The Final Score

Let me get this straight, Anthony. You want me to defend Chicago’s cute little El/subway system against the world’s largest underground urinal.

OK, you win. New York’s subways smell worse. You have better trannies and winos and a better quality of DNA on the seats.

The CTA is better in a couple of ways, though. The El takes you right into O’Hare Airport. The El takes you right into Midway Airport. Incoming visitors can take the train from either airport to the Shrine of the Chicago Cubs and/or U.S. Cellular Field.

Sure, it’s a roaring, boring ride and somewhat scary because of some hairpin turns on the elevated tracks north of Wrigleyville and near Chinatown.

As kid, the ride from the far North Side to Wrigley Field used to scare the hell out me as the train slowed to navigate that turn. To your right, below, is a cemetery presumably filled with all the victims of trains that didn’t make the turn.

I was just 10 or 11 when I started riding the El to Cubs games alone or with Jill, my younger sister who I never have forgiven for freezing when a foul ball landed at her feet. It was just laying there until someone else ran over and picked it up while I was trying to put down the Frosty Malt that I had in one hand and the scorecard in the other. By the way, the Phillies lost their 22nd game in a row that day. It’s hard to believe that in those days and 11 year old and and and 8 year old would ride the train alone.

Anyway, back to the “debate.” The El has much better scenery on the overhead lines around the Loop.

My biggest problem with the MTA is that only natives can figure it out. Once, about 10 p.m., I entered the subway at Times Square and had to walk about a mile underground to get to whatever train goes to Kew Gardens. Only when we arrived did we see a sign that the line was out of service. And my wife and I were not the only people fooled.

Now comes the real difference between New Yorkers and Chicagoans: As people who were similarly fooled by the closed line were walking back to another station, not a single one ahead of us warned people coming in the other direction.

So who wins the Great El/Subway debate? I vote for Montreal.

Chicago Norm