The Knicks Fix

Isiah Thomas conducted his exit interviews with the Knicks players over the final days of the season. Now, it's my turn.

Eddy Curry - Please develop two things this summer, a 15-foot jumper and a mean streak. For instance, next season, picture every player you go up against as Scott Skiles. Maybe that'll help.

Jamal Crawford - Your game developed almost as much as Eddy's this season, but most people didn't notice it as much. I'm saying nice things to you because I hope you don't go public with the late reaction our medical staff had with your ankle fracture.

Stephon Marbury - Before your body broke down, you showed flashes of all-star talent. I don't really care to discuss the off-the-court stuff, because sneakers and TV shows may improve your image, but it ain't getting me a ring.

Quentin Richardson - My man, you could play hockey. And on my team, you'd have a "C" on your chest. That's the biggest compliment I could give anyone. And I need to compliment you because I hope you don't reveal the truth about the confusion surrounding your season-ending back surgery.

Steve Francis - Sorry we wasted your time. Enjoy Cleveland. Or, whatever.

David Lee - Um, great season until, well, you know. You're not going to sue, are you? Malpractice cases tend to get ugly. As a token of his appreciation, Mr. Dolan has this 2007 Escalade for you. And free Cable for life. What? You want a contract extension? Son, we don't just toss those things around here.

Nate Robinson - Look, you're a funny guy, but funny guys who can't play don't win. We'd consider giving you Ritalin, but we're afraid it'll make your feet even slower on defense. So all we can do is implore you to start taking this NBA dream more serious. If you don't, we'll see you on the Harlem Globetrotters tour, where they love people who clown around and where winning is not the purpose.

Channing Frye - Mr. First Quarter. You seemed to always disappear after that. You have more talent than perhaps you allow yourself to believe. Unfortunately this place may not have the right program for you to develop. Hello, Donnie Walsh please....yes, I'll hold.

Renaldo Balkman - Aw man. Crazy. You were better than anyone thought, yet let's not get carried away. Your career potential is an off-the-bench energy guy. But we dig that about you, baby.

Mardy Collins - Can I just say I called it from the start? No tattoos, no attitude, no B.S. Just a ball. You may be from Philly, but you were a born Knick and one of the few on this team who could have easily fit in on those teams from the 1990s. Welcome home.

Jared Jeffries - Just a suggestion, give up on the free throw practice. Spend more time on everything else. Oh, and thanks for not making a big deal out of the fact that we never X-rayed your injured wrist until after that first preseason game, when we realized you broke it. Oopsie!

Malik Rose - Pro's pro (another element we need more of around here). If Q gets the 'C' on my team, you'd definitely get one of the 'A's. For anyone who doesn't know what this means, ask someone in hockey. Malik I know you know, because you were a Flyers fan.

Jerome James - When you were asked to come to training camp in shape, we didn't mean "pear," man! (Seriously, was that the best shape you could get yourself in? At $5 million a year?)

Kelvin Cato - It's our fault. If we gave you some time to get in shape, maybe we should have pushed you into the lineup as the power forward, because at least you'd try to block a few shots and get a few rebounds. Instead, you sat the bench for a million bucks. Life's good, isn't it?

Randolph Morris -- Oh, hey. That's right, forgot about you in that last game. Uh, sorry. Was trying to win and, well...yeah. OK, you're free to get back to Kentucky and finish classes so you don't singlehandedly destroy the basketball program there by dropping out completely. We'll see you in summer league.

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My mandatory summer league invites:
Balkman, Collins, Frye, Morris and Robinson.

My offseason targets:
Kevin Garnett - If he decides to opt-out, Minnesota should trade him first. I'd be first in line. Instant credibility and he can hit a short jumper. Doesn't need to be the focal point of the offense.

Jermaine O'Neal - If Garnett isn't available, O'Neal is my second choice. Has a history with Isiah with the Pacers and with assistant coach George Glymph, who coached him at Eau Claire High in South Carolina. O'Neal is younger, a good shot-blocker (which the Knicks lack) and is versatile enough to work with Curry.

Pau Gasol - Terrific scorer and underrated shot-blocking presence. A competitor, when he's healthy. If the Grizzlies consider dealing him, the Knicks have to look into it.

Rashard Lewis - Certainly worth looking at, but he's more of a small forward. Where would he fit on a team loaded with tweeners? He doesn't fill a more critical need, which is at the "four" spot.

Mikki Moore - He'll be a free agent and this season with the Nets showed an ability to hit jumpers, defend the post and even is strong on help D. Great energy guy and competitive.

Ron Artest - Why not? If the Kings are willing to move him, the Knicks might as well look to right a wrong from so many years ago, when a previous administration thought it best to draft an immobile European big man over the homegrown Artest. A return to New York might put a spark back into Artest, which would be a major spark for the Knick defense.