Bronx & Beans

Okay, now that we've finished one month of baseball, is it too early to appraise the winners and losers of the Johan Santana winter sweepstakes?

Well, yes. In passing on Santana, the Red Sox and Yankees sided with youth, and, by definition, we'll have to wait a while to see if they made the right call... and it was the Mets who went for instant gratification when they landed the ace.

But this is Red Sox/Yankees. There is no tomorrow. They kept the kids because they thought the kids would deliver now. So how are they doing?

Last night seems like a good yardstick marker, since the two pitchers mentioned most often in Santana trade talks last winter -- the Sox' Jon Lester and the Yanks' Philp Hughes -- started. And for that matter, so did ace that got away...

Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached a new low. Or maybe a new high. Still hard to tell.

But after being sent a link to this relatively new Web site called Sexy Sox Girls, I no longer cringe and twitch at the sight of a Red Sox jersey.

It's sponsored by Fenway-Tix.com and combines things that many men enjoy: Sports, free tickets to sports and women in sports attire. The site may take a few minutes to load, though, since every Cliff Claven in New England is looking at it right now.

Of course, I'm betting on Sexy Sox Girls being New England's answer to the Emperor's Club. The only question is which Bostonian will become Luv Guv Eliot Spitzer. Francona? Theo? Timlin? Papi?

While you're thinking about it, check out the site. So far it's NSFW, but then again, I only looked at a few profiles.

After Moose lulled the Indians to sleep through the first five innings, the Yankees' bullpen spelled relief like a jug of TUMS.

Jonathan Alba...Abula...Abla...that righthander they got from the Nationals. Yeah him. He looked confident and pitched his way out of a one-out walk in the sixth.

I'm really proud of Kyle Farnsworth. Seriously. Our buddy Farnsie just realized "Hey, I throw 241 miles per hour, I should challenge hitters." He's looking like Ricky Vaughn against Jack Parkman at the end of Major League II. His slider is sharp and his fastball can just be ridiculous at times.

(Editor's note: To our loyal Bronx and Beans readers, I was looking for a good Parkman photo to throw in here for us, but no dice).

Yankees just made the score, 5-2. Going to the bottom of the eighth....looks like Joba.

9:59 p.m. UPDATE: Joba just struck out Casey Blake on a disgusting slider to end the eighth. I really couldn't throw a wet lopsided wiffleball like that. Wow.

10:12 p.m. UPDATE: Mo shuts the door. Eighth save of the year as the bullpen retires 10 straight batters for the 5-2 win. By the way...how many Indians' hitters have those "Just For Men" beards? Casey Blake HAS to have a deal with them.

Yanks headed home.

-- Fernandez

Get this: The Bronx received a DVD in the mail for review purposes today entitled "Red Sox Memories."

How they fit all the memories from 2004 and 2007 onto one DVD is beyond belief. We quickly dumped it off to Bean Dennehy who promises a review of this extravaganza later in the week.

What could the extras be on this DVD, an interview with Mike Torres? A Q&A with Nomar on how he feels being traded out of Boston and then watching his Red Sox win a pair of rings? The secret sauce on Curt's sock? Oh the drama.

I can't wait to see their championship timeline in an interactive graphic. Will it include a "No, records weren't lost during this 86-year span, there were just no plots to point on the graph" disclaimer?

I leave the country for a week (honeymoon in Costa Rica - muy bueno) and the S.S. Red Sox starts taking on water. Coincidence? Probably. Annoying? For sure. About to end? You bet.

The Sox lost their fifth in a row today - they were blanked by the Rays' James Shields. World Series MVP Mike Lowell and utility guys Sean Casey and Alex Cora are on the DL. Manny Delcarmen has been lit up like the Fourth of July (3 ER's, 1 IP and a loss in his last two outings). Mike Timlin looks like he's ready for Social Security checks. The rest of the team appears to have bird flu. David Ortiz entered today's game batting .177 and didn't play.

But have no fear, Sox fans - I'll be back on Thursday, and we'll start mounting some wins again. The Orioles' time in first place is destined to go the way of New Coke. And thankfully, the Yankees still bite.

--Whittle

First, Cheers went off the air.

Then, the Patriots go 18-0 and give up a touchdown in the final minute to lose Super Bowl XLII to the New York football Giants.

Next, the Boston Bruins forget how to play hockey and get embarrassed worse than Matt Serra at UFC 83 in Game 7 of the first round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs by the Montreal Canadiens.

If New Englanders displayed that type of skill against the British during the American Revolution, we'd still be hailing the Queen and get sent to the stockades for calling Prince Charles ugly.

It's just a matter of time before the Boston Celtics flame out of the Eastern Conference playoffs and don't win the NBA title like they should with KG, Ray Allen and Pierce on the same team.

Ah yes, some semblance of natural order is being restored to life. The Red Sox may indeed be the defending World Series champions, but it looks like some of that shine is coming off up there in Wannabe Title Town. At this pace, the only real competition for the Yankees this season is whoever wins the National League pennant (and those pesky Tampa Bay Rays).

- La Monica

With an off-day in Yankee Town, there are only two things to do today:

1) Debate the Joba Chamberlain starting vs. bullpen situation

2) Taunt Bostonians and this Mick Ronson fella about Game 7 of the Canadiens-Bruins series tonight.

I leave the country for three days and return to the following list of happenings in Yankee Town:

- Jorge Posada started at first base.
- Big Bank Hank is stumping for Joba to start.
- A-Rod pulls a quad and gets yanked from the game.
- Ian Kennedy and Phil Hughes stink it up.
- Yanks drop 2 of 3 to Baltimore -- Baltimore!

What the heck just happened? Do I need surrender my passport in order to restore stability to the strategic situation?

- La Monica

It should come as no surprise, really, that the new Boss would start melting down already, demanding that Joba Chamberlain, the Yankees best pitcher, change jobs, and already throwing around words like 'idiot' when describing his own administration.

"You don't have a guy with a 100-mile-per-hour fastball and keep him a setup guy," Hank Steinbrenner told the New York Times. "I want him as a starter and so does everyone else, including him, and that is what we are working toward and we need him there now."

No shock there. Early-season flip-outs were always the m.o. for Hank's dad whenever things weren't going well. And, as Wally Matthews points out, young studs Phil Hughes (0-3) and Ian Kennedy (0-2) aren't making anyone forget Johan Santana.

What is ironic this time, though, is that Hank would suggest that the Yankees weaken their bullpen at a time when the Red Sox are absolutely punishing opposing bullpens. Does he really want LaTroy Hawkins setting up for Rivera? Or how about that thug Kyle Farnsworth?

Joba's a scary pitcher. And I'm as curious as anyone to see how he does as a starter.
But, please, Hank. Keep pushing Brian Cashman and Joe Girardi on this one. In addition to making Girardi regret coming back to the Bronx, you'll be doing the Red Sox a huge favor.

And while you're at it, isn't it about time to make the trainer a scapegoat now that A-Rod is down with a strained quadriceps muscle (after Jeter and Posada were slowed by similar injuries)?

Just less than a year ago, it was Marty Miller who took the fall after injuries to Johnny Damon, Hideki Matsui and Mike Mussina. Miller, you might recall, was the director of performance enhancement (by the way, in hindsight, what a great job title! Nothing ironic about THAT for a an organization that brought us enhanced performances by guys like Roger Clemens and Chuck Knoblauch).

Should strength and conditioning coach Dana Cavalea or head trainer Gene Monahan be concerned? Mount Hank seems about ready to blow. Falls guys are needed. And there aren't any midges around.

--Dennehy

Surely, between a four-year education at Stanford and doing the crossword every day in the clubhouse, Mike Mussina would have learned to not throw 87-mph "fastballs" over the freakin' middle of the plate to men named Manny Ramirez.

Film study and lineup preparation with the coaches and catchers would also lend itself to the inevitable "You shouldn't do it on a 3-1 count in first at-bat, then on a 2-2 pitch in his next at-bat" conversation.

What the heck do they teach at Stanford?

There goes the chance to get Dennehy in a Jeter jersey. That would have been nice. Instead, it's just another day in the world of Yankee fans forced to hope for a too-old-to-pitch-against-good-lineups Mussina. I'd rather watch Evander Holyfield fight.

- La Monica

We sent two of our photogs up to the Stadium on Thursday night with a video camera and the task of chatting up some Sox and Yanks fans. Here's what they came back with.

What is it exactly that Mike Mussina doesn't get?

Five days after Manny made Moose and Joe Girardi look dumb for pitching to him in a clutch situation, the Yankees starter comes right back at Manny twice tonight. And twice made the Bronx crowd quiet...

Manny vs. Moose. Four at-bats. Four hits. Three home runs. Six runs batted in.

You don't expect him to walk the guy intentionally every time, but... Or maybe he should.

And I'm sure A-Rod will still get the MVP for piling up stats against the Rays.

-- Dennehy

Oh, sure, Yankees fans, you can have some fun at Mike Timlin's expense. After all, it's only been about six months since the man pitched lights out in a World Series-clinching game.






Veteran presence. Solid as a rock. Wears that cool fatigues shirt... And the man can dance!

The fact is, after a hideous game like last night's Yankee win, you could direct your mockery at any number of pitchers who seemed unable to retire any major league hitter. Or Chad Moeller.

Me, I'm inclined to go with this crazed man...

Julian Tavarez's line last night? 1.1 innings pitched, 3 hits, 4 runs, 2 walks, 1 humiliating botched double play that broke the game open.

There's a lot to like about Tavarez. He seems to care very much about his job. He routinely assists infielders by pointing out the appropriate base to throw the ball. And his eagerness to trade punches with batters who dare charge the mound is legendary.

I just don't want to see him on the mound in a tight game. Not against our top rival. Not in the fifth inning. Not after the offense has climbed out of a hole. And not long enough to face eight bloody batters, Tito!

Maybe I'm overreacting... I guess he didn't do that much worse than the guy who's supposed to be the Yankees ace.

--Dennehy

What if SNL hit record producer Bruce Dickinson was a Yankees fan? Well, it might go a little something like this:

"I gotta have Mike Timlin."

"I got a fever and the only prescription is Mike Timlin."

"I could have used a little more Mike Timlin."

Once again, Terry Francona brought in Mike Timlin to pitch against the Yankees.

His line on Wednesday night: 1 inning, 3 hits, 4 runs, 2 walks, 1 strikeout.

His '08 totals: 4 games, 2.1 innings, 8 hits, 7 runs, 2 bombs, 2 walks, 2 strikeouts.

His '08 totals against Yanks: 3 games, 1.1 innings, 8 hits, 7 runs, 2 bombs, 2 walks, 1 strikeout.

"Easy guys, Mike Timlin puts his uniform pants on just like the rest of you, one leg at a time, except when he puts his uniform pants on, he gives up hits."

"I'm telling you, fellas, you're gonna want that Timlin on the mound."

Games 4 and 5 of 18 are upon us in baseball's best rivalry.

Tonight it's Yankees' ace Chien-Ming Wang against Buch Clayholz (is that close enough?).

In the ideal Yankees Universe, the Yanks light up Holz Buchclay, and Wang's two-seam fastball dives its way to no-hit the Sawx. But it doesn't always work out that way.

So here is Fernandez and La Monica's Top 5 list (in no particular order) of things that need to happen for a Yankees sweep:

Get that Ortiz jersey back and bury it. It's the complete opposite of the "We gotta get it outta there" move in "Goodfellas," but it just might work. While that jersey was buried in the Kryptonite concrete of the new Yankee Stadium, Ortiz had about three more Major League hits than La Monica and I did this season -- Now, with a two-hit game the other day, it looks like he's starting to turn it around.

Don't let Mussina pitch to Manny. EVER. Mussina should just put up four fingers to the home-plate umpire ANY time Ramirez gets up. Even walk him during pre-game batting practice if the Yankees can work that out with the Red Sox.

Don't let Farnsworth pitch. I know he was surprisingly effective last night, but right now he shouldn't even be able to pitch an idea if it's against the Sox. We're pulling for you though, Farnsie. You keep protecting leads, we'll be your biggest defenders here on Bronx and Beans. By the way...you can throw Hawkins in there as well.

Johnny Damon needs to become a pest again. Grow a mustache. Let the hair go. Join a rock band. Anything. Just get him back to the hitter that made Yankees' fans cringe when he lead off an inning for the Sox. Right now he's like Rick Vaughn in Major League II.

Get Timlin to pitch. Now this one is a bit trickier. The Yankee batters are going to have to take more pitches than they already do and tire out the Sawx starters for this to happen. Maybe put as many righthanded hitters in the lineup as possible so that we don't see Okajima, and hope that it's too early to face Papelbon.

-- Fernandez and La Monica

Eye black or really bad mustache? You make the call!

There's a headline on Newsday.com's sports page that is so remarkably unbelievable, I had to quadruple check the information across four other Internet sites.

They all confirmed.

In the Internet news world, stories and headlines changed too often, so I took a screengrab of the site just in case you don't believe it. Check it out:

That's my Farnsie! He's ready for Papi, Manny, Peds, Tek and those other chowder heads. We knew it all along that Farnsie had it in him to get three outs on 10 pitches without serving up any bombs in between.

Guess that vendor at Yankee Stadium looks pretty silly now after she scoffed at me when I asked her during opening week if she had any Farnsworth T-shirts for sale!

OK, by now, you're screaming "You're a whimpy flip-flopper, just like everyone else in sports media."

Relax, I still think Farnsie is only slightly more effective out of the bullpen than you or me, and I'm sure within 48 hours, we'll be orchestrating the first-ever fan buyout of a player's contract. But, it's right to give props where props are due. And in this one case, I'll lead the "Farn-Z! Farn-Z!" chant around River Avenue if you want.

Yankees fans are already familiar with the work of Dr. Craig Morgan. (Don't remember the name? Well, see above.)

Which is why it was kind of funny when Morgan, the same man who made it possible for buddy Curt Schilling to break a million New York hearts that night in 2004, started speculating recently that the veteran pitcher might consider moving to the Bronx in 2009.

Suggesting that the Red Sox blew it by not allowing Schilling to have shoulder surgery before putting the veteran pitcher/Yankee killer on the 60-day DL, Morgan said maybe, just maybe, Schilling might be open to switching sides in the rivalry next year. "It's my opinion that he's (Schilling) angry enough that it's entirely conceivable, even though he's 40 years old, it's entirely conceivable that he will have the operation, rehab, and pitch for the Yankees next year," he said on ESPN radio.

How delicious! The man who once said there was nothing more enjoyable "than making 55,000 people from New York shut up" cheered by the same New York fans who were fickle enough to accept Clemens, Boggs and Damon?

The same guy who is so firmly inside the heads of Yankee fans that they started to find VINDICATION last year in this comical idea that his sock was actually covered in ketchup, suddenly mentoring young Kennedy, Hughes and Wang?

Except, of course, that Schilling says it's all garbage."Me wearing pinstripes, regardless of what point of the season or my career it would have been, is not an option," Schilling said on WEEI in Boston this morning. "It's not an option. Never has been an option."

Curt expounds more on the subject in his must-read blog, 38 Pitches.

Anyway, in the spirit of our once-and-future ace, and since our Bronx guys were such good sports when the Sox took last weekend's series, we're willing to float our own bet for the quickie series in the Bronx Wednesday and Thursday.

If the Yanks win both, I'll suck it up and throw on your Jeter jersey. But if the Sox win both, well, I see Heinz ketchup on your socks Friday morning. As a tribute to Curt.

The stains will come out in the wash. And if they don't, you can bury the soiled socks somewhere in the Bronx.

--Dennehy

That’s right, our Bronx guys made good on the bet they so smugly floated before the Red Sox-Yankees weekend series. And to the losers, go the lids.

Yup, that’s Bronx Fernandez, left, banned from certain Fenway-area eateries for his pro-Yankee aggression, sporting a blue Boston cap because the Red Sox took two out of three.

And, no, Bronx LaMonica isn’t trying to look like one of the kids. He’s trying to hide the fact that there’s a “B” on his cap.

You're good sports, guys. Here’s hoping we so you back in those caps in October.

And buck up, I know there are photos that are far more regrettable for Yankee fans.

Incidentally, while the Sox and Yankees went their separate ways after a weekend of tight games, their Monday games weren’t short on drama. The Yankees squandered a six run lead to Tampa Bay, (hey A-Rod and Damon – your teammates would have loved some of that punch over the weekend!) before a struggling Robinson Cano saved them with a game-winning home run.

And Big Papi started to emerge from his early-April freeze with a couple of hits, and Manny went DEEP again to give the Sox a ninth inning win in Cleveland.

A-Rod's first-inning home run off mediocre Rays pitcher Andy Sonnanstine was number 521 in his career, tying him with Red Sox great Ted Williams. We don’t like it -- Hey, A-Rod, how many wars interrupted YOUR career? -- but we can live with it.

Especially considering that Manny’s clutch ninth inning homer was number 493 in his career – pulling him into a tie with Yankee legend Lou Gehrig.

You can’t make this stuff up.

--Dennehy

How about that - the Sox have come back against the Tribe at the Jake. They were looking anemic against Jake Westbrook and the Indians bullpen when all of a sudden Joe Borowski went all Farnsworth. Lugo cracked a double, Crisp bunted him over, Peds sac flied him in. Then it was bloop-and-a-blast time, with Ortiz the blooper (two hits - slump over?) and Manny the blaster.

My wife-to-be, Sam, who absolutely loathes baseball, made an interesting comment about Manny's home run. The ball went into the crowd, off a fan's hand and down a stairwell. Imagine, Sam said, if some guy was carrying three $12 beers and got whacked with that home run ball?

To be more accurate, she referred to the stairwell as an "alcovey thing."

Papelbon is in the game and he's about to close it out. Loud out by Pronk and it's over!

Mad props to my former coworker Dennis Maffezzoli, Rays reporter at the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune, who no doubt covered the Yanks' lucky win down in Tampa Bay tonight.

--Whittle

Is Einhorn, Finkle and is Finkle, Einhorn?

Take a look at Bean Whittle...now take a look at Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon. I'm just saying.

I'm putting Whittle on the radar gun today. If he hits anything higher than 90, I think we have our answer. I think that's why when a Sawx game is on, I never see the guy around.

-- Fernandez

Do what everyone else in MLB is doing! Light up Mike Timlin. Only here, your screen will fill up with photos from this weekend's series instead of your team's scoreboard filling up with hits and runs.

On Friday, we posted the standings heading into the weekend and then promised to post them after the series.

Well, it's 2:19 p.m. and we're finally getting around to doing it, partially because we're mad the Yanks lost the series and partially because we had other work to deal with first. But here goes, Yanks in last place, not good. But at least the Yanks picked up a half-game on first-place juggernaut Baltimore.

In honor of statistician Chuck Waseleski, it's time for some telling statistics about how subpar the Yankees first 13 games have been.

Yeah, it's early, but it's never too early to bust out hard figures about the performance of the Yankees $209 million roster.

Factoids:
-The Yankees are OPSing an inconvenient .711 as a team. That means "on base plus slugging" (the Yanks are accomplishing neither).
-Jose Molina has the highest batting average on the team (.364) of all players with more than 13 at bats. He just got hurt and will likely be replaced by career .224 hitter Chad Moeller.
-One reason Molina has such a high average is schematic - pitchers are coming right at him (he has zero walks).
-Alex Rodriguez and Bobby Abreu have struck out 22 times in 96 at bats. That averages out to 272 strikeouts if the combine for as many at bats (1188) as they did in 2007.
-Robinson Cano is batting .111 against lefties.
-Kyle Farnsworth is allowing 2.053 walks and hits per innings pitched. It's a small sample size - 6.3 innings - but it's still bad.
-Ian Kennedy has totaled 5.3 innings in two starts. Righties are batting .333 and OPSing .899 against him. He's also walked six batters, although he's supposedly a control pitcher.
-The Yanks staff has allowed 105 hits, "good" for eighth in the American League.
-Don't let Brian Bruney's 0.00 ERA or horrendous new haircut fool you - he still stinks. Somebody needs to wake up George and tell him to get back on that "no long hair" rule. The guy has a career WHIP of 1.632, is a jobber, and stinks.
-Phil Hughes has managed to last only 11 innings in three starts. Despite lasting only 11 innings, he's allowed 24 walks and hits to go with 11 earned runs. Lefties are OPSing a Bondsian 1.121 against him.

Read 'em and weep, pinstripers.

--Whittle

I went to bed Sunday night believing the Yankees lost, 7-5, but knowing it was probably worse than that.

See, I have one simple rule in life: When Kyle Farnsworth enters the game, I turn off the television. It has made my life a much less stressful one. Apparently, I can look away at NASCAR crashes.

Turns out he only gave up one run on two hits in one inning, making his stint slightly more successful than that of Mike Timlin, Boston's answer to Farnsie.

As of 11:02 a.m. Monday, I still am in shock that no one has put Farnsie up for auction on eBay.

We here in Bronx & Beans are of the mindset that Yankee Stadium and all other AL ballparks (and those NL yards the Yanks will play in this season) should play Daddy Yankee's reggaeton hit "Gasolina" every time Farnsie enters the game. Why? Because Farnsie throws gas, he's expensive and everyone blows up when he comes in the game.

- La Monica

Okay, the first series of the season goes to the Red Sox, as the bullpen shuts the door on the rubber game, 8-5.

I know it's early, the weather was lousy all weekend and we never even saw Derek Jeter or the iron of the Yankees bullpen.

But as LaMonica said, each of these head-to-head games is important. The Sox bullpen didn't break even with Okajima and Papelbon unavailable tonight. And Alex Rodriguez didn't connect for career home run 521 this weekend, preventing him from tying Ted Williams on the all-time list at Fenway Park, which would have been annoying.

And I won't have to wear a Bombers hat.

LaMonica and Fernandez, if it makes you feel any better, you'll be wearing a cap that was worn with distinction by Italian brothers like Rico Petrocelli and Tony Conigliaro. So you have that going for you.

-- Dennehy

0-fer for A-Rod!

--Whittle

What the heck is Girardi doing?? He just emptied his bench and took the DH out of the game. Now Kyle Farnsworth is in the lineup in the leadoff spot (I've heard he runs like Willie Wilson).

I guess I understand using your bench to try to manufacture a run, but that was a little over the top. I hope we get to see Farnsie bat ... or will they pinch hit with Jeter?

Oh, by the way, hope LaMonica and Fernandez are ready to wear some hats.

--Whittle

Like when Sonny in "A Bronx Tale" rips up his ticket when he knows Mush bet his horse, I was feeling good about this Yankees comeback until I saw "Farnsie" enter the game.

"Come on, Kryptonite!"

He only gave up one run, but still...Does anyone else see the irony in calling these guys "relief" pitchers? I just whacked out a whole roll of TUMS.

Abreu's up -- gotta go.

-- Fernandez

Love Mike Timin, but, man, the run might be over.

Nice of Johnny Damon to bail out his fellow '04 alum, killing the Yankee rally with a back-breaking double play.

Yanks bullpen has looked too good tonight. Five scoreless innings And we still haven't seen Joba. Wait...It's Farnsworth time!

--Dennehy

Ok....Giambi just cracked one to bring the Yankees within, 7-5.

They should at least give Timlin an L-screen out there...or a large "Braveheart" shield.

Molina just singled. A fight may break out at the Yankee bat rack.

I want to hit. I'll take I-95...I'll be there in 3 1/2 hours. Tell the Yanks I use a 34-inch, 31-ounce bat. Hopefully the Yanks will still be up by the time I park on Lansdowne street.

Another single. Pitching change. Wow.

-- Fernandez

I should be gloating up a storm, considering the Sox are up 3-0 in the third and Phil Hughes looks about as sharp as a butter knife. But I'm a Sox fan, and that means I'm paranoid. The source of my paranoia: Papelbon and Okajima are likely both unavailable tonight.

That means Matsuzaka has to go deep into the ballgame, and he's up around 50 pitches in the third inning. Gulp. If Dice K holds on to the lead through the middle innings, Francona is going to have to be creative with the bullpen - guys like David Aardsma and Julian Tavarez could be used in pressure situations. Tavarez reminds me more and more of Bob Stanley these days - boorish temperament, "meh" sinkerball, questionable salary.

Dice is up to 60 pitches through three ... the Sox are going to need to hit Hughes hard to hold this lead.

--Whittle

I'm actually pleased that this Gino Castignoli guy's odd plan to bury Big Papi's shirt beneath the new Stadium was thwarted. This was a questionable prank in the first place.

(And, incidentally, Mark, I would have made a lousy suspect. No chance I'd spend $139.99 on a jersey, never mind drop it in cement. Certainly not in that neighborhood.)

Seems to me the whistleblowers who turned the guy in, and the Steinbrenners who staged this made-for-TV excavation of the offending garment, did the Sox a favor. (Along with Joe Girardi pitching to Manny with Saturday's game on the line, that's two big favors in the weekend. Thanks, fellas!)

Papi needed a little love in the karma department. God knows this is the closest the Yankees have come to owning him.

I remember in recent years how Yankee fans used to say they didn't think too much about the Red Sox. That it was not really a rivalry since the Yankees usually won.

Apparently, things have changed to the point that the Yankees are considering filing CRIMINAL CHARGES against this poor guy because he buried a Sox shirt. Are you serious?

It seems the Yankees should be more concerned about being stuck with Johnny Damon's jersey.

Anyway, looking forward to hearing what Wade Boggs has to offer in the ESPN pre-game. Something tells me he'll offer some real insightful information... on Wade Boggs.

-- Dennehy

Further developments in the Red Sox jersey being excavated from the new Yankee Stadium we wrote about earlier on Sunday: It was a David Ortiz jersey!

That explains why Big Papi is 1-for-329 to start this season (OK, 3-for-43, but whatever).

Looks like that dude who planted the jersey in an attempt to curse the Yankees didn't think this through: Things buried in cement in New York never turn out positive for those things that are buried in the cement. The only winner is the cement.

So thanks to Gino Castignoli, who was fingered to the police and the AP by coworkers, for thrusting another 80-plus years of futility for those Bostonians! Ortiz may not get another hit this season because of this. Damn, why couldn't there have been a Manny Ramirez jersey, too? See more photos

- La Monica