed. The reason is, if you’re noticed you probably did a bad job. The best compliment a ref can get is for “letting them play.” Which essentially means they didn’t do anything. Good or bad.

What you saw last night was refs getting noticed. They were involved in every Sabre goal. First was the non-call on Trent Hunter getting crosschecked that led to Mair’s goal. Then the disputed wrap-around by Vanek. And finally, the ridiculous six minutes of penalties doled out to Bergeron and Poti that led to the Sabres’ final goal.

That brings us to the bad call on Zednik and they unfathomable call on Robitaille in the last 94 seconds. That was the last straw for the fans, who promptly peppered the ice with debris.

And this is where I will disagree with my friend Mike Casey’s post below. Now, I’m not going to argue that fans should throw things on the ice or at refs or at the Sabres, but their reaction last night was justified.

Fans pay to see the game decided on the ice by the players. I don’t think anyone would argue that is what happened tonight. There is a reason they only sell plastic bottles these days.

If this game was in Philly or Pittsburgh and that happened the arena would be on fire.

NHL refs are graded after each round of the playoffs. I will guarantee that the team of Dennis LaRue, Kevin Pollock, Brad Lazarowich and Derek Nansen don’t advance. They may be the reason the Islanders don’t advance either.

That being said, there is no excuse for being outshot 17-2 in the third period of a one-goal game in your building, which is what happened last night. Nolan practically played one line in the third period (Symth, Sillinger and Hunter). That’s not going to cut it against a team that has Buffalo’s speed.

Some other observations:

What happened to Jason Blake? Maybe it is that playing against the speed of the Sabres' he looks average, but the jump hasn’t been there this series.

Everyone who spent money on anything with Yashin’s name or number should get a refund. As a fan in section 307 pointed out last night “every time he gets hit money falls out.”

Oh where, oh where has Richard Park gone? We need some grit and while Zednik has the experience, he has hardly made a difference

The coliseum atmosphere is as good as any arena when it comes to big time events.

DP is back. Now if they can only find a second line on offense.

Dear Drunken Islanders Fans:

If you want to know why many regard your organization as “second-class” in the NHL, look no further than your actions on Monday night.

You and the other “paying customers” who pelted the ice with beer bottles at the end of Monday night’s loss to Buffalo in Game 3 should be rounded up and barred from the Nassau Coliseum permanently.

Regardless of what you think of the result, the officiating, or your own sorry state in life, what you did extracted another ounce of class from a franchise you would claim to support – a franchise that has seen its respect level plummet at an alarming rate since the early 1990s.

Maybe you don’t realize this: When you purchase tickets to a sporting event, you pay for the right to cheer, to yell and scream, and to boo. But you don’t purchase the right to ruin that sporting event by destroying the very surface on which it is played. Throwing beer onto the ice is just as stupid, childish, and Neanderthal as beating up opposing fans in the stands.

Grow up. If you want respect, act in a respectful manner.

Now try not to try to get home without killing anyone on the Meadowbrook Parkway, moron.

By Jonathan McCarthy

Growing up as a hockey goalie I learned to be superstitious. I studied the way Patrick Roy talked to the posts. I learned to put my equipment on the same way every day. I never let my sticks lay across each other and I always said the same thing as my teammates lined up to hit my pads before each game. “Stay strong.”

While being superstitious is not unique to hockey (every see a pitcher step on the baseline?) it is widely accepted that someone who decides to lace up skates has something unique going on inside their head. Watch how none of the Islanders or Rangers will shave as long as they are in the playoffs.

So after the Islanders won four-straight games to make the playoffs I looked back at what was similar about each win. A while you can point out the heroics from Dube and Richard Park or the toughness of Ryan Smyth, the one thing I came back to was my Satan 81 t-shirt.

I was wearing it under my jersey at the Coliseum that Tuesday against the Rangers. I had it on Thursday as I watched the Maple Leafs game. I wore it Saturday as they played the Flyers and as I listened to the Canadiens game. Finally, I had it on under my Easter clothes.

My wife, who knows I am crazy, washed it for me every other day. She did marry a goalie after all. The problem was I didn’t wear it on Thursday when they were in Buffalo. I don’t have a good reason for that. I actually was supposed to be at a Mets game, ended up working late and by the time I got home the game had already started.

No excuse. While I know there is no chance that what I wear has an impact on the game, I think it does. I had it on last night and look what happened.

Needless to say, I will have it on Monday at the game. Now, if only I could find something to help the Thrashers too.

By Jonathan McCarthy

Maybe we are all Islanders. That can be the only explanation of how this team overcame the loss of their franchise goaltender and most of their defense and still made the playoffs.

Since last Tuesday’s victory over the Rangers, which was overshadowed by Ice Girl-gate, the Islanders did everything right. From the second that Wade Dubielewicz stopped Jaromir Jagr in the shootout you had to believe there was a chance. But that alone wouldn’t be enough. Here is a look at all that went right from that point on:

Isles crush Toronto – The 5-2 victory on Thursday, powered by three third-period goals left the Leafs with a bad taste in their mouth. It also cost Toronto two very valuable points.

Rangers top Montreal – For the first time in my life, I was actually happy the Rangers won a game.

Isles beat Philly – It wasn’t as close as the score looked, but they did their part.

Leafs fight back against Montreal – As I sat huddled around my laptop listening to the game on NHL radio I seethed as Andrew Raycroft did his best impersonation of a cardboard Shooter Tutor. I found myself screaming for Jean-Sebastien Aubin, missing Bryan McCabe and forever indebted to some guy named Kyle Wellwood.

Which brings us to Easter Sunday. Gary Bettman had to have been really pleased with his league’s television deal as the Sabres battled Philly in a meaningless game on national TV, while a few hours later the last playoff berth came down to a battle between Scott Clemensen and Dubie. No one predicted that.

So as I sat at Easter dinner, with my Sunday best camouflaging my "Satan 81" tee, I thought they had a chance. Historically Easter has been good to the Islanders. And boy I was sure happy that Brodeur was resting. Clemmensen played a solid game, and fans in Toronto can’t say the Devils didn’t give it their all. However, in a shootout I’d rather face anyone but Brodeur.

So here we are. The play forever known as the ‘Dube lightsaber ‘ has the Isles shuffling off to Buffalo. For me, that means at least two more games in section 307, two more games for the Ice Girls and a chance at Cup number 5.

By Jonathan McCarthy

Over the course of the last decade Islanders fans, me included, have had to put up with a lot. There was the fisherman logo, the disco ball, the addition of a ‘Family Guy’ sound clip to goal celebrations, all Mike Milbury decisions, ownership carousels, the fact that Coliseum is falling down around us and of course the Ice Girls.

All these things distract from the fact that the team on the ice is not getting any better and that us, as fans, are being treated like minor leaguers.

Going to an Islander game is now more akin to going to see the Long Island Ducks. The days of Trottier and Nystrom are so far removed from the product on the ice (even though there are 5 minute homage’s to both player at every home game).

It used to be that you could go to the Coliseum and talk hockey. Fans knew the difference between offsides and icing. They appreciated a good open ice hit. The hip check was art. These days are all gone.

Not that those fans don't exist. You just can't hear them over the blabbering of TV timeout promotions.

During the first period at Tuesday’s game they actually showed a note on the scoreboard that the Islanders have clinched the season series against the Rangers, as if that matters to anyone. The only thing more laughable was the fact that they showed playoff ticket information. Not to mention that the crowd was at least 70% Ranger fans to begin with.

That brings me back to the Ice Girls. Do you think if the Islanders were as good as they were in the 80’s that there would be Ice Girls? Of course not. There are no ice girls in Montreal, Calgary, and Detroit. The difference between all those teams and the Islanders? They all have a better shot than the Islanders at making the playoffs this year.